Remington Steele (1982) s04e04 Episode Script
Grappling Steele
Crunch! Crunch! - You're afraid for your life? - Embarrassing, huh? So I just closed my eyes and squeezed! All right, so I hit him.
But he had it coming, the slimeball.
- Crunch.
- He shrunk.
- Getting interesting, isn't it? - To the Velvet Vandal.
May he tear that bum Crunch Kramer's guts out tomorrow night.
What a beautiful sentiment.
Aren't these seats great? That Dangerous Darryl is some hunk.
Woof! Who's his feathered friend? Oh.
Chief Goody Two-shoes.
Don't you just love the name? - Boo! - Mildred! - Sit down.
Behave yourself.
- No.
Dangerous Darryl is the bad guy.
You're supposed to boo.
I thought you said this was your first time here.
Well, maybe just one other time.
The winner and still the number one challenger the Velvet Vandal- Dangerous Darryl! Listen, you're next, Crunch Kramer! That championship belt belongs to me! That is, if you're man enough to defend it! Come on! Okay, Darryl! You want me? You got me, pal! Or should I say "sweetheart"? Saturday night, turkey! - Right here! No holds barred! - Right here, yeah! You wimp! Get him out of here! Get him out! Isn't this great? Hatpin Millie.
Hatpin Millie? - How you doin', Millie? - Hi there, Crunch.
I'd like you to meet Miss Holt.
All right.
You did it, Millie.
Glad to have you on the team, Miss Holt.
Tomorrow, huh? A night out for the girls, eh? - You're afraid for your life? - Embarrassing, huh? Somebody's out to get me.
Crunch Kramer.
Remington Steele.
Ah, yes, we've had the pleasure.
Uh- Would you excuse us a moment? Miss Holt? Laura, are you aware I've already turned Mr.
Kramer down? - You what? - Two days ago.
You can still see his shoe prints on the carpet.
Ask Mildred.
Okay, Millie, front and center.
- Give.
- I know this case has been rejected but I think Crunch really needs our help.
I had to go to the boss for a second opinion.
The boss has spoken, Mildred.
- She means me.
And she has a point.
- Aha.
You keep out of this.
I thought we had a partnership.
We do.
But it remains my agency and I have to be involved in all major decisions.
Now I think Mildred may be right in this case.
Crunch appears to be on the level.
So if you'll excuse me.
I just wanted to help, boss.
Surely you receive a lot of crank mail.
What makes you think that whoever's behind these death threats is serious? Well, two days ago, I was working out in the weight room, when zapo.
- Zapo? - Yeah, it was like this.
I put the barbell down on the supports and zapo- the legs collapsed.
That's 400 pounds across the throat.
I would've been dead for sure if my pop hadn't have been there.
Remarkable.
When you checked the supports, you found they'd been tampered with, right? Yeah.
How'd you know? Oh, call it a hunch.
Another moment, Crunch.
Laura, this, uh, death threat routine is as transparent as the man's occupation.
It is pure hype.
I disagree.
I think Crunch is genuinely afraid for his life.
Based on what? That gym incident could easily have been faked.
And those threatening letters are so general, anyone could have written them- even Crunch with his limited vocabulary.
- You're overreacting.
- Am I? Are you about to risk my good name in order to prove who's in charge here? If you're so concerned with your name- which, incidentally, I gave you- why don't you dig up some proof that Crunch is faking this? Or would a little legwork prove fatal to your system? On the contrary.
Those are precisely my intentions.
You can see, Mr.
Steele, that Crunch is in with some pretty impressive clients.
Indeed, Mr.
Shelby.
Indeed.
What does this say? "To Art.
Thanks for making it happen.
" Ah, yes.
That was the year he broke the record for the highest salary in the NBA.
A touching moment, I'm sure.
Ah, promotion.
That's the name of the game, eh, Shelby? Take these, uh, threats on Crunch's life.
The press will really run with that, won't they? I resent the insinuation, Mr.
Steele.
I love wrestling too much to make a travesty out of it.
Of course you do.
My apologies.
I see also that you manage Dangerous Darryl.
Is that cricket? Oh, yes.
I've got all the top contenders signed.
No doubt he'll dearly love to wear Crunch's championship belt, eh? - Like all the others.
- Any chances? - Mmm, someday.
- Oh, the poor boy must be devoured with jealousy.
Naturally.
That's what makes for a record-breaking gate.
Thank you, Mr.
Shelby, for the inspiring discussion about this, um sport of yours.
My pleasure.
Yeah, when Mom died, Pop was really lost.
Then I found this place near the gym so Pop and I could spend a lot of time together.
- You're a very devoted son.
- Hey, he busted his buns to put me through college.
I owe him.
- Mike? - My real name's Mike Molinski.
Yeah, Pop.
Hey, Pop, this is Miss Holt, a private investigator.
Oh, pleased to meet you.
Come on in.
I heard a woman's voice.
I thought it was Mary.
Such a sweet girl.
Always bringing me almond-fudge ice cream.
Calls every day.
Pop, Mary and I are divorced, remember? Okay, okay.
I get the message.
Sit down, won't you, miss? Have a piece of fruit.
Uh, no.
No thanks.
I just wanted to ask you about the accident at the gym.
Okay, my son the jock here sets down the weights and all of a sudden the supports look like a pretzel.
The next thing I know, he's strangling to death.
Thank God it was me there instead of Miss Whatnot in her silk pajamas.
Hey, Pop, her name's Whitney.
It's Whitney Chambers, my girlfriend.
Whitney Chambers, the soap opera star? Guess you don't read People magazine, huh? Yeah, Whitney, "Whatney.
" To me, next to Mary, she's a whatnot.
Pop, it's over with Mary and me.
It's dead.
A lot of people get back together again after a divorce.
Pop, she tried to kill me comin' out of the courtroom.
You were serious about your ex-wife trying to kill you? Mary? Nah.
She was just a little ticked off.
I mean, here she tries to sock me for more alimony and the judge reduces it to a buck a year.
That seems a bit harsh.
Well, she'd been dragging me into court every three months to up the ante and I guess the judge just got a little fed up with it.
But she did say she wanted to see you dead? Yeah.
Right after she threw the courtroom steno machine at me.
The judge left her with nothin', except a life insurance policy on me.
How much is that worth, Crunch? A million even.
All those zeros can add up to quite a motive for some people.
I think it's time we drop in on your ex.
Let's check with the neighbors.
Maybe they know where she is.
Yeah, I think I'll stay here.
Mary's kind of turned the neighbors against me.
Crunch? Is that you? - Oh, hi, Mary.
- You've come back.
Uh, for my championship belt.
I- I rang the bell.
You don't know how long I've dreamed of this moment.
- You have? - Here we are just you and I, alone.
I was upstairs in the shower and I heard a noise, and so I ran downstairs.
And there you were, climbing through the window.
An intruder! So I-I grabbed the gun that you bought me to protect myself.
- Mary, what are you doing? - And I couldn't see who it was.
So I just closed my eyes and squeezed! - Call the police! - Look at this place! The paint is peeling! And the lawn.
You've seen the lawn? It's brown! Because I can't afford a gardener! The ex-Mrs.
Molinski, I presume? - Any questions about a motive? - I'm sold.
Mr.
Steele.
! I hate to destroy your hype theory, but I've just come from the police station.
They're holding Crunch's ex-wife for attempted murder.
- What? - Now it's up to Crunch to press charges.
Hey.
! Somebody.
! Help.
! Quick.
! Give me a hand.
! The pressure gauge is ready to blow.
Crunch.
He shrunk.
Crunch Kramer's dead.
! Call the cops.
! Call somebody.
! - Crunch is dead.
! - Hey, what's all the noise? Arthur Shelby.
We were gonna talk business in the steam room, like always.
Well, Miss Holt, at least we can be certain of one thing.
Crunch's ex-wife isn't responsible for this one.
Okay, you guys.
Come on.
Move your buns.
Back off.
The show's over.
Hmm.
- A parking token.
- Mmm, yes.
I must confess, Laura.
The hype theory's looking a bit pale right now.
Someone deliberately jammed the latch so Shelby couldn't get out.
Obviously, someone who saw the robe and thought it was Crunch.
Any ideas, Mr.
Steele? Yes, as a matter of fact.
Dangerous Darryl, heir apparent to Crunch's throne the very man I came to see.
Where was he when Shelby was being parboiled, eh? Crunch.
! Oh, no.
! Oh! Oh, no! Crunch, no.
- Oh, Crunch.
- Whitney.
Crunch? Shelby? - It was all an accident, baby.
- Oh! Whitney Chambers, star of Rage to Live.
- Rage to Live? - She plays Tiffany Ames the sophisticated socialite heroine who, despite all of her money, really has a good heart.
- But is constantly being hounded by- - Mildred.
I thought you were gonna check on Dangerous Darryl's whereabouts.
I just love happy endings.
Mildred, a man is dead and his murderer is on the loose.
I- I'd hardly call that a happy ending.
Good point.
Catch you later.
Okay, Whitney, everything's cool.
Crunch is okay.
Let's get back to the studio and finish taping, huh? Thank you, Todd but my place is with Crunch right now.
Tell them to shoot around me.
I'll come in early tomorrow.
I want you back in the studio now.
We have a career to think about, or at least, we had one until you started mooning over old Crunchy here.
Your image is slipping badly, baby- from high-class right into the dumper.
You heard her, Myerson.
She'll be at the studio tomorrow.
You know something, Crunch? When I heard that bulletin you were dead, I didn't care.
No, that's wrong.
I was glad.
Glad you were finally out of my life for good.
Getting interesting, isn't it? Crunch! The retirement hotel just called.
Your father's collapsed.
Pop, what happened? Well, I heard the radio say you were dead, so I figured why live? Then I heard the radio got it wrong, so I guess I'll survive.
I can't tell you how relieved we both are, Mr.
Molinski.
- You really had us frightened.
- Why, thank you, Whitney.
It's nice of you to come.
Oh, darn it.
No water for my pill.
Whitney, sweetheart, would you be good enough to get me some ice water, please? Sure, Dad.
My pleasure.
Why don't I, uh, give Whitney a hand, eh? - I won't talk with that phony in here.
- Pop, will you stop? Let's face it.
She's tinsel.
I wouldn't give you two cents.
Come on, Pop.
Oh, Mike, I know you think I'm bein' a hard guy, but I'm only thinkin' of you.
Oh, the plans your mother and I had for you.
College graduate- the first in the family.
Yeah, what have you done with it? Hey, Pop, wrestling's the hottest thing goin' today.
Yeah, what about tomorrow when wrestling's not so hot? Look, your manager's dead.
Where are you without him? It's time you find a career, get some foundation.
And another thing.
You think Miss Soap Opera Star's gonna give you a family? It's like a ritual.
I come to visit the old man sends me out for ice water so he can tell Crunch to drop me.
- Why? - He hates me.
He thinks I don't really care for Crunch- That I'm just a- a flighty actress who's using his son for some cheap publicity.
- What? - Nothing, I, uh- You don't know what a nice girl like me is doing with a muscle-bound cartoon like Crunch? I wouldn't have put it quite like that.
I love him, Mr.
Steele.
For some reason, I felt like you'd understand.
Uh, tell me, Whitney.
When you and your manager arrived at the gym today- Oh, Todd wasn't with me.
I had my limo.
I don't know where he came from.
Even so, he doesn't seem too keen on your relationship.
- The press has labeled our romance "Beauty and the Beast.
" - Oh.
Todd thinks the publicity will ruin my acting and singing career.
- You sing as well? - Soaps don't last forever.
- My first musical special shoots live tomorrow night.
- Oh.
I'll tell you, with Todd, the whole thing comes down to money.
He's been so concerned that Crunch is getting more mileage out of our relationship than I am that he actually accused Crunch's manager of arranging the whole thing.
He accused Shelby? Oh, it was a big fight.
Can you believe it? On the contrary.
The more I think about it the more sense it seems to make.
Do you really think Myerson might have been gunning for Shelby? It's Hollywood, Laura.
Anything's possible.
You need a token.
You don't realize how brilliant a deduction that is, Mr.
Steele.
- Done it again, have I? - The token I found near Shelby's body.
Mmm.
"B.
B.
P.
" Blueberry Productions- Todd Myerson's management company.
Perhaps it wasn't a case of mistaken identity after all.
Yeah, good thinking, Laura.
Hold on to the evidence at all cost.
No, no, no, no, no.
The hair- It's all wrong.
What am I looking at here? What, is she in pain or something? - Would you buy that poster? - Uh, Mr.
Myerson- In a minute.
Okay.
Now, that one has some possibilities.
Class-That's what we're selling here.
Weren't you at the gym today? Remington Steele.
My associate, Laura Holt.
We're private investigators.
- So? - We'd like to have a little chat.
Specifically, about your relationship with Arthur Shelby.
- Get out.
- What were you doing at the gym when Shelby was murdered? - I was with Whitney, okay? - Uh, she disagrees, old chap.
Get out, or I'll call the police.
Please do.
Go right ahead.
So I happened to be at the gym.
Big deal.
That cut on your knuckle? I ran into some coral scuba diving.
Oh, judging by the bruises on Shelby's face it looks more like your fist connected with his cheekbone.
All right, so I hit him.
But he had it coming, the slimeball.
Do you know how often a Whitney Chambers comes along? Maybe once in a manager's life.
But Shelby and that freako Crunch have been destroying everything I've worked for.
I created a Cartier necklace.
They're turning it into rhinestones.
- You had it in for Crunch, too? - You bet I did.
And sent anonymous death threats? Whatever it took to get him and Shelby to back off.
- Eventually murder? - Yes.
- I mean, no.
- Oh.
Now, look.
I didn't kill him.
- Mmm.
- Well done, Mr.
Steele.
I think we can call the police now.
Yes? It's for you.
Thank you.
Yes? Steele here.
Mildred.
What? Okay.
Thank you.
Bye.
Hmm.
Come along, Miss Holt.
We won't take up any more of this gentleman's time.
What are you talking about? This gentleman murdered Arthur Shelby and tried to kill Crunch.
Negative.
While we were here with Myerson someone made another attempt on Crunch's life.
Good day.
Wonderful, Laura.
Thus far, we've produced two prime suspects and personally provided them both with airtight alibis.
- Hazards of the trade, Mr.
Steele.
- Great.
- What happened? - I was rehearsing "It's Only a Paper Moon" and Crunch came crashing down.
I must have dropped 30 feet.
Thank God he landed on that.
It saved his life.
What were you doing on the moon, Crunch? We were planning on me making a surprise entrance.
- I thought the audience would love it.
- The chain just snapped? Jake Reilly, my stage manager.
It sure wasn't any accident.
I checked the chain myself an hour ago.
It was fine.
Now look.
- File marks.
- Now that you're in good hands, hon I've got to go back to the soap opera taping, or Todd's gonna kill me.
Bad line.
Well, I gotta go, too, to meet Darryl.
Ah, the elusive Velvet Vandal.
If you don't mind, Crunch, I think we'd better tag along.
Ah, sure.
Crunch! Crunch! - What was that? - Hip toss.
I thought it'd look good.
Hey, just stick to the routine, huh? Come on.
Aah! What in the hell was that? Crunch, this is a grudge match.
I should be pulling out all the stops so the crowd really hates me.
For the last time, Darryl, stick to the routine, huh? Hello, Mildred.
- What's the word on our challenger? - Not much.
Real name: Darryl Simmons.
Former professional bodyguard.
Had his own florist shop for a while.
Unmarried.
Lives alone.
- Florist shop? - Mm-hmm.
One.
Watch this, boss.
Two, three.
Here it comes.
Four.
- Oh.
- All right.
That's more like it.
See you tomorrow night.
I do know one thing.
Crunch shouldn't go home tonight for his own safety.
So why don't I, uh, drop him off at his father's? Mm-hmm.
Good idea.
Then I think we should concentrate on how to get the inside story on, uh Dangerous Darryl, mmm? - Hey, Pop.
- Hey, Mike.
What a pleasant surprise.
- And you brought Miss, uh- - Holt.
Yeah, sorry.
So you want to spend another night with the old man, huh? Just like old times, hey, kid? Yeah, I'm gonna get my bags.
So, Miss Holt, you takin' good care of my son? On the professional level.
But on the emotional level, I'm afraid only you can help.
Oh, yeah? How's that? By coming to the match tomorrow night.
No.
Absolutely not.
When he starts wrestling an executive chair like a normal college graduate, then I'll come.
But it's important to Crunch.
He wants you there.
Wrong.
Whitney- That's who he wants there so she can take over his entire life.
Aren't you being a little harsh? Whitney is a talented actress very much in love with your son.
Ah, actress you can have.
And love.
Huh.
That girl is nothing but a gold digger.
You should've heard her and Shelby.
You'd blush.
- Shelby? - Talk about hate.
Whitney was after Mike to dump Shelby.
Why? Well, it seems she wanted Mike to be on her TV show.
When Shelby refused to rearrange Mike's schedule to allow it, she went nuts.
I'll bet.
Having Crunch appear on Rage to Live would certainly boost her ratings.
I wonder how much she thought that was worth.
- Filter Pure man.
- There must be some mistake.
Oh, wow.
It's really you.
Um, Harley Ferguson president of Velvet Vandal Fan Club, uh, Reseda chapter.
Oh, wow.
Oh, I'm sorry for the disguise but I just wanted to tell you how much pleasure you've given our 42 members.
- Forty-two? - Mm-hmm.
Harley, would- Would you like to come in? Oh, wow.
Oh, thank you very much.
Yes.
Oh, look at this.
You know, I never even knew I had a fan club.
Really? You've never seen us up in the balcony in our velvet sweats, huh? No, bless your hearts.
Here.
A lovely '83 fumé blanc from Mendocino County.
Oh.
Oh- Oh, thanks.
Let me just put this down.
Thank you very much.
What about a toast, eh? To the Velvet Vandal.
May he tear that bum Crunch Kramer's guts out tomorrow night and turn them into sausage.
What a beautiful sentiment.
Mmm.
But, hey, I guess you guys are really big buddies outside the ring, huh? Au contraire, Harley.
- Kramer's the bane of my existence.
- Really? - Some Brie? - Oh, thank you.
So the- So that's all- That's for real, everything there? Oh, I'm snarling on the outside, but I'm dying on the inside.
I mean, here Crunch is Mr.
Everything, while I'm the big, bruising bad guy.
Me, Darryl Simmons, who sang in the church choir for 15 years who's never even had a parking ticket.
When I think of all those impressionable kids out there- Ah, what's the use? Major bummer, huh? Do you have any idea what it's like to be hissed and booed every day of your life? Or having some loudmouth biddy jab your derriere with a hatpin wherever you go? Some baba au rhum balls? But you're a star.
I mean, your picture's in all those magazines.
Your-Your velvet bow tie and your briefs are a fashion craze.
If you only knew.
That was his idea.
- Everything was his idea.
- Who? Crunch Kramer.
He owns my contract.
You're joking.
You mean to say- Two years ago in Sausalito an aspiring young wrestler named Darryl Simmons saw his flower shop going under.
He needed cash fast.
Kramer had me by the biceps.
What could I do? I signed my future away to him.
I wish he was dead.
God, I wish he was dead.
What are you doing? That's Waterford Crystal.
I'm sorry.
I thought it was a ritual.
Ah.
- Damn it, Tiffany.
What will it take to convince you? Eileen and I had an affair back then, butJulian is not my child.
I hate it when you lie, Richard.
Almost as much as I am learning to hate you.
- He's telling the truth, Tiffany.
- Gunther.
BecauseJulian is my son.
Stop tape.
Terrific.
That's a buy.
Let's go to the next set.
Good.
Jimmy.
Listen, I am getting very far behind here.
I'm gonna need your help here.
- Okay? Oop.
Excuse me.
- Laura Holt.
A.
F.
I.
intern in television directing.
I'll be observing for two weeks.
Love your work.
Really? I didn't know that they put interns on soaps.
Oh, we don't refer to them as soaps, sir.
We call them "continuing dramas" an extremely important part of our native culture.
- Well, I've always thought so.
- Absolutely.
I have a question.
Ask, my child.
I, uh, understand Whitney Chambers walked off the set yesterday.
How do you, uh, handle something like this? Oh, actors.
We should lock 'em up each night and truck 'em to the set in the morning.
- You'll learn.
- Well, what happened? Whitney told me that her character would never do what was in the script.
I told her there wasn't time to make a change so she promptly marched off and locked herself in the dressing room.
When did she go in there? About 11:00.
Didn't come out till 2:00.
So what did you do? The only thing you can do in a situation like that, honey.
I caved.
I rewrote the scene even read it through the locked door, but she wouldn't answer.
I gave up.
When she finally came out she acted as if nothing had happened.
Ten minutes later, she finds out her boyfriend's had an accident and she splits for the rest of the day.
- Actors.
- Are you sure Whitney was in her dressing room the entire three hours? You're really a nut for detail, aren't you? It's the academic in me, I'm afraid.
No.
No, no.
It's charming.
Keep it in.
To be technical, uh, no, I can't vouch that she was there but where else would she have gone? One can only guess.
Ah, Benito, my friend.
Steele here.
Yes, I'm very well.
And you? Good, good.
Listen, uh, the usual table for two tonight at 8:00.
Yes, something of a celebration.
Okay, my man.
Thank you.
Mille grazie.
Yes.
Bye-bye.
Ah, Laura, great news.
We have our man, dead to rights.
- Who? - Dangerous Darryl, just as I suspected.
What if I told you that the killer is not a him, but a her? A her named Whitney Chambers.
Don't do this to me.
My stomach's preparing for antipasto.
And Shelby was the intended victim all along.
- Linguine and clam sauce.
- Whitney was supposedly in her dressing room - from 11:00 to 2:00.
- A little veal.
- Shelby was killed at 1:00.
- Chianti.
- You think about it.
- Oh, yeah.
Now, Whitney wants Crunch to appear on her show, but Shelby refuses to give in.
Whitney would have been carrying the same parking token found near Shelby's body.
Ah, yes, but it can't be Whitney.
- She loves Crunch too much to jeopardize anything- - Whoa-oa-oa.
Is this the same man who refused this case because everything was pure hype? Ah, hype on the professional level, Laura, not on the personal level, huh? - Nice try.
- Ah, just like you and me, eh? - Oh? How? - A little hype on the professional level, eh? - And on the personal level? - Oh, I don't know.
Mmm.
I knew I should have buzzed.
Our tickets for tonight's championship match.
- I know I'm a relative newcomer to your country, Laura but I thought "The Star-Spangled Banner" was your national anthem? - This is "The Star-Spangled Banner"- - Oh.
- spangled by a star.
- Shh.
And now, introducing the worthy challenger at 250 pounds of marvelous muscle- Dangerous Darryl! Boo.
Sit down, you bum.
Boo! Hi, guy.
All in the line of duty, Laura.
And his challenger and the worthy champion of the All-World Association at 235 pounds- the popular Crunch Kramer! Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! Crunch Crunch! Crunch! Crunch Whoo-hoo! Look who made it after all.
Boo! I see Mrs.
Molinski made bail.
I hope you have a scorecard.
Come on.
Come on! - Come on, Crunch! - Come on! That's my boy.
- Crunch! Crunch! - Crunch! Crunch! Crunch.
! Crunch.
! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! - Boo.
! - Come on.
! Get him.
! Get him.
Crunch.
! Crunch.
! Crunch.
! One! Two.
! Three! Four! Oh! Count! Count! - He's got 20 seconds to get back in.
- One, two - three- - Oh.
Excuse me there, darling.
Up you go.
four, five, six- - Crunch, Crunch, Crunch.
Someone get a doctor, will they? - Oh! - nine, 10.
! - Oh, no.
Go ahead.
Raise my arm.
I'm the new world champion! Raise my arm! Yes! Yes! Yes! - Are you sure? - Positive.
Here you go.
Cut right through with a sharp instrument, wouldn't you say? Dangerous Darryl? All hail the champion.
Hmm.
Quite an upset, eh? Uh, sorry, no autographs, Harley.
If you'll excuse me, the press is waiting.
Anxious to hear how you cut the ropes, are they? I beg your pardon? Remington Steele.
My associate, Laura Holt.
- And I thought you were a fan.
- Neat trick winning the championship despite following the script to perfection.
Out of my way.
Two days ago, when Shelby was murdered exactly where were you, Darryl? Hatpin Millie! Oh.
- Ooh! - Oh.
Wow.
Excellent, Laura.
A championship belt if ever I saw one.
Oh.
Not exactly a shabby day's work.
Putting Darryl behind bars for the "mistaken identity" murder of Arthur Shelby, hmm? - I'm sure Darryl's alibi won't hold up.
- Mmm.
Now on to more urgent matters.
Pleased? Case closed.
You in my arms.
What more can I ask for? Mmm.
I think you just answered my question.
Don't answer it.
- Ah, yes? Mildred.
- Mildred.
- Your phone's out of order.
- For a reason, Mildred.
Turn on the TV.
Maybe they'll do a recap on the late show.
A recap of what? Mildred, couldn't this wait till morning, on company time? I'm telling you, I am so consumed with the Crunch Kramer case that I forgot to eat.
Uh.
Consumed by what, Mildred? The thought that you'd nailed the wrong guy for murder.
- What? - I'm telling you.
When I left the arena, somethin' didn't sit right.
So I went home and I did what you did.
I doubt that very much, Mildred.
I paced, back and forth, reviewing every detail.
Now, we eliminated Crunch's ex-wife because she was with you when Shelby was murdered.
So was Whitney's manager when someone tried to turn out Crunch's lights at Whitney's rehearsal.
But what about Darryl? Hmm? Then it hit me.
Darryl, too, has an airtight alibi.
- He does? - There it was on the TV.
I caught the last bit of Whitney's special tonight after the match.
They showed her coming down on that big moon.
- And it hit me.
- Not hard enough, as far as I'm concerned.
I picked up the phone, and I called the soundstage.
Sure enough, the stage manager told me that the moon is part of Whitney's routine.
Yesterday, when Crunch Kramer came down on it, it was simply a gag.
- Which means- - That the mystery killer assumed Whitney would be sitting there, not Crunch.
Meaning that whoever cut the cable was out to kill Whitney.
Which leaves Dangerous Darryl- without a motive.
- Pretty good, huh? - Mmm.
Oh, absolute magic, Mildred.
You made a perfect evening disappear- like that.
Now, the question is, with Mary Molinski, Todd Myerson and Dangerous Darryl out of the picture, whom does that leave? - Mr.
Steele, would you stop pacing? - Why? It worked for Mildred.
- All right.
Think now.
Think.
- All right.
Who would have it in for both Whitney and Shelby? Of course.
- Busy.
- Keep trying.
Oh, I love you too, Crunch.
See you in a little bit.
Bye.
- Hello? - Whitney, thank goodness we caught you.
This is Laura Holt.
Now, I want you to listen very carefully.
- Lock your door.
- Lock my door? Why? We think the man who killed Shelby is going to come after you.
- Who? - Al Molinski, Crunch's father.
- Mr.
Molinski? - We'll explain later.
The important thing is that you stay put until we get there.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Will do.
Pop.
So good to see you.
Likewise, I'm sure.
I was just on my way to see Crunch.
If you'd like to get the car, we could go together.
I already got it.
Terrific.
Uh, here.
Could you help me out with my coat? They'll know it's you.
Me? Ha! A feeble old man everybody thinks can't even stay awake for Merv Griffin.
And you, a young bimbo all alone here after midnight.
Please! For Crunch's sake! Over there! Hit the lights.
Not on me, Laura! On the stage! Oh.
! - Oh.
! Oh.
! - It's all over, Mr.
Molinski! There you go.
- Are you all right? - I think so.
Thanks.
Al Molinski's psychiatric evaluation just arrived.
He may never go to trial.
The poor guy.
The thought of losing his son to show business was more than he could stand.
To him, Whitney symbolized the entire industry.
Mmm, and he thought Shelby was responsible for Crunch's success.
By killing Shelby, he thought Crunch's career would collapse.
Huh.
I just thought of that old movie.
What old movie? You know, A Bill of- whatchamacallit with-with who's-it and what's his name.
Ah, yes.
A Bill of Divorcement.
Uh, John Barrymore, Katharine Hepburn.
RKO, 1932.
A mentally disturbed father tries to disrupt his daughter's marriage.
Uh, not bad for a beginner, Laura.
I'm learning, Mr.
Steele.
So you are, Miss Holt.
So you are.
But he had it coming, the slimeball.
- Crunch.
- He shrunk.
- Getting interesting, isn't it? - To the Velvet Vandal.
May he tear that bum Crunch Kramer's guts out tomorrow night.
What a beautiful sentiment.
Aren't these seats great? That Dangerous Darryl is some hunk.
Woof! Who's his feathered friend? Oh.
Chief Goody Two-shoes.
Don't you just love the name? - Boo! - Mildred! - Sit down.
Behave yourself.
- No.
Dangerous Darryl is the bad guy.
You're supposed to boo.
I thought you said this was your first time here.
Well, maybe just one other time.
The winner and still the number one challenger the Velvet Vandal- Dangerous Darryl! Listen, you're next, Crunch Kramer! That championship belt belongs to me! That is, if you're man enough to defend it! Come on! Okay, Darryl! You want me? You got me, pal! Or should I say "sweetheart"? Saturday night, turkey! - Right here! No holds barred! - Right here, yeah! You wimp! Get him out of here! Get him out! Isn't this great? Hatpin Millie.
Hatpin Millie? - How you doin', Millie? - Hi there, Crunch.
I'd like you to meet Miss Holt.
All right.
You did it, Millie.
Glad to have you on the team, Miss Holt.
Tomorrow, huh? A night out for the girls, eh? - You're afraid for your life? - Embarrassing, huh? Somebody's out to get me.
Crunch Kramer.
Remington Steele.
Ah, yes, we've had the pleasure.
Uh- Would you excuse us a moment? Miss Holt? Laura, are you aware I've already turned Mr.
Kramer down? - You what? - Two days ago.
You can still see his shoe prints on the carpet.
Ask Mildred.
Okay, Millie, front and center.
- Give.
- I know this case has been rejected but I think Crunch really needs our help.
I had to go to the boss for a second opinion.
The boss has spoken, Mildred.
- She means me.
And she has a point.
- Aha.
You keep out of this.
I thought we had a partnership.
We do.
But it remains my agency and I have to be involved in all major decisions.
Now I think Mildred may be right in this case.
Crunch appears to be on the level.
So if you'll excuse me.
I just wanted to help, boss.
Surely you receive a lot of crank mail.
What makes you think that whoever's behind these death threats is serious? Well, two days ago, I was working out in the weight room, when zapo.
- Zapo? - Yeah, it was like this.
I put the barbell down on the supports and zapo- the legs collapsed.
That's 400 pounds across the throat.
I would've been dead for sure if my pop hadn't have been there.
Remarkable.
When you checked the supports, you found they'd been tampered with, right? Yeah.
How'd you know? Oh, call it a hunch.
Another moment, Crunch.
Laura, this, uh, death threat routine is as transparent as the man's occupation.
It is pure hype.
I disagree.
I think Crunch is genuinely afraid for his life.
Based on what? That gym incident could easily have been faked.
And those threatening letters are so general, anyone could have written them- even Crunch with his limited vocabulary.
- You're overreacting.
- Am I? Are you about to risk my good name in order to prove who's in charge here? If you're so concerned with your name- which, incidentally, I gave you- why don't you dig up some proof that Crunch is faking this? Or would a little legwork prove fatal to your system? On the contrary.
Those are precisely my intentions.
You can see, Mr.
Steele, that Crunch is in with some pretty impressive clients.
Indeed, Mr.
Shelby.
Indeed.
What does this say? "To Art.
Thanks for making it happen.
" Ah, yes.
That was the year he broke the record for the highest salary in the NBA.
A touching moment, I'm sure.
Ah, promotion.
That's the name of the game, eh, Shelby? Take these, uh, threats on Crunch's life.
The press will really run with that, won't they? I resent the insinuation, Mr.
Steele.
I love wrestling too much to make a travesty out of it.
Of course you do.
My apologies.
I see also that you manage Dangerous Darryl.
Is that cricket? Oh, yes.
I've got all the top contenders signed.
No doubt he'll dearly love to wear Crunch's championship belt, eh? - Like all the others.
- Any chances? - Mmm, someday.
- Oh, the poor boy must be devoured with jealousy.
Naturally.
That's what makes for a record-breaking gate.
Thank you, Mr.
Shelby, for the inspiring discussion about this, um sport of yours.
My pleasure.
Yeah, when Mom died, Pop was really lost.
Then I found this place near the gym so Pop and I could spend a lot of time together.
- You're a very devoted son.
- Hey, he busted his buns to put me through college.
I owe him.
- Mike? - My real name's Mike Molinski.
Yeah, Pop.
Hey, Pop, this is Miss Holt, a private investigator.
Oh, pleased to meet you.
Come on in.
I heard a woman's voice.
I thought it was Mary.
Such a sweet girl.
Always bringing me almond-fudge ice cream.
Calls every day.
Pop, Mary and I are divorced, remember? Okay, okay.
I get the message.
Sit down, won't you, miss? Have a piece of fruit.
Uh, no.
No thanks.
I just wanted to ask you about the accident at the gym.
Okay, my son the jock here sets down the weights and all of a sudden the supports look like a pretzel.
The next thing I know, he's strangling to death.
Thank God it was me there instead of Miss Whatnot in her silk pajamas.
Hey, Pop, her name's Whitney.
It's Whitney Chambers, my girlfriend.
Whitney Chambers, the soap opera star? Guess you don't read People magazine, huh? Yeah, Whitney, "Whatney.
" To me, next to Mary, she's a whatnot.
Pop, it's over with Mary and me.
It's dead.
A lot of people get back together again after a divorce.
Pop, she tried to kill me comin' out of the courtroom.
You were serious about your ex-wife trying to kill you? Mary? Nah.
She was just a little ticked off.
I mean, here she tries to sock me for more alimony and the judge reduces it to a buck a year.
That seems a bit harsh.
Well, she'd been dragging me into court every three months to up the ante and I guess the judge just got a little fed up with it.
But she did say she wanted to see you dead? Yeah.
Right after she threw the courtroom steno machine at me.
The judge left her with nothin', except a life insurance policy on me.
How much is that worth, Crunch? A million even.
All those zeros can add up to quite a motive for some people.
I think it's time we drop in on your ex.
Let's check with the neighbors.
Maybe they know where she is.
Yeah, I think I'll stay here.
Mary's kind of turned the neighbors against me.
Crunch? Is that you? - Oh, hi, Mary.
- You've come back.
Uh, for my championship belt.
I- I rang the bell.
You don't know how long I've dreamed of this moment.
- You have? - Here we are just you and I, alone.
I was upstairs in the shower and I heard a noise, and so I ran downstairs.
And there you were, climbing through the window.
An intruder! So I-I grabbed the gun that you bought me to protect myself.
- Mary, what are you doing? - And I couldn't see who it was.
So I just closed my eyes and squeezed! - Call the police! - Look at this place! The paint is peeling! And the lawn.
You've seen the lawn? It's brown! Because I can't afford a gardener! The ex-Mrs.
Molinski, I presume? - Any questions about a motive? - I'm sold.
Mr.
Steele.
! I hate to destroy your hype theory, but I've just come from the police station.
They're holding Crunch's ex-wife for attempted murder.
- What? - Now it's up to Crunch to press charges.
Hey.
! Somebody.
! Help.
! Quick.
! Give me a hand.
! The pressure gauge is ready to blow.
Crunch.
He shrunk.
Crunch Kramer's dead.
! Call the cops.
! Call somebody.
! - Crunch is dead.
! - Hey, what's all the noise? Arthur Shelby.
We were gonna talk business in the steam room, like always.
Well, Miss Holt, at least we can be certain of one thing.
Crunch's ex-wife isn't responsible for this one.
Okay, you guys.
Come on.
Move your buns.
Back off.
The show's over.
Hmm.
- A parking token.
- Mmm, yes.
I must confess, Laura.
The hype theory's looking a bit pale right now.
Someone deliberately jammed the latch so Shelby couldn't get out.
Obviously, someone who saw the robe and thought it was Crunch.
Any ideas, Mr.
Steele? Yes, as a matter of fact.
Dangerous Darryl, heir apparent to Crunch's throne the very man I came to see.
Where was he when Shelby was being parboiled, eh? Crunch.
! Oh, no.
! Oh! Oh, no! Crunch, no.
- Oh, Crunch.
- Whitney.
Crunch? Shelby? - It was all an accident, baby.
- Oh! Whitney Chambers, star of Rage to Live.
- Rage to Live? - She plays Tiffany Ames the sophisticated socialite heroine who, despite all of her money, really has a good heart.
- But is constantly being hounded by- - Mildred.
I thought you were gonna check on Dangerous Darryl's whereabouts.
I just love happy endings.
Mildred, a man is dead and his murderer is on the loose.
I- I'd hardly call that a happy ending.
Good point.
Catch you later.
Okay, Whitney, everything's cool.
Crunch is okay.
Let's get back to the studio and finish taping, huh? Thank you, Todd but my place is with Crunch right now.
Tell them to shoot around me.
I'll come in early tomorrow.
I want you back in the studio now.
We have a career to think about, or at least, we had one until you started mooning over old Crunchy here.
Your image is slipping badly, baby- from high-class right into the dumper.
You heard her, Myerson.
She'll be at the studio tomorrow.
You know something, Crunch? When I heard that bulletin you were dead, I didn't care.
No, that's wrong.
I was glad.
Glad you were finally out of my life for good.
Getting interesting, isn't it? Crunch! The retirement hotel just called.
Your father's collapsed.
Pop, what happened? Well, I heard the radio say you were dead, so I figured why live? Then I heard the radio got it wrong, so I guess I'll survive.
I can't tell you how relieved we both are, Mr.
Molinski.
- You really had us frightened.
- Why, thank you, Whitney.
It's nice of you to come.
Oh, darn it.
No water for my pill.
Whitney, sweetheart, would you be good enough to get me some ice water, please? Sure, Dad.
My pleasure.
Why don't I, uh, give Whitney a hand, eh? - I won't talk with that phony in here.
- Pop, will you stop? Let's face it.
She's tinsel.
I wouldn't give you two cents.
Come on, Pop.
Oh, Mike, I know you think I'm bein' a hard guy, but I'm only thinkin' of you.
Oh, the plans your mother and I had for you.
College graduate- the first in the family.
Yeah, what have you done with it? Hey, Pop, wrestling's the hottest thing goin' today.
Yeah, what about tomorrow when wrestling's not so hot? Look, your manager's dead.
Where are you without him? It's time you find a career, get some foundation.
And another thing.
You think Miss Soap Opera Star's gonna give you a family? It's like a ritual.
I come to visit the old man sends me out for ice water so he can tell Crunch to drop me.
- Why? - He hates me.
He thinks I don't really care for Crunch- That I'm just a- a flighty actress who's using his son for some cheap publicity.
- What? - Nothing, I, uh- You don't know what a nice girl like me is doing with a muscle-bound cartoon like Crunch? I wouldn't have put it quite like that.
I love him, Mr.
Steele.
For some reason, I felt like you'd understand.
Uh, tell me, Whitney.
When you and your manager arrived at the gym today- Oh, Todd wasn't with me.
I had my limo.
I don't know where he came from.
Even so, he doesn't seem too keen on your relationship.
- The press has labeled our romance "Beauty and the Beast.
" - Oh.
Todd thinks the publicity will ruin my acting and singing career.
- You sing as well? - Soaps don't last forever.
- My first musical special shoots live tomorrow night.
- Oh.
I'll tell you, with Todd, the whole thing comes down to money.
He's been so concerned that Crunch is getting more mileage out of our relationship than I am that he actually accused Crunch's manager of arranging the whole thing.
He accused Shelby? Oh, it was a big fight.
Can you believe it? On the contrary.
The more I think about it the more sense it seems to make.
Do you really think Myerson might have been gunning for Shelby? It's Hollywood, Laura.
Anything's possible.
You need a token.
You don't realize how brilliant a deduction that is, Mr.
Steele.
- Done it again, have I? - The token I found near Shelby's body.
Mmm.
"B.
B.
P.
" Blueberry Productions- Todd Myerson's management company.
Perhaps it wasn't a case of mistaken identity after all.
Yeah, good thinking, Laura.
Hold on to the evidence at all cost.
No, no, no, no, no.
The hair- It's all wrong.
What am I looking at here? What, is she in pain or something? - Would you buy that poster? - Uh, Mr.
Myerson- In a minute.
Okay.
Now, that one has some possibilities.
Class-That's what we're selling here.
Weren't you at the gym today? Remington Steele.
My associate, Laura Holt.
We're private investigators.
- So? - We'd like to have a little chat.
Specifically, about your relationship with Arthur Shelby.
- Get out.
- What were you doing at the gym when Shelby was murdered? - I was with Whitney, okay? - Uh, she disagrees, old chap.
Get out, or I'll call the police.
Please do.
Go right ahead.
So I happened to be at the gym.
Big deal.
That cut on your knuckle? I ran into some coral scuba diving.
Oh, judging by the bruises on Shelby's face it looks more like your fist connected with his cheekbone.
All right, so I hit him.
But he had it coming, the slimeball.
Do you know how often a Whitney Chambers comes along? Maybe once in a manager's life.
But Shelby and that freako Crunch have been destroying everything I've worked for.
I created a Cartier necklace.
They're turning it into rhinestones.
- You had it in for Crunch, too? - You bet I did.
And sent anonymous death threats? Whatever it took to get him and Shelby to back off.
- Eventually murder? - Yes.
- I mean, no.
- Oh.
Now, look.
I didn't kill him.
- Mmm.
- Well done, Mr.
Steele.
I think we can call the police now.
Yes? It's for you.
Thank you.
Yes? Steele here.
Mildred.
What? Okay.
Thank you.
Bye.
Hmm.
Come along, Miss Holt.
We won't take up any more of this gentleman's time.
What are you talking about? This gentleman murdered Arthur Shelby and tried to kill Crunch.
Negative.
While we were here with Myerson someone made another attempt on Crunch's life.
Good day.
Wonderful, Laura.
Thus far, we've produced two prime suspects and personally provided them both with airtight alibis.
- Hazards of the trade, Mr.
Steele.
- Great.
- What happened? - I was rehearsing "It's Only a Paper Moon" and Crunch came crashing down.
I must have dropped 30 feet.
Thank God he landed on that.
It saved his life.
What were you doing on the moon, Crunch? We were planning on me making a surprise entrance.
- I thought the audience would love it.
- The chain just snapped? Jake Reilly, my stage manager.
It sure wasn't any accident.
I checked the chain myself an hour ago.
It was fine.
Now look.
- File marks.
- Now that you're in good hands, hon I've got to go back to the soap opera taping, or Todd's gonna kill me.
Bad line.
Well, I gotta go, too, to meet Darryl.
Ah, the elusive Velvet Vandal.
If you don't mind, Crunch, I think we'd better tag along.
Ah, sure.
Crunch! Crunch! - What was that? - Hip toss.
I thought it'd look good.
Hey, just stick to the routine, huh? Come on.
Aah! What in the hell was that? Crunch, this is a grudge match.
I should be pulling out all the stops so the crowd really hates me.
For the last time, Darryl, stick to the routine, huh? Hello, Mildred.
- What's the word on our challenger? - Not much.
Real name: Darryl Simmons.
Former professional bodyguard.
Had his own florist shop for a while.
Unmarried.
Lives alone.
- Florist shop? - Mm-hmm.
One.
Watch this, boss.
Two, three.
Here it comes.
Four.
- Oh.
- All right.
That's more like it.
See you tomorrow night.
I do know one thing.
Crunch shouldn't go home tonight for his own safety.
So why don't I, uh, drop him off at his father's? Mm-hmm.
Good idea.
Then I think we should concentrate on how to get the inside story on, uh Dangerous Darryl, mmm? - Hey, Pop.
- Hey, Mike.
What a pleasant surprise.
- And you brought Miss, uh- - Holt.
Yeah, sorry.
So you want to spend another night with the old man, huh? Just like old times, hey, kid? Yeah, I'm gonna get my bags.
So, Miss Holt, you takin' good care of my son? On the professional level.
But on the emotional level, I'm afraid only you can help.
Oh, yeah? How's that? By coming to the match tomorrow night.
No.
Absolutely not.
When he starts wrestling an executive chair like a normal college graduate, then I'll come.
But it's important to Crunch.
He wants you there.
Wrong.
Whitney- That's who he wants there so she can take over his entire life.
Aren't you being a little harsh? Whitney is a talented actress very much in love with your son.
Ah, actress you can have.
And love.
Huh.
That girl is nothing but a gold digger.
You should've heard her and Shelby.
You'd blush.
- Shelby? - Talk about hate.
Whitney was after Mike to dump Shelby.
Why? Well, it seems she wanted Mike to be on her TV show.
When Shelby refused to rearrange Mike's schedule to allow it, she went nuts.
I'll bet.
Having Crunch appear on Rage to Live would certainly boost her ratings.
I wonder how much she thought that was worth.
- Filter Pure man.
- There must be some mistake.
Oh, wow.
It's really you.
Um, Harley Ferguson president of Velvet Vandal Fan Club, uh, Reseda chapter.
Oh, wow.
Oh, I'm sorry for the disguise but I just wanted to tell you how much pleasure you've given our 42 members.
- Forty-two? - Mm-hmm.
Harley, would- Would you like to come in? Oh, wow.
Oh, thank you very much.
Yes.
Oh, look at this.
You know, I never even knew I had a fan club.
Really? You've never seen us up in the balcony in our velvet sweats, huh? No, bless your hearts.
Here.
A lovely '83 fumé blanc from Mendocino County.
Oh.
Oh- Oh, thanks.
Let me just put this down.
Thank you very much.
What about a toast, eh? To the Velvet Vandal.
May he tear that bum Crunch Kramer's guts out tomorrow night and turn them into sausage.
What a beautiful sentiment.
Mmm.
But, hey, I guess you guys are really big buddies outside the ring, huh? Au contraire, Harley.
- Kramer's the bane of my existence.
- Really? - Some Brie? - Oh, thank you.
So the- So that's all- That's for real, everything there? Oh, I'm snarling on the outside, but I'm dying on the inside.
I mean, here Crunch is Mr.
Everything, while I'm the big, bruising bad guy.
Me, Darryl Simmons, who sang in the church choir for 15 years who's never even had a parking ticket.
When I think of all those impressionable kids out there- Ah, what's the use? Major bummer, huh? Do you have any idea what it's like to be hissed and booed every day of your life? Or having some loudmouth biddy jab your derriere with a hatpin wherever you go? Some baba au rhum balls? But you're a star.
I mean, your picture's in all those magazines.
Your-Your velvet bow tie and your briefs are a fashion craze.
If you only knew.
That was his idea.
- Everything was his idea.
- Who? Crunch Kramer.
He owns my contract.
You're joking.
You mean to say- Two years ago in Sausalito an aspiring young wrestler named Darryl Simmons saw his flower shop going under.
He needed cash fast.
Kramer had me by the biceps.
What could I do? I signed my future away to him.
I wish he was dead.
God, I wish he was dead.
What are you doing? That's Waterford Crystal.
I'm sorry.
I thought it was a ritual.
Ah.
- Damn it, Tiffany.
What will it take to convince you? Eileen and I had an affair back then, butJulian is not my child.
I hate it when you lie, Richard.
Almost as much as I am learning to hate you.
- He's telling the truth, Tiffany.
- Gunther.
BecauseJulian is my son.
Stop tape.
Terrific.
That's a buy.
Let's go to the next set.
Good.
Jimmy.
Listen, I am getting very far behind here.
I'm gonna need your help here.
- Okay? Oop.
Excuse me.
- Laura Holt.
A.
F.
I.
intern in television directing.
I'll be observing for two weeks.
Love your work.
Really? I didn't know that they put interns on soaps.
Oh, we don't refer to them as soaps, sir.
We call them "continuing dramas" an extremely important part of our native culture.
- Well, I've always thought so.
- Absolutely.
I have a question.
Ask, my child.
I, uh, understand Whitney Chambers walked off the set yesterday.
How do you, uh, handle something like this? Oh, actors.
We should lock 'em up each night and truck 'em to the set in the morning.
- You'll learn.
- Well, what happened? Whitney told me that her character would never do what was in the script.
I told her there wasn't time to make a change so she promptly marched off and locked herself in the dressing room.
When did she go in there? About 11:00.
Didn't come out till 2:00.
So what did you do? The only thing you can do in a situation like that, honey.
I caved.
I rewrote the scene even read it through the locked door, but she wouldn't answer.
I gave up.
When she finally came out she acted as if nothing had happened.
Ten minutes later, she finds out her boyfriend's had an accident and she splits for the rest of the day.
- Actors.
- Are you sure Whitney was in her dressing room the entire three hours? You're really a nut for detail, aren't you? It's the academic in me, I'm afraid.
No.
No, no.
It's charming.
Keep it in.
To be technical, uh, no, I can't vouch that she was there but where else would she have gone? One can only guess.
Ah, Benito, my friend.
Steele here.
Yes, I'm very well.
And you? Good, good.
Listen, uh, the usual table for two tonight at 8:00.
Yes, something of a celebration.
Okay, my man.
Thank you.
Mille grazie.
Yes.
Bye-bye.
Ah, Laura, great news.
We have our man, dead to rights.
- Who? - Dangerous Darryl, just as I suspected.
What if I told you that the killer is not a him, but a her? A her named Whitney Chambers.
Don't do this to me.
My stomach's preparing for antipasto.
And Shelby was the intended victim all along.
- Linguine and clam sauce.
- Whitney was supposedly in her dressing room - from 11:00 to 2:00.
- A little veal.
- Shelby was killed at 1:00.
- Chianti.
- You think about it.
- Oh, yeah.
Now, Whitney wants Crunch to appear on her show, but Shelby refuses to give in.
Whitney would have been carrying the same parking token found near Shelby's body.
Ah, yes, but it can't be Whitney.
- She loves Crunch too much to jeopardize anything- - Whoa-oa-oa.
Is this the same man who refused this case because everything was pure hype? Ah, hype on the professional level, Laura, not on the personal level, huh? - Nice try.
- Ah, just like you and me, eh? - Oh? How? - A little hype on the professional level, eh? - And on the personal level? - Oh, I don't know.
Mmm.
I knew I should have buzzed.
Our tickets for tonight's championship match.
- I know I'm a relative newcomer to your country, Laura but I thought "The Star-Spangled Banner" was your national anthem? - This is "The Star-Spangled Banner"- - Oh.
- spangled by a star.
- Shh.
And now, introducing the worthy challenger at 250 pounds of marvelous muscle- Dangerous Darryl! Boo.
Sit down, you bum.
Boo! Hi, guy.
All in the line of duty, Laura.
And his challenger and the worthy champion of the All-World Association at 235 pounds- the popular Crunch Kramer! Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! Crunch Crunch! Crunch! Crunch Whoo-hoo! Look who made it after all.
Boo! I see Mrs.
Molinski made bail.
I hope you have a scorecard.
Come on.
Come on! - Come on, Crunch! - Come on! That's my boy.
- Crunch! Crunch! - Crunch! Crunch! Crunch.
! Crunch.
! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! - Boo.
! - Come on.
! Get him.
! Get him.
Crunch.
! Crunch.
! Crunch.
! One! Two.
! Three! Four! Oh! Count! Count! - He's got 20 seconds to get back in.
- One, two - three- - Oh.
Excuse me there, darling.
Up you go.
four, five, six- - Crunch, Crunch, Crunch.
Someone get a doctor, will they? - Oh! - nine, 10.
! - Oh, no.
Go ahead.
Raise my arm.
I'm the new world champion! Raise my arm! Yes! Yes! Yes! - Are you sure? - Positive.
Here you go.
Cut right through with a sharp instrument, wouldn't you say? Dangerous Darryl? All hail the champion.
Hmm.
Quite an upset, eh? Uh, sorry, no autographs, Harley.
If you'll excuse me, the press is waiting.
Anxious to hear how you cut the ropes, are they? I beg your pardon? Remington Steele.
My associate, Laura Holt.
- And I thought you were a fan.
- Neat trick winning the championship despite following the script to perfection.
Out of my way.
Two days ago, when Shelby was murdered exactly where were you, Darryl? Hatpin Millie! Oh.
- Ooh! - Oh.
Wow.
Excellent, Laura.
A championship belt if ever I saw one.
Oh.
Not exactly a shabby day's work.
Putting Darryl behind bars for the "mistaken identity" murder of Arthur Shelby, hmm? - I'm sure Darryl's alibi won't hold up.
- Mmm.
Now on to more urgent matters.
Pleased? Case closed.
You in my arms.
What more can I ask for? Mmm.
I think you just answered my question.
Don't answer it.
- Ah, yes? Mildred.
- Mildred.
- Your phone's out of order.
- For a reason, Mildred.
Turn on the TV.
Maybe they'll do a recap on the late show.
A recap of what? Mildred, couldn't this wait till morning, on company time? I'm telling you, I am so consumed with the Crunch Kramer case that I forgot to eat.
Uh.
Consumed by what, Mildred? The thought that you'd nailed the wrong guy for murder.
- What? - I'm telling you.
When I left the arena, somethin' didn't sit right.
So I went home and I did what you did.
I doubt that very much, Mildred.
I paced, back and forth, reviewing every detail.
Now, we eliminated Crunch's ex-wife because she was with you when Shelby was murdered.
So was Whitney's manager when someone tried to turn out Crunch's lights at Whitney's rehearsal.
But what about Darryl? Hmm? Then it hit me.
Darryl, too, has an airtight alibi.
- He does? - There it was on the TV.
I caught the last bit of Whitney's special tonight after the match.
They showed her coming down on that big moon.
- And it hit me.
- Not hard enough, as far as I'm concerned.
I picked up the phone, and I called the soundstage.
Sure enough, the stage manager told me that the moon is part of Whitney's routine.
Yesterday, when Crunch Kramer came down on it, it was simply a gag.
- Which means- - That the mystery killer assumed Whitney would be sitting there, not Crunch.
Meaning that whoever cut the cable was out to kill Whitney.
Which leaves Dangerous Darryl- without a motive.
- Pretty good, huh? - Mmm.
Oh, absolute magic, Mildred.
You made a perfect evening disappear- like that.
Now, the question is, with Mary Molinski, Todd Myerson and Dangerous Darryl out of the picture, whom does that leave? - Mr.
Steele, would you stop pacing? - Why? It worked for Mildred.
- All right.
Think now.
Think.
- All right.
Who would have it in for both Whitney and Shelby? Of course.
- Busy.
- Keep trying.
Oh, I love you too, Crunch.
See you in a little bit.
Bye.
- Hello? - Whitney, thank goodness we caught you.
This is Laura Holt.
Now, I want you to listen very carefully.
- Lock your door.
- Lock my door? Why? We think the man who killed Shelby is going to come after you.
- Who? - Al Molinski, Crunch's father.
- Mr.
Molinski? - We'll explain later.
The important thing is that you stay put until we get there.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Will do.
Pop.
So good to see you.
Likewise, I'm sure.
I was just on my way to see Crunch.
If you'd like to get the car, we could go together.
I already got it.
Terrific.
Uh, here.
Could you help me out with my coat? They'll know it's you.
Me? Ha! A feeble old man everybody thinks can't even stay awake for Merv Griffin.
And you, a young bimbo all alone here after midnight.
Please! For Crunch's sake! Over there! Hit the lights.
Not on me, Laura! On the stage! Oh.
! - Oh.
! Oh.
! - It's all over, Mr.
Molinski! There you go.
- Are you all right? - I think so.
Thanks.
Al Molinski's psychiatric evaluation just arrived.
He may never go to trial.
The poor guy.
The thought of losing his son to show business was more than he could stand.
To him, Whitney symbolized the entire industry.
Mmm, and he thought Shelby was responsible for Crunch's success.
By killing Shelby, he thought Crunch's career would collapse.
Huh.
I just thought of that old movie.
What old movie? You know, A Bill of- whatchamacallit with-with who's-it and what's his name.
Ah, yes.
A Bill of Divorcement.
Uh, John Barrymore, Katharine Hepburn.
RKO, 1932.
A mentally disturbed father tries to disrupt his daughter's marriage.
Uh, not bad for a beginner, Laura.
I'm learning, Mr.
Steele.
So you are, Miss Holt.
So you are.