Hannah Montana s04e04 Episode Script

Hey, yeah .
Five, six, seven Eight.
Aw! 5th Avenue.
With one of those horribly expensive hotels.
Oh, my! Fourteen hundred dollars! I'm not paying.
Yes, you are.
- You make me! - You think I won't?! - Are we gonna kiss now? - I hope so! Ok.
I just saw Hannah Montana out your window.
- No, you didn't.
- Yeah.
Yes, I did.
- No! - Yes.
- Nope! Mm-mm.
- Yes, I did.
Yes, I did.
What's the rush? No bathroom at the cd signing? - Siena saw me.
- So? Whoa! - Siena saw me! - Oh! Siena, why would Hannah Montana be here? Oh, don't play so innocent.
I web-searched you, And I know all about that whole "jacksannah" thing.
You web-searched me? You web-searched me.
Oh, don't flatter yourself.
When you've dated as many losers as I have, You learn to do the work to avoid the jerk.
Are you seeing her again? I was never seeing her in the first place.
People just thought we were dating.
Why? Hey, Hannah! Gotcha! I knew if I kept following you, I'd find out where you live.
Live? Here? Me? No! I'm just here to visit a friend.
Looks more like a boyfriend to me.
- What? - Say "front page!" Big misunderstanding.
She was just a friend.
An obnoxious, all-consuming, vortex of selfishness.
Who I don't even talk to anymore because she had a habit.
Of messing up my life! No, I think the face you probably saw.
Was that of my sister, miley.
In fact, I'm sure of it.
It was my sister, miley.
Miley! I think he wants you out there.
I'll take "blatantly obvious" for 2, 000, Alex! Ow! Ah! Hmm You were rude and then you fell.
Karma.
Why couldn't flip-flops go with this outfit? Jackson, I've had boyfriends cheat on me before, And I'm not going there again.
- Ok, I won't do it.
If you - Hey, siena.
Hi! I was just, uh, coming here to tell you I love your top.
Um When did you see my top? - When she saw it through the window.
- Exactly.
Remember? Remember me at the? That was me.
Shocked That you're still dating my brother.
I could've sworn I saw a blonde.
Honey, you're dating Jackson.
It's not like your eyes haven't fooled you before.
What a kidder! What a window-peekin', kiss-killin' kidder you are.
Uh, thanks for clearing up that little misunderstanding.
- Bye-bye.
- Jackson, can I talk to you for a second? - For you? No.
- Ha! Who's the kidder now? He'll be back soon.
Gives you time to run.
- What?! - That was way too close! - You got to stop bringing her here.
- Oh, ok, sure, definitely.
Yeah, I'll stop bringing by the only thing in my life.
That brings me the tiniest shred of happiness! Or I could go in there and tell her the secret.
- You wouldn't.
- Watch me.
No-no-no-no-no! Whoo! Here we go, everybody! come on you get the limo out front oooh hottest styles every shoe, every color yeah, when you're famous it can be kind of fun it's really you but no one ever discovers who would have thought that a girl like me would double as a superstar .
Whooo! you get the best of both worlds chill it out take it slow then you rock out the show you get the best of both worlds mix it all together and you know that it's the best of both worlds whoa, whoa ooh, whoa I'm not gonna let you tell her my secret! All right.
Fine.
I'll tell her my secret.
I have a sister who's Hannah Montana, And she's a lot heavier than she looks.
- Lift some weights! - Eat some lettuce! Look, I have to tell her.
She's had other boyfriends cheat on her, And if she sees Hannah again, she's gonna think I'm just like them.
- Ants! Ants! Ah! - Ow! Fine! Fine.
Go ahead, tell her my secret.
Let her tell the world, let her ruin my life.
If I don't tell her, it'll ruin mine.
- I can live with that.
- Well, I can't.
Besides, if I tell her not to tell, she won't.
You don't know that.
Come on, please, Jackson.
Give me one more chance.
- She won't see Hannah in the house again.
- And if she does? I'll tell her the secret myself.
- Promise? - Promise.
Ok.
Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a beautiful young woman.
In there waiting for her prince charming.
Ant in the nose! Ant in the nose! Yep, he's a real keeper.
ooh, oh .
Afternoon.
Beautiful day.
How you doing, partner? Well, sounds like somebody got lucky today.
Luck had absolutely nothing to do with it.
This was a battle of strength and skill.
Me against Bruce gillis.
- Bruce gillis? - Yeah, Bruce gillis, Like Bruce Willis.
'cause that sucker died hard.
Bruce Willis.
Bruce gillis.
- Get it? - Getting it wasn't the problem.
Oh, really? Well, Feast your eyes on dinner.
I assume you'll be eating alone.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Who's the person that lives at my house for free? Uh, I mean Wow, I am just stuffed just looking at it! Now, that's what I'm talkin' about.
Oh come on, al, it's the best offer you're gonna get for this place.
Forget it! There's no way I'm selling this arcade.
I took it over from my father who took it over from his father.
Who took it over from his father.
And I'm gonna leave it to my son, al junior.
Are you kidding me? He's got the word "death" tattooed on his neck.
And it's spelled wrong! You don't pick your children.
You don't understand that concept, ask your father.
The apple from my tree.
Come back here! No one walks away from Rico! Unless Rico wants them to, Which is what I want, so, yeah, keep walkin'! That's more like it! Whoa, Rico.
You are wound tighter than a hungry python.
Wrapped around a wigglin' wart hog.
You need to learn how to relax.
- What you need is a hobby.
- I had a hobby.
Making Jackson's life miserable.
Oh! Those were the years.
But now he's all happy dating his bikini model, And I'm more miserable than a horse in a hayless barn.
Look what you've done to me! Oh, Rico, it's not what I did to you.
It's what I'm about to do for you.
You feelin' it? The peace, the quiet, The serenity.
Twenty minutes and nothing! Fine, you stupid fish! You don't wanna bite, don't bite! But you know what I'm gonna have for dinner tonight? Your mom and dad! In a balsamic reduction sauce.
For a little guy, he sure got some big issues.
Uh, hey, Jackson, can you help me fold this? Huh.
Let me think about it.
Mm-mm! I'm studying.
Got a big test coming up.
- Since when do you study? - Since I found out siena.
Gets romantic when I get an a.
So, in other words, you're just friends.
So, in other words, you're just friends.
You do know I can fart at will.
- No! No! - Wait.
Oopsie.
It's a gift.
Hey, guys.
Can you tell dad I'll meet him at the wardrobe fitting? Uh, what are you doing here? Siena could walk in any minute! She's at a photo shoot in San Diego - What died in there? - Your brother's dignity.
Sometimes you gotta let the dogs run.
How can you two be so relaxed? I mean, what if siena finished early? What if she's on her way back right now? - She could walk in any minute! - Oh! You need to burn that thing.
Let her walk through the door.
That just means a certain secret.
Has to be told because a certain deal was made.
You know what else was made? A certain phone call to a certain pop star's Web master, Which enabled my phone to track siena's phone, Which is right now on the beach in San Diego! Knock knock knock! Hey, I'm sorry.
I would've called, But I lost my phone in San Diego.
I'm always doing Who is that? That is Someone under a sheet.
Jackson, is that Hannah Montana? - Well, as a matter of fact - It's me, miley! Miley, why are you under a bed sheet? Yes, miley, why are you under a bed sheet? Are you hiding something? Perhaps a secret? - Me? A secret? - Uh, no! She's just, uh, embarrassed by how tacky she looks! - [miley.]
ok.
- Yeah! You always dress so incredibly, and let's face it, I mean, the sheet is just doing us all a favor.
- Isn't that right, miley? - [Miley.]
yeah.
- We'll just Have fun.
- [Miley.]
ow! I'm so sorry! Ok.
Well, toodles.
Bye! You know, your sister is a little strange.
You don't know the half of it.
But if you did know the half of it, you'd know how clever what I just said was.
- Ok, I'll be right back.
- Bye.
Well, that was close, but I think we pulled it off All right, what was that? Brilliant on-the-spot thinking? You promised you'd tell her.
That's when I thought my plan would work.
- They usually work.
- They never work.
Yeah, but then I learn a valuable lesson and everything's ok.
- So, what's the valuable lesson here? - I don't know yet.
Miley, she's almost busted you twice.
I'm not gambling on a third time.
We had a deal, and if you won't tell her about Hannah, I will.
Ok, wait, wait, wait.
You're totally right.
I said I'd tell her, so I will.
- Great, let's go.
- Wait.
I can't right now.
I have a wardrobe fitting.
But I'll be right back.
- It's only gonna take a few hours.
- No, that's not gonna work.
- I have an exam in two hours.
- Well, I can't do it tonight.
- I've got a recording session - Then a concert.
And then a movie and then a world tour.
I know exactly what you're doing.
You're trying to push it off until she and I break up.
I never thought of that, but it would make everything easier on everyone.
You know what? You are telling her after the fitting, Whether I'm here or not.
Whoa.
So, uh, how are you getting out of this? What's the plan? There is no plan.
I gotta tell her I'm Hannah Montana.
ooh, ah ooh, ah ooh, ah, oh .
Siena's coming.
I don't know if I'm ready for this.
What are you nervous about? Hey, if Hannah's out, Lola's out! Come on.
Yeah.
How is she ever gonna handle the shock? I know! - Knock, knock, knock.
- Be strong.
- I'll try.
- So, what's the big mystery? I'm really Lola! There, I said it! Don't you look at me! - What's up with her? - That's my fault.
I let her in the room.
Listen, siena, I have something I need to tell you, And it's not really easy to say.
I'm spending too much time with Jackson and you're missing your Big Brother.
Yeah, I'm gonna have to answer that with a big fat no.
I think you'll understand.
- Once you see my closet.
- Oh! You want my advice on how to dress better.
Bikini model say what? Don't be so hard on yourself.
You look great, most of the time.
- Most of the time? - I mean, except for a couple of sweaters.
And those interesting ripped leggings, And I'm just assuming this outfit is because it's laundry day.
I hope.
[Laughs.]
- All right, siena - Don't be embarrassed.
I said the same thing to Jackson the other night on the beach.
When I borrowed his sweater and saw that he bought it from dicky Roy's clothes for boys.
He still shops there? I thought he moved on to Lenny green for mini-teens.
Oh no! I promised I wouldn't say anything! Please don't tell him I told you.
Oh, no! Like I would tell my brother that you blurted out a secret? No! Well, really good.
I really enjoyed this little bonding moment we've had here.
- I thought you were gonna show me your clothes.
- I was, But I don't wanna ruin this beautiful moment with All the ugly clothes? - Yeah.
- You know what? I'm gonna take you shopping on Saturday.
I know we can make you look better.
Whoo! Yay! I'm so excited, You Secret-spilling blabbermouth.
- What?! - She told me about dicky Roy's clothes for boys.
If she can't keep a secret as stupid as that, she's not gonna be able to keep mine.
Ok, so she messed up once.
Big deal.
And dicky offers high-quality at a low price, With reinforced knees that are rough-house guaranteed.
- Jackson, she can't be trusted, - The only one who can't be trusted is you.
- I'm telling dad! - Well, I'm gonna get to him first, - 'cause I'm the only one who knows he's at the pier.
- Thank you.
You're welcome.
Dang it! A, b, a, c, a.
Huh.
Studying does make it easier.
Good to know.
Rico, I do love it that you're giving this another try.
Well, I do need another hobby.
Yeah, you can't rely on messing with Jackson the rest of your life.
Although, it does have its occasional charms.
Look at you.
You're calmer already.
Now, don't expect to catch one right off the bat - Whoa! - Holy mackerel! - My goodness! - Wow, that was easy! Now, son, don't let a little beginner's luck go to your head.
That's not gonna happen every time.
Dangflammit! I gotta tell ya, I can't remember the last time I felt so at peace with the world.
- How are you doing? - Fantastic.
Bite, you little pucker-faced suckers! I know you're down there! Stop mocking me! - [miley.]
stop it! - [Jackson.]
you stop it! Ow! You stop it! - You fight like a girl! - I am a girl! What's your excuse! - Dad! We had a deal! - Dad! He's being a jerk! Shh! Not now.
Why don't I leave you to your little family affair? [It's not like the fishare goi.]
There's something very evil about that boy.
Make it quick.
Miley was almost caught as Hannah which made siena crazy jealous.
I made her promise I found out she can't keep a secret so now I won't! I understand.
I know how important this is to both of you, But it seems to me that Whoa! - I think I finally snagged one! - Dad, it's important! - Yeah, so is this! - Dad, focus, all right? - Tell her she has to tell! - No, I do not! Son, I'm sorry, but it's her secret, it's gotta be her decision.
- Yes! - Now, give me back my pole! I'd love to, but it's stuck.
Son, you see that fish floppin' out there? That's my pride, son.
Fine.
That's real fair.
You get your fish, Miley gets her way and what do I get? Nothing but this stinking pole hooked on my jacket! My life just goes from bad to Worse! [both.]
Jackson! - Are you ok? - [Jackson.]
just dandy! - Still haven't caught anything? - I have.
You see that beauty out there pulling my boy to sea? Mine.
yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah la-di-da-da-da Jackson, it's not as bad as you think.
- I'll be careful.
- Oh, like you were careful before? I feel so much better! That's the spirit! Glad we had this little talk.
Why can't you do this for me? Lilly knows, oliver knows, Jake knows, And he's an actor, for crying out loud.
They're children! Well, those people are important to me.
- And siena is important to me.
- But I don't trust her.
- But I do! - Jackson, please! Just forget it.
Knock, knock, knock.
Oh.
Hey, miley.
Is Jackson back from his test? - I've been calling him and - Oh, no.
I would've answered, but I didn't wanna pay the underwater roaming charges.
- What happened? - What happened? What happened? - What happened? - Uh And Jackson jumped in and saved me.
Oh, honey, you just get better and better.
Oh! Why ar't you wet? I dry faster.
Aw, see? You told the Hannah secret and everything's ok.
Oh, boy.
- The Hannah secret? - Uh I knew it.
You are still seeing Hannah.
I'm out of here.
Me, too.
- Siena! - What? I - Nothing.
- Yeah.
I thought so.
He's not dating Hannah! Then what's the big secret? - You really trust her? - I do.
- Then I do, too.
- Hello! I'm trying to make a dramatic exit and you're ruining it! Come on.
You'll understand when you see my closet.
I already know you have ugly clothes! The things I do for you.
Unbelievable.
- So you're Hannah mtana? - Yep.
And you've been pulling this off for five years? I've been Lola for four.
Who's Lola? Yeah, like you don't know.
- Ha! - Ooh, ah, ooh .
Make sure you get the whole fish.
- Yeah, I got it.
- From tip to tail? From tip to tail.
By the way, the one that Jackson left off my line was that one's daddy.
Oh, you mean the one that Jackson "let go.
" - He did! - Of course he did.
That's it.
Here's your stupid camera.
I'm going home.
Shake it off, big guy! I have a fling tomorrow's gonna be your day.
Great job, Ernie.
But tomorrow, put a fishn his line.
One.
Small one.
Gotta keep him coming back.
Nothing more relaxing than messing with a Stewart.
Am I right big guy? Yeah, I'm right.