Girl Code (2013) s04e04 Episode Script
Nudity; Listening; Guilt
1 Is it okay if I do this the whole time? Is it okay if I do this? Um, being naked is like Being naked is really fun.
It can be, like, super weird.
Yeah.
I wish we were both naked right now.
Listen up, ladies.
It's "Girl Code.
" On this episode of "Girl Code" It's that voice in the back of your head that makes you feel bad about eating all of the ice cream.
Guilt.
Also, just because we hear you doesn't mean we're paying attention.
We're learning how to listen.
Then, our code qualifiers take your issues to task on Ask Girl Code.
I hate to make it gross, but let's talk about sometimes when you fart and you're sitting down, it goes up, kind of in the front, like, ooh.
That's kinda fun.
That's the worst.
But first We were born like this, but it's usually hard to feel flawless when it comes to being naked.
I love being naked.
My best friend Katrina, because we live in a studio, hates it, 'cause I always walk around naked, and I'll throw, like, a right titty in her face.
Just 'cause.
I'd like to wear as little amount of clothing as possible.
If I could get away with just, like, wearing a little denim strip over my labia, that's what I would do.
I love being naked.
I feel like I mean, everybody has a body, so You know, it's nothing, it's just like skin and some body parts.
I like being naked, it's totally cool.
I mean, (bleep), are you asking me to get naked? Let's do this (bleep).
Do you have another question? Well, being naked as a kid means bathtime, and then being naked as an adult means sexytime, which needs a bath afterwards.
I remember my brother, my twin brother and I would take baths together and then we would go naked and jump on the bed and we would sing the song, "You have a penis, I have a vagina," and his was, "You have a vagina, I have a penis," but we probably mixed it up and that's where I got all these gender issues.
My sister saw my dad naked and said, I want one of those.
His (bleep).
Is she a lesbian, too? No, we don't want (bleep) That's not what being a lesbian means.
Well I feel like I'm teaching a lot by sitting next to you.
Great.
This is what a gay person looks like.
Being naked in a gym locker room blows my mind.
There are women who are It's, like, always the older women, and they're having full conversations, fully naked, bush just rocking out, and they're like, oh, Joan, how are the kids? And she's like, well, Antonio is now in law school.
Great.
My Morton, he's in law school.
It's like, your bush is out! It seems like the people who go to the gym are looking to just, like, creep up and, like, pick up their legs and, like, give you a zoom all the way into their uterus, and I'm like, please don't, like, I don't want to know you like that.
Everybody has imperfections with their body, everybody has, like, a certain way that they are, so you just gotta learn to accept that and love that, because chances are, the girl that you're sitting in the locker room with and she's looking at you naked, she feels a way about her body, too.
If you think you have a (bleep) weird body, but you are just, like, have no problem showing it, no one is gonna say (bleep) to you, and if they do and you tell them to (bleep) off, like, you just won high school.
I feel like girls should be the ones who want to get naked more than men because girls' bodies are, like, look like works of art where my body just looks like a bag of trash.
Right before I see a guy naked, I'm just like, I want see his (bleep), I want to s his (bleep), oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, I'm gonna s his (bleep).
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait Oh, my God, that's his (bleep).
And then that's it, after that, it's just like, yeah, okay.
I mean, I've definitely unwrapped a present that I wanted to return the next day if you know what I mean.
When you're getting naked in front of a guy, I don't think you should do lights on or lights off.
I think you go somewhere in the middle.
I call it cellu-lighting.
I'm most insecure about my thighs when I'm naked, 'cause they look like lava is just spreading out, 'cause there's so many divots and, like, holes and It's like very jiggly and they're moving around a lot.
My thighs move when I'm not even breathing.
When are you not breathing? When I do a test to see if my thighs will still move.
I feel like fat girls get real self-conscious about being naked and they shouldn't! Because it's more cushion for the pushin', and some guys like fat women.
Light a candle, that's perfect, everyone looks good in a candle.
But remember to blow it out, because you're gonna burn yo (bleep) house down.
You don't want to die with t mother (bleep).
It's the first time you (bleep) him.
If you feel uncomfortable being naked, I always tell people to get a spray tan because it makes you look more fit and less dead.
I gotta get one.
Some people need to be in shape in order to be comfortable being naked, and some people don't.
Some people are just happy with their flabby flabs.
You know? Like most men.
Coming up, it's the guilt that keeps on giving.
Society loves to make women feel guilty, like, that's kind of the game, is, like, women should be guilty for being women.
We're kind of born guilty, We're like, oh, you're not a man? What's up with that? I want to be in charge of the money.
You're not allowed.
Why not? Because, you're a woman.
It says right here women can't be in charge of money.
What's this game called again? It's Manopoly, the new board game that's so much like real life, it's almost not a game at all.
Oh, I passed yes.
$300, please.
Me too! Pay me.
You only get $230.
Why? Manopoly.
Fun for the whole family, as long as they're all men.
Yes.
No, no, no.
You gotta pick a secretary card.
But, what if I wanna be an executive? Don't be silly.
Manopoly.
You can be pretty or smart, but not both.
Yes, River Canyon! I'm gonna buy it.
Not without your husband or your dad.
What? I'm sorry, who invented this game? There's something for everyone.
What's period jail? Oh, I landed on the smile space! I get to tell you to smile and if you don't, you need to go back to start while I yell at you.
What? Smile! Your boss finds you too attractive.
$10 fine.
Great, well, there's the rest of my money.
It is impossible to win this.
Manopoly.
It's just life, so quit complaining and have fun with it.
Boom! The cards may be stacked against you, so we should all know how to play up the guilt.
Guilt is when you do something and you're like, oh! I feel in my heart that I don't feel good.
I feel guilty.
It's almost like you ate too much cheese, but it's not actual cheese, it's just, like, emotional cheese, you're just like, oh! You just have, like, chills, just guilty cheese chills.
That's guilt.
I feel guilty because I was late to work today.
Sorry.
Society loves to make women feel guilty.
That's kind of the game, it's, like, women should be guilty for being women.
We're kind of born guilty, we're like, oh, you're not a man? What's up with that? I feel like girls do guilt themselves.
like, one of my friends was, like, cheating on his girlfriend, like, left and right, and then she found out and she's like, it's my fault.
I'm just like, what? I was like, look, I'm not one to break like any type of code, but I was like, it's really not.
Women feel that all the time.
Girls be guiltin' themselves on the regular.
Women be shopping and guilting themselves afterwards.
You guys give guilt and feel guilt for everything.
You ever seen a woman try and eat a cupcake? I've never felt so much stress in my entire life.
I never make myself feel guilty about (bleep), even if I'm, like, trying to diet, which is never, but if I do, I'm like, oh, I just messed it all up, I have to start all over again, I feel so guilty.
I don't No.
I wanted that (bleep) donut, I ate the donut, I (bleep) and I feel good.
Some people are vegan because they feel guilty about animals.
I'm all like, kill 'em.
Explain.
Just kill 'em.
Did my parents ever make me feel guilty? Does a bear (bleep) in the woods and wipe his ass with a rabbit? Yes.
I was brought up in a conservative home.
So We can't do nothing.
They would say things like, Awkwafina, did you know that if you were born in China, that you would be putting in the hairs of the Barbie doll? With two little chopsticks? Moms were created just to guilt us.
They're guilting machines.
Like, my mom, I feel like, would be happy, if I would crawl back into her uterus.
Like, I feel like on a daily basis, she's guilting me for just being outside of her uterus.
You know, when people gui you, they never just say wha they want you to do.
Mm-hmm.
They'll just be like, it would be really nice If you could find the time.
If you could just find th time to call your grandma today.
I mean, she's alone in that house.
It's like, who's gonna be like, oh, no thanks.
Hi, sweetie.
Um Just calling because I haven't heard our voice in a while and I miss my baby.
Okay, bye.
Rip my heart in half, I feel so guilty, I'm sorry, Mommy, please still love me.
I have a couple of friends who like to guilt me for things that aren't my fault, they're like, I was so lonely this weekend.
And I'm like, oh, that's weird, you didn't text me, so I couldn't read your mind.
Like, if a friend's guilting you all the time, be like, listen, Quinn, I'm not gay.
If I was, I would like you.
I would like you.
But, like, but don't you wanna be gay? But don't you want to be gay I want to be gay, but it's not a choice.
Be gay.
It's not a choice.
It is a choice for you.
It's something you're born with.
I'll choose for you, you're gay.
The biggest guilt that everyone gets Come on, let's go out.
No, let's go.
You're not gonna stay home, let's go out.
You'll meet somebody.
Guilt from your friends can be good, 'cause it can really keep you out of trouble, like, if your friends see you doing, like, some self-destructive behavior, like, it's like, dude, every time I talk to you, you're hungover.
Maybe you should stop drinking so much.
That's cool guilt.
That's guilt that'll keep you healthy and alive.
I don't use guilt to, like, help people.
I use guilt to be like, do you remember that time when you made me feel not nice? Will you please buy me a cocktail right now? Thank you, that made it feel a little bit better.
I don't like resorting to guilt in a relationship to make the person do what I want, but I am a big believer of the motto, pout and you shall receive.
Ahh I've used guilt to get what I want in a relationship and I will tell you the number-one thing I want in a relationship, and that's a mother (bleep) massage.
I think you should save it for the big stuff, and not the, you know, oh, you left the towel on the floor, oh, you did this.
I think you should save it for the, did you just like ten of this bitch's pictures in a row at 3:00 in the morning and I saw you? You don't want to guilt them into, like, texting you, or telling you who they were with or why, or taking you out or, like, having sex with you, which is, like, the craziest thing ever.
If you're guilting someone into having sex with you, that is insane.
Dump that mother (bleep) and delete his number out your phone.
Coming up, just because we hear you, doesn't mean we're listening.
Girls talk a lot, like, I have to listen to a lot of (bleep).
Yeah, yeah.
I think it's harder for you, 'cause you have to, like, list to a girl.
If I had to listen to a girl all the time, I'd be like, blech, - I'm not a lesbian anymore.
- Yeah.
Let's all take a minute to bow down to Kathryn Bigelow.
She's a kick-ass director, producer and screenwriter.
And she's the first woman to win an Academy Award for best director for her movie, "The Hurt Locker.
" And in that same year, she beat her ex-husband in the same category, so the next time that you feel like the odds are against you, just remember that Kathryn Bigelow paved the way for women in film and she beat her ex in the process, so let's all take a minute to bow down to Kathryn Bigelow.
Welcome back to "Girl Code.
" Whether you're the talker or the talkee, you can save everyone a lot of trouble if you're actually listening.
Listening is Listening Hold on.
Listening To you and your questions Listening is so important, like, you need to be a good listener to be a good friend, to be a good girlfriend, boyfriend.
To be good in anything, you have to just shut up and listen.
Sorry, what? Stupid joke? Okay.
That's me not listening.
That's the joke.
I hate myself.
Listening and hearing are definitely completely different things.
Listening is when you're actually trying to understand, like, what the person is trying to communicate, like, not just what they're saying, but how they're saying it.
Do they want something from you? Are they, like, expressing an emotion? And hearing is just, like, oh, sounds.
Cool! I love sounds.
I think a good listener is somebody that makes you know that they're paying attention to you and they're really, really understand what you're saying and they're not being creepy and just, like, staring at you in a very, like, lesbian type I'm kidding.
I'm a great listener, sometimes.
Other times, people talk and I'm like Uh-oh.
They're gonna stop and I'm gonna have to respond.
The best listeners are super patient, usually easygoing, usually have very low standards of friends.
Lonely.
So basically, losers are good listeners, because, really, how else are you gonna get popular? I think to be a good listener, you have to You can be a good listener.
You have to want to have with that person.
Yes, for sure.
That's it.
Yes, 100%.
100%, you're right.
You won.
A good way to see if someone's listening to you is just ask them, are you listening? So you just go, are you listening to me? And then if they, like, get a little startled, they were not listening to you in the slightest.
I don't know if you're listening to me, 'cause I talked about how stupid girls look in heels sometimes and you guys still look stupid.
Why'd you leave the house looking like that? You look like a dinosaur stomping around.
All of a sudden, your arms are like this and you gotta move like that just to get across the street.
You look stupid.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when somebody's talking to you and then they're looking beyond you for someone better.
Like, what, am I not good enough? My cable TV credits aren't good enough for you? If you say anything to me and I go.
.
"That's a good idea.
" I'm not listening.
I didn't listen to a thing you just said.
"That's crazy," and "oh, for real?" That's how I know you're not listening.
89.
9% of the time, it's your fault someone is not listening to you.
You are boring as (bleep).
And you are talking about yourself or your stupid boyfriend too much and then people just go, uh-huh, yeah, okay, sure.
Filing nails and whatnot, so don't be boring.
Fake listening is actually very important to a relationship because a lot of times, we don't really want someone to listen, we just want someone to hear.
When I'm fake listening, you can tell, 'cause this is what I look like.
Just try to be as normal as possible.
Just try and, like, strip it like, just just stop doing stuff.
All right.
You're obviously not listening to me, now.
I wish somebody would giv advice, how to be a good listener in a relationship.
My boyfriend listens to everything I say and all I do, is, like, ignore, ignore, ignore.
I think being a good listener is just one of those things that comes along when you're invested.
When you're invested in something, you wanna do everything that you can do to get a great return.
I'm a good listener in my relationships.
Liar.
I am.
My boyfriend doesn't talk a lot.
That's why.
Girls talk a lot.
Like, I have to listen to a lot of (bleep).
Yeah, yeah.
I think it's harder for you 'cause you have to, like, listen to a girl, like, if I had to listen to a girl all the time, I would be like, blech, I'm not a lesbian anymore.
If you want a guy to listen to you, here's what you have to do.
Go to another room, get an XBox Live, put on the headset and talk to him while he's playing.
Fight levels together, and in the meantime, you can talk about how terrible your boss is.
Now I'll listen to you.
Someone stole your Lean Cuisine? That's terrible.
Now shoot that guy.
Oh, you could totally make your boyfriend a better listener.
Just, you gotta stop (bleep) him.
You got to.
Be like, wait, I told you earlier what to get from the store.
Were you not listening? Well, you know, I forgot.
Oh, you forgot? Well, I forgot to (bleep) you tonight.
It's gonna be funny.
It's gonna be funny after a month when I forgot to (bleep) you every day.
Real quick.
They get into shape real fast, trust me, use it.
Coming up Things get a little bunched up on Ask Girl Code.
I'm always camel toe-ing, always, I love it.
Wait, you also have a big vagina, then? Yeah, big chubby labia.
Yeah.
It just always looks hungry for fabric, whenever I wear pants.
It's like Munch it up.
It's normal to, like, wipe your butt after you poop and then just want to, like, inspect it a little bit, right? Like, not touching it, just, like, looking at it? Asking for a friend.
Welcome back to "Girl Code.
" If at first you don't succeed, you can try, try again.
Or just Ask Girl Code.
DangerousLove5 asks, is it a crime if I run around town without a bra? No way.
No, no way.
Oh, my gosh.
Let 'em be free.
Yeah.
Let them titties out.
Do you know how much happ we'd all be as women if we all never wore bras? Yeah, bras were never invented.
'Cause you know who they invented for.
It was not for us.
It was Why? 'Cause they were distressing, or? It was, like, a corset-y thing for beer maidens.
Like, if you watch, like, "Game of Thrones," or whatever, they're always, like, serving meat and stuff, and they've got, like, their tits up here.
"Game of Thrones" isn't legit.
The girls have, like They don't have even bushes on "Game of Thrones.
" Well, when's the last time you just didn't wear a bra? Like, what's happening? I always have on a bra.
I have issues with, like, the slope of my boob and I always want them under my chin.
Me too, me too! I sleep in a bra.
I slept in a bra until, like, college, and then I was just, like, okay, this is what they do.
When they're big, it's not comfortable having not a bra They literally flop around.
It could get caught under things.
Yes.
Yes.
It's why I wear underwear 'cause I just I have that problem too.
I got a big vagina too.
I'm always camel toe-ing, always, I love it.
Wait, you also have a big vagina, then? Yeah, big chubby labia.
Yeah.
It just always looks hung for fabric whenever I wear pants.
It's like Munch it up.
@ghostgurl asked, is it okay to change yourself when nobody at school / work likes you? Oh No, you shouldn't change yourself.
You should just find people who like you for who you are.
Yeah, right? I feel like I'm a weirdo.
I found you guys.
Yeah.
It sounds like ghostgurl is in a (bleep) work / school situation, which we've all been in.
I've gone to schools where people hated me, I've worked at jobs where everybody hated me, but I know that changing myself, like, to please those people would not have made me into a person I like, you know? Yeah, totally, 'cause when you're at school or at work, you don't really choose the people you're surrounded by.
Exactly.
So you get stuck with a lot of, like, randos, and you have nothing in common and then of course they don't like you, 'cause, like, you like weird stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah, like I didn't reall have a lot of friends until I found theater.
Right.
@helloiamname asks, is it weird that I like it when my booty muscles are twitching after I work out? Yeah, so weird.
I don't know what she's talking I've never had a butt twitch.
Oh, really? Well, I don't work out, but sometimes when I walk and move my body, my muscles are like, oh, don't do that, you don't use those enough, and then I get, like, leg twitches and butt twitches.
But what's How is it twitching? Is it going, like or is it Is it like Beyoncé in the "7/11" video and it's just, moving on its own? Like, can you see the twitch? I bet it's an internal feeling.
I hate to make it gross, but let's talk about sometimes when you fart and you're sitting down, it goes up.
Kind of in the front, like, ooh.
That's kind of fun.
That's the worst.
It can be, like, super weird.
Yeah.
I wish we were both naked right now.
Listen up, ladies.
It's "Girl Code.
" On this episode of "Girl Code" It's that voice in the back of your head that makes you feel bad about eating all of the ice cream.
Guilt.
Also, just because we hear you doesn't mean we're paying attention.
We're learning how to listen.
Then, our code qualifiers take your issues to task on Ask Girl Code.
I hate to make it gross, but let's talk about sometimes when you fart and you're sitting down, it goes up, kind of in the front, like, ooh.
That's kinda fun.
That's the worst.
But first We were born like this, but it's usually hard to feel flawless when it comes to being naked.
I love being naked.
My best friend Katrina, because we live in a studio, hates it, 'cause I always walk around naked, and I'll throw, like, a right titty in her face.
Just 'cause.
I'd like to wear as little amount of clothing as possible.
If I could get away with just, like, wearing a little denim strip over my labia, that's what I would do.
I love being naked.
I feel like I mean, everybody has a body, so You know, it's nothing, it's just like skin and some body parts.
I like being naked, it's totally cool.
I mean, (bleep), are you asking me to get naked? Let's do this (bleep).
Do you have another question? Well, being naked as a kid means bathtime, and then being naked as an adult means sexytime, which needs a bath afterwards.
I remember my brother, my twin brother and I would take baths together and then we would go naked and jump on the bed and we would sing the song, "You have a penis, I have a vagina," and his was, "You have a vagina, I have a penis," but we probably mixed it up and that's where I got all these gender issues.
My sister saw my dad naked and said, I want one of those.
His (bleep).
Is she a lesbian, too? No, we don't want (bleep) That's not what being a lesbian means.
Well I feel like I'm teaching a lot by sitting next to you.
Great.
This is what a gay person looks like.
Being naked in a gym locker room blows my mind.
There are women who are It's, like, always the older women, and they're having full conversations, fully naked, bush just rocking out, and they're like, oh, Joan, how are the kids? And she's like, well, Antonio is now in law school.
Great.
My Morton, he's in law school.
It's like, your bush is out! It seems like the people who go to the gym are looking to just, like, creep up and, like, pick up their legs and, like, give you a zoom all the way into their uterus, and I'm like, please don't, like, I don't want to know you like that.
Everybody has imperfections with their body, everybody has, like, a certain way that they are, so you just gotta learn to accept that and love that, because chances are, the girl that you're sitting in the locker room with and she's looking at you naked, she feels a way about her body, too.
If you think you have a (bleep) weird body, but you are just, like, have no problem showing it, no one is gonna say (bleep) to you, and if they do and you tell them to (bleep) off, like, you just won high school.
I feel like girls should be the ones who want to get naked more than men because girls' bodies are, like, look like works of art where my body just looks like a bag of trash.
Right before I see a guy naked, I'm just like, I want see his (bleep), I want to s his (bleep), oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, I'm gonna s his (bleep).
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait Oh, my God, that's his (bleep).
And then that's it, after that, it's just like, yeah, okay.
I mean, I've definitely unwrapped a present that I wanted to return the next day if you know what I mean.
When you're getting naked in front of a guy, I don't think you should do lights on or lights off.
I think you go somewhere in the middle.
I call it cellu-lighting.
I'm most insecure about my thighs when I'm naked, 'cause they look like lava is just spreading out, 'cause there's so many divots and, like, holes and It's like very jiggly and they're moving around a lot.
My thighs move when I'm not even breathing.
When are you not breathing? When I do a test to see if my thighs will still move.
I feel like fat girls get real self-conscious about being naked and they shouldn't! Because it's more cushion for the pushin', and some guys like fat women.
Light a candle, that's perfect, everyone looks good in a candle.
But remember to blow it out, because you're gonna burn yo (bleep) house down.
You don't want to die with t mother (bleep).
It's the first time you (bleep) him.
If you feel uncomfortable being naked, I always tell people to get a spray tan because it makes you look more fit and less dead.
I gotta get one.
Some people need to be in shape in order to be comfortable being naked, and some people don't.
Some people are just happy with their flabby flabs.
You know? Like most men.
Coming up, it's the guilt that keeps on giving.
Society loves to make women feel guilty, like, that's kind of the game, is, like, women should be guilty for being women.
We're kind of born guilty, We're like, oh, you're not a man? What's up with that? I want to be in charge of the money.
You're not allowed.
Why not? Because, you're a woman.
It says right here women can't be in charge of money.
What's this game called again? It's Manopoly, the new board game that's so much like real life, it's almost not a game at all.
Oh, I passed yes.
$300, please.
Me too! Pay me.
You only get $230.
Why? Manopoly.
Fun for the whole family, as long as they're all men.
Yes.
No, no, no.
You gotta pick a secretary card.
But, what if I wanna be an executive? Don't be silly.
Manopoly.
You can be pretty or smart, but not both.
Yes, River Canyon! I'm gonna buy it.
Not without your husband or your dad.
What? I'm sorry, who invented this game? There's something for everyone.
What's period jail? Oh, I landed on the smile space! I get to tell you to smile and if you don't, you need to go back to start while I yell at you.
What? Smile! Your boss finds you too attractive.
$10 fine.
Great, well, there's the rest of my money.
It is impossible to win this.
Manopoly.
It's just life, so quit complaining and have fun with it.
Boom! The cards may be stacked against you, so we should all know how to play up the guilt.
Guilt is when you do something and you're like, oh! I feel in my heart that I don't feel good.
I feel guilty.
It's almost like you ate too much cheese, but it's not actual cheese, it's just, like, emotional cheese, you're just like, oh! You just have, like, chills, just guilty cheese chills.
That's guilt.
I feel guilty because I was late to work today.
Sorry.
Society loves to make women feel guilty.
That's kind of the game, it's, like, women should be guilty for being women.
We're kind of born guilty, we're like, oh, you're not a man? What's up with that? I feel like girls do guilt themselves.
like, one of my friends was, like, cheating on his girlfriend, like, left and right, and then she found out and she's like, it's my fault.
I'm just like, what? I was like, look, I'm not one to break like any type of code, but I was like, it's really not.
Women feel that all the time.
Girls be guiltin' themselves on the regular.
Women be shopping and guilting themselves afterwards.
You guys give guilt and feel guilt for everything.
You ever seen a woman try and eat a cupcake? I've never felt so much stress in my entire life.
I never make myself feel guilty about (bleep), even if I'm, like, trying to diet, which is never, but if I do, I'm like, oh, I just messed it all up, I have to start all over again, I feel so guilty.
I don't No.
I wanted that (bleep) donut, I ate the donut, I (bleep) and I feel good.
Some people are vegan because they feel guilty about animals.
I'm all like, kill 'em.
Explain.
Just kill 'em.
Did my parents ever make me feel guilty? Does a bear (bleep) in the woods and wipe his ass with a rabbit? Yes.
I was brought up in a conservative home.
So We can't do nothing.
They would say things like, Awkwafina, did you know that if you were born in China, that you would be putting in the hairs of the Barbie doll? With two little chopsticks? Moms were created just to guilt us.
They're guilting machines.
Like, my mom, I feel like, would be happy, if I would crawl back into her uterus.
Like, I feel like on a daily basis, she's guilting me for just being outside of her uterus.
You know, when people gui you, they never just say wha they want you to do.
Mm-hmm.
They'll just be like, it would be really nice If you could find the time.
If you could just find th time to call your grandma today.
I mean, she's alone in that house.
It's like, who's gonna be like, oh, no thanks.
Hi, sweetie.
Um Just calling because I haven't heard our voice in a while and I miss my baby.
Okay, bye.
Rip my heart in half, I feel so guilty, I'm sorry, Mommy, please still love me.
I have a couple of friends who like to guilt me for things that aren't my fault, they're like, I was so lonely this weekend.
And I'm like, oh, that's weird, you didn't text me, so I couldn't read your mind.
Like, if a friend's guilting you all the time, be like, listen, Quinn, I'm not gay.
If I was, I would like you.
I would like you.
But, like, but don't you wanna be gay? But don't you want to be gay I want to be gay, but it's not a choice.
Be gay.
It's not a choice.
It is a choice for you.
It's something you're born with.
I'll choose for you, you're gay.
The biggest guilt that everyone gets Come on, let's go out.
No, let's go.
You're not gonna stay home, let's go out.
You'll meet somebody.
Guilt from your friends can be good, 'cause it can really keep you out of trouble, like, if your friends see you doing, like, some self-destructive behavior, like, it's like, dude, every time I talk to you, you're hungover.
Maybe you should stop drinking so much.
That's cool guilt.
That's guilt that'll keep you healthy and alive.
I don't use guilt to, like, help people.
I use guilt to be like, do you remember that time when you made me feel not nice? Will you please buy me a cocktail right now? Thank you, that made it feel a little bit better.
I don't like resorting to guilt in a relationship to make the person do what I want, but I am a big believer of the motto, pout and you shall receive.
Ahh I've used guilt to get what I want in a relationship and I will tell you the number-one thing I want in a relationship, and that's a mother (bleep) massage.
I think you should save it for the big stuff, and not the, you know, oh, you left the towel on the floor, oh, you did this.
I think you should save it for the, did you just like ten of this bitch's pictures in a row at 3:00 in the morning and I saw you? You don't want to guilt them into, like, texting you, or telling you who they were with or why, or taking you out or, like, having sex with you, which is, like, the craziest thing ever.
If you're guilting someone into having sex with you, that is insane.
Dump that mother (bleep) and delete his number out your phone.
Coming up, just because we hear you, doesn't mean we're listening.
Girls talk a lot, like, I have to listen to a lot of (bleep).
Yeah, yeah.
I think it's harder for you, 'cause you have to, like, list to a girl.
If I had to listen to a girl all the time, I'd be like, blech, - I'm not a lesbian anymore.
- Yeah.
Let's all take a minute to bow down to Kathryn Bigelow.
She's a kick-ass director, producer and screenwriter.
And she's the first woman to win an Academy Award for best director for her movie, "The Hurt Locker.
" And in that same year, she beat her ex-husband in the same category, so the next time that you feel like the odds are against you, just remember that Kathryn Bigelow paved the way for women in film and she beat her ex in the process, so let's all take a minute to bow down to Kathryn Bigelow.
Welcome back to "Girl Code.
" Whether you're the talker or the talkee, you can save everyone a lot of trouble if you're actually listening.
Listening is Listening Hold on.
Listening To you and your questions Listening is so important, like, you need to be a good listener to be a good friend, to be a good girlfriend, boyfriend.
To be good in anything, you have to just shut up and listen.
Sorry, what? Stupid joke? Okay.
That's me not listening.
That's the joke.
I hate myself.
Listening and hearing are definitely completely different things.
Listening is when you're actually trying to understand, like, what the person is trying to communicate, like, not just what they're saying, but how they're saying it.
Do they want something from you? Are they, like, expressing an emotion? And hearing is just, like, oh, sounds.
Cool! I love sounds.
I think a good listener is somebody that makes you know that they're paying attention to you and they're really, really understand what you're saying and they're not being creepy and just, like, staring at you in a very, like, lesbian type I'm kidding.
I'm a great listener, sometimes.
Other times, people talk and I'm like Uh-oh.
They're gonna stop and I'm gonna have to respond.
The best listeners are super patient, usually easygoing, usually have very low standards of friends.
Lonely.
So basically, losers are good listeners, because, really, how else are you gonna get popular? I think to be a good listener, you have to You can be a good listener.
You have to want to have with that person.
Yes, for sure.
That's it.
Yes, 100%.
100%, you're right.
You won.
A good way to see if someone's listening to you is just ask them, are you listening? So you just go, are you listening to me? And then if they, like, get a little startled, they were not listening to you in the slightest.
I don't know if you're listening to me, 'cause I talked about how stupid girls look in heels sometimes and you guys still look stupid.
Why'd you leave the house looking like that? You look like a dinosaur stomping around.
All of a sudden, your arms are like this and you gotta move like that just to get across the street.
You look stupid.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when somebody's talking to you and then they're looking beyond you for someone better.
Like, what, am I not good enough? My cable TV credits aren't good enough for you? If you say anything to me and I go.
.
"That's a good idea.
" I'm not listening.
I didn't listen to a thing you just said.
"That's crazy," and "oh, for real?" That's how I know you're not listening.
89.
9% of the time, it's your fault someone is not listening to you.
You are boring as (bleep).
And you are talking about yourself or your stupid boyfriend too much and then people just go, uh-huh, yeah, okay, sure.
Filing nails and whatnot, so don't be boring.
Fake listening is actually very important to a relationship because a lot of times, we don't really want someone to listen, we just want someone to hear.
When I'm fake listening, you can tell, 'cause this is what I look like.
Just try to be as normal as possible.
Just try and, like, strip it like, just just stop doing stuff.
All right.
You're obviously not listening to me, now.
I wish somebody would giv advice, how to be a good listener in a relationship.
My boyfriend listens to everything I say and all I do, is, like, ignore, ignore, ignore.
I think being a good listener is just one of those things that comes along when you're invested.
When you're invested in something, you wanna do everything that you can do to get a great return.
I'm a good listener in my relationships.
Liar.
I am.
My boyfriend doesn't talk a lot.
That's why.
Girls talk a lot.
Like, I have to listen to a lot of (bleep).
Yeah, yeah.
I think it's harder for you 'cause you have to, like, listen to a girl, like, if I had to listen to a girl all the time, I would be like, blech, I'm not a lesbian anymore.
If you want a guy to listen to you, here's what you have to do.
Go to another room, get an XBox Live, put on the headset and talk to him while he's playing.
Fight levels together, and in the meantime, you can talk about how terrible your boss is.
Now I'll listen to you.
Someone stole your Lean Cuisine? That's terrible.
Now shoot that guy.
Oh, you could totally make your boyfriend a better listener.
Just, you gotta stop (bleep) him.
You got to.
Be like, wait, I told you earlier what to get from the store.
Were you not listening? Well, you know, I forgot.
Oh, you forgot? Well, I forgot to (bleep) you tonight.
It's gonna be funny.
It's gonna be funny after a month when I forgot to (bleep) you every day.
Real quick.
They get into shape real fast, trust me, use it.
Coming up Things get a little bunched up on Ask Girl Code.
I'm always camel toe-ing, always, I love it.
Wait, you also have a big vagina, then? Yeah, big chubby labia.
Yeah.
It just always looks hungry for fabric, whenever I wear pants.
It's like Munch it up.
It's normal to, like, wipe your butt after you poop and then just want to, like, inspect it a little bit, right? Like, not touching it, just, like, looking at it? Asking for a friend.
Welcome back to "Girl Code.
" If at first you don't succeed, you can try, try again.
Or just Ask Girl Code.
DangerousLove5 asks, is it a crime if I run around town without a bra? No way.
No, no way.
Oh, my gosh.
Let 'em be free.
Yeah.
Let them titties out.
Do you know how much happ we'd all be as women if we all never wore bras? Yeah, bras were never invented.
'Cause you know who they invented for.
It was not for us.
It was Why? 'Cause they were distressing, or? It was, like, a corset-y thing for beer maidens.
Like, if you watch, like, "Game of Thrones," or whatever, they're always, like, serving meat and stuff, and they've got, like, their tits up here.
"Game of Thrones" isn't legit.
The girls have, like They don't have even bushes on "Game of Thrones.
" Well, when's the last time you just didn't wear a bra? Like, what's happening? I always have on a bra.
I have issues with, like, the slope of my boob and I always want them under my chin.
Me too, me too! I sleep in a bra.
I slept in a bra until, like, college, and then I was just, like, okay, this is what they do.
When they're big, it's not comfortable having not a bra They literally flop around.
It could get caught under things.
Yes.
Yes.
It's why I wear underwear 'cause I just I have that problem too.
I got a big vagina too.
I'm always camel toe-ing, always, I love it.
Wait, you also have a big vagina, then? Yeah, big chubby labia.
Yeah.
It just always looks hung for fabric whenever I wear pants.
It's like Munch it up.
@ghostgurl asked, is it okay to change yourself when nobody at school / work likes you? Oh No, you shouldn't change yourself.
You should just find people who like you for who you are.
Yeah, right? I feel like I'm a weirdo.
I found you guys.
Yeah.
It sounds like ghostgurl is in a (bleep) work / school situation, which we've all been in.
I've gone to schools where people hated me, I've worked at jobs where everybody hated me, but I know that changing myself, like, to please those people would not have made me into a person I like, you know? Yeah, totally, 'cause when you're at school or at work, you don't really choose the people you're surrounded by.
Exactly.
So you get stuck with a lot of, like, randos, and you have nothing in common and then of course they don't like you, 'cause, like, you like weird stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah, like I didn't reall have a lot of friends until I found theater.
Right.
@helloiamname asks, is it weird that I like it when my booty muscles are twitching after I work out? Yeah, so weird.
I don't know what she's talking I've never had a butt twitch.
Oh, really? Well, I don't work out, but sometimes when I walk and move my body, my muscles are like, oh, don't do that, you don't use those enough, and then I get, like, leg twitches and butt twitches.
But what's How is it twitching? Is it going, like or is it Is it like Beyoncé in the "7/11" video and it's just, moving on its own? Like, can you see the twitch? I bet it's an internal feeling.
I hate to make it gross, but let's talk about sometimes when you fart and you're sitting down, it goes up.
Kind of in the front, like, ooh.
That's kind of fun.
That's the worst.