Alfred Hitchcock Presents s04e05 Episode Script
The Two Million Dollar Defense
Good evening.
My name is Alfred Hitchcock.
And the program is Alfred Hitchcock Presents: In the interest of enlightening our audience, we are inaugurating a new policy for this portion of the program.
From time to time, we plan to interview important figures in various fields.
Tonight, we have with us one of the world's outstanding mathematicians.
If you will, sir.
Good evening, sir.
I shall begin the interrogation at once.
My first question concerns a matter which has no doubt been bothering members of our audience for many years.
How much is two and two? The opinions expressed by our guest are his own and in no way reflect my own views or those of my sponsor.
And now, sir, what is your favorite television story? I think he's telling us that his favorite television play is "The $2,000,000 Defense," in which case we are in for a very long time of it.
Long enough, in fact, to show you "The $2,000,000 Defense.
" But first, my sponsor wishes to put his two cents in.
Yesterday, Mr.
Ashley, occupying this same witness chair, you testified to having engaged the services of Malcolm Purdy, a private detective.
Now, am I correct? You have to speak up, Mr.
Ashley, for the excellent reason that the Court's stenographer can't record the nodding of your head.
I made that statement.
I did hire Malcolm Purdy.
Now, isn't it true that you engaged Mr.
Purdy to trace and make reports on the activities of your wife because you suspected her of infidelity? Yes.
And you concede as well that the man named in this liaisons as your wife's companion was Mr.
Thomas Ward.
The same Thomas Ward who was your investment counselor and who was in charge of your various financial holding.
I do.
I do.
You know that I do.
We've been over all this.
Well, I'm so sorry to be tiresome, Mr.
Ashley.
Referring once more to your sworn testimony of recent date, do you still admit going to Mr.
Ward's home and confronting him with a.
I do, but it was only to frighten him.
It was never my intention to kill him.
Oh, I see.
It was an accident, you say.
An accident, yes.
Instead of being frightened, he came at me.
The gun fell from my grasp and accidentally went off.
How accidentally, Mr.
Ashley? The safety was on.
I've told you this time and again.
It was never my intention to kill him.
Of course, the safety catch.
You're certain about that, aren't you? I could not be more certain.
All right, Mr.
Ashley.
That will be all.
Thank you very much.
Your witness, Mr.
Robeson.
Any questions, Mr.
Robeson? No questions.
The witness may step down.
Thank you.
The State would like to call a witness in rebuttal.
Will Mr.
John Keller please take the stand? It's not going well, Mark, is it? Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but Take it easy, Lloyd.
I do.
He's their gun expert.
He'll talk holes in any target they put in front of him.
Mr.
Keller, may I ask you how long you've served the Police Department of the City of New York as a specialist in ballistics? For 13 years and seven months.
Thank you very much.
Now, Mr.
Keller, I offer you State's Exhibit "B" and I ask you if you are able to tell this court precisely what type of weapon this is.
I can, sir.
It's a.
32-caliber Colt automatic, pretty generally referred to as a pocket model.
I see.
Thank you.
Now, this gun, Mr.
Keller, that you are holding in your hand, have you ever seen this gun before? I have.
Would you be kind enough to tell the Court under what circumstances you saw this gun? I examined this gun in the performance of my duties as ballistic expert.
The purpose of the examination was to determine whether or not this gun fired the bullet that was recovered from the body of Thomas Ward.
And what were your findings, Mr.
Keller? I found that the weapon referred to had fired the fatal bullet.
I see.
Thank you very much.
Mr.
Keller, will you be kind enough to describe to the Court and to the jury the type of test or procedure that you followed before arriving at this conclusion? Your Honor, please.
Yes, Counselor? Your Honor, I think we can dispense with this lesson in ballistics.
Defense concedes that Mr.
Ashley's gun fired the shot that killed Mr.
Ward.
Is Prosecution agreeable to this? Yes, Your Honor.
The State has no desire to prolong this trial unnecessarily.
Mr.
Keller, I'm assuming that you are familiar with the general mechanics and operation of this gun.
Am I correct in my assumption? You are, sir.
Well, then, Mr.
Keller, in your opinion as a ballistics expert, could this type of gun be discharged accidentally as Mr.
Ashley has just testified, while the safety catch was engaged? It could not.
Are you certain about that, sir? I am absolutely certain.
Thank you, Mr.
Keller.
Mr.
Keller, may I ask you then, if this gun could be discharged while the safety catch was engaged, if it were dropped accidentally or otherwise, from a height of, well, say, several feet? It could not.
If it were slammed against a hard surface, Mr.
Keller? No, sir.
Then are you willing to state that in your entire experience, handling and testing firearms, you never heard of such an accident taking place? I am willing to make such a statement.
Thank you, Mr.
Keller, that will be all.
The defense may cross-examine the witness.
If you will excuse me, Counselor, I find that it is now 4:30, and I would like to call a recess at this point.
The jury will remember my instructions, neither to discuss this case among yourselves, nor permit it to be discussed in your presence.
Court is adjourned until Mark? I'm terribly worried for him.
I know.
It's one of the unfortunate by-products of a married woman falling in love.
There are almost always casualties, Eve.
I knew he was jealous, but I never thought it would come to this.
The heart's gone out of him.
Lloyd was always so strong.
Don't blame yourself entirely.
I do blame myself.
There's Tom dead because of what I did, and now there's every chance that Lloyd may Oh, Mark, please don't let it happen to him.
I'll do my best.
I can promise you that much.
But let's not flood the courtroom with tears.
I have a proposition for you, something I know you'll like.
Yes? I guess it would be safe to say, Mark, that now with Tom Ward dead, you know more about my financial affairs than anyone else.
Not only how much I inherited, but how much I've earned.
I guess, at the moment, I'm worth at least $4 million.
Using one of your expressions, Mark, that isn't exactly cornflakes, is it? No.
No, I wouldn't say so.
I'm willing to split it with you.
Half for you and half for me.
On what condition? By whatever means necessary you wring an acquittal from that jury tomorrow.
You can do it.
You've got the imagination to bring it off.
I've seen your work before.
That isn't very flattering, Lloyd.
What isn't? Well, your assumption that I'd work harder for an old friend just because, well Just because there's that kind of money involved.
We're not saints, Mark.
Nor are we living in a society of saints.
I sometimes wonder if that apple that got stuck in Adam's throat wasn't a rolled-up $50 bill.
You could be right.
That's half of all I possess, Mark.
A two million dollar fee for an acquittal.
Would you put that in writing, Lloyd? Yes, I will right now.
I'd say that this was an exceedingly well-planned, or we might say, a happy sort of accident, Mr.
Robeson.
No arteries severed and a minimum of tissue damage.
You say the safety catch was on? Just as surely as my pants were on.
Otherwise I never would have dared to slam it on the top of that desk.
You know, I was beginning to believe that ballistics expert.
There you are.
I suppose you know as well as I do, Mr.
Robeson, that when a doctor is called to treat a gunshot wound, he's obliged to notify the police.
Naturally, doctor.
Frightful publicity.
I can see the headlines now.
But I don't suppose there's any way we can keep it out of the papers.
Doctor, do you believe me when I tell you the safety catch was on? I'm not a jury, Mr.
Robeson.
Now, Mr.
Keller, if I remember at all correctly, you testified yesterday that you fired a shot from this gun.
I did.
And your purpose was to prove that this same gun fired the shot that killed Mr.
Ward? That is correct.
Thank you, Mr.
Keller.
Am I right in assuming that you released the safety catch before you fired the shot? Naturally.
Otherwise I would still be standing in my laboratory pulling the trigger.
Mr.
Keller, the burden of responsibility would rest on us all more easily if we could lighten it with humor.
But at who's expense? Mr.
Lloyd Ashley, the same man you're attempting to send to the electric chair with your glib, smug testimony? I object, Your Honor.
I ask the counsel's last remark be stricken and the jury instructed to disregard it.
The objection is sustained and the jury so instructed.
Humorously or gravely, sir, in any mood that does not shy from objective truth, would you say that the safety catch on a gun of this type could not be accidentally joggled loose? To the best of my knowledge, I would say so.
To the best of your knowledge? Well, that's a comfort to me.
Mr.
Keller, did you ever make any tests that might legitimately confirm your strong opinions in this matter? I'm not exactly sure what you mean.
Specifically, Mr.
Keller, did you ever load this gun, State's Exhibit "B" which I'm holding in my hand, and then try dropping it on a hard, unyielding surface? Did you, sir? Well, no.
Knowing what the basis of our defense would be, you didn't take the trouble to make such a simple test? Now, please answer the question, Mr.
Keller.
No, I did not make such a test as you've described.
Why? Why did you not? Wouldn't it have seemed the obvious thing? Or were you afraid you might confirm the defendant's story? No.
That wasn't it at all.
Then why? Tell me, Mr.
Keller, or tell the Court.
Tell someone in the name of common sense, why you didn't bother to make such a simple, obvious test? I don't know.
I suppose it just never occurred to me.
How reassuring, Mr.
Keller.
How very nice.
A man is on trial for murder in the first degree.
The one life granted him by his creator is in the hands of fallible men like you and me.
And yet it never occurred to you that a simple test, such as I have outlined, might be the key to simple truth? Let the record show the witness did not answer the question.
Yesterday, Mr.
Keller, under direct examination by the District Attorney, you'd testified that a gun of this type could not be discharged by slamming it on a hard surface.
Did you not? With the safety catch on? Of course, Mr.
Keller.
Yes.
I did make such a statement.
And this morning, roughly 18 hours later, have you had any reason to alter your opinion? No.
I see.
There now, Mr.
Keller.
As an expert, sir, would you examine the safety device on State's Exhibit "B" and tell the Court if it's in the proper position to prevent firing? It is.
Would you rise, Mr.
Keller? Please.
Stand right where you are in front of the witness chair.
Now, Mr.
Keller, I'm going to ask you to prove to the Court and the jurors here assembled, that the gun in question, with its safety catch applied, cannot be discharged accidentally.
Just drop it or if you prefer, sir, cast it forcibly to the floor.
Your Honor, I protest this cheap and highly irregular bit of vaudeville which is inherently dangerous to every Did you say dangerous, Mr.
Herrick? Well, I meant Well, I must ask that such an implication be disregarded.
Irregular was the word that I intended to stress.
If that is the sole basis of your objection, Mr.
Herrick, you are overruled.
Proceed, Counselor.
Thank you, sir.
If you please, Mr.
Keller, demonstrate to the Court and the jury that State's Exhibit "B" could not possibly have been fired in the manner claimed by the defendant.
Just raise it above your head, Mr.
Keller, and blithely let it drop to the floor.
It's not a rocket to the moon, Mr.
Keller.
It won't make that much of a noise.
We're waiting.
Whenever it's convenient, Mr.
Keller, you can just let go.
Whenever it's convenient, Mr.
Keller.
We are beginning to age a little, all of us.
That will be all, Mr.
Keller.
Many thanks to you.
Oh, I had been looking forward to this all day.
Thank you so much for playing host.
I'd probably have spilled it.
Well, Lloyd, here's to the victory and all the good things friends can share.
You tired? Yeah, very tired, and very grateful, too.
I knew if anyone was gonna get me out of this mess, Mark, it was you.
When did you first feel safe? Oh, about the time you finished questioning Keller.
It was a great show, beautifully handled.
I guess it's kind of difficult to put a price tag on this kind of value received, Mark, but I want you to know that I intend to carry out my end of that bargain we made.
There's no hurry, Lloyd.
After all, it is in writing.
I know.
But, anyway, I'd like to attend to it now.
That's pretty silly of me to think I'd have a checkbook in my pocket.
After all, they don't supply those in the city jail, do they? You got a blank one? Well, at these prices, I'd be happy to crochet one for you.
As a matter of fact, there must be one somewhere there in the desk.
Try that center drawer.
Center drawer.
I can't say, Mark, that I regret this bargain in any way.
Incidentally, you may be entitled to more, but we won't know that until the accountant has a chance to check over the books.
Well, one hand or no hands.
This is a special occasion.
Calls for another drink.
Could I sweeten yours? No, no.
No, thanks.
This will do me very well.
Well, Mark, using your words, let's drink to those things that friends can share.
My money, your whiskey.
My wife.
What is this? It's a gun.
Probably the one you used for your experiment last night.
It was just resting here in the top drawer all the time.
Lloyd, you'd better be careful with that thing.
Oh, I'm being careful.
Extremely careful.
I've made sure the safety catch is off.
It's a bitter turn of events, isn't it, Mark? That now you have the one thing in the world you love most dearly, and you won't be able to spend it.
What on earth are you talking about? I never was very good at riddles.
You recall that private detective you urged me to hire two months ago, Malcolm Purdy, the same little fellow who reported Eve's quiet liaisons with Tom Ward to me? Yes.
Yes, I recall him.
What about it? Well, Mark, you're a man who enjoys a joke.
This is very amusing.
You see, in all this trouble, I never did take Mr.
Purdy off the case.
I just forgot to.
And Mr.
Purdy being a conscientious man, he kept on watching Eve all the time I was in jail.
Two days ago, he turned in his final report.
Lloyd, if you want the check back I don't think I need to mention who Eve has been seeing all this time.
And I don't think Eve was clever enough all by herself to think of using poor Tom for a decoy that has all the earmarks of one of your ideas.
No, come now.
You're just as responsible for Tom Ward's death as I am.
And if I killed the wrong man because of your cleverness, Mark, why shouldn't I kill the right one now? Lloyd, if you just listen to me One million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and thirty-eight.
One million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and thirty-nine.
So much for our story.
Unfortunately, Lloyd actually had spent all of his money on his first murder trial.
And when his trial for the shooting of Mark Robeson came along, he didn't have another $2 million for a good lawyer.
I believe that's 42 or was it one Oh, well, I give up.
I don't know how he does it without fingers.
Now, for something you can always count on, after which I'll be back.
Before our guest left, I discovered him scribbling on this blackboard.
Frankly, I don't know how long we can hold our scientific superiority over the horse.
But I think we better do something drastic, that is unless you relish the thought of suddenly finding yourselves on the wrong end of a plow, or chasing each other around race tracks while the horses do the betting.
And on this grim note, I must leave you until next week when I shall be back with another play.
Until then, good night.
My name is Alfred Hitchcock.
And the program is Alfred Hitchcock Presents: In the interest of enlightening our audience, we are inaugurating a new policy for this portion of the program.
From time to time, we plan to interview important figures in various fields.
Tonight, we have with us one of the world's outstanding mathematicians.
If you will, sir.
Good evening, sir.
I shall begin the interrogation at once.
My first question concerns a matter which has no doubt been bothering members of our audience for many years.
How much is two and two? The opinions expressed by our guest are his own and in no way reflect my own views or those of my sponsor.
And now, sir, what is your favorite television story? I think he's telling us that his favorite television play is "The $2,000,000 Defense," in which case we are in for a very long time of it.
Long enough, in fact, to show you "The $2,000,000 Defense.
" But first, my sponsor wishes to put his two cents in.
Yesterday, Mr.
Ashley, occupying this same witness chair, you testified to having engaged the services of Malcolm Purdy, a private detective.
Now, am I correct? You have to speak up, Mr.
Ashley, for the excellent reason that the Court's stenographer can't record the nodding of your head.
I made that statement.
I did hire Malcolm Purdy.
Now, isn't it true that you engaged Mr.
Purdy to trace and make reports on the activities of your wife because you suspected her of infidelity? Yes.
And you concede as well that the man named in this liaisons as your wife's companion was Mr.
Thomas Ward.
The same Thomas Ward who was your investment counselor and who was in charge of your various financial holding.
I do.
I do.
You know that I do.
We've been over all this.
Well, I'm so sorry to be tiresome, Mr.
Ashley.
Referring once more to your sworn testimony of recent date, do you still admit going to Mr.
Ward's home and confronting him with a.
I do, but it was only to frighten him.
It was never my intention to kill him.
Oh, I see.
It was an accident, you say.
An accident, yes.
Instead of being frightened, he came at me.
The gun fell from my grasp and accidentally went off.
How accidentally, Mr.
Ashley? The safety was on.
I've told you this time and again.
It was never my intention to kill him.
Of course, the safety catch.
You're certain about that, aren't you? I could not be more certain.
All right, Mr.
Ashley.
That will be all.
Thank you very much.
Your witness, Mr.
Robeson.
Any questions, Mr.
Robeson? No questions.
The witness may step down.
Thank you.
The State would like to call a witness in rebuttal.
Will Mr.
John Keller please take the stand? It's not going well, Mark, is it? Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but Take it easy, Lloyd.
I do.
He's their gun expert.
He'll talk holes in any target they put in front of him.
Mr.
Keller, may I ask you how long you've served the Police Department of the City of New York as a specialist in ballistics? For 13 years and seven months.
Thank you very much.
Now, Mr.
Keller, I offer you State's Exhibit "B" and I ask you if you are able to tell this court precisely what type of weapon this is.
I can, sir.
It's a.
32-caliber Colt automatic, pretty generally referred to as a pocket model.
I see.
Thank you.
Now, this gun, Mr.
Keller, that you are holding in your hand, have you ever seen this gun before? I have.
Would you be kind enough to tell the Court under what circumstances you saw this gun? I examined this gun in the performance of my duties as ballistic expert.
The purpose of the examination was to determine whether or not this gun fired the bullet that was recovered from the body of Thomas Ward.
And what were your findings, Mr.
Keller? I found that the weapon referred to had fired the fatal bullet.
I see.
Thank you very much.
Mr.
Keller, will you be kind enough to describe to the Court and to the jury the type of test or procedure that you followed before arriving at this conclusion? Your Honor, please.
Yes, Counselor? Your Honor, I think we can dispense with this lesson in ballistics.
Defense concedes that Mr.
Ashley's gun fired the shot that killed Mr.
Ward.
Is Prosecution agreeable to this? Yes, Your Honor.
The State has no desire to prolong this trial unnecessarily.
Mr.
Keller, I'm assuming that you are familiar with the general mechanics and operation of this gun.
Am I correct in my assumption? You are, sir.
Well, then, Mr.
Keller, in your opinion as a ballistics expert, could this type of gun be discharged accidentally as Mr.
Ashley has just testified, while the safety catch was engaged? It could not.
Are you certain about that, sir? I am absolutely certain.
Thank you, Mr.
Keller.
Mr.
Keller, may I ask you then, if this gun could be discharged while the safety catch was engaged, if it were dropped accidentally or otherwise, from a height of, well, say, several feet? It could not.
If it were slammed against a hard surface, Mr.
Keller? No, sir.
Then are you willing to state that in your entire experience, handling and testing firearms, you never heard of such an accident taking place? I am willing to make such a statement.
Thank you, Mr.
Keller, that will be all.
The defense may cross-examine the witness.
If you will excuse me, Counselor, I find that it is now 4:30, and I would like to call a recess at this point.
The jury will remember my instructions, neither to discuss this case among yourselves, nor permit it to be discussed in your presence.
Court is adjourned until Mark? I'm terribly worried for him.
I know.
It's one of the unfortunate by-products of a married woman falling in love.
There are almost always casualties, Eve.
I knew he was jealous, but I never thought it would come to this.
The heart's gone out of him.
Lloyd was always so strong.
Don't blame yourself entirely.
I do blame myself.
There's Tom dead because of what I did, and now there's every chance that Lloyd may Oh, Mark, please don't let it happen to him.
I'll do my best.
I can promise you that much.
But let's not flood the courtroom with tears.
I have a proposition for you, something I know you'll like.
Yes? I guess it would be safe to say, Mark, that now with Tom Ward dead, you know more about my financial affairs than anyone else.
Not only how much I inherited, but how much I've earned.
I guess, at the moment, I'm worth at least $4 million.
Using one of your expressions, Mark, that isn't exactly cornflakes, is it? No.
No, I wouldn't say so.
I'm willing to split it with you.
Half for you and half for me.
On what condition? By whatever means necessary you wring an acquittal from that jury tomorrow.
You can do it.
You've got the imagination to bring it off.
I've seen your work before.
That isn't very flattering, Lloyd.
What isn't? Well, your assumption that I'd work harder for an old friend just because, well Just because there's that kind of money involved.
We're not saints, Mark.
Nor are we living in a society of saints.
I sometimes wonder if that apple that got stuck in Adam's throat wasn't a rolled-up $50 bill.
You could be right.
That's half of all I possess, Mark.
A two million dollar fee for an acquittal.
Would you put that in writing, Lloyd? Yes, I will right now.
I'd say that this was an exceedingly well-planned, or we might say, a happy sort of accident, Mr.
Robeson.
No arteries severed and a minimum of tissue damage.
You say the safety catch was on? Just as surely as my pants were on.
Otherwise I never would have dared to slam it on the top of that desk.
You know, I was beginning to believe that ballistics expert.
There you are.
I suppose you know as well as I do, Mr.
Robeson, that when a doctor is called to treat a gunshot wound, he's obliged to notify the police.
Naturally, doctor.
Frightful publicity.
I can see the headlines now.
But I don't suppose there's any way we can keep it out of the papers.
Doctor, do you believe me when I tell you the safety catch was on? I'm not a jury, Mr.
Robeson.
Now, Mr.
Keller, if I remember at all correctly, you testified yesterday that you fired a shot from this gun.
I did.
And your purpose was to prove that this same gun fired the shot that killed Mr.
Ward? That is correct.
Thank you, Mr.
Keller.
Am I right in assuming that you released the safety catch before you fired the shot? Naturally.
Otherwise I would still be standing in my laboratory pulling the trigger.
Mr.
Keller, the burden of responsibility would rest on us all more easily if we could lighten it with humor.
But at who's expense? Mr.
Lloyd Ashley, the same man you're attempting to send to the electric chair with your glib, smug testimony? I object, Your Honor.
I ask the counsel's last remark be stricken and the jury instructed to disregard it.
The objection is sustained and the jury so instructed.
Humorously or gravely, sir, in any mood that does not shy from objective truth, would you say that the safety catch on a gun of this type could not be accidentally joggled loose? To the best of my knowledge, I would say so.
To the best of your knowledge? Well, that's a comfort to me.
Mr.
Keller, did you ever make any tests that might legitimately confirm your strong opinions in this matter? I'm not exactly sure what you mean.
Specifically, Mr.
Keller, did you ever load this gun, State's Exhibit "B" which I'm holding in my hand, and then try dropping it on a hard, unyielding surface? Did you, sir? Well, no.
Knowing what the basis of our defense would be, you didn't take the trouble to make such a simple test? Now, please answer the question, Mr.
Keller.
No, I did not make such a test as you've described.
Why? Why did you not? Wouldn't it have seemed the obvious thing? Or were you afraid you might confirm the defendant's story? No.
That wasn't it at all.
Then why? Tell me, Mr.
Keller, or tell the Court.
Tell someone in the name of common sense, why you didn't bother to make such a simple, obvious test? I don't know.
I suppose it just never occurred to me.
How reassuring, Mr.
Keller.
How very nice.
A man is on trial for murder in the first degree.
The one life granted him by his creator is in the hands of fallible men like you and me.
And yet it never occurred to you that a simple test, such as I have outlined, might be the key to simple truth? Let the record show the witness did not answer the question.
Yesterday, Mr.
Keller, under direct examination by the District Attorney, you'd testified that a gun of this type could not be discharged by slamming it on a hard surface.
Did you not? With the safety catch on? Of course, Mr.
Keller.
Yes.
I did make such a statement.
And this morning, roughly 18 hours later, have you had any reason to alter your opinion? No.
I see.
There now, Mr.
Keller.
As an expert, sir, would you examine the safety device on State's Exhibit "B" and tell the Court if it's in the proper position to prevent firing? It is.
Would you rise, Mr.
Keller? Please.
Stand right where you are in front of the witness chair.
Now, Mr.
Keller, I'm going to ask you to prove to the Court and the jurors here assembled, that the gun in question, with its safety catch applied, cannot be discharged accidentally.
Just drop it or if you prefer, sir, cast it forcibly to the floor.
Your Honor, I protest this cheap and highly irregular bit of vaudeville which is inherently dangerous to every Did you say dangerous, Mr.
Herrick? Well, I meant Well, I must ask that such an implication be disregarded.
Irregular was the word that I intended to stress.
If that is the sole basis of your objection, Mr.
Herrick, you are overruled.
Proceed, Counselor.
Thank you, sir.
If you please, Mr.
Keller, demonstrate to the Court and the jury that State's Exhibit "B" could not possibly have been fired in the manner claimed by the defendant.
Just raise it above your head, Mr.
Keller, and blithely let it drop to the floor.
It's not a rocket to the moon, Mr.
Keller.
It won't make that much of a noise.
We're waiting.
Whenever it's convenient, Mr.
Keller, you can just let go.
Whenever it's convenient, Mr.
Keller.
We are beginning to age a little, all of us.
That will be all, Mr.
Keller.
Many thanks to you.
Oh, I had been looking forward to this all day.
Thank you so much for playing host.
I'd probably have spilled it.
Well, Lloyd, here's to the victory and all the good things friends can share.
You tired? Yeah, very tired, and very grateful, too.
I knew if anyone was gonna get me out of this mess, Mark, it was you.
When did you first feel safe? Oh, about the time you finished questioning Keller.
It was a great show, beautifully handled.
I guess it's kind of difficult to put a price tag on this kind of value received, Mark, but I want you to know that I intend to carry out my end of that bargain we made.
There's no hurry, Lloyd.
After all, it is in writing.
I know.
But, anyway, I'd like to attend to it now.
That's pretty silly of me to think I'd have a checkbook in my pocket.
After all, they don't supply those in the city jail, do they? You got a blank one? Well, at these prices, I'd be happy to crochet one for you.
As a matter of fact, there must be one somewhere there in the desk.
Try that center drawer.
Center drawer.
I can't say, Mark, that I regret this bargain in any way.
Incidentally, you may be entitled to more, but we won't know that until the accountant has a chance to check over the books.
Well, one hand or no hands.
This is a special occasion.
Calls for another drink.
Could I sweeten yours? No, no.
No, thanks.
This will do me very well.
Well, Mark, using your words, let's drink to those things that friends can share.
My money, your whiskey.
My wife.
What is this? It's a gun.
Probably the one you used for your experiment last night.
It was just resting here in the top drawer all the time.
Lloyd, you'd better be careful with that thing.
Oh, I'm being careful.
Extremely careful.
I've made sure the safety catch is off.
It's a bitter turn of events, isn't it, Mark? That now you have the one thing in the world you love most dearly, and you won't be able to spend it.
What on earth are you talking about? I never was very good at riddles.
You recall that private detective you urged me to hire two months ago, Malcolm Purdy, the same little fellow who reported Eve's quiet liaisons with Tom Ward to me? Yes.
Yes, I recall him.
What about it? Well, Mark, you're a man who enjoys a joke.
This is very amusing.
You see, in all this trouble, I never did take Mr.
Purdy off the case.
I just forgot to.
And Mr.
Purdy being a conscientious man, he kept on watching Eve all the time I was in jail.
Two days ago, he turned in his final report.
Lloyd, if you want the check back I don't think I need to mention who Eve has been seeing all this time.
And I don't think Eve was clever enough all by herself to think of using poor Tom for a decoy that has all the earmarks of one of your ideas.
No, come now.
You're just as responsible for Tom Ward's death as I am.
And if I killed the wrong man because of your cleverness, Mark, why shouldn't I kill the right one now? Lloyd, if you just listen to me One million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and thirty-eight.
One million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and thirty-nine.
So much for our story.
Unfortunately, Lloyd actually had spent all of his money on his first murder trial.
And when his trial for the shooting of Mark Robeson came along, he didn't have another $2 million for a good lawyer.
I believe that's 42 or was it one Oh, well, I give up.
I don't know how he does it without fingers.
Now, for something you can always count on, after which I'll be back.
Before our guest left, I discovered him scribbling on this blackboard.
Frankly, I don't know how long we can hold our scientific superiority over the horse.
But I think we better do something drastic, that is unless you relish the thought of suddenly finding yourselves on the wrong end of a plow, or chasing each other around race tracks while the horses do the betting.
And on this grim note, I must leave you until next week when I shall be back with another play.
Until then, good night.