Empty Nest (1988) s04e04 Episode Script

Life goes on, and so do we Just how we do it is no mystery One by one - one by one we fill the days we find a thousand different ways Sometimes the answer can be hard to find Hard to find that's something I will never be I'm always here for anything you need Anything you need rain or shine I'll be the one to share it all As life goes on we share it all as life goes on uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
No, you just hold on there! You just back up a minute.
You said my car'd be ready at 2:00.
Then you said 4:00.
Now you say it's tomorrow? No, it's not so complicated if you know what you're doin'.
And I resent you talkin' down to me like a woman, just 'cause I'm a woman.
No, I do not have to ask my husband when we change the oil.
I change it myself every 3,000 mile.
Yes, I know what a dipstick is.
You are a dipstick.
- Hi, daddy.
- Carol, sweetheart! Oh, what brings you here in the middle of the day? Something's wrong.
No, daddy, just the opposite.
I'm here to pay you the money I owe you.
Oh, ho, that's great! Okay, is this the $35 for the hairdresser, or the $60 for the theater tickets, or the $100 you borrowed last month for the new sunglasses? That's the one, the $100 for the sunglasses.
And here it is, $20 of it.
Why do feel there's more to this story? I'm giving it to you because I pay my debts, in a responsible and timely manner, my handsome incorporated daddy.
- Okay, how much? - $133.
50 plus tax.
I know it's a lot, but it's an emergency.
What kind of emergency has tax? It is the most adorable bolero jacket.
I've just got to have it.
Carol, no one has got to have a bolero jacket, except maybe a bolero.
Daddy, it's for Michelle's wedding.
I'm already economizing.
I'm not buying her a gift.
Carol, I am not giving you this money.
Oh! Well, this is a joke, isn't it? Carol, come on.
You're a grown woman! You have to learn how to stand on your own two feet.
Daddy, just because you pay my rent, my bills, my gas, and my dry cleaning, and a few incidentals does not mean I don't stand on my own two feet.
I am an independent woman With a slight cash flow problem.
Then cut down on your expenses, or find some extra work! I pay for your dry cleaning? You know, extra work might not be such a bad idea.
Except with my regular job at the library, you'd never see me.
I could live with that.
Yes, I have basic secretarial skills.
Well, no, I don't take actual shorthand, but I do have a very fast longhand.
Oh, I'd be happy to send you a resume.
What's the address? slow down little? I'm writing this down.
Hello? Hey, westons.
Carol, I think I've found the job for you.
There's an opening on my ship you'd be absolutely perfect for.
- What, what? - Masthead.
Just think of it, your face pulling into Portugal.
You know what I'd really love to find is just some small business that needs a little help.
I was in one today, a little catering company.
Catering company, that would be perfect.
Do you think they need any part-time help? Not likely, this place was a front for a money laundering operation.
We busted them today.
Catering, why didn't I think of that? It's perfect.
Do you think they'd want to sell the business? Carol, you can't run a business.
You're not the type.
You have to be tough, realistic, hardheaded.
I am hardheaded.
That's why you'd be a good masthead.
It's not so bad, really.
It definitely has potential.
But it also has roaches, and five people sleeping in the doorway.
Oh, Barbara, you have no vision.
I can see things happening here.
Oh, my god! What is that? It's one of the things that happened here.
- Seen enough? - No, I like it.
It has a lot of Je ne sais quoi.
Well, a good cleaning will take care of that.
See ya.
That's not a bad looking oven.
- Hope no one's in it.
- Boo! Yes, I think this is going to work out great.
Hello, Carol's catering.
The white house? A party? Yes, I think that I can squeeze you in.
How many will there be? Just me and Mrs.
bush.
- Who are you? - Jose Martinez.
Joe, I work here, or I used to.
Were you involved in the, uh, money laundering? Oh, no, no, no, no.
I was strictly catering.
I was the cook, the dishwasher, the delivery man, the cleaning crew.
I was what we call in Cuba, cansado.
What's that? Tired.
Oh, I'm, I'm sorry.
I'm, I'm Carol Weston.
Ah.
I'm thinking of buying the business.
Oh, buy the laundering part.
Joe, uh, if you don't mind me asking, how much did they pay you to work here? and 200 for keeping my mouth shut.
Well, I couldn't pay you that much, but, of course, you wouldn't have to keep your mouth shut.
Hey, that was the best part of the job.
Poor whitey should've learned that.
Who's whitey? Him.
- You knew him? - Mm.
They done him wrong.
Oh, yes.
They shouldn't have killed him.
No, they done him wrong.
No mustache, no gold chains, no glasses.
Carol, I said a part-time job.
You don't know anything about running a business.
So I'll learn.
It'll be good for my self-esteem.
It might even give you some.
I thought you'd be pleased, daddy.
You told me you wanted me to do things on my own.
I do want you to do things on your own.
And now, completely on your own, I want you to forget this whole thing.
I'm sorry, daddy, but my mind is made up.
All right, all right, all right! At least go over the details with my lawyer.
That won't be necessary.
I found my own lawyer.
He has an office in the Brisbane mall.
You, you have a mall lawyer? I know it sounds tacky, but he handled Myrna bendler's divorce, and he got her the house, the car, and the condo in Bermuda.
She didn't get the kids.
She didn't want the kids.
Carol, it says here that you're going to buy this business for $3,000.
I hope you are not expecting me to lend you this money.
No, daddy.
I have my own money.
What? When did you get that kind of money? I refinanced my car.
Proud of me, daddy? Isn't that great? And I did it all on my own.
Carol, this is not a good idea, you're going to be working very long hours, you're going to be exhausted, and you're going to jeopardize your whole future at the library! No, daddy.
Once we celebrate Dewey decimal days, I'll be on autopilot.
Besides, the library is just a job.
Catering, catering is a, a form of creative expression.
Cooking transports me.
It excites me.
It's a high.
Not as high as 22%.
Say that again.
$400? No, no, no.
I have your famous kimmel motors extended warranty.
What do you mean, not covered? Since when is a transmission goin' wappety, wappety, wappety an act of god? You put me on hold one more time, I'm gon' put you on life support.
Laverne, uh, when you get a minute, type that up for me, will you, please? Business license, health inspection, workman's comp.
What is this? Well, it's a list of things for Carol to take care of for her new business, things she probably did not think of.
Doctor, can I make an observation? Sure.
You crumpled my list.
That is not an observation.
That is a It's a crumple.
You told Carol to stand on her own two feet, and that's a good thing.
Now you've got to butt out and let her do it.
But it's just so hard to stand by and watch her making all these mistakes.
Well now, they're her mistakes to make, aren't they? - Hi, daddy.
- Hi, sweetheart.
Hi, Laverne.
Oh, daddy, I've got big news.
What is it? I just took my first catering order.
I'm on my way! Oh, sweetheart, that's great! Now, you listen to me.
You get them to sign a contract and you Ah, you can handle it, whatever it is.
It's a sit-down dinner for 200 people.
Two, two hundred? Hmm, never cooked for six in her entire life.
I knew you'd be proud of me, daddy.
Oh, yes, yes.
Oh, I am, dear, I am.
I mean, but do you think you're gonna have the time? Oh, yes, daddy, I'm gonna have plenty of time.
I quit my job at the library this morning.
She quit her job! Gutsy move! I think you're doing a wonderful job here, dear.
Thank you, daddy.
Look, now, I know how you feel, so I'm not going to offer any more advice or suggestions.
However, Laverne was wondering, do you have liability insurance? Please, daddy.
You said you wouldn't interfere.
I'm just trying to give you the benefit of my experience.
But I don't need the benefit of your experience.
I already have my first customer.
Before long, I'll be completely in the black, and I'll have the satisfaction of knowing that I did it on my own.
Now, can't you understand that? Yes, dear.
It's easy to understand, it's just not easy to stay out of it, but I'm going to just try harder.
It'll be a whole lot easier if I'm not here.
So I'm out of here, I'm gone.
You're on your own, I'm not saying another word! Sprinklers, you have no sprinklers.
Oh, welcome to "the elegant epicure," where elegant is our middle name.
Hiya.
I'm, uh, John Edgar moss, where, uh, Edgar's my middle name.
The sit-down dinner for 200.
We spoke on the phone.
- Hors d'oeuvres? - Yeah, nice.
Uh, can we get down to business? Oh, certainly.
I've prepared a sample menu.
Of course, everything is subject to your approval.
No, no, no, any way you want to handle this is fine.
Uh, here's the dough, My god, for that, you could have lobster newburg.
Oh, wait a minute, I don't understand.
Oh, yes, I think I do.
Is this money laundering? What did you think it was? But on the phone, you said dinner for 200.
- Yeah, those are the code words: 200, 200 grand.
Code words, code words? How am I supposed to know that? - You gave the code answer.
- What code answer? Sit-down or buffet? See you around, red.
Wait a minute! Where are you going? I bought all this food! I'm stuck with all this food.
Look, can't we make a deal? Don't you people have parties or weddings? How about a party for your whole family, huh? You can surprise your whole family! Lady, if I surprise the family I'm in, you know what would happen to me? Funerals! I also do funerals! - How's it going? - Great, great.
How about you? Oh, just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine.
A lot of traffic on the way home, tonight.
Really? Yeah, there's a building on fire.
I guess it had no sprinklers.
Hi.
- You okay? - Never better.
How's your catering business going? Who says anything's wrong? Why wouldn't everything be okay? I know what you're thinking.
You're jealous.
No, I'm not.
You'd like to see me fail, wouldn't you? Yeah.
Oh, god.
Hey, Carol.
You okay? Oh, Charley! Whoa, I got to write a thank you note to the makers of this aftershave.
Oh, Charley.
I'm so miserable, and I've got no one to talk to.
If I talk to you, would you promise not to be disgusting for a while? Do you think you could handle that? You want to talk to me? You mean, like, confide in me? Believe me, if there were anyone else, I wouldn't even consider it.
Aw, hey, kid, come on, sit down.
You just tell uncle Charley what the trouble is.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
Well, it's like this, Charley.
Would it be all right if I didn't call you by your name? I think it would help if I pretend that you're someone else.
What the hell? Make it easy on yourself.
Thank you.
Well, it's like this, mister.
My big order turned out to be a complete phony.
I quit my job, I'm out of money, I'm in debt up to my ears, and I'm a complete failure.
Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Now what kind of talk is that? You know, you say things like that, and pretty soon, you start to believe 'em.
Well, yeah.
I suppose you're right.
This is so cool! We're like really relating to each other, aren't we? Please, I feel bad enough.
Well, I hope it all works out for ya.
Is your dad home? I want to know if I can borrow his tux.
My club's having their annual party.
What club? What party? Oh, this group I belong to.
Every year, we have this big bash.
- Who's catering it? - Well, I don't know.
The same people that always do, I guess.
Well, forget them! They're no good! They use animal fat! Well, you don't even know who they are.
It doesn't matter, Charley.
Use me! I'm better, I'm cheaper, I'm cleaner, I'm quicker, and I've got 200 dinners ready to go.
Take it easy, Carol.
You're starting to scare me.
Please, Charley.
I've got to have this job.
Give it to me.
Well, you know, I, I'd, uh, really like to help you out, Carol, but I, you know, I don't think you'd like my club.
Why, what kind of a club is it? Well, it's a bunch of guys like me, with similar interests.
It's called the stallion society.
I'll take it.
I mean, how much can liability insurance cost? Okay, sprinklers, sprinklers are expensive.
Daddy, can I talk to you? Is this about your catering business? - Yes, it is.
- I'm leaving.
- I have something to confess.
- I'm staying.
What is it, Carol? I didn't get that big order I was expecting.
The one that was so good you quit your job and staked your entire future, including every penny you had on it? Why are you rubbing it in? Just recapping.
Well, as it happens, I have a chance at another job, but it means working for a group whose beliefs go against every moral, ethical, and spiritual principle that I hold dear.
What are they, Republicans? Honey, just because you do business with somebody doesn't mean that you endorse their beliefs.
So are you saying I should take the job, daddy? Oh, no, no, no.
I, I, I, I don't want to interfere.
No, it's all right.
I'm asking you.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Are you sure? Yes, you have my permission.
Very well.
Take the job! You just take it.
That's my advice.
Listen to me.
I'm your father.
I know best.
Just do it! Do what I tell you! Boy, that felt good.
I guess you're right, daddy.
I should take the job.
Not my it's not my fault.
I mean, she asked me.
She practically begged me.
It's not interfering when she asks herself.
Daddy, relax.
I didn't say you interfered.
I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to me.
Stay out of this.
Enjoy.
Ah, hey, there she is, right there.
Oh, hi, daddy, Barbara.
Thank you for coming down.
I really need help.
I've been telling you that for years.
Is this the job you were agonizing about? Oh, no, daddy.
My conscience wouldn't let me take that one.
I'm sorry, I finally let you give me advice, and then I didn't take it.
Who are all these people? They're from the neighborhood.
They're homeless.
I had all this food.
I wanted them to have it.
Carol, you are a wonderful lady.
This is a terrific thing you're doing here.
Well, thank you, daddy.
Now, come on! You dish out the coq au vin.
- Okay.
- And, Barbara You can serve the boeuf en croute.
Okay.
We're serving boeuf en croute? Excuse me, are you the one who's responsible for all this? Uh, yes, yes, I am.
The sauce is awful rich.
We have cholesterol problems, too, you know.
Oh, honey, look, I know you're having a rough time right now.
Now, how much would it take to keep you in business? Ah, thank you, daddy, but I don't need your money.
I found a last minute lender.
Can I have the money you're not giving Carol? Get off me! You can't keep on borrowing money, dear.
The interest is going to kill you! But it's all deducible from my income tax.
Yes, but what you don't understand is, you have to have an income to deduct it from.
Now, what I would do here is this: Mind my own business.
Thanks for not saying anything to daddy about giving me the money.
Shut up! You saved my life with this loan.
Shut up! You are the best sister anyone could ever have.
I'll never be able to repay you.
Daddy! Doctor, this is Kathy Larkin, the new patient referred by Dr.
fleishman, and this is her father.
Mr.
Larkin, how are you? Kathy? Are you married? Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo! Good, a giggler.
We'll get along just fine.
Kathy, you go on in with doctor.
I just need to get a little more information from your father.
I'll be along in a minute, sweetheart.
Let's see what you got here.
Okay, everything seems to be in order.
I just need your insurance card and the name of your employer.
Oh, that's kimmel motors.
Kimmel motors? You work for kimmel motors? I'm the service manager there.
Bud? You bud Larkin? You've been givin' me the runaround all week about my car! I'm Laverne Todd.
Oh.
Hi! Um, here's my insurance card.
Card? Sorry, bud, I'm gonna need to see the policy.
The policy? But, but that's at home.
Uh-oh.
Let me ask you, how often do you bring in your daughter for the recommended maintenance? Now, look, maybe I should just take my daughter and go.
Oh, I'm sorry.
We're gonna have to keep her overnight.
We're havin' trouble gettin' parts.
- Now, look - I'm just so sorry.
But you know what? We'll give you a loaner.
We keep a bunch of kids out back.
Course, they're kind of old and beat up.
Okay, okay, you win.
You'll have your car at 5:00.
That's mighty nice of you.
You'll have your daughter at 5:05.