Being Erica (2009) s04e04 Episode Script

Erica: Previously on "Being Erica": Julianne: And the lucky editor who will be leading us through this sexual revolution Erica Strange.
Brent: Business is war and as you made crystal clear at the festival of authors, we are not friends.
You were looking out for numero uno, and Frank is either too naive or in the early stages of Alzheimer's not to see that.
Julianne, Erica, the boardroom.
Now.
I'm really sorry.
I was awful.
Why? You really hurt me.
Let's just leave it at that.
That was Dori from River Rock.
Your old boss, Frank Galvin, had a heart attack.
Julianne: (Singing) like a lightning bolt you're heart will blow and when it's time you'll know you just gotta ignite the light and let it shine just own the night like the Fourth of July 'cause, baby, you're a firework come on, let your colours burst make 'em go oh, oh, oh you're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe Boom, boom, boom.
Boom, boom, boom.
(cheers and applause) Erica: Look out, Katie Perry, that was amazing.
Oh you're just saying that.
Beauty, brains, and one bodacious set of pipes.
Ivan: Okay, so? Who else wants to show some talent? Adam? No, I'm contributing to your bottom line, okay? Brent? What do you say? Don't think so, dude.
Yeah so, since when do you say "dude"? Oh! Since Scott took over River Rock.
Oh, excuse me.
"The Rock" as it's now monikered.
Julianne: Wait, wait, wait He calls it "the Rock"? Yup.
Things are changing at the ol' double R.
Scott's rebranding-- It's all testosterone, all the time.
Wow, that must be a really hard adjustment.
Especially for you.
Why "especially" for me? Well (Stammering) you know, uh They kinda broke the mold when they made you, Brent.
You are very unique.
Why? Because I'm a red-blooded heterosexual and a sassy bitch? (Titters) Exactly.
Well, Brent is a trailblazer.
But now that the Rock is changing, I have to dial that blaze down.
'Scuse me.
(Applause and cheers from within "Goblins") Ivan: Well, that concludes our fun-filled evening.
Oh.
Uh Scratch that.
It seems we have one last guest.
Put your hands together for Mr.
Brent Kennedy! Brent! You signed up! You wanted to see my talent? You got it, on one condition.
What's that? Oh, Brent, what are you doing? Take my hand and watch my hips.
'Cause these hips? These hips don't lie.
(Latin music plays) Erica: We are, all of us, in the words of Katy Perry, original, unique, and one-of-a-kind.
And yet, we spend our lives twisting ourselves into knots, making ourselves smaller or larger to fit in.
At school, at work, at home, we adapt; We change.
And the truth is, that's not always a bad thing.
Or is it? (Song ends, audience applauds and cheers) Erica: Amazing! Ooh la la! It's clearer inside of me who I will always be open me up to my heart.
Feels like I'm seeing in the dark.
Waking me up to my to heart to do it all over again and again until the end.
The sum of my dreams.
And everything I ever wanted to be.
Erica: (Relaxed sigh) I could lie here all morning.
Mmm you have to get to a golf tournament.
Mmm.
Yes Yes, I do.
Did you have fun last night? - Yeah.
- Yeah, Brent, he blew me away.
I mean, I had no idea that he could dance like that.
Yeah, he's very light on his feet.
Adam, Brent's not gay.
Oh, come on.
Erica: No, I'm serious.
I saw his, uh Heterosexuality with my own eyes.
Trust me, you don't wanna know.
Anyway, back to dancing.
Brent said that learning the Salsa is actually quite easy, and everyone knows that couples should do new things together.
Yeah, the only kind of salsa I like comes in a little bowl next to your Nachos.
I guess that I will just have to work at convincing you Later.
(With a laugh) Oh (Laughs) (Golf cart whirs) Erica: I feel like a bag of cotton candy.
Well, you look like you're part of the team.
okay? And that's how you have to act if I'm gonna continue my winning streak.
You have to worry less about our clothes and more about Oh my God, what is Brent wearing? Erica: Wow.
I don't know, but it looks like he borrowed it from my dad.
- 'Sup, ladies? - Hi.
Who replaced fancy, fancy Brent with with Mike Weir? Scott Galvin: Hey, BK, we're up.
Scott: Hey.
Julianne: Hey.
I'll watch out for this one.
She spanked us good last year.
Now it's our turn.
Friedken: Yeah, let the spanking begin.
Payback is a bi-atch.
Scott: (Chuckles) Scott: Come on, Julie-Jack.
You blame us for being on the defense? Everybody wrote off 50/50 as a doomed vanity project, but here you two are, stronger than ever.
Well, we are in it to win it, Scott, and I'm not just talking golf.
Oh, I hear ya.
Credit where credit's deserved.
You've built an impressive business.
Thank you.
Might just be time to take the money and run.
Julianne: Well, if some media mogul offered us a place in the Keys and the right price Erica and Julianne: (Titter) Scott: So name it.
Erica: Oh.
Suit yourselves.
(Gruff tone) Yeah! (Whack) Wow, you almost hit that one.
(Chuckles) Don't go in the garbage.
Sebastian: Yeah, I got into the garbage on this hole one day.
Double bogey.
It's a world a hurt.
Brent: Look out, Scott, you got the bogey man on your squad.
Gonna scare away your good scores.
Okay.
(Whack) Nice.
Both: (Mock grunts) Scott: All right, BK, put it out there, buddy.
Don't over-think it.
(Whack) Boom! Oh my God, did you see that? Scott: Dude! Show me some love.
Ha! Nobody told me we're rolling with Tiger Woods today.
Sweet.
Nice hit.
(Golf carts rumble, men laugh) Brent: Here you go.
Keep the change.
Friedken: Well Look at you.
The rest of us are still out on hell's half acre, and here you are buying a round for the boys.
I am not worthy.
What're you doing? I'm worshipping at the altar of my little chameleon.
You saw the tide turning, and instead of going down with the ship, you stole a rowboat and you steered yourself towards the new world order.
So I took some golf lessons Golf lessons.
Followed by a shopping spree at? Sporting Life.
Mm.
You know, when I heard that Scott hired Sebastian.
I thought to myself: Brent's days are numbered at the Rock.
But after today? You might just make it.
Might? If you wanna survive at the Rock, you're gonna have to continue being a little less Brent and-- (cheering and laughing) A little more that.
(Beer cart rumbles away) You are not seriously taking advice from Thomas Friedken? He made some good points.
Oh, Brent, come on.
You don't even drink beer.
Ugh! (Spits) Don't some people put limes in these? Could I do that? No, it's not gonna help.
Look, Brent This isn't you.
I mean, look at you! Hey, you gotta fake it till you make it.
No, actually, you don't.
I mean, you can't.
What's your next book gonna be? "The History of the Hammer"? "Extreme Fishing: Babes, Bait, and Boats.
" Brent! It's what Scott Galvin wants and he's my boss, Erica.
Okay.
Yeah, I get it.
But, you know Pitch him something that you're passionate about that also targets men.
It's not that easy.
Oh, why not? Find Brent's version of "Babes, Bait, and Boats" and give him that.
Scott: Yo, BK! We're holding up the course.
Whoa! What the hell?! Have fun.
(Low hum of chatter, traffic rumbles) (Fountain splashes) Morning.
(Car security chirps off) (Erica screams, Adam laughs) My God, you you scared me.
What're you doing here? Well, you said you wanted to do something exciting together? - Mm-hm.
- Close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
Okay, come with me.
Erica: What is it? Adam: Keep 'em closed.
Keep 'em closed.
Almost there Okay, stop.
Open 'em.
It's a motorcycle.
Adam: Yeah.
I always wanted a bike, and I'd socked some money away, so when I saw this ad on Craigslist What, you bought it?! Yes, I did.
And for you Ta da! Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.
Adam: Come on, let me give you a ride to work.
You're in safe hands, I promise.
Adam, you like your salsa in a bowls; I like my bikes with baskets and streamers.
You think dancing is hot? You haven't seen hot.
This baby has 50 horses.
Do you know what that means? Yeah, it means it's dangerous.
I mean, they're very dangerous.
You get in one accident and you're just You're dead.
(Groans softly) Oh, I'm sorry, Adam.
It's just It's just not my kind of adventure.
Okay.
(Chatter within office) Brent: Morning, gentlemen.
Scott Galvin: BK, rocking a different look today.
Just being me, boss.
Just being me.
Scott: All right Pitches, bitches.
Who's got something so hot it sets my hair on fire?! Sebastian: Check it, big s Brent: I have something Canadian males-- What two things do they love more than anything? (Snickers knowingly) - Barbeque.
- Oh.
Stanley Cup.
So, "MVP Barbeque: Grilling with the Champs.
" Anyone smell smoke? Hmm? Because that is my hair on fire! Scott: Bedang! Sebastian: Yes! Ungh! Crushed it! Scott: (Laughs) All right, all right, let's keep this forest fire blazing.
BK? Well, with all this talk of red meat and hockey, it seems to me that were ignoring a significant group of men.
In researching this pitch, I asked myself How can we be different? How can we service men in a new way? And that's when it came to me.
Urban Peacock.
The urban peacock will be the definitive guide for straight men who want the style, the moves, and the know-how of their gay counterparts.
Think Esquire Magazine and "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" all rolled into one handy manual.
Yeah.
All right, I'm gonna jam on it, noodle it around a bit.
A'ight Yeah, who's up next? (Knocking) You got a minute? Scott, I know I was a bit off-base with my pitch, but I'm brainstorming here-- You familiar at all with the work of Clint Eastwood? I've seen "Bridges of Madison County.
" I'm thinking about "Magnum Force.
" Clint's got the line: (As Clint Eastwood) "A man's got to know his limitations.
" I'm re-branding the Rock.
Scott, please Scott: We can keep pretending that you mesh, BK, but I think it's best that we just rip the band-aid off.
Fact is that it's clear, in the long run, this Ain't gonna work.
You know, pop always appreciated what you've done for the company.
I think you'll find the severance generous.
(Tight, shaky breath) Brent: I can't believe it.
I gave years of my life to that company.
And in one afternoon, Scott ripped it all away.
Oh, honey, Scott is an ass and he's gonna regret this.
You know, Brent, she's right.
And River Rock, it's It's not the only game in town.
I just got fired from the biggest publishing house in the city.
Who's gonna want me now? Brent, it's gonna be okay.
Like Mother Superior said to Maria: "When the lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.
" Preferably from the top floor of a very tall building.
I'm not like you two; I can't open my own company.
I just wanted to keep my job.
Why did I do that? Why did I pitch something I knew, in my gut, wasn't right for Scott? (Sniffles and exhales, emotional) I'm just gonna go get some tissues.
Ugh Dr.
Tom, I am supposed to be helping people, and I just helped Brent right out of a job.
Well, why don't you tell me about J.
C.
No, look, come on, with the list.
Didn't you hear what I just said? My stupid, cliche advice-- Just be yourself-- Just got Brent fired.
I mean, I don't I don't care about J.
C.
right now.
I care about Brent.
So please send me back to yesterday, so I can keep my big mouth shut.
Brent is your patient, Erica.
Oh.
And if you wanna help him, then I suggest that you tell me about J.
C.
Okay.
Um J.
C.
Julie-Catherine from Quebec? Right! It was like this twinned exchange program thing, where Sam went to Tremblant for two weeks and we got J.
C.
And the poor thing, she just didn't fit in.
She hardly spoke any English and she dressed like a refugee from a late '80s heavy metal video.
Anyway.
One day, she cornered me for advice.
You know, she wanted help making friends and fitting in.
And I just wanted her to leave me alone, so I said the easiest thing that came to mind, you know? Just be yourself.
And because I didn't actually take the time to help J.
C.
, she kept sticking out.
And I mean, a week at that age? It's It's forever.
So when she was leaving, I gave her a hug and I said something polite like, "come back and visit.
" And she just lost it.
You know, she burst into tears and said that she would never come back, and she blamed me for trying to get rid of her, for not helping her, for the fact that It was the worst experience of her life.
I could have helped her, but I was just too caught up in my own life.
And if you could go back? Well, obviously, I I would try to help J.
C.
fit in.
I mean, you know, look.
People, they don't always like to admit it, but sometimes just "being yourself" it isn't the right thing to do.
Just ask Brent.
Well, then, go back and help J.
C.
be someone that she's not.
(Whoosh) Oh! Whoa-oa-oa-oa! Ungh! (Groans) Erica? Okay I'm okay.
It's okay, it's okay.
I'm, um I'm okay.
Judith: Uh you're not.
Your skirt.
Male student: Whoa.
.
Oh yeah Erica: Oh! (Cheering and applauding) Jenny: Oh, don't worry.
Maybe we'll get a higher price for you with all the goods on display in the window.
(Playful laughter) What're you talking about? The auction for the suicide prevention help line? "Buy a Babe.
" Best title ever! Don't you guys think it's just a little offensive? We're selling ourselves so at-risk youth don't kill themselves? Well, Erica, maybe if Kurt Cobain had someone to talk to, he wouldn't have committed suicide.
Oh my God, don't.
It's too fresh.
I'm not ready to talk about it yet.
Zach: Hey, heard you put on a peep show, Erica.
Any chance of an encore? Judith: Ah, no pay, no play, Zachary.
Keep it moving, we'll see you at the auction.
Mm-mm.
Erica: Oh my God, this is when it happens.
This is when Zach and I hook up.
Because he buys me at the auction and then we start dating.
Wow! Over-confident much? Jeez.
(Dishes clatter) Well, excusez me, monsieur! Jenny and Judith: (Laugh) So unfair.
Sam gets to spend two glorious weeks in France.
In Quebec.
You get saddled with bonhomme de loser.
Erica: You know what? She's actually really nice, and she doesn't have friends or anyone to talk to.
And I think that we should go sit with her.
What am I, like UNICEF? No.
Erica: You know, she cries in her room every night.
- Really? - Mm-hm.
I mean, she's having the worst time.
But we have the power to change that.
How? Two words: Make.
Over.
(Gasps) Oh my God, like on Ricki Lake? Totally like on Ricki Lake.
So I'll meet you guys upstairs in five minutes, okay? We're gonna need clothes, we're gonna makeup, - and hair product.
- On it, on it, and on it.
Judith and Jenny: (Excited squeals) Woo! Yeah! Erica: Hey, J.
C.
Erica, hi.
You know what? What do you Say you and me spend some girl-time together? Okay.
Heh.
What are we doing? ("Girls and Boys" by Blur plays) (Girls laugh and chatter) Street's like a jungle Judith: Your hair is so beautiful.
so call the police following the herd down to Greece Girls: Oh! on holiday love in the 90's Judith: Damn! Jenny: I like it a lot! Jenny: See, sometimes, I feel like we're here.
Voulez Rouge! Jenny: Oh perfect! Let's go! take your chances looking for girls who are boys who like boys to be girls who do boys like they're girls Sha-wing! Zach: Yo, yo, ladies.
French girl's rockin' a new look.
Brian: I like.
I like a lot.
Party on, dudes! Girls: (Titter) Brian: Yeah, all right, okay.
Zach: Oh, hey, Erica, don't worry, I still got 30 bucks with your name on it, right here.
(Laughing) Lucky me! Jenny: My God, Brian cannot keep his eyes off you.
You should totally join the babe auction! Judith: Oh yeah, such a good idea.
Erica: You know, it could be fun and a great way for you to meet people.
Okay, I will join this.
Oh! Great! Judith: Our next babe is the beautiful Jennifer Zahlen, everybody.
Guys: (Cheers and ) Judith: Jenny loves going to the movies at the uptown, is a huge Ace of Base fan, and her claim to fame is she appeared in an episode of Degrassi High, everybody.
(Cheers and applause) Judith: Our next babe, Erica, is a natural redhead.
Fire above, fire below.
(Guys laugh) Judith: And she likes reading, spending her summers at Camp Tamawka, and one day she hopes to write something as beautiful as "Clan of the Cave Bear.
" Really? We'll start the bidding off $10 dollars.
Agh! $30 dollars! Sold! Zach Creed.
(Zach laughs, guys applaud) Judith: Erica Strange, sold for $30 dollars.
Thank you.
Sold for $7 dollars.
(Applause) Judith: And now for our last Buy-a-Babe babe, our Bella from the Belle Provence, J.
C.
Page.
Jenny and Erica: (Cheer and applaud) Guys: Yeeeaaah! (Cheering) Judith: J.
C.
Loves horseback riding, and one day she hopes to attend clown school.
We'll start the bidding off at five dollars.
Brian: Ten! Judith: Ten.
Do I hear fifteen? Thirty.
Judith: Thirty.
Thirty-five? Student: Over here.
Right here.
Judith: Forty? Student: Oh! Judith: Fifty? One hundred big ones, right here! Students: Whoa! (Shocked gasps) Judith: Sold for $100 dollars.
Woo! Yeah! Students: (Applauding and cheering) (Students chatter) Jenny: Oh my God, that is hi-larious.
Erica: That is so so not right.
Zach: Jenny, Judith, check this out.
Who am I? Goo-goo gah-gah, Erica Strange.
Oh, oh, she's Princess Leia and you're the fat green guy, Jabba the Hut! Erica: Zach! No.
Okay, Erica Strange-ly boring.
If you don't, uh, I don't know, start to be more fun, I am gonna exchange you.
Yeah, couple minor niners.
Brian: Yo, Zack's babe, hey, we still on for tonight? On for? Movie night at your place? Right, right.
Yeah! Yeah, we're still on.
I can't wait.
Here, Zach's babe, why don't you take my babe home and get her ready for tonight.
Our Masters are waiting.
we'll be by around seven.
- Okay? - Okay.
Bye.
J.
C.
: This the most fun I did since I arrived! And maybe after tonight I will have a boyfriend! Oh! J.
C.
, I'm so glad that you're happy, but you just have to remember that it's a joke.
Like a a game.
You don't really have to do what he says.
I know, it's just fun.
You're the best big sister I ever had.
Thank you, bye.
Okay, bye.
Ugh! (Movie character growls) (Clears throat) Oh Zach.
Stop that.
Oh, you know, Brian, if, uh If you're gonna smoke in here, we should like probably open a window.
Erica, would you just chill out?! It's just gonna like reek in here.
Zach: Yeah, we'll hotbox the house.
Right? That'd be awesome.
Jenny: Hey, J.
C.
, have you ever smoked before? One time.
Euh, I cough a lot.
Oh You know, J.
C.
, I'm not gonna partake tonight and you don't have to either.
Hey, if you want, I can teach you how to do it so you don't cough.
Okay.
Brian: Take a small puff, 'kay, and open your mouth, let some cooler air in.
'Kay? And then hold it and (Exhales) Exhale.
(J.
C.
Coughs, Jenny laughs) Jenny: Wooo! Brian: See? Thank you, Brian.
Master Brian.
Master Brian.
Jenny: Oh! I love you so much, girl! - Whoa.
- So much.
Mmm! Oh, easy there, tiger.
(Titters and gasps) I know! Let's order pizza.
I'm hungry, are you hungry? No.
Judith: Oh yeah, someone's got the munchies.
Brian: Hey, J.
C.
, you want the last drag? Erica, she's fine, okay? I mean My God, you're like completely obsessed with her.
Well, she goes from friendship bracelets to high as a kite in one day? I don't think that we're doing her any favours.
Okay, don't be a dork.
Yesterday she was crying in her room, and today she's, uh She's happy! She's unrecognizable.
Oh man, she's cool.
I mean, she's gonna go back to Quebec a total happy camper, right? Right.
Yeah.
Jenny: Ooh! Pinot Grigio! Erica: Oh, Jenny! That's my mom's.
Hey, I got some beer in my van if you wanna come get-- (laughs) Wait a minute, why am I asking? You have to do everything I say, right? (Half laughs) Right.
(Giggles) (Gasps) (Handle clicks, door rumbles along track) Oh! Brian: Be it ever so humble.
It's nice.
I like it.
Well, you have to.
(Exhales, relaxed) I own you till midnight.
Now, why don't you come give master Brian a little frenchie kiss.
(A little nervous) Okay.
(Titters) Come on, you can do better than that.
Hey, relax.
I think we should go back inside.
Okay? Okay.
Okay.
Oh, hey.
Jenny, have you seen J.
C.
? Oh my God, Erica, these taste like actual dill pickles.
You want? No, thank you.
Hey, that took you guys a while.
Hey, Zach, let's smoke another fattie.
(Front door closes) J.
C.
: (Crying) Erica: Hey, J.
C.
Is everything okay? (Sobs) I wanna go home.
Hey.
What's wrong? (Crying) Did something happen with Brian? We did some stuff.
I let him And I didn't want to, and I did and I Okay, look, just Just slow down, okay? Tomorrow? You're gonna go back to being you.
Okay? You're gonna put your J.
C.
clothes on-- No, that's not what I'm saying.
Okay.
It's everything else-- getting high and And Brian and Oh, you probably think I'm so sensitive.
No, I don't.
Not at all.
I think that even though you're way younger than me I'm only one year younger than you.
You're actually a lot smarter than I was-- Than I am.
(Takes a deep breath) (Clears throat) I tell you what.
You keep the hair and the clothes, and why don't we go back in there, watch a bad movie, we'll hang out, we'll tell Brian to get a new babe.
Okay.
Yeah.
And we'll just have fun.
How's that sound? Okay.
On y va.
Julianne: Oh, Brent, if that's what you feel you need to do then Of course, I am 100 per cent behind you.
Thank you, Jules.
behind you doing what? Begging for my job back.
I need to talk the talk and walk the walk, convince Scott that I can do this-- Chinos, beer, ultimate fighting.
I will out-guy every guy in that office.
Brent, just hang on.
You know, you can do that if you feel that you should.
But just don't go too far, okay? Just stay you.
I have a mortgage and bills, and the Rock is my home.
I don't care anymore.
I'm gonna do whatever it takes.
It gotta admit, BK, takes a lot of courage to come down here and admit your mistakes like you have today.
You've shown me something that you've never shown me before; That you got a pair of balls on you, dude! Should've shown you my balls a long time ago! Now, the thing is, what I'm doing here, it's about more than just books.
It's about building a an empire.
I am down for whatever, boss.
You see, sea bass here used to work at Cresthill Press.
And he told me about their weaknesses, and, well, I'm about to close that deal.
You're buying Cresthill Press.
As an appetizer.
I'm targeting all the small independents.
Panda, Briar Park, Erica said 50/50 wasn't for sale.
More than one way to skin a cat.
And if they don't sell to us, then we'll just bankrupt them.
And I know that you're in good with Erica and Julianne.
What're you asking me to do? I want you to track every deal that 50/50 has in the works, go in and bid higher.
I don't care if we lose money.
But we're taking them down one way or another.
I don't know if I BK! Oh BK.
If you want to run with the lions, hm? You can't be friends with the antelopes.
I know that you've done this kind of thing before.
Excellente.
I respect the courage it takes to come in here and fight for your job.
Now I wanna see your loyalty.
Hey there! Hey.
Adam: I brought you some dinner.
- Sushi? - Chinese.
Well I, um I brought you something too.
Adam: What is this? Erica: I don't know.
You tell me.
You look hot.
Adam: Yeah? Good.
'Cause I am never taking this off.
(Laughs) Thank you.
You're welcome.
I love it.
Oh, I was so bummed out this morning, thinking that you wouldn't come round about the bike and So why don't we go for a ride before dinner? I'll go really slowly and I'll take the side roads.
I promise, you'll be totally safe.
Adam, actually What? Look, I mean, I get it.
Guys, they like motorcycles.
It's in your DNA-- You know, the danger and the adrenaline surge.
But can't you just look the part instead? (Scoffs) Look the part? (Chuckles) That makes me sound crazy, doesn't it? Yeah.
Okay, well, call me crazy, or overprotective, or whatever you're gonna accuse me of, but, Adam, when you're on a bike, there's nothing between you and the other cars.
There's nothing between you and the road! Which is the point! It's a rush, Erica.
You wanted exciting.
Riding a bike is about as exciting as it gets.
Even if it lands you in the hospital? Well, if that happens, it happens.
Wow! I think that that's the stupidest thing that you've ever said to me.
- Really? - Really.
Is it more stupid than you buying me some leather jacket and expecting me to sit in your apartment and play dress-up? (Sighs) Look, some of the guys are going for a drink after work.
I think I'll just go join 'em.
Okay.
Do whatever you have to do.
Okay.
(Apartment door opens and closes) (Exasperated sigh) Trouble in paradise? (Annoyed sigh) Why do guys have to be Guys? You know? 'Cause I swear that every problem in this world, it goes back to testosterone.
Takes two to Salsa.
You could put on that helmet and buy a leather jacket.
You said it yourself, the ability to adapt is useful.
(Sighs) Well, obviously, you know, what do I know if the way that I handled Brent and J.
C.
is any indication? Mm, I think you're being too hard on yourself.
- Really? - Yup.
Because I didn't help Brent at all.
And I didn't do J.
C.
any favours either.
I mean, I told Brent to be himself and it got him fired.
I told J.
C.
to be someone else and then she had a breakdown in my kitchen.
The answer, Erica, is there's no right answer.
There is no absolute in this case.
It's a question of finding the balance.
What doesn't bend, breaks, right? - Mm-hm.
- I mean, you need to bend, in order to survive in the world.
Conversely, you bend too far (Chopstick snaps) So how do you know how far to bend? Well, that's the million-dollar question, isn't it? And the answer is it's different for everyone.
And the trick is, knowing when to bend and when not to.
Well, I think that you should compromise.
Like a man who won't take Salsa lessons for his girlfriend.
Or a girlfriend who won't get on the back of a motorcycle for fun.
Point taken.
(Sighs, exhausted) Men: (Rowdy shouts) Oh no! Whoa! Oh no! Whoa! Lucky! You're lucky.
(Laughing) (Overlapping chatter) All me, all right.
Sebastian: Just cause you're my boss, don't think I won't kick your ass.
Scott: Come on! Come on! Agh! Whoa! Ha ha ha! Wooo! (Grunting) Come on, come on.
Whattaya got? Whattaya got? Whattaya got? Whattaya got? Hey, BK, what's up? Thank you for the opportunity, Scott.
After all that, eh? Thing is, it turns out I'm not a lion.
I can dress like a lion.
I can learn to play foosball and golf.
But I don't think I like the way the games around here are being played.
Mm.
Good luck, Brent.
You too.
(Elevator dings open) Me? Erica: Why not you? You're smart, you're talented, you've got an incredible eye for books.
And you feel you could trust me, after everything that I did to you last year? Erica: Well, the boundaries would have to be perfectly clear-- You would be working for us.
Well, it seems you have more faith in me than I probably deserve.
You're an excellent editor, Brent, with marketable ideas.
Erica: And you didn't have to tell us about Scott's evil offer.
So yeah, we have faith in you.
And if the best defense is a strong offense, we want you fighting on our team.
So, what do you say? I will accept with unseemly glee and promise to bring some sparkle to 50/50.
Aw! So, should we shake on it? (Rowdy shouting and laughter) (Vehicle engine rumbles) (Sighs) Hey.
Hi.
I'm sorry for walking out.
I'm sorry too.
Buying you a leather jacket and expecting that to replace this was ridiculous of me.
No, what was ridiculous was me spending all my money on a bike that probably needs a new gear box.
(Inhales through her teeth) Ouch! If I get on that bike, you have to promise me something Anything.
No highways and no bad weather, and none of that swerving in and out of cars thing.
Deal.
Okay.
Okay.
What the hell.
Erica: What are you doing? Adam: Just What? Go with it.
(Laughs) Oh, sorry.
It's okay.
This isn't even Salsa music.
Well, then, teach me one of the other dances that you wanna learn, like Ballroom or "Meringue".
Uh, it's Merengue.
See, meringue is a dessert.
- Shut up and dance.
- I'm just saying.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry.
- It's okay, I have nine more.
We will always be best friends and yeah, you will see me ah ah-ah! Again and again and again la la-dee da da Oh, we will always be best friends.
And yeah, you will see me again and again (La-dee la la)