Victorious s04e03 Episode Script

- Did you find it? - I'm looking.
- Just search "Gargantosaurus.
" - I know what to search.
You sure we all want to spend our Saturday night at a museum? It's a new discovery, the third biggest dinosaur bone ever found in California.
I hear it's a femur.
That's a leg bone.
Okay, here we go.
I got it.
The Gargantosaurus femur bone will be on display tomorrow night from 7 to 11 P.
M.
At the museum of large bones.
Yes, this is gonna be great! Great! Oh, my gosh! What about your gosh? To celebrate the launch of the new Pear Pad three, The Pear Store at The Grove is giving away three new Pear Pads.
How do you win one? By making a video showing how much you want one.
The best video makers each get a Pear Pad three.
I got to work on this all weekend.
No! What about the dinosaur bone? It's a femur.
I got to work on my video.
Andre, you want to do it with me? Nope, I've got a Pear Pad.
Yeah, a two.
What's so great about the three? It has a slightly better screen.
I don't care.
I'm cool with my Pear Pad two.
Man, I love this slingshot.
See anything for me to hit? Yeah.
See that kid at Hollywood Arts holding the green Pear Pad? Yep.
Anyway Ow! What the Oh! It's those slingshot kids again! Oh, dude, come on! Oh, I hate those slingshot kids! They're a menace! Well, now you do need a new Pear Pad.
What kind of video should we make? I'm not sure yet, but check the weather.
A brainstorm's coming.
Uh, maybe this is a bad idea.
No, no, no.
It's gonna be awesome.
Come on.
Wait! So neither of you are coming with us tomorrow night to the museum of large bones? - Nope.
- Enjoy the bone.
So, tomorrow night, I guess it's just you and me.
Yeah I can't go.
I'm uh Busy.
Busy? You were just talking about the museum.
Dude, I can't go with just you.
Why not? Because, if it's just the two of us, then it's like A date.
Alright, I get it.
You don't want to go on a date.
So we'll do the opposite of a date.
Opposite? We won't dress nice, we'll eat terrible food and we'll do something unfun.
That is not a date.
It's just us hanging out.
Yeah, that's not a date.
It's like an opposite date.
- See you at seven.
- I am not looking forward to it.
There you go.
Oh! Oh, those slingshot kids! Here I am once again.
Feeling lost but now and then.
I breathe it in to let it go.
And you don't know where you are now.
And what it will come to if only somebody could hear.
When you figure out how.
You're lost in the moment.
You disappear.
You don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action.
You'll never gonna fade.
You'll be the main attraction.
Not a fantasy.
Just remember me.
When it turns out right.
Because you know that if you live in your imagination.
Tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination.
In my victory.
Just remember me.
When I make it shine.
Hi.
Oh, hey, Cat.
Hi.
Oh wait, I already said that.
It's okay.
So you guys are all gonna go see the big bone tomorrow night? No, Andre and Robbie decided they want to make a video to try and win the new Pear Pad three.
Oh, I hear it has a new screen.
Slightly better, yeah.
It's very exciting.
So you don't have any plans tomorrow night? No, I do um - Beck and I are gonna - Ooh! Stop, it's not a date! Oh, right.
Stop doing that with your eye! We're just hanging out, you know, friends.
Oh, so I can tell people you're going out with Beck? We're not going out.
So you're staying in with him? No! - I see you, girl.
- Just don't tell anyone! Okay, I'll keep your dirty secret.
No, it's not a dirty secret.
Bye.
Come on.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, just like that.
Oh, this is great.
Oh, yes, more of that, more of that.
Really feel it.
Okay, come on, smile now.
Smile.
Look fruitful.
Whoa! You two are quite the "Pear.
" These are the costumes for our video.
To win the new Pear Pads.
So what's the video gonna be? Oh, we're gonna go outside, get on the roof and sing a song.
About how much we love Pear Pads.
Cool, and you're shooting it now? - No.
- Tomorrow.
We're just getting the fruity feel of these costumes.
Hey, that a new top? - Oh, yeah.
- Yikes.
- Hi, Jade.
- Hey.
You want to do something fun with me tomorrow night? Sure, what? I don't know.
I figured you'd pick because you're bossy.
Don't say I'm bossy! Okay! But you are, a little bit.
Whatever.
Yeah, let's hang out tomorrow night.
Okay, but we can't invite Tori to come with us because she's What's Tori doing tomorrow night? Nothing! I don't know.
She told me not to tell you.
- Five! - Oh, God! - Four! - Don't count! - Three! - Oh, I love three! Two! Have you heard about the new Pear Pads with a slightly better screen? - One! - Okay, okay! Tori and Beck are going out together.
- What? - But it's not a date.
They're just hanging out as friends.
Okay, well, I know what you and I are doing tomorrow night.
Going to see the big bone? No! We're gonna find out where Tori and Beck are going and see, whether or not they're just friends.
I thought you said I could pick what we do.
Now I'm picking.
- Bossy.
- What? Nothing.
Okay, you guys ready to shoot one? One sec! You know all the lyrics to the song I wrote? Uh, yeah, but you know that the words "Pear Pad" don't rhyme with "hair bag.
" Close enough.
It's really not.
Oh, my God! - What happened? - What? I just got a text! They found my mom in Mexico! What's she doing in Mexico? We're not sure.
She's been into some pretty funky stuff lately.
Wait! You can't leave! You got to shoot our video! Next week! Mother, your mijo is coming! No! The contest will be over by next week! Whoa, Andre, help, I'm falling.
We fell.
Yes, we did.
- Ugh! - Ah! Oh! Well, this is a predicament.
Come on, we can get up.
On three.
One, two, three.
- I can do it! - Yes you can! Ah! D ah See, look at us.
We look awful! Not a date! Nope.
Nope, I would never dress like this for a date.
Oh, and I didn't shower.
Me neither.
In fact, I rubbed dirt on myself.
You took an opposite shower.
For our opposite date.
See, if this was a regular date, we'd be going to some nice Restaurant.
- But not us.
- Nope.
We are going to eat bad seafood From a truck! Actually, that truck doesn't look so bad.
Wait for it.
Oh! Oh, that's reeky.
Wait til you taste it.
Help! Help us! Anyone! Please! Help! Help! Hello, help! Help! Oh, I'm so hungry.
I have to tinkle.
How long have we been here like this? About nine hours.
Man, I can't believe we did this to ourselves.
Just to get a stupid Pear Pad three.
Well, it does have a slightly better screen.
- Robbie? - Yeah? You say that one more time, I'm gonna grab your head and pull it right off your body.
Slightly better screen, slightly better screen, slightly better screen, slightly better screen! Well? Thank you for the ice cream cone.
I bought you the ice cream so you'd tell me where Tori and Beck are.
I don't know where they are! I feel like you did that on purpose.
I will buy you another one if you call Tori and find out where she and Beck are.
If you want to know so bad, why don't you call Tori? Because she won't tell me if I ask! Okay.
We stopped.
Am I in trouble? Give me your phone.
Okay.
Good.
Now lean towards me and put your head on my shoulder.
Sure.
Shh, don't fight it, don't fight it.
Oh, it's Cat.
- Hello? - Hi.
Hey, Cat, what's up? Are you and Beck having fun? Yeah, but you know, not too much fun.
So where are you guys right now? Uh, we're at some food truck near Melrose and La Brea.
Melrose and La Brea.
Okay.
- Hey, so what are you up to tonight? - Bye! Melrose and La Brea, here we come.
You didn't sound anything like me.
Tori believed it was you.
You didn't get my laugh right.
Yeah, I did.
You go I don't laugh like that.
Puppies wearing sunglasses.
Dang it.
Mm.
How gross is this food? So gross! What are these? Fried clams? Maybe.
Are clams supposed to have hair? Oh! Ewe! See, this doesn't feel anything like a date, right? Total opposite of a date.
To seafood from a truck! Seafood from a truck.
Don't Don't eat the clams.
God, I hate being stuck in traffic! We're gonna be late and we're gonna miss Beck and Tori.
Honk! I honked just like your car.
Oh, let's think about all the different kinds of honks there are.
I like the one that's like "meep-meep," you know, like how the bird does it in the cartoon? - The roadrunner? - No, I don't like him.
He's so mean to that dog.
That dog is a coyote.
Oh, my God, was that racist? I realize we'll probably die up here Hungry Thirsty Alone on our backs.
Dressed like fruits.
But at least, I'm gonna die with my good friend You.
We're not gonna die like this, Rob.
- We're not? - Nope.
We're gonna live.
We have to live.
Why? So we can get out of here and I can hurt you.
With my own bare hands.
Or maybe a baseball bat.
Yeah, a bat.
I'd like that.
Don't you just love how dogs hang their head out the window and lick the wind? Watch.
Woof! Pull your head back in the car before I roll up the window and cut it off! My head's back in the car.
Now call Tori and find out where Beck's taking her.
- Bossy.
- What? I'm calling Tori.
Oy.
Hey, Cat.
Hi.
What's up? Um, where are you and Beck going? Oh, his aunt called him and Hey, how come you keep calling and asking where we are? Um You didn't tell anyone that Beck and I are out together, did you? What? No That's so crazy! She's suspicious.
Hi, Tori.
Um, my brother locked me in the closet, so I'm really bored and I just want to know what you guys are doing.
That's so disrespectful.
Oh, well um, Beck's aunt called him and asked him to take her dog to some animal hospital, and we're on our way to pick him up.
Oh, fun, where's this animal hospital? Uh, Sherman Oaks.
Wow, Sherman Oaks.
That's so cool.
Ah, here comes my brother! Bye! Go online and look up animal hospitals in Sherman Oaks right now.
Well, there's one on Woodman, but it closes at six on the weekends, so they're probably going to Pet Mergency which is on Moonpark, just west of Clearwater.
How do you know so much about animals hospitals? My brother has a turtle with special problems.
So don't worry.
He should be good as new by next week.
- Thanks.
- Just have a seat.
As soon as his ointment's ready, I'll bring it out.
Okay.
Well, I'd say this is the perfect way to end our opposite date.
Yep, waiting for dog ointment.
Hey, actually we're gonna have an even more perfect ending.
What do you mean? Applying dog ointment to the affected area.
- Mm.
- Mm-hum.
Well, I think this has been a great little experiment.
Experiment? We proved that you and I can hang out, you know, just the two of us and not have it turn into a datey thing.
No doubt.
In fact, when I take you home later, I'm gonna punch you in the arm.
Like Ow! Too hard! - Oh, you baby! - You're a baby! - No, I'm not! - Baby with lots of hair! Hey, is that a dog? Uh, yeah.
Are you two brother and sister? Us? No, no.
We're not brother and sister.
Why do you ask? Because I heard you say you weren't on a date.
And you're both so attractive and you got a similar bone structure.
So I figured if you're not on a date, you must be brother and sister.
- No.
- We're just buds.
See, he used to date this girl, Jade.
My ex-girlfriend.
And she's sort of my friend, so you know, it'd be weird if he and I dated.
Why would that be weird? Because we all hang out together.
So? Um, if I could chime in, I think what she's saying is, maybe his ex-girlfriend um - Jade? - Jade.
Maybe she still likes this boy with the hair.
Uh, she kind of walked out on me.
That doesn't mean she ain't still got feelings for you.
I bet she does.
I think we're ignoring the obvious question.
Do you two have feelings for each other? Is our dog ointment ready?! So why did you let Jade go? Yeah, why'd you let her go? I didn't let her go! You know what? I really don't want to talk about this here.
He's afraid to face his feelings.
Um-hum.
No! Okay? Look I'll always love Jade as a friend but as a girlfriend, she was She would always freak out over every little thing.
Sometimes girls do that.
Because we get scared inside.
And we need a man to make us feel safe.
Whoa! Whoa now! Trust me.
Jade isn't scared of anything.
You probably just want Beck for yourself.
I do not want Beck for myself! Look, Beck and I are just friends, all right? So then you told Jade you're hanging out with him tonight.
Well, no.
- Uh-huh.
- Interesting.
Okay, you know what? You listen to me! And there they are.
Oh, man.
- Jade? - Things are about to get real.
Wow, Tori and Beck are here.
Who'd have thunk that they'd be I mean, what a coincidence? Oh, who am I kidding? Wait.
So that's Jade? Look, Jade, I can explain why Beck and I Come on, how you gonna explain that you're out on a date with her ex-boyfriend? It's not a date! They broke up.
Tori has every right to go out with Beck.
Not really going out! Hey, Beck, which one of them do you think is prettier? Why don't you go check your mom's pulse? You have no right to be mad at us because Beck and I are only I'm not.
You're not What? I'm not mad.
Careful! It's a trick! It's not a trick.
I thought I was mad but I mean now that I'm here, what do I have to be mad about? We broke up, we're all friends, kind of.
I mean, any of us should be able to hang out with whoever we want.
Still thinking it's a trick.
It's not.
Are you really okay? Yeah.
That's pretty cool.
And here's your ointment for Buster.
- Oh, thanks.
- Thanks.
Every four hours, just rub it right around - We get it.
- We know.
- Oh, hi, Cat.
- Hi, Maureen.
- How's your brother's turtle? - Oh, not so great.
What's wrong with his turtle? He keeps accidentally flipping over and can't get up.
- Oh, that's awful.
- Poor thing.
Yeah, poor little guy just lays on his back for hours.
So sad.
This is so sad.
We're stuck here on our backs like turtles.
This is so terrible! And all for nothing.
Just a dumb Pear Pad three! It has a slightly better screen.
Shut up! Shut up! Oh! Shut up! Shut up about that screen!