Phineas and Ferb s04e04 Episode Script

But, you honor, how could I have robbed that bank if I was already wearing the prison jumpsuit? It just doesn't make any– Someday I wanna finish that dream so I can find out if I'm guilty or not.
What?! Voilà! Buford, what are you doing? Just trying out my new Tuff Shoo Laysizz! No, I mean what are you doing in our backyard so early? There are two things you should know about the Van Stomms.
One, we always set our alarms on time, and two, if we don't, we show up early and take our lumps.
We've even got a song about it.
That's okay, I do not need to hear the song.
Too late! (Song: Wake Up Better) Well Van Stomms wake up better Than anyone else on Earth It's because we have rules for sleeping That we seemed to know at birth Rule One is to set the alarm clock To precisely the proper hour! And make sure you've got time to eat breakfast, get dressed, brush your tooth, and maybe a shower We're careful with our alarm clocks We're not sloppy like those other chumps 'Cause Rule Two's if you mess up and set it too early, you show up and takes your lumps Does that answer your question? Oh, yeah.
That explains a lot.
So that's why I got up early.
What's your excuse? I'm just getting an early start on busting my brothers.
You know, you should really find a new hobby.
You've got no skills! Ha! I'd like to see you keep their contraptions from disappearing at the last second.
Is that a challenge? Because you should know that we Van Stomms never back down from a challenge! Well Stop, stop, stop! I challenge you.
Just as long as you don't sing about it.
Her loss.
The Van Stomm's Accept a Challenge song has a killer bridge.
It goes to an F sharp minor in the key of G! Calling Agent P.
Agent P.
Wake-y, wake-y, Agent P.
Over here.
No, not on the computer screen.
Though that would have made infinitely more sense.
To the right.
Down a bit.
Over a bit more.
That's right.
Hi-oh.
Carl installed a nano-screen on this trading card a few days ago, disguised as a Flynn-Fletcher family member.
Can you guess which one? Can you take that off already, Carl? You're creeping me out, man.
Okay Sorry to wake you up so early, Agent P, but evil never rests.
And by evil, I mean Doofenshmirtz.
It's not even 6 AM, and our surveillance cameras have spotted him at the local caffeination station, ordering the largest, most caffeinated beverage they sell.
Nothing good can come from this hideous spurt of energy, so get to it, Agent– Way to floss, Ferb! Who knew fighting plaque could be so much fun? Ooh! Sounds like your boys are on their way back.
Get to it, Agent P! Come to think of it, I know what we're gonna do today, Ferb.
Hey, where's Perry? That's strange.
I know.
We normally do this later in the day.
Yes.
Yes, we do.
Sweet! With Buford as my busting stooge, now I can concentrate on more important things.
It's time for "Girls Freaking Out!" Ooh, I love this show.
It makes me feel so normal.
Okay, Candace, I'm off to the beach.
Vivian called and said the waves are crankin'.
I'll have my cell with me.
Oh, that's okay.
I'm outsourcing today.
Everything will still be here when you get back.
Well, I certainly hope so.
See you later, hon.
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Gotcha! And you don't even know it yet.
That's the beauty part.
Watch this prolonged unnecessary series of events.
Okay, w-watch this.
Here it goes.
Here it goes.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah Yeah! Yes! Ha! I win! I know it's a little over the top, but I was inspired by this board game I love when I was a kid.
Well, actually, it was Roger's board game.
But I would sneak a peek of it, through the keyhole of his door.
You know, it looked like I would love it.
But, I borderline backstory.
You see, I have so much evil energy from the soy venti latte extra-caf-and-a-half quadruple sugar, blood pressure bomberino.
Love it! So, I spent the whole morning building this complex, giant version of the game.
Really, I'm surprised you didn't see it flying in.
Okay, beholding time! Behold, my Luffa-plex Dill Pickle-inator! What does it do, you ask? Well, it will launch all of my enemies into orbit, and keep them floating there so far into the atmosphere, that they won't bother me anymore.
Cool, huh? Yeah, I know the name's a little weird.
But hey, I bought it off the internet, and my rights to it expire tomorrow, so I was kinda forced to use it today.
I have so much energy from just that one cup of coffee, I just keep rambling and rambling– Ooh.
You know, that trap was always the lamest part of the game.
I always thought– Hey, Buford, you're here early.
The early bully catches the nerd, my friends.
Hello.
And my point is made for me.
Hi, guys.
I am here also.
What'cha doin'? Well, the inspiration for today's activity manifested as we performed our morning ablutions.
I love it when Phineas uses unnecessarily long words for common things like brushing your teeth and washing up.
Yes, it is gratifyingly erudite.
It's not as cute when you do it.
I am cognizant of that fact.
Introducing the Dental-Hygienosphere.
A thrill-packed adventure through the exciting and colossal world of dental hygiene.
Now, who's with us? We! Me! Too preachy for my taste, but count me in, too.
I'll help with the super structure.
Ooh! I will spray on the enamel coating.
And I'll sell ballooths.
Balloons in the shape of a tooth.
Oh, you mean toothalloons.
Ballooths? Yeah, that's toothalloons.
Where'd you get ballooths from? And I'll lock it all down, and make sure it doesn't move.
All right, safety first, I guess.
Knock yourself out.
Let's see how the rookie's doing on his assignment.
Hmm, not bad.
I kinda like his style.
Toothalloons! Get your toothalloons here! All right, everybody! All aboard the tooth-buggies.
Ferb even installed dental floss-themed seat belts.
Hmm, minty.
Woo-hoo! Not so fast! I knew it! You're giving up and just going on the ride for fun.
Not hardly.
I swiped this bad boy from the orthodontist's section, to cut off stuff sticking out of the ride that could snag a passing plane as they go along.
Listen, this thing getting snagged on a plane is just the tip of the bicuspid.
It could shrink down to the size of a real tooth and get lost in the grass.
Or turn to ice and melt into nothingness.
For all you know it could turn into a giant Ducky Momo and fly away.
Are you prepared for all that? Well I don't need to hear the We Prepare for Every Eventuality song.
Fine! For the record though, it's the Be Prepared for Every Eventuality song.
It's in the imperative tense.
Wow, the periodontal level was awesome.
Hang on to your retainers, everyone! As we travel through the pulp chamber, past the cementoenamel junction, and up, up up, to the apex of the crown.
Yeah! Woo-hoo! You know, this is pretty tame compared to other rollercoasters, but when you compare it to other dental-themed rides, it is a rush! Now you see me, now you don't.
Now you see me, now you don't.
Hey, w-where'd ya go? I've got you now, Perry the Platypus.
Ow! I've completely protected their invention from airplane snags, stray balloons, meteorites, flocks of wild gazelles, and giant cracks that form in the crust of the Earth.
What if it turns into water? Covered.
What if it turns into smoke? Covered.
What if it space harpies descend from the sky and have it for breakfast? Aw, come on, really? Totally covered.
Really? And how did– I sprayed it with Space Harpy Repellent.
Yeah, okay.
Just make sure it's still here when I come back with my mom.
Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! If there's one thing us Van Stomms do, we make sure things are still there when people get back with their moms.
Well.
.
Hold still so I can hit you fair and square! Ow, really? Oh, man! Random green rays from the sky! I forgot about random green rays from the sky! Oh, no! Not on my watch.
Oh, man! I've run out of conveniently placed objects.
Bingo! Comin' through! My toothaloons! Yeah, they weren't sellin' anyway.
Not on my watch! Ah, the helium tank! Actually, it's kind of ironic when you think about it.
Not on my watch! Yes, the human shield tactic never fails.
Huh? Man, I knew I should've hung on to that laser.
Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Let us go again! Maybe not.
I guess they ain't called Tuff Shoo Laysizz! for nothing.
Prepare to be blitzed by my inexplicable, newfound martial arts mastery! I hate to ask, Perry the Platypus, but have you seen my other– Oh, there it is.
Oh, yeah, that's what I was planning to do.
Perry the Platypus, looks like this is the end for you.
Just not nice! Well, I hope that lands in the backyard of a giant who needs a fake tooth.
H-Hey did you say You know, I kind of like to sit back and relax after all that manual labour.
Uh-oh.
I've got a song about how Van Stomms fall from the sky too, but it doesn't end well.
That was so much fun.
Too bad, Buford missed it all.
I wonder where he got to.
Hello.
Hey, Buford.
Are those Tuff Shoo Laysizz! Yes.
Yes, they are.
Right over here, Mom.
Ta-da! Hi, Mom! Hi, Candace! What are you guys up to? Buford, are you okay? Just putting my new laysizz through their paces.
Okay, then.
Then, I'm going inside.
Who wants pie? Ah, yes! I do.
I do! Yeah, me too.
I always want pie.
Buford, explain yourself! Well I'm out of here! If we Van Stomms don't succeed on the very first try Then, we just give up.
Just in case anyone's wondering what happened to old Doofenshmirtz, I'm okay.
Yeah, well– Okay, well, obviously not now.