Reno 911! (2003) s04e04 Episode Script
Rick's on It
ok, so we're outside the ok, so we're outside the ok, so we're outside the ladies' locker room here, uh, Ladies' locker room here, uh, Ladies' locker room here, uh, and we're gonna do something And we're gonna do something And we're gonna do something that we do every year.
It's the That we do every year.
It's the That we do every year.
It's the deputy panty raid.
And, uh-- Deputy panty raid.
And, uh-- Deputy panty raid.
And, uh-- it's just for fun.
We're gonna-- It's just for fun.
We're gonna-- It's just for fun.
We're gonna-- > it's more for them than for > it's more for them than for > it's more for them than for us.
Us.
Us.
it really is.
These are-- it really is.
These are-- it really is.
These are-- > it boosts up their morale.
> it boosts up their morale.
> it boosts up their morale.
yeah.
These are older ladies.
yeah.
These are older ladies.
yeah.
These are older ladies.
We don't really care what their We don't really care what their We don't really care what their panties look like, but it puts Panties look like, but it puts Panties look like, but it puts a spring in their step-- A spring in their step-- A spring in their step-- it makes them feel better.
it makes them feel better.
it makes them feel better.
> yeah, it does.
So here we go > yeah, it does.
So here we go > yeah, it does.
So here we go with the deputy panty raid.
With the deputy panty raid.
With the deputy panty raid.
Ready? 3, 2, 1-- Ready? 3, 2, 1-- Ready? 3, 2, 1-- all: Panty raid! Panty raid! All: Panty raid! Panty raid! All: Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty raid! Raid! Panty raid! Panty raid! Raid! Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty-- Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty-- Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty-- > wait-- > wait-- > wait-- oh, hey, gang.
oh, hey, gang.
oh, hey, gang.
> oh, god! > oh, god! > oh, god! it's panty raid time again? it's panty raid time again? it's panty raid time again? > fuck.
Oh jesus christ.
> fuck.
Oh jesus christ.
> fuck.
Oh jesus christ.
All: Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! All: Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! All: Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
could someone help me check could someone help me check could someone help me check my bush? My bush? My bush? > no, no! [vomits.]
> no, no! [vomits.]
> no, no! [vomits.]
[vomit splashes.]
[vomit splashes.]
[vomit splashes.]
[groaning, gagging, coughing.]
Man: Come on.
She tricked me! Man: Come on.
She tricked me! Man: Come on.
She tricked me! It was a trick! pow! whoa! [whistle blowing.]
[whistle blowing.]
[whistle blowing.]
all right! all right! all right! I got this side.
get back in the building! get back in the building! get back in the building! No loitering! No loitering! No loitering! Women: Aah! [siren.]
[siren.]
[siren.]
mtv networks.]
ok! Please pay attention ok! Please pay attention ok! Please pay attention To motivational speaker To motivational speaker To motivational speaker mr.
Jeff george.
Mr.
George! Fucking clap, people.
Fucking clap, people.
Fucking clap, people.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
good morning, everyone.
good morning, everyone.
good morning, everyone.
good morning.
good morning.
good morning.
ladies and gentlemen of the ladies and gentlemen of the ladies and gentlemen of the reno sheriff's department Reno sheriff's department Reno sheriff's department You people, as a force, You people, as a force, You people, as a force, as a community, as a group, As a community, as a group, As a community, as a group, have an opportunity.
Have an opportunity.
Have an opportunity.
And that is why I am here today.
And that is why I am here today.
And that is why I am here today.
That is why lieutenant jimmy That is why lieutenant jimmy That is why lieutenant jimmy dangle asked me to speak to you.
Dangle asked me to speak to you.
Dangle asked me to speak to you.
Let's look at the facts.
Currently, we are at code fault Currently, we are at code fault Currently, we are at code fault on the daughter board, and the On the daughter board, and the On the daughter board, and the daisy wheel is just about to Daisy wheel is just about to Daisy wheel is just about to crash, and all you people do Crash, and all you people do Crash, and all you people do is sit around and gritch.
Is sit around and gritch.
Is sit around and gritch.
I ask you, does the belt not go I ask you, does the belt not go I ask you, does the belt not go through all the loops? You all Through all the loops? You all Through all the loops? You all see yourselves as brilliant See yourselves as brilliant See yourselves as brilliant little pebbles, just waiting for Little pebbles, just waiting for Little pebbles, just waiting for your code word.
Your code word.
Your code word.
Well, what if your code word Well, what if your code word Well, what if your code word doesn't come, huh? Uh-huh! Doesn't come, huh? Uh-huh! Doesn't come, huh? Uh-huh! Are you gonna sit around in your Are you gonna sit around in your Are you gonna sit around in your cruiser and wind up as ejected Cruiser and wind up as ejected Cruiser and wind up as ejected from somebody's crazy physics From somebody's crazy physics From somebody's crazy physics package? Package? Package? P.
A.
: Watch commander to the P.
A.
: Watch commander to the P.
A.
: Watch commander to the bridge.
Bridge.
Bridge.
one simple question.
one simple question.
one simple question.
Who the hell hit the chicken Who the hell hit the chicken Who the hell hit the chicken switch?! Huh?! Who the hell hit Switch?! Huh?! Who the hell hit Switch?! Huh?! Who the hell hit the chicken switch? Garcia, you The chicken switch? Garcia, you The chicken switch? Garcia, you haven't been pounding the bricks Haven't been pounding the bricks Haven't been pounding the bricks here in reno to buy johnson a Here in reno to buy johnson a Here in reno to buy johnson a suit or jones a dress, have you? Suit or jones a dress, have you? Suit or jones a dress, have you? no, sir.
no, sir.
no, sir.
I did not think so.
Because I did not think so.
Because I did not think so.
Because you are not anybody's meat You are not anybody's meat You are not anybody's meat puppet.
Say that with me.
Puppet.
Say that with me.
Puppet.
Say that with me.
All: I am not anybody's meat All: I am not anybody's meat All: I am not anybody's meat puppet! I am not anybody's meat Puppet! I am not anybody's meat Puppet! I am not anybody's meat puppet! Puppet! Puppet! officers, hands in.
Hands officers, hands in.
Hands officers, hands in.
Hands into the center there.
On 3 Into the center there.
On 3 Into the center there.
On 3 "reno! Reno! Reno!" "reno! Reno! Reno!" "reno! Reno! Reno!" all: Reno! Reno! Reno! thank you.
I have no fucking idea what I have no fucking idea what I have no fucking idea what it is we're supposed to do.
It is we're supposed to do.
It is we're supposed to do.
are we in trouble? I'm not are we in trouble? I'm not are we in trouble? I'm not a meat puppet or a bean.
A meat puppet or a bean.
A meat puppet or a bean.
I don't know.
I got him off I don't know.
I got him off I don't know.
I got him off the internet.
The whole The internet.
The whole The internet.
The whole motivational speech was only Motivational speech was only Motivational speech was only $15.
$15.
$15.
oh, well oh, well oh, well $15? $15? $15? yeah.
Yeah.
Trudy: Sheriff's department! Trudy: Sheriff's department! Trudy: Sheriff's department! Dangle: What do we got? Dangle: What do we got? Dangle: What do we got? in the back.
In the back.
in the back.
In the back.
in the back.
In the back.
Welcome to our homicide.
Welcome to our homicide.
Welcome to our homicide.
in the back? in the back? in the back? in the back.
You're not gonna in the back.
You're not gonna in the back.
You're not gonna like what you see.
Like what you see.
Like what you see.
Brace yourself.
Brace yourself.
Brace yourself.
ohh! ohh! ohh! oh, dear.
oh, dear.
oh, dear.
Dangle: Oh, boy.
Dangle: Oh, boy.
Dangle: Oh, boy.
Trudy: Oh, dear.
Trudy: Oh, dear.
Trudy: Oh, dear.
did you get a shot of this? did you get a shot of this? did you get a shot of this? yeah.
I could use another yeah.
I could use another yeah.
I could use another one, though.
They keep coming One, though.
They keep coming One, though.
They keep coming out all black.
Out all black.
Out all black.
get another clear shot of get another clear shot of get another clear shot of that.
Good god, right in That.
Good god, right in That.
Good god, right in the spine.
The spine.
The spine.
you know what I think it is, you know what I think it is, you know what I think it is, jim? I think somebody got Jim? I think somebody got Jim? I think somebody got stabbed in the back.
That's what Stabbed in the back.
That's what Stabbed in the back.
That's what I think.
I don't want to jump to I think.
I don't want to jump to I think.
I don't want to jump to conclusions, but Conclusions, but Conclusions, but thanks, trudy.
thanks, trudy.
thanks, trudy.
Oh, great.
Rick.
Oh, great.
Rick.
Oh, great.
Rick.
[door beeps.]
[door beeps.]
[door beeps.]
hi, rick.
hi, rick.
hi, rick.
we don't need you, rick.
we don't need you, rick.
we don't need you, rick.
We're all over it.
We don't need We're all over it.
We don't need We're all over it.
We don't need the citizen's patrol.
The citizen's patrol.
The citizen's patrol.
I tell you, I don't take kindly I tell you, I don't take kindly I tell you, I don't take kindly to citizens taking it upon To citizens taking it upon To citizens taking it upon themselves to enforce the law.
Themselves to enforce the law.
Themselves to enforce the law.
neighborhood watch--all them neighborhood watch--all them neighborhood watch--all them fellas.
Fellas.
Fellas.
citizen's patrol.
citizen's patrol.
citizen's patrol.
Horse apples.
Horse apples.
Horse apples.
if it was easy to be good at if it was easy to be good at if it was easy to be good at law enforcement, wouldn't we be? Law enforcement, wouldn't we be? Law enforcement, wouldn't we be? think about it.
think about it.
think about it.
think about that.
think about that.
think about that.
>>think about it.
>>think about it.
>>think about it.
put that in your little put that in your little put that in your little beret.
Beret.
Beret.
so you can take your beret so you can take your beret so you can take your beret and your cape and go back to And your cape and go back to And your cape and go back to your mom's, ok? Your mom's, ok? Your mom's, ok? [whispering.]
hi.
[whispering.]
hi.
[whispering.]
hi.
oh, you missed what I said.
oh, you missed what I said.
oh, you missed what I said.
Come here, help us out.
[sighs.]
Come here, help us out.
[sighs.]
Come here, help us out.
[sighs.]
lookie.
Lookie.
Lookie.
missing cash register.
missing cash register.
missing cash register.
aah! Son of a bitch! aah! Son of a bitch! aah! Son of a bitch! Cash register's missing.
Cash register's missing.
Cash register's missing.
Kimball, photo! Kimball, photo! Kimball, photo! I'm on it.
I'm on it.
I'm on it.
right here.
There's blood right here.
There's blood right here.
There's blood around-- Around-- Around-- nineties, out of new york.
nineties, out of new york.
nineties, out of new york.
Steel national cash register.
Steel national cash register.
Steel national cash register.
do you want a lozenge or do you want a lozenge or do you want a lozenge or something? Are you ok? Something? Are you ok? Something? Are you ok? no, it's just another no, it's just another no, it's just another flare-up.
I've got some throat Flare-up.
I've got some throat Flare-up.
I've got some throat cold.
Cold.
Cold.
if you stop talking like that if you stop talking like that if you stop talking like that your voice will feel better.
Your voice will feel better.
Your voice will feel better.
if you don't want it now, if you don't want it now, if you don't want it now, save it for later.
Save it for later.
Save it for later.
I appreciate it, but I'm I appreciate it, but I'm I appreciate it, but I'm gonna go.
Gonna go.
Gonna go.
I wish you'd take it.
I wish you'd take it.
I wish you'd take it.
thank you very much.
thank you very much.
thank you very much.
you'll take it, but you're you'll take it, but you're you'll take it, but you're not gonna use it.
Not gonna use it.
Not gonna use it.
your wish has come true, your wish has come true, your wish has come true, I'm taking it.
I'm taking it.
I'm taking it.
This is a blond hair.
This is a blond hair.
This is a blond hair.
blond hair! blond hair! blond hair! blond hair! blond hair! blond hair! blond hair, everybody.
blond hair, everybody.
blond hair, everybody.
you guys missed everything.
you guys missed everything.
you guys missed everything.
that's a wig hair.
that's a wig hair.
that's a wig hair.
it's a wig hair.
That's it's a wig hair.
That's it's a wig hair.
That's a label.
What have we got? A label.
What have we got? A label.
What have we got? What have we got? What have we got? What have we got? it's all written in thai.
it's all written in thai.
it's all written in thai.
right.
Right.
right.
Right.
right.
Right.
ha ha ha ha ha ha! ha ha ha ha ha ha! ha ha ha ha ha ha! is it important? Does it is it important? Does it is it important? Does it say something? Say something? Say something? no, it's just something no, it's just something no, it's just something funny.
Funny.
Funny.
here's the deal.
here's the deal.
here's the deal.
Here's the deal.
We don't need Here's the deal.
We don't need Here's the deal.
We don't need your help.
Your help.
Your help.
I understand.
I understand.
I understand.
we don't need it.
We would we don't need it.
We would we don't need it.
We would figure--everything you tell us, Figure--everything you tell us, Figure--everything you tell us, all the help you give us, we All the help you give us, we All the help you give us, we will eventually figure out.
Ok? Will eventually figure out.
Ok? Will eventually figure out.
Ok? What? What was I looking at? What? What was I looking at? What? What was I looking at? What are you looking at? What are you looking at? What are you looking at? what do you see? what do you see? what do you see? what do you see? what do you see? what do you see? nothing.
No, I thought nothing.
No, I thought nothing.
No, I thought I saw something, but I didn't.
I saw something, but I didn't.
I saw something, but I didn't.
no, you saw something.
no, you saw something.
no, you saw something.
no, I didn't.
I got to run.
no, I didn't.
I got to run.
no, I didn't.
I got to run.
You ought to consider calling You ought to consider calling You ought to consider calling a paramedic.
He's still alive.
A paramedic.
He's still alive.
A paramedic.
He's still alive.
oh, my god! He's still alive, oh, my god! He's still alive, oh, my god! He's still alive, people! People! People! People! People! People! how did we miss that? how did we miss that? how did we miss that? he's not ok.
he's not ok.
he's not ok.
you want some water, sir? you want some water, sir? you want some water, sir? Do you want some water? Do you want some water? Do you want some water? he's obviously unconscious.
he's obviously unconscious.
he's obviously unconscious.
oh, shit.
I wish rick was oh, shit.
I wish rick was oh, shit.
I wish rick was still here.
what took you guys so long? what took you guys so long? what took you guys so long? Hurry up.
Hurry up.
Hurry up.
what's the problem, sir? what's the problem, sir? what's the problem, sir? the problem is, man, the problem is, man, the problem is, man, I'm a hip-hop producer.
Someone I'm a hip-hop producer.
Someone I'm a hip-hop producer.
Someone stole all my tapes last night-- Stole all my tapes last night-- Stole all my tapes last night-- my original tapes.
Man, I laid My original tapes.
Man, I laid My original tapes.
Man, I laid down some fresh tracks, somebody Down some fresh tracks, somebody Down some fresh tracks, somebody stole it last night in the Stole it last night in the Stole it last night in the middle of the night.
Middle of the night.
Middle of the night.
did you see the person? did you see the person? did you see the person? no, it was night.
How am I no, it was night.
How am I no, it was night.
How am I gonna see him, man? Yeah, man, I Gonna see him, man? Yeah, man, I Gonna see him, man? Yeah, man, I got really high last night and Got really high last night and Got really high last night and passed out and someone got into Passed out and someone got into Passed out and someone got into my place-- My place-- My place-- all right, back up just a-- all right, back up just a-- all right, back up just a-- back up just a second.
Back up just a second.
Back up just a second.
yeah? yeah? yeah? "I got really high last "I got really high last "I got really high last night.
" Night.
" Night.
" that's right.
Well, I get that's right.
Well, I get that's right.
Well, I get really high every night, but Really high every night, but Really high every night, but realhigh last night Realhigh last night Realhigh last night 'cause I ate a lot of it, too, 'cause I ate a lot of it, too, 'cause I ate a lot of it, too, accidentally.
Man, I made a list Accidentally.
Man, I made a list Accidentally.
Man, I made a list of all the songs.
Of all the songs.
Of all the songs.
well, I'd love to hear "cops well, I'd love to hear "cops well, I'd love to hear "cops will never catch me.
" look at Will never catch me.
" look at Will never catch me.
" look at this.
"fuck the pigs.
" This.
"fuck the pigs.
" This.
"fuck the pigs.
" yeah.
yeah.
yeah.
"fuck the fuzz.
" I bet "fuck the fuzz.
" I bet "fuck the fuzz.
" I bet you'd like that a lot, wouldn't You'd like that a lot, wouldn't You'd like that a lot, wouldn't you? You? You? there's some good stuff on there's some good stuff on there's some good stuff on there.
There.
There.
sir, you didn't realize-- sir, you didn't realize-- sir, you didn't realize-- aah! Aaaaah! You're gonna end aah! Aaaaah! You're gonna end aah! Aaaaah! You're gonna end up being a lyric in one of my Up being a lyric in one of my Up being a lyric in one of my new songs! New songs! New songs! all right! all right! all right! fuck kimball! fuck kimball! fuck kimball! Friday night, and I'm broke Friday night, and I'm broke Friday night, and I'm broke again.
Boy, I really need to Again.
Boy, I really need to Again.
Boy, I really need to turn my life around.
Turn my life around.
Turn my life around.
is your life going nowhere is your life going nowhere is your life going nowhere fast? Why not enroll now in Fast? Why not enroll now in Fast? Why not enroll now in The reno sheriff's department The reno sheriff's department The reno sheriff's department needs you.
Needs you.
Needs you.
what if I told you I had what if I told you I had what if I told you I had a criminal record? A criminal record? A criminal record? how many times do I got to how many times do I got to how many times do I got to say it? The reno sheriff's Say it? The reno sheriff's Say it? The reno sheriff's department needs you.
Anyone can Department needs you.
Anyone can Department needs you.
Anyone can apply.
Even if you've been Apply.
Even if you've been Apply.
Even if you've been convicted of Anything up to and including Anything up to and including Anything up to and including you have the right to remain you have the right to remain you have the right to remain silent, because I'm already Silent, because I'm already Silent, because I'm already convinced.
Convinced.
Convinced.
so if you're tired of sitting so if you're tired of sitting so if you're tired of sitting in the back of the squad car In the back of the squad car In the back of the squad car and ready to try out And ready to try out And ready to try out the driver's seat The driver's seat The driver's seat [siren.]
[siren.]
[siren.]
[siren.]
so you gonna help me out with so you gonna help me out with so you gonna help me out with that loan? That loan? That loan? no.
I loaned you last month.
no.
I loaned you last month.
no.
I loaned you last month.
I know, but I'm a little I know, but I'm a little I know, but I'm a little short.
Short.
Short.
P.
A.
: Deputy garcia, P.
A.
: Deputy garcia, P.
A.
: Deputy garcia, jackie martino is here to see Jackie martino is here to see Jackie martino is here to see you.
Deputy garcia, jackie You.
Deputy garcia, jackie You.
Deputy garcia, jackie martino's at the front desk.
can I help you? can I help you? can I help you? hi.
hi.
hi.
hello.
hello.
hello.
do you remember me? do you remember me? do you remember me? uh uh uh I'm jackie, the hooker from I'm jackie, the hooker from I'm jackie, the hooker from fourth street.
Fourth street.
Fourth street.
ohh! Hey! ohh! Hey! ohh! Hey! yeah, hi! yeah, hi! yeah, hi! how are you? Look at you.
how are you? Look at you.
how are you? Look at you.
it's so nice to see you.
it's so nice to see you.
it's so nice to see you.
it's nice to see you, too.
it's nice to see you, too.
it's nice to see you, too.
thank you for everything you thank you for everything you thank you for everything you did for me, because all the help Did for me, because all the help Did for me, because all the help that you gave me by stopping by That you gave me by stopping by That you gave me by stopping by and showing me that you cared, And showing me that you cared, And showing me that you cared, really turned my life around.
Really turned my life around.
Really turned my life around.
I'm not a hooker anymore.
I'm not a hooker anymore.
I'm not a hooker anymore.
that's good.
that's good.
that's good.
all of my scabs have pretty all of my scabs have pretty all of my scabs have pretty much cleared up.
And I'm Much cleared up.
And I'm Much cleared up.
And I'm a telemarketer now.
So I just A telemarketer now.
So I just A telemarketer now.
So I just wanted to say thanks for being Wanted to say thanks for being Wanted to say thanks for being so great.
So great.
So great.
you're welcome.
Well, I tell you're welcome.
Well, I tell you're welcome.
Well, I tell you, it makes me feel good, You, it makes me feel good, You, it makes me feel good, tickles the heart strings, to Tickles the heart strings, to Tickles the heart strings, to know that things that we do Know that things that we do Know that things that we do actually matter in people's Actually matter in people's Actually matter in people's lives and--aah! Lives and--aah! Lives and--aah! gotcha! Ha ha ha ha! gotcha! Ha ha ha ha! gotcha! Ha ha ha ha! [shouting incoherently.]
[shouting incoherently.]
[shouting incoherently.]
ha ha ha ha ha ha! ha ha ha ha ha ha! ha ha ha ha ha ha! ohh! Ow! Man! She threw hot ohh! Ow! Man! She threw hot ohh! Ow! Man! She threw hot coffee in my face! Coffee in my face! Coffee in my face! where'd she go? where'd she go? where'd she go? go on get a rag, call go on get a rag, call go on get a rag, call somebody.
Somebody.
Somebody.
where'd the phone go? where'd the phone go? where'd the phone go? I don't know! Use your own I don't know! Use your own I don't know! Use your own damn radio! Son of a bitch! Damn radio! Son of a bitch! Damn radio! Son of a bitch! [siren.]
[siren.]
[siren.]
morning.
Whoa! morning.
Whoa! morning.
Whoa! Garcia: We got something.
Garcia: We got something.
Garcia: We got something.
We don't know what.
We don't know what.
We don't know what.
Jones: Somebody did something to Jones: Somebody did something to Jones: Somebody did something to someone.
I don't know.
Someone.
I don't know.
Someone.
I don't know.
blood all over.
blood all over.
blood all over.
yeah, there's blood yeah, there's blood yeah, there's blood everywhere.
Everywhere.
Everywhere.
marked it off.
marked it off.
marked it off.
any witnesses? any witnesses? any witnesses? nobody here.
Hey, hello! nobody here.
Hey, hello! nobody here.
Hey, hello! should I taste it and be sure should I taste it and be sure should I taste it and be sure it's blood? It's blood? It's blood? no, it's blood.
no, it's blood.
no, it's blood.
uh-oh.
Jim, jim, jim, jim.
uh-oh.
Jim, jim, jim, jim.
uh-oh.
Jim, jim, jim, jim.
[whispering.]
go around here.
[whispering.]
go around here.
[whispering.]
go around here.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
hey, rick! hey, rick! hey, rick! what? Rick! what? Rick! what? Rick! [whistles.]
[whistles.]
[whistles.]
how are you, dingle? how are you, dingle? how are you, dingle? dangle! And it's lieutenant.
dangle! And it's lieutenant.
dangle! And it's lieutenant.
excuse me.
excuse me.
excuse me.
thank you.
thank you.
thank you.
deputy.
deputy.
deputy.
and we've got everything and we've got everything and we've got everything under control.
We do not need Under control.
We do not need Under control.
We do not need the help of the citizen's The help of the citizen's The help of the citizen's patrol.
Thank you very much.
Patrol.
Thank you very much.
Patrol.
Thank you very much.
We got this one.
We got this one.
We got this one.
all right, well all right, well all right, well this is a crime scene, rick.
this is a crime scene, rick.
this is a crime scene, rick.
hey, there's a gum wrapper.
hey, there's a gum wrapper.
hey, there's a gum wrapper.
What? Oh, my god! What? Oh, my god! What? Oh, my god! Trudy: Aah! Trudy: Aah! Trudy: Aah! oh, shit.
Oh, my god! oh, shit.
Oh, my god! oh, shit.
Oh, my god! you guys! you guys! you guys! way to go, guys.
way to go, guys.
way to go, guys.
did you see this? did you see this? did you see this? Jones: What happened? Jones: What happened? Jones: What happened? Trudy: There's a body.
Trudy: There's a body.
Trudy: There's a body.
ohh! ohh! ohh! I don't need your help.
I don't need your help.
I don't need your help.
I don't want your help.
I don't want your help.
I don't want your help.
I don't need your help, and I I don't need your help, and I I don't need your help, and I don't want your help, rick.
Don't want your help, rick.
Don't want your help, rick.
cash register's missing.
cash register's missing.
cash register's missing.
cash register's missing.
cash register's missing.
cash register's missing.
fudge! Yeah, it'd be right fudge! Yeah, it'd be right fudge! Yeah, it'd be right here next to the thing.
Here next to the thing.
Here next to the thing.
yeah, right.
yeah, right.
yeah, right.
thank you very much.
thank you very much.
thank you very much.
All you're doing-- All you're doing-- All you're doing-- it was manufactured between it was manufactured between it was manufactured between '65 and '75 out of chicago.
'65 and '75 out of chicago.
'65 and '75 out of chicago.
don't talk to joe.
don't talk to joe.
don't talk to joe.
Don't talk to joe.
Don't talk to joe.
Don't talk to joe.
Don't tell things to joe.
Don't tell things to joe.
Don't tell things to joe.
I do that.
I do that.
I do that.
oh, I didn't know.
oh, I didn't know.
oh, I didn't know.
that's my bit.
that's my bit.
that's my bit.
sorry, I didn't know.
sorry, I didn't know.
sorry, I didn't know.
no, I'm the lieutenant.
no, I'm the lieutenant.
no, I'm the lieutenant.
This is my crime scene.
This is my crime scene.
This is my crime scene.
I'm not mad.
Ok, thank you for I'm not mad.
Ok, thank you for I'm not mad.
Ok, thank you for your help.
Your help.
Your help.
all right.
We might want to all right.
We might want to all right.
We might want to look into this, though.
This was Look into this, though.
This was Look into this, though.
This was in the victim's hand.
It's a In the victim's hand.
It's a In the victim's hand.
It's a receipt for a to-go order.
Receipt for a to-go order.
Receipt for a to-go order.
"fenab pulciri.
" "fenab pulciri.
" "fenab pulciri.
" trudy: Oh, my god.
Trudy: Oh, my god.
Trudy: Oh, my god.
oh, my god.
oh, my god.
oh, my god.
that could be the guy who did that could be the guy who did that could be the guy who did the crime.
The crime.
The crime.
well, yeah.
Came in, ordered well, yeah.
Came in, ordered well, yeah.
Came in, ordered take-out, forgot that he left Take-out, forgot that he left Take-out, forgot that he left the receiptUnh!And then The receiptUnh!And then The receiptUnh!And then uhh! And the cash register, Uhh! And the cash register, Uhh! And the cash register, and son of a bitch! Out the And son of a bitch! Out the And son of a bitch! Out the door.
Door.
Door.
Rick: Bingo, bingo.
Rick: Bingo, bingo.
Rick: Bingo, bingo.
ok, we really don't need your ok, we really don't need your ok, we really don't need your help anymore.
Help anymore.
Help anymore.
I'm gonna go down to the thai I'm gonna go down to the thai I'm gonna go down to the thai market down the street, Market down the street, Market down the street, see if I can find the guy.
See if I can find the guy.
See if I can find the guy.
son of a bitch, no.
son of a bitch, no.
son of a bitch, no.
let's see who gets there let's see who gets there let's see who gets there first.
First.
First.
no, no, no, no, no.
no, no, no, no, no.
no, no, no, no, no.
Son of a bitch.
No, no.
Son of a bitch.
No, no.
Son of a bitch.
No, no.
see you at the thai market.
see you at the thai market.
see you at the thai market.
son of a bitch.
Don't let son of a bitch.
Don't let son of a bitch.
Don't let rick solve this first, Rick solve this first, Rick solve this first, is my general directive.
Is my general directive.
Is my general directive.
Let's us solve it.
Let's us solve it.
Let's us solve it.
Ok? I don't want the citizen's Ok? I don't want the citizen's Ok? I don't want the citizen's patrol to solve another crime.
Patrol to solve another crime.
Patrol to solve another crime.
ok.
ok.
ok.
'cause it makes us look like 'cause it makes us look like 'cause it makes us look like douchebags.
Douchebags.
Douchebags.
see that? Read that? see that? Read that? see that? Read that? Can you read that? Can you read that? Can you read that? That's what I fucking do.
That's what I fucking do.
That's what I fucking do.
got a message to all you got a message to all you got a message to all you vigilante wannabes out there, Vigilante wannabes out there, Vigilante wannabes out there, we don't need your fucking help.
We don't need your fucking help.
We don't need your fucking help.
Stay indoors, watch your wheel Stay indoors, watch your wheel Stay indoors, watch your wheel of fortune, bring your mom Of fortune, bring your mom Of fortune, bring your mom dinner, go to sleep.
Dinner, go to sleep.
Dinner, go to sleep.
we have patches.
[bell ringing.]
[bell ringing.]
[bell ringing.]
just a little reminder about just a little reminder about just a little reminder about the water shortage here in reno, The water shortage here in reno, The water shortage here in reno, ok? You know, this is a perfect Ok? You know, this is a perfect Ok? You know, this is a perfect opportunity to just tell you Opportunity to just tell you Opportunity to just tell you if you don't need to shower, If you don't need to shower, If you don't need to shower, don't, ok? My mom introduced me Don't, ok? My mom introduced me Don't, ok? My mom introduced me to something called a p.
T.
A.
, To something called a p.
T.
A.
, To something called a p.
T.
A.
, and afterwards I'll tell you And afterwards I'll tell you And afterwards I'll tell you what that means in private.
What that means in private.
What that means in private.
Garcia: Stink a little, Garcia: Stink a little, Garcia: Stink a little, save a river.
Thank you, Save a river.
Thank you, Save a river.
Thank you, principal linkerville.
Principal linkerville.
Principal linkerville.
Hey, kids--children.
Deputy Hey, kids--children.
Deputy Hey, kids--children.
Deputy jones and I--I'm deputy james Jones and I--I'm deputy james Jones and I--I'm deputy james garcia--would like to talk to Garcia--would like to talk to Garcia--would like to talk to you kids about self defense, ok? You kids about self defense, ok? You kids about self defense, ok? Not only here in school, but Not only here in school, but Not only here in school, but what might happen after school What might happen after school What might happen after school in your surrounding In your surrounding In your surrounding neighborhoods.
Let's say for Neighborhoods.
Let's say for Neighborhoods.
Let's say for example you children got a good Example you children got a good Example you children got a good report card.
Somebody got a "c+" Report card.
Somebody got a "c+" Report card.
Somebody got a "c+" or a "b-", they're all excited Or a "b-", they're all excited Or a "b-", they're all excited to run home and tell mom and To run home and tell mom and To run home and tell mom and dad, and you're running down Dad, and you're running down Dad, and you're running down the sidewalk, and then all of The sidewalk, and then all of The sidewalk, and then all of a sudden, pow, you run into A sudden, pow, you run into A sudden, pow, you run into a large black man on pcp.
Wow, A large black man on pcp.
Wow, A large black man on pcp.
Wow, that's scary, isn't it? I'd be That's scary, isn't it? I'd be That's scary, isn't it? I'd be scared.
You should be, too.
Scared.
You should be, too.
Scared.
You should be, too.
Ok? Now, all of a sudden-- Ok? Now, all of a sudden-- Ok? Now, all of a sudden-- what are you talking-- what are you talking-- what are you talking-- why large black man on pcp? Why large black man on pcp? Why large black man on pcp? Why? Just a man on pcp.
Why? Just a man on pcp.
Why? Just a man on pcp.
well, the large black man on well, the large black man on well, the large black man on pcp is what you usually see on Pcp is what you usually see on Pcp is what you usually see on television, right, kids? So, now Television, right, kids? So, now Television, right, kids? So, now normally your tendency would be Normally your tendency would be Normally your tendency would be is to run and flee from the Is to run and flee from the Is to run and flee from the large black man on pcp, Large black man on pcp, Large black man on pcp, but what you want to try to do But what you want to try to do But what you want to try to do is go through him, ok? 'cause Is go through him, ok? 'cause Is go through him, ok? 'cause it's in their nature to be It's in their nature to be It's in their nature to be violent already, but you add Violent already, but you add Violent already, but you add the pcp, and boy, they're gonna The pcp, and boy, they're gonna The pcp, and boy, they're gonna go through the roof.
Ok? That's Go through the roof.
Ok? That's Go through the roof.
Ok? That's just something you don't want to Just something you don't want to Just something you don't want to do.
So, you got your choices Do.
So, you got your choices Do.
So, you got your choices again.
You can either through Again.
You can either through Again.
You can either through him or you can turn to flee.
Him or you can turn to flee.
Him or you can turn to flee.
yeah.
I will fuck you up.
yeah.
I will fuck you up.
yeah.
I will fuck you up.
Get the fuck back.
Get the fuck back.
Get the fuck back.
[siren.]
[siren.]
[siren.]
[siren.]
dangle: [whistles.]
big t, Dangle: [whistles.]
big t, Dangle: [whistles.]
big t, terry bear.
Terry bear.
Terry bear.
hey, guys.
What's up? hey, guys.
What's up? hey, guys.
What's up? ââ¢Âª what's up, ââ¢Âª what's up, ââ¢Âª what's up, police? Police? Police? What's up? ââ¢Âª What's up? ââ¢Âª What's up? ââ¢Âª bo-beee-whoo! Bo-beee-whoo! Bo-beee-whoo! What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? how's life on the outside how's life on the outside how's life on the outside treating you, terry? Treating you, terry? Treating you, terry? on the outside of on the outside of on the outside of the restaurant? The restaurant? The restaurant? outside of the stir.
outside of the stir.
outside of the stir.
Free from the pen.
Free from the pen.
Free from the pen.
Feels good to be out? Feels good to be out? Feels good to be out? >it's good.
I love it.
I love it >it's good.
I love it.
I love it >it's good.
I love it.
I love it tastes good, doesn't it? tastes good, doesn't it? tastes good, doesn't it? Freedom tastes good.
Freedom tastes good.
Freedom tastes good.
it does taste good.
I like it does taste good.
I like it does taste good.
I like freedom.
Freedom.
Freedom.
you know what else tastes you know what else tastes you know what else tastes good, terry? Good, terry? Good, terry? what? what? what? tacos.
tacos.
tacos.
yeah, tacos are good.
yeah, tacos are good.
yeah, tacos are good.
Tacos and freedom.
Tacos and freedom.
Tacos and freedom.
I want a freedom taco.
I want a freedom taco.
I want a freedom taco.
drop the "dom".
drop the "dom".
drop the "dom".
Keep the "free.
" Keep the "free.
" Keep the "free.
" keep the "tacos.
" Keep the "tacos.
" do we understand each other? Do we understand each other? Do we understand each other? free-cos? free-cos? free-cos? no, you dropped too much.
no, you dropped too much.
no, you dropped too much.
Don't drop "ta.
" Don't drop "ta.
" Don't drop "ta.
" drop the d-o-m.
drop the d-o-m.
drop the d-o-m.
keep "ta.
" keep "ta.
" keep "ta.
" keep "ta.
" keep "ta.
" keep "ta.
" keep all of "tacos", keep all of "tacos", keep all of "tacos", keep "free", drop the-- Keep "free", drop the-- Keep "free", drop the-- we're talking about--terry We're talking about--terry We're talking about--terry we just feel as servants we just feel as servants we just feel as servants and protectors of the peace, And protectors of the peace, And protectors of the peace, we deserve a free taco every We deserve a free taco every We deserve a free taco every now and then.
Now and then.
Now and then.
and every now and then is and every now and then is and every now and then is every time we come.
Every time we come.
Every time we come.
yeah.
No.
I want a free taco, yeah.
No.
I want a free taco, yeah.
No.
I want a free taco, too.
I wish they were free.
Too.
I wish they were free.
Too.
I wish they were free.
That would be sweet.
That would be sweet.
That would be sweet.
terry, you fucking work here.
terry, you fucking work here.
terry, you fucking work here.
> fuck ! > fuck ! > fuck ! we have to fucking-- we have to fucking-- we have to fucking-- we have to answer 911 calls We have to answer 911 calls We have to answer 911 calls in this neighborhood and we'd In this neighborhood and we'd In this neighborhood and we'd like some free tacos.
Like some free tacos.
Like some free tacos.
we're asking for like $3.
00 we're asking for like $3.
00 we're asking for like $3.
00 worth of free shit.
Worth of free shit.
Worth of free shit.
Forget it.
Forget it.
Forget it.
Hey, next time you call 911, Hey, next time you call 911, Hey, next time you call 911, be real patient.
Be real patient.
Be real patient.
Be real patient.
Be real patient.
Be real patient.
[terry gasps.]
[terry gasps.]
[terry gasps.]
here's you.
here's you.
here's you.
that's the exact same thing that's the exact same thing that's the exact same thing he just did.
You didn't up the He just did.
You didn't up the He just did.
You didn't up the bar, you just did what he did.
Bar, you just did what he did.
Bar, you just did what he did.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
let's try the fucking donut let's try the fucking donut let's try the fucking donut place.
Oh, he just threw a taco Place.
Oh, he just threw a taco Place.
Oh, he just threw a taco at me.
At me.
At me.
what'd he do? what'd he do? what'd he do? he just threw a fucking taco he just threw a fucking taco he just threw a fucking taco at me! Freeze, motherfucker! [police radio squawking.]
[police radio squawking.]
[police radio squawking.]
sheriff's department! sheriff's department! sheriff's department! ho.
How you doing? ho.
How you doing? ho.
How you doing? it's about time.
it's about time.
it's about time.
how you doing, carmen.
how you doing, carmen.
how you doing, carmen.
What's--what's going on tonight? What's--what's going on tonight? What's--what's going on tonight? him.
Get him out.
him.
Get him out.
him.
Get him out.
they do not have what I need.
they do not have what I need.
they do not have what I need.
he's scaring away all my he's scaring away all my he's scaring away all my customers.
I have girls out here Customers.
I have girls out here Customers.
I have girls out here that need to be in there.
That need to be in there.
That need to be in there.
they do not have what I need! they do not have what I need! they do not have what I need! Jones: Ok, these girls don't Jones: Ok, these girls don't Jones: Ok, these girls don't have what you need? Have what you need? Have what you need? they don't have what I need! they don't have what I need! they don't have what I need! I doubt that very much, sir.
I doubt that very much, sir.
I doubt that very much, sir.
They're very good.
They're very good.
They're very good.
well, what are you asking well, what are you asking well, what are you asking for, sir? For, sir? For, sir? what is it that you want? what is it that you want? what is it that you want? they don't have it! they don't have it! they don't have it! ok, they don't have it.
ok, they don't have it.
ok, they don't have it.
they don't have what, sir? they don't have what, sir? they don't have what, sir? the operative word is "it".
the operative word is "it".
the operative word is "it".
What is "it", sir? What is "it", sir? What is "it", sir? hey, guys, sorry I'm late.
hey, guys, sorry I'm late.
hey, guys, sorry I'm late.
I was taking a nap in the back I was taking a nap in the back I was taking a nap in the back of the squad car, I didn't know Of the squad car, I didn't know Of the squad car, I didn't know we wereWhat's going on? [siren.]
[siren.]
[siren.]
[siren.]
dangle: We found it.
Dangle: We found it.
Dangle: We found it.
Travis: Yeah, come on in, door's Travis: Yeah, come on in, door's Travis: Yeah, come on in, door's unlocked.
Unlocked.
Unlocked.
what do we got? what do we got? what do we got? what do we got? Ho! what do we got? Ho! what do we got? Ho! yeah, stolen merchandise, yeah, stolen merchandise, yeah, stolen merchandise, stolen radios, stolen tvs.
Stolen radios, stolen tvs.
Stolen radios, stolen tvs.
the knives! The very same the knives! The very same the knives! The very same knives.
Check it out.
Knives.
Check it out.
Knives.
Check it out.
5 knives missing.
5 knives missing.
5 knives missing.
you guys.
you guys.
you guys.
Dangle: Oh, my god, hello! Dangle: Oh, my god, hello! Dangle: Oh, my god, hello! Hello! Cash register.
Hello! Cash register.
Hello! Cash register.
Guys, big find, big find.
Guys, big find, big find.
Guys, big find, big find.
And we beat the citizen's patrol And we beat the citizen's patrol And we beat the citizen's patrol for once, guys, huh? For once, guys, huh? For once, guys, huh? soup's on.
Spicy thai soup.
soup's on.
Spicy thai soup.
soup's on.
Spicy thai soup.
Dangle: Son of a bitch! Dangle: Son of a bitch! Dangle: Son of a bitch! yeah, I didn't want to-- yeah, I didn't want to-- yeah, I didn't want to-- I didn't want to, you know, I didn't want to, you know, I didn't want to, you know, burst your bubble, but he got Burst your bubble, but he got Burst your bubble, but he got here right after we did.
Here right after we did.
Here right after we did.
hey, rick.
hey, rick.
hey, rick.
I'm not doing anything with I'm not doing anything with I'm not doing anything with that.
It's just for evidence.
That.
It's just for evidence.
That.
It's just for evidence.
oh, hey, while you're working oh, hey, while you're working oh, hey, while you're working on that, I'm gonna run upstairs On that, I'm gonna run upstairs On that, I'm gonna run upstairs and take a quick couple of And take a quick couple of And take a quick couple of photographs of the evidence Photographs of the evidence Photographs of the evidence upstairs and I'll be right back Upstairs and I'll be right back Upstairs and I'll be right back and show it all to you.
And show it all to you.
And show it all to you.
ok, but we'll need to get our ok, but we'll need to get our ok, but we'll need to get our own photographs of that.
Here's Own photographs of that.
Here's Own photographs of that.
Here's the deal.
The deal.
The deal.
I'm glad to let you use my I'm glad to let you use my I'm glad to let you use my photographs, too.
Photographs, too.
Photographs, too.
no, we're gonna take our own no, we're gonna take our own no, we're gonna take our own photographs, right? Photographs, right? Photographs, right? I didn't bring the camera, I didn't bring the camera, I didn't bring the camera, but--ok, don't-- But--ok, don't-- But--ok, don't-- ok, then I'll make a deal ok, then I'll make a deal ok, then I'll make a deal with you.
With you.
With you.
I'd love to make a deal.
I'd love to make a deal.
I'd love to make a deal.
are you ok, seriously? are you ok, seriously? are you ok, seriously? I'm fine.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
you have a good doctor that you have a good doctor that you have a good doctor that you see? You see? You see? oh, I'm fine.
oh, I'm fine.
oh, I'm fine.
like a good ear, nose, and like a good ear, nose, and like a good ear, nose, and throat guy, 'cause you don't Throat guy, 'cause you don't Throat guy, 'cause you don't sound ok.
Sound ok.
Sound ok.
this is just kind of a this is just kind of a this is just kind of a seasonal allergy thing.
Seasonal allergy thing.
Seasonal allergy thing.
You know, the larynx swells up You know, the larynx swells up You know, the larynx swells up and just-- And just-- And just-- ok.
We're gonna take credit ok.
We're gonna take credit ok.
We're gonna take credit for this one.
Ok? For this one.
Ok? For this one.
Ok? that's fine.
That's fine.
that's fine.
That's fine.
that's fine.
That's fine.
I like that idea.
I like that idea.
I like that idea.
uhh! I wish you wouldn't like uhh! I wish you wouldn't like uhh! I wish you wouldn't like that idea, but we are gonna take That idea, but we are gonna take That idea, but we are gonna take credit for it, ok? Credit for it, ok? Credit for it, ok? I hate that idea.
I hate that idea.
I hate that idea.
fine.
fine.
fine.
oh, that steams me.
You're oh, that steams me.
You're oh, that steams me.
You're gonna take all the credit? Gonna take all the credit? Gonna take all the credit? perfect, that's great.
perfect, that's great.
perfect, that's great.
right on.
right on.
right on.
great.
Good.
That's a deal.
great.
Good.
That's a deal.
great.
Good.
That's a deal.
Good police work.
Good police work.
Good police work.
would you hold onto this for would you hold onto this for would you hold onto this for me? Run upstairs, be right back, Me? Run upstairs, be right back, Me? Run upstairs, be right back, all right? All right? All right? ok.
ok.
ok.
[door closes.]
[door closes.]
[door closes.]
travis: Good guy.
Travis: Good guy.
Travis: Good guy.
Dangle: Very good guy.
Dangle: Very good guy.
Dangle: Very good guy.
smart guy, good guy.
smart guy, good guy.
smart guy, good guy.
you know, it's weird.
you know, it's weird.
you know, it's weird.
He's so freakin' smart sometimes He's so freakin' smart sometimes He's so freakin' smart sometimes I can't even-- I can't even-- I can't even-- like I can't figure out Like I can't figure out Like I can't figure out how he figures things out.
Well, How he figures things out.
Well, How he figures things out.
Well, I can't even begin to figure out I can't even begin to figure out I can't even begin to figure out how he figures-- How he figures-- How he figures-- trudy: And he cooks really good.
Trudy: And he cooks really good.
Trudy: And he cooks really good.
Dangle: I don't hear anything up Dangle: I don't hear anything up Dangle: I don't hear anything up there.
There.
There.
up where? up where? up where? he said he was going he said he was going he said he was going upstairs.
Upstairs.
Upstairs.
there's no second floor.
there's no second floor.
there's no second floor.
This is a one-story house.
When This is a one-story house.
When This is a one-story house.
When we came in, I saw from the We came in, I saw from the We came in, I saw from the window there's no second floor.
Window there's no second floor.
Window there's no second floor.
are you sure? are you sure? are you sure? yeah.
yeah.
yeah.
Dangle: Rick! If there was Dangle: Rick! If there was Dangle: Rick! If there was a second story, there would be A second story, there would be A second story, there would be stairs.
Stairs.
Stairs.
yeah, I know.
yeah, I know.
yeah, I know.
hello.
Um, hello.
That's hello.
Um, hello.
That's hello.
Um, hello.
That's rick.
This is rick's house, Rick.
This is rick's house, Rick.
This is rick's house, gang.
Shit shit! Gang.
Shit shit! Gang.
Shit shit! long gone.
long gone.
long gone.
his knives.
his knives.
his knives.
long gone.
That totally makes long gone.
That totally makes long gone.
That totally makes sense that he stole it and he Sense that he stole it and he Sense that he stole it and he knew-- Knew-- Knew-- no wonder he figured it out.
no wonder he figured it out.
no wonder he figured it out.
He did it.
He did it.
He did it.
not as smart as we thought.
not as smart as we thought.
not as smart as we thought.
not smart at all.
He did it.
not smart at all.
He did it.
not smart at all.
He did it.
Oh, shit! Oh, my god! Oh, shit! Oh, my god! Oh, shit! Oh, my god! What do I got? Look what I got.
What do I got? Look what I got.
What do I got? Look what I got.
Trudy: Ohh! His tape recorder.
Trudy: Ohh! His tape recorder.
Trudy: Ohh! His tape recorder.
Rick, on tape: Test, test, test.
Rick, on tape: Test, test, test.
Rick, on tape: Test, test, test.
[clucking like chicken.]
[clucking like chicken.]
[clucking like chicken.]
ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Buck buck buck-gack! Buck buck buck-gack! Buck buck buck-gack! mtv networks.]
Mtv networks.]
Mtv networks.]
buck-gack! Buck-gack! Buck-gack! Buck buck buck buck-gack! Buck buck buck buck-gack! Buck buck buck buck-gack! Buck-gack! Buck-gack! Buck-gack! Buck-gack! Buck-gack! Buck-gack! Captioning institute Captioning institute --Www.
Ncicap.
Org--.]
--Www.
Ncicap.
Org--.]
buck buck buck-gack! Buck buck buck-gack! Buck buck buck-gack! Buck-gack! I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I'm not asking you to be I'm not asking you to be I'm not asking you to be a narc.
I'm not asking you to A narc.
I'm not asking you to A narc.
I'm not asking you to wear a wire.
Wear a wire.
Wear a wire.
we're not even asking you to we're not even asking you to we're not even asking you to keep your ear to the ground or Keep your ear to the ground or Keep your ear to the ground or even necessarily tell us about Even necessarily tell us about Even necessarily tell us about illegal things that you see.
Illegal things that you see.
Illegal things that you see.
I don't even want to hear it, I don't even want to hear it, I don't even want to hear it, to be honest, 'cause I kind of To be honest, 'cause I kind of To be honest, 'cause I kind of like eating here.
Like eating here.
Like eating here.
we just would like free tacos we just would like free tacos we just would like free tacos when we come by because we feel When we come by because we feel When we come by because we feel like, as police officers, we Like, as police officers, we Like, as police officers, we deserve it.
Deserve it.
Deserve it.
all I want from you is a yes.
all I want from you is a yes.
all I want from you is a yes.
no.
no.
no.
[all laughing.]
It's the That we do every year.
It's the That we do every year.
It's the deputy panty raid.
And, uh-- Deputy panty raid.
And, uh-- Deputy panty raid.
And, uh-- it's just for fun.
We're gonna-- It's just for fun.
We're gonna-- It's just for fun.
We're gonna-- > it's more for them than for > it's more for them than for > it's more for them than for us.
Us.
Us.
it really is.
These are-- it really is.
These are-- it really is.
These are-- > it boosts up their morale.
> it boosts up their morale.
> it boosts up their morale.
yeah.
These are older ladies.
yeah.
These are older ladies.
yeah.
These are older ladies.
We don't really care what their We don't really care what their We don't really care what their panties look like, but it puts Panties look like, but it puts Panties look like, but it puts a spring in their step-- A spring in their step-- A spring in their step-- it makes them feel better.
it makes them feel better.
it makes them feel better.
> yeah, it does.
So here we go > yeah, it does.
So here we go > yeah, it does.
So here we go with the deputy panty raid.
With the deputy panty raid.
With the deputy panty raid.
Ready? 3, 2, 1-- Ready? 3, 2, 1-- Ready? 3, 2, 1-- all: Panty raid! Panty raid! All: Panty raid! Panty raid! All: Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty raid! Raid! Panty raid! Panty raid! Raid! Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty-- Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty-- Panty raid! Panty raid! Panty-- > wait-- > wait-- > wait-- oh, hey, gang.
oh, hey, gang.
oh, hey, gang.
> oh, god! > oh, god! > oh, god! it's panty raid time again? it's panty raid time again? it's panty raid time again? > fuck.
Oh jesus christ.
> fuck.
Oh jesus christ.
> fuck.
Oh jesus christ.
All: Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! All: Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! All: Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
could someone help me check could someone help me check could someone help me check my bush? My bush? My bush? > no, no! [vomits.]
> no, no! [vomits.]
> no, no! [vomits.]
[vomit splashes.]
[vomit splashes.]
[vomit splashes.]
[groaning, gagging, coughing.]
Man: Come on.
She tricked me! Man: Come on.
She tricked me! Man: Come on.
She tricked me! It was a trick! pow! whoa! [whistle blowing.]
[whistle blowing.]
[whistle blowing.]
all right! all right! all right! I got this side.
get back in the building! get back in the building! get back in the building! No loitering! No loitering! No loitering! Women: Aah! [siren.]
[siren.]
[siren.]
mtv networks.]
ok! Please pay attention ok! Please pay attention ok! Please pay attention To motivational speaker To motivational speaker To motivational speaker mr.
Jeff george.
Mr.
George! Fucking clap, people.
Fucking clap, people.
Fucking clap, people.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
good morning, everyone.
good morning, everyone.
good morning, everyone.
good morning.
good morning.
good morning.
ladies and gentlemen of the ladies and gentlemen of the ladies and gentlemen of the reno sheriff's department Reno sheriff's department Reno sheriff's department You people, as a force, You people, as a force, You people, as a force, as a community, as a group, As a community, as a group, As a community, as a group, have an opportunity.
Have an opportunity.
Have an opportunity.
And that is why I am here today.
And that is why I am here today.
And that is why I am here today.
That is why lieutenant jimmy That is why lieutenant jimmy That is why lieutenant jimmy dangle asked me to speak to you.
Dangle asked me to speak to you.
Dangle asked me to speak to you.
Let's look at the facts.
Currently, we are at code fault Currently, we are at code fault Currently, we are at code fault on the daughter board, and the On the daughter board, and the On the daughter board, and the daisy wheel is just about to Daisy wheel is just about to Daisy wheel is just about to crash, and all you people do Crash, and all you people do Crash, and all you people do is sit around and gritch.
Is sit around and gritch.
Is sit around and gritch.
I ask you, does the belt not go I ask you, does the belt not go I ask you, does the belt not go through all the loops? You all Through all the loops? You all Through all the loops? You all see yourselves as brilliant See yourselves as brilliant See yourselves as brilliant little pebbles, just waiting for Little pebbles, just waiting for Little pebbles, just waiting for your code word.
Your code word.
Your code word.
Well, what if your code word Well, what if your code word Well, what if your code word doesn't come, huh? Uh-huh! Doesn't come, huh? Uh-huh! Doesn't come, huh? Uh-huh! Are you gonna sit around in your Are you gonna sit around in your Are you gonna sit around in your cruiser and wind up as ejected Cruiser and wind up as ejected Cruiser and wind up as ejected from somebody's crazy physics From somebody's crazy physics From somebody's crazy physics package? Package? Package? P.
A.
: Watch commander to the P.
A.
: Watch commander to the P.
A.
: Watch commander to the bridge.
Bridge.
Bridge.
one simple question.
one simple question.
one simple question.
Who the hell hit the chicken Who the hell hit the chicken Who the hell hit the chicken switch?! Huh?! Who the hell hit Switch?! Huh?! Who the hell hit Switch?! Huh?! Who the hell hit the chicken switch? Garcia, you The chicken switch? Garcia, you The chicken switch? Garcia, you haven't been pounding the bricks Haven't been pounding the bricks Haven't been pounding the bricks here in reno to buy johnson a Here in reno to buy johnson a Here in reno to buy johnson a suit or jones a dress, have you? Suit or jones a dress, have you? Suit or jones a dress, have you? no, sir.
no, sir.
no, sir.
I did not think so.
Because I did not think so.
Because I did not think so.
Because you are not anybody's meat You are not anybody's meat You are not anybody's meat puppet.
Say that with me.
Puppet.
Say that with me.
Puppet.
Say that with me.
All: I am not anybody's meat All: I am not anybody's meat All: I am not anybody's meat puppet! I am not anybody's meat Puppet! I am not anybody's meat Puppet! I am not anybody's meat puppet! Puppet! Puppet! officers, hands in.
Hands officers, hands in.
Hands officers, hands in.
Hands into the center there.
On 3 Into the center there.
On 3 Into the center there.
On 3 "reno! Reno! Reno!" "reno! Reno! Reno!" "reno! Reno! Reno!" all: Reno! Reno! Reno! thank you.
I have no fucking idea what I have no fucking idea what I have no fucking idea what it is we're supposed to do.
It is we're supposed to do.
It is we're supposed to do.
are we in trouble? I'm not are we in trouble? I'm not are we in trouble? I'm not a meat puppet or a bean.
A meat puppet or a bean.
A meat puppet or a bean.
I don't know.
I got him off I don't know.
I got him off I don't know.
I got him off the internet.
The whole The internet.
The whole The internet.
The whole motivational speech was only Motivational speech was only Motivational speech was only $15.
$15.
$15.
oh, well oh, well oh, well $15? $15? $15? yeah.
Yeah.
Trudy: Sheriff's department! Trudy: Sheriff's department! Trudy: Sheriff's department! Dangle: What do we got? Dangle: What do we got? Dangle: What do we got? in the back.
In the back.
in the back.
In the back.
in the back.
In the back.
Welcome to our homicide.
Welcome to our homicide.
Welcome to our homicide.
in the back? in the back? in the back? in the back.
You're not gonna in the back.
You're not gonna in the back.
You're not gonna like what you see.
Like what you see.
Like what you see.
Brace yourself.
Brace yourself.
Brace yourself.
ohh! ohh! ohh! oh, dear.
oh, dear.
oh, dear.
Dangle: Oh, boy.
Dangle: Oh, boy.
Dangle: Oh, boy.
Trudy: Oh, dear.
Trudy: Oh, dear.
Trudy: Oh, dear.
did you get a shot of this? did you get a shot of this? did you get a shot of this? yeah.
I could use another yeah.
I could use another yeah.
I could use another one, though.
They keep coming One, though.
They keep coming One, though.
They keep coming out all black.
Out all black.
Out all black.
get another clear shot of get another clear shot of get another clear shot of that.
Good god, right in That.
Good god, right in That.
Good god, right in the spine.
The spine.
The spine.
you know what I think it is, you know what I think it is, you know what I think it is, jim? I think somebody got Jim? I think somebody got Jim? I think somebody got stabbed in the back.
That's what Stabbed in the back.
That's what Stabbed in the back.
That's what I think.
I don't want to jump to I think.
I don't want to jump to I think.
I don't want to jump to conclusions, but Conclusions, but Conclusions, but thanks, trudy.
thanks, trudy.
thanks, trudy.
Oh, great.
Rick.
Oh, great.
Rick.
Oh, great.
Rick.
[door beeps.]
[door beeps.]
[door beeps.]
hi, rick.
hi, rick.
hi, rick.
we don't need you, rick.
we don't need you, rick.
we don't need you, rick.
We're all over it.
We don't need We're all over it.
We don't need We're all over it.
We don't need the citizen's patrol.
The citizen's patrol.
The citizen's patrol.
I tell you, I don't take kindly I tell you, I don't take kindly I tell you, I don't take kindly to citizens taking it upon To citizens taking it upon To citizens taking it upon themselves to enforce the law.
Themselves to enforce the law.
Themselves to enforce the law.
neighborhood watch--all them neighborhood watch--all them neighborhood watch--all them fellas.
Fellas.
Fellas.
citizen's patrol.
citizen's patrol.
citizen's patrol.
Horse apples.
Horse apples.
Horse apples.
if it was easy to be good at if it was easy to be good at if it was easy to be good at law enforcement, wouldn't we be? Law enforcement, wouldn't we be? Law enforcement, wouldn't we be? think about it.
think about it.
think about it.
think about that.
think about that.
think about that.
>>think about it.
>>think about it.
>>think about it.
put that in your little put that in your little put that in your little beret.
Beret.
Beret.
so you can take your beret so you can take your beret so you can take your beret and your cape and go back to And your cape and go back to And your cape and go back to your mom's, ok? Your mom's, ok? Your mom's, ok? [whispering.]
hi.
[whispering.]
hi.
[whispering.]
hi.
oh, you missed what I said.
oh, you missed what I said.
oh, you missed what I said.
Come here, help us out.
[sighs.]
Come here, help us out.
[sighs.]
Come here, help us out.
[sighs.]
lookie.
Lookie.
Lookie.
missing cash register.
missing cash register.
missing cash register.
aah! Son of a bitch! aah! Son of a bitch! aah! Son of a bitch! Cash register's missing.
Cash register's missing.
Cash register's missing.
Kimball, photo! Kimball, photo! Kimball, photo! I'm on it.
I'm on it.
I'm on it.
right here.
There's blood right here.
There's blood right here.
There's blood around-- Around-- Around-- nineties, out of new york.
nineties, out of new york.
nineties, out of new york.
Steel national cash register.
Steel national cash register.
Steel national cash register.
do you want a lozenge or do you want a lozenge or do you want a lozenge or something? Are you ok? Something? Are you ok? Something? Are you ok? no, it's just another no, it's just another no, it's just another flare-up.
I've got some throat Flare-up.
I've got some throat Flare-up.
I've got some throat cold.
Cold.
Cold.
if you stop talking like that if you stop talking like that if you stop talking like that your voice will feel better.
Your voice will feel better.
Your voice will feel better.
if you don't want it now, if you don't want it now, if you don't want it now, save it for later.
Save it for later.
Save it for later.
I appreciate it, but I'm I appreciate it, but I'm I appreciate it, but I'm gonna go.
Gonna go.
Gonna go.
I wish you'd take it.
I wish you'd take it.
I wish you'd take it.
thank you very much.
thank you very much.
thank you very much.
you'll take it, but you're you'll take it, but you're you'll take it, but you're not gonna use it.
Not gonna use it.
Not gonna use it.
your wish has come true, your wish has come true, your wish has come true, I'm taking it.
I'm taking it.
I'm taking it.
This is a blond hair.
This is a blond hair.
This is a blond hair.
blond hair! blond hair! blond hair! blond hair! blond hair! blond hair! blond hair, everybody.
blond hair, everybody.
blond hair, everybody.
you guys missed everything.
you guys missed everything.
you guys missed everything.
that's a wig hair.
that's a wig hair.
that's a wig hair.
it's a wig hair.
That's it's a wig hair.
That's it's a wig hair.
That's a label.
What have we got? A label.
What have we got? A label.
What have we got? What have we got? What have we got? What have we got? it's all written in thai.
it's all written in thai.
it's all written in thai.
right.
Right.
right.
Right.
right.
Right.
ha ha ha ha ha ha! ha ha ha ha ha ha! ha ha ha ha ha ha! is it important? Does it is it important? Does it is it important? Does it say something? Say something? Say something? no, it's just something no, it's just something no, it's just something funny.
Funny.
Funny.
here's the deal.
here's the deal.
here's the deal.
Here's the deal.
We don't need Here's the deal.
We don't need Here's the deal.
We don't need your help.
Your help.
Your help.
I understand.
I understand.
I understand.
we don't need it.
We would we don't need it.
We would we don't need it.
We would figure--everything you tell us, Figure--everything you tell us, Figure--everything you tell us, all the help you give us, we All the help you give us, we All the help you give us, we will eventually figure out.
Ok? Will eventually figure out.
Ok? Will eventually figure out.
Ok? What? What was I looking at? What? What was I looking at? What? What was I looking at? What are you looking at? What are you looking at? What are you looking at? what do you see? what do you see? what do you see? what do you see? what do you see? what do you see? nothing.
No, I thought nothing.
No, I thought nothing.
No, I thought I saw something, but I didn't.
I saw something, but I didn't.
I saw something, but I didn't.
no, you saw something.
no, you saw something.
no, you saw something.
no, I didn't.
I got to run.
no, I didn't.
I got to run.
no, I didn't.
I got to run.
You ought to consider calling You ought to consider calling You ought to consider calling a paramedic.
He's still alive.
A paramedic.
He's still alive.
A paramedic.
He's still alive.
oh, my god! He's still alive, oh, my god! He's still alive, oh, my god! He's still alive, people! People! People! People! People! People! how did we miss that? how did we miss that? how did we miss that? he's not ok.
he's not ok.
he's not ok.
you want some water, sir? you want some water, sir? you want some water, sir? Do you want some water? Do you want some water? Do you want some water? he's obviously unconscious.
he's obviously unconscious.
he's obviously unconscious.
oh, shit.
I wish rick was oh, shit.
I wish rick was oh, shit.
I wish rick was still here.
what took you guys so long? what took you guys so long? what took you guys so long? Hurry up.
Hurry up.
Hurry up.
what's the problem, sir? what's the problem, sir? what's the problem, sir? the problem is, man, the problem is, man, the problem is, man, I'm a hip-hop producer.
Someone I'm a hip-hop producer.
Someone I'm a hip-hop producer.
Someone stole all my tapes last night-- Stole all my tapes last night-- Stole all my tapes last night-- my original tapes.
Man, I laid My original tapes.
Man, I laid My original tapes.
Man, I laid down some fresh tracks, somebody Down some fresh tracks, somebody Down some fresh tracks, somebody stole it last night in the Stole it last night in the Stole it last night in the middle of the night.
Middle of the night.
Middle of the night.
did you see the person? did you see the person? did you see the person? no, it was night.
How am I no, it was night.
How am I no, it was night.
How am I gonna see him, man? Yeah, man, I Gonna see him, man? Yeah, man, I Gonna see him, man? Yeah, man, I got really high last night and Got really high last night and Got really high last night and passed out and someone got into Passed out and someone got into Passed out and someone got into my place-- My place-- My place-- all right, back up just a-- all right, back up just a-- all right, back up just a-- back up just a second.
Back up just a second.
Back up just a second.
yeah? yeah? yeah? "I got really high last "I got really high last "I got really high last night.
" Night.
" Night.
" that's right.
Well, I get that's right.
Well, I get that's right.
Well, I get really high every night, but Really high every night, but Really high every night, but realhigh last night Realhigh last night Realhigh last night 'cause I ate a lot of it, too, 'cause I ate a lot of it, too, 'cause I ate a lot of it, too, accidentally.
Man, I made a list Accidentally.
Man, I made a list Accidentally.
Man, I made a list of all the songs.
Of all the songs.
Of all the songs.
well, I'd love to hear "cops well, I'd love to hear "cops well, I'd love to hear "cops will never catch me.
" look at Will never catch me.
" look at Will never catch me.
" look at this.
"fuck the pigs.
" This.
"fuck the pigs.
" This.
"fuck the pigs.
" yeah.
yeah.
yeah.
"fuck the fuzz.
" I bet "fuck the fuzz.
" I bet "fuck the fuzz.
" I bet you'd like that a lot, wouldn't You'd like that a lot, wouldn't You'd like that a lot, wouldn't you? You? You? there's some good stuff on there's some good stuff on there's some good stuff on there.
There.
There.
sir, you didn't realize-- sir, you didn't realize-- sir, you didn't realize-- aah! Aaaaah! You're gonna end aah! Aaaaah! You're gonna end aah! Aaaaah! You're gonna end up being a lyric in one of my Up being a lyric in one of my Up being a lyric in one of my new songs! New songs! New songs! all right! all right! all right! fuck kimball! fuck kimball! fuck kimball! Friday night, and I'm broke Friday night, and I'm broke Friday night, and I'm broke again.
Boy, I really need to Again.
Boy, I really need to Again.
Boy, I really need to turn my life around.
Turn my life around.
Turn my life around.
is your life going nowhere is your life going nowhere is your life going nowhere fast? Why not enroll now in Fast? Why not enroll now in Fast? Why not enroll now in The reno sheriff's department The reno sheriff's department The reno sheriff's department needs you.
Needs you.
Needs you.
what if I told you I had what if I told you I had what if I told you I had a criminal record? A criminal record? A criminal record? how many times do I got to how many times do I got to how many times do I got to say it? The reno sheriff's Say it? The reno sheriff's Say it? The reno sheriff's department needs you.
Anyone can Department needs you.
Anyone can Department needs you.
Anyone can apply.
Even if you've been Apply.
Even if you've been Apply.
Even if you've been convicted of Anything up to and including Anything up to and including Anything up to and including you have the right to remain you have the right to remain you have the right to remain silent, because I'm already Silent, because I'm already Silent, because I'm already convinced.
Convinced.
Convinced.
so if you're tired of sitting so if you're tired of sitting so if you're tired of sitting in the back of the squad car In the back of the squad car In the back of the squad car and ready to try out And ready to try out And ready to try out the driver's seat The driver's seat The driver's seat [siren.]
[siren.]
[siren.]
[siren.]
so you gonna help me out with so you gonna help me out with so you gonna help me out with that loan? That loan? That loan? no.
I loaned you last month.
no.
I loaned you last month.
no.
I loaned you last month.
I know, but I'm a little I know, but I'm a little I know, but I'm a little short.
Short.
Short.
P.
A.
: Deputy garcia, P.
A.
: Deputy garcia, P.
A.
: Deputy garcia, jackie martino is here to see Jackie martino is here to see Jackie martino is here to see you.
Deputy garcia, jackie You.
Deputy garcia, jackie You.
Deputy garcia, jackie martino's at the front desk.
can I help you? can I help you? can I help you? hi.
hi.
hi.
hello.
hello.
hello.
do you remember me? do you remember me? do you remember me? uh uh uh I'm jackie, the hooker from I'm jackie, the hooker from I'm jackie, the hooker from fourth street.
Fourth street.
Fourth street.
ohh! Hey! ohh! Hey! ohh! Hey! yeah, hi! yeah, hi! yeah, hi! how are you? Look at you.
how are you? Look at you.
how are you? Look at you.
it's so nice to see you.
it's so nice to see you.
it's so nice to see you.
it's nice to see you, too.
it's nice to see you, too.
it's nice to see you, too.
thank you for everything you thank you for everything you thank you for everything you did for me, because all the help Did for me, because all the help Did for me, because all the help that you gave me by stopping by That you gave me by stopping by That you gave me by stopping by and showing me that you cared, And showing me that you cared, And showing me that you cared, really turned my life around.
Really turned my life around.
Really turned my life around.
I'm not a hooker anymore.
I'm not a hooker anymore.
I'm not a hooker anymore.
that's good.
that's good.
that's good.
all of my scabs have pretty all of my scabs have pretty all of my scabs have pretty much cleared up.
And I'm Much cleared up.
And I'm Much cleared up.
And I'm a telemarketer now.
So I just A telemarketer now.
So I just A telemarketer now.
So I just wanted to say thanks for being Wanted to say thanks for being Wanted to say thanks for being so great.
So great.
So great.
you're welcome.
Well, I tell you're welcome.
Well, I tell you're welcome.
Well, I tell you, it makes me feel good, You, it makes me feel good, You, it makes me feel good, tickles the heart strings, to Tickles the heart strings, to Tickles the heart strings, to know that things that we do Know that things that we do Know that things that we do actually matter in people's Actually matter in people's Actually matter in people's lives and--aah! Lives and--aah! Lives and--aah! gotcha! Ha ha ha ha! gotcha! Ha ha ha ha! gotcha! Ha ha ha ha! [shouting incoherently.]
[shouting incoherently.]
[shouting incoherently.]
ha ha ha ha ha ha! ha ha ha ha ha ha! ha ha ha ha ha ha! ohh! Ow! Man! She threw hot ohh! Ow! Man! She threw hot ohh! Ow! Man! She threw hot coffee in my face! Coffee in my face! Coffee in my face! where'd she go? where'd she go? where'd she go? go on get a rag, call go on get a rag, call go on get a rag, call somebody.
Somebody.
Somebody.
where'd the phone go? where'd the phone go? where'd the phone go? I don't know! Use your own I don't know! Use your own I don't know! Use your own damn radio! Son of a bitch! Damn radio! Son of a bitch! Damn radio! Son of a bitch! [siren.]
[siren.]
[siren.]
morning.
Whoa! morning.
Whoa! morning.
Whoa! Garcia: We got something.
Garcia: We got something.
Garcia: We got something.
We don't know what.
We don't know what.
We don't know what.
Jones: Somebody did something to Jones: Somebody did something to Jones: Somebody did something to someone.
I don't know.
Someone.
I don't know.
Someone.
I don't know.
blood all over.
blood all over.
blood all over.
yeah, there's blood yeah, there's blood yeah, there's blood everywhere.
Everywhere.
Everywhere.
marked it off.
marked it off.
marked it off.
any witnesses? any witnesses? any witnesses? nobody here.
Hey, hello! nobody here.
Hey, hello! nobody here.
Hey, hello! should I taste it and be sure should I taste it and be sure should I taste it and be sure it's blood? It's blood? It's blood? no, it's blood.
no, it's blood.
no, it's blood.
uh-oh.
Jim, jim, jim, jim.
uh-oh.
Jim, jim, jim, jim.
uh-oh.
Jim, jim, jim, jim.
[whispering.]
go around here.
[whispering.]
go around here.
[whispering.]
go around here.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
hey, rick! hey, rick! hey, rick! what? Rick! what? Rick! what? Rick! [whistles.]
[whistles.]
[whistles.]
how are you, dingle? how are you, dingle? how are you, dingle? dangle! And it's lieutenant.
dangle! And it's lieutenant.
dangle! And it's lieutenant.
excuse me.
excuse me.
excuse me.
thank you.
thank you.
thank you.
deputy.
deputy.
deputy.
and we've got everything and we've got everything and we've got everything under control.
We do not need Under control.
We do not need Under control.
We do not need the help of the citizen's The help of the citizen's The help of the citizen's patrol.
Thank you very much.
Patrol.
Thank you very much.
Patrol.
Thank you very much.
We got this one.
We got this one.
We got this one.
all right, well all right, well all right, well this is a crime scene, rick.
this is a crime scene, rick.
this is a crime scene, rick.
hey, there's a gum wrapper.
hey, there's a gum wrapper.
hey, there's a gum wrapper.
What? Oh, my god! What? Oh, my god! What? Oh, my god! Trudy: Aah! Trudy: Aah! Trudy: Aah! oh, shit.
Oh, my god! oh, shit.
Oh, my god! oh, shit.
Oh, my god! you guys! you guys! you guys! way to go, guys.
way to go, guys.
way to go, guys.
did you see this? did you see this? did you see this? Jones: What happened? Jones: What happened? Jones: What happened? Trudy: There's a body.
Trudy: There's a body.
Trudy: There's a body.
ohh! ohh! ohh! I don't need your help.
I don't need your help.
I don't need your help.
I don't want your help.
I don't want your help.
I don't want your help.
I don't need your help, and I I don't need your help, and I I don't need your help, and I don't want your help, rick.
Don't want your help, rick.
Don't want your help, rick.
cash register's missing.
cash register's missing.
cash register's missing.
cash register's missing.
cash register's missing.
cash register's missing.
fudge! Yeah, it'd be right fudge! Yeah, it'd be right fudge! Yeah, it'd be right here next to the thing.
Here next to the thing.
Here next to the thing.
yeah, right.
yeah, right.
yeah, right.
thank you very much.
thank you very much.
thank you very much.
All you're doing-- All you're doing-- All you're doing-- it was manufactured between it was manufactured between it was manufactured between '65 and '75 out of chicago.
'65 and '75 out of chicago.
'65 and '75 out of chicago.
don't talk to joe.
don't talk to joe.
don't talk to joe.
Don't talk to joe.
Don't talk to joe.
Don't talk to joe.
Don't tell things to joe.
Don't tell things to joe.
Don't tell things to joe.
I do that.
I do that.
I do that.
oh, I didn't know.
oh, I didn't know.
oh, I didn't know.
that's my bit.
that's my bit.
that's my bit.
sorry, I didn't know.
sorry, I didn't know.
sorry, I didn't know.
no, I'm the lieutenant.
no, I'm the lieutenant.
no, I'm the lieutenant.
This is my crime scene.
This is my crime scene.
This is my crime scene.
I'm not mad.
Ok, thank you for I'm not mad.
Ok, thank you for I'm not mad.
Ok, thank you for your help.
Your help.
Your help.
all right.
We might want to all right.
We might want to all right.
We might want to look into this, though.
This was Look into this, though.
This was Look into this, though.
This was in the victim's hand.
It's a In the victim's hand.
It's a In the victim's hand.
It's a receipt for a to-go order.
Receipt for a to-go order.
Receipt for a to-go order.
"fenab pulciri.
" "fenab pulciri.
" "fenab pulciri.
" trudy: Oh, my god.
Trudy: Oh, my god.
Trudy: Oh, my god.
oh, my god.
oh, my god.
oh, my god.
that could be the guy who did that could be the guy who did that could be the guy who did the crime.
The crime.
The crime.
well, yeah.
Came in, ordered well, yeah.
Came in, ordered well, yeah.
Came in, ordered take-out, forgot that he left Take-out, forgot that he left Take-out, forgot that he left the receiptUnh!And then The receiptUnh!And then The receiptUnh!And then uhh! And the cash register, Uhh! And the cash register, Uhh! And the cash register, and son of a bitch! Out the And son of a bitch! Out the And son of a bitch! Out the door.
Door.
Door.
Rick: Bingo, bingo.
Rick: Bingo, bingo.
Rick: Bingo, bingo.
ok, we really don't need your ok, we really don't need your ok, we really don't need your help anymore.
Help anymore.
Help anymore.
I'm gonna go down to the thai I'm gonna go down to the thai I'm gonna go down to the thai market down the street, Market down the street, Market down the street, see if I can find the guy.
See if I can find the guy.
See if I can find the guy.
son of a bitch, no.
son of a bitch, no.
son of a bitch, no.
let's see who gets there let's see who gets there let's see who gets there first.
First.
First.
no, no, no, no, no.
no, no, no, no, no.
no, no, no, no, no.
Son of a bitch.
No, no.
Son of a bitch.
No, no.
Son of a bitch.
No, no.
see you at the thai market.
see you at the thai market.
see you at the thai market.
son of a bitch.
Don't let son of a bitch.
Don't let son of a bitch.
Don't let rick solve this first, Rick solve this first, Rick solve this first, is my general directive.
Is my general directive.
Is my general directive.
Let's us solve it.
Let's us solve it.
Let's us solve it.
Ok? I don't want the citizen's Ok? I don't want the citizen's Ok? I don't want the citizen's patrol to solve another crime.
Patrol to solve another crime.
Patrol to solve another crime.
ok.
ok.
ok.
'cause it makes us look like 'cause it makes us look like 'cause it makes us look like douchebags.
Douchebags.
Douchebags.
see that? Read that? see that? Read that? see that? Read that? Can you read that? Can you read that? Can you read that? That's what I fucking do.
That's what I fucking do.
That's what I fucking do.
got a message to all you got a message to all you got a message to all you vigilante wannabes out there, Vigilante wannabes out there, Vigilante wannabes out there, we don't need your fucking help.
We don't need your fucking help.
We don't need your fucking help.
Stay indoors, watch your wheel Stay indoors, watch your wheel Stay indoors, watch your wheel of fortune, bring your mom Of fortune, bring your mom Of fortune, bring your mom dinner, go to sleep.
Dinner, go to sleep.
Dinner, go to sleep.
we have patches.
[bell ringing.]
[bell ringing.]
[bell ringing.]
just a little reminder about just a little reminder about just a little reminder about the water shortage here in reno, The water shortage here in reno, The water shortage here in reno, ok? You know, this is a perfect Ok? You know, this is a perfect Ok? You know, this is a perfect opportunity to just tell you Opportunity to just tell you Opportunity to just tell you if you don't need to shower, If you don't need to shower, If you don't need to shower, don't, ok? My mom introduced me Don't, ok? My mom introduced me Don't, ok? My mom introduced me to something called a p.
T.
A.
, To something called a p.
T.
A.
, To something called a p.
T.
A.
, and afterwards I'll tell you And afterwards I'll tell you And afterwards I'll tell you what that means in private.
What that means in private.
What that means in private.
Garcia: Stink a little, Garcia: Stink a little, Garcia: Stink a little, save a river.
Thank you, Save a river.
Thank you, Save a river.
Thank you, principal linkerville.
Principal linkerville.
Principal linkerville.
Hey, kids--children.
Deputy Hey, kids--children.
Deputy Hey, kids--children.
Deputy jones and I--I'm deputy james Jones and I--I'm deputy james Jones and I--I'm deputy james garcia--would like to talk to Garcia--would like to talk to Garcia--would like to talk to you kids about self defense, ok? You kids about self defense, ok? You kids about self defense, ok? Not only here in school, but Not only here in school, but Not only here in school, but what might happen after school What might happen after school What might happen after school in your surrounding In your surrounding In your surrounding neighborhoods.
Let's say for Neighborhoods.
Let's say for Neighborhoods.
Let's say for example you children got a good Example you children got a good Example you children got a good report card.
Somebody got a "c+" Report card.
Somebody got a "c+" Report card.
Somebody got a "c+" or a "b-", they're all excited Or a "b-", they're all excited Or a "b-", they're all excited to run home and tell mom and To run home and tell mom and To run home and tell mom and dad, and you're running down Dad, and you're running down Dad, and you're running down the sidewalk, and then all of The sidewalk, and then all of The sidewalk, and then all of a sudden, pow, you run into A sudden, pow, you run into A sudden, pow, you run into a large black man on pcp.
Wow, A large black man on pcp.
Wow, A large black man on pcp.
Wow, that's scary, isn't it? I'd be That's scary, isn't it? I'd be That's scary, isn't it? I'd be scared.
You should be, too.
Scared.
You should be, too.
Scared.
You should be, too.
Ok? Now, all of a sudden-- Ok? Now, all of a sudden-- Ok? Now, all of a sudden-- what are you talking-- what are you talking-- what are you talking-- why large black man on pcp? Why large black man on pcp? Why large black man on pcp? Why? Just a man on pcp.
Why? Just a man on pcp.
Why? Just a man on pcp.
well, the large black man on well, the large black man on well, the large black man on pcp is what you usually see on Pcp is what you usually see on Pcp is what you usually see on television, right, kids? So, now Television, right, kids? So, now Television, right, kids? So, now normally your tendency would be Normally your tendency would be Normally your tendency would be is to run and flee from the Is to run and flee from the Is to run and flee from the large black man on pcp, Large black man on pcp, Large black man on pcp, but what you want to try to do But what you want to try to do But what you want to try to do is go through him, ok? 'cause Is go through him, ok? 'cause Is go through him, ok? 'cause it's in their nature to be It's in their nature to be It's in their nature to be violent already, but you add Violent already, but you add Violent already, but you add the pcp, and boy, they're gonna The pcp, and boy, they're gonna The pcp, and boy, they're gonna go through the roof.
Ok? That's Go through the roof.
Ok? That's Go through the roof.
Ok? That's just something you don't want to Just something you don't want to Just something you don't want to do.
So, you got your choices Do.
So, you got your choices Do.
So, you got your choices again.
You can either through Again.
You can either through Again.
You can either through him or you can turn to flee.
Him or you can turn to flee.
Him or you can turn to flee.
yeah.
I will fuck you up.
yeah.
I will fuck you up.
yeah.
I will fuck you up.
Get the fuck back.
Get the fuck back.
Get the fuck back.
[siren.]
[siren.]
[siren.]
[siren.]
dangle: [whistles.]
big t, Dangle: [whistles.]
big t, Dangle: [whistles.]
big t, terry bear.
Terry bear.
Terry bear.
hey, guys.
What's up? hey, guys.
What's up? hey, guys.
What's up? ââ¢Âª what's up, ââ¢Âª what's up, ââ¢Âª what's up, police? Police? Police? What's up? ââ¢Âª What's up? ââ¢Âª What's up? ââ¢Âª bo-beee-whoo! Bo-beee-whoo! Bo-beee-whoo! What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? how's life on the outside how's life on the outside how's life on the outside treating you, terry? Treating you, terry? Treating you, terry? on the outside of on the outside of on the outside of the restaurant? The restaurant? The restaurant? outside of the stir.
outside of the stir.
outside of the stir.
Free from the pen.
Free from the pen.
Free from the pen.
Feels good to be out? Feels good to be out? Feels good to be out? >it's good.
I love it.
I love it >it's good.
I love it.
I love it >it's good.
I love it.
I love it tastes good, doesn't it? tastes good, doesn't it? tastes good, doesn't it? Freedom tastes good.
Freedom tastes good.
Freedom tastes good.
it does taste good.
I like it does taste good.
I like it does taste good.
I like freedom.
Freedom.
Freedom.
you know what else tastes you know what else tastes you know what else tastes good, terry? Good, terry? Good, terry? what? what? what? tacos.
tacos.
tacos.
yeah, tacos are good.
yeah, tacos are good.
yeah, tacos are good.
Tacos and freedom.
Tacos and freedom.
Tacos and freedom.
I want a freedom taco.
I want a freedom taco.
I want a freedom taco.
drop the "dom".
drop the "dom".
drop the "dom".
Keep the "free.
" Keep the "free.
" Keep the "free.
" keep the "tacos.
" Keep the "tacos.
" do we understand each other? Do we understand each other? Do we understand each other? free-cos? free-cos? free-cos? no, you dropped too much.
no, you dropped too much.
no, you dropped too much.
Don't drop "ta.
" Don't drop "ta.
" Don't drop "ta.
" drop the d-o-m.
drop the d-o-m.
drop the d-o-m.
keep "ta.
" keep "ta.
" keep "ta.
" keep "ta.
" keep "ta.
" keep "ta.
" keep all of "tacos", keep all of "tacos", keep all of "tacos", keep "free", drop the-- Keep "free", drop the-- Keep "free", drop the-- we're talking about--terry We're talking about--terry We're talking about--terry we just feel as servants we just feel as servants we just feel as servants and protectors of the peace, And protectors of the peace, And protectors of the peace, we deserve a free taco every We deserve a free taco every We deserve a free taco every now and then.
Now and then.
Now and then.
and every now and then is and every now and then is and every now and then is every time we come.
Every time we come.
Every time we come.
yeah.
No.
I want a free taco, yeah.
No.
I want a free taco, yeah.
No.
I want a free taco, too.
I wish they were free.
Too.
I wish they were free.
Too.
I wish they were free.
That would be sweet.
That would be sweet.
That would be sweet.
terry, you fucking work here.
terry, you fucking work here.
terry, you fucking work here.
> fuck ! > fuck ! > fuck ! we have to fucking-- we have to fucking-- we have to fucking-- we have to answer 911 calls We have to answer 911 calls We have to answer 911 calls in this neighborhood and we'd In this neighborhood and we'd In this neighborhood and we'd like some free tacos.
Like some free tacos.
Like some free tacos.
we're asking for like $3.
00 we're asking for like $3.
00 we're asking for like $3.
00 worth of free shit.
Worth of free shit.
Worth of free shit.
Forget it.
Forget it.
Forget it.
Hey, next time you call 911, Hey, next time you call 911, Hey, next time you call 911, be real patient.
Be real patient.
Be real patient.
Be real patient.
Be real patient.
Be real patient.
[terry gasps.]
[terry gasps.]
[terry gasps.]
here's you.
here's you.
here's you.
that's the exact same thing that's the exact same thing that's the exact same thing he just did.
You didn't up the He just did.
You didn't up the He just did.
You didn't up the bar, you just did what he did.
Bar, you just did what he did.
Bar, you just did what he did.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
let's try the fucking donut let's try the fucking donut let's try the fucking donut place.
Oh, he just threw a taco Place.
Oh, he just threw a taco Place.
Oh, he just threw a taco at me.
At me.
At me.
what'd he do? what'd he do? what'd he do? he just threw a fucking taco he just threw a fucking taco he just threw a fucking taco at me! Freeze, motherfucker! [police radio squawking.]
[police radio squawking.]
[police radio squawking.]
sheriff's department! sheriff's department! sheriff's department! ho.
How you doing? ho.
How you doing? ho.
How you doing? it's about time.
it's about time.
it's about time.
how you doing, carmen.
how you doing, carmen.
how you doing, carmen.
What's--what's going on tonight? What's--what's going on tonight? What's--what's going on tonight? him.
Get him out.
him.
Get him out.
him.
Get him out.
they do not have what I need.
they do not have what I need.
they do not have what I need.
he's scaring away all my he's scaring away all my he's scaring away all my customers.
I have girls out here Customers.
I have girls out here Customers.
I have girls out here that need to be in there.
That need to be in there.
That need to be in there.
they do not have what I need! they do not have what I need! they do not have what I need! Jones: Ok, these girls don't Jones: Ok, these girls don't Jones: Ok, these girls don't have what you need? Have what you need? Have what you need? they don't have what I need! they don't have what I need! they don't have what I need! I doubt that very much, sir.
I doubt that very much, sir.
I doubt that very much, sir.
They're very good.
They're very good.
They're very good.
well, what are you asking well, what are you asking well, what are you asking for, sir? For, sir? For, sir? what is it that you want? what is it that you want? what is it that you want? they don't have it! they don't have it! they don't have it! ok, they don't have it.
ok, they don't have it.
ok, they don't have it.
they don't have what, sir? they don't have what, sir? they don't have what, sir? the operative word is "it".
the operative word is "it".
the operative word is "it".
What is "it", sir? What is "it", sir? What is "it", sir? hey, guys, sorry I'm late.
hey, guys, sorry I'm late.
hey, guys, sorry I'm late.
I was taking a nap in the back I was taking a nap in the back I was taking a nap in the back of the squad car, I didn't know Of the squad car, I didn't know Of the squad car, I didn't know we wereWhat's going on? [siren.]
[siren.]
[siren.]
[siren.]
dangle: We found it.
Dangle: We found it.
Dangle: We found it.
Travis: Yeah, come on in, door's Travis: Yeah, come on in, door's Travis: Yeah, come on in, door's unlocked.
Unlocked.
Unlocked.
what do we got? what do we got? what do we got? what do we got? Ho! what do we got? Ho! what do we got? Ho! yeah, stolen merchandise, yeah, stolen merchandise, yeah, stolen merchandise, stolen radios, stolen tvs.
Stolen radios, stolen tvs.
Stolen radios, stolen tvs.
the knives! The very same the knives! The very same the knives! The very same knives.
Check it out.
Knives.
Check it out.
Knives.
Check it out.
5 knives missing.
5 knives missing.
5 knives missing.
you guys.
you guys.
you guys.
Dangle: Oh, my god, hello! Dangle: Oh, my god, hello! Dangle: Oh, my god, hello! Hello! Cash register.
Hello! Cash register.
Hello! Cash register.
Guys, big find, big find.
Guys, big find, big find.
Guys, big find, big find.
And we beat the citizen's patrol And we beat the citizen's patrol And we beat the citizen's patrol for once, guys, huh? For once, guys, huh? For once, guys, huh? soup's on.
Spicy thai soup.
soup's on.
Spicy thai soup.
soup's on.
Spicy thai soup.
Dangle: Son of a bitch! Dangle: Son of a bitch! Dangle: Son of a bitch! yeah, I didn't want to-- yeah, I didn't want to-- yeah, I didn't want to-- I didn't want to, you know, I didn't want to, you know, I didn't want to, you know, burst your bubble, but he got Burst your bubble, but he got Burst your bubble, but he got here right after we did.
Here right after we did.
Here right after we did.
hey, rick.
hey, rick.
hey, rick.
I'm not doing anything with I'm not doing anything with I'm not doing anything with that.
It's just for evidence.
That.
It's just for evidence.
That.
It's just for evidence.
oh, hey, while you're working oh, hey, while you're working oh, hey, while you're working on that, I'm gonna run upstairs On that, I'm gonna run upstairs On that, I'm gonna run upstairs and take a quick couple of And take a quick couple of And take a quick couple of photographs of the evidence Photographs of the evidence Photographs of the evidence upstairs and I'll be right back Upstairs and I'll be right back Upstairs and I'll be right back and show it all to you.
And show it all to you.
And show it all to you.
ok, but we'll need to get our ok, but we'll need to get our ok, but we'll need to get our own photographs of that.
Here's Own photographs of that.
Here's Own photographs of that.
Here's the deal.
The deal.
The deal.
I'm glad to let you use my I'm glad to let you use my I'm glad to let you use my photographs, too.
Photographs, too.
Photographs, too.
no, we're gonna take our own no, we're gonna take our own no, we're gonna take our own photographs, right? Photographs, right? Photographs, right? I didn't bring the camera, I didn't bring the camera, I didn't bring the camera, but--ok, don't-- But--ok, don't-- But--ok, don't-- ok, then I'll make a deal ok, then I'll make a deal ok, then I'll make a deal with you.
With you.
With you.
I'd love to make a deal.
I'd love to make a deal.
I'd love to make a deal.
are you ok, seriously? are you ok, seriously? are you ok, seriously? I'm fine.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
you have a good doctor that you have a good doctor that you have a good doctor that you see? You see? You see? oh, I'm fine.
oh, I'm fine.
oh, I'm fine.
like a good ear, nose, and like a good ear, nose, and like a good ear, nose, and throat guy, 'cause you don't Throat guy, 'cause you don't Throat guy, 'cause you don't sound ok.
Sound ok.
Sound ok.
this is just kind of a this is just kind of a this is just kind of a seasonal allergy thing.
Seasonal allergy thing.
Seasonal allergy thing.
You know, the larynx swells up You know, the larynx swells up You know, the larynx swells up and just-- And just-- And just-- ok.
We're gonna take credit ok.
We're gonna take credit ok.
We're gonna take credit for this one.
Ok? For this one.
Ok? For this one.
Ok? that's fine.
That's fine.
that's fine.
That's fine.
that's fine.
That's fine.
I like that idea.
I like that idea.
I like that idea.
uhh! I wish you wouldn't like uhh! I wish you wouldn't like uhh! I wish you wouldn't like that idea, but we are gonna take That idea, but we are gonna take That idea, but we are gonna take credit for it, ok? Credit for it, ok? Credit for it, ok? I hate that idea.
I hate that idea.
I hate that idea.
fine.
fine.
fine.
oh, that steams me.
You're oh, that steams me.
You're oh, that steams me.
You're gonna take all the credit? Gonna take all the credit? Gonna take all the credit? perfect, that's great.
perfect, that's great.
perfect, that's great.
right on.
right on.
right on.
great.
Good.
That's a deal.
great.
Good.
That's a deal.
great.
Good.
That's a deal.
Good police work.
Good police work.
Good police work.
would you hold onto this for would you hold onto this for would you hold onto this for me? Run upstairs, be right back, Me? Run upstairs, be right back, Me? Run upstairs, be right back, all right? All right? All right? ok.
ok.
ok.
[door closes.]
[door closes.]
[door closes.]
travis: Good guy.
Travis: Good guy.
Travis: Good guy.
Dangle: Very good guy.
Dangle: Very good guy.
Dangle: Very good guy.
smart guy, good guy.
smart guy, good guy.
smart guy, good guy.
you know, it's weird.
you know, it's weird.
you know, it's weird.
He's so freakin' smart sometimes He's so freakin' smart sometimes He's so freakin' smart sometimes I can't even-- I can't even-- I can't even-- like I can't figure out Like I can't figure out Like I can't figure out how he figures things out.
Well, How he figures things out.
Well, How he figures things out.
Well, I can't even begin to figure out I can't even begin to figure out I can't even begin to figure out how he figures-- How he figures-- How he figures-- trudy: And he cooks really good.
Trudy: And he cooks really good.
Trudy: And he cooks really good.
Dangle: I don't hear anything up Dangle: I don't hear anything up Dangle: I don't hear anything up there.
There.
There.
up where? up where? up where? he said he was going he said he was going he said he was going upstairs.
Upstairs.
Upstairs.
there's no second floor.
there's no second floor.
there's no second floor.
This is a one-story house.
When This is a one-story house.
When This is a one-story house.
When we came in, I saw from the We came in, I saw from the We came in, I saw from the window there's no second floor.
Window there's no second floor.
Window there's no second floor.
are you sure? are you sure? are you sure? yeah.
yeah.
yeah.
Dangle: Rick! If there was Dangle: Rick! If there was Dangle: Rick! If there was a second story, there would be A second story, there would be A second story, there would be stairs.
Stairs.
Stairs.
yeah, I know.
yeah, I know.
yeah, I know.
hello.
Um, hello.
That's hello.
Um, hello.
That's hello.
Um, hello.
That's rick.
This is rick's house, Rick.
This is rick's house, Rick.
This is rick's house, gang.
Shit shit! Gang.
Shit shit! Gang.
Shit shit! long gone.
long gone.
long gone.
his knives.
his knives.
his knives.
long gone.
That totally makes long gone.
That totally makes long gone.
That totally makes sense that he stole it and he Sense that he stole it and he Sense that he stole it and he knew-- Knew-- Knew-- no wonder he figured it out.
no wonder he figured it out.
no wonder he figured it out.
He did it.
He did it.
He did it.
not as smart as we thought.
not as smart as we thought.
not as smart as we thought.
not smart at all.
He did it.
not smart at all.
He did it.
not smart at all.
He did it.
Oh, shit! Oh, my god! Oh, shit! Oh, my god! Oh, shit! Oh, my god! What do I got? Look what I got.
What do I got? Look what I got.
What do I got? Look what I got.
Trudy: Ohh! His tape recorder.
Trudy: Ohh! His tape recorder.
Trudy: Ohh! His tape recorder.
Rick, on tape: Test, test, test.
Rick, on tape: Test, test, test.
Rick, on tape: Test, test, test.
[clucking like chicken.]
[clucking like chicken.]
[clucking like chicken.]
ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Buck buck buck-gack! Buck buck buck-gack! Buck buck buck-gack! mtv networks.]
Mtv networks.]
Mtv networks.]
buck-gack! Buck-gack! Buck-gack! Buck buck buck buck-gack! Buck buck buck buck-gack! Buck buck buck buck-gack! Buck-gack! Buck-gack! Buck-gack! Buck-gack! Buck-gack! Buck-gack! Captioning institute Captioning institute --Www.
Ncicap.
Org--.]
--Www.
Ncicap.
Org--.]
buck buck buck-gack! Buck buck buck-gack! Buck buck buck-gack! Buck-gack! I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I'm not asking you to be I'm not asking you to be I'm not asking you to be a narc.
I'm not asking you to A narc.
I'm not asking you to A narc.
I'm not asking you to wear a wire.
Wear a wire.
Wear a wire.
we're not even asking you to we're not even asking you to we're not even asking you to keep your ear to the ground or Keep your ear to the ground or Keep your ear to the ground or even necessarily tell us about Even necessarily tell us about Even necessarily tell us about illegal things that you see.
Illegal things that you see.
Illegal things that you see.
I don't even want to hear it, I don't even want to hear it, I don't even want to hear it, to be honest, 'cause I kind of To be honest, 'cause I kind of To be honest, 'cause I kind of like eating here.
Like eating here.
Like eating here.
we just would like free tacos we just would like free tacos we just would like free tacos when we come by because we feel When we come by because we feel When we come by because we feel like, as police officers, we Like, as police officers, we Like, as police officers, we deserve it.
Deserve it.
Deserve it.
all I want from you is a yes.
all I want from you is a yes.
all I want from you is a yes.
no.
no.
no.
[all laughing.]