Bob Hearts Abishola (2019) s04e05 Episode Script

1
Previously on Bob Hearts Abishola
How do you break through
to an executive position?
Oh, it's simple.
I had to be willing to
do whatever it takes.
Do whatever it takes, okay.
Morning, boss.
Hi.
Really, Jared?
- You told them I coerced you?
- You said
to do whatever it takes.
Not to me, to other people.
What are you doing here?
Oh, I just had a free afternoon.
You know, for the rest of my life.
- Are you drunk?
- Don't worry.
I Ubered.
I may be a sexual predator,
but I am not irresponsible.
Boop.
What are you talking about?
I was terminated
for having inappropriate
sexual relations
with a "subordinant."
No
You'll get through this.
- Doesn't feel like it.
- You will.
And I'll be with you
every step of the way.
I love you, Mom.
I love you, too, sweetie.
So, did you use protection
or am I gonna finally
get that grandbaby?
- Hello.
- Hey, honey.
How did things go at the hospital today?
It was good.
Only two people died.
Your good days and mine are different.
Dele and I had a fun day.
What kind of fun day?
I took him for a haircut,
then I played Xbox
while he did homework.
I guess I had a fun day.
- E kaale, Mum.
- Kaale.
What's with the hat?
Show your mom your new haircut.
She just got home.
I don't want to bother her.
What did you do?
I got to say, it's pretty fly.
You know,
that's the same look everyone gave me
when I said it at the barber shop.
Dele. Let me see this fly haircut.
What is this?
Apparently, they're called twists.
I don't care what they are called.
You know better.
Take them out.
I don't want to.
Excuse me?
I like them and I want to keep them.
I did not ask you what you liked.
This is my house. Take them out.
No.
Have you lost your mind?!
All right,
let's everybody chill out for a second.
You, go and chill yourself.
Who do you think you are talking to?
Okay, you're overreacting.
Two other kids at the
barber shop were getting
the exact same cut.
Did these two other children
have foolish stepfathers?
It's a haircut.
Not a face tattoo.
I can't even look at you anymore.
Go to your room.
Hang on, let's just take a minute.
There's no problem so big
that we can't talk about.
Maybe there is. Dele, go to your room.
Dele's phone, his mother is speaking.
Damn, you took the boy's phone?
No, he will not be studying
with you tonight, Steven.
Erase this number.
Very smart.
"Studying" could be code
for robbing a liquor store.
I should have dragged
him to the bathroom
and combed out his hair myself.
Instead, you let him win,
and now Dele will never
respect your authority again.
He's just pushing the limits.
And it's gonna happen more and more.
Especially now that
he knows you have gone soft.
Mm-mmm. I sent him to his room
and I took away all his video games.
- Does he still have a bed?
- Yes.
Soft.
I think he's been punished
enough for getting a haircut.
Mm-mmm. Dele knows when people
see him with his hair like that,
they will make assumptions.
It'll keep him from
getting into a good school
or getting a decent job.
Eh. That is not entirely true.
He could play a criminal on CSI.
Are you kidding me?
A hairstyle makes the boy a criminal?
I did not make the rules.
No, white people did.
But just because they're the "rules,"
does that mean we have to play by 'em?
I think so.
You think so?
Soft.
- Oh, my God.
- What?
Everyone on Facebook
found out about me and Jared.
They're calling me the Toesey Hoesey.
Oh, big deal.
You know what we called
sleeping with a coworker
when I was your age?
- What?
- Sex.
It wasn't even that good.
It's like going to prison
for stealing a Honda Civic.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Mama's gonna fix everything.
It's gonna be okay.
Nothing will ever be okay again.
That's the same thing you said
junior year of high school
when you didn't get cast in Oklahoma!
I practiced so hard.
I know you did, sweetheart.
But that night we ate
an entire pound cake and sang
"People Will Say We're in Love."
And you felt better, didn't you?
I did.
But look at me now.
- I'm a total mess.
- All I see
is my beautiful little girl
with a rat's nest on her head.
- That's nice, right?
- Mm-hmm.
Your sighs ♪
Are so like mine ♪
Your eyes ♪
Mustn't glow like mine ♪
People will say ♪
We're in love. ♪
Okay, maybe just let mama sing.
Okay, the router's connected,
the Wi-Fi should be up.
Ah. Hold on. I will Google a question.
Success.
Brad Pitt is five, 11.
Tunde, it looks as if the
dog is driving the car.
That's so funny.
Thank you, Bob.
All right, you guys have a fun night.
Would you like to stay for dinner?
Or perhaps until Dele
graduates from high school?
You guys hear everything
that goes on in our house?
You live with Abishola's mother.
So, yes.
Here is a picture of you
sleeping on the couch.
I'm not wrong in how I
handled Dele's haircut.
If you're going to insist
on having opinions,
I suggest you buy an air mattress.
I get that I don't have
the life experience
to deal with raising a young Black man,
but I do know some stuff
that could be helpful.
What stuff?
Well, off the top of my head,
I know a haircut
is a way of expressing a
person's individuality,
and that should be encouraged.
All right, what's for dinner?
Hey.
I went ahead and booked us a spot
for the trade show in Chicago.
Wonderful. Who should we send?
- I was thinking Christina.
- Wait.
Christina does not work here.
- I know. I'm gonna throw her a lifeline.
- Wait.
You cannot make a decision
like that on your own.
You got a problem with
me helping my daughter?
Oh, no, I love nepotism.
One day, this building will
be filled with Olayiwolas.
Well, then what's the big deal?
According to the company bylaws,
the addition of any executive salaries
must go through the board of directors.
- You read the company bylaws?
- Yes.
It is the MaxDot Magna Carta.
Look, when you run a business,
you don't always do
everything by the book.
Then why write the book?
Because the lawyers said we had to.
Let me give you an example.
Let's say you run a factory
and the wiring isn't up to code.
Is our wiring not up to code?
Don't interrupt.
Now, you know the compliance officer
who's inspecting your factory
is a real big football fan.
Would you spend
half a million dollars
rewiring your factory
or a couple of grand on
Lions season tickets?
Bringing the factory up to code
is a better long-term decision.
It's like you're so
smart it makes you dumb.
Come in.
You got a minute?
I've got a month.
I just want to be clear about something.
You knew your mom was gonna go nuclear
when she saw your hair.
- I did.
- And you didn't think
to give me a heads-up?
I was standing there clueless.
I used the word "fly."
She's not mad at you. She's mad at me.
Did you not see me on
the couch last night?
But I don't care about that.
If I had known, I could have helped.
How?
I don't know.
Tell her you're quitting
school to join the circus.
She freaks out, I say, "Just kidding,"
then you take your hat off
and suddenly your hair's not so bad.
That's a terrible plan.
Is it? We'll never know.
I'm just saying,
I got your back if you let me.
It's good to know.
Okay, I hear the front door,
which means your mother's home,
so I'm gonna go.
This conversation never happened.
I know it feels strange to be back,
but it'll all work out.
I'll see to it.
Thanks, Mom.
You don't have to thank me.
We were roommates, remember?
I wish I was in there now.
Don't make it weird, honey.
And you wait right here.
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
Try not to sleep with any
employees while I'm gone.
- Mom!
- We have to be able
to make a joke about it, Christina.
No we don't.
Bobby, it's good to see
you back in the building.
MaxDot CEO in the house.
Kofo, question for you.
You ever think about doing your hair up
in those little twists?
Are you trying to get me killed?
Enough of the chitchat.
Yes, Mr. Olayiwola.
We have called the board
together to discuss
the addition of an employee
at the executive level.
You mean my desperate sister.
In order to maintain objectivity,
I suggest we only refer to
this person as the applicant.
The desperate applicant.
Bobby, can you believe
this guy read the bylaws?
We have bylaws?
All right, let's do your precious vote.
I'll start with yes.
- Boys, raise your hands.
- The voting comes
after the discussion stage.
Oh, for crying out loud.
Does anyone have
thoughts on this matter?
I'm just wondering,
Christina's in kind of a
fragile mental state right now.
Is coming back here really best for her?
Good question. Yes. Hands up.
We cannot legally discuss
a person's mental state
while considering them for a job.
There you go, Bobby.
You can't talk about how crazy she is.
I don't know how I
feel about this either.
Oh, shut up.
It's not fair.
I've been working my ass off,
and she gets to bail
on the family company
and come back and be my boss again?
Boo-hoo. Life ain't fair.
Douglas makes a good point.
This decision could
impact employee morale.
Not to mention her morale.
Maybe she's better off
taking some time to figure things out.
Oh, go sit in your boat.
Let us try to stay on track.
- I would like to say something.
- Yes, Kofo, go ahead.
If Christina comes
back and takes my job,
I will sue every member of this board.
Yeah, it didn't work out.
Smells great, buddy.
Ah-ah.
What are you doing out of your room?
Uh, that's on me. I thought Dele
making dinner for the family
would be a nice way to apologize.
If he wanted to apologize,
he would not be standing
here looking like
Snoop Doggy.
Go to your room.
I told you.
Come on, dinner's gonna be ready in,
like, five minutes.
Then in five minutes he
will eat in his room.
Don't you think there's a
better way to handle this?
You are right. We will shave his head.
What? That's crazy.
Is it? Abishola,
do you remember when you came home
with all those terrible ear piercings?
- Yes, Mummy.
- And what did I do?
You destroyed my jewelry
and kept me in the house
until all the holes closed up.
And you never did it again, did you?
- No, Mummy.
- Mm.
Didn't you guys have a rough
patch where you didn't speak?
It was six years.
Well, is that the relationship
you want for you and your son?
- Yes, it is.
- Excuse me, I'm talking to my wife.
Oluwa mi o!
Bob stood up to Ebun.
I'll make up the couch for him.
I want to talk to you.
I want to talk to you, too.
You've told me how to dress
and how to look my entire life.
I'm 15.
I want to make my own choices.
Are those clippers?
This is how your granny suggested
I deal with your haircut.
Did did you like her suggestion?
I prefer to handle things differently.
Sit down.
I want to tell you a story.
- Does it have a happy ending?
- Shh!
When I was your age,
I also defied my mother.
You did?
One night,
I climbed out of my bedroom window
and went to a nightclub on
the other side of the city.
Granny must have been really mad.
She never found out.
And you will never tell her.
Yes, Mum.
While I was there,
someone stole my bag with all my money.
I was so frightened of the
way my mother would react,
I could not call her for help.
Instead, I took a ride from a stranger
so I could get home before she woke up.
So, you got away with it.
That is not the point.
I put myself in danger
because I was so afraid of my mother.
I never want you to
feel that way about me.
Don't worry. I'm not afraid of you.
Be a little bit afraid.
Yes, Mum.
Here is your phone.
Come and join us for dinner.
Thank you.
I did it.
I won.
Why are all my contacts deleted?
Last piece of business.
I have decided to send Douglas and Kofo
to the Chicago trade show.
Thank you for your trust, Mr. Olayiwola.
Yeah, we won't let you down.
Remember, these shows are about
creating relationships. Taking
new clients out to dinner
and winning them over with that
MaxDot hospitality.
That used to mean cocaine and hookers.
Thanks, Mom. Big help.
They called your father the Snowman.
Okay, enough.
All right, meeting adjourned.
Just one more piece of business.
Hey, it's the Toesey Hoesey.
Yes, it is. And yes, I know I messed up.
First, by leaving this company.
Then, by succumbing to
my base animal instincts.
Oh, just say sex.
I can call it whatever I want.
But should one mistake define
a person's entire life?
Or should it serve as an opportunity
for personal growth?
I believe it was Jesus of Nazareth
who said,"Let he
who is without sin
cast the first stone."
Tell the truth.
I'm looking pretty good right now.
Christina, what do you want?
What any human being wants:
a chance.
A chance at redemption,
at rebirth.
Kofo, Goodwin,
you guys came to this country
for a chance.
It's the central promise of this nation.
I pledge allegiance to the flag
A-All right, pipe down, Betsy Ross.
What do you think?
Well, we do need a new janitor.
I move we make Christina
the warehouse janitor.
Oh, I second it!
All in favor?
- Aye.
- Aye. - Aye.
No, no, no, no aye! No aye.
- Meeting adjourned.
- Welcome back.
Where's your Jesus now, sis?
Your sighs ♪
Are so like mine ♪
Your eyes ♪
Shouldn't glow like mine ♪
People will say ♪
We're in love ♪
Still can't sing.