Northern Exposure s04e04 Episode Script

Ruth-Anne.
Look at this.
Pelle the Conqueror in the C's.
Really.
Where do you keep the dental floss? Oh, it's down here.
Do you like waxed or unwaxed? What's the difference? Depends on how close together your teeth are.
Oh, I almost forgot.
You got a package.
Package? Mmm-hmm.
COD.
It's out back.
Here it is.
This is for me? Yep.
What is it? Well, at first I thought it was a mistake.
Jolly McDermott's snowmobile chassis come in a box just this size but he ship them by rail, and this came by truck.
O'Toole? Hey, it's from Tooley.
Friend of yours? Yeah.
It looks as if it could be a wardrobe or maybe a refrigerator.
Whatever it is, it weighs a ton.
It's human remains.
What? You mean a body? Yeah.
Whose body? His.
Excuse me.
How you doing? Morning, friend.
Morning.
Can I get you something? Where am I? You're at The Brick.
The Brick? In Sicily, right? Yes, sir.
Well, where's the beach and all the red-checkered tablecloths Cinzano umbrellas and olives and that? You did say Sicily, right? Alaska.
Alaska.
Of course, Alaska.
I mean, if I was in "Sicily" Sicily you'd be speaking in Italian, now wouldn't you, eh? I guess.
Alaska.
That's cool.
Bears, penguins, pipelines.
Have you got a phone here? Yes.
Right around the bar, just beyond the pool table.
Can you do me a favor? If a guy called Mink who's supposed to be an artist's manager, calls for me tell him to get lost, okay? Mink? I mean, hey, man a guy gives you his word makes you a promise, he's supposed to follow through, right? Without question.
Right.
Totally.
So if he calls, I don't even want to know about it, okay? All right.
And if this Mr.
Mink calls who will he be asking for? Yeah.
Yeah, well, how about that drink, then, eh? Tequila and OJ.
I'll see what I can round up.
So this is Tooley, huh? Yep.
You guys were good friends? Oh, man, the best.
Since way back in JD.
We lived off and on together since, you know.
We were living in an abandoned boxcar when he told me about Sartre.
Sartre? Yeah.
Really? Yeah, don't let the clothes fool you.
That there is a real Renaissance man.
Philosopher, artist, musician extraordinaire.
You know, after our Soo Line days we were living in Skokie, in a halfway house for about a year.
And he picked up the blues harp.
Man, he could wail that thing.
You see this tattoo right here on his left arm? Uh-huh.
Well, most people think that the ink-pricker misspelled murder but, actually, back in Kentucky there was this one filly he always kept his eye on.
Always came in dead last, right? Unless it was raining.
Then his mudder would skate right in you know, while the others slogged along.
How come you never talked about him? Well, he was a big part of my life, you know? I mean, a major influence.
The things we shared, the things Tooley taught me I guess bringing him up was too personal.
So what did he want you to do with him? Bury him, I suppose.
He didn't leave a note or anything? No, we kind of had a pact.
You had a pact? Yeah, it's all kind of hazy but last time I saw him, he was herding sheep and we were sitting up on this big hill drinking a 12-pack of malt liquor and a pint of sloe gin, you know contemplating our own mortality and we said something about doing right by each other.
Seems simple enough.
Yeah, you'd think.
But then again, Tooley worked on a whole lot of different levels.
A complex individual.
Yeah.
Hello, darling.
Do you got any Ernie Balls? Who? Ernie Balls.
You know, electric guitar strings? No, I'm afraid I don't have any Ernie Balls.
How about some picks? You know, any kind.
Polymer, nylon, Plexi, agate.
I'll go see what I can find.
I'll have to check downstairs.
Be right back.
You wanna toss me some of those matches, love? Yeah, you.
Matches.
I must have left me lighter at The Brick.
Silly sod.
Are you in detox? Oh, you're one of those Sign language? No.
No.
No, my name's Shelly Tambo.
Tambo? Yeah.
Did I do you on the Wonderland tour? Uh-uh.
But I'm one of your biggest fans! I've got all your records and everything.
Cool.
I've always wanted to ask you this one question but I never thought I'd get the chance to meet you face to face like this.
Oh, shoot.
It's about the cover of Metal Image.
You and the band were dressed in your usual gig stuff.
The chains and the leather and stuff.
Yeah.
Except you were wearing a smiley-face button.
Remember? Only it was upside-down.
Well, was it because an upside-down smile's a frown? I thought maybe that was it because you lost Freddy as soon as the album cover came out.
Freddy? Your first drummer.
Freddy Bonner? Your twin? Oh, him.
You know, that cheeky little sod wanted a trap solo somewhere in every set we did! Diabolical liberty.
And I'll tell you, man, if he hadn't ditched the band first I think I would have seriously considered booting him out.
I'm sorry, but all I could find was a couple of old banjo picks.
You can have them if you want them.
Oh, thanks, man.
They're awful dusty.
Hey, you haven't got a a doctor or something around here, have you? Mmm-hmm.
Dr.
Fleischman's office is just down the street.
You can't miss it.
Later.
Bye.
Hey.
Morning.
Indian? Uh-huh.
For real? Uh-huh.
Whoa! That's karma, man, you know, 'cause I really dig the Indian sound.
Those tom-toms, wooden flutes those gourd pipes, drums.
Totally cool.
Do you play? Piano.
No drums? I have friends who play drums.
Really? Hey, Marilyn Hi, can I help you? Yeah, but if I take my shirt off, it'll have to be between you and me 'cause I haven't had my chest waxed in weeks.
Oh, well it's not a problem for me, mister I like this guy.
Brad Bonner.
He plays guitar.
Now, you say the tingling occurs in the thumb and the first three fingers, right? Yeah, basically, yeah.
And sometimes when I'm on stage, it goes to sleep on me, you know? And it really screws up my hammer-ons.
Your what? Hammer-ons.
You know, Eddie's big thing on the Van Halen album? No.
Blew all the wannabes away.
You know, the Oh, yeah.
I see what you mean.
Well, does that cause any numbness in your thumb or your palm? Oh, yeah.
Well, that's it.
And I told Mink about this a month ago and he just told me to stop sleeping with my hands under my butt.
Right.
Well, what's going on here is the ligaments in your wrist are swollen, okay and they're impinging on the medium nerve.
Now, it's actually called carpal tunnel syndrome.
Now you say you play the guitar, right? Yeah, you could say that.
Well, how do you hold the instrument when you play? Show me.
Oh, well, look, right there.
I mean, at the height you're holding it you have to fold your wrist over to play.
You gotta try and keep that in a neutral position, okay? You understand? No.
Like higher.
Like, say, chest level.
Like here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, no, no, no.
The look's all wrong, man.
No.
Okay.
All right.
Maybe it wasn't the axe at all.
Maybe it was the dogs.
The dogs? Yeah.
I had these dogs, you see.
Great Danes.
They used to yank like hell on the leash and I really banged up my hands, man.
Well, what happened to them? Let me have your wrist.
Set them free.
Free? Yeah, you know, like in the lion movie.
Right.
This obviously may not be the look you're after, either but it should do the trick.
Now, just wear it throughout the day and especially when you "rock out.
" I like it.
It's got that real Road Warrior look, man.
Yeah.
Dateline: Mesopotamia, 3,500 B.
C.
That's when the multifaceted sounds we call music got its humble beginnings.
It seems clappers were sent out to the fields to scare evil spirits away.
And these clappers started getting into the beat of their duties.
And, bingo, you have drums.
From there, horns, reeds, strings and the whole orchestral gestalt.
So born in staving off death music continues to nourish us in a variety of forms as different as the colors on the spectrum.
And riding high on that metal wavelength of the spectrum is the one and only Brad Bonner lead vocalist and axeman for the band Serpent Cathedral.
Welcome, Brad.
How's it going? It's going good, thanks.
It's a long way from the lute to the screaming Stratocaster.
Who were some of your influences? Where do you come from? Musically? Chili Peppers, U2 Pearl Jam's okay.
Well, considering your heavy distortion grunge sound I was wondering if maybe you were influenced by some of the greats like Hendrix or Tommy Bolin.
Hendrix? Mmm-hmm.
Purple Haze? Woodstock? The Star Spangled Banner? You know, headband? Oh, black dude, right? He wrote The Star-Spangled Banner, didn't he? Uh, no.
Oh, whatever.
You see, Chris, I make a point of never listening to music released before 1987, anyway.
You see, my sound comes from deep inside of me and I don't like to pollute my musical groundwater.
Right.
Right.
How long are you gonna stay in our fair flower of a city? Well, until last night I didn't think I could get out of here fast enough.
Yeah? Oh, yeah, but that's all changed now.
Oh, really? Yeah.
I've had this great idea for a gig.
In Cicely? Alaska.
Except it won't be like your ordinary, everyday, standard rock fest.
No way.
This is going to be something deeper.
Very, very deep.
A kind of cultural Oh, a great cultural Significance? Totally significant.
Mmm! It's just gonna be me, right and some Indian drummers rocking out like a real meeting of the musical minds.
Real cultural exchange kind of stuff.
Well, that's great.
I can't wait to hear that.
This next cut I'm going to play is for my visiting friend Tooley.
A new sound, for these airwaves at least.
The title track off of Cathedral's Mondo Rondo LP titled, you got it, Mondo Rondo.
Hey, crank it up! Excuse me! Sir? Mr.
Bonner? Mr.
Bonner? Hi, I'm Ed.
I just heard you on the radio.
C, G, B-flat.
C Have you got a pen on you, man? Something to write with? No.
C, G Can you remember something? C G Oh.
B- flat.
B- flat.
Got it.
You know, I heard you were gonna be playing with some Indians and what I'd really like to do is film it.
No can do, man.
I want that thing to be pure.
No MTV stuff.
Like a cultural, you know, tradeoff.
No, like cameras and lights will just, you know, mess up the purity of it.
I can shoot it ambient.
Ambient? Yep.
That's without lights.
Yeah, but ambient's without lights.
Right.
It wouldn't cost you anything.
No? No.
The Coast Guard down to Yakataga they were gonna get rid of all of their 16mm film stock but instead of dumping it, they gave it to me.
Yeah? Yeah! Well, maybe we could get the whole thing down on film, you know? Maybe it wouldn't mess up the balance of the cultural thing 'cause that's mega-important to me.
You know? Balance, culture, media.
Robert Flaherty did it once before, up here.
Nanook of the North.
1922.
Oh, it's been done? Sort of.
That was a film.
Oh.
Well, maybe we could expand the performance thing, you know? Show how I came up with the idea do a bit of background on how all that came up, and So it's like a sort of Cicely solo tour about me but about me in Alaska.
Yeah? Yeah.
You know, I think there's too much stuff here just for a video.
It's much bigger than that.
I think it's feature length.
Like that Like that Madonna thing.
Truth or Dare.
Yeah, except this will be about something, you know? Like We Are the World.
But instead of it'll just be me and the Indians, right? Sort of a I Am the World.
Yeah! Yeah! I Am the World.
Yeah.
Yeah! I got a big problem here, Tooley.
I mean, I got options, but the pieces don't wanna fit.
Option number one: cremation? I mean, you're a well-traveled guy.
Where am I gonna spread you? Burial at sea.
Okay, that's a nice choice.
Burial at sea.
But there's seven of them.
Which one am I gonna choose? Mummification.
Now that's interesting but seeing how the cult of Osiris is history, man there's nobody left to do it up right.
Plus, I probably couldn't get the palm wine and spices for the job, anyway.
You see, each answer only rattles the question harder.
Hey, Chris.
Hey, Brad.
Ed.
Hey, Chris.
What are you guys doing out this way? I heard you had a dead guy out here, Chris.
You know, I thought I'd do the real thing.
Stop by, have a look at him, pay my last respects.
You know, that whole scene.
Oh, yeah.
Well, thanks.
I appreciate that.
Okay, Eddie, I think you should get a shot of me and the dead guy, here.
Tooley.
You know, name's Tooley.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
Me and Tooley and bring Chris in as well, yeah? Okay, Eddie, here we go.
Death.
What a scam, eh? You know, society wants us to buy into that whole dead-and-gone routine.
Right.
Well, it all started coming together for me when I was a punk, really.
You know, I had this idea that, like, when you kicked your spirit got, like, booted into, like, machines, engines, you know? But then I got hip to the idea it's way more than that, man.
I mean what comes down when you die is that you end up in the thing you dug the most before you died.
Right.
Right, right, right.
Huh? Yeah, like, so, little itsy bits of me will end up, like, in my humbuckers, man and in my strings and out there with all the Cathedral punters in the world, you know? Yeah, yeah.
Like, what your slant is, is we all get, like, fragmented, redistributed, yeah? Like a chain letter.
Right.
Whatever.
Maurice, maybe you can help shed some light on something for me.
I mean, you being a former national hero and all you've probably been the object of some female adoration.
Hey, you got that right.
Four in the side pocket over there.
You see, it's Shelly.
Oh? Yeah, this Brad fella.
I've never seen her quite like this.
It's like she's under some sort of spell or something.
Yeah, I've noticed.
You have? Uh-huh.
And "spell," that's a very apt way of putting it.
Put the five down there.
There we go.
It's a very interesting phenomenon to witness, especially firsthand.
What is? The effect that a public celebrity can have on the fairer sex.
A woman that's God-fearing, church-going with a Puritan demeanor, and a husband to boot can suddenly, like that be turned into a libidinous sex fiend.
A sex fiend? Yeah.
I've often wondered why women feel that it's important to have sexual intercourse with a famous man.
Five in the corner over there.
Damn.
I think maybe it could be they feel that notoriety might rub off on them.
Or it could be a basic biological drive.
You know, that Darwinian stuff.
Procreation with the alpha male, that sort of thing.
I never came to a satisfactory answer.
But I had a hell of a lot of fun! Your shot.
Now, I realize that your taste in vino never quite made it past the screw-top variety, Tooley but all Ruth-Anne had was this here cooking sherry.
Salutes, chalutes.
Down the hatch.
Hey, that's not bad.
Reminds me of that stuff we used to ferment in the old squirt bottles.
Remember? Ah! Our meal sizzles! Remember that night we were out by the belt line? We had that campfire going and I was gonna whip up the world-famous Chris Burger? You told me that two pounds of ground beef would never cook even.
Remember that? Would I listen? There was the Chris Burger on the open flame charcoal black on the outside, red raw on the inside just like you said, man.
I knew I needed that little something extra that little something special that was gonna make it uniquely mine.
So I basted my culinary delight with the only hooch that we had handy.
Man, if you hadn't grabbed me by my Levi's when that Everclear went up I'd have been burned black as my boots.
A regular Crispy Critter.
Just one of the many times you saved my ass.
Soup's on.
What am I gonna do with you, Tooley? Good evening, sir.
The Nazarene party, yeah? Could be.
I'm not really sure.
Right this way.
Here we are.
Oh, I don't want to take somebody's seat.
Oh, feel free to sit.
Yeah, it's all right.
You sure? Uh-huh.
Okay.
Thank you.
Tight fit.
Care for a cocktail or to see the wine list? Do you have anything on tap? Afraid not.
Try the '05 Gethsemane Private Reserve Cab.
It's drinking very well now.
Goes nicely with the shank of lamb and bitter herbs.
I'll try that.
Peter.
Chris.
That's James.
Hi.
Philip, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John.
Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
John.
You guys aren't Nah.
So, Chris, what brings you here? Not the sweetbreads, I hope.
No.
I have a dead friend I need to bury.
You want the meaning of life.
Yeah.
I think so.
Came to the right place.
Hey, guys, dinner's on me tonight.
Unleavened bread? Sure.
Why not? Yeah.
Mmm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah! Yeah, thanks.
Yeah, I like that.
Great.
Thanks, thanks Thanks, Jim.
Riveting stuff, man.
Top-notch.
Thanks, wow.
Marilyn? Next.
Come on in, Don.
Are there any calls for me? No.
Good.
Okay, this is Don Clearwater.
Hi, Don.
Marilyn.
And, well, he does weddings, hunting ceremonies, harvests.
Cool, man.
Yeah.
Christmas and Easter, I do a special program over at Redeemer Baptist Church in Sleetmute.
Just a minute, now.
Before we get started Ed? I just gotta say that I'm way into this thing we're gonna do together, you know? I mean, you and me, we're not that different, really, are we? I mean, you people wear skins, I wear skins.
I dig music, you dig music.
It's gonna be a real gas tomorrow, man.
So let's hear what you're gonna do.
Yeah? No.
Whoa, whoa.
Cut! Cut.
Cut.
Eddie, cut! Eddie.
He's really good, huh? Yeah.
He's good, yeah.
He's tall.
Huh? How tall? I don't know.
Taller than me? A little.
Hey, thanks for stopping by, man.
That was totally cool.
Cheers.
Bye, Don.
Bye, Marilyn.
Yeah, well, thanks for coming, Don.
See you, Ed.
Marilyn? There are a dozen people with drums lined up out here.
It's auditions.
Auditions? Yeah, we needed a little private space to check out some of the local trapsmen, man.
"Trapsmen"? Uh-huh.
Drummers.
You were out to lunch.
Look, this is a doctor's office, okay? Sick people come here for treatment.
What about my patients? You don't have any.
Yes, well, I might.
Ed, would you stop? All right.
All right, obviously I'm not gonna win this one.
Okay, 20 minutes.
You have 20 minutes, then I want my office back.
Thanks, Dr.
Fleischman.
Marilyn? Next! Hey! Chris! Hey, Joel.
Did you know that when one of their slaves died the ancient Gauls would dig a hole in the ground, a big shaft put the body in, standing straight up and down? Who did that? The Gauls.
Is there any choice of final internment for the Hebrew world? Well, as a matter of fact, yes.
The basic burial is your primary choice.
In the ground? Within two days.
Which is actually why I wanted to talk to you regarding you friend and his casket.
Tooley.
Right.
I just don't want to have any knee-jerk decisions being made.
You know, eternal rest isn't something you should rush into.
No, no, I understand But unfortunately, in the eyes of the Attorney General's office, it is.
If Tooley wasn't embalmed, you'd have to have him in the ground within 24 hours.
Shoddily embalmed, you have 48 to 72 max.
Seeing as how he was obviously dead before he mailed himself to you I'd say we're pushing it.
I know.
I know.
Well, it's my responsibility to tell you that aside from the law we have certain health risks to consider.
I mean, look, a body begins breaking down as soon as a person dies, and Granted, in Tooley's case it's been slowed down a little but, I mean, eventually Put it this way.
Unless you know the entire medical history of the deceased you can unwittingly transmit any number of things.
It could be hepatitis, or - What you're saying is sooner than later on this deal.
This is what I'm saying.
You're right.
Okay.
Thank you.
A one, two, a one, two, three, four! Oi, Ed! Big guitar solo coming up.
Whoa! Yeah! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hold it, hold it, hold it! That's gonna be bitchin' tomorrow, man.
That's so totally cool! Now, look, seeing as I'm on a wireless thing here maybe during your solo, I could, like, bounce back and mingle? You know, make that exchange a bit more upfront.
Okay.
And maybe while I'm grooving your sound, I can, you know bang something, like maybe one of them things, yeah? That's cool.
Cheers.
All right, then? From the top.
A one, two, a one, two, three, four! Are you coming in to bed, Shel? In a minute.
You think I blew it? It's nice.
Not a wrinkle.
Maybe I should have kept it all sweaty and grody like he left it.
He? Brad wears this on his arm for when he's sweating like a pig on stage.
He wipes his face with it.
He gave you his dirty hanky? Well I was clearing his table, and so I sort of put a dirty plate on it.
Okay, so I kiped it.
You stole it? Well, yeah, I guess.
Shel, I must say I don't much like the way you Well, the way you've been acting.
I know I shouldn't have swiped it, Holling but it was his hanky! And it was just sitting there.
What? Shel, from the moment Brad came into Cicely you've been following him around like he's the lead dog.
So? People are noticing.
People? I'm noticing and well You're jealous.
No, I'm not jealous, I'm I'm embarrassed.
Embarrassed? Shel, you and I are practically husband and wife.
So what? So, if you behave unseemly it's unbecoming to you, and it reflects poorly on me.
Are you trying to tell me that if I act like a dork people are gonna think you're a dork? Well Well, la-dee-da! Too bad for you.
Shelly, I'm not implying that You just got to understand- Well, you just get this! I'm me, Holling, not you.
This is my life, and if I'm some kind of skeeze then that's my problem, not your problem, not anybody else's.
Shelly And if that's unseemly or unbecoming well, I'm just sorry you see it that way.
Thank you, Marilyn.
That was really nice.
And thank you all for coming out here on such short notice.
We had to kind of hurry this thing along, so thank you again and let's just get on with it.
We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of Brian Grady O'Toole.
Tooley was born of good Irish stock down in the vicinity of New Orleans, Louisiana.
He's survived, last I heard, by his mother, seven brothers, and two sisters.
Even though he left the family nest at the tender age of 11 Tooley was instilled with a good sense of family values and those values stayed with him, I'm sure, until his final days.
Final days which came way too soon, believe me, ladies and gentlemen.
And for the people who remember him the most fondly I can't do this.
I can't.
It just doesn't feel right, you know? I mean, I've known this guy my whole life, almost, and this is crazy.
Hey! Hey, Ed! Hey, Brad.
You made it.
Doing all right, man.
But I tell you what have to wait all bleeding day for a cab round here.
My feet are killing me.
So, where are my skin-pounders, then, man? That's what I wanted to talk to you about, Brad.
Hey, Eddie, before I forget the post-show meet-and-greet party, I'd like you to film that.
'Cause the fans, they get totally out of control, you know? Yeah, I bet.
See, that's the thing.
Brad, there's not gonna be a meet-and-greet after the show.
Huh? Because there's not gonna be a show.
Say what? You see, the Indians won't play with you anymore.
They don't want to play with me? Uh-uh.
They said you're very good but you're like a pebble.
I'm like a pebble? A pebble in a shoe.
They said I'm like a pebble in a shoe? Yeah.
That's it? I'm like a pebble in a shoe? Great.
I guess this means you're gonna pull the plug on the film.
Yeah.
Great.
Wonderful.
A bloody pebble in a bloody shoe.
That's wonderful.
Last week, we're down at the Sea of Galilee and he says, "I know this great spot for carp.
" We cast our nets and sit there all day in that blinding sun.
What do we get? Bupkis! That's why they call it fishing, not catching.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You guys are all fishermen? Most of us.
Luke's a physician.
Matt's a tax gatherer.
And Philip, he's a blacksmith? Shepherd.
Well fun's fun, but tomorrow's a workday.
Chris, it's been a pleasure.
If you ever make it to Bethany, look me up.
Okay, Peter.
I'll do that.
You bet.
Take care.
He's a nice guy.
You know, you wanna do some real fishing, you guys ought to come up to Alaska.
We got king salmon there, barndoor halibut Shh.
Show's starting.
What show? Good evening, ladies and brethren, and welcome.
Now I want you to all kick off your sandals and lay back Tooley? 'cause it's showtime at the Last Supper Club.
Hey! Hey! That's my friend Tooley.
That's my friend Tooley! It's me Chris, your buddy! Hey, hey, hey! He can't hear you.
He's dead.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Now, I'm hip to the fact that there's a dude in the audience that's breaking his eyeteeth over the meaning of life.
That's me.
That's me.
He's talking about me.
Well, buddy.
Let me tell you about the meaning of life.
Tell us, baby.
Tell us.
It ain't love.
"Love" It ain't beauty.
" Love " It ain't the whole truth and nothing but the truth! Tell us, baby.
Tell us Well, if you really want to know the meaning of life "Just take those old records off the shelf" "I'll sit and listen to them by myself" "Today's music ain't got the same soul" "I like that old time rock and roll" "Don't try to take me to a disco" "You'll never even get me out on the floor" "In 10 minutes I'll be late for the door" "I like that old time rock and roll" "Still like that old time rock and roll" "That kind of music just soothes my soul" "I reminisce about the days of old" "With that old time rock and roll" You know maybe you could cut Brad's footage together with the stuff you shot on that anthropologist who visited last spring.
Start a "Interesting People I Have Known" sort of thing.
Nope.
This was supposed to be one man's vision of you know, breaking that culture barrier.
Sort of like Fitzcarraldo, music instead of a boat.
And Well, something like that you just couldn't cut it together with anything else.
Well, I'm sure something will come up.
Greta needs this stuff before noon, so you'd better get a move on.
Oh, yes, ma'am.
Bye.
Bye.
Hey, Eddie! Been looking for you, man.
You have? Yeah, right, yeah.
I've been figuring, you know? I got these tunes I composed for the Cicely gig, you know? Uh-huh.
And all the choreography, right? Right.
Well, maybe this cultural tradeoff thing is Maybe it's just, like, a bit small, really.
I mean, in metal you do everything big, right? Yep.
Big stage.
Big sound.
Big hair.
Yeah.
And even though this Alaska place is big, the planet is even bigger.
I mean, the planet, it's big, it's round, it's Global? So I thought, if the planet is so totally global why limit yourself, right? Right.
Yeah! So I called Mink, and I said, "Phase two "Bonner, the early middle years, global.
" I'm going Slavic for this unity gig this Commonwealth of the Independent something or other.
We're gonna plug into peace, right? And rock out.
Sounds like a very worthwhile idea.
It is a very worthwhile idea, Eddie.
And I'm gonna need all the film you shot.
You will? Yeah.
For the intro of my big global piece.
Wait a minute.
You want to use my stuff for your intro? "Brad Bonner, Global.
" Well, all right! Mind you, we are talking about a one-shot buyout.
No residuals, or anything like that.
Yeah? Yeah.
Hey! Hey! Chris? Chris? I'm down here.
Hi.
Hi.
What are you doing? Just wanted to get down in here, you know, feel for myself.
See.
See what it's like to be six feet under where Tooley'd be spending eternity.
How is it? Cold.
And dark.
Even with the top open like it is, it's dark.
Well, Chris, are you coming out of there? Oh, I suppose.
It's just the spirit taking wing, the heart shutting down.
It's all so biological, you know? I can handle that.
But releasing Tooley, letting go of the man? That's hard.
I like having him around again.
I don't want him to move on.
I guess Tooley wants that, though, you know? To be let go.
I just don't know how I'm gonna know how to do it right.
You won't.
He did.
Yeah, Chris, but Tooley can't tell you.
What am I gonna do? What do you want to do? Shel Brad's booking out on us.
I hope that makes you happy.
I'm fixing him some munchies for the road if that doesn't embarrass you too much.
No, I think that's real neighborly.
Can I help you with that? I don't really think it takes two people to pack a lunch.
Hello, Holling.
Ed.
Brad.
Hey, has my ride shown up yet? I haven't seen anybody.
Oh.
Well, I'll take a quart of tequila for the road, two limes, and some salt.
I'll see what I've got back there that hasn't been opened.
Oops, hey, Shelly.
I wrapped up some food and stuff, in case you get hungry.
Hey, all right! Chow! And I made this card for you.
I did the picture myself.
Cool.
"The moon tonight, it don't hear you talking "the man at the door, he can't hear you knocking "so what's there to do but just keep on rocking?" Hey, that's deep.
Did you write that? You did.
Yeah, right.
Here you go.
Last of the lot.
It's on the house.
Hey, thanks.
Sorry, no limes.
And Brad, I just couldn't keep this.
Not that you probably don't have a million more just like it but I just couldn't.
I kiped it.
Well, that's very something of you.
Do you have to go so soon? Well, yeah.
Got this Commonwealth gig thing to do in Europe.
Yeah, whatever.
And I can't waste any more time messing around here, you know? Got the world to save, man.
Rock on.
Hey, right on! Absolutely! I think that guy over there's looking for you, Brad.
Oh, right.
So keep rocking, and I'll see you in the record stores.
Yeah! Bye.
Bye.
Brad! Wait a sec.
You forgot your food.
Oh, yeah, right.
Thanks.
Bye.
Now it's just gonna be Cicely again.
Just plain old Cicely.
Day after Christmas doesn't even feel this glumpy.
This was his, Shelly.
Thanks, Ed.
Wanna thank everybody for showing up today and I apologize for leaving you all hanging back at my funeral-by-the-book.
I may have fizzled, but as the stalwart Scot Robert Burns said "Try, try again.
" And seeing how this release we've arranged for Tooley today was inspired by Maggie O'Connell I've asked her to come up here and say a few words.
Maggie? Thanks, Chris.
Well you know, I don't know if I've ever had any real heroes in my life.
Maybe Amelia Earhart, Georgia O'Keefe, Chrissie Evert.
But they were more influences.
But with Tooley Chris had a real-life hero.
Real flesh and blood.
Someone who taught him, inspired him.
Someone he could point to and say "I want to have his wisdom, his courage.
"I want to be just like that.
" You're a lucky guy.
Thanks.
Ten centuries back the fallen Viking warrior was let go released to his second death adrift a burning boat, solo his helmet and his shield across his strapping barrel chest.
Tooley wasn't Scandinavian, exactly but he did embody the spirit and the physique of the mighty Norseman.
And true, we don't have a boat to set aflame, but we have the fling which Webster's describes as a brief time of wild pleasures.
In just a handful of seconds Tooley is going to experience things we can only imagine.
He's gonna soar like an albatross and plunge like a grayling into the crystal waters to start on a fling of his own to places that we can only ponder in the daylight and experience in our dreams.
You ready, Ed? Ready! In another life, my friend.