The Batman (2004) s04e04 Episode Script
The Everywhere Man
[CHATERRING INDISTINCTLY.]
Of course, it's taken me years to put together this collection.
And just as long to convince you to give us all a peek, Marlowe.
Well, you know what they say, " If you've got it, flaunt it!" [LAUGHING.]
I wonder what's gotten into John? He finally steps out of the lab and away from his experiments and suddenly it's: "Hi.
John Marlowe, alpha-male.
" I, for one, think he's much more adorable as the shy geek.
How is it the most attractive ladies always seem to gravitate to you, Bruce? Oh, no, we were just talking about these little hot dogs.
Now, Clea, I would think the curator of the Gotham Museum of Art would be much more interested in this.
Ah, yes, Emerick's Exponential Angst.
You outbid the museum for this.
It cost a fortune, but it was worth every penny.
E-MAN: And just how many pennies are we talking about? [GASPS.]
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
WOMAN 1 : Who's that? WOMAN 2: What's he doing here? Now, step aside, Marlowe, or I make your face resemble that painting.
John, please don't be foolish.
[GROANS THEN GRUNTS.]
[E-MAN LAUGHS.]
Should have listened to the lady, Johnny.
[GRUNTS.]
We've got him, Batman.
That's a broom closet.
There's no wayout? ROBIN: You checked the walls? Floor? Ceiling? And the blueprints.
There was no way out of that closet, Robin.
Maybe he was posing as one of the brooms.
[ALARM WAILING.]
[BEEPlNG.]
Silent alarm at the Gotham Museum of Art.
A second art thief or a second chance? [LAUGHING.]
The Batman.
E-MAN: Here for another glimpse at my disappearing act? Ooh, ooh, ooh, and then we want to see you saw a lady in half.
There won't be any encore performances tonight.
And what makes you so sure? Because this time it's two against one.
Piece of cake.
Numbers can be deceiving.
And so can I.
-Two of them? -So it would seem.
Split up.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
E-MAN: Oh, Batman.
[GRUNTS.]
[E-MAN LAUGHS.]
My broom theory's sounding better all the time.
I know he took the paintings off the wall but believe me commissioner, I've triple-checked.
Nothing was stolen.
Nothing's even out of place.
Master Bruce, have you been at this all night? So, any luck? I recovered a hair sample from the museum's security station where our intruder disabled the cameras.
There was a match.
BRUCE: John Marlowe.
So you're saying--? No.
I've known John for years.
He's a good man.
And has the perfect alibi.
He was saved from the villain by the Batman himself.
Unless he staged that with someone else to give him the alibi.
You gotta admit that two men would explain all that strangeness at the museum.
Well, some of it anyway.
But if you don't think he's our guy-- No.
I can't rule him out just because we're friends.
I have to hope that any further evidence we uncover will only prove his innocence.
Let's revisit the crime scenes.
There has to be something we've missed.
JOHN: Bruce, what brings you by? In all the excitement the other night I never did get a chance to admire your collection.
Come on.
We both know that's not why you're here.
JOHN: Who can resist a mystery? You wanna see the closet for yourself.
Guilty as charged.
Be my guest.
ALFRED: Readings are coming in, Master Bruce.
Interesting.
We're picking up traces of low-spectrum radioactivity in that closet.
And Master Dick seems to be finding the same radioactivity at the museum on the mysteriously re-appeared stolen paintings.
Thanks for indulging me, John.
Not a problem.
Closet aside, I do have an ulterior motive for coming here today.
-I'm worried about you.
-Really? Something's different, John.
The party, the way you tried to take on that masked thief.
Even the way you talk.
It isn't you.
What's the matter, Bruce-y? Scared of a little social competition? People change.
I apologize if I no longer fit into some comfortable role you've once defined for me.
I didn't mean to upset you.
I'm sorry.
It's fine.
The truth is, I have been a little all over the place lately.
Oh, my.
Okay, still confused.
Marlowe's company has been conducting experiments in quantum theory for the government.
Which explains why he's radioactive.
But what's the deal with him not stealing stuff? There's always an explanation.
The readings point to two radiation hot spots in the building.
I'll take this one.
You track the other.
-And be care-- -Please don't say it.
Fine.
Go.
The sign said authorized personnel only, Batman.
[GROANS THEN GRUNTS.]
So, what happens now, Marlowe? You teleport away again? [JOHN LAUGHING.]
Is that what I've been doing? No.
There's a much simpler explanation.
And it's right behind you.
[GROANS THEN GRUNTS.]
Then your quantum technology isn't behind this.
That means all you had was an accomplice in the same costume.
Getting warmer.
[LAUGHING.]
[ELEVATOR BELL RINGS.]
Going up? Ha! -Enjoying the ride? -Beats the company.
[ELEVATOR BELL RINGS.]
E-MAN: Penthouse level.
Nefarious plots, brilliant schemes, doomed heroes.
Have a nice evening.
You've been expected.
MAN: Welcome, Batman.
We've been waiting for you.
Allow me to introduce myself.
I am the Everywhere Man.
EVERYWHERE MAN: Batman's in custody.
But his partner may already be in the building.
-What's our priority? -Securing the prisoner.
-We might need more men.
-Then we'll make more.
Okay, so my broom theory was way off.
Time to bust out Batman.
EVERYWHERE MAN: It was the quantum field research, of course.
It led to the creation of the quantex.
With it, I can charge my body's quantum particles.
And replicate another me.
My energy duplicates can split at will.
But with the quantex, I can also recall them at will.
Even from a distance.
Which is how you escaped from the broom closet.
Sleight of hand, I know.
Yet effective.
Still that's only the tip of the quantex iceberg.
Please, sit down.
I'll stand.
Your device made quantum copies of the art at the museum.
Leaving me free to steal the originals for my collection.
You mean, for John Marlowe's collection.
[TOILET BOWL FLUSHES.]
[FOOTSTEPS.]
-The prisoner? -Secure inside.
ROBIN: They must have Batman in there.
Uh-oh.
[GASPS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Huh? [GRUNTS.]
ROBIN: Hold on, Batman.
Almost there.
Hmm? You're not Batman.
You're not John Marlowe.
You're just another counterfeit.
You're hot with the same quantum radiation signature we found on the copies at the museum.
And there was nothing in his past to suggest the real John Marlowe would commit these crimes.
Very good, Batman.
I was copy number one.
Sometimes it takes an upgrade to get things right.
Johnny may be a brilliant scientist, but he's also a fool.
He kept me around to be his lab partner.
But keep a duplicate around long enough and you know what you get? Free will.
Johnny and l both loved our art collection.
But he wasn't willing to do what was necessary to add to it.
I was.
Enough with the art collection! All this power and we're only stealing paintings? -Excuse me? -Who cares about art? We could use the quantex to conquer the world.
Like a bad photocopy, each duplicate is just a little darker than the last.
-Shut up! -Don't tell him to shut up.
Shut him up! Look if you can't handle things, I will.
See? Free will.
But I know how to deal with it.
And Johnny didn't? No.
He didn't.
So you got rid of him.
I never get rid of anything.
I'm a collector, Batman.
And you keep your collection close at hand.
John Marlowe's in this building, which is all I wanted to know.
[BOMB EXPLODES.]
[MEN COUGHING.]
[GROANS.]
Attention, Everywhere Men.
EVERYWHERE MAN: The Batman is loose in our building.
You know the drill.
Divide and conquer.
Fill the corridors.
Find the bat.
Exterminate it.
When all is said and done, he is but one man.
But we-- [IN UNISON.]
We are an army! EVERYWHERE MAN: Batman 's been spotted by the atrium.
All Everywhere Men to the atrium.
[CRASHING AND BATMAN GRUNTS.]
[FOOTSTEPS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[BOMB EXPLODES AND EVERYWHERE MEN COUGHING.]
[GRUNTING.]
EVERYWHERE MAN: Oh, come now, Batman.
How long do you really think you can last? It hardly matters how many of me you break.
I'll just make more.
[BOMB EXPLODING AND EVERYWHERE MEN GRUNTING.]
[EVERYWHERE MAN LAUGHING.]
And will they all smell as bad as you? [EVERYWHERE MAN GRUNTS.]
One more enemy will hardly make a difference against my army.
Yeah? But what if I'm not just one more? EVERYWHERE MAN: What are you doing with my prototype? Check out my army.
[EVERYWHERE MEN GRUNTING.]
[ROBIN SCREAMS.]
[EVERYWHERE MEN GRUNTING.]
[BATMAN GRUNTING.]
[BOMB EXPLODING AND EVERYWHERE MEN GRUNTING.]
How's it going, Batman? Better now that you're here, partners.
[EVERYWHERE MEN GRUNTING.]
Well, if it isn't old Johnny-boy.
I knew I should have eliminated you.
I always was too sentimental.
True.
You even saved the quantex prototype.
That's going to be your downfall.
There's a reason a prototype's only a prototype.
EVERYWHERE MAN: Sometimes it takes an upgrade to get things right.
-Whoa, that's not right.
JOHN: The unit's overloaded.
EVERYWHERE MAN: Oh, it's worse than that, Johnny.
Your duplicates are unstable.
One solid punch, and poof.
-Ah! -That's it.
It's dead.
We're on our own.
Suits me.
Never was much good at long division.
[GRUNTING.]
-Cool.
-You take the high road.
And you take the low road.
[EVERYWHERE MEN GRUNTING.]
[ROBIN GRUNTING.]
[EVERYWHERE MEN GRUNTING.]
[BATMAN GRUNTING.]
[ROBIN GRUNTING.]
We've just run out of reinforcements.
-Let go of me.
-Quiet, Johnny-boy.
Batman may not know it, but the battle's over.
It's only a matter of time.
Did you hear that? It's only a matter of time.
Before you're toast.
BATMAN: And before you've outlived your usefulness.
What's copy number one gonna do with so many of you? Where could he hide a few hundred Marlowes? And how could he stand the competition? When the fighting's done, he'll recall each and every one of you.
You'll all cease to exist.
What if the Batman's right? Don't listen to him.
Keep fighting.
Hey, think about it.
If we win this, we're toast.
Shut up, you traitor.
If one of us survives, we all do.
Then you won't mind if I'm the one surviving.
The quantex! As long as he has it, none of us are safe.
You're playing right into his hand.
Don't worry.
We'll protect you.
But they all look alike.
How will you know who's with you and who's against you? [JOHN LAUGHS.]
Quiet.
You want him to recall all of us.
Now that's a plan.
EVERYWHERE MAN: I'll get it.
Get the quantex.
We can't let him use it.
[GRUNTING.]
No! Stop! Don't make me do it.
[EXPLODES.]
You haven't won yet, Batman.
Two against one.
Piece of cake.
I'll create another army of Everywhere Men.
With the same result.
Then I'll recall it and start over as many times as I have to.
Eventually, you'll fall.
Will you please shut up? [GASPS.]
I thought I could help people everywhere, but all I am is Nowhere Man.
BATMAN: John, it's great of you to donate your entire collection to the museum.
JOHN: It seemed like the right thing to do after everything I've done.
But John, you didn't do anything.
Perhaps.
But part of me always wanted to be more like that other Marlowe.
Confident.
Cool.
Maybe it's a good thing that the only place I've ever been comfortable is inside my shell.
CLEA: Any room in that shell for one more? [LAUGHS.]
Johnny, you've spent too much time locked away with your art collection and science projects.
Stay out here with.
With you?
Of course, it's taken me years to put together this collection.
And just as long to convince you to give us all a peek, Marlowe.
Well, you know what they say, " If you've got it, flaunt it!" [LAUGHING.]
I wonder what's gotten into John? He finally steps out of the lab and away from his experiments and suddenly it's: "Hi.
John Marlowe, alpha-male.
" I, for one, think he's much more adorable as the shy geek.
How is it the most attractive ladies always seem to gravitate to you, Bruce? Oh, no, we were just talking about these little hot dogs.
Now, Clea, I would think the curator of the Gotham Museum of Art would be much more interested in this.
Ah, yes, Emerick's Exponential Angst.
You outbid the museum for this.
It cost a fortune, but it was worth every penny.
E-MAN: And just how many pennies are we talking about? [GASPS.]
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
WOMAN 1 : Who's that? WOMAN 2: What's he doing here? Now, step aside, Marlowe, or I make your face resemble that painting.
John, please don't be foolish.
[GROANS THEN GRUNTS.]
[E-MAN LAUGHS.]
Should have listened to the lady, Johnny.
[GRUNTS.]
We've got him, Batman.
That's a broom closet.
There's no wayout? ROBIN: You checked the walls? Floor? Ceiling? And the blueprints.
There was no way out of that closet, Robin.
Maybe he was posing as one of the brooms.
[ALARM WAILING.]
[BEEPlNG.]
Silent alarm at the Gotham Museum of Art.
A second art thief or a second chance? [LAUGHING.]
The Batman.
E-MAN: Here for another glimpse at my disappearing act? Ooh, ooh, ooh, and then we want to see you saw a lady in half.
There won't be any encore performances tonight.
And what makes you so sure? Because this time it's two against one.
Piece of cake.
Numbers can be deceiving.
And so can I.
-Two of them? -So it would seem.
Split up.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
E-MAN: Oh, Batman.
[GRUNTS.]
[E-MAN LAUGHS.]
My broom theory's sounding better all the time.
I know he took the paintings off the wall but believe me commissioner, I've triple-checked.
Nothing was stolen.
Nothing's even out of place.
Master Bruce, have you been at this all night? So, any luck? I recovered a hair sample from the museum's security station where our intruder disabled the cameras.
There was a match.
BRUCE: John Marlowe.
So you're saying--? No.
I've known John for years.
He's a good man.
And has the perfect alibi.
He was saved from the villain by the Batman himself.
Unless he staged that with someone else to give him the alibi.
You gotta admit that two men would explain all that strangeness at the museum.
Well, some of it anyway.
But if you don't think he's our guy-- No.
I can't rule him out just because we're friends.
I have to hope that any further evidence we uncover will only prove his innocence.
Let's revisit the crime scenes.
There has to be something we've missed.
JOHN: Bruce, what brings you by? In all the excitement the other night I never did get a chance to admire your collection.
Come on.
We both know that's not why you're here.
JOHN: Who can resist a mystery? You wanna see the closet for yourself.
Guilty as charged.
Be my guest.
ALFRED: Readings are coming in, Master Bruce.
Interesting.
We're picking up traces of low-spectrum radioactivity in that closet.
And Master Dick seems to be finding the same radioactivity at the museum on the mysteriously re-appeared stolen paintings.
Thanks for indulging me, John.
Not a problem.
Closet aside, I do have an ulterior motive for coming here today.
-I'm worried about you.
-Really? Something's different, John.
The party, the way you tried to take on that masked thief.
Even the way you talk.
It isn't you.
What's the matter, Bruce-y? Scared of a little social competition? People change.
I apologize if I no longer fit into some comfortable role you've once defined for me.
I didn't mean to upset you.
I'm sorry.
It's fine.
The truth is, I have been a little all over the place lately.
Oh, my.
Okay, still confused.
Marlowe's company has been conducting experiments in quantum theory for the government.
Which explains why he's radioactive.
But what's the deal with him not stealing stuff? There's always an explanation.
The readings point to two radiation hot spots in the building.
I'll take this one.
You track the other.
-And be care-- -Please don't say it.
Fine.
Go.
The sign said authorized personnel only, Batman.
[GROANS THEN GRUNTS.]
So, what happens now, Marlowe? You teleport away again? [JOHN LAUGHING.]
Is that what I've been doing? No.
There's a much simpler explanation.
And it's right behind you.
[GROANS THEN GRUNTS.]
Then your quantum technology isn't behind this.
That means all you had was an accomplice in the same costume.
Getting warmer.
[LAUGHING.]
[ELEVATOR BELL RINGS.]
Going up? Ha! -Enjoying the ride? -Beats the company.
[ELEVATOR BELL RINGS.]
E-MAN: Penthouse level.
Nefarious plots, brilliant schemes, doomed heroes.
Have a nice evening.
You've been expected.
MAN: Welcome, Batman.
We've been waiting for you.
Allow me to introduce myself.
I am the Everywhere Man.
EVERYWHERE MAN: Batman's in custody.
But his partner may already be in the building.
-What's our priority? -Securing the prisoner.
-We might need more men.
-Then we'll make more.
Okay, so my broom theory was way off.
Time to bust out Batman.
EVERYWHERE MAN: It was the quantum field research, of course.
It led to the creation of the quantex.
With it, I can charge my body's quantum particles.
And replicate another me.
My energy duplicates can split at will.
But with the quantex, I can also recall them at will.
Even from a distance.
Which is how you escaped from the broom closet.
Sleight of hand, I know.
Yet effective.
Still that's only the tip of the quantex iceberg.
Please, sit down.
I'll stand.
Your device made quantum copies of the art at the museum.
Leaving me free to steal the originals for my collection.
You mean, for John Marlowe's collection.
[TOILET BOWL FLUSHES.]
[FOOTSTEPS.]
-The prisoner? -Secure inside.
ROBIN: They must have Batman in there.
Uh-oh.
[GASPS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Huh? [GRUNTS.]
ROBIN: Hold on, Batman.
Almost there.
Hmm? You're not Batman.
You're not John Marlowe.
You're just another counterfeit.
You're hot with the same quantum radiation signature we found on the copies at the museum.
And there was nothing in his past to suggest the real John Marlowe would commit these crimes.
Very good, Batman.
I was copy number one.
Sometimes it takes an upgrade to get things right.
Johnny may be a brilliant scientist, but he's also a fool.
He kept me around to be his lab partner.
But keep a duplicate around long enough and you know what you get? Free will.
Johnny and l both loved our art collection.
But he wasn't willing to do what was necessary to add to it.
I was.
Enough with the art collection! All this power and we're only stealing paintings? -Excuse me? -Who cares about art? We could use the quantex to conquer the world.
Like a bad photocopy, each duplicate is just a little darker than the last.
-Shut up! -Don't tell him to shut up.
Shut him up! Look if you can't handle things, I will.
See? Free will.
But I know how to deal with it.
And Johnny didn't? No.
He didn't.
So you got rid of him.
I never get rid of anything.
I'm a collector, Batman.
And you keep your collection close at hand.
John Marlowe's in this building, which is all I wanted to know.
[BOMB EXPLODES.]
[MEN COUGHING.]
[GROANS.]
Attention, Everywhere Men.
EVERYWHERE MAN: The Batman is loose in our building.
You know the drill.
Divide and conquer.
Fill the corridors.
Find the bat.
Exterminate it.
When all is said and done, he is but one man.
But we-- [IN UNISON.]
We are an army! EVERYWHERE MAN: Batman 's been spotted by the atrium.
All Everywhere Men to the atrium.
[CRASHING AND BATMAN GRUNTS.]
[FOOTSTEPS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[BOMB EXPLODES AND EVERYWHERE MEN COUGHING.]
[GRUNTING.]
EVERYWHERE MAN: Oh, come now, Batman.
How long do you really think you can last? It hardly matters how many of me you break.
I'll just make more.
[BOMB EXPLODING AND EVERYWHERE MEN GRUNTING.]
[EVERYWHERE MAN LAUGHING.]
And will they all smell as bad as you? [EVERYWHERE MAN GRUNTS.]
One more enemy will hardly make a difference against my army.
Yeah? But what if I'm not just one more? EVERYWHERE MAN: What are you doing with my prototype? Check out my army.
[EVERYWHERE MEN GRUNTING.]
[ROBIN SCREAMS.]
[EVERYWHERE MEN GRUNTING.]
[BATMAN GRUNTING.]
[BOMB EXPLODING AND EVERYWHERE MEN GRUNTING.]
How's it going, Batman? Better now that you're here, partners.
[EVERYWHERE MEN GRUNTING.]
Well, if it isn't old Johnny-boy.
I knew I should have eliminated you.
I always was too sentimental.
True.
You even saved the quantex prototype.
That's going to be your downfall.
There's a reason a prototype's only a prototype.
EVERYWHERE MAN: Sometimes it takes an upgrade to get things right.
-Whoa, that's not right.
JOHN: The unit's overloaded.
EVERYWHERE MAN: Oh, it's worse than that, Johnny.
Your duplicates are unstable.
One solid punch, and poof.
-Ah! -That's it.
It's dead.
We're on our own.
Suits me.
Never was much good at long division.
[GRUNTING.]
-Cool.
-You take the high road.
And you take the low road.
[EVERYWHERE MEN GRUNTING.]
[ROBIN GRUNTING.]
[EVERYWHERE MEN GRUNTING.]
[BATMAN GRUNTING.]
[ROBIN GRUNTING.]
We've just run out of reinforcements.
-Let go of me.
-Quiet, Johnny-boy.
Batman may not know it, but the battle's over.
It's only a matter of time.
Did you hear that? It's only a matter of time.
Before you're toast.
BATMAN: And before you've outlived your usefulness.
What's copy number one gonna do with so many of you? Where could he hide a few hundred Marlowes? And how could he stand the competition? When the fighting's done, he'll recall each and every one of you.
You'll all cease to exist.
What if the Batman's right? Don't listen to him.
Keep fighting.
Hey, think about it.
If we win this, we're toast.
Shut up, you traitor.
If one of us survives, we all do.
Then you won't mind if I'm the one surviving.
The quantex! As long as he has it, none of us are safe.
You're playing right into his hand.
Don't worry.
We'll protect you.
But they all look alike.
How will you know who's with you and who's against you? [JOHN LAUGHS.]
Quiet.
You want him to recall all of us.
Now that's a plan.
EVERYWHERE MAN: I'll get it.
Get the quantex.
We can't let him use it.
[GRUNTING.]
No! Stop! Don't make me do it.
[EXPLODES.]
You haven't won yet, Batman.
Two against one.
Piece of cake.
I'll create another army of Everywhere Men.
With the same result.
Then I'll recall it and start over as many times as I have to.
Eventually, you'll fall.
Will you please shut up? [GASPS.]
I thought I could help people everywhere, but all I am is Nowhere Man.
BATMAN: John, it's great of you to donate your entire collection to the museum.
JOHN: It seemed like the right thing to do after everything I've done.
But John, you didn't do anything.
Perhaps.
But part of me always wanted to be more like that other Marlowe.
Confident.
Cool.
Maybe it's a good thing that the only place I've ever been comfortable is inside my shell.
CLEA: Any room in that shell for one more? [LAUGHS.]
Johnny, you've spent too much time locked away with your art collection and science projects.
Stay out here with.
With you?