The Madame Blanc Mysteries (2021) s04e04 Episode Script
The Blueprint
1
No. Trevor. Trevor.
Trevor! Trevor!
I'm not 100% sure about this.
Madeline is very special to me.
Yeah, so
No. No, I'm sure you will.
That's not the
No.
Yeah. Right. OK, OK.
Right. I'll leave her at the airport
with the keys on the front wheel.
Right. Second floor,
right by the lift.
Yeah, but listen, please promise me
you'll be extra careful with her, OK?
Right. No, you're welcome.
I must be going soft.
Thanks for booking
extra room on the plane.
I've got to look after your legs.
Gendarme Richard
would never forgive me.
THEY LAUGH
So, this is all for free?
A free trip to Malta?
I can't get my head round it.
Well, I've got to do a bit of work.
I've got to validate something.
Yeah, but what can be so important
to fly us all the way to Malta?
Well, there's this historical fella
called Jean de Valette,
and he won the Siege of Malta
against the Ottomans in 1565.
Now, it was a very, very bloody
'Ey, no need to swear, is there?
No, it was a very, very bloody battle,
but a massive victory for the Christians
who were getting battered
all over Europe
by the Ottomans at the time.
So much so that
all the European kings and queens
poured loads of money into Malta
to rebuild it.
That's very kind of 'em.
Well, more strategic than kind.
Anyway, this couple
we're gonna visit, Bobby and Margot,
well, they reckon they've got
the original blueprint of Valletta,
which is the capital of Malta,
drawn up by Jean de Valette himself.
And they want me to validate it.
So what's so important
about these bits of paper?
Jean de Valette died
not long after the siege,
and the rebuilding of Valletta
was taken up
by a fella called
Grand Master Pierre de Monte.
Right. So no-one knows what
Valletta should have looked like
through the eyes
of this Jean de Valette fella.
Exactly. I mean, if they're real,
this is a huge piece
in the jigsaw of European history.
Wow.
Hm.
But I'm not holding me breath.
Why?
Well I just can't see it meself.
Something this important
would have turned up by now.
And the woman is a bit, erm,
how do I put it? Eccentric.
Oh.
But it's a free holiday, in't it?
Well, not only that.
Our first holiday together.
Yeah.
Mm.
Do you remember the first time ♪
That my eyes set on you? ♪
Your smile came from nowhere ♪
For some time never
Or sometime soon ♪
The road is a long one ♪
I was only passing through ♪
I was only passing through. ♪
I hope this Mrs White
lives up to your expectations.
It wasn't cheap
bringing her from France.
Bobby, I know it's real. I just know.
Well, let's hope so.
We can find out once and for all.
TANNOY SYSTEM: 'Flight 30241'
Trevor. Trevor, you've got to be
really gentle with that clutch.
If you push it too hard,
it will just stay down.
Right? Please be careful with her.
Trevor. Tre
You lent Trevor your precious car?
That's generous.
Well, he was flying in to see Glo
anyway,
and I just thought
Madeline's sat there in the airport.
Seemed like the right thing to do,
didn't it?
Although I'm not really sure
about that now.
So, this is level minus one.
Apparently,
they're in a yellow sports car.
She said we can't miss them.
SCREAMING
Oh, my Lord. What on earth?
My wife. Please help.
It's all right, mate.
She's still with us.
No, no, don't. Don't move. Stay there.
Look, it's gonna be OK.
Dom we need to call an ambulance.
What's the emergency number in Malta?
How would I know?
You know everything.
Shall I google it?
Just go back in there and get some help.
MAN WINCES
TYRES SCREECH
Whoa! You're on the wrong side
of the road!
Oh, no, you're not. But slow down!
Don't worry.
I'll look after this for you, love.
Over here!
It's this lady here?
Yes, I'm on my way now.
'Dad, you don't have to shout.'
Well, you might not be able to hear me
with the phone being so far away.
'It don't work like that.
Never mind. What's kept you?'
Madeline. Blimey, is she hard to start.
'I'm surprised Dom let you near her.
You are very honoured.'
BANG
What the
Oh, my God!
TYRES SCREECH
GROANING
'Dad? Are you all right?
'Dad! Dad! What's happening?'
That was the police
just keeping us updated.
They're just tying up some loose ends,
and they're gonna call
to ask us some questions.
Is there any news from the hospital?
Well, Bobby's been discharged,
but Margot's still in intensive care.
They're not sure of the magnitude
of the head injuries yet,
but, well, it's not looking good
for her.
Yeah, she didn't look great, bless her.
Blimey. All this for those plans
he has in his hand.
I wonder who wanted 'em that much.
Maybe they are real after all.
Oh, I wish
I could have had a look at them.
Don't suppose that's gonna happen now.
He's got a look of Sigmund Freud,
hasn't he?
SHE LAUGHS
Yeah. Yeah, he has.
Well, he was
a very colourful character as well.
He was imprisoned by his own army
for beating up a fellow soldier.
And then he was captured
and thrown on an enemy pirate ship.
And while he was
literally chained to an oar,
he decided to learn Arabic
from his fellow slaves
to outwit the Ottomans.
- As you do.
- Yeah.
Oh, and he miraculously
had two children,
even though he had sworn
a devout Catholic vow of celibacy.
Now, that is clever.
SHE CHUCKLES
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
Hello?
Yes. OK.
Yeah, we'll meet you there.
That was the police.
They wanna meet us
in Bobby and Margot's shop. OK.
So, let me get this straight.
You heard a noise, turn round to see
what it was, saw nothing,
and when you turn back round,
a woman rolled across the bonnet?
Yes.
- Did you swap details?
- Yes.
Hey, Dad.
Come on, it's not that bad.
The woman was all right, wasn't she?
She phoned me this morning.
Well, there you go.
Said she's gonna sue me
for damages and injuries.
Don't worry about that, lovely.
Your insurance'll cover it.
Oh, Dad, you're not insured, are you?
Dad, Dom loves this car.
It's his pride and joy.
I can't believe you'd be so selfish.
I just wanted to see you.
Then you should have got a taxi.
I was only driving it from the airport.
Uninsured. How could you be so stupid?
Hang on.
I only replaced that bulb last week.
Dad, what did the noise
that distracted you sound like?
Kind of a thud. No. More of a crack.
Mr Hayes. Straight on
and down the stairs, please.
My grandma used to polish hers
until she could see her face
in the brass.
"See your face, see your strength."
Oh, hello. I'm Dom. I'm the one
who made the call yesterday.
Oh, yes. Delighted to meet you.
Thank you for coming.
Oh, no problem. This is my partner.
Business partner.
Business partner, Jean.
I just wanted to go
through the events from yesterday.
Yeah. Happy to help.
Thank you.
Can I ask why you were at the airport?
Oh, we flew in from France
because Jean was hired to validate
the stolen blueprints.
Hired by who?
By me.
Thank you, Bobby.
Do you work for a museum?
No, I'm an antiques dealer.
Oh. Very good. Continue.
Oh. So, we were told to wait at
the airport car park, which we did.
And while we were waiting,
we heard a loud scream
and saw two figures
running away from the car.
Which way did they run?
Pardon?
In which direction did they run?
Erm, it was sort of like
back towards the airport. Yeah.
Yeah. That's right, yeah.
How strange. You see, the exit
is in the opposite direction.
And can I ask,
how is the lady that was hurt?
Not great.
My darling Margot was struck
over the back of the head
by a metal wrench.
Oh, I'm so sorry. That's horrendous.
What sort of man hits a woman
over the back of her head?
Well, a man that clearly needs help.
And catching.
Exactly.
They turned on me.
I put my arm up to defend myself.
I cried out.
And that's
when you two interrupted them.
Thank you.
Bobby, was anyone else interested
in the blueprints?
Hardly anyone else knew they existed.
Margot said that
when they were validated,
they must be returned
to the Maltese people.
Too much has been pillaged from
us over our tumultuous history.
Thank you, Bobby.
Now here. My card.
Ooh, that's nice.
Oh, my great grandfather's.
He found it in the rubble
of an air raid in 1942.
Well, the Maltese people
were extremely brave in the war.
We still are.
Hiya, Patrick.
All right, my love.
'Ey, Trev, you all right?
I'm in the bad books.
Oh, dear.
I think I might be
in need of a little livener.
For medicinal purposes, of course.
Of course.
I meant to ask you, darling,
what did Patrick think about my thoughts
about adjustments to the menu?
Oh, yes. Well
I did talk to him about it and
I knew he'd love it.
Cheese fondue was THE thing to have
at a party when I was young.
It's about time
it came back into fashion.
Yes. Well, Patrick felt that
it might be a tad expensive,
what with all the new equipment
that we would require.
We'd make that back in days.
Yes. And the French are a bit fussy
about their cheese.
And if it was gonna come back,
it would have come back already.
So That's only because
no-one has had the vision, darling.
I'll talk to him.
Oh.
Chin up, old lad, it might never happen.
It already has.
Dad was involved
in a car accident yesterday.
Oh, my goodness.
Are you all right, Trevor?
A bit shaken up,
but I could do with me drink.
Well, what happened?
Well He heard a noise
at the back of the car, saw nothing,
and when he turned round,
a woman rolled across the bonnet.
Well, that happened to me
a few weeks ago. What?
Well He was driving
back from the beach club.
He heard this crack
at the back of the car,
and then when he looked round,
there was a young woman
rolling on the bonnet.
That's exactly the same.
They threatened to sue.
Same here. Hang on. They?
Yes. There were two of them,
apparently. Darling.
Anyway, we swapped numbers
and I asked
if we could settle it privately
cos I didn't want any fuss.
Then the next day, we dropped
5,000 euros off at their address.
5,000 euros?!
To make things worse,
Dad was driving without insurance.
I didn't even know you had a car,
Trevor.
He borrowed Madeline while Dom's away.
Oh, no. Dom will be devastated.
You know how attached he is to that car.
God knows why. He doesn't know yet.
Don't worry. I won't say anything.
Jeremy.
What exactly was the noise you heard?
Well, I'm not too sure.
But there was a dent in the Rolls.
God knows where that came from.
It was a scam.
What?
Crash for cash. Big business.
What do you mean?
Fraudsters stage traffic accidents.
Then they make
fraudulent insurance claims
at the expense
of innocent motorists. Oh, no.
Mind you, to be fair, yours sounded
more like a clip for cash.
How do you know so much?
Oh I spent time with a bloke
who had experience of it.
We need to speak to Caron.
I'll just have another one.
I'm parched. Dad!
Now, Patrick, I need to talk
about my ideas for the menu.
Well, I'm OK
with the sausage rolls idea,
but you've got to be joking
about the fondue.
I mean, they were vile in the '70s.
Lord knows who'd eat one now.
Oh. I didn't mean to offend.
Well, pardon me for being a visionary.
Off to powder my nose.
SPEAKS FRENCH
Caron, we need your help.
I've been scanned.
Scammed. Not scanned.
That's what I said.
- It's happened to Jeremy too.
- What has?
I had an accident in Madeline yesterday.
Why were you driving Madeline?
It's all right. I'm fully insured.
Right. Let's all calm down
and talk in my office.
Maybe we should have got him
something stronger than coffee.
Here you go.
Thank you.
I hope I'm not keeping you.
No, you're not keeping us.
Erm, I just wondered,
erm, when did you first source
the blueprints,
and what's their provenance?
Oh, the blueprints.
Bobby. I heard the news.
How's Margot?
Oh, she is stable. For now.
I was just about to explain
to Mrs White here
how the blueprints
came into our possession.
She's the antiques dealer from France
who is here to validate them.
Hello. We're Mr and Mrs Attard.
Hiya. I'm Dom.
Hi.
Mrs White was asking
about the provenance,
and I think it best you tell her.
I'm a little
Oh, of course.
My great-great-grandfather
was one of the builders
of the Victoria Gate
here in Valletta in 1884.
That's the one we just passed.
The original gate was built
by Grand Master Pierre de Monte.
He took over from Jean de Valette
when he unexpectedly died in 1568.
My great-great-grandfather,
he accidentally discovered
the blueprints
when the British rebuilt the gate
in 1884, over 300 years later.
We assume the prints were buried
under the gate
so no-one would challenge
de Monte's new vision.
Wow. That is some provenance,
if it can be proved.
My father passed away recently,
and he left them to us.
He never believed
they could be genuine,
but I am sure they are.
That's why we needed your help.
Are you absolutely sure that
no-one wanted them enough to kill?
Well, once they're validated,
there'll be many collectors
who'll want to get their hands on them.
But, like Margot,
we believe they should be returned
to the Maltese people.
Of course.
Look, I'm sorry.
We've got to get back to our restaurant.
Oh, you've got a restaurant?
I've never tried Maltese food.
Oh, well, if you get the chance,
you should try us out.
Thank you. Oh, thank you.
That's very kind. Thank you.
Keep us updated about Margot, won't you?
Absolutely. Thank you.
Are you OK?
Listen, there's something
you should know.
Margot's long term colleague, Colin,
an online dealer
had a huge row with her
about the blueprints.
Why?
He's a Jean de Valette collector
and is desperate to purchase them.
But Margot was insistent that they
be returned to the Maltese people.
Why didn't you tell this to the police?
How could I?
Margot and Colin
went to school together.
He's practically family.
Hm. Maybe I could ask
some discrete questions.
You would do that?
Well, back home in France,
I occasionally help the police
with their inquiries.
"Occasionally"?
Thank you again.
I'll just get
one of his business cards for you.
We'll be able to play snap
with all these cards. Shut it.
Oh. Thank you.
And may I just say that
discretion is my middle name?
Thank you.
Oh, erm, before I forget,
I found this near the car.
I assume it's Margot's.
Yes.
Thank you, Mrs White.
And exactly the same thing happened
to Jeremy a few weeks ago.
But he could afford to pay
the ransom. I can't.
Jeremy and Judith handed money over?
5,000 euro.
It is known as
the crash for cash scam.
That's what Patrick said.
Yes. This method is very common.
Insurance fraud is ever evolving,
and the lengths
fraudsters will go to is shocking.
Yeah, but we know who did it.
Jeremy and Judith have
the fraudster's address.
The thing is, Gloria,
unless you have rock-solid proof,
it is very hard to prove.
The law is usually always
on the side of the pedestrian.
So I'll have to pay the money?
That is up to you, Trevor.
Thanks for your help, Caron.
Come on, Dad.
Gloria, do not go taking the law
into your own hands.
These people can be very dangerous.
I can't believe this.
We're meant to be on our holiday.
May I remind you that all this is free?
I know, but
Oh, come on, Dom.
We can't let a woman get robbed,
bashed over the head,
nearly killed and do nothing about it.
Yeah, yeah. Fair enough.
And we're on our own, aren't we?
What do you mean?
Well, nobody knows us here.
And?
It means as well as helping
the police, I can do this.
Mmm. All right,
when you put it like that.
What's the plan?
Give me Colin's business card.
Thank you.
Right.
Oh, hello. My name is Jean White,
and I'm from the Museum
of the Order of St John in London.
Well, we're thinking of selling
one of our items
due to renovation costs.
It's the Valette Crystal Cross.
Would you be interested?
Ah, well, I'll take that as a yes.
Erm, I'm actually in Valletta
at the moment on a fundraising trip.
I wondered if you would like to meet up.
Great.
What about the, er, Kafe Tazza
just off the Jean de Valette square
in about an hour?
See you then. Bye.
Wow.
Was all of that just a massive lie?
Well, erm, there is
a brilliant museum in London
called the Order of St John,
and it does own
the Valette Crystal Cross,
but I doubt that they'd ever sell it.
So, yes, Dom, it was a complete lie.
Well, I liked your posh
telephone voice, though.
"I'm from the Museum
of the Order of St John in London."
I didn't sound like that.
No, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
We're all from the north of England.
We all put on a telephone voice.
Come on, let's have a look around.
We've got an hour.
Yeah.
There's nothing we can do.
Caron says we need rock-solid proof.
In flagrante delicto.
Pardon?
It's Latin for being caught in the act.
How?
Top of my head?
Stage an accident. Film them.
How will he know it's us?
Cos we're literally
the only ones here.
Mind you, that's how I always feel
when I'm with you.
Shut it!
Museum of St John?
Colin?
Hi. And you must be Jean.
Yes. And this is my partner, Dom.
Hey.
Hi.
So, erm let me start by saying
how, erm sorry I am
that you're having to sell
such rarities
from your beautiful museum.
I'm sure it must be very difficult
for you.
Well, you sell some, you keep some.
If I had the opportunity
to purchase something
that Jean de Valette himself
touched, I'd never sell it.
Oh, right.
Oh, no, I
I don't mean any disrespect by that.
I'm just I'd say I'm
I'd feel like
I would have conquered the world.
And not 10,000?
Exactly!
THEY LAUGH
I don't understand.
The Crystal Cross was a gift
to Jean de Valette
from Pope Pius V,
and the inscription was
"the one who conquers 10,000".
So I guess that's gonna cost me
a bit more than 10,000, right?
Well, I've heard
that there's something else for sale
that was touched by Jean de Valette.
The original blueprints to Valletta.
Where did you hear that?
I never reveal my sources.
Maybe we could do a deal?
Maybe we could.
Look, I'll look into it
and get back to you.
Well, that sounds perfect.
Well, then very good. Thank you.
Thank you.
Nice guy. Lovely hair.
He definitely knows more
than he's letting on.
He knows where they are.
No socks, though.
I always find that weird.
Jean.
That's the car that almost
knocked me over at the airport.
Whoa! You're on the
wrong side of the road!
Oh, my God. Call Inspector Aguis.
Are you sure this is the place?
Well, I dropped 5,000 euros off
here. I think I'd remember it.
What exactly are we doing here,
Gloria?
I don't know,
but it's just not fair.
DOG WHIMPERS
AND BARKS
Is Douglas all right in the van?
Yeah, I've left the air con on for him.
I think I might need a tinkle.
Dad, I told you to go before we left.
I think I might join you, old chap.
I've earmarked a bush down there.
Ooh. Very good.
What do you mean
you've "earmarked" a bush?
Gloria, gentlemen of a certain age
are always on the lookout
for suitable refreshment spots.
Whereas we just have to hold on,
eh, Judith?
Fortunately, my Pilates classes
have given me the bladder of a camel.
Look! There's one of them now.
And that's the other one.
Absolutely nothing wrong with her.
I've had an idea.
I think it's rather brilliant.
Let's go back to the pub.
I do need that tinkle first.
All right. Come on, old chap.
Gentlemen. Gentlemen, please.
This is a very difficult job,
and the only way to get through it
is if we all work together as a team.
Agreed.
And that means you do everything I say.
Now, I've brought Patrick in on the job,
as, technically, this was all his idea.
I'm just saying
motorbikes would be quicker.
He's right.
But you're not insured, Dad.
Remember?
We need to be as
inconspicuous as possible.
Masks.
Like in that film where they
all wear masks of ex-presidents.
Point Break.
Is that the film about snooker?
No. I think masks would be
a little conspicuous.
This is the plan. We will follow
and film them covertly.
How do we film them covertly?
We use your van.
You and me in the front. Jeremy,
Patrick and Trevor in the back.
Going by their previous shenanigans,
it seems that they always choose
the same junction.
Once we locate them,
the boys can film them in action
from the back of the van.
With a lot of patience
and a little bit of luck,
we will be able to catch them.
In flagrante delicto.
Precisely.
This might actually work.
It's brilliant, darling.
You're on fire.
No, I'm on a 72-hour detox.
I need something to do.
Right, huddle in.
What's your relationship with Margot?
Well, she's a friend. A colleague.
We've known each other for years now.
Margot and her husband Bobby
were attacked
in the airport car park last night.
What?
Oh, no.
We have an eyewitness
that identified your car
in the very same car park,
speeding away
just after they had been attacked.
This is nonsense.
I would never harm Margot or Bobby.
Why were you at the airport last night?
I'd just come back from Italy.
I was there at a trade fair.
In fact, Margot was meant to be
there with me,
but she cancelled last minute.
I can't believe she and Bobby
were attacked like that.
So, why did she cancel going with you?
Well, she said she had something
very important to attend to.
Would that be anything to do with this?
It's a blueprint.
We just found this in your car, sir.
How do you explain that?
My car? How?
Are you saying you
were not interested in it?
No.
A British dealer we are associated with
has just confirmed that you were
about to source this for her
in a trade deal.
I was just gonna try and persuade
Margot to part with it
to land on something
even more spectacular.
I don't understand what's going on.
You knew Margot was going to be
at the airport last night,
and you chose your flight home
to coincide.
I think you wanted the blueprint
so much
that you were willing to hurt
to get to it.
You're wrong!
I love her.
I wouldn't harm a hair on her head.
You were seen at the scene of the crime,
and this was found in your car.
Nonsense.
KNOCKING AT DOOR
Unfortunately,
Margot has just passed away.
I'm afraid I have no option
but to arrest you for her murder.
No.
I love her.
I love her.
All right, come with me.
I loved her!
Come on.
OK. Thank you.
That was Inspector Aguis.
Margot didn't make it.
And even though they haven't found
the murder weapon,
they're holding on to Colin
because he was
at the scene of the crime.
Bang to rights, surely?
Not quite.
They need to find the other person
that was running away
before they can nail him properly.
Imagine killing your childhood friend
over a piece of paper.
It was a very important piece of paper.
Yeah, but still.
I'm just gutted I didn't get to take
a look at those blueprints.
It's just
It's just all very heartbreaking.
Come here.
Listen, why don't I take you
for dinner later?
I've still got that card somewhere
for the Attards' restaurant.
That'd be lovely. Thanks, Dom.
You're not gonna see much wearing them.
I think you'll find I will.
KNOCKING
Any joy yet?
Jeremy, please.
We do not want to draw attention
to ourselves.
It's them. Action stations, Gloria.
Gentlemen, please.
Come on.
Oh Er Thank you.
Here comes someone now.
SHOUTING IN FRENCH
Yeah!
We did it, we did it, we did it!
Dom, I've been thinking.
Do you think it's time
we told everyone about us at home?
Can we leave it a little bit longer?
I mean, we'll never get this time back,
and I really want to tell Claudie first.
Agreed.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
I'm gonna have to take this. It's Bobby.
Hello, Bobby.
We saw everything. Crystal clear.
And I filmed it.
You were only supposed to catch
the bloody scammers out.
What did I say about being prepared?
You must have been staring at yourself.
I thought I was watching me
watching the criminals.
What?
OK, Bobby. Bye-bye. Bye.
Just Bobby saying thanks for our help.
I think he just wanted
someone to talk to, bless him.
Oh, that's nice of him.
It's lovely in here, in't it?
I didn't know you were into jewellery.
Oh, no, I'm not.
I just saw this beautiful
Oh, is this Gloria?
No, no.
This isn't Gloria. This is Jean.
I've just bought this mad necklace
for Glo's birthday next week.
She's gonna love it.
Oh, lovely.
Well, let's have a look, then.
Oh.
No, it's been gift wrapped.
It's ace, though.
I'll get your receipt.
Oh. Thank you.
It says here it should be open.
Oh, hello.
We've come to take you up on
Sorry.
You said to try the restaurant.
We thought you were open.
We are not open.
Oh, it says on the card
I said we are not open. Go home.
Erm shouldn't this be
in police custody now?
Ah, Jean.
Well, you see, the thing is
Well, this is clearly a fake.
I mean, this has been drawn
by a fountain pen.
Jean de Valette would have used a quill.
I mean, the writing's too smooth.
With a quill, you have to replenish
the ink every two to three words
and it's less of a flow.
No, this just isn't right.
Very impressive. Your reputation
as an expert precedes you.
But it's still exciting
to see you in action.
Oh. Thank you.
But why is it here?
I think you should go now.
Oh.
Oh, my Lord. That was your crystal,
Mrs Attard, that I found.
Not Margot's.
I don't believe it.
It was you two that stole the blueprint.
And that's why you weren't running
towards the exit.
Because you were running
towards Colin's car.
You killed Margot
..and then planted the fake blueprint
in Colin's car to frame him.
But why?
Oh.
It was you.
You set this whole thing up.
I'm sure we can come
to some understanding.
You see, Mrs White,
this was all perfectly orchestrated
until you and your boyfriend here
walked through that door tonight.
When I called you
earlier to say thank you,
that should have been the end of it.
But But why?
I found out my wife and Colin
had been having an affair.
And that it had been happening
for years. Years!
So I made a plan.
I created the blueprints
and their provenance.
The one you're currently holding
in your hand
didn't quite make the mark,
but the one residing in an evidence
box in the police station
was enough to convince my wife
of its authenticity.
Her and Colin were obsessed
by Jean de Valette.
So why not create a bit of fake history?
Quite believable, don't you think?
I told you
I was dubious about all this.
You did. You said that as well.
Of course the blueprints were fake.
They would have turned up by now.
It was 500 years ago.
You said that as well.
Shut up!
I arranged for you to be picked up
from the airport
at exactly the same time
that Colin landed too.
You even pointed out his car for me.
Whoa!
Thank you for that.
It saved me an anonymous phone call.
My friends gave me a scratch
to make the robbery look authentic.
And then I took control.
SHE SCREAMS
I asked you before,
what kind of man hits a woman
in the back of the head?
And I can answer that now.
An angry one, Mrs White.
A man who had his heart ripped out
from him by the woman he loved most.
I wanted her dead, and I wanted
Colin to be found guilty of it.
Your plane leaves early in the morning.
It will take a few days for
anyone to realise you're missing.
Attard.
I am many things,
but I am not a killer, Bobby.
Attard. What are you doing?
We needed the money for the restaurant.
It's the only reason we got involved.
We had no idea
he was going to kill Margot.
Shut your mouth!
Mrs White, go, call the police.
Tell them everything.
Tell them we didn't kill Margot.
Don't mess it up this time.
GROANING
Did you get all that, darlings?
Certainly did, darling.
And Caron is on his way.
Who needs enemies
when you've got mates like that, eh?
POLICE SIREN
There you go, Caron. Caught red-handed.
I don't suppose I'll see my 5K again.
But never mind. It was worth it
to see the look on their faces.
Gloria, I told you not to take
the law into your own hands.
I didn't. It was all Judith's idea.
No-one likes a grass, Gloria.
It was Patrick, actually.
Like Judith said, no-one likes a grass.
These people will be working
for an organised gang.
It could have been very dangerous.
You said we needed rock-solid proof.
Now we've got it.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
Oh.
Hiya, Dom.
Hiya, Trevor.
ALL: We got 'em!
What's going on?
'Nothing at all.'
'Hiya, Dom.'
Oh, you're there as well, are you, Glo?
Hiya.
'Me and Dad were just
out for a spin in Madeline,
'and we bumped into Jeremy and Judith.'
Is she all right?
'Yeah, she's as right as rain.'
Still all right to leave
Madeline at the airport?
'Yeah, no problem at all.
See you later.'
Is that Uncle Patrick as well?
CALL DISCONNECTS
HE SIGHS
Something's going on there.
I can feel it.
Isn't there always?
Well, very true.
Can we have a longer holiday next time?
Course we can. Come here.
Right, let's see
if we can get through departures
without any more drama.
I won't guarantee it.
I tell you what, why don't I treat
you to half a lager before we board?
Oh! Who said romance is dead, eh?
Go on, sit down.
I'll bring 'em over. All right.
TANNOY SYSTEM: Flight MZ6922
is now ready for boarding at Gate 5.
Any remaining passengers
for flight MZ6922,
please proceed to Gate 5
for your flight is now boarding.
Sub extracted from file & improved
Passing through. ♪
No. Trevor. Trevor.
Trevor! Trevor!
I'm not 100% sure about this.
Madeline is very special to me.
Yeah, so
No. No, I'm sure you will.
That's not the
No.
Yeah. Right. OK, OK.
Right. I'll leave her at the airport
with the keys on the front wheel.
Right. Second floor,
right by the lift.
Yeah, but listen, please promise me
you'll be extra careful with her, OK?
Right. No, you're welcome.
I must be going soft.
Thanks for booking
extra room on the plane.
I've got to look after your legs.
Gendarme Richard
would never forgive me.
THEY LAUGH
So, this is all for free?
A free trip to Malta?
I can't get my head round it.
Well, I've got to do a bit of work.
I've got to validate something.
Yeah, but what can be so important
to fly us all the way to Malta?
Well, there's this historical fella
called Jean de Valette,
and he won the Siege of Malta
against the Ottomans in 1565.
Now, it was a very, very bloody
'Ey, no need to swear, is there?
No, it was a very, very bloody battle,
but a massive victory for the Christians
who were getting battered
all over Europe
by the Ottomans at the time.
So much so that
all the European kings and queens
poured loads of money into Malta
to rebuild it.
That's very kind of 'em.
Well, more strategic than kind.
Anyway, this couple
we're gonna visit, Bobby and Margot,
well, they reckon they've got
the original blueprint of Valletta,
which is the capital of Malta,
drawn up by Jean de Valette himself.
And they want me to validate it.
So what's so important
about these bits of paper?
Jean de Valette died
not long after the siege,
and the rebuilding of Valletta
was taken up
by a fella called
Grand Master Pierre de Monte.
Right. So no-one knows what
Valletta should have looked like
through the eyes
of this Jean de Valette fella.
Exactly. I mean, if they're real,
this is a huge piece
in the jigsaw of European history.
Wow.
Hm.
But I'm not holding me breath.
Why?
Well I just can't see it meself.
Something this important
would have turned up by now.
And the woman is a bit, erm,
how do I put it? Eccentric.
Oh.
But it's a free holiday, in't it?
Well, not only that.
Our first holiday together.
Yeah.
Mm.
Do you remember the first time ♪
That my eyes set on you? ♪
Your smile came from nowhere ♪
For some time never
Or sometime soon ♪
The road is a long one ♪
I was only passing through ♪
I was only passing through. ♪
I hope this Mrs White
lives up to your expectations.
It wasn't cheap
bringing her from France.
Bobby, I know it's real. I just know.
Well, let's hope so.
We can find out once and for all.
TANNOY SYSTEM: 'Flight 30241'
Trevor. Trevor, you've got to be
really gentle with that clutch.
If you push it too hard,
it will just stay down.
Right? Please be careful with her.
Trevor. Tre
You lent Trevor your precious car?
That's generous.
Well, he was flying in to see Glo
anyway,
and I just thought
Madeline's sat there in the airport.
Seemed like the right thing to do,
didn't it?
Although I'm not really sure
about that now.
So, this is level minus one.
Apparently,
they're in a yellow sports car.
She said we can't miss them.
SCREAMING
Oh, my Lord. What on earth?
My wife. Please help.
It's all right, mate.
She's still with us.
No, no, don't. Don't move. Stay there.
Look, it's gonna be OK.
Dom we need to call an ambulance.
What's the emergency number in Malta?
How would I know?
You know everything.
Shall I google it?
Just go back in there and get some help.
MAN WINCES
TYRES SCREECH
Whoa! You're on the wrong side
of the road!
Oh, no, you're not. But slow down!
Don't worry.
I'll look after this for you, love.
Over here!
It's this lady here?
Yes, I'm on my way now.
'Dad, you don't have to shout.'
Well, you might not be able to hear me
with the phone being so far away.
'It don't work like that.
Never mind. What's kept you?'
Madeline. Blimey, is she hard to start.
'I'm surprised Dom let you near her.
You are very honoured.'
BANG
What the
Oh, my God!
TYRES SCREECH
GROANING
'Dad? Are you all right?
'Dad! Dad! What's happening?'
That was the police
just keeping us updated.
They're just tying up some loose ends,
and they're gonna call
to ask us some questions.
Is there any news from the hospital?
Well, Bobby's been discharged,
but Margot's still in intensive care.
They're not sure of the magnitude
of the head injuries yet,
but, well, it's not looking good
for her.
Yeah, she didn't look great, bless her.
Blimey. All this for those plans
he has in his hand.
I wonder who wanted 'em that much.
Maybe they are real after all.
Oh, I wish
I could have had a look at them.
Don't suppose that's gonna happen now.
He's got a look of Sigmund Freud,
hasn't he?
SHE LAUGHS
Yeah. Yeah, he has.
Well, he was
a very colourful character as well.
He was imprisoned by his own army
for beating up a fellow soldier.
And then he was captured
and thrown on an enemy pirate ship.
And while he was
literally chained to an oar,
he decided to learn Arabic
from his fellow slaves
to outwit the Ottomans.
- As you do.
- Yeah.
Oh, and he miraculously
had two children,
even though he had sworn
a devout Catholic vow of celibacy.
Now, that is clever.
SHE CHUCKLES
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
Hello?
Yes. OK.
Yeah, we'll meet you there.
That was the police.
They wanna meet us
in Bobby and Margot's shop. OK.
So, let me get this straight.
You heard a noise, turn round to see
what it was, saw nothing,
and when you turn back round,
a woman rolled across the bonnet?
Yes.
- Did you swap details?
- Yes.
Hey, Dad.
Come on, it's not that bad.
The woman was all right, wasn't she?
She phoned me this morning.
Well, there you go.
Said she's gonna sue me
for damages and injuries.
Don't worry about that, lovely.
Your insurance'll cover it.
Oh, Dad, you're not insured, are you?
Dad, Dom loves this car.
It's his pride and joy.
I can't believe you'd be so selfish.
I just wanted to see you.
Then you should have got a taxi.
I was only driving it from the airport.
Uninsured. How could you be so stupid?
Hang on.
I only replaced that bulb last week.
Dad, what did the noise
that distracted you sound like?
Kind of a thud. No. More of a crack.
Mr Hayes. Straight on
and down the stairs, please.
My grandma used to polish hers
until she could see her face
in the brass.
"See your face, see your strength."
Oh, hello. I'm Dom. I'm the one
who made the call yesterday.
Oh, yes. Delighted to meet you.
Thank you for coming.
Oh, no problem. This is my partner.
Business partner.
Business partner, Jean.
I just wanted to go
through the events from yesterday.
Yeah. Happy to help.
Thank you.
Can I ask why you were at the airport?
Oh, we flew in from France
because Jean was hired to validate
the stolen blueprints.
Hired by who?
By me.
Thank you, Bobby.
Do you work for a museum?
No, I'm an antiques dealer.
Oh. Very good. Continue.
Oh. So, we were told to wait at
the airport car park, which we did.
And while we were waiting,
we heard a loud scream
and saw two figures
running away from the car.
Which way did they run?
Pardon?
In which direction did they run?
Erm, it was sort of like
back towards the airport. Yeah.
Yeah. That's right, yeah.
How strange. You see, the exit
is in the opposite direction.
And can I ask,
how is the lady that was hurt?
Not great.
My darling Margot was struck
over the back of the head
by a metal wrench.
Oh, I'm so sorry. That's horrendous.
What sort of man hits a woman
over the back of her head?
Well, a man that clearly needs help.
And catching.
Exactly.
They turned on me.
I put my arm up to defend myself.
I cried out.
And that's
when you two interrupted them.
Thank you.
Bobby, was anyone else interested
in the blueprints?
Hardly anyone else knew they existed.
Margot said that
when they were validated,
they must be returned
to the Maltese people.
Too much has been pillaged from
us over our tumultuous history.
Thank you, Bobby.
Now here. My card.
Ooh, that's nice.
Oh, my great grandfather's.
He found it in the rubble
of an air raid in 1942.
Well, the Maltese people
were extremely brave in the war.
We still are.
Hiya, Patrick.
All right, my love.
'Ey, Trev, you all right?
I'm in the bad books.
Oh, dear.
I think I might be
in need of a little livener.
For medicinal purposes, of course.
Of course.
I meant to ask you, darling,
what did Patrick think about my thoughts
about adjustments to the menu?
Oh, yes. Well
I did talk to him about it and
I knew he'd love it.
Cheese fondue was THE thing to have
at a party when I was young.
It's about time
it came back into fashion.
Yes. Well, Patrick felt that
it might be a tad expensive,
what with all the new equipment
that we would require.
We'd make that back in days.
Yes. And the French are a bit fussy
about their cheese.
And if it was gonna come back,
it would have come back already.
So That's only because
no-one has had the vision, darling.
I'll talk to him.
Oh.
Chin up, old lad, it might never happen.
It already has.
Dad was involved
in a car accident yesterday.
Oh, my goodness.
Are you all right, Trevor?
A bit shaken up,
but I could do with me drink.
Well, what happened?
Well He heard a noise
at the back of the car, saw nothing,
and when he turned round,
a woman rolled across the bonnet.
Well, that happened to me
a few weeks ago. What?
Well He was driving
back from the beach club.
He heard this crack
at the back of the car,
and then when he looked round,
there was a young woman
rolling on the bonnet.
That's exactly the same.
They threatened to sue.
Same here. Hang on. They?
Yes. There were two of them,
apparently. Darling.
Anyway, we swapped numbers
and I asked
if we could settle it privately
cos I didn't want any fuss.
Then the next day, we dropped
5,000 euros off at their address.
5,000 euros?!
To make things worse,
Dad was driving without insurance.
I didn't even know you had a car,
Trevor.
He borrowed Madeline while Dom's away.
Oh, no. Dom will be devastated.
You know how attached he is to that car.
God knows why. He doesn't know yet.
Don't worry. I won't say anything.
Jeremy.
What exactly was the noise you heard?
Well, I'm not too sure.
But there was a dent in the Rolls.
God knows where that came from.
It was a scam.
What?
Crash for cash. Big business.
What do you mean?
Fraudsters stage traffic accidents.
Then they make
fraudulent insurance claims
at the expense
of innocent motorists. Oh, no.
Mind you, to be fair, yours sounded
more like a clip for cash.
How do you know so much?
Oh I spent time with a bloke
who had experience of it.
We need to speak to Caron.
I'll just have another one.
I'm parched. Dad!
Now, Patrick, I need to talk
about my ideas for the menu.
Well, I'm OK
with the sausage rolls idea,
but you've got to be joking
about the fondue.
I mean, they were vile in the '70s.
Lord knows who'd eat one now.
Oh. I didn't mean to offend.
Well, pardon me for being a visionary.
Off to powder my nose.
SPEAKS FRENCH
Caron, we need your help.
I've been scanned.
Scammed. Not scanned.
That's what I said.
- It's happened to Jeremy too.
- What has?
I had an accident in Madeline yesterday.
Why were you driving Madeline?
It's all right. I'm fully insured.
Right. Let's all calm down
and talk in my office.
Maybe we should have got him
something stronger than coffee.
Here you go.
Thank you.
I hope I'm not keeping you.
No, you're not keeping us.
Erm, I just wondered,
erm, when did you first source
the blueprints,
and what's their provenance?
Oh, the blueprints.
Bobby. I heard the news.
How's Margot?
Oh, she is stable. For now.
I was just about to explain
to Mrs White here
how the blueprints
came into our possession.
She's the antiques dealer from France
who is here to validate them.
Hello. We're Mr and Mrs Attard.
Hiya. I'm Dom.
Hi.
Mrs White was asking
about the provenance,
and I think it best you tell her.
I'm a little
Oh, of course.
My great-great-grandfather
was one of the builders
of the Victoria Gate
here in Valletta in 1884.
That's the one we just passed.
The original gate was built
by Grand Master Pierre de Monte.
He took over from Jean de Valette
when he unexpectedly died in 1568.
My great-great-grandfather,
he accidentally discovered
the blueprints
when the British rebuilt the gate
in 1884, over 300 years later.
We assume the prints were buried
under the gate
so no-one would challenge
de Monte's new vision.
Wow. That is some provenance,
if it can be proved.
My father passed away recently,
and he left them to us.
He never believed
they could be genuine,
but I am sure they are.
That's why we needed your help.
Are you absolutely sure that
no-one wanted them enough to kill?
Well, once they're validated,
there'll be many collectors
who'll want to get their hands on them.
But, like Margot,
we believe they should be returned
to the Maltese people.
Of course.
Look, I'm sorry.
We've got to get back to our restaurant.
Oh, you've got a restaurant?
I've never tried Maltese food.
Oh, well, if you get the chance,
you should try us out.
Thank you. Oh, thank you.
That's very kind. Thank you.
Keep us updated about Margot, won't you?
Absolutely. Thank you.
Are you OK?
Listen, there's something
you should know.
Margot's long term colleague, Colin,
an online dealer
had a huge row with her
about the blueprints.
Why?
He's a Jean de Valette collector
and is desperate to purchase them.
But Margot was insistent that they
be returned to the Maltese people.
Why didn't you tell this to the police?
How could I?
Margot and Colin
went to school together.
He's practically family.
Hm. Maybe I could ask
some discrete questions.
You would do that?
Well, back home in France,
I occasionally help the police
with their inquiries.
"Occasionally"?
Thank you again.
I'll just get
one of his business cards for you.
We'll be able to play snap
with all these cards. Shut it.
Oh. Thank you.
And may I just say that
discretion is my middle name?
Thank you.
Oh, erm, before I forget,
I found this near the car.
I assume it's Margot's.
Yes.
Thank you, Mrs White.
And exactly the same thing happened
to Jeremy a few weeks ago.
But he could afford to pay
the ransom. I can't.
Jeremy and Judith handed money over?
5,000 euro.
It is known as
the crash for cash scam.
That's what Patrick said.
Yes. This method is very common.
Insurance fraud is ever evolving,
and the lengths
fraudsters will go to is shocking.
Yeah, but we know who did it.
Jeremy and Judith have
the fraudster's address.
The thing is, Gloria,
unless you have rock-solid proof,
it is very hard to prove.
The law is usually always
on the side of the pedestrian.
So I'll have to pay the money?
That is up to you, Trevor.
Thanks for your help, Caron.
Come on, Dad.
Gloria, do not go taking the law
into your own hands.
These people can be very dangerous.
I can't believe this.
We're meant to be on our holiday.
May I remind you that all this is free?
I know, but
Oh, come on, Dom.
We can't let a woman get robbed,
bashed over the head,
nearly killed and do nothing about it.
Yeah, yeah. Fair enough.
And we're on our own, aren't we?
What do you mean?
Well, nobody knows us here.
And?
It means as well as helping
the police, I can do this.
Mmm. All right,
when you put it like that.
What's the plan?
Give me Colin's business card.
Thank you.
Right.
Oh, hello. My name is Jean White,
and I'm from the Museum
of the Order of St John in London.
Well, we're thinking of selling
one of our items
due to renovation costs.
It's the Valette Crystal Cross.
Would you be interested?
Ah, well, I'll take that as a yes.
Erm, I'm actually in Valletta
at the moment on a fundraising trip.
I wondered if you would like to meet up.
Great.
What about the, er, Kafe Tazza
just off the Jean de Valette square
in about an hour?
See you then. Bye.
Wow.
Was all of that just a massive lie?
Well, erm, there is
a brilliant museum in London
called the Order of St John,
and it does own
the Valette Crystal Cross,
but I doubt that they'd ever sell it.
So, yes, Dom, it was a complete lie.
Well, I liked your posh
telephone voice, though.
"I'm from the Museum
of the Order of St John in London."
I didn't sound like that.
No, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
We're all from the north of England.
We all put on a telephone voice.
Come on, let's have a look around.
We've got an hour.
Yeah.
There's nothing we can do.
Caron says we need rock-solid proof.
In flagrante delicto.
Pardon?
It's Latin for being caught in the act.
How?
Top of my head?
Stage an accident. Film them.
How will he know it's us?
Cos we're literally
the only ones here.
Mind you, that's how I always feel
when I'm with you.
Shut it!
Museum of St John?
Colin?
Hi. And you must be Jean.
Yes. And this is my partner, Dom.
Hey.
Hi.
So, erm let me start by saying
how, erm sorry I am
that you're having to sell
such rarities
from your beautiful museum.
I'm sure it must be very difficult
for you.
Well, you sell some, you keep some.
If I had the opportunity
to purchase something
that Jean de Valette himself
touched, I'd never sell it.
Oh, right.
Oh, no, I
I don't mean any disrespect by that.
I'm just I'd say I'm
I'd feel like
I would have conquered the world.
And not 10,000?
Exactly!
THEY LAUGH
I don't understand.
The Crystal Cross was a gift
to Jean de Valette
from Pope Pius V,
and the inscription was
"the one who conquers 10,000".
So I guess that's gonna cost me
a bit more than 10,000, right?
Well, I've heard
that there's something else for sale
that was touched by Jean de Valette.
The original blueprints to Valletta.
Where did you hear that?
I never reveal my sources.
Maybe we could do a deal?
Maybe we could.
Look, I'll look into it
and get back to you.
Well, that sounds perfect.
Well, then very good. Thank you.
Thank you.
Nice guy. Lovely hair.
He definitely knows more
than he's letting on.
He knows where they are.
No socks, though.
I always find that weird.
Jean.
That's the car that almost
knocked me over at the airport.
Whoa! You're on the
wrong side of the road!
Oh, my God. Call Inspector Aguis.
Are you sure this is the place?
Well, I dropped 5,000 euros off
here. I think I'd remember it.
What exactly are we doing here,
Gloria?
I don't know,
but it's just not fair.
DOG WHIMPERS
AND BARKS
Is Douglas all right in the van?
Yeah, I've left the air con on for him.
I think I might need a tinkle.
Dad, I told you to go before we left.
I think I might join you, old chap.
I've earmarked a bush down there.
Ooh. Very good.
What do you mean
you've "earmarked" a bush?
Gloria, gentlemen of a certain age
are always on the lookout
for suitable refreshment spots.
Whereas we just have to hold on,
eh, Judith?
Fortunately, my Pilates classes
have given me the bladder of a camel.
Look! There's one of them now.
And that's the other one.
Absolutely nothing wrong with her.
I've had an idea.
I think it's rather brilliant.
Let's go back to the pub.
I do need that tinkle first.
All right. Come on, old chap.
Gentlemen. Gentlemen, please.
This is a very difficult job,
and the only way to get through it
is if we all work together as a team.
Agreed.
And that means you do everything I say.
Now, I've brought Patrick in on the job,
as, technically, this was all his idea.
I'm just saying
motorbikes would be quicker.
He's right.
But you're not insured, Dad.
Remember?
We need to be as
inconspicuous as possible.
Masks.
Like in that film where they
all wear masks of ex-presidents.
Point Break.
Is that the film about snooker?
No. I think masks would be
a little conspicuous.
This is the plan. We will follow
and film them covertly.
How do we film them covertly?
We use your van.
You and me in the front. Jeremy,
Patrick and Trevor in the back.
Going by their previous shenanigans,
it seems that they always choose
the same junction.
Once we locate them,
the boys can film them in action
from the back of the van.
With a lot of patience
and a little bit of luck,
we will be able to catch them.
In flagrante delicto.
Precisely.
This might actually work.
It's brilliant, darling.
You're on fire.
No, I'm on a 72-hour detox.
I need something to do.
Right, huddle in.
What's your relationship with Margot?
Well, she's a friend. A colleague.
We've known each other for years now.
Margot and her husband Bobby
were attacked
in the airport car park last night.
What?
Oh, no.
We have an eyewitness
that identified your car
in the very same car park,
speeding away
just after they had been attacked.
This is nonsense.
I would never harm Margot or Bobby.
Why were you at the airport last night?
I'd just come back from Italy.
I was there at a trade fair.
In fact, Margot was meant to be
there with me,
but she cancelled last minute.
I can't believe she and Bobby
were attacked like that.
So, why did she cancel going with you?
Well, she said she had something
very important to attend to.
Would that be anything to do with this?
It's a blueprint.
We just found this in your car, sir.
How do you explain that?
My car? How?
Are you saying you
were not interested in it?
No.
A British dealer we are associated with
has just confirmed that you were
about to source this for her
in a trade deal.
I was just gonna try and persuade
Margot to part with it
to land on something
even more spectacular.
I don't understand what's going on.
You knew Margot was going to be
at the airport last night,
and you chose your flight home
to coincide.
I think you wanted the blueprint
so much
that you were willing to hurt
to get to it.
You're wrong!
I love her.
I wouldn't harm a hair on her head.
You were seen at the scene of the crime,
and this was found in your car.
Nonsense.
KNOCKING AT DOOR
Unfortunately,
Margot has just passed away.
I'm afraid I have no option
but to arrest you for her murder.
No.
I love her.
I love her.
All right, come with me.
I loved her!
Come on.
OK. Thank you.
That was Inspector Aguis.
Margot didn't make it.
And even though they haven't found
the murder weapon,
they're holding on to Colin
because he was
at the scene of the crime.
Bang to rights, surely?
Not quite.
They need to find the other person
that was running away
before they can nail him properly.
Imagine killing your childhood friend
over a piece of paper.
It was a very important piece of paper.
Yeah, but still.
I'm just gutted I didn't get to take
a look at those blueprints.
It's just
It's just all very heartbreaking.
Come here.
Listen, why don't I take you
for dinner later?
I've still got that card somewhere
for the Attards' restaurant.
That'd be lovely. Thanks, Dom.
You're not gonna see much wearing them.
I think you'll find I will.
KNOCKING
Any joy yet?
Jeremy, please.
We do not want to draw attention
to ourselves.
It's them. Action stations, Gloria.
Gentlemen, please.
Come on.
Oh Er Thank you.
Here comes someone now.
SHOUTING IN FRENCH
Yeah!
We did it, we did it, we did it!
Dom, I've been thinking.
Do you think it's time
we told everyone about us at home?
Can we leave it a little bit longer?
I mean, we'll never get this time back,
and I really want to tell Claudie first.
Agreed.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
I'm gonna have to take this. It's Bobby.
Hello, Bobby.
We saw everything. Crystal clear.
And I filmed it.
You were only supposed to catch
the bloody scammers out.
What did I say about being prepared?
You must have been staring at yourself.
I thought I was watching me
watching the criminals.
What?
OK, Bobby. Bye-bye. Bye.
Just Bobby saying thanks for our help.
I think he just wanted
someone to talk to, bless him.
Oh, that's nice of him.
It's lovely in here, in't it?
I didn't know you were into jewellery.
Oh, no, I'm not.
I just saw this beautiful
Oh, is this Gloria?
No, no.
This isn't Gloria. This is Jean.
I've just bought this mad necklace
for Glo's birthday next week.
She's gonna love it.
Oh, lovely.
Well, let's have a look, then.
Oh.
No, it's been gift wrapped.
It's ace, though.
I'll get your receipt.
Oh. Thank you.
It says here it should be open.
Oh, hello.
We've come to take you up on
Sorry.
You said to try the restaurant.
We thought you were open.
We are not open.
Oh, it says on the card
I said we are not open. Go home.
Erm shouldn't this be
in police custody now?
Ah, Jean.
Well, you see, the thing is
Well, this is clearly a fake.
I mean, this has been drawn
by a fountain pen.
Jean de Valette would have used a quill.
I mean, the writing's too smooth.
With a quill, you have to replenish
the ink every two to three words
and it's less of a flow.
No, this just isn't right.
Very impressive. Your reputation
as an expert precedes you.
But it's still exciting
to see you in action.
Oh. Thank you.
But why is it here?
I think you should go now.
Oh.
Oh, my Lord. That was your crystal,
Mrs Attard, that I found.
Not Margot's.
I don't believe it.
It was you two that stole the blueprint.
And that's why you weren't running
towards the exit.
Because you were running
towards Colin's car.
You killed Margot
..and then planted the fake blueprint
in Colin's car to frame him.
But why?
Oh.
It was you.
You set this whole thing up.
I'm sure we can come
to some understanding.
You see, Mrs White,
this was all perfectly orchestrated
until you and your boyfriend here
walked through that door tonight.
When I called you
earlier to say thank you,
that should have been the end of it.
But But why?
I found out my wife and Colin
had been having an affair.
And that it had been happening
for years. Years!
So I made a plan.
I created the blueprints
and their provenance.
The one you're currently holding
in your hand
didn't quite make the mark,
but the one residing in an evidence
box in the police station
was enough to convince my wife
of its authenticity.
Her and Colin were obsessed
by Jean de Valette.
So why not create a bit of fake history?
Quite believable, don't you think?
I told you
I was dubious about all this.
You did. You said that as well.
Of course the blueprints were fake.
They would have turned up by now.
It was 500 years ago.
You said that as well.
Shut up!
I arranged for you to be picked up
from the airport
at exactly the same time
that Colin landed too.
You even pointed out his car for me.
Whoa!
Thank you for that.
It saved me an anonymous phone call.
My friends gave me a scratch
to make the robbery look authentic.
And then I took control.
SHE SCREAMS
I asked you before,
what kind of man hits a woman
in the back of the head?
And I can answer that now.
An angry one, Mrs White.
A man who had his heart ripped out
from him by the woman he loved most.
I wanted her dead, and I wanted
Colin to be found guilty of it.
Your plane leaves early in the morning.
It will take a few days for
anyone to realise you're missing.
Attard.
I am many things,
but I am not a killer, Bobby.
Attard. What are you doing?
We needed the money for the restaurant.
It's the only reason we got involved.
We had no idea
he was going to kill Margot.
Shut your mouth!
Mrs White, go, call the police.
Tell them everything.
Tell them we didn't kill Margot.
Don't mess it up this time.
GROANING
Did you get all that, darlings?
Certainly did, darling.
And Caron is on his way.
Who needs enemies
when you've got mates like that, eh?
POLICE SIREN
There you go, Caron. Caught red-handed.
I don't suppose I'll see my 5K again.
But never mind. It was worth it
to see the look on their faces.
Gloria, I told you not to take
the law into your own hands.
I didn't. It was all Judith's idea.
No-one likes a grass, Gloria.
It was Patrick, actually.
Like Judith said, no-one likes a grass.
These people will be working
for an organised gang.
It could have been very dangerous.
You said we needed rock-solid proof.
Now we've got it.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
Oh.
Hiya, Dom.
Hiya, Trevor.
ALL: We got 'em!
What's going on?
'Nothing at all.'
'Hiya, Dom.'
Oh, you're there as well, are you, Glo?
Hiya.
'Me and Dad were just
out for a spin in Madeline,
'and we bumped into Jeremy and Judith.'
Is she all right?
'Yeah, she's as right as rain.'
Still all right to leave
Madeline at the airport?
'Yeah, no problem at all.
See you later.'
Is that Uncle Patrick as well?
CALL DISCONNECTS
HE SIGHS
Something's going on there.
I can feel it.
Isn't there always?
Well, very true.
Can we have a longer holiday next time?
Course we can. Come here.
Right, let's see
if we can get through departures
without any more drama.
I won't guarantee it.
I tell you what, why don't I treat
you to half a lager before we board?
Oh! Who said romance is dead, eh?
Go on, sit down.
I'll bring 'em over. All right.
TANNOY SYSTEM: Flight MZ6922
is now ready for boarding at Gate 5.
Any remaining passengers
for flight MZ6922,
please proceed to Gate 5
for your flight is now boarding.
Sub extracted from file & improved
Passing through. ♪