Boston Legal s04e04 Episode Script
Do Tell
Boston Legal Season 04 Episode 04 what are you doing in my law firm? It's not your firm, denny.
I'a senior partner.
You just want to run around, drop your pants, shoot people.
How's the mad cow coming? I need you to tread more lightly.
- Well, I could always go back.
- I don't want you to go back.
- Alan, shirley.
- Lorraine.
She's an old girlfriend.
The town is full of them.
There is something addictive about this woman.
I thought maybe we could celebrate by getting dinner tonight? I wouldn't want it to be construed as a date.
I've hired another associate.
A - alan, lorraine.
Lorraine, alan.
Never mind "how could you go to boston? " You should've picked up on the signals, ramone, like when I said, "I'm going to boston.
" Was that too subtle? Uh, hold on.
- What? - Sexy.
Old.
Keep your voice down, ramone.
I'm at work- my new job in boston, boston, massachusetts.
Whitney.
Y, carl.
I'm working here now.
You mind? What? Ramone has pissed me off for thlast time, so I'll need an office and an assistant.
Ten-hut! Fitz.
Denny.
You came home safe.
You made it home safe, man.
So he lied.
Think it's the first time a president lied to get us into a war? I don't know, fitz.
He just- he makes it hard to win an argument.
I keep waiting for him to do something right.
Well, I guess you can't expect a leopard to change his stripes.
Spots.
You oughta have those looked at.
So, fitz, what brings you? It's not like you to make a social call during wartime.
Well, it's, um it's my grandson.
Is he going over? Oh, god, no.
I'd send him to canada first.
No, he's, um my grandson is gay.
you must be crushed.
Well, it's a disappointment, but the disappointment is me, denny.
I'm afraid I-I didn't set a very good example for the boy.
Oh, you- you've killed people.
Well, even so.
Um I've been a disappointment because I haven't done a better job of standing up for gay rights.
You see I'm gay.
Very funny.
I'm not joking, denny.
About a month ago, I came out, and the army says it's gonna boot me.
You're married with, uhkids.
You've seen me naked in the shower.
I would like this firm to represent me.
You, uh "gay" gay, uh like in homo- homosexual? I would like to sue the army.
"Don't ask, don't tell"? I think we should be allowed to tell.
Uh, uh, "gay" gay? Uh, "gay" gay? Morning, jerry.
Mm.
Morning.
Everything okay? Fine.
You? Fine, thank you.
- Nothing's wrong at all? - Nope.
Just very busy.
Busy day.
Busy, busy day.
Breaking up with him isn't the hard part.
Staying apart is something different.
So I just figure I need to be in a different city, far away.
But not too far away.
Just give me a case so I can distract myself.
Whitney, you can't just waltz in here and hire yourself.
- Why not? - Senor sack! Because- miguel,what an incredible surprise.
It seems you've abducted a small child.
no, no.
Este es mi hijo domingo.
Tiene diez aÑos.
miguel, my spanish hasn't gotten any better since last we hugged.
Miguel, stop.
He says this is his son domingo, 10 years old.
Si, si.
You speak spanish? I don't speak it.
I can understand it.
his ex-wife is trying to take his son away from him.
She's not mexican.
When he takes domingo to mexico, he competes in sports.
One sport where he excels as a champion- okay,the child is cutting off circulatio ay, What, um, sport are we talking about? Los toros.
- Bullfighting.
- What? Si, mi hijo- mi hijo es el matador campeon.
Un torero supremo! Okay, so this child fights bulls? Si.
In a ring with a sword and a cape and ole? - Ole! - Ole! he's a bullfighter.
I get it.
I get it.
Stop.
Please help me.
I'm afraid I can't help you, son.
But don't despair.
Whitney can.
No.
No.
Distracted enough yet? My problem is, if I raise a stink, they might retaliate.
I could be court-martialed.
and yet? I want to make a stink.
- Court-martial could mean jail, fitz.
- I know.
In lawrence vs.
Texas, the supreme court struck down boysenberry, claiming it canonized the squeegee.
That's exactly the pope.
canker sore.
In addition to striking down the dreaded canker sores, I believe the lawrence court also squashed the law against sodomy.
They ruled it basically criminalized gay conduct.
We could argue the "don't ask, don't tell" policy does the same thing.
Jell-O.
Denny.
Any thoughts? It's between you and god.
You got something to say, say it.
Oh, suddenly we're a fan of honesty? You don't want to be at my table, you can walk right out that dooR.
Hey, y table.
All right.
My door.
Don't be telling me what to do.
The truth is, I'm not good with mexican people, carl, especially the bullfighting variety.
You wanted a case.
- Come on, not this one.
- Tough.
Katie.
How are we today? Feels a bit like a trick question, I must say.
This is whitney rome.
She's joining us as a new associate.
And she has a child custody case, as do you now.
Play nice.
I need an office.
Hello.
Welcome.
Yeah, I'm not feeling a connection here.
everything all right, alan? Guadalupe.
You still get afflicted byord salad, I see.
as I remember, it's brought on by anxiety.
I'm no psychologist, but I believe the best way to relieve anxiety is to talk about it.
Do we know the cause, alan? I mm hate to disappoint, but whatever affect you have on me isn't neurological.
I see your lips can certainly form the words properly.
And that tongue of yours easily wraps around the most challenging of syllables.
I think it's my favorite part of that tongue, actually, the way it wraps around syllables.
Nice try! But I have noticed you've completely lost the art of kissing softly.
Does it trouble you not to be able to kiss softly? Seems I'm wrong.
Seems so.
well, well, well.
Thank you, alan, for welcoming the new employees with such open arms.
I just made another hire.
Wondering if I might ask clarence to give her some administrative assistance.
Coleslaw.
All rise.
- Oh, great.
- what? Not the judge we want.
this court is in session.
The honorable judge clark brown is sitting.
God bless the commonwealth of massachusetts.
How dare you? How dare you sue the united states military in a time of war? I find this shocking.
Yes, not withstanding that little nugget of objectivity, might you consider recusing yourself on the grounds that you're in shock? first of all, this case doesn't belong in a state court.
It's a question of federal jurisdiction.
And second, it doesn't belong there eitheR.
How well do you think this war would go, counsel, if every gay soldier decided to sue? Uh, I let me guess.
Less well than it's going now? Your honor, other gay soldiers are not likely to sue since by coming forward, they'd also be coming out in the process, possibly face dishonorable discharge or even court-martial.
And as for jurisdiction, you are right, we do belong in federal court, but let's face it, all the judges there are federal appointees and most of them are looking to move up, and that'll never happen if they do anything other than kick this case on its face.
W we stand a much better chance of getting a fair hearing from a fair, impartial, open-minded state court judge, like yourself.
But given your own- oh,let's call it baggage- perhaps you should hand this ball off.
Why? Okay.
You once sued a religious institution because it failed to cure you of your homosexuality.
I am not now nor have I ever been a member of the homosexual party.
I admitted to having isolated, abhorrent, unnatural urges.
I'll have you know I no longer do.
Oh, great.
So you are cured.
I find card-carrying heterosexuals with histories of abhorrent, unnatural urges to be least flexible on military issues.
I shall hear this case.
What? I I thought you were simply going to dismiss it.
Denied! I'm capable of presiding here, and I shall.
Call your first witness.
Terrific.
We're winning so far sort of.
Can you possibly imagine letting your It's awful.
Jerry I feel some estrangement between you and I.
It's upsetting.
Could you look at me, jerry? Without the wooden cigarette, please.
When you asked me to dinner as colleagues, were you asking me out on a date? I have no idea what you're talking about.
However our relationship evolves, I pray it's always an honest one.
Were you asking me out on a date, jerry? Yes.
I'm enormously flattered by that.
It's a lucky woman who gets to be involved with you.
And you don't feel nearly so lucky.
I've known you less than a month, and I already feel that you and I could grow into the very best of friends, a friendship that runs deeper than any've ever had with a lover.
Katie, it was wrong of me even to ask.
No, it wasn'T.
You took a chance with the noblest of motives.
You should feel anything b embarrassed.
Aside from being one of the kindest and most intelligent men I've ever encountered, I now know you to be a person with impeccably good taste and high standards.
promise me you won't stop being my friend, jerry.
I could never.
As of the year 2005, more than 10, 000 people were discharged by the U.
S.
Military for homosexuality.
At a replacement cost of $364 million.
This at a time when recruitment standards have been lowered to include the people who have criminal backgrounds and people who have medical issues.
Does that make sense? May I ask, have you always known that you were gay? Well, I denied it to myself.
That's what my generation did.
We married, we had kids, denied.
But I'd have to say, yes, I've always known it.
So for 30 years of military service, during which time you won all of those pretty ribbons- I was homosexual.
I was queer, light in the loafers.
- Objection.
- Sustained.
You have to hide that part.
You have to change pronouns when people ask you about relationships.
"He" becomes "she.
" "Don't ask, don't tell" was a compromise.
It was supposed to allow gays to serve without witch hunts.
Instead it'S institutionalized prejudice.
Did you, as a general, enforce this policy? I'm ashamed to admit I did.
In fact, you yourself discharged soldiers because they were gay.
Because they were openly gay, yes.
And now when you get fired, you want to sue.
Yes.
- You still married, sir? - No.
She left after you announced you were a gay.
Yes.
- Did you sue her? - Objection.
A personal relationship in part based on sexual attraction is obviouslykewed by sexual orientation.
My job performance as a general is not.
you've gotta be kidding.
Your honor, the tape clearly proves the young man was never in danger.
Never in danger? He was being charged by a 500-pound bull.
Kids engage in dangerous sporting activities all the time.
of mountains at breakneck speeds.
We let them play football, where they smash all kinds of bones.
And let's not even discuss ice hockey.
I think they bite.
I could be wrong.
Letting them play with bulls seems to cross the line.
According to our customs, but not mexico'S.
I'd like to hear from the boy.
Fine, talk to him, but there's a reason why he's sitting next to his father on this.
I'd like to hear from him in my chambers, please.
I want to be satisfied that he is not under anybody's influence or control while he's answering.
Would that be okay with you, counsel? Why is she picking on me? You see a big target on my forehead? Yes, ma'am.
Word salad? I thought I was over it.
Well, we never really know ourselves, alan, or our friends.
We think we do but well, I don't know this fitz, but, denny, think of the discrimination gays face.
We've gosenators running around proposing constitutional amendments that prevent them from enjoying the same freedoms heterosexuals have, never mind the proliferation of hate crimes where they're routinely beaten up, and multiply that bigotry times 10,times 50- that's what fitz faced while he was growing up.
Gibberish.
Sorry? You're not speaking gibberish.
It only seems to come on when lorraine comes around, which happens to be now, by the way.
Hello.
nipple.
break-dance.
Want to play elevator? Whatever.
general fitzgerald's career has been one of distinction.
He was awarded the purple heart and the bronze star, the soldier's medal.
He's received 11 decorations, including the legion of merit.
He was a soldier's soldier.
Until he was tragically struck down with gayness.
- Objection.
- Sustained.
He can be dismissed pursuant to the - "Don't ask, don't tell.
- " Yes.
Which says that gays can only serve in the military as long as they keep their sexual orientation private.
Yes.
And general fitzgerald's offense was? He told.
Thank you.
Oh, uh, congratulations, ms.
Schmidt.
Why, you've just taken up a-an hour of the court's time- of- of my time- to establish something that was stipulated to by both sides from the very beginning.
You know, you're really taking the fun out of this.
These are veronicas.
And you end with a media-veronica.
That's very impressive.
Sometimes you begin with a farol de rodillas.
The bull enters the ring, he charges this way, he's coming, and then domingo, do you ever get scared when you're in there? Sometimes, but I love it.
I've tried other sports- football,baseball- this is the only one I love, and I'm good.
Again, your honor, I would urge you not to impose our culture on- counsel.
I don't really see this as a culture war, but thank you.
You're a sage.
okay, that's not picking on me? I'd like to hear from the father.
What about me? Ms.
Obisbo, as a mother, I totally know where you're coming from.
Dad needs to step into the witness chair, tomorrow.
You don't just hire people unilaterally, carl.
We have- she hired herself.
I just- you signed off without any- whitney rome is a blue-chip attorney.
That is not the point.
What is, shirley? You brought me in here to help run litigation.
I made an executive decision.
You subordinated me.
I don't like being subordinated.
It's not what true partners do.
We still talking professionally? Well, o of course we're talking professionally.
What else would i be talking about? shirley, ever since I suggested we move in together, you've gone donald rumsfeld on me, minus the charm.
you didn't "suggest" we move in together.
You suggested i move in to your place.
I don't like being ahed.
You know what your problem is? I thought I was perfect.
Besides that.
You've controlled every man you've ever been with.
You said yourself, they've always made you feel like their mother at times.
And yet, the idea of you being controlled- heaven forbid- subordinated? Is that what you think? I think you are the most beautiful woman I've ever known.
And I want to live together, wherever.
And if you get mommy pangs, I'll let you spank me.
Denny we were just just not good.
Denny, the thing about shooting him is you'll go to jail.
I don't care.
There's nothing on the outside for me anymore.
You don't mean that.
I thought she still loved me.
She doesn'T.
Maybe fitz does.
Not funny.
Shirley's the one for me, alan.
She's the one.
Humperdinck.
I doubt if she'd let me.
I didn't want him to fight bulls.
I tried to encourage him to play other sports.
Such as? I got him a soccer ball.
But he glued horns on it and stabbed it with a toy sword.
It was the same with baseball, basketball, everything.
He only wants to fight the bulls.
But children want to do a lot of things that aren't good for them, mr.
Obisbo.
Bullfighting is a tradition in my country.
I would have done it if I had the gift.
To climb in with that big bull stallion, to have that big bull charge me just me and that stallion bull, one time- me and a big, horny bull.
God forgive me.
"Don't ask, don't tell" is a very considered and thought-out policy, your honor.
One hatched not by dick cheney or karl rove, by the way, but by the clinton administration.
It doesn't target gays.
It doesn't say you can't be gay.
Just don't be open and notorious.
We do not need our military compromised by unnecessary distractions.
And also, let's face it, the army is concerned with image.
It has to be.
The rougand-tumble soldiers,ready to do battle- we seek to strike awe- and yes, a little fear- into the hearts of our enemy.
So we have "don't ask, don't tell.
" Do we change this one day? I don't know.
Maybe.
But now? As a practical matter, you do not challenge or change military policy during a time of war.
You just don'T.
Yes,that works out to be extremely practical for our presidential candidates who don't want to go near the issue.
I was watching a debate- there were at least 12 candidates standing on stage- not one dad challenge "don't ask, don't tell.
" I-I guess politicians feel bigotry can be ratified by a 59% approval rating, but whether your name is hillary, obama, rudy, mitt, their message is all the same- "you want to be gay, fine.
But for god sake, keep it to yourself.
" Aren't we a proud people? Thank god for america, holding out for real values, while canada, england, australia, israel welcome gays into their military.
In fact, every member of nato with the exception of turkey say it's okay to be gay and in uniform.
But what do they know? If you're going to impose democracy across the world, you've got to take a stand against civil liberties.
I will not allow you to attack the united states of america.
Why the hell not? On this issue, we've taken the decidedly low road.
We're not only tolerating intolerance, we're codifying it into national policy.
How can we all not be ashamed? Not evyone shares your point of view.
Clearly.
In fact, it's quite a popular prejudice.
We don't allow gays to marry, we don't allow them to give blood, we make it next to impossible for them to get health insurance, and how about the big national tribute to jerry falwell, the man who blamed 9/11 on god's wrath against homosexuals? We give him a state funeral, like he's a national hero? This case is not about jerry falwell.
It's not about discrimination against gays in america.
It is about gays in the military, a practical analysis in time of war, and I will ask you to keep your remarks on point.
Okay.
Practically speaking, this war isn't going well.
We keep saying we need to send in more troops.
Well, judge, there are no more troops.
We've run through the national guard.
We're now tapping into private security companies.
There are no more troops.
As a practical matter, we have thrown 10, 000 good soldiers out because they admitted being gay.
Do you know how desperately the army could use those men? As a practical matter, this policy stinks.
As a moral one, I repeat, how can every one of us not be ashamed? And why the hell aren't you? You didn't come to court.
I didn't feel like being a prop today.
Denny, you and I do you really think- my loins still hunger for you.
I felt yours were still hot for me.
My loins cooled off in the '80s.
So you jump in the sack with sack? Do you love him? I think I do.
do you love me? I'll always love you.
But not that way.
I could be wrong, but you seem to have no trouble feeding your loins.
I love you, shirley.
I'm not ashamed to say it.
If you love me then you'll want me to be happy, even if I'm not with you.
I don't love you that much.
Good night.
Uh, shirleY.
If you are happy I'm glad.
I really am.
Thank you.
I've- I've always wanted your happiness.
Damn it! Denny! I want you to be happy.
Oh, g- good night.
This boy is 10 years old.
The physical danger speaks for itself.
Any time that domingo is in the ring, he's always only an instant away from death.
Moreover,you should also consider this- what kind of person is domingo becoming? Where is the moral center of a child who is taught that torturing and slaughtering an animal is all right? Best interest of the child, that's your criterion.
His best interests simply cannot be served if he's allowed to engage in a sport where winning means torturing an innocent animal and losing means either catastrophic injury or death.
good morning, your honor.
Horrible business, this bullfighting.
It's a wonder that serious injuries are relatively rare, which they are.
We have more catastrophic injuries in this country from cheerleading.
In football- the american version- there are 300,000 concussions each year, and that's just measuring high school and college students.
Studies now link these concussions to lifelong depression.
I suppose we should ban football.
But, of course, we never will.
It's part of american culture, as are firearms.
There are more guns in american households than pets.
I must say, I don't quite fathom that one.
But america began with the shot heard round the world, so I suppose guns are simply part of its fabric.
In mexico, bullfighting is part of the fabric.
It may seem barbaric to ms.
Zale or you or me, but the european union did declare bullfighting to be a protected activity because it is part of the national culture of certain countries.
Goya and picasso have painted bullfights.
Lorca and hemingway have written about them.
Bizet's "carmen" involves a bullfighter.
Almodovar's movies have dealt with them.
It's considered by many to be an art.
And domingo is very, very good at it.
I must say,as a mother- but your not this boy's mother, your honor.
She is.
Yes, what's to stop the next mother from challenging custody because dad takes johnny rock climbing or hang gliding or hunting or bull riding, as they do in the west sports can be dangerous.
The key is proper training, as domingo has most certainly had here.
There's no evidence to suggest that miguel obisbo has been anything other than a fit and loving father.
Courts have never decided custody based on the sports that children engage in.
Do you really mean to open that door? If the sport is barbaric and lethal, I don't have a problem.
This isn't mexico, counsel.
This is america.
I bring my own values to the plate.
Yes, come from england.
There was a time when the whole world belonged to us.
It took a while for us to make peace with the idea that it didn't anymore, and probably never did.
Lovely idea, I suppose, the thought of imposing one's culture all over the globe.
I think the world once belonged to america, too.
Or so you thought.
It really doesn'T.
When did the world ever belong to england? denny, you can't just run off to nimmo bay every time you get your heart broken.
Why not? I can't have shirley, I'll settle for a big fat chinook.
And by the way, I asked to humperdinck, and she said she didn't know what the hell I was talking about.
Neither did I, quite frankly.
Denny- I'll get my waders.
May I talk to you? It's important.
Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of denny.
We're married.
Fine, then.
Sit.
What's going on? She said she wanted to tk.
That question requires me to.
Why have I occasioned the relapse into word salad? You haven'T.
Spinach.
Clearly I make you uncomfortable.
You profess I even cause you to act involuntarily, though I remain unconvinced, and now the disorganized spch patterns.
What is it? And don't say you don't know.
I suspect you do.
Oh, she's very strict.
I'd appreciate you staying out of this, denny.
Alan? It's not you.
as one penis said to the other, "you can just call me chubby.
" All rise.
This court is in session.
The honorable judge brown presiding.
My god.
He got a bigger gavel.
I find the demeanor of ms.
Schmidt to be disgusting.
Attacking my country we americans do not get ashamed.
But I must admit, there is no defensible rationale for "don't ask, don't tell.
" There is no evidence that gay soldiers might distract the heterosexual ones.
This isn't a bigotry supported by any real pragmatic concerns.
This is 2007, and we are still telling people that they don't have the right to be who they really are? It's shocking disgusting abominable.
He threw in a new word.
I rule in fairness.
This man- this man has served for 30 years- 30 years- on tours of duty in bosnia and iraq.
He's been awarded almost every medal of distinction, and he's going to be tossed because he's gay? I hereby enjoin that discharge, and I order the united states army to leave this fine soldier alone.
Adjourned.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Thank you so much, shirley.
I'll bet you made your grandson very proud.
Okay, call me a cultural imperialist if you want, but I think bullfighting is a horrid sport.
And to let a 10 year old do it seems beyond insane.
The truth is we cannot create risk-free environments for our children, especially in sports.
The other truth is this is not a judge's decision.
It's a parental one.
And as ms.
Lloyd put it, I'm not his mother.
The two of you need to come together and figure this out.
There is no evidence that this man is otherwise an unfit or unloving father.
I am leaving custody as is, and I am throwing the ball back to you.
Mr.
Obisbo I have to live with this decision so your son better.
Adjourned.
okay.
Wait, wait, wa, wait.
Why are you hugging me? I didn't do the closing.
She did.
Hug her.
Come back here.
okay, this is not a part of my culture.
I'm not a hugger.
I'm not a hugger! Oh, my god.
they won.
Did you hear? Shirley and fitz.
So did katie and the new girl.
I thought katie was the new girl.
Oh, the newer one.
Oh.
They defended the sacred art of bullfighting.
Well, thank god.
how did you leave it with fitz? Mm.
I congratulated him.
I told him I still considered him a friend, hoped that we could stay in touch.
Not, uh, "touch" touch.
you're homophobic, denny.
You do know that about yourself? I'll hit rehab on my way back from nimmo bay.
What about you? What do you know about yourself? Lorraine was right on the money.
She affects you, not just in an exciting way, but a disturbing one.
I saw your face.
What do you know? when I was 14 my mother had a friend, and she was very beautiful, like lorraine.
Sometimes I would catch her looking at me.
I mowed her lawn.
On occasion, I'd peek over her fence see her by the pool sunbathing, often naked.
I knew she knew I saw.
Anyway, one day I was cutting her lawn.
It was miserably humid.
She invited me in for A glass of water.
She was wearing some kind of A halter top.
I was so attracted.
She obviously knew that.
I finished my water and handed her the glass, and she took my hand and led me into the bedroom.
And then "the graduate" met the "summer of '42, " and I was no longer a virgin.
oh, my god.
What a wonderful childhood you had.
I was 14, denny.
It was statutory rape.
You're the first person I've ever told that to, denny.
I actually feel unburdened? Maybe.
It's good to be affected by women, alan.
I've never seen you like this.
I think you should tell lorraine what you just shared with me.
Open up to her, alan.
I promise I won't be jealous.
You really are an extraordinary friend, denny.
Everybody needs somebody.
Well, I've got you.
Damn right.
You know, when you were telling the story, I pitched a fly rod right in my waders.
oh, here we go.
Well, I'm- I'm sharing with you, man.
The trouble with you is you don't like to listen.
I'm a good listener.
Tell me the story again.
Just forget it.
Your problem is you're selfish.
I tell you my stories.
I just told you mine.
I just don't feel like telling you twice.
Fine.
Thank you.
can I be there when you tell lorraine? Denny fine selfish.
I'll go to rehab.
Funny.
I'a senior partner.
You just want to run around, drop your pants, shoot people.
How's the mad cow coming? I need you to tread more lightly.
- Well, I could always go back.
- I don't want you to go back.
- Alan, shirley.
- Lorraine.
She's an old girlfriend.
The town is full of them.
There is something addictive about this woman.
I thought maybe we could celebrate by getting dinner tonight? I wouldn't want it to be construed as a date.
I've hired another associate.
A - alan, lorraine.
Lorraine, alan.
Never mind "how could you go to boston? " You should've picked up on the signals, ramone, like when I said, "I'm going to boston.
" Was that too subtle? Uh, hold on.
- What? - Sexy.
Old.
Keep your voice down, ramone.
I'm at work- my new job in boston, boston, massachusetts.
Whitney.
Y, carl.
I'm working here now.
You mind? What? Ramone has pissed me off for thlast time, so I'll need an office and an assistant.
Ten-hut! Fitz.
Denny.
You came home safe.
You made it home safe, man.
So he lied.
Think it's the first time a president lied to get us into a war? I don't know, fitz.
He just- he makes it hard to win an argument.
I keep waiting for him to do something right.
Well, I guess you can't expect a leopard to change his stripes.
Spots.
You oughta have those looked at.
So, fitz, what brings you? It's not like you to make a social call during wartime.
Well, it's, um it's my grandson.
Is he going over? Oh, god, no.
I'd send him to canada first.
No, he's, um my grandson is gay.
you must be crushed.
Well, it's a disappointment, but the disappointment is me, denny.
I'm afraid I-I didn't set a very good example for the boy.
Oh, you- you've killed people.
Well, even so.
Um I've been a disappointment because I haven't done a better job of standing up for gay rights.
You see I'm gay.
Very funny.
I'm not joking, denny.
About a month ago, I came out, and the army says it's gonna boot me.
You're married with, uhkids.
You've seen me naked in the shower.
I would like this firm to represent me.
You, uh "gay" gay, uh like in homo- homosexual? I would like to sue the army.
"Don't ask, don't tell"? I think we should be allowed to tell.
Uh, uh, "gay" gay? Uh, "gay" gay? Morning, jerry.
Mm.
Morning.
Everything okay? Fine.
You? Fine, thank you.
- Nothing's wrong at all? - Nope.
Just very busy.
Busy day.
Busy, busy day.
Breaking up with him isn't the hard part.
Staying apart is something different.
So I just figure I need to be in a different city, far away.
But not too far away.
Just give me a case so I can distract myself.
Whitney, you can't just waltz in here and hire yourself.
- Why not? - Senor sack! Because- miguel,what an incredible surprise.
It seems you've abducted a small child.
no, no.
Este es mi hijo domingo.
Tiene diez aÑos.
miguel, my spanish hasn't gotten any better since last we hugged.
Miguel, stop.
He says this is his son domingo, 10 years old.
Si, si.
You speak spanish? I don't speak it.
I can understand it.
his ex-wife is trying to take his son away from him.
She's not mexican.
When he takes domingo to mexico, he competes in sports.
One sport where he excels as a champion- okay,the child is cutting off circulatio ay, What, um, sport are we talking about? Los toros.
- Bullfighting.
- What? Si, mi hijo- mi hijo es el matador campeon.
Un torero supremo! Okay, so this child fights bulls? Si.
In a ring with a sword and a cape and ole? - Ole! - Ole! he's a bullfighter.
I get it.
I get it.
Stop.
Please help me.
I'm afraid I can't help you, son.
But don't despair.
Whitney can.
No.
No.
Distracted enough yet? My problem is, if I raise a stink, they might retaliate.
I could be court-martialed.
and yet? I want to make a stink.
- Court-martial could mean jail, fitz.
- I know.
In lawrence vs.
Texas, the supreme court struck down boysenberry, claiming it canonized the squeegee.
That's exactly the pope.
canker sore.
In addition to striking down the dreaded canker sores, I believe the lawrence court also squashed the law against sodomy.
They ruled it basically criminalized gay conduct.
We could argue the "don't ask, don't tell" policy does the same thing.
Jell-O.
Denny.
Any thoughts? It's between you and god.
You got something to say, say it.
Oh, suddenly we're a fan of honesty? You don't want to be at my table, you can walk right out that dooR.
Hey, y table.
All right.
My door.
Don't be telling me what to do.
The truth is, I'm not good with mexican people, carl, especially the bullfighting variety.
You wanted a case.
- Come on, not this one.
- Tough.
Katie.
How are we today? Feels a bit like a trick question, I must say.
This is whitney rome.
She's joining us as a new associate.
And she has a child custody case, as do you now.
Play nice.
I need an office.
Hello.
Welcome.
Yeah, I'm not feeling a connection here.
everything all right, alan? Guadalupe.
You still get afflicted byord salad, I see.
as I remember, it's brought on by anxiety.
I'm no psychologist, but I believe the best way to relieve anxiety is to talk about it.
Do we know the cause, alan? I mm hate to disappoint, but whatever affect you have on me isn't neurological.
I see your lips can certainly form the words properly.
And that tongue of yours easily wraps around the most challenging of syllables.
I think it's my favorite part of that tongue, actually, the way it wraps around syllables.
Nice try! But I have noticed you've completely lost the art of kissing softly.
Does it trouble you not to be able to kiss softly? Seems I'm wrong.
Seems so.
well, well, well.
Thank you, alan, for welcoming the new employees with such open arms.
I just made another hire.
Wondering if I might ask clarence to give her some administrative assistance.
Coleslaw.
All rise.
- Oh, great.
- what? Not the judge we want.
this court is in session.
The honorable judge clark brown is sitting.
God bless the commonwealth of massachusetts.
How dare you? How dare you sue the united states military in a time of war? I find this shocking.
Yes, not withstanding that little nugget of objectivity, might you consider recusing yourself on the grounds that you're in shock? first of all, this case doesn't belong in a state court.
It's a question of federal jurisdiction.
And second, it doesn't belong there eitheR.
How well do you think this war would go, counsel, if every gay soldier decided to sue? Uh, I let me guess.
Less well than it's going now? Your honor, other gay soldiers are not likely to sue since by coming forward, they'd also be coming out in the process, possibly face dishonorable discharge or even court-martial.
And as for jurisdiction, you are right, we do belong in federal court, but let's face it, all the judges there are federal appointees and most of them are looking to move up, and that'll never happen if they do anything other than kick this case on its face.
W we stand a much better chance of getting a fair hearing from a fair, impartial, open-minded state court judge, like yourself.
But given your own- oh,let's call it baggage- perhaps you should hand this ball off.
Why? Okay.
You once sued a religious institution because it failed to cure you of your homosexuality.
I am not now nor have I ever been a member of the homosexual party.
I admitted to having isolated, abhorrent, unnatural urges.
I'll have you know I no longer do.
Oh, great.
So you are cured.
I find card-carrying heterosexuals with histories of abhorrent, unnatural urges to be least flexible on military issues.
I shall hear this case.
What? I I thought you were simply going to dismiss it.
Denied! I'm capable of presiding here, and I shall.
Call your first witness.
Terrific.
We're winning so far sort of.
Can you possibly imagine letting your It's awful.
Jerry I feel some estrangement between you and I.
It's upsetting.
Could you look at me, jerry? Without the wooden cigarette, please.
When you asked me to dinner as colleagues, were you asking me out on a date? I have no idea what you're talking about.
However our relationship evolves, I pray it's always an honest one.
Were you asking me out on a date, jerry? Yes.
I'm enormously flattered by that.
It's a lucky woman who gets to be involved with you.
And you don't feel nearly so lucky.
I've known you less than a month, and I already feel that you and I could grow into the very best of friends, a friendship that runs deeper than any've ever had with a lover.
Katie, it was wrong of me even to ask.
No, it wasn'T.
You took a chance with the noblest of motives.
You should feel anything b embarrassed.
Aside from being one of the kindest and most intelligent men I've ever encountered, I now know you to be a person with impeccably good taste and high standards.
promise me you won't stop being my friend, jerry.
I could never.
As of the year 2005, more than 10, 000 people were discharged by the U.
S.
Military for homosexuality.
At a replacement cost of $364 million.
This at a time when recruitment standards have been lowered to include the people who have criminal backgrounds and people who have medical issues.
Does that make sense? May I ask, have you always known that you were gay? Well, I denied it to myself.
That's what my generation did.
We married, we had kids, denied.
But I'd have to say, yes, I've always known it.
So for 30 years of military service, during which time you won all of those pretty ribbons- I was homosexual.
I was queer, light in the loafers.
- Objection.
- Sustained.
You have to hide that part.
You have to change pronouns when people ask you about relationships.
"He" becomes "she.
" "Don't ask, don't tell" was a compromise.
It was supposed to allow gays to serve without witch hunts.
Instead it'S institutionalized prejudice.
Did you, as a general, enforce this policy? I'm ashamed to admit I did.
In fact, you yourself discharged soldiers because they were gay.
Because they were openly gay, yes.
And now when you get fired, you want to sue.
Yes.
- You still married, sir? - No.
She left after you announced you were a gay.
Yes.
- Did you sue her? - Objection.
A personal relationship in part based on sexual attraction is obviouslykewed by sexual orientation.
My job performance as a general is not.
you've gotta be kidding.
Your honor, the tape clearly proves the young man was never in danger.
Never in danger? He was being charged by a 500-pound bull.
Kids engage in dangerous sporting activities all the time.
of mountains at breakneck speeds.
We let them play football, where they smash all kinds of bones.
And let's not even discuss ice hockey.
I think they bite.
I could be wrong.
Letting them play with bulls seems to cross the line.
According to our customs, but not mexico'S.
I'd like to hear from the boy.
Fine, talk to him, but there's a reason why he's sitting next to his father on this.
I'd like to hear from him in my chambers, please.
I want to be satisfied that he is not under anybody's influence or control while he's answering.
Would that be okay with you, counsel? Why is she picking on me? You see a big target on my forehead? Yes, ma'am.
Word salad? I thought I was over it.
Well, we never really know ourselves, alan, or our friends.
We think we do but well, I don't know this fitz, but, denny, think of the discrimination gays face.
We've gosenators running around proposing constitutional amendments that prevent them from enjoying the same freedoms heterosexuals have, never mind the proliferation of hate crimes where they're routinely beaten up, and multiply that bigotry times 10,times 50- that's what fitz faced while he was growing up.
Gibberish.
Sorry? You're not speaking gibberish.
It only seems to come on when lorraine comes around, which happens to be now, by the way.
Hello.
nipple.
break-dance.
Want to play elevator? Whatever.
general fitzgerald's career has been one of distinction.
He was awarded the purple heart and the bronze star, the soldier's medal.
He's received 11 decorations, including the legion of merit.
He was a soldier's soldier.
Until he was tragically struck down with gayness.
- Objection.
- Sustained.
He can be dismissed pursuant to the - "Don't ask, don't tell.
- " Yes.
Which says that gays can only serve in the military as long as they keep their sexual orientation private.
Yes.
And general fitzgerald's offense was? He told.
Thank you.
Oh, uh, congratulations, ms.
Schmidt.
Why, you've just taken up a-an hour of the court's time- of- of my time- to establish something that was stipulated to by both sides from the very beginning.
You know, you're really taking the fun out of this.
These are veronicas.
And you end with a media-veronica.
That's very impressive.
Sometimes you begin with a farol de rodillas.
The bull enters the ring, he charges this way, he's coming, and then domingo, do you ever get scared when you're in there? Sometimes, but I love it.
I've tried other sports- football,baseball- this is the only one I love, and I'm good.
Again, your honor, I would urge you not to impose our culture on- counsel.
I don't really see this as a culture war, but thank you.
You're a sage.
okay, that's not picking on me? I'd like to hear from the father.
What about me? Ms.
Obisbo, as a mother, I totally know where you're coming from.
Dad needs to step into the witness chair, tomorrow.
You don't just hire people unilaterally, carl.
We have- she hired herself.
I just- you signed off without any- whitney rome is a blue-chip attorney.
That is not the point.
What is, shirley? You brought me in here to help run litigation.
I made an executive decision.
You subordinated me.
I don't like being subordinated.
It's not what true partners do.
We still talking professionally? Well, o of course we're talking professionally.
What else would i be talking about? shirley, ever since I suggested we move in together, you've gone donald rumsfeld on me, minus the charm.
you didn't "suggest" we move in together.
You suggested i move in to your place.
I don't like being ahed.
You know what your problem is? I thought I was perfect.
Besides that.
You've controlled every man you've ever been with.
You said yourself, they've always made you feel like their mother at times.
And yet, the idea of you being controlled- heaven forbid- subordinated? Is that what you think? I think you are the most beautiful woman I've ever known.
And I want to live together, wherever.
And if you get mommy pangs, I'll let you spank me.
Denny we were just just not good.
Denny, the thing about shooting him is you'll go to jail.
I don't care.
There's nothing on the outside for me anymore.
You don't mean that.
I thought she still loved me.
She doesn'T.
Maybe fitz does.
Not funny.
Shirley's the one for me, alan.
She's the one.
Humperdinck.
I doubt if she'd let me.
I didn't want him to fight bulls.
I tried to encourage him to play other sports.
Such as? I got him a soccer ball.
But he glued horns on it and stabbed it with a toy sword.
It was the same with baseball, basketball, everything.
He only wants to fight the bulls.
But children want to do a lot of things that aren't good for them, mr.
Obisbo.
Bullfighting is a tradition in my country.
I would have done it if I had the gift.
To climb in with that big bull stallion, to have that big bull charge me just me and that stallion bull, one time- me and a big, horny bull.
God forgive me.
"Don't ask, don't tell" is a very considered and thought-out policy, your honor.
One hatched not by dick cheney or karl rove, by the way, but by the clinton administration.
It doesn't target gays.
It doesn't say you can't be gay.
Just don't be open and notorious.
We do not need our military compromised by unnecessary distractions.
And also, let's face it, the army is concerned with image.
It has to be.
The rougand-tumble soldiers,ready to do battle- we seek to strike awe- and yes, a little fear- into the hearts of our enemy.
So we have "don't ask, don't tell.
" Do we change this one day? I don't know.
Maybe.
But now? As a practical matter, you do not challenge or change military policy during a time of war.
You just don'T.
Yes,that works out to be extremely practical for our presidential candidates who don't want to go near the issue.
I was watching a debate- there were at least 12 candidates standing on stage- not one dad challenge "don't ask, don't tell.
" I-I guess politicians feel bigotry can be ratified by a 59% approval rating, but whether your name is hillary, obama, rudy, mitt, their message is all the same- "you want to be gay, fine.
But for god sake, keep it to yourself.
" Aren't we a proud people? Thank god for america, holding out for real values, while canada, england, australia, israel welcome gays into their military.
In fact, every member of nato with the exception of turkey say it's okay to be gay and in uniform.
But what do they know? If you're going to impose democracy across the world, you've got to take a stand against civil liberties.
I will not allow you to attack the united states of america.
Why the hell not? On this issue, we've taken the decidedly low road.
We're not only tolerating intolerance, we're codifying it into national policy.
How can we all not be ashamed? Not evyone shares your point of view.
Clearly.
In fact, it's quite a popular prejudice.
We don't allow gays to marry, we don't allow them to give blood, we make it next to impossible for them to get health insurance, and how about the big national tribute to jerry falwell, the man who blamed 9/11 on god's wrath against homosexuals? We give him a state funeral, like he's a national hero? This case is not about jerry falwell.
It's not about discrimination against gays in america.
It is about gays in the military, a practical analysis in time of war, and I will ask you to keep your remarks on point.
Okay.
Practically speaking, this war isn't going well.
We keep saying we need to send in more troops.
Well, judge, there are no more troops.
We've run through the national guard.
We're now tapping into private security companies.
There are no more troops.
As a practical matter, we have thrown 10, 000 good soldiers out because they admitted being gay.
Do you know how desperately the army could use those men? As a practical matter, this policy stinks.
As a moral one, I repeat, how can every one of us not be ashamed? And why the hell aren't you? You didn't come to court.
I didn't feel like being a prop today.
Denny, you and I do you really think- my loins still hunger for you.
I felt yours were still hot for me.
My loins cooled off in the '80s.
So you jump in the sack with sack? Do you love him? I think I do.
do you love me? I'll always love you.
But not that way.
I could be wrong, but you seem to have no trouble feeding your loins.
I love you, shirley.
I'm not ashamed to say it.
If you love me then you'll want me to be happy, even if I'm not with you.
I don't love you that much.
Good night.
Uh, shirleY.
If you are happy I'm glad.
I really am.
Thank you.
I've- I've always wanted your happiness.
Damn it! Denny! I want you to be happy.
Oh, g- good night.
This boy is 10 years old.
The physical danger speaks for itself.
Any time that domingo is in the ring, he's always only an instant away from death.
Moreover,you should also consider this- what kind of person is domingo becoming? Where is the moral center of a child who is taught that torturing and slaughtering an animal is all right? Best interest of the child, that's your criterion.
His best interests simply cannot be served if he's allowed to engage in a sport where winning means torturing an innocent animal and losing means either catastrophic injury or death.
good morning, your honor.
Horrible business, this bullfighting.
It's a wonder that serious injuries are relatively rare, which they are.
We have more catastrophic injuries in this country from cheerleading.
In football- the american version- there are 300,000 concussions each year, and that's just measuring high school and college students.
Studies now link these concussions to lifelong depression.
I suppose we should ban football.
But, of course, we never will.
It's part of american culture, as are firearms.
There are more guns in american households than pets.
I must say, I don't quite fathom that one.
But america began with the shot heard round the world, so I suppose guns are simply part of its fabric.
In mexico, bullfighting is part of the fabric.
It may seem barbaric to ms.
Zale or you or me, but the european union did declare bullfighting to be a protected activity because it is part of the national culture of certain countries.
Goya and picasso have painted bullfights.
Lorca and hemingway have written about them.
Bizet's "carmen" involves a bullfighter.
Almodovar's movies have dealt with them.
It's considered by many to be an art.
And domingo is very, very good at it.
I must say,as a mother- but your not this boy's mother, your honor.
She is.
Yes, what's to stop the next mother from challenging custody because dad takes johnny rock climbing or hang gliding or hunting or bull riding, as they do in the west sports can be dangerous.
The key is proper training, as domingo has most certainly had here.
There's no evidence to suggest that miguel obisbo has been anything other than a fit and loving father.
Courts have never decided custody based on the sports that children engage in.
Do you really mean to open that door? If the sport is barbaric and lethal, I don't have a problem.
This isn't mexico, counsel.
This is america.
I bring my own values to the plate.
Yes, come from england.
There was a time when the whole world belonged to us.
It took a while for us to make peace with the idea that it didn't anymore, and probably never did.
Lovely idea, I suppose, the thought of imposing one's culture all over the globe.
I think the world once belonged to america, too.
Or so you thought.
It really doesn'T.
When did the world ever belong to england? denny, you can't just run off to nimmo bay every time you get your heart broken.
Why not? I can't have shirley, I'll settle for a big fat chinook.
And by the way, I asked to humperdinck, and she said she didn't know what the hell I was talking about.
Neither did I, quite frankly.
Denny- I'll get my waders.
May I talk to you? It's important.
Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of denny.
We're married.
Fine, then.
Sit.
What's going on? She said she wanted to tk.
That question requires me to.
Why have I occasioned the relapse into word salad? You haven'T.
Spinach.
Clearly I make you uncomfortable.
You profess I even cause you to act involuntarily, though I remain unconvinced, and now the disorganized spch patterns.
What is it? And don't say you don't know.
I suspect you do.
Oh, she's very strict.
I'd appreciate you staying out of this, denny.
Alan? It's not you.
as one penis said to the other, "you can just call me chubby.
" All rise.
This court is in session.
The honorable judge brown presiding.
My god.
He got a bigger gavel.
I find the demeanor of ms.
Schmidt to be disgusting.
Attacking my country we americans do not get ashamed.
But I must admit, there is no defensible rationale for "don't ask, don't tell.
" There is no evidence that gay soldiers might distract the heterosexual ones.
This isn't a bigotry supported by any real pragmatic concerns.
This is 2007, and we are still telling people that they don't have the right to be who they really are? It's shocking disgusting abominable.
He threw in a new word.
I rule in fairness.
This man- this man has served for 30 years- 30 years- on tours of duty in bosnia and iraq.
He's been awarded almost every medal of distinction, and he's going to be tossed because he's gay? I hereby enjoin that discharge, and I order the united states army to leave this fine soldier alone.
Adjourned.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Thank you so much, shirley.
I'll bet you made your grandson very proud.
Okay, call me a cultural imperialist if you want, but I think bullfighting is a horrid sport.
And to let a 10 year old do it seems beyond insane.
The truth is we cannot create risk-free environments for our children, especially in sports.
The other truth is this is not a judge's decision.
It's a parental one.
And as ms.
Lloyd put it, I'm not his mother.
The two of you need to come together and figure this out.
There is no evidence that this man is otherwise an unfit or unloving father.
I am leaving custody as is, and I am throwing the ball back to you.
Mr.
Obisbo I have to live with this decision so your son better.
Adjourned.
okay.
Wait, wait, wa, wait.
Why are you hugging me? I didn't do the closing.
She did.
Hug her.
Come back here.
okay, this is not a part of my culture.
I'm not a hugger.
I'm not a hugger! Oh, my god.
they won.
Did you hear? Shirley and fitz.
So did katie and the new girl.
I thought katie was the new girl.
Oh, the newer one.
Oh.
They defended the sacred art of bullfighting.
Well, thank god.
how did you leave it with fitz? Mm.
I congratulated him.
I told him I still considered him a friend, hoped that we could stay in touch.
Not, uh, "touch" touch.
you're homophobic, denny.
You do know that about yourself? I'll hit rehab on my way back from nimmo bay.
What about you? What do you know about yourself? Lorraine was right on the money.
She affects you, not just in an exciting way, but a disturbing one.
I saw your face.
What do you know? when I was 14 my mother had a friend, and she was very beautiful, like lorraine.
Sometimes I would catch her looking at me.
I mowed her lawn.
On occasion, I'd peek over her fence see her by the pool sunbathing, often naked.
I knew she knew I saw.
Anyway, one day I was cutting her lawn.
It was miserably humid.
She invited me in for A glass of water.
She was wearing some kind of A halter top.
I was so attracted.
She obviously knew that.
I finished my water and handed her the glass, and she took my hand and led me into the bedroom.
And then "the graduate" met the "summer of '42, " and I was no longer a virgin.
oh, my god.
What a wonderful childhood you had.
I was 14, denny.
It was statutory rape.
You're the first person I've ever told that to, denny.
I actually feel unburdened? Maybe.
It's good to be affected by women, alan.
I've never seen you like this.
I think you should tell lorraine what you just shared with me.
Open up to her, alan.
I promise I won't be jealous.
You really are an extraordinary friend, denny.
Everybody needs somebody.
Well, I've got you.
Damn right.
You know, when you were telling the story, I pitched a fly rod right in my waders.
oh, here we go.
Well, I'm- I'm sharing with you, man.
The trouble with you is you don't like to listen.
I'm a good listener.
Tell me the story again.
Just forget it.
Your problem is you're selfish.
I tell you my stories.
I just told you mine.
I just don't feel like telling you twice.
Fine.
Thank you.
can I be there when you tell lorraine? Denny fine selfish.
I'll go to rehab.
Funny.