Young Dracula (2006) s04e04 Episode Script

SHE SNARLS You weren't followed? It's not amateur hour.
What's with all the cloak and stake stuff? - I've news from the High Council.
- They're going to accept me? If you can prove your vampiric qualities exceed those - of an average girl.
- How? You'll be set three tasks to demonstrate your ruthlessness, deviousness and most importantly your willingness to inflict pain.
Sounds fun.
What's first? I want to know whether your brother and his half-fang sidekick - are plotting to stop the blood binding.
- Of course they are.
Vlad's always been a sad romantic, he won't want to marry someone he's not in love with.
- GROWLS: Love is irrelevant! Adze must be his bride.
- Relax.
I'll find out what he's up to.
It's not just a place at the High Council at stake.
It's the future of all our kind.
HE SINGS TO HIMSELF SLURPING Hmm? I could do with a hand here.
Do I look like I was born into the serving classes? I don't think so.
Scram! SHOUTING - ONLOOKERS: - Go on, go on! Look, this "hugging a hoodie" experiment of yours is disaster.
- They've been helping myself to my cellar.
- Actually, Dad, that was me.
- You? - The blood the Slayer's Guild provided has run out.
We had to tap into your blood cellar for emergency supplies and just so we're clear, this isn't an experiment.
- SCRAP is here to stay.
- "SCRAP"? School For Coexistence, Respect And Peace.
You call this respect? - SCRATCHING - Ow! - Finish it! - Can't hack it, can you? - ONLOOKERS: - Malik, Malik, Malik! - ONLOOKERS: - Yes! Master? Master, help me.
You were supposed to rationing the blood to one glass each, - not splashing it about.
- I did, but they wouldn't listen to me.
The sooner he starts production of the soya blood, - the less we have to take from you.
- So get to it before they drain me dry.
- McCauley's been looking for you.
- Ah, then she need look KISS .
.
no further.
There had better be enough decent vintage for the blood binding.
I don't do second-best.
WHISPER: You are making slow progress, ingratiating yourself with the Draculas.
The Count just sees me as another one of the Revamp kids and Vlad's so tight with Erin I don't even get a look-in.
Erin.
Erin.
Erin.
I got a call from the police this morning.
I assure you, that break-in at the museum was nothing to do with me.
I've no knowledge of the whereabouts of the ancient Pygmy skulls.
- That's not why they called.
- Then forget everything I just said.
Crime in the area has dropped 20% since you opened your evening classes.
- Really? - These young people are taking the chance we're giving them.
Well done, Mr Count.
- Your compassion is paying off.
- One does what one can for those less fortunate than oneself.
Why don't we keep that momentum going by rewarding them with a place on the Student Senate? Empowering young people is always a good idea.
Yeah.
SHE SNEEZES Thank you.
Um, you'll let me know who you think best for the Student Senate? Of course, of course.
SHE BLOWS HER NOSE NOISILY Thank you.
- Keep it.
A gift.
- Thank you.
What about getting rid of Adze? - Then we're left with no option - we make her disappear.
- Kill her.
We kidnap her.
Lock her up and forge a note saying that she's run away because she can't face going through with the blood binding.
- Ingrid.
- No flies on you, brother.
- What do you want? - Only what you want.
- Which is? - Rid of Adze.
HE LAUGHS MOCKINGLY - It's OK, I'm onside.
- Side Ingrid? - You've got me all wrong.
- So come on, what's the plan? - There is no plan.
- Then let's think of one.
I'm sure if we put our heads together, we can outsmart her.
You really want to help? OK.
Well, the truants need rounding up.
I'd love to, but I have to prep for my next lesson.
It's not fair that those who actually want to learn suffer now, is it? VLAD CLEARS HIS THROAT We'll work it out.
You want me to spy on my own sister? If I'm going to take my rightful place on the High Council, I need to find out how they're planning to get Vlad out of the blood binding.
- Why me? - Because they don't trust my motives.
I'm hardly Erin's favourite person.
Tell her you're sorry, play the family card.
Breathers are hopelessly sentimental, she'll want to believe you.
- What's in it for me? - A share in the power.
I won't forget who helped get me onto the High Council.
- You're not serious? No breathers? - It's the guest list, not the menu.
Vlad's right.
Now that we all live in peace, we should respect each other's traditions.
- Fine.
But the invites go out tomorrow.
- We haven't set a date yet.
- The Feast of Azazelo.
- But that's only two weeks away.
- Is that a problem? - You wanted to see us? Oh, yes.
I've decided to put one of the ferals forward for the School Student Senate.
RAMANGA: Hmm? Well, they'll never take peaceful coexistence seriously if we don't empower them.
YOU don't take peaceful coexistence seriously.
How sharper than a bat's fang it is to have a thankless child.
You find a candidate - and we'll put them to the test.
- Excellent idea.
They can undertake the Trial of Gwyn Ap Noir.
THEY SOUND IMPRESSED Three nights in the Caves of Carthusia where they'll face their biggest fear and from where only one can return.
Or alternatively, we can do a quiz.
Ramanga, as representative of the High Council, perhaps you could set the questions.
Let battle commence.
- Garlic gas.
- Check.
- UV stun grenades.
- Check.
Blood trap.
- Ready? - Yeah.
- Caught this lot bunking school.
- Thanks.
Saved us a job.
- They've promised they won't be any more trouble.
- Good.
- Right, you lot, with me.
Come on.
- Come on, guys.
- How are you doing? - I'm all right.
You? I'm sorry, I've been a bit out of order recently.
Understatement of the year.
And I'm sorry I never thanked you for standing up to Ramanga.
- I heard about Vlad and Adze getting married.
- Hot gossip, is it? Are you really going to let it happen? Don't have much of a choice, do I? - Maybe they're not planning anything.
- Of course they are.
They just won't tell you unless they really think you've changed.
Which I haven't.
How do you fancy a place on the School Senate? Whoopie-doo(!) It's your chance to lead for once unless you enjoy being Malik's lapdog.
- I'm nobody's lapdog.
- So prove it.
Be your own biter.
Aah HE SLURPS AND SWILLS - I'm getting, I'm gettingaristocracy.
- Oh, yeah.
A suggestion of Moldovian, but yesa subtle aftertaste of Bavaria.
- And number two.
- Thank you.
Ah, now, this is full-bodied.
HE COUGHS - Strong! - Oh.
- A vigorous vintage, plenty of iron.
- So, which one's the soya blood? - That one.
- How did you guess? Imbecile.
Though the taste is remarkably authentic, you have saved my cellar.
RENFIELD LAUGHS Honestly, Renfield, I could - Ooh, bitey-bitey-bitey? - .
.
not do that.
- Oh.
Hi, Adze.
Do you fancy grabbing a bite to eat later? - I don't do gooseberry.
- Not with Erin, just you and me.
You were right about her being needy.
I just need some space.
Needy? You want some space? You've got it.
So how about it, dinner? No-can-do, I'm getting my fangs polished tonight.
- Erin.
- Did it work? - She's getting her fangs polished tonight.
We can snatch her then.
Ow, did you have to make it quite so convincing? Vlad? I'm putting Ryan forward for the Student Senate.
I thought the idea was to find an envoy for PEACEFUL coexistence.
And I thought you believed in giving the disenfranchised a second chance? Or is that merely sales-speak of ineffectual do-gooders? I'll find out who Bertrand has lined up for your opponent.
Extra tuition in my room in five.
We're going to win this thing.
I want to be a proper brother again.
I'm going to stop Adze marrying Vlad.
Wait.
LAUGHTER/BATS SQUEAKING Settle down, please.
COMMOTION SETTLES OK, today we are learning about Ludlow Erant.
He led the Great Crusade of the Night Eaters into Crisano.
On his return, the conquering hero was elected to the High Council.
- Didn't he kill, like, 3,000 slayers? - At least.
The streams of the Crisanian Mountains run red with slayers' blood.
But they got their revenge when a mole infiltrated the coronation and inserted garlic-tipped thorns into his crown.
If it wasn't for warriors like Ludlow Erant saving us from the slayers, vampires would've been wiped from this earth.
Except now we're supposed to just mosh together? Vampires, slayers, breathers? It doesn't mean we have to give up our identity.
It's important to know who you are and where - you come from.
- But if we're descended from warriors like him, isn't that who we are? Times are different now.
- I need your candidate for the Student Senate.
- Malik.
Right, you do know this position holds a lot of responsibility? He's a natural born leader.
If HE embraces peaceful coexistence, the others will fall into place.
Well, I suppose the others do look up to him.
Good thinking.
I've got a tank full of garlic just to knock Adze out.
But we still need to work out - how to get her from the dentist to the warehouse.
- Ah, Vladdy.
Renfield's got the first batch of soya blood ready.
I'll let the Slayer's Guild know we no longer need their supplies.
You can inform them once my cellar has been replenished.
- Right, how do I look? - Like you're seeing Miss McCauley.
Vlad? This is my candidate for the Senate, Clarissa Mountjoy.
- But you've already chosen Malik as your candidate.
- Malik? Why would I do that? He's been nothing but trouble.
- You told me to my face.
- I did not.
Transylvania, we have a problem.
Miss McCauley's invited a photographer from the local paper to cover tonight's quiz.
- Brilliant.
How do we get out of this one? - I have every faith in you.
Look, there's no way Malik Malik's your candidate.
Work with it.
I've got a class.
Revise your Transylvanian lineage while I'm gone.
- WHISPERS: - We don't want to arouse suspicions.
Play dumb and make sure you lose the quiz.
Being on the Student Senate will get me in with the Draculas.
Ryan must win.
I'll make sure he receives the questions.
Vlad draws his strength from Erin.
We can get to her through her brother.
Yes.
Ah-ha.
Yes.
GROWLING Ryan wants to help.
I've borrowed Malik's bike, if that's any use.
What do you think? We could do with an extra pair of hands getting Adze to the warehouse.
You're in.
I'll knock her out at the dentist, you and Ryan pick her up after the Senate quiz.
- You forge the note.
- Ryan? Thanks.
It's what families are for.
Now all we have two do is make sure Miss McCauley and the news reporter don't turn up to the Senate quiz.
- Task complete.
- Mmm.
What's he doing here? - Tell him.
- They're going to kidnap Adze.
HE GROWLS Ah.
Stock.
The master, he loves his broccoli soup.
Smells delicious.
- Really? - This is for the winner of the Senate quiz.
It will need a clean before we present it.
Straight away, Miss.
Oh, I Oh, yes, Professor Renfield, at your service.
Ow, ow! What was that? Renfield, come on.
It's the soy blood.
How dare you? Did you use Transylvanian pigweed? Might have done.
He'll be out for hours.
COUNT SNORES Just checking.
The reporter's arrived.
What's happened? Renfield's a genius.
I am? I am! After we've done a tour of the school, you can meet some of our new intake before we do the Senate quiz.
Everybody's really excited about having their picture in the paper.
The students just finished creating their own smoothies in Food Technology.
- Care for a taste? - Thank you, Bertrand.
- It's very unusual.
- What is it? Pomegranate, cranberry - and liquorice.
- Liquorice? - It's a bit of an acquired taste.
- It's great for detoxing.
Very relaxing.
See you in the morning.
Ryan.
For luck.
I'm going to need it.
You're giving it a go, that's the most important thing.
I'm really proud of you.
Wait, Erin! I'm proud of you, too.
This'll knock her out.
Jump up on the chair, Adze.
Let sharpen those fangs.
Adze's otherwise engaged.
To you.
If you think of trying to get out of the blood binding, you can kiss goodbye to that half-fang girlfriend of yours for good! Is it done? Is that seat taken? No.
Budge along then.
Got to keep up appearances.
We've been rumbled.
GONG SOUNDS Welcome to the Vampire Senate Challenge.
Now, the rules are simple.
The vampire with the most points when the bell's toll will be elected onto the Student Senate.
Shake.
Hmm.
Now, back to your corners and come out fighting.
Fingers on buzzers.
Your starter question, "In what year is the battle of Hunyadi Var?" - BUZZER SOUNDS - 1142.
APPLAUSE Correct.
Three bonus questions to Ryan on the date of Vampiric battles.
First, Tuthrall.
APPLAUSE Correct.
- Visanchylvat.
- 1568.
Oh! Correct.
APPLAUSE - Dyspirea.
- 733.
Mmm.
APPLAUSE Oh.
- BUZZER SOUNDS - Sarah Michelle Geller.
- BUZZER SOUNDS - Haemoglobin.
- BUZZER SOUNDS - Marcus of Elsworthy.
- BUZZER SOUNDS - School For Coexistence And Respect.
I'm going to have your guts for an Alice band.
The pig weed made it taste fruity.
"How many" GONG SOUNDS I've started so I'll finish.
"How many brothers does count Dracula have?" MURMURING Somebody's been tampering with these questions.
- BUZZER SOUNDS - Two.
Correct.
Hang on.
That's not right.
He's right, "two brothers"? "Ivan and Arta"?! Who's Arta? - Winner! Winner! Get up! Up! Up! - APPLAUSE Crown him! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE By the power invested in me by the High Council, I now crown you member of the School Senate.
Bravo.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE AARGH! Ryan?! Garlic tipped thorns.
It's murder.