That's So Raven (2003) s04e04 Episode Script

1 Hey, what are they all looking at? I don't know, but it's in a classroom.
It can't be that exciting.
Hey, y'all, come here.
There's a Hollywood film crew in there.
Why? When did they start going to our school? No, they're scouting locations for their new movie, Honor Roll Zombies.
Wait a second.
They're shooting a movie in our school? Yeah! Excuse me.
Excuse me.
That's Toshi Nakamara, the hottest director in Hollywood! As the hottest director in Hollywood, I say perfect! Becky, this is where I'm gonna stage the final battle scene.
Ok? Nikki! Nicks! What do you think of this place? You feel this? You feel this? This location is great, Toshi.
It's so High school-ie.
You guys, you guys, that's Nikki Logan! She's, like, one of my favorite actresses.
She was so awesome as the vegetarian detective in Dude, where's my eggplant? Yeah, and her house in Malibu is off the chain.
I saw it on Young, rich, and fabulous.
Yeah! No, I totally saw that.
Yeah, her bathtub is so big, she even has her own diving board.
Chelse That was her swimming pool.
That would make more sense.
I could go for something sweet.
Nikki, no! Yep, that's me.
Help! Security! What? Security is not necessary.
Security wait! I was just helping her.
She was choking on her martian mango Taffy! Wait a minute.
Let her go.
Gently, nicely.
How did you know I had martian mango Taffy? This Taffy comes in 73 flavors.
I saw it on Rich, young, and fabulous.
No, they said I liked very, very Berry Taffy.
I just switched to martian mango this morning.
You would have to be a psychic to know that.
No, no, no! No, I'm not psychic.
What a bummer.
'Cause I'm playing a psychic in this movie, and I've been looking for a real psychic to hang out with and help me understand my character.
Hang out? Nikki, Nikki Logan, Nikki Hang Hang out with? Like Like chillin' like friends? Like pals? Like home skillet biscuits? Exactly.
And I need somebody soon because we start shooting tomorrow.
Ok, ok, ok! Truth be told, I am psychic.
I knew it! Yes, Nikki! Yes, you were right! But here's the deal.
I had a vision that you were choking on a piece of mango Taffy, Nikki Logan, and I needed to save you.
So a psychic saved my life? I can't believe you just fell into my life lap this.
I fell on your head, but we ain't gotta tell nobody, ok? I have so many questions.
Nikki Logan, I have your answers.
I do.
I'm home skillets with Nikki Logan! Logan and me chillin' like we're cool.
Hey, hey, mail call.
Cory, I think this is what you've been waiting for.
Yes.
It's a poster of my favorite boxer Lullaby Lopez! Lullaby? Why do they call him Lullaby? 'Cause one punch, and it is nighty-night for you.
Fizzo punch? Ok, why does he have that written all over him? Well, I guess a lot of people watch Lullaby fight, and the fizzo people probably pay him a lot of money to advertise on his body.
You know I get around a little bit myself.
And for the right price, I could advertise for the Chill Grill.
No Way.
Why Not? It's Tacky? Come on, Cory.
Why do you want somebody to write all over your body? Hey, I'm wearing my skin anyway.
Why waste this beautiful advertising space? Look at that.
That's right.
Forget it.
The Chill Grill doesn't need that kind of advertising.
Well Maybe I'll find someone who does.
My goodness! It was so cool taking a limousine home.
We don't have a hot tub on our school bus.
That was nothing.
Wait till I fly you down to Malibu in my private jet.
It's like a par-tay in the clouds.
My goodness.
A par-tay in the clouds! What it is, what it is, whassup? Yo, can my best friends come so we can par-tay, too? Sure.
Yeah, I'll put you all in the guest house.
Usher lives next door.
I hope you don't mind facing his glass-enclosed workout room.
You know that man never wears a shirt.
I know.
It's a shame.
That's ok.
I'll take care of it.
Ok, before we start Ok.
I just want to thank you for helping me understand what a real psychic is like.
'Cause after Honor Roll Zombies, I will finally be taken seriously as an actress.
Nikki Logan, what are home skillets for? You know what I'm sayin'? So What's first in a typical day of a psychic? I want to observe everything you do.
Ok, all right.
IAm gonna go get some orange juice.
Juice.
So is orange juice, like, some kind of psychic potion that give you visions and N no, I was just thirsty.
Are you having a vision? What do you see? Buried treasure! A missing person? Is there gonna be an earthquake? No.
This orange juice has turned! This is nasty! How come you didn't know that already? Nikki Logan, you're right.
I should've checked the label.
Smart.
No! No, I mean, you're psychic.
Couldn't you have seen that in your crystal ball or something? Crystal ball.
No, no.
Listen.
See, what happens is, is that I get these occasional visions that may Or may not come true.
It's crazy.
Really? Yep.
That's it? That's it.
It's amazing how some people might think that, you know, psychics are these freaks who get this jolt of energy, and we see the spirits, and and They trippin' when they think that 'cause it ain't true.
So other than the occasional vision that may or may not come true, you're just a regular kid? Yes, Nikki Logan.
Yes.
And you know what? It's so good that you understand that because now you can portray that psychics are just normal people.
We're not freaks! And now I can really go out into the world and be normal, and that just feels so good inside.
Yeah, yeah.
Because I've been hiding for so long.
That's nice.
Richard, you can bring the car around.
The car! What happened? Where we goin'? No.
I'm going.
Ok! Well, we're still on for, you know, Malibu, par-tay in the clouds with Usher.
Hey! What up? What up? You know what I'm sayin'? Like that, right? I will definitely get back to you on that.
Nikki Logan ain't gettin' back to me on that.
So long, Malibu.
Hey, babe.
We were just in the neighborhood and decided Nikki's gone.
What? Man, I was hoping she needed a leading man for her new movie.
The bus driver said I look like P.
Diddy.
You look more like the bus.
Man, I can't believe Nikki's not here.
I wanted her to sign my eggplant.
How come you can't just get a regular autograph album like everybody else? Excuse me! Do you know how long it takes to grow autograph albums? Anyway Nikki invited us on her private jet to go to Malibu.
Yes! But I blew it.
No! You know what? She wanted to see what a real psychic was like.
Well, that should've been easy, Rae.
All you had to do was be yourself.
And I did, and she was totally bored.
Well, what did you say? Tell me everything.
Ok, so I came home from school, I went to the refrigerator, and I got some orange juice.
Ok, classic Raven.
Man, what's her problem? I don't even know, Chelse.
And you know what? She's one of those people that thinks that psychics are freaks.
You know what I'm sayin'? She wants me to jump around and channel spirits and But it's not Rae! What? It is Malibu, ok? Would it have killed you to talk to some spirits? Listen She wanted to know what a real psychic was like.
We are real people.
You know, we wake up, we go to school, we brush our teeth, we wash our face, we put our pants on one leg at a time! I know I might not be the most exciting thing ever, all right? But I am not about to, you know, pretend I'm something that I'm not just so I can go to the parties and hang out on the beach and Watch Usher workout.
Shirtless Muscles glistening on the glass I knew it was going to be you.
Because you called and told me to rush over here.
So? What is it? Well, I know I led you to believe that I am one of those boring, juice-drinking psychics, but now that I can trust you, Nikki Logan Are you having a vision? Yes! Yes, and it's a big one! It's a big one! It's coming! It's coming! I'm melting! I'm melting! Here's Johnny! I see dead people! What? What a vision! What did you see? Come closer, Nikki Logan.
I saw you In Malibu.
Sitting on a pile of money.
You had just won an award for your role in Honor Roll Zombies.
Which one? Greatest actress on earth.
I didn't know there was such a thing.
Nikki Logan, there is in the future.
Raven, thank you! Now I know exactly how to play this character.
I'm glad I could help.
No.
You did more than help.
You made me the greatest actress on earth.
I gotta go.
My big psychic scene's at 5:00.
Girl, yes! Work it, work it! Yeah, girl, work it! Keep it real! Yes.
I'll see you in Malibu.
Ciao.
Ciao, Nikki Logan.
Tell Usher I said whassup? Yes! Yes! Yes! I'm goin' to Malibu I'm goin' to Malibu You are the worst actress on earth.
You're fired.
Oh, snap.
Talk to you later, Maurice.
Cory? Where are you going? Out.
Like that? It's hot out.
You know what? I'm not wearing socks.
Cory.
Shut the door.
Come here.
Ok.
Son, what are you wearing underneath that jacket? What jacket? I dont Cory.
Just remember, dad I came to you first.
The Grub Club? Subs? Burgers? Son, you working for the Grub Club? Do you realize how much business I'm losing? All my customers are going there.
Dad, I'm sorry.
I didn't realize this type of advertising would be so effective.
Well, it is.
Now go upstairs and wash that stuff off.
I wish I could.
This paint won't wear off for another week.
And besides, I signed a contract.
You know, I got to get back out there.
Well, I did teach you to honor your commitments.
Boy, was I stupid.
Zombies, look alive, all right? And remember, in order to make the honor roll, you have to catch the nerd, eat the brain! But keep it real.
And Action! Hey, guys.
Did Nikki do her scene yet? No, the zombies are still eating the chess club.
Did you show her what a fake psychic really acts like? Yeah, and she loved it.
So we're going to Malibu? Not exactly.
After she left, I had a vision that she's going to act all freaky like I did and get fired.
Well, that's going to make Malibu kind of awkward.
Chelse, forget about Malibu, ok? I sold out to be friends with a movie star, you know? And now it's going to ruin her career, and it's all my fault.
I gotta stop her.
Now, that's classic Raven.
Cut.
Cut.
Just slurp the eyeball.
Slurp it.
Sorry, no one gets on the set unless they work on the film.
Ok.
Well, I'm close, personal friends with Nikki Logan.
Well, why don't you stand over there with her other close, personal friends? Ok, we're not getting in that way.
Hey! Let's go through the school yard.
Good idea.
They fixed the hole in the fence? What kind of school is this? Free ice cream sundae bar! I most definitely got to get into show business.
Ok, people, break's over.
Everyone back on set.
Back on set! Ok, Raven, here's your chance.
Up and over.
Yeah, little problem Can't climb.
Never could.
Sure you can.
You just need a running start, you know? Get a little momentum.
Ok.
Come on.
She was right.
She can't climb.
Never could.
Please tell me I'm on the other side.
You're gonna need a boost.
Ok, put your foot in here.
Yeah, come on.
What, are you serious? Yes, I'm serious.
Come on.
All right.
Ok.
All right.
Look, y'all.
I'm climbing! I can make it.
Raven! Hold that leg.
Why you doing me like this? Hey, look, you guys! I'm climbing! I made it! I'm on top of the wo I'm ok.
I'm ok.
Except for this ice cream headache.
What is going on out here? All zombies should be on the set.
Nikki is waiting to do her big scene.
What? No.
I'm not a z Nikki? Wait.
Must must eat brains.
Must eat brains.
Must eat brains.
Hey, dad.
Well, if it isn't Mr.
Grub Club.
Look, dad, I know what I did was wrong, but hey, I want to make it right.
Well, I'm glad you realized your mistake, son.
But there's nothing we can do about it now.
Maybe there is.
My space is all booked up, but I found you another body that's guaranteed to get you some attention.
Is that aunt Sadie? Pretty cool? That's an elephant.
Yeah.
I took the money I made from the Grub Club and I rented Jumanji.
Who is an elephant? I think we established that, dad.
There's an elephant in my living room.
Yep, and we are going to park him in front of the Grub Club and start getting all your customers back.
That's great.
How did you get him in here? Getting him in was the easy part.
See, see Getting him out is what I'm worried about.
We got your aunt Sadie out.
Nikki? Nikki, Nikki.
Ok, this is the most important scene in the movie.
Ok, this is where you use your psychic vision to destroy the zombies.
Are you ready? Don't worry, Toshi.
I've done my research.
I know exactly how to play this.
Ok.
Zombies, let me hear you.
That's wonderful.
Ok, let's go, let's go, let's go.
I'm not supposed Clear the set.
Becky, clear the set.
Now, Becky.
Ok.
Great.
And, action.
I'm having a vision! This is going to be a big one.
I'm melting! I'm melting! Here's Johnny! I am your father! Wait, no! Wait, no, no! You're making the biggest mistake of your life! Cut! Stop! You are the worst actress on earth.
You're fired.
Dude, Nikki, I tried to warn you, homie.
I tried.
No, no.
She's not fired, you stupid zombie.
You are.
Hold up, now, hold up.
You can't fire me.
What? I'm not going to fire her.
She's brilliant.
So that's what I saw.
Raven? Why did you mess up my big scene? I i was trying to warn you not to act like that.
Now you're telling me how to act? How dare you! I am the greatest actress on earth.
Yeah, about that.
See, I really wanted to chill with you in Malibu, so I told you Malibu? Please.
That was so not going to happen.
The only thing scary about this movie is Nikki Logan's ridiculous performance as a psychic zombie slayer.
Say good-bye to that house in Malibu, Nikki.
You get my vote for the worst actress on earth.
Anything else you want to warn me about? Yeah.
Yeah.
Don't forget the shoulders.
I tried.
What up, zombie? How you feeling? Man, I can't find my keys.
Hey Rae What happened to you? You don't want to know.
Can't come in here like that.
You gotta rinse off first.
Rinse off? How am I going to do that? No problem.
Jumanji! Jumanji? Blow! I'm ok.