Ballers (2015) s04e04 Episode Script
Forgiving Is Living
1 SPENCER STRASMORE: Jesus, who's directing this, James Cameron? A million dollars on a skateboard video? I don't carry a budget around in my back pocket.
(INHALES DEEPLY) Okay.
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING) I want Quincy to find a school that checks all the boxes.
SPENCER: I'm here, for you.
Talking, text, whatever you need.
- I may take you up on that.
- (GLASSES CLINK) Man, I appreciate you agreeing to come work out for me.
Don't look nervous, man.
I got this, baby! Seems like he may have lost a step, huh? MAN: A step or two.
I'm not an employee.
I built this company.
I work for me.
I ain't changing, do you feel me? - (BONES CRUNCHING) - Do you feel me? - Yeah, ow.
- You're fired, mate.
Kane is in the building (MUSIC PLAYING) Now tell me how you love it, you know you at the top When only heaven's right above it, we on 'Cause we on Who else is really trying to fuck with Hollywood Cole? I'm with Marley G, bro Flying Hollygrove chicks to my Hollywood shows And I wanna tell you something that you probably should know This that "Slumdog Millionaire" Bollywood flow And, uh My real friends never hearing from me Fake friends write the wrong answers on the mirror for me That's why I pick and choose, I don't get shit confused Don't like my women single, I like my chicks in twos And these days all the girls is down to roll I hit the strip club and all them bitches find the pole Plus, I been sippin', so this shit is moving kinda slow Just tell my girl to tell her friend that it's time to go.
(CAR ALARM BEEPS) SPENCER: Joe, I did what I did, and I don't feel bad about it.
JOE: Oh, my God.
Can you just admit that maybe you were being just a tad bit over-reactive? What are you, crazy? Lance is hardly the victim here, man.
Plus, you said it best yourself.
We can be whoever we wanna be.
- Oh.
- So what do we need him for? Yeah, well, maybe I was wrong.
Besides, he's just pullin' the same shit we pulled at ASM wanting to do it his own way.
Ah, not quite, buddy.
He was effectively stealing money from us.
I suppose, but was it stealing, or was it just overspending? All right, come on.
You know what? The debate is over.
What's done is done.
I know he was your boy, but he's gone.
Get over it and get in.
(TIRES SQUEALING) JOE: You put your trust in someone, you know? You bank your career on it only to get kicked in the nuts with a pointed shoe.
It's so disappointing.
All right, he's fast and loose.
We don't need that shit in our lives.
Yeah, no, totally.
So what do we do now? Well, we stabilize our client list, and we rally the troops.
SPENCER: Jess, where is everyone? This is everyone.
Everyone else went with Lance.
Where? He started his own company.
Oh, fuck me! - Well, it was nice meeting you guys.
- No, no, no, no You're not going anywhere.
Hang tight.
I need you.
Yeah.
Excuse us.
Is this a fuckin' joke? It must be, because I am laughing my little scrawny ass off.
SPENCER: We bought the company and its assets from you, Lance, so the ass you're laughing off is owned by us.
Oh, well, then you're gonna have to sue me, aren't you, Spencer? I will bankrupt you, you piece of shit.
- Do you hear me? - Well, as I understand it, possession is nine-tenths of the law, and currently, I possess everything that you want to keep.
SPENCER OVER PHONE: You have a non-compete, Lance.
Yeah, about that non-compete.
Why don't you say hello to Kelly Slater? Hey, Spencer.
I was gonna call you on the way over here.
What's up, my bald-headed brother? - Talk to me.
- I'm staying with Lance, man.
You know I'm loyal to a fault.
What happened to the kanikapila we just had on the beach with our 'ohanas, what we talked about? I don't let a good pig roast get in the way of business.
Sorry, bud.
- I'm staying with Lance.
- Fuck that motherfucker! He's a piece of shit! No, no, no, Actually, fuck you, Spencer.
Now, the GOAT, or King Kelly as people who actually know him call him, and I are just gonna enjoy some post-wave good vibes and talk about making a lot of money while you do whatever you do as a hobby.
Ta-ta.
Nobody fucking go anywhere.
- We're going to fucking war.
- (SIGHS) TRAINER: One, two one, two, three.
Damn.
You are one angry motherfucker today, Ricky.
What's up? He hits like he hates white people.
Nah, that ain't true, man.
I love you, Randy.
JAY: I love you too, Randy.
One, two, three.
Thinking about un-retiring, though.
Worked for me a couple times.
Actually, it worked for you about six times.
Floyd, too.
What's the problem, Ricky? There you go.
Well, how'd you feel before you did? Emotionally or physically? Before you answer that, let's consider the source over here.
He's always off emotionally.
(BOTH SHOUTING) I mean physically, man.
How'd you know whether you still had the gift? You never really know until you get punched in the face.
Are you joking, Randy? - Do I look like I'm joking? - No.
JAY: Rick, you're too pretty to get punched in the face.
Shit.
That ain't never stopped me before, Jay.
Huh? But you gotta really ask yourself, what's your motivation? Honestly, Ricky, if your motivation is external money and cars you are done.
That's what you asked yourself? Yeah.
That shit's deep, man.
I like that shit.
Therapists ain't got shit on y'all, huh? - Y'all should put that in the class.
- Oh, trust me.
We work on this - more than we work on this.
- Gonna be real with y'all, man, I'd much rather be playing ball than sittin' around in my Newport Beach mansion waitin' to die.
How's that for motivation? Let's get some more therapy.
Keep 'er goin'.
It's Strasmore.
Spencer Strasmore's my name.
Get me Tony Hawk.
Travis, I'm calling to tell you we're making a couple changes at the head office.
Shit.
I'm not I love Lance.
He's fucking insane.
Sorry, Joe, I gotta jump.
I hope your fucking chute doesn't open, ya dickhead.
Chutes are for pussies.
Tony.
Just calling to let you know that we are no longer working with Lance.
Yo, Strasmore, hold your pitch.
I don't wanna put you out there any more than you already are.
Lance is the one who gave me the idea to do the video game in the first place.
I wasn't gonna call it "Tony Hawk's Pro Skater.
" What the fuck were you gonna call it? - "The Bird's Nest.
" - The Bird's Nest? Aw, Tony.
Jesus Christ.
Long story.
Either way, Lance has helped me build a lot of parks for a lot of kids, so I gotta roll with the guy even though he is kinda douchey.
If things don't work out between you guys, you know where to find me, OK? I'm always here.
Spencer, I've got Laird for you.
Laird, King of the seas.
Listen, my man.
So we're not gonna be LAIRD: It's too late.
When I signed up with the company, I signed up with Lance.
You know my dad always said to stick with the wave that you rode in on.
That's what I try to teach my daughters, and, well, I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't at least give Lance the benefit of the doubt.
It's there's one thing I understand, it's family tradition, all right? You give my love to Gabby and take care of yourself.
- Where's Parker? - No answer.
Well, keep dialing.
It's going straight to voicemail.
- Think he's with Lance? - I have no idea.
Make a list of people who are staying and people who are going.
I think that's gonna be pretty easy.
Wait whoa.
Are you jumping ship, too? Well, that depends.
Are you guys gonna promote me to manager? Holy shit.
Way to take advantage of us when we're down.
Jess, get the fuck out of these offices.
I'm only kidding.
Take an empty office.
Congrats.
Great.
I'll make sure we take care of the phones so people know we haven't gone out of business.
We are never out of the fight, Jess, right? The fuck happened to the TVs? (SIGHS) They've gone dark.
- Where's the control booth? - It's right next door.
Let me know when you get ahold of Parker.
Respect.
All right, bitches.
Let's get to work.
(PHONE RINGING) Major Teague! How's your sunburn? The sun didn't fuck me half as bad as you did, motherfucker.
JASON: What are you talking about? You lying piece of shit.
I'll fucking kill you! What the hell's going on over there? Is that Tiffany, or is that Tasha? Take a wild fucking guess.
Fuck you, too, Jason, you conspiratorial asshole! I'm guessin' it's Tiffany.
- Bingo.
- You got busted.
No, I didn't get busted.
Come out of there! Your girl Donna put me on blast.
She put a pic up on IG of me and Tasha.
The shit was framed and filtered.
Why would she do that unless you said something to upset her? TIFFANY: Come out of there, you pussy! I ain't never coming out of here with your crazy ass! I didn't say shit about Tiger, and that's the truth.
Be a man, Jason.
OK, of course I said something.
I'm an insecure fuck, just like any other dude would be who found out their girl was getting dicked by the guy that won four Masters.
- You need to fix this.
- (BANGING ON DOOR) Is it even fixable? Donna gotta call Tiffany and tell her that she brought her on the boat and I ain't know nobody was coming except you.
(SIGHS) Fuck.
You can't take care of it, lose my number.
TIFFANY: Cheater! You think you can cheat on me? - Abre la puerta! - This bitch is crazy.
(DISTANT PHONE RINGING) Un-fuckin'-believable.
JOE: There you go.
There's your answer.
They're all dead.
Hey! How's your breakfast burrito? It's delicious.
It's vegan.
Oh, that's fantastic.
Let me ask you something.
Why the fuck are you still eating breakfast? No, I I already had breakfast.
This is an early lunch.
Do you have a job around here, or do you get paid to eat? Geez, Spencer.
He's just a kid.
I'm sorry, sir.
It's just everything's on hold, and no one knows what to do.
It's called work.
That's what you do.
You find a disc, and you pop it in, of somebody riding some sort of board, and press play.
- It's not that simple.
- Oh, no? You run things around here? No.
The guys who runs things was fired.
- By who? - By you.
It was Lance.
I'm just the station manager.
Well, Mr.
Station Manager, can you tell me, why isn't anything playing on these screens? Lance said go dark, we went dark.
Everybody in the TV business knows you don't go fucking dark.
I'm not even in the business.
I know that.
Maybe that's why Lance wanted to go dark - to do what's never been done.
- Or maybe he just wants to see how far he can push me before I snap his fucking neck.
Look, I'm sorry.
I did not mean to make you madder Hey, hey, hey! Get your nose back in the tofu scramble and shut the fuck up.
All right, listen.
As everyone around here can tell from our memo, we had to let Lance go.
We're the ones in charge now.
What we want to see is something on these screens.
- What did you have in mind? - I don't give a shit.
Just make it pretty and keep it going.
(PHONE RINGING) JOE: What are you guys doing? Come on.
Make it pretty, and go! - Did you find Parker? - He's not picking up his cell, but it looks like he's headed down the PCH in his pickup.
- How do you know that? - JESSE: I hacked into his iPhone.
Well, I had his password, so it wasn't that hard.
- I bet you think I'm a stalker now.
- No, I don't.
I think you're a very resourceful woman.
Cool.
Can I get another promotion if I tell you where he stops? Yes, you can, and I might even be giving you my job soon.
Couldn't do without you, Spency Spence.
- (JOE LAUGHING) - Wake up.
That happened in reality! Don't think twice You know I'm comin' for ya (PHONE RINGING) SPENCER: Siz calling.
Third time.
Avoid.
Avoid, avoid, avoid.
Like I do with Vernon and fucking Odrick and James Harrison.
Avoid him.
Siz, what's going on, brother? I'm up to my ass in acupuncture needles, and they still don't cause me as much pain as you.
So I'm assuming you heard.
Yeah.
I heard you fucked some shit up for you and your investors.
I'm one of those, too, just in case you forgot.
No, I have not forgotten.
We had a little problem with our partner because he is a self-indulgent prick and a pathological liar.
Well, that pathological liar said you cut him out of his own company.
- Where'd you hear that? - From him.
Lance called me in the middle of the night.
Your buddy Lance is calling our investors now.
I've told you he was a go-getter, right? Not that that's a good thing, but You know what I'm talking about.
(SIGHS) Siz Who the fuck buys a business and fires the CEO? It's like buying a team and cuttin' your All-Pro quarterback.
I'm the CEO now.
He left us no choice.
SIZZLE: That's bullshit.
As my girl says, you always got a choice, and she's right.
Lance is not the primary asset of Sports X.
- The talent is.
- Shit.
I got talent, too.
And my talent is my instinct for protecting my investments, and those same instincts are telling me you need to fix this shit with Lance.
It's too late.
I already made the decision.
It's in the best interests of ASM.
Well, I guess ASM ain't in my best interest.
Fuck it.
I'm out.
Sell my shares.
Cut me a cashier's check.
We done? You're the worst patient ever.
You validate? What? What? He hang up on you? He wants out.
Oh, fuck me.
(MUSIC PLAYING) There's our guy.
Yo! What up, my dudes? Where ya been, bro? We've been looking for you.
Yeah, I know.
I lost my phone in the tsunami.
What tsunami? The one tearing through Sports X.
Ah, we take it you heard from Lance.
Yeah, I know.
He left me a long, crazy-ass voicemail.
Kinda like an ex-girlfriend.
Can't underestimate that dude, though, you feel me? - Yeah.
- I'll be right back.
Just two seconds.
Listen, we got an amazing plan in place, Parker, OK? We want that to include you.
Next level shit.
Game-changing stuff, OK? Parker, you can tell by the way we handled that Coke deal, we know what's up.
Listen.
I know that we have a slightly different vibe than you and your crew, but, I mean, we can still feel you, you know? You think you can feel me, Joe? Yeah, I can absolutely feel you.
Yeah.
Then what am I feeling right now? Uh confused.
- Horny.
- Fuck.
I shoulda said "horny.
" I was gonna say it.
I was gonna say "horny.
" Parker, look man.
We wanna continue to rep you, and we're very confident that we can do a great job for you.
Man, this ain't pigskin, all right.
What makes you think you know anything about what I do? Oh, come on, man.
When those waves are firing and the energy's moving, you're out there rippin' your turns, I know everything about what you do.
Plus, I'm part Samoan.
Come on.
(CHUCKLES) This is a charming motherfucker.
Right? He's part Samoan.
- Of course he is.
- Must be somethin'.
Look.
We just want the opportunity to keep working for you, you know? Blow you the fuck up.
We're counting on that happening.
I like you guys, all right? I really do, so I'm gonna be straight up with you.
- All right, I'm not going with Lance.
- All right.
Fantastic.
But? But I'm gonna chill, go no reps for a while.
Just give us a couple months.
That's all.
Couple months.
Stop begging.
It's all good.
You change your mind, you know where to find us.
Appreciate that.
All right.
I gotta go get back to my friends.
- Go kick ass.
- JOE: Yeah.
- Yeah, so appreciate it.
- Go.
Yep.
All right, man.
- Take it easy.
- All right.
(SIGHS) Goddamn it.
I was gonna say fuckin' horny.
What He's 19.
Of course he's horny.
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING) (DOOR SHUTS) There he is.
TTD: What's up? You all right, T? Yup.
You had fun with your He-Men? Yeah, did good, man.
Got some good work in, too.
So you should do your organs a favor and put it on your to-do list.
It's on there all the way at the bottom.
Did you get any advice for your comeback? - Some.
- Like what? Punch me in the face.
What? Is it so hard to understand what I just said? I said, "Punch me in the face.
" - Nigga, you crazy.
- You think I'm joking? I'm not.
You asked me what I learned, this is what I learned.
Now punch me in the face before I beat your ass.
Don't hit me! Oh, shit.
You OK? Might be ready.
It's time to have a real conversation with Amber.
You done lost your damn mind.
Forget Amber.
You need to have a real conversation with a shrink.
You all right? Fuck.
Our lives are over.
That's a little alarmist, Joe.
Yeah, well, this ain't good, man.
I figure, best-case scenario, we sell Sports X at, what, a 7, 8 million dollar loss, right? But most likely it's just gonna bleed and bleed like a tumor hemorrhaging in my ass.
That's OK.
We got a solution for this.
We just gotta find it.
OK? (SIGHS) Lance was my contact, this was my deal, I brought him in.
I misjudged it.
I'm sorry.
Absolutely not.
This one's on me.
It's my bad, and I never should've let us get in this shit in the first place.
No, no.
No chance.
No chance.
I take full responsibility.
I had to see Lance for who he really was, not who I wanted him to be.
But it was a little hard when you're rolling at Burning Man dressed up like a fucking Martian pretending to look at art installations.
Goddamnit.
Hearing that out loud, my priorities are totally fucked.
Tell you what my old man used to tell me.
Hey, Spencer, Spencer save it, OK? Save it.
I've listened to all your stories about your old man and your brother and the I just I don't have a family.
I don't have a family.
You know, I was only child, both my parents are gone, and, to make matters worse, I killed my wife.
You did, didn't you? I was just trying to get your attention with a big headline, like you usually do "I'm an addict, I come from poverty, and my brother committed hara-kiri" Don't fucking mock my stories, man.
- I'm not.
- It's fucked up.
I'm just trying to tell you.
I'm not a former All-Pro.
I don't have 23-inch biceps and a fuckin' horse cock.
I'm just speculating.
I had this, man.
I had this.
This was my chance to be the man.
You got two things you're great at.
(SIGHS) Yeah, what's that? Fearlessness and self-awareness.
Don't overestimate me, pal.
If you like those qualities, you can have 'em at cost, - because they don't mean shit to me.
- No.
There's no need.
You've already given them to me, Joe, just by showing me the way.
You've made me aware enough to realize that I overreacted and I shouldn't have clipped Lance and I'm gonna go apologize to him.
(SIGHS) Are you fucking with me right now? I wish I was.
Have I told you lately that I love you? Every day.
Babe.
Babe.
Yo, I'm in here.
Hi, sweetie.
What are you reading? Sheryl Sandberg's "Lean in.
" I love that book.
Doubt you read it.
I haven't, but I support it, you know, women empowerment, females in the workplace, sisterhood.
Exactly.
So what's up with the Chanel box? - Oh, this? - Yeah.
Just a little something I got you.
For real? Aww.
How sweet of you, babe.
It's beautiful.
Do you like it? I'd say you shouldn't have, but you really should have, and don't think this is getting you a blowjob anytime soon, by the way.
Babe, come on.
Are you ready to admit that you were wrong? That that girl shouldn't have been on the boat? And by you staying silent, you're an enabler.
Might as well be fucking her yourself.
Whoa.
How did this become about me? Because it is.
You're complicit.
That's what you're not getting.
You're right.
I don't I didn't, but what you don't get is this is business.
Kisan's not my friend he's my client that you put on blast, and I can't even get him on the phone until you fix this.
Sheryl would understand.
She's worth a billion.
Right.
I hope you're not asking me to apologize.
Of course not.
I would never.
I want you to lie.
- Fuck you.
- Babe, just call Tiffany, tell her that you invited Tasha.
Please.
It's just business.
It's my business.
Please.
He hasn't missed a beat.
This guy's already operating at full strength.
I wish he had been like this with us in the first place.
Yeah, well, getting fired can be a great motivator.
Trust me.
I've been cut on several occasions.
Oh, I'll keep that in mind, but I like my current job.
I wanna keep it.
(SIGHS) - Hey.
What's up, guys? - Yeah, what's up? What happened to our call back, Nyjah? Aw, man.
I was out car shopping.
Car shopping? Don't you have, like, 16 cars already? Yeah, bro.
I need a yellow one.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, you do.
Fuck your cars.
NYJAH: Fuckin' bullies.
You know, that kid really can skate.
Yeah, Joe, uh, I'm getting ready to do something incredibly uncomfortable, so please don't speak.
OK.
Forgiving is living.
SPENCER: Let's do this.
Oh, no.
Oh, wow.
This is This is amazing.
I knew I'd see you guys again, but I assumed it would be in a court of law.
Yeah, well, that would make the lawyers rich.
I'd rather concentrate on making me rich.
You're rich in spirit.
Thank you, Joe.
Although, it is a little bit evil.
Now how's life at the chocolate factory without Willy Wonka? Augustus Gloop, did ya? I gotta give it you, Lance.
I'm really impressed.
You really turned it up a notch.
Shit's poppin' off here.
- People often underestimate me.
- That's why I'm here.
I wanna tell you that I've overreacted and I was wrong to assume that we didn't need you and I apologize.
I'm sorry.
Would you say that again, please? I said, "I apologize" to you.
You were wrong, weren't you? - He just said it.
Lance - It's all right.
Now, well, listen.
I'm allowed to enjoy the moment a little bit, aren't I? To bask in the vitamin D-giving rays of your apology, just for a moment to feel it? What? That makes me terrible? To put it bluntly, Lance, we can't do this without you.
I appreciate your acknowledgement, Spencer.
It's a little late, but it's a step in the right direction.
I am so impressed with this guy right here.
Constantly improving right before my very eyes.
So, um, what do you say? I mean, are you gonna come back to work with us? We'll make it fun for you.
We'll stay out of your way.
Well, that is a very nice little offer, but I think I've got an even nicer one.
- What's that? - I got new financing, as even you can surely deduce from all this bustling activity.
So how about this? I buy my company back from you at 50 cents on the dollar, and you go back to what you're good at football and finance.
Have a little moment, a tête-à -tête.
Mull it over.
Ahh.
.
JOE: So what are you thinking? As much as I hate this motherfucker, and as much as I hate telling you this right now, I think we should take the offer.
- Cut our loss.
- Losses, plural.
- Tick-tock, tick-tock, fellas.
- Remember? A lot of 'em.
This is a sunset clause.
Let's take the offer, get the fuck out of here, Joe.
Come on.
Yeah.
Listen, hey may I run point on the negotiations from here? - Take us home.
- All right.
So how about you take that offer, and you stick it straight up your fuckin' ass? That's a little reactive.
It's the only way I like to be, really.
- Fuck you.
- (LAUGHING) Fuck you.
No sale.
OK, well, you guys are making a mistake.
You know you guys have got nothing, right? You got a couple pieces of whack talent and a moderately successful surf channel.
LANCE: Without me, you got nothing.
I know, but it's what we do.
We make it work.
(LAUGHS) I am Sports X.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) See, I still love you The same way I gave adore Can't seem to run from the truth Let it all, to surround us, my love Rough day at the office? Brutal.
Mmm.
Tell me about it.
I had a client convicted of murder.
Well, guess my day wasn't so bad after all.
(SIGHS) And there's no such thing as control Lord forgive me, Lord forgive me I can't leave her
(INHALES DEEPLY) Okay.
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING) I want Quincy to find a school that checks all the boxes.
SPENCER: I'm here, for you.
Talking, text, whatever you need.
- I may take you up on that.
- (GLASSES CLINK) Man, I appreciate you agreeing to come work out for me.
Don't look nervous, man.
I got this, baby! Seems like he may have lost a step, huh? MAN: A step or two.
I'm not an employee.
I built this company.
I work for me.
I ain't changing, do you feel me? - (BONES CRUNCHING) - Do you feel me? - Yeah, ow.
- You're fired, mate.
Kane is in the building (MUSIC PLAYING) Now tell me how you love it, you know you at the top When only heaven's right above it, we on 'Cause we on Who else is really trying to fuck with Hollywood Cole? I'm with Marley G, bro Flying Hollygrove chicks to my Hollywood shows And I wanna tell you something that you probably should know This that "Slumdog Millionaire" Bollywood flow And, uh My real friends never hearing from me Fake friends write the wrong answers on the mirror for me That's why I pick and choose, I don't get shit confused Don't like my women single, I like my chicks in twos And these days all the girls is down to roll I hit the strip club and all them bitches find the pole Plus, I been sippin', so this shit is moving kinda slow Just tell my girl to tell her friend that it's time to go.
(CAR ALARM BEEPS) SPENCER: Joe, I did what I did, and I don't feel bad about it.
JOE: Oh, my God.
Can you just admit that maybe you were being just a tad bit over-reactive? What are you, crazy? Lance is hardly the victim here, man.
Plus, you said it best yourself.
We can be whoever we wanna be.
- Oh.
- So what do we need him for? Yeah, well, maybe I was wrong.
Besides, he's just pullin' the same shit we pulled at ASM wanting to do it his own way.
Ah, not quite, buddy.
He was effectively stealing money from us.
I suppose, but was it stealing, or was it just overspending? All right, come on.
You know what? The debate is over.
What's done is done.
I know he was your boy, but he's gone.
Get over it and get in.
(TIRES SQUEALING) JOE: You put your trust in someone, you know? You bank your career on it only to get kicked in the nuts with a pointed shoe.
It's so disappointing.
All right, he's fast and loose.
We don't need that shit in our lives.
Yeah, no, totally.
So what do we do now? Well, we stabilize our client list, and we rally the troops.
SPENCER: Jess, where is everyone? This is everyone.
Everyone else went with Lance.
Where? He started his own company.
Oh, fuck me! - Well, it was nice meeting you guys.
- No, no, no, no You're not going anywhere.
Hang tight.
I need you.
Yeah.
Excuse us.
Is this a fuckin' joke? It must be, because I am laughing my little scrawny ass off.
SPENCER: We bought the company and its assets from you, Lance, so the ass you're laughing off is owned by us.
Oh, well, then you're gonna have to sue me, aren't you, Spencer? I will bankrupt you, you piece of shit.
- Do you hear me? - Well, as I understand it, possession is nine-tenths of the law, and currently, I possess everything that you want to keep.
SPENCER OVER PHONE: You have a non-compete, Lance.
Yeah, about that non-compete.
Why don't you say hello to Kelly Slater? Hey, Spencer.
I was gonna call you on the way over here.
What's up, my bald-headed brother? - Talk to me.
- I'm staying with Lance, man.
You know I'm loyal to a fault.
What happened to the kanikapila we just had on the beach with our 'ohanas, what we talked about? I don't let a good pig roast get in the way of business.
Sorry, bud.
- I'm staying with Lance.
- Fuck that motherfucker! He's a piece of shit! No, no, no, Actually, fuck you, Spencer.
Now, the GOAT, or King Kelly as people who actually know him call him, and I are just gonna enjoy some post-wave good vibes and talk about making a lot of money while you do whatever you do as a hobby.
Ta-ta.
Nobody fucking go anywhere.
- We're going to fucking war.
- (SIGHS) TRAINER: One, two one, two, three.
Damn.
You are one angry motherfucker today, Ricky.
What's up? He hits like he hates white people.
Nah, that ain't true, man.
I love you, Randy.
JAY: I love you too, Randy.
One, two, three.
Thinking about un-retiring, though.
Worked for me a couple times.
Actually, it worked for you about six times.
Floyd, too.
What's the problem, Ricky? There you go.
Well, how'd you feel before you did? Emotionally or physically? Before you answer that, let's consider the source over here.
He's always off emotionally.
(BOTH SHOUTING) I mean physically, man.
How'd you know whether you still had the gift? You never really know until you get punched in the face.
Are you joking, Randy? - Do I look like I'm joking? - No.
JAY: Rick, you're too pretty to get punched in the face.
Shit.
That ain't never stopped me before, Jay.
Huh? But you gotta really ask yourself, what's your motivation? Honestly, Ricky, if your motivation is external money and cars you are done.
That's what you asked yourself? Yeah.
That shit's deep, man.
I like that shit.
Therapists ain't got shit on y'all, huh? - Y'all should put that in the class.
- Oh, trust me.
We work on this - more than we work on this.
- Gonna be real with y'all, man, I'd much rather be playing ball than sittin' around in my Newport Beach mansion waitin' to die.
How's that for motivation? Let's get some more therapy.
Keep 'er goin'.
It's Strasmore.
Spencer Strasmore's my name.
Get me Tony Hawk.
Travis, I'm calling to tell you we're making a couple changes at the head office.
Shit.
I'm not I love Lance.
He's fucking insane.
Sorry, Joe, I gotta jump.
I hope your fucking chute doesn't open, ya dickhead.
Chutes are for pussies.
Tony.
Just calling to let you know that we are no longer working with Lance.
Yo, Strasmore, hold your pitch.
I don't wanna put you out there any more than you already are.
Lance is the one who gave me the idea to do the video game in the first place.
I wasn't gonna call it "Tony Hawk's Pro Skater.
" What the fuck were you gonna call it? - "The Bird's Nest.
" - The Bird's Nest? Aw, Tony.
Jesus Christ.
Long story.
Either way, Lance has helped me build a lot of parks for a lot of kids, so I gotta roll with the guy even though he is kinda douchey.
If things don't work out between you guys, you know where to find me, OK? I'm always here.
Spencer, I've got Laird for you.
Laird, King of the seas.
Listen, my man.
So we're not gonna be LAIRD: It's too late.
When I signed up with the company, I signed up with Lance.
You know my dad always said to stick with the wave that you rode in on.
That's what I try to teach my daughters, and, well, I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't at least give Lance the benefit of the doubt.
It's there's one thing I understand, it's family tradition, all right? You give my love to Gabby and take care of yourself.
- Where's Parker? - No answer.
Well, keep dialing.
It's going straight to voicemail.
- Think he's with Lance? - I have no idea.
Make a list of people who are staying and people who are going.
I think that's gonna be pretty easy.
Wait whoa.
Are you jumping ship, too? Well, that depends.
Are you guys gonna promote me to manager? Holy shit.
Way to take advantage of us when we're down.
Jess, get the fuck out of these offices.
I'm only kidding.
Take an empty office.
Congrats.
Great.
I'll make sure we take care of the phones so people know we haven't gone out of business.
We are never out of the fight, Jess, right? The fuck happened to the TVs? (SIGHS) They've gone dark.
- Where's the control booth? - It's right next door.
Let me know when you get ahold of Parker.
Respect.
All right, bitches.
Let's get to work.
(PHONE RINGING) Major Teague! How's your sunburn? The sun didn't fuck me half as bad as you did, motherfucker.
JASON: What are you talking about? You lying piece of shit.
I'll fucking kill you! What the hell's going on over there? Is that Tiffany, or is that Tasha? Take a wild fucking guess.
Fuck you, too, Jason, you conspiratorial asshole! I'm guessin' it's Tiffany.
- Bingo.
- You got busted.
No, I didn't get busted.
Come out of there! Your girl Donna put me on blast.
She put a pic up on IG of me and Tasha.
The shit was framed and filtered.
Why would she do that unless you said something to upset her? TIFFANY: Come out of there, you pussy! I ain't never coming out of here with your crazy ass! I didn't say shit about Tiger, and that's the truth.
Be a man, Jason.
OK, of course I said something.
I'm an insecure fuck, just like any other dude would be who found out their girl was getting dicked by the guy that won four Masters.
- You need to fix this.
- (BANGING ON DOOR) Is it even fixable? Donna gotta call Tiffany and tell her that she brought her on the boat and I ain't know nobody was coming except you.
(SIGHS) Fuck.
You can't take care of it, lose my number.
TIFFANY: Cheater! You think you can cheat on me? - Abre la puerta! - This bitch is crazy.
(DISTANT PHONE RINGING) Un-fuckin'-believable.
JOE: There you go.
There's your answer.
They're all dead.
Hey! How's your breakfast burrito? It's delicious.
It's vegan.
Oh, that's fantastic.
Let me ask you something.
Why the fuck are you still eating breakfast? No, I I already had breakfast.
This is an early lunch.
Do you have a job around here, or do you get paid to eat? Geez, Spencer.
He's just a kid.
I'm sorry, sir.
It's just everything's on hold, and no one knows what to do.
It's called work.
That's what you do.
You find a disc, and you pop it in, of somebody riding some sort of board, and press play.
- It's not that simple.
- Oh, no? You run things around here? No.
The guys who runs things was fired.
- By who? - By you.
It was Lance.
I'm just the station manager.
Well, Mr.
Station Manager, can you tell me, why isn't anything playing on these screens? Lance said go dark, we went dark.
Everybody in the TV business knows you don't go fucking dark.
I'm not even in the business.
I know that.
Maybe that's why Lance wanted to go dark - to do what's never been done.
- Or maybe he just wants to see how far he can push me before I snap his fucking neck.
Look, I'm sorry.
I did not mean to make you madder Hey, hey, hey! Get your nose back in the tofu scramble and shut the fuck up.
All right, listen.
As everyone around here can tell from our memo, we had to let Lance go.
We're the ones in charge now.
What we want to see is something on these screens.
- What did you have in mind? - I don't give a shit.
Just make it pretty and keep it going.
(PHONE RINGING) JOE: What are you guys doing? Come on.
Make it pretty, and go! - Did you find Parker? - He's not picking up his cell, but it looks like he's headed down the PCH in his pickup.
- How do you know that? - JESSE: I hacked into his iPhone.
Well, I had his password, so it wasn't that hard.
- I bet you think I'm a stalker now.
- No, I don't.
I think you're a very resourceful woman.
Cool.
Can I get another promotion if I tell you where he stops? Yes, you can, and I might even be giving you my job soon.
Couldn't do without you, Spency Spence.
- (JOE LAUGHING) - Wake up.
That happened in reality! Don't think twice You know I'm comin' for ya (PHONE RINGING) SPENCER: Siz calling.
Third time.
Avoid.
Avoid, avoid, avoid.
Like I do with Vernon and fucking Odrick and James Harrison.
Avoid him.
Siz, what's going on, brother? I'm up to my ass in acupuncture needles, and they still don't cause me as much pain as you.
So I'm assuming you heard.
Yeah.
I heard you fucked some shit up for you and your investors.
I'm one of those, too, just in case you forgot.
No, I have not forgotten.
We had a little problem with our partner because he is a self-indulgent prick and a pathological liar.
Well, that pathological liar said you cut him out of his own company.
- Where'd you hear that? - From him.
Lance called me in the middle of the night.
Your buddy Lance is calling our investors now.
I've told you he was a go-getter, right? Not that that's a good thing, but You know what I'm talking about.
(SIGHS) Siz Who the fuck buys a business and fires the CEO? It's like buying a team and cuttin' your All-Pro quarterback.
I'm the CEO now.
He left us no choice.
SIZZLE: That's bullshit.
As my girl says, you always got a choice, and she's right.
Lance is not the primary asset of Sports X.
- The talent is.
- Shit.
I got talent, too.
And my talent is my instinct for protecting my investments, and those same instincts are telling me you need to fix this shit with Lance.
It's too late.
I already made the decision.
It's in the best interests of ASM.
Well, I guess ASM ain't in my best interest.
Fuck it.
I'm out.
Sell my shares.
Cut me a cashier's check.
We done? You're the worst patient ever.
You validate? What? What? He hang up on you? He wants out.
Oh, fuck me.
(MUSIC PLAYING) There's our guy.
Yo! What up, my dudes? Where ya been, bro? We've been looking for you.
Yeah, I know.
I lost my phone in the tsunami.
What tsunami? The one tearing through Sports X.
Ah, we take it you heard from Lance.
Yeah, I know.
He left me a long, crazy-ass voicemail.
Kinda like an ex-girlfriend.
Can't underestimate that dude, though, you feel me? - Yeah.
- I'll be right back.
Just two seconds.
Listen, we got an amazing plan in place, Parker, OK? We want that to include you.
Next level shit.
Game-changing stuff, OK? Parker, you can tell by the way we handled that Coke deal, we know what's up.
Listen.
I know that we have a slightly different vibe than you and your crew, but, I mean, we can still feel you, you know? You think you can feel me, Joe? Yeah, I can absolutely feel you.
Yeah.
Then what am I feeling right now? Uh confused.
- Horny.
- Fuck.
I shoulda said "horny.
" I was gonna say it.
I was gonna say "horny.
" Parker, look man.
We wanna continue to rep you, and we're very confident that we can do a great job for you.
Man, this ain't pigskin, all right.
What makes you think you know anything about what I do? Oh, come on, man.
When those waves are firing and the energy's moving, you're out there rippin' your turns, I know everything about what you do.
Plus, I'm part Samoan.
Come on.
(CHUCKLES) This is a charming motherfucker.
Right? He's part Samoan.
- Of course he is.
- Must be somethin'.
Look.
We just want the opportunity to keep working for you, you know? Blow you the fuck up.
We're counting on that happening.
I like you guys, all right? I really do, so I'm gonna be straight up with you.
- All right, I'm not going with Lance.
- All right.
Fantastic.
But? But I'm gonna chill, go no reps for a while.
Just give us a couple months.
That's all.
Couple months.
Stop begging.
It's all good.
You change your mind, you know where to find us.
Appreciate that.
All right.
I gotta go get back to my friends.
- Go kick ass.
- JOE: Yeah.
- Yeah, so appreciate it.
- Go.
Yep.
All right, man.
- Take it easy.
- All right.
(SIGHS) Goddamn it.
I was gonna say fuckin' horny.
What He's 19.
Of course he's horny.
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING) (DOOR SHUTS) There he is.
TTD: What's up? You all right, T? Yup.
You had fun with your He-Men? Yeah, did good, man.
Got some good work in, too.
So you should do your organs a favor and put it on your to-do list.
It's on there all the way at the bottom.
Did you get any advice for your comeback? - Some.
- Like what? Punch me in the face.
What? Is it so hard to understand what I just said? I said, "Punch me in the face.
" - Nigga, you crazy.
- You think I'm joking? I'm not.
You asked me what I learned, this is what I learned.
Now punch me in the face before I beat your ass.
Don't hit me! Oh, shit.
You OK? Might be ready.
It's time to have a real conversation with Amber.
You done lost your damn mind.
Forget Amber.
You need to have a real conversation with a shrink.
You all right? Fuck.
Our lives are over.
That's a little alarmist, Joe.
Yeah, well, this ain't good, man.
I figure, best-case scenario, we sell Sports X at, what, a 7, 8 million dollar loss, right? But most likely it's just gonna bleed and bleed like a tumor hemorrhaging in my ass.
That's OK.
We got a solution for this.
We just gotta find it.
OK? (SIGHS) Lance was my contact, this was my deal, I brought him in.
I misjudged it.
I'm sorry.
Absolutely not.
This one's on me.
It's my bad, and I never should've let us get in this shit in the first place.
No, no.
No chance.
No chance.
I take full responsibility.
I had to see Lance for who he really was, not who I wanted him to be.
But it was a little hard when you're rolling at Burning Man dressed up like a fucking Martian pretending to look at art installations.
Goddamnit.
Hearing that out loud, my priorities are totally fucked.
Tell you what my old man used to tell me.
Hey, Spencer, Spencer save it, OK? Save it.
I've listened to all your stories about your old man and your brother and the I just I don't have a family.
I don't have a family.
You know, I was only child, both my parents are gone, and, to make matters worse, I killed my wife.
You did, didn't you? I was just trying to get your attention with a big headline, like you usually do "I'm an addict, I come from poverty, and my brother committed hara-kiri" Don't fucking mock my stories, man.
- I'm not.
- It's fucked up.
I'm just trying to tell you.
I'm not a former All-Pro.
I don't have 23-inch biceps and a fuckin' horse cock.
I'm just speculating.
I had this, man.
I had this.
This was my chance to be the man.
You got two things you're great at.
(SIGHS) Yeah, what's that? Fearlessness and self-awareness.
Don't overestimate me, pal.
If you like those qualities, you can have 'em at cost, - because they don't mean shit to me.
- No.
There's no need.
You've already given them to me, Joe, just by showing me the way.
You've made me aware enough to realize that I overreacted and I shouldn't have clipped Lance and I'm gonna go apologize to him.
(SIGHS) Are you fucking with me right now? I wish I was.
Have I told you lately that I love you? Every day.
Babe.
Babe.
Yo, I'm in here.
Hi, sweetie.
What are you reading? Sheryl Sandberg's "Lean in.
" I love that book.
Doubt you read it.
I haven't, but I support it, you know, women empowerment, females in the workplace, sisterhood.
Exactly.
So what's up with the Chanel box? - Oh, this? - Yeah.
Just a little something I got you.
For real? Aww.
How sweet of you, babe.
It's beautiful.
Do you like it? I'd say you shouldn't have, but you really should have, and don't think this is getting you a blowjob anytime soon, by the way.
Babe, come on.
Are you ready to admit that you were wrong? That that girl shouldn't have been on the boat? And by you staying silent, you're an enabler.
Might as well be fucking her yourself.
Whoa.
How did this become about me? Because it is.
You're complicit.
That's what you're not getting.
You're right.
I don't I didn't, but what you don't get is this is business.
Kisan's not my friend he's my client that you put on blast, and I can't even get him on the phone until you fix this.
Sheryl would understand.
She's worth a billion.
Right.
I hope you're not asking me to apologize.
Of course not.
I would never.
I want you to lie.
- Fuck you.
- Babe, just call Tiffany, tell her that you invited Tasha.
Please.
It's just business.
It's my business.
Please.
He hasn't missed a beat.
This guy's already operating at full strength.
I wish he had been like this with us in the first place.
Yeah, well, getting fired can be a great motivator.
Trust me.
I've been cut on several occasions.
Oh, I'll keep that in mind, but I like my current job.
I wanna keep it.
(SIGHS) - Hey.
What's up, guys? - Yeah, what's up? What happened to our call back, Nyjah? Aw, man.
I was out car shopping.
Car shopping? Don't you have, like, 16 cars already? Yeah, bro.
I need a yellow one.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, you do.
Fuck your cars.
NYJAH: Fuckin' bullies.
You know, that kid really can skate.
Yeah, Joe, uh, I'm getting ready to do something incredibly uncomfortable, so please don't speak.
OK.
Forgiving is living.
SPENCER: Let's do this.
Oh, no.
Oh, wow.
This is This is amazing.
I knew I'd see you guys again, but I assumed it would be in a court of law.
Yeah, well, that would make the lawyers rich.
I'd rather concentrate on making me rich.
You're rich in spirit.
Thank you, Joe.
Although, it is a little bit evil.
Now how's life at the chocolate factory without Willy Wonka? Augustus Gloop, did ya? I gotta give it you, Lance.
I'm really impressed.
You really turned it up a notch.
Shit's poppin' off here.
- People often underestimate me.
- That's why I'm here.
I wanna tell you that I've overreacted and I was wrong to assume that we didn't need you and I apologize.
I'm sorry.
Would you say that again, please? I said, "I apologize" to you.
You were wrong, weren't you? - He just said it.
Lance - It's all right.
Now, well, listen.
I'm allowed to enjoy the moment a little bit, aren't I? To bask in the vitamin D-giving rays of your apology, just for a moment to feel it? What? That makes me terrible? To put it bluntly, Lance, we can't do this without you.
I appreciate your acknowledgement, Spencer.
It's a little late, but it's a step in the right direction.
I am so impressed with this guy right here.
Constantly improving right before my very eyes.
So, um, what do you say? I mean, are you gonna come back to work with us? We'll make it fun for you.
We'll stay out of your way.
Well, that is a very nice little offer, but I think I've got an even nicer one.
- What's that? - I got new financing, as even you can surely deduce from all this bustling activity.
So how about this? I buy my company back from you at 50 cents on the dollar, and you go back to what you're good at football and finance.
Have a little moment, a tête-à -tête.
Mull it over.
Ahh.
.
JOE: So what are you thinking? As much as I hate this motherfucker, and as much as I hate telling you this right now, I think we should take the offer.
- Cut our loss.
- Losses, plural.
- Tick-tock, tick-tock, fellas.
- Remember? A lot of 'em.
This is a sunset clause.
Let's take the offer, get the fuck out of here, Joe.
Come on.
Yeah.
Listen, hey may I run point on the negotiations from here? - Take us home.
- All right.
So how about you take that offer, and you stick it straight up your fuckin' ass? That's a little reactive.
It's the only way I like to be, really.
- Fuck you.
- (LAUGHING) Fuck you.
No sale.
OK, well, you guys are making a mistake.
You know you guys have got nothing, right? You got a couple pieces of whack talent and a moderately successful surf channel.
LANCE: Without me, you got nothing.
I know, but it's what we do.
We make it work.
(LAUGHS) I am Sports X.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) See, I still love you The same way I gave adore Can't seem to run from the truth Let it all, to surround us, my love Rough day at the office? Brutal.
Mmm.
Tell me about it.
I had a client convicted of murder.
Well, guess my day wasn't so bad after all.
(SIGHS) And there's no such thing as control Lord forgive me, Lord forgive me I can't leave her