Lip Sync Battle (2015) s04e04 Episode Script

1 - Hit it! - Yeah, yeah! It takes two to make a thing go right Yeah, yeah! - It takes two to make it outta sight - Hit it I wanna rock right now I'm Rob Base and I came to get down I'm not internationally known But I'm known to rock a microphone Because I get stupid I mean outrageous Stay away from me If you're contagious Ladies love me, girls adore me I mean even the ones who never saw me Like one, two, three, get loose now - It takes two - (CROWD CHEERING) It takes two, it takes two, it takes two - What's up, Lip Sync Nation? - (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) What is up? Ooh, it's a good one tonight, and it's a family affair.
And to lead us all into battle, I need to bring out the main man on the mic! My brother from another mother.
The hip hop legend LL Cool J! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) They call me Big L'y Big silly Big Money Big Billy When I'm sliding in them all, can ya hear me? Put your hands in the air! - We be up in the club - Hands up! Come to the back Let me hear you say "yeah!" - CROWD: Yeah! - Go, Chrissy, it's your birthday! Go, Chrissy, it's your birthday Now put your hands up, put your hands up! Put your hands up, put your hands up! Now, scream! (CROWD SCREAMING) LL: Welcome to Lip Sync Battle! Alright, it's time to get this battle started.
Let's go! (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) He's a UCLA Bruin.
The Number Two pick in the 2017 NBA draft, and he's coming into the league rocking them new ZO2 sneakers! Starting point guard for the Los Angeles Lakers.
He's Lonzo Ball! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) And he's a walking court machine, the patriarch of the Ball family, and the founder and CEO of the Big Baller Brand.
Give it up for LaVar Ball! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) We got the Balls in the house.
That's what I'm talking about man! That's what I'm talking about! I'm built for this! He not even my son right now.
- I'm not even looking at that.
- (CHRISSY GROANS) Oh! Alright, well, LaVar, you can chill in the VIP for a second.
- Lonzo, come on over.
- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) You're first up.
So what song are you setting it off with? You know.
Kendrick Lamar, "Stay Humble.
" - CHRISSY: Whoo! - We in LA, let's do LA.
Alright! Ladies and gentlemen, - here is Lonzo Ball! - (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Nobody pray for me Even a day for me Way, yeah, yeah - Ay, I remember syrup sandwiches - (EXCLAIMING) And crime allowances Finesse a nun with some counterfeits But now I'm countin' this Parmesan where my accountant lives In fact, I'm downin' this D'USSE with my boo bae Tastes like Kool-Aid for the analysts Girl, I can buy yo' ass the world with my paystub I know that is good Won't you sit it on my taste bloods? If I quit your BM, I still ride Mercedes, funk If I quit this season, I still be the greatest, funk - My left stroke just went viral - (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Right stroke put lil' baby in a spiral Soprano C, we like to keep it on a high note It's levels to it, you and I know Tell her, be humble Sit down Be humble Sit down, be humble Sit down Be humble Sit down Who dat uh thinkin' that he frontin' on man, man? Get the off my stage, I'm the Sandman Get the off my, that ain't right I make a play blowing up your whole life Hey, this that Grey Poupon, that Evian, that TED Talk, ay Watch my soul speak, you let the meds talk, ay If I kill a, it won't be the alcohol, ay I'm the realest uh after all, tell him, be humble Sit down Be humble Sit down, be humble - Tell him sit down - (LAUGHING) Be humble Sit down - (MUSIC STOPS) - (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) LL: Oh! Lonzo! CHRISSY: Oh! Oh! I've never seen somebody completely direct their entire song to their competition.
- That's awesome.
(LAUGHS) - (CROWD LAUGHS) I like this.
I like the way this is starting.
- LL: Yeah, so so - (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) So, Lonzo, you comin' out the gate.
You takin' shots! - Come on.
- You know, he talk a lot.
You gotta be humble sometime.
You know, you gotta sit down sometime and just watch me show.
- Watch me work.
- CHRISSY: Your dad is standing.
- Your dad is standing.
- (LAUGHTER) He standing, he standing, it's alright.
He he weigh a lot, it take a lot to chop him down real quick.
(LAUGHTER) You taught this guy everything he knows, right? Uh-huh.
Are you responsible for them little dance moves he was just doin' just then? That's that new stuff.
(LAUGHTER) See, you got a young crowd out here, so they lovin' that, but I got some good stuff! - (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) - I love it.
Alright, Lonzo, you can have a seat in the VIP.
LaVar, come on over.
So, uh, I wanna see what you got for the people.
- I'ma give 'em something.
- You're gonna give 'em something? It's a big baller vibe.
Just check it out! - It's a big baller vibe? - (EMPHATICALLY) Big baller vibe.
Okay, ladies and gentlemen, are you ready for the big baller vibe? (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Make some noise for the big baller, LaVar Ball! (NAS'S HATE ME NOW PLAYS) You can hate me now - QB - But I won't stop now 'Cause I can't stop now - Brave hearts - You can hate me now Come on, but I won't stop now 'Cause I can't stop now You can hate me now Do it now, do it now Don't hate me, hate the money I see Clothes that I buy Ice that I wear, clothes that I try Close your eyes, picture me rollin' Sixes, money foldin' Chickas, honies that swollen to riches Nas get in ya Most critically acclaimed Pulitzer Prize winner Best storyteller, thug narrator, my style's greater Model dater, big threat to a lot of you haters Commentators ringside try watchin' my paper Want me off the scene fast, but good things last Like your favorite MC still makin' some mean cash First rapper to bring a platinum plaque back to the projects But you still wanna hate, be my guest, I suggest - (CHRISSY LAUGHING) - (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Do it now You can hate me now - I won't stop - But I won't stop now 'Cause I can't stop now Uh, you can hate me now - Do it now - You can hate me now Do it now It ain't gonna never stop y'all! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) LL: Yo! Oh my goodness! (LAUGHING) - LaVar! - I love that Lonzo wasn't even fazed.
Like he never even really made a face.
At the end of the day, even with our parents, we're all just like, "Ugh, Dad" - (LAUGHTER) - no matter who we are.
LONZO: Hey, can I tell you something, LL? If I was Nas, I'd be mad he put on a performance like that on my song.
CHRISSY: Oh! Nas told me that only selected few can do this.
(LAUGHTER) LL: So, Lonzo, there's a lot of fire thrown out there.
What's your take on the controversy? I mean, obviously, he's a legendary rapper, you know.
He's real hip hop.
He's the first one that came to my mind.
It's just people gotta pass the torch, keep it movin'.
- That's what it is.
- What do you think about that? What I think about that? Everybody who's 40 or 50, come with me.
(LAUGHING) Alright, LaVar.
Well, I'll be over there in a second, but you can head on over to the VIP.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Now, nothing gets me hotter than watching old school battle new school.
It takes a lot of balls.
Absolutely, and when we come back, we'll see this father-versus-son combo take their competition to the next level! The mud is being slung! Shots are being thrown! This is a battle for sure.
- It's LSB.
- Whoo! You can hate me now It takes two to make a thing go right Lip Sync Battle is back, and Lonzo is gettin' ready to show that he can not only penetrate opposing defenses, but he can rip the LSB stage too.
(APPLAUSE) MAN: So how confident do you think that you are going into this? - With your dad? - I'm pretty confident.
- Yeah? Take him down? - Yeah.
I think so.
It's a nice little spot y'all got, man.
And then I stand up? - WOMAN: Yes.
- After that? It's not like a big thing to me.
I already know I'm gonna win, so I'm not gonna make too much of it.
- All set? - WOMAN: But you don't have your Alright, should we do it another time? - Just so you know all the marks and stuff? - I think I'm good.
No! One more time for me! - I'm good.
- One more time for me, please, please, please! I think it's gonna be a pretty easy, you know, night.
- So - (LAUGHING) - Lookin' forward.
It's an easy dub.
- Oh! - LONZO: It's gonna be good.
Don't trip.
- WOMAN: I believe you! - (MAN SPEAKING) - Uh, just good luck.
I know you're gonna need it, so, there you go.
That's your son just being your son.
I just usually don't rehearse good at all.
Ever.
- Really? - I don't rehearse at all, that's why.
His energy compared to mine? It's like night and day.
Only he's the day and I'm all night! - (MAN SPEAKING) - It's like practice, like, you know, like I'm not gonna go hard, like - (LONZO SPEAKING) - (LAVAR CHUCKLES) Last time I did Lip Sync Battle was in '92.
That's true.
You better hope I get tired real quick.
That's your best bet.
I'm ready to go.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) (BAD AND BOUJEE PLAYS) Raindrops, drop top, drop top - Smokin' on cookie in the hotbox - Cookie No, you knew she a thot, thot, thot Cookin' up in the Crockpot pot We came from nothin' to somethin', hey I don't trust nobody, grip the trigger, nobody Call up the gang and they come and get ya Cry me a river, give you a tissue - Ohh! - Bad and boujee, bad Cookin' up with an Uzi, blaow My is savage, ruthless - Hey - We got 30s and 100 rounds too Glah Offset, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo Rackings on rackings, got back-ends on back-ends I'm ridin' around in a coupe I take your "B" right from you, you I'm a dog, woof, grr Beat ho walls loose, hey Hop in the frog, whoo I pull up, I pull up, I pull up I hop out with all of the drugs and the good luck I'm cookin', I'm cookin', I'm whippin' I'm whippin' into a rock up, let it lock up Uh, yeah, dat way Float on the track like a Segway, go Yeah, dat way Big get it on, Macy Gray Raindrops, drop top, drop top Smokin' on cookie in the hotbox, cookie No, you knew she a thot, thot, thot Cookin' up in the Crockpot, pot We came from nothin' to somethin', hey I don't trust nobody, grip the trigger, nobody Call up the gang and they come and get ya Cry me a river, give you a tissue Bad and boujee, bad Cookin' up with an Uzi, blaow My is savage, ruthless We got 30's and 100 rounds too (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) - (LAVAR LAUGHING) - Oh my God.
Oh! Oh! (IMITATING BUZZER) Chrissy, what's in your mouth? (LAUGHS) Sorry.
(LAUGHING) I liked your twerking diner.
- You can be in the next one.
- I was feeling it.
(LAUGHS) (LAUGHING) I gotta gain a few.
I have nothing back there.
(LL LAUGHS) So so, Lonzo, I like this jacket.
- It's heavy.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, joint is heavy, right? So you think that was enough to beat your dad or what? You think Pops is in for trouble or Easy dub.
Ask them, they know.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Alright, so, LaVar, who do you think has been a bigger influence? The Migos or you in his life? Man, right now you know it's the Migos, man! I ain't got nothing like that! (LAUGHTER) "Bad and Boujee.
" That was alright! Alright, Lonzo, you head on over to the VIP.
So, Lonzo came in to swagger his way into victory, but can LaVar teach his son one more lesson? Time to see who the bigger baller is.
This is Lip Sync Battle! Battle, battle, battle, battle, battle.
Raindrops, drop top, drop top It takes two to make a thing go right Lip Sync Battle returns, and we've got one more performance before we give out the belt.
LaVar Ball is a man of vision and foresight.
So let's see him put his imagination to work as he brings an LSB performance to life.
So you wanna bend it a little bit, yeah! Yeah! I'ma bend.
This is as much as I can bend right here.
Man, I ain't did that since '87.
(GROUP CHEERS) It's all good! Oh, I don't consider myself a good dancer, I consider myself a great dancer! WOMAN: Hey! I picked this song because it's old school, and it says exactly what I want it to say.
And y'all figure that out when you see it and when you hear it.
I'm only gonna play one game, too.
- I don't care.
- One game, one game.
- No rematch.
- One game.
LAVAR: KP, hold it look at that! Oh, man, you want me to play a guy who can't not get one ball on the break? Check this out.
The six is gonna hit the nine, and then the two's going right in there like this.
He knows I'm coming at him.
You know that's just how I am.
And when I'm in competition mode, I forget that they my sons, that's why we never play one on one.
- What you looking at? I don't have a shot? - Nope! Stop it, boy.
- Five ball right here.
Keep your eyes on it.
- (LONZO MUMBLES) Shut up and look at this, boy.
- Shut up and look at it.
(BLEEP) - (CREW LAUGHING) LAVAR: I'ma tell him to bring it on.
'Cause I'ma tell him, "You ain't no "You can't stand up to your dad.
I'm the one!" Lonzo can play, but you know where he got all this from? Yours truly.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) (KOOKABURRA CALLING) (THE TIME'S JUNGLE LOVE PLAYS) (LAUGHING) I I been watching you - I think I wanna know ya - Know ya I said I I'm a little dangerous - Girl, I want to show ya - Show ya My jungle love - Yeah, oh, we, oh, we, oh - (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) - I wanna know ya - Know ya - (LL LAUGHS) - Jungle love Oh, we, oh, we, oh - Girl, I want to show ya - Show ya You You've got a pretty car I think I wanna drive it, drive it - (LAUGHING) - I said, I I'm a little dangerous Take you to my crib, rip you off, huh! - Jungle love - (LL LAUGHS) Oh, we, oh, we, oh I think I wanna know ya, know ya Jungle love - Yeah - Oh, we, oh, we, oh - Girl, I need to show ya - Show ya Hey, Jessie! Now, Jerome! Yes! - Oh, we, oh, we, oh - Check it out Uh, that's it, that's it! - (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) - Whoa! Come on! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CONTINUES) LL: Yo! Oh, man! CHRISSY: Oh my God! - You look so fly! - LAVAR: I told you they ain't ready for this! I told you! Stage presence is a monster! You fell right into the "Oh, we, oh, we, oh.
" Ooh! LL, you know how to do that move? I'll do it all day.
Can you teach LL how to do the "Oh, we, oh, we, oh"? That's that stage presence.
See, they only used to point.
Drop tops, and blocks.
(LAUGHING) Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) They ain't ready for that! Live real dangerous Dangerous! That's how I used to step out of the club.
Dangerous! (LAUGHTER) Yo, you killing me, man.
Oh my God.
So, yo I mean, you clearly ain't shy.
- No! That ain't no issue.
- That ain't a issue.
So, uh, what was it like? Morris Day and the Time? - Tell me about it.
- Man, I'ma tell you about it.
Listen, took me back.
I didn't never think I was gonna be 50 on stage doing this.
- (LAUGHING) - (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) - LL: Ain't nothing wrong with it! - Ain't nothing wrong it! I'm just having fun, man, you taking me back! - Listen, dreams don't have deadlines, baby.
- Hey, none! So, Zo Zo, how how many times did your pops do this at the barbecue? Just like this with this outfit.
I'm not gonna lie.
I ain't never seen that before.
LAVAR: He ain't never seen it! 'Cause I always keeps a good spinnin' line! - Oh, we, oh, we, oh.
- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) LaVar, head on over to the VIP, bro.
That was amazing.
And a ball was had by all, but the belt can only go to one of them.
So who takes home this beautiful belt, huh? It's leather bound and diamond encrusted.
It will instantly make you the envy of all your friends.
Chrissy Teigen not included.
Who's next to get the belt? It's Lip Sync Battle, y'all.
Let's ride.
Oh, we, oh, we, oh Girl, I want to know ya, know ya Jungle love It takes two to make a thing go right LL: Welcome back to Lip Sync Battle! Before we crown the new champ, let's give it up for Lonzo and LaVar Ball for bringing it all night long! Make some noise! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Alright, Chrissy, let's do it.
Is the champ Lonzo Ball? (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Or is the champ LaVar Ball? (WILD CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) And the Lip Sync Battle champion is LaVar Ball! Oh, we, oh, we, oh! Okay, so, LaVar, how's it feel to be the Lip Sync Battle champ? Chrissy, let's put the belt on the champ.
- Put the belt on the champ.
- LL: Put the belt on the champ.
We gotta put the belt on the champ.
You already knew the belt was coming to me! They already had my initials: LSB.
LaVar Star Ball! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) I mean, your son is over here.
He's you know, he's He doesn't look, like, too, like, thrilled with your victory right now.
But it's blood before the belt, right? - That's what makes it - Hey, man, he back to being my son, but he had to learn the hard way.
- I gotta give it to him, man.
- (LAUGHTER) Oh, man, so how'd you think he did tonight? How'd you think he did tonight? Well, I think he did perfect for an amateur.
- (CROWD GROANS) - (LL LAUGHS) (STAMMERING) So, alright, we gonna act like Dad didn't say that.
How was your entire LSB experience tonight, Zo? No, it was a lot of fun, man.
Appreciate all y'all showing the love, man.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) You know, yeah, you know, I'll recommend this to everybody for sure.
No doubt about it.
Okay, well, big thanks to Lonzo and LaVar Ball for kickin' it with the Lip Sync Battle crew! Big shout out to Lip Sync Nation at home, online, and all over the world.
One love from me, LL Cool J, and Chrissy Teigen.
And remember, whatever you do in life, "Knock 'em out the box, L! Knock 'em out, L!" Jungle love, yeah Oh, we, oh, we, oh Think I wanna know ya, know ya LL: Jungle love - Yes! - Oh, we, oh, we, oh Girl, I'm going to show ya, show ya Oh, my jungle love, well Oh, we, oh, we, oh I think I wanna I think I wanna know ya Tell me, ha! LL: One more time! One more time for the Ball family, y'all.
- One more time! - (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)