Buffy the Vampire Slayer s04e04 Episode Script

Parker Abrams.
I'm at Kresky Hall.
Buffy Summers, Stevenson.
Previously on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer": - What are you doing? - Making a choice.
- Parker, did I do something wrong? - Didn't you have fun? - Is that all it was? - What else was it supposed to be? He's manipulative andshallow.
And why doesn'the wantme? I think you're missing something about the whole poop-head principle.
Anya.
Hi again.
So, college notso scaryafterall? It's turning out to be a lotlike high school, which I can handle.
I don't know.
I was going for ferocious-scary, but it's coming out more dryly sardonic.
It does appear to be mocking you with its eyeholes.
Yet its nosehole seems sad and full of self-loathing.
What do you think, Buff? I was just thinking about the life of a pumpkin.
Grow up in the sun, happily entwined with others, and then someone comes along, cuts you open and rips your guts out.
OK.
And on that happy note, got a treat for tomorrow night's second annual Halloween screening.
People, prepare to have your spines tingled and your gooses bumped by the terrifying Fantasia.
Fantasia? Maybe it's the horrific things we've seen, but hippos wearing tutus don't unnerve me the way they used to.
Phantasm.
It was supposed to be Phantasm.
Stupid video store.
I thought we were doing the Alpha-Delt thing.
- What thing? - The scary house? - Sounds kinda lame.
- But it borders on fun.
You go through the scary-house maze to get to the party, which is worth getting to.
- Those guys go all out.
- As witnessed last Friday.
There's a party? We didn't tell you? No, that's cool.
You guys got your little college thing.
I'm fine.
I mean, I got better things to do than tag along to some fraternity.
- You can come.
- OK.
Only because I lied about having better things to do.
Blast will be had by all.
- I'm gonna get going.
- Now? The night's still OK, it's a little mature, but still I'm sleepy.
You guys have fun.
- You want me to come with? - No, I'm fine.
Sad Buffy.
She didn't even touch her pumpkin.
It's a freak with no face.
She's suffering post-Parker depression.
Bailing on the Buff.
Does anyone else wanna smack that guy? Jeez, that hurt.
What the hell's wrong with you, lady? That's what I'd like to know.
I've got the basics down: levitation, charms, glamours.
I just feel like I've plateaued, Wicca-wise.
What's the next level? Transmutation.
Conjuring.
Bringing forth something from nothing.
It gets you pretty close to the primal forces.
A little scary.
Well, no one's pushing.
If it's too much, don't do it.
Don't do it? What kind of encouragement is that? This is an encouragement talk? I thought it was "share my pain".
I don't know.
Then again, what is college for if not experimenting? You know? Maybe I can handle it.
I'll know when I've reached my limit.
- Wine coolers? - Magic.
- Didn't encourage her, did you? - Where's Supportive Boyfriend Guy? Picking up your dry cleaning.
He told me to tell you he's afraid you're gonna get hurt.
OK, Brutus.
Brutus.
Caesar? Betrayal? Trusted friend? Backstabby? I'm with you on the reference, but I won't lie about the fact that I'm worried.
I know what it's like to have power you can't control.
And every time I start to wolf out I touch something deep, dark.
It's not fun.
Butjust know that, whatever you decide, I'll back your play.
See? Concerned Boy.
Sweet Boy.
I know.
I kinda like him worrying, anyway.
You know, I forgot to be hungry.
Wait, Buffy.
Buffy.
Don't letjerky Parker chase you away.
He didn't.
I just don't wanna deal with this right now.
Taking a holiday from dealing.
Happily vacationing in the land of Not Coping.
You'll feel better at the party tonight.
Maybe you'll even meet someone.
I don't wanna meet someone.
I've reached my quota on someones.
I'm gonna have to patrol anyway.
Tonight? But it's Halloween.
I'll double-check with Giles, but I'm sure he'll think I should be on slayer duty.
He doesn't care about Halloween.
Happy Hal Hello, Buffy.
Oh, my God.
- It's a sombrero.
- And it's on your head.
It seemed festive.
Come in.
Candy? What's going on here? You hate Halloween.
I've never said any such thing.
As my watcher's duties took precedence, I simply hadn't taken time to embrace its inherent charms.
Until now.
Look.
It's alive.
See how he shakes.
- Is there something you wanted? - I was thinking I'd patrol tonight.
Possibly the cemetery.
Or ifyou had a better - Could you please take that off? - Yes.
Of course.
I see.
Is there some specific danger you were sensing? No.
But we were caught off-guard when Ethan turned everyone into their costumes.
What happened then was anomalous.
Creatures ofthe night shy away from Halloween.
They find it too crass.
Hard to believe.
Well I promise you Little likelihood of any supernatural activity tonight.
Sure you don't want one? I come bearing spiders.
Sound system's not gonna cut it.
Nothin' but lame.
You want me to call Oz? He could probably hook us up.
Do it.
Ifwe're not scaring the young women, they will not fall into our arms.
We'll have womanless arms.
Halloween's not about thrills, chills and funny costumes.
It's about getting laid.
Is there a holiday that's not about getting laid? Arbor Day.
- Call Oz, dude.
- Done.
And you wanted a symbol to paint upstairs.
Something mystical.
Check this out.
Anya, you really have to get this knocking thing down.
- How did you? - Your uncle Rory let me in.
- Does he always smell like peppermint? - The man likes his schnapps.
- What are you doing here? - You haven't called.
Not once.
- You said you were over me.
- And you just accepted that? I said what I thought you wanted to hear.
Well, I tend to hear the actual words people say and accept them at face value.
- That's stupid.
- I accept that.
I can't say seeing you falls into the realm of a bad thing.
Really? I thought maybe we could go out tonight, for our anniversary.
Anniversary? It's been exactly one week since we copulated.
Did you forget? No.
Of course not.
It's just I already have plans with Buffy, Willow and Oz.
- It's Halloween, you know.
- I don't understand.
Every October 31st, we mortals dress up No, no, I understand that inane ritual.
It's those people.
You associate with them, though you share little in common.
What are you talkin' about? I mean, they go to college.
You don't.
They no longer live at home.
You do.
Well, those things The bonds oftrue friendships transcend Could we change the subject? OK.
Don't get upset with me.
I just wondered.
Ifyou want, you can come with me tonight to this party.
You mean like a date? Is that what this is? Are we dating? There are definitely date-like qualities at work here.
- You'll need a costume.
- A costume? Dress up.
You know, something scary.
Scary? Scary how? Anya, you, ex-demon, terrorised mankind for centuries.
I'm sure you'll come up with something.
Excuse me, Professor Walsh.
I came to get today's assignments.
I couldn't make it to class, for personal reasons.
Right.
I count four limbs, a head, no visible scarring, so I assume your personal issue wasn't life-threatening, and am therefore uninterested.
You got problems, solve 'em on your own time.
Miss another class and you're out.
She means it, you know.
Yeah.
I got the impression she wasn't saying it to make me laugh.
Your work's taken a downturn lately.
I can't remember the last time I saw your hand up.
Does stretching count? Look, things get pretty intense freshman year, as I dimly recall.
Too much fun or not enough? Both, actually.
You gotta keep your priorities.
Professor Walsh is worth your time.
Thanks.
I'll get this done tonight.
Tonight.
It's Halloween.
You're not gonna dress up and party? I have a lot ofwork to do.
It's not really my business, but you seem like a person who makes things really hard on themselves.
Halloween isn't a night for responsibility.
It's when the ghosts and goblins come out.
That's actually a misnomer.
I didn't mean real ones.
But there is good scary fun on campus tonight.
- What are you doing? - I am gonna sit here and grade papers.
Scary.
Very.
Well, thanks for the pep talk, coach.
Don't make fun.
I worked hard to get this pompous.
No, I mean it.
You're welcome.
OK, watch your step, boys.
Paint's still wet in a few spots.
Thanks for the loan, man.
Our sound system sucks.
MiCasio es su Casio.
Well, that's an interesting little design.
What does it mean? No clue.
I got it out ofthis book Grapes! Wow, peeled.
You guys know how to spoil your guests.
Eyeballs, man.
Blindfold chicks, put their hands in the bowl, then tell them it's eyeballs.
They love that.
And I was wasting time buying them flowers and complimenting them on their shoes.
So, you go through the whole house of horrors downstairs and it ends up here.
Sweet.
You fratly guys have a nice setup.
Mighty Alpha Delts.
You should think about pledging.
Xander's a civilian.
A townie? I didn't know.
You look so normal.
- Sure we should let him come to the party? - Standing right here.
Cranking! - Sensing a disturbance in the Force, master? - Left speaker's crackling.
And stabbing it is the proper solution? I'm just gonna trim the wire.
It might be a short.
Oz? Cut myself.
It's OK.
Playing with knives? Fun.
Yes.
But not safe.
And when you bleed to death I got dibs on your equipment.
- Thanks again for doing this.
- I'm just glad I could find it.
There.
Try it now.
I let down the hem and loosened it a little around the hood.
That feels better.
Oh, no.
Someone's getting Nostalgic Face.
I'm sorry.
I'm thinking about that little girl who wore that.
What is it? Five? Six years ago? When Little Red Riding Hood was the cutting edge in costumes.
Your father loved to take you out.
He was such a pain.
12 years old and no trick-or-treating by myself? - He just wanted to keep you safe.
- He wanted the candy.
I was just the beard.
That's not true, actually.
The candy was for me.
Your father loved spending time with you.
Not enough, I guess.
Buffy.
Thatjust paved right over Memory Lane.
You know the divorce had nothing to do with you.
I don't know.
I'm starting to feel like there's a pattern here.
Open your heart to someone and he bails on you.
Maybe it's easier to just not let anyone in.
I thought it might be easier.
You must've noticed I'm not the social butterfly that I was when I was with your dad.
I don't think I made a single new friend the year we moved to Sunnydale.
Why not? Fear.
I didn't believe I could trust anyone again.
It's taken time and a lot of effort, but I've got a nice circle offriends now.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm still a little gun-shy.
It certainly didn't help that my last boyfriend turned out to be a homicidal robot.
I will always be here for you.
And you've got Mr Giles and your friends.
Believe me, there's nothing to be afraid of.
No, I'll just meet you at your place.
Buffy said she was coming, but I haven't seen her.
We have to make sure she has fun.
We have to force fun upon her.
And if Parker shows up, we'll just axe-murder him.
That's Halloweeny.
OK.
See you in a bit.
You gonna stop by the room? I'm late for battle or I would.
I love your outfit, though.
- There is nothing going on here.
- I saw you flirting with her.
Do we have to do this every time? I love you.
You know that.
OK, Rach, what's in the next one? - You guys are sick.
- Here, give me your hand.
This is gross.
Eyeballs, Rachel.
They're eyeballs.
Hey, Red.
What you got in the basket, little girl? Weapons.
Just in case.
- Like the tux, Xander.
- Bond.
James Bond.
In case we get turned into our costumes again, I'm going for Cool Secret-Agent Guy.
I hate to break it to you, but you'll probably end up Cool Headwaiter Guy.
As long as I'm cool and wield some kind of power.
Will.
Medieval Will.
Hail, ye old varletty, thou.
I'm Joan ofArc.
I figured we had a lot in common, seeing as how I was almost burned at the stake.
And plus she had that close relationship with God.
And you are? Of course.
I wish I'd thought ofthat before I put down my deposit.
I could've been God.
Blasphemer.
Nice costumes.
Very stealthy.
What are they supposed to be? NATO? I invited Anya to join us, but she's having some trouble finding a scary costume, so she's just gonna meet us there.
Perfect.
Everybody's got a date but third-wheel Buffy.
- You're not a third wheel.
- Technically speaking, you're a fifth wheel.
We're gonna have the best time.
Let the horrors begin.
God help me.
Release me.
The joint's notjumpin'.
Where is everybody? Follow the signs.
Terrifying.
If I were Abbott and Costello, this would be fairly traumatic.
Cobweb.
OK, that part was realistic.
Frat boys aren't too obsessive with their cleaning.
It might not be decoration per se.
I wasn't scared.
I was in the spirit.
And we'll back you up on that.
Even ifthey question us separately.
Get it off.
- It's gone.
- OK, that is not sanitary.
Let's get to the party part ofthe party.
Yeah.
- Are you sure it's off me? - Yeah.
I thought this led to What is it? Blood.
Real blood.
OK, actual creeps have been given.
Bravo, frat boys.
Do you hear something? Like a squeaking noise? It's these rented shoes.
Patent leather.
No, no, no.
Wait.
It's something else.
I hear it, too.
It's something like - Oz, don't.
It might be - Rubber.
It's made of rubber.
What the hell is going on here? Look, maybe it's nothing.
Maybe it's just a neat trick.
Something done with wires or Release me! Or it might be something else.
Where's the door? Hello.
Help me! Help me, please! Xander.
Where's the stairs? Where's the door? This is the way we came in, right? We just went in a circle.
Thank the Lord.
You're welcome.
I have a neat idea.
Let's get out of here.
- You were so anxious for me to come.
- We don't know what we're dealing with.
OK, my turn.
Does anyone hear that? Well, as soon as we start dealing with it Do you hear something? Like I said, it sounds like a hissing.
It's like a "ssss" noise.
I thought the word "hissing" kind of covered that nicely.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
Sorry.
- Chaz? - Didn't know.
What's happening? It - What is it? - It's alive.
What's alive? - He's in shock.
- Chaz, what happened here? - I think the cape took most of it.
- It could need stitches.
At least get a bandage.
Cowering in a closet seems like a reasonable plan.
What closet? I'm gonna go upstairs and see ifthere are people up there.
Ifyou guys find a way out ofthe house, use it.
You're telling us to run away and leave you behind? We need help.
We need the only person that can make sense ofwhat's happening.
Just a minute.
Coming.
Happy Ha Xander's in trouble.
You've gotta do something now.
Are you listening? Xander's trapped.
- Where's Buffy and the others? - Trapped, but we've gotta save Xander.
Slow down.
I need you to be more specific.
We were supposed to meet at this house.
I got there and there was no door where a door should be.
I see a girl standing in a window, and then "poof!" She's gone.
- She vanished from the window? - No, the window vanished from the house.
Matter-and-reality distortion.
Like a summoning spell's temporal flux.
What? Never mind.
I just need to get some supplies together.
I wouldn't worry about Xander.
At least he's amongst friends.
- I'm telling you - You're telling me? - I can't do myjob if I'm worrying about you.
- It's not your decision.
- Gotta disagree with you there.
- Of course you do.
Let's all take a breath.
Buffy Being the Slayer doesn't make you the boss.
You're as lost as the rest of us.
What are we talking about? It's a simple incantation.
A guiding spell for travellers when they get lost or disoriented.
How's it work? It conjures an emissary from the beyond that lights the way.
Conjuring.
Will, let's be realistic here.
Your basic spells are usually only fifty-fifty.
Yeah? Well, so's your face.
What? What does that mean? I'm not your sidekick.
Will, hang on.
Well, that was a bunch of laughs.
Look, Buffy, we're all tired and a little edgy.
Maybe Willow's overreacting.
Part of it's because you've been Pushing Away Girl lately.
But now's not the time to let that stufftear us apart.
What I'm saying is, I'm right with ya.
Right by your side.
Xander? Funny how you still haven't lost your sense of inappropriate humour.
Xander, where did you go? Buffy, knock it off.
The skit's over.
I'm right here.
This is so typical of him.
Typical? Xander? Buffy! Buff? She thinks I'm not ready to be a full-blown witch.
I can handle the dark forces as good as anyone else.
It's not that hard.
It's just a guiding spell, and I'm careful an' all.
This floor used to have windows.
Look.
We found the stairs.
Buffy didn't find stairs.
No, sir.
I don't think you guys are thinking clearly.
We just need to get up to the goat room and - Willow, something's happening.
- Something good? Oh, no.
Not good.
I'm changing.
But you can't.
There's no moon tonight.
I have to get away.
No.
We need to find something to restrain you, like a rope or chains or something.
There's no time.
I can do the guiding spell.
I know I can make it work.
- Will, please.
- No! No! Oz! Oz, don't leave me.
There I am.
I didn't go anywhere.
Great.
Now I just got to live with the fact that no one else can see me.
I can see you.
You're not gonna change.
You're not gonna change OK.
OK.
Aradia, Goddess ofthe Lost, the path is murky, the woods are dense.
Darkness pervades.
I beseech thee, bring the light.
I did it.
I did you.
Hi.
Right.
You're waiting for instructions.
Lead me to Oz.
Wait.
I should try to find the people trapped upstairs first.
But we still have to find a way out ofthe house.
OK, here's what we should do.
What's going on? Stop.
Stop it.
Get off.
Oz! Help! Help! Help me! Oz! Someone help! Willow.
Basement.
I must be in the basement? All alone.
Who said that? They all ran away from you.
They always will.
Open your heart to someone and Don't fret, little girl.
You're not alone.
Any more.
Well? We're gonna have to create a door.
Create a door? You can do that? I can.
No matter how hard you fight, you just end up in the same place.
I don't see why you bother.
I'm upstairs.
The goat room.
Oz? Get 'em off me! Get 'em off! Willow.
- What's wrong? - Couldn't get 'em off It's OK.
We're OK.
We're not OK.
We need to get out of here.
I'd offer my opinion, but you jerks aren't gonna hear it.
Not that Didn't Go To College Boy has anything important to say.
I might as well hang out with Bleeding Dummy Head What is wrong with you? You heard that? You can see me? Good.
Oh, God, good! The house separated us.
Like it wanted to scare us.
But we got away.
No.
We were brought here.
We all got so scared that we ended up here.
Why? I saw them painting that.
They were copying out of that.
- I think it's Gaelic.
- Can you translate? Release me.
- Will, give me something.
- OK.
The icon's called the Mark of Gachnar.
I think this is a summoning spell for something called Gachnar? Well, yes.
Somehow the beginning ofthe spell must've been triggered.
Gachnar's trying to manifest itself to come into being.
- How? - It feeds on fear.
Our fears are manifesting.
We're feeding it.
We need to stop.
Ifwe close our eyes and say it's a dream, it'll stab us to death.
These things are real.
OK, so our fears are feeding it.
Ifwe get everyone out of here Good plan.
Let's go.
Giles? Everyone, it's Giles.
With a chain saw.
- Glad you could make it.
- The wall's closed up behind us.
Gachnar.
Of course.
Its presence infects the reality ofthe house, but it's not achieved full manifestation.
We cannot allow this to come into being.
But if it does, I can fight it, right? Buffy - This is Gachnar.
- I don't wanna fight that.
- So we break the spell.
- Let's do it fast.
I have it.
"The summoning spell for Gachnar can be shut down in one oftwo ways.
" "Destroying the Mark of Gachnar is not one ofthem, and will immediately bring forth the fear demon itself.
" Look.
This is Gachnar? Big overture.
Little show.
I am the Dark Lord of Nightmares.
The bringer ofterror.
Tremble before me.
Fear me.
He's so cute.
Who's a little fear demon? Come on.
Don't taunt the fear demon.
- Why, can he hurt me? - No, it's just tacky.
Be that as it may, Buffy, when it comes to slaying - Size doesn't matter? - They're all going to abandon you, you know.
Yeah, yeah.