Drop Dead Diva s04e05 Episode Script

See that aspiring model there? That was me, Deb, until the day I died.
I thought I'd go straight to Heaven, but there was a bit of a mix-up and I woke up in someone else's body.
So now I'm Jane, a super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe, And the only people who really know what's going on with me are my girlfriend Stacy and my guardian angel, Luke.
I used to think everything happened for a reason and, well, I sure hope I was right.
Oh, I've got the check.
- Oh, let me get it this time.
- I've got it.
- Let me get it this time! - I've got -- I don't want you to think I take you for granted.
I am 50 frequent-flyer points away from a weekend at the Ojai Valley spa, which means Hot stone massage and cactus oil.
Thank you so much for breakfast.
You're very welcome.
Now, between that kiss and this ice tea, I better reapply my lip gloss.
- Owen, look.
- What? There are two bodyguards by the restroom.
In L.
A.
, that can only mean one thing.
There is a celebrity going potty.
Well, if it's Paris Hilton, she's probably calling the paparazzi and begging them to get here.
- Oh, my god.
You do listen to me.
- Are you kidding? Because of you, I know the difference between "Idol," "The Voice," and "The 'X' factor" kind of.
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
Excuse me.
Are you okay? Whoever you arecan I -- can I get you something? Are those guards still outside? Uh, yes.
Yeah.
T-they're your bodyguards, right? They don't work for me.
You should leave.
No.
I'm not leaving until I know you're okay.
I'm JaneBingum.
You know, I'm a very good listener.
What's your name? Leela Penjore.
Leela? Hi.
I'm here on a goodwill tour with the prince of Bhutan.
Tomorrow we are to return home, and we are to marry.
Oh, s-so you're gonna be a princess? Yes, but the prince already has two wives.
I don't want to marry him, Ms.
Bingum.
And those guards, they're here because they know.
They know I'd run away if I could.
Well, Leela, you are in luck.
I'm a lawyer.
And my boyfriend, who is right outside, is a judge.
I am texting him right now.
If you don't want to marry this prince, then we will help you.
Half-caf soy latte.
Thank you.
How'd you know I was here? I bribed Teri with a chocolate-raspberry scone.
So, are you avoiding me? Depends -- you still mad at me? I know I made a pretty bad call on my last case.
Oh, lucky for you, I'm too busy being dad.
Right.
How's Eric? I was not prepared for so many questions.
"Why do bats hang upside down?" "Do people with bigger heads have bigger brains?" - Do they? - No.
Oh, and my favorite -- "If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?" I'm pretty sure that last one was a joke.
Yeah, I wasn't sure, so I just gave him a cookie.
Who is L.
A.
U.
S.
D.
? Los Angeles unified school district? Eric's school.
Jay Parker.
Really? Now? Uh, okay.
Thanks.
Eric needs to be picked up at school.
Apparently, there's been some sort of incident.
- Really? - Yeah.
Well, let's go.
Excuse me.
Ma'am? Ma'am? Any comment on the accusations against your child's teacher? Please step off school property.
I'm gonna be giving a press conference on this later today.
Principal Bennett, I'm Eric Shayne's father, Jay Parker.
- What's going on? - I assure you, Mr.
Hillman was placed on leave just as soon as his misconduct was brought to my attention.
What misconduct? You need to pick up your son in the auditorium.
It's just around the corner.
They're saying that Mr.
Hillman -- that he acted in an adult movie.
- Did she just say -- - Porn, Kim.
She said my son's teacher is working in porn.
I'm sorry, sir.
You cannot come in here.
It's a ladies' room.
For the last time, step away from the door now.
- No.
- Gentlemen.
Gentlemen, I'm judge French of the L.
A.
Superior court.
I'm issuing an emergency writ barring you from taking the woman in that bathroom into your custody.
The police are on their way.
We are on a diplomatic mission.
We have immunity.
Yeah, that really only works with parking tickets, okay? Now, either you leave, or I'll issue a warrant for your arrest.
- On what grounds? - Let's start with kidnapping.
If you refuse to return Leela Penjore to our custody, you will be causing a major international incident.
I've done worse.
You were fantastic.
I totally agree.
Leela, the guards are gone.
I made two calls.
Thank you.
Thank you so very much.
We're gonna file an application for asylum on your behalf.
The prince will fight you.
And he won't give up easily.
Oh, yeah? Well, neither will I.
So, I have been interviewing Leela for her asylum application.
Turns out the prince is only marrying her to produce a male heir.
The whole thing is so sad.
Yeah, I did a little research.
Leela accepted the prince's proposal.
It's not a forced marriage.
That depends on your definition of "forced.
" Leela was a government accountant, And, on a Monday, the prince toured her office.
On Tuesday, he asked her to dinner.
The next morning, the news reported that they were engaged.
Then, after the news broke, he proposed.
So she was backed into it.
Her family was honored with gifts, and everything in her apartment was relocated to the royal palace before he actually proposed.
- Poor girl.
- Yeah.
- Where is she now? - Mm, at the pakery.
Stacy said she could hang out there.
All right.
You know what? For now, just keep her out of sight.
Let me ask you something.
Do you think I have a chance arguing that her upcoming marriage is a human-rights violation? If you ask me, all marriages are a violation of human rights.
Okay.
Wait, what? I mean, it's an archaic tradition.
"till death do us part"? Get real.
But I do think it's your best shot for asylum.
You just -- you got to hope for a sympathetic judge.
Yeah.
Umthank you for your honesty.
So every media outlet is doing a "sexpose" on Eric's teacher.
Apparently, he and his wife made videos that could be downloaded on a website for $1.
99.
- Sounds like a bargain.
- Yeah, well, here's the thing.
It feels like a bit of a witch hunt.
I mean, they stopped making those videos two years before he ever started teaching.
Dad, what's porn? What? I just heard on TV that's why Mr.
Hillman got fired.
Can I use your computer to google the word "Porn"? Mm, umyou know This would be a teachable moment? Yes.
Sit down, buddy.
Porniswhen two, uh, grownupsmake a movie just for adults.
Oh, like "Bridesmaids.
" Mom wouldn't let me watch that.
Yeah.
Like that.
But you can help him get his job back.
I mean, you're a lawyer.
You help people, right? You know what, Eric? Your dad and I are gonna go talk to Mr.
Hillman, and we're gonna see what we can do.
Yes! So, this delicious dessert item -- It's half pie, half cake? Mm-hmm.
That's right.
It's called a pake, and I invented it.
In my country, there is nothing like it.
But, then again, we just got orange Fanta, so Hey, Leela, I wanted to ask you something.
This morning at the cafe, there was a guy, very handsome, possibly from your country Umhis name is Hari.
Is he your lover? Stace.
It's -- it's okay.
Umwe grew up together, and he was my first crush.
He moved to the States five years ago to study journalism.
He heard about my trip to America and asked to meet me at the cafe And when you saw him? My heart raced.
I never got that feeling from the prince.
Seeing Hari made me realize I cannot marry a man I don't love Even if he is the prince.
On behalf of the State Department, we demand to speak with the attorney of record for Leela Penjore.
Hmm.
Teri, where's your boss? Maybe last call at Neiman's.
Who can resist 90% off? I can issue a warrant for your arrest.
In that case, she's right over there.
- Ms.
Bingum? - Yes.
Where's Leela Penjore? Maybe last call at Neiman's? Who can resist 90% off? Your lack of cooperation may have global ramifications.
Oh, wow.
Well, someone's being a drama queen.
Who is this guy? Apparently Bhutan is beginning to harvest hydro-electric power, and they have the choice to sell it to either India or China.
We need the Bhutanese to choose our friends in India.
We've been pressuring them to do so.
Your stunt puts that in jeopardy.
Well, I trust our elected officials can handle this matter without forcing a 20-year-old woman into a loveless marriage.
Well, the State Department has just pulled Leela's visa.
- What?! - Now she's here illegally and subject to immediate deportation.
Well, I can arrange an emergency hearing to stay that deportation.
Thank you, Mr.
Kent.
Look, I'm not a jerk.
I admire your commitment to this young woman.
But this is a fight you cannot win.
I appreciate the sentiment.
But for the sake of this woman, and women everywhere, this is a fight we cannot lose.
Where's Leela? Jane wanted me to pick her up for court.
Ah.
She's in the back, taking a nap.
Escaping from an evil prince is exhausting.
Ooh, customers! Welcome to the pakery.
What can I get you? Is this where Darren Criss hangs out? We heard it on "TMZ.
" No.
That's Carrie's cupcakes.
Thanks.
Told you! I can't believe it.
That's like the fifth time today! Stacy, never let anyone out of here without dropping a bunch of cash.
They didn't want my pakes.
Please.
My parents owned a dry cleaner.
People would come in for directions and leave with no pants.
Hmm, if only there was a way I could force a celebrity to eat my pake.
Hmm.
Watch and learn.
Tweeting.
"O-M-G! Taylor Lautner spotted munching out - at the pakery on La Brea.
" - No, no, no.
"Hashtag pakelover.
" There.
See? A celebrity just ate your pake.
Y-you can't.
You -- you have to untweet that.
I-I run my business with integrity.
"Integrity.
" That's like another word for "bankruptcy.
" Just say, "Thank you, Teri," And go get me Leela.
Thank you, Teri.
Eric, my colleague's son, speaks very highly of you.
Oh, yeah, he's a great kid.
He's extremely logical.
His math skills -- two years ahead of his grade.
Just like his dad.
We know it was a mistake to make those movies, but at the time we really didn't have much of a choice.
We were both out of work.
My mother was ill.
We couldn't afford rent and her medical bills.
So you turned to each other and thought, "Why not give porn a shot?" A buddy of mine told me about a website that paid couples to send in sex tapes.
Look, we're not proud of what we did, but it helped us get back on our feet.
So, how did the school find out? Elliot Shifley's a news producer.
His daughter's in my class.
When I didn't cast her as Lucy in "You're a good man, Charlie Brown," The guy came after me, said I would regret it.
So, you think he exposed your past to get even? I don't know.
I don't care.
I just want my job back.
I'm appealing the termination, but it could take more than a year for the board to render a decision.
Well, the L.
A.
U.
S.
D.
is like any big bureaucracy.
You can't speed them up.
You can't steamroll them.
But you can go around them.
Forget the hearing.
What if we file a temporary restraining order prohibiting the principal from suspending him? That would be great.
Yeah.
Well, uh, we'll walk you out.
Your honor, deportation would force my client into a polygamous marriage, violating her human rights.
So, we urge you to grant asylum.
The U.
N.
doesn't even recognize polygamy as a human-rights violation.
If you are going to argue human-rights violation, then under the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, it better be on the list.
And that list is limited to torture, religious persecution, rape, human trafficking.
While not on the list, forced marriage is consistent with the reg's intent.
In fact, Amnesty International will be submitting an amicus brief which says just that.
And when would I be able to read that brief, counselor? You've bought yourself another day.
When did you get in touch with Amnesty International? I'm e-mailing them right now.
- What?! - Hari! How did it go? Well, it isn't over.
It was so scary.
Leela Penjore? Federal marshal.
You're under arrest.
- Turn around and place your hands behind your back.
- No, no, Sir, step aside.
Step -- - Uh, excuse me, Mr.
Federal marshal.
- Jane? I am Ms.
Penjore's lawyer, and I demand to know what the hell -- The Bhutanese government has lodged a criminal arrest warrant directly with the Secretary of State.
- On what charges? - Sedition.
What?! That's ridiculous.
- She's being sent back to Bhutan for trial.
- Jane? Uh, Grayson, you go with Leela.
I'll file an emergency appeal and get this before a federal magistrate.
It won't do you any good.
In your country, sedition is defined as "Undermining authority by word, deed, or act.
" Once I get back to Bhutan, I will never get a fair trial.
Well, Jane is, uh, trying to intercept the federal warrant.
You don't sound optimistic.
If anyone can do it, it's her.
You like Jane.
Of course.
Everyone likes Jane.
No, not the same way you do.
There's a connection there -- romantically.
I-I'm sorry.
It's none of my business.
She has a boyfriend, so In my country, there's an expression -- "Great love and great achievements involve great risk.
" You're arguing "irreparable harm.
" Explain that to me.
While Mr.
Hillman is on leave, his students have been absorbed into other classrooms, increasing the average class size.
There is a proven correlation between larger classes and lower test scores.
If you grant a trial, you open the floodgates to nationwide litigation.
Agreed.
Unless you have a constitutional argument, I can't help you.
Fine, uh, then we argue that L.
A.
U.
S.
D.
's admin process violates our client's rights to due process.
Nice try, but, no.
Your honor last year, Veterans for Common Sense v.
Shineski held that delay in processing Veterans' claims violates their due process rights.
That case was about veterans seeking health benefits, not a teacher accused of wrongdoing.
Agreed.
Well, the principle is the same.
And if your honor disagrees, then we will appeal.
Threatening the judge.
Bold move.
Okay.
How about we expedite a trial, Ms.
Kaswell? That would be great.
See you this afternoon.
Sorry.
Taylor Lautner left an hour ago.
With a red velvet pake he calls "the werewolf pake.
" Oh.
I will have a werewolf pake then.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Well, I guess my work here is done.
No.
No, no, no.
I was thinking maybe you could tweet again.
I mean, did I see Jon Hamm earlier today? Um, I think you can take it from here.
But you're so good with Come on.
Well, if you want my help, I'm gonna need something from you.
A makeover.
No problem.
We'll start with your hair, and we'll work our way down.
No, I don't need a makeover.
I want a title.
Like "your ladyship"? No, like, um, "President of marketing.
" I've always been an assistant with aspirations of grandeur.
- What will it cost me? - Nothing.
I know you're maxed out right now, So how about you just give me complete creative control over all marketing.
And when I book you on "Ellen," I get to go on the show with you.
Not without that makeover.
Deal.
Your honor, Leela is being improperly extradited.
Her alleged sedition was committed in the United States.
Under the uniform rule of International Law, criminal cases are not transient.
Jurisdiction lays with Bhutan, and Bhutanese trials must be conducted on Bhutanese soil.
International Law also provides a change in venue in case of unfair burden.
For that reason, I request that the trial be moved to the piece of Bhutanese soil that exists at 4282 Wilshire Boulevard.
Ms.
Bingum, Bhutanese soil in the middle of Beverly Hills? The Bhutanese consulate.
Your honor, we all know that this case is not about sedition.
It is about a bratty prince who wants his way.
Please, please, give Leela a fighting chance.
And you realize Bhutanese law would apply here? I understand.
Then, I order the trial to commence in Bhutan, Beverly Hills.
Mr.
Hillman, if you could read the note.
"Dear Greg, thank you for a wonderful year.
You are an outstanding addition to West Oak Elementary.
" Who wrote that letter? The principal.
Uh, I also have a stack of thank-you notes and letters from grateful parents that I'd like to introduce into evidence.
Objection -- No one's questioning his skills as a teacher.
Agreed.
The jury will disregard.
Anything else? Uh, not at this time.
Mr.
Hillman, I would like to play a short clip from a home movie.
And I need to warn the jury, the content is quite racy.
Objection! I need Mr.
Hillman to authenticate he is the adult film actor in the movie.
We've already stipulated to the facts.
To show the movie would serve no other purpose than to prejudice the jury.
You know what? She's right.
So, in order to save Mr.
Hillman any further prejudice, I'm withdrawing my request to play the dirty movie.
Instead, I'll simply ask the jury to close their eyes and use your imaginations.
- What's up? Hey.
- Oh, I'm trying to master the Bhutanese legal system.
Don't take this wrong, ButI don't think you can win this.
Because the state department is against me? Well, don't worry because I've handled worse.
You're at a disadvantage because you're not Bhutanese.
Forget the law.
You know, you don't know their customs.
Like, for example, did you know if you point your feet at someone it's considered an insult? I did not know that.
But I will be careful where I put my toes.
And say you actually win.
Do you know who hears the appeal? The king.
Prince's daddy.
Do you want me to give up? I'm just saying -- I'm just saying, as much as I love you, I just don't accept your point of view on this.
Like I do not accept your point of view on marriage.
What? You called it an archaic institution.
My parents had an awful marriage.
And I used to think it was just them, But most of my married friends are divorced, And the others seem miserable.
WellI mean, I've never liked your friends.
I just think marriage is a deeply flawed institution that's designed to fail.
See, I think marriage is the deepest commitment two people can make.
A couple can make that commitment without having a government contract.
But without that contract, it is too easy to walk away when there are problems.
So, a couple should stay together because a piece of paper tells them to? You don't stay together because of a piece of paper.
You stay together because you made a commitment.
And when things get hard, Owen, Yeah, it is that piece of paper that reminds you of why you got together in the first place, you know? It's -- it is.
It's that "Happily ever after" that everybody wants.
How can't you see that? Jane, let me ask you something.
When you were a little girl, Did you dream about being a princess? Yes.
A lot of little girls do.
You wanted a fairy godmother and a carriage with white horses? Yeah, the whole shebang.
Ask Leela what she thinks about marrying a prince.
See, t-there's fantasy and then there's reality.
Leela's being force into marriage.
You know what, Owen? Don't worry.
'cause no one's gonna force you to marry anybody.
No, no -- whoa.
That's not fair.
I really need to get back to work.
Okay, so, thank you for stopping by.
Good night.
Good night.
Good morning.
How'd you sleep? I didn't.
B.
T.
J.
Bacon, tomato, jam? Bhutanese trial jitters.
Well, their law is mostly oral tradition, Sowhen all else fails, do what you do best.
What -- what's that? Play to the magistrate's emotions.
- Right.
- Like all of us, our client deserves to get married to someone she loves, And that's not the prince.
Do you really believe that? True love and marriage? Of course I do.
Don't you? Absolutely.
Whatcha doing? You startled me.
You're spying on my boss and you're jumpy.
What gives? What's going on with those two? Jane and Grayson? She pined after him for, like, ever.
And soon as she gets serious with Owen, he is all over her like Madonna and botox.
But men just want what they can't have.
And, by the way, Luke, I am totally not available.
That's not gonna happen.
Thank you.
- Parker.
- Good morning.
- How's Eric? - Keeps asking about his teacher.
I've been thinking.
The judge is clearly biased against our client.
So, what if we can use those videos to our advantage? You know what's on those videos, right? No one at that school even knew those videos existed until one angry dad dug them up.
New strategy -- Angry dad subjected the school to pornography, Not our client.
Judge won't like that.
Judge won't be in the jury room.
Jury nullification? Worth a shot.
I'm on it.
President of marketing.
May I help you? Teri? - I mean, um, Kim Kaswell's office.
- Where are you? At my desk.
No, you're not.
That's 'cause I'm in the copy room.
- Well, what are you copying? - My boobs.
What can I do for you, Kim? Go subpoena the customer records from the website that sold Hillman's videos.
No problem.
And then cross-check those customer records with the names of the parents at West Oak Elementary.
You got it.
Miss Penjore, you may take the stand.
Ms.
Bingum, you may approach the accused.
Leela, did you publicly speak ill against your country? No.
I -- I would never do that.
My country is beautiful.
And did you ever intend to embarrass the prince or the royal family? Absolutely not.
My allegiance is to them.
Your witness.
You hid from the prince's guards in a public toilet? Yes, but -- - Does that sound honorable to you? - Uh, objection.
Just for the record, it was a very clean bathroom at a top-rated restaurant.
You could practically eat off the floor.
Not that she did.
Okay.
Please, identify the man in this photo.
That is Hari Gazmer.
Are you aware that Mr.
Gazmer is a well-known critic Of Bhutanese policy and author of seditious papers? That's not true.
He's a student.
He writes about Bhutan's ecosystem.
Did you tell the prince, your fiance? about your secret meeting with Mr.
Gazmer? No, but it's not like -- No more questions.
A concerned parent alerted me to the videos.
Principal Bennett, was it the same concerned parent whose daughter wasn't cast as Lucy in Charlie Brown? Objection! Relevance? Your honor, but for this vendetta, we wouldn't be here.
I mean, an unwatched porn video is like an erect tree falling in the forest.
Objection sustained.
Philosophical sophistry notwithstanding.
Ms.
Kaswell, I suggest you find another line of questioning.
Uh, one moment, please.
I got the info you wanted.
Yeah, well, thanks, but the judge just shut me down.
Well, what if I said it wasn't a parent who first found the video.
Then I would say, "Thank you, Teri.
" Principal Bennett, on the 10th of February, four months before you suspended Mr.
Hillman, did you stream his porn videos on your computer? I-I, um -- I watched the videos because I had heard a rumor.
Oh, well, then I'm confused because if the students were in immediate danger, as you alleged, then why didn't you fire him immediately? I mean, you waited four months.
- Objection.
- Sustained.
Isn't it true that you only fired him now because of the pressures put upon you by a disgruntled parent? Objection! Your honor, - principal Bennett's not on trial here.
- Agreed.
- Ms.
Kaswell.
- Oh, come on, your honor! My line of questioning goes right to the heart of this case.
If the children were not in any danger -- I said, "Sustained.
" - And I say, "B.
S.
" - Excuse me? My co-counsel has been trying this case with one hand tied behind her back because of your agenda.
This is a jury trial, and these people are entitled to hear a properly argued case.
One more word, and you're in contempt.
Then we rest our case.
Good.
And we're ready for our closing argument.
We'll adjourn till then.
What did you just do? The less that jury hears from that judge, the better.
You're right.
It's time they hear from me.
Your majesty, when did you propose to Leela Penjore? November 12th.
I remember it well.
This is the International Ledger Review from November 11th announcing your engagement.
What is your question? You sent out a press release announcing your engagement prior to popping the question.
Doesn't that seem strange? Ms.
Bingum, may I remind you, if you offend our monarchy, I can hold you in contempt.
Your majesty, what is the purpose of your trip to the United States? To promote our magnificent country at a crucial time in U.
S.
-Bhutan relations.
And did Leela know the purpose of the trip? Of course.
She agreed to it.
Agreeing to participate in a goodwill tour? Is that the behavior of a seditious woman? Now, we contend that hiding in a bathroom may bedishonorable, but it is not seditious.
That Leela volunteered to join you on a goodwill tour, that's -- that's proof that she is a patriotic woman -- The opposite of seditious.
Isn't that true? - I misspoke before.
- I'm sorry? Leela did not want to come with me.
She did not want to come to America.
He's lying.
He's lying.
Prince Kencho, I'll ask the question again.
The question has been asked and answered.
And this trial has drawn to a close.
- No, but, see, he -- - Enough.
On the charge of seditious acts against the royal kingdom of Bhutan, I find Leela Penjore guilty.
She is to be taken into custody and deported immediately.
Come in.
Judge Sanders, I really need your help.
They're deporting Leela.
The -- the trial was a sham.
I'm sorry to hear it, but what did you expect? I expected to be heard, that -- that justice would prevail, - but -- - You were naive.
Your honor, you have to do something.
Come in.
Judge.
Hey.
What are you doing here? Helping you save Leela.
And I'll tell you the same thing I told Ms.
Bingum.
I can't help you.
- Don't underestimate yourself.
- Excuse me? This is the transcript from Leela's trial.
Please read the highlighted part from the prince.
"Leela did not want to come with me.
She did not want to come to America.
" Jane, under the universal declaration of human rights, the four recognized human-rights violations are? Torture, religious persecution, rape, and human trafficking.
Your honor, according to the prince, Leela did not want to come to America.
Hence, if he forced her to come, by definition, he is admitting to human trafficking.
Which means she's eligible for asylum.
Coercing a woman to travel first class for a goodwill tour is hardly human trafficking.
I don't disagree, but the prince's words on record do give you a toehold.
Per the Trafficking Victims Protection Act of 2000, You can grant Leela a "T" Visa, keeping her in this country.
Two years ago, Mr.
Hillman had sex with his wife and filmed it for money.
Why? Because he was desperate.
Well, now I'm desperate.
See, my son is in Mr.
Hillman's class, and when I get home at night, he asks, "When is my favorite teacher coming back, dad?" I'm desperate to get Mr.
Hillman back in that classroom.
How desperate? Well Judge for yourself.
- Mr.
Parker! This is inappropriate! - Your honor, come on! - Please! - Your honor! You're right, but will my indiscretion today prevent me from representing a client two years from now? Of course not.
And what if I took off my shirt, as well? - That is enough, Mr.
Parker! - Oh, please, your honor! - We are, in this country, - Mr.
Parker! - facing a crisis in education.
- Mr.
Parker! All right.
I'm holding you in contempt.
- Bailiff.
- Oh, imagine my surprise.
- Bailiff! - This is a jury trial for a reason.
- My client is not proud of what he did.
- Order! I'm not proud to - stand here today in my boxers.
- Take him out.
- But I'm desperate - Bailiff, remove him - to save a great teacher.
- from this courtroom! And I'm desperate to tell my son that his favorite teacher will be back in the classroom! Ms.
Barrett? I'm Mo Harris, Los Angeles consumer affairs.
I'm here to investigate a complaint.
Okay.
I thought I saw a rat.
But it was just an old scrunchy stuck behind the radiator.
W-- how would you know that? Uh, Carrie from Carrie's cupcakes notified my office that Channing Tatum was in New York when you tweeted he was here.
Another fake tweet could bring charges of false advertising.
It will never, ever happen again.
Can I? I would like to hand in my resignation.
And I accept it.
O-M-G, it's Sandra Oh! That is so offensive, young lady.
Not all Asians look alike.
Except that I am Sandra Oh.
And, oh, do I love Stacy's pakes.
You might want to tweet that.
Hello? Anybody home? - We're in here.
- Dad! Thanks for getting Mr.
Hillman his job back.
- What? - Oh, uh, while you were unavailable, the verdict came in.
He starts school again tomorrow.
Love you, dad.
I love you, too, pal.
Now, go brush your teeth.
So, how was the clink? Well worth it.
In fact, if you don't mind getting Eric to bed, I will get us a bottle of champagne to celebrate.
To celebrate Mr.
Hillman? That's a start.
Jane, how'd it go with the judge? She's considering our request, but we don't have much time.
And Leela's plane leaves in an hour.
Oh, well, uh, maybe this isn't the best time to tell you, but Owen stopped by.
Okay? Why the cautious voice and long face? He said he really needed to speak with you.
He was carrying your tote, The one that you use at his place for an overnight bag.
Ohgod.
Nope, just me -- Luke.
Not now, Luke.
I think Owen's dumping me.
I mean, the bag is the only thing I keep at his place, and we had this argument.
Everyone argues.
No, it was about marriage.
And he said he didn't believe in marriage, and I made it perfectly clear that I do.
Well, he's waiting in the bar downstairs to speak with you.
All right.
Jane? Leela! Hi.
Oh, my god! Judge pushed through the visa just in time.
You saved my life.
I owe you everything.
Are you okay? Oh, yeah.
I'm -- I'm just so happy for you.
I -- I can't -- I'm sorry.
Actually, I-I need to go do s-- There's someone -- do -- I have to talk to someone.
I'm sorry.
- Of course.
Of course.
- Okay.
Congratulations.
- Where is she going? - The bar downstairs.
- Why? - None of my business.
Come on.
I'll, uh, walk you out.
Grayson, you need to go to Jane.
What? She's upset, and you love her.
I can see it in your eyes.
Go to her now and tell her everything.
Leela, it's more complicated -- It's only complicated when you're not true to your feelings.
Go.
Please.
Thanks.
Thank you.
So, I hear you've been looking for me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How was your day? Uh, good.
Uh, Leela got her "T" Visa.
- Really? Wow.
That's wonderful.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Grayson.
- Luke? - Grayson, hey.
Listen, I just got a call from a potential client -- um, wants to have dinner tonight over in Santa Monica.
How about you and I head on there, huh? Actually, there's something I need to do here.
Did you see Jane? - Where are my manners? C-can I get you something to drink? - No.
- Pomtini, white wine? - No.
Owen, I'm fine, really.
Whiskey? Or, as you call it, "liquid courage.
" You know what? You know what? Forget about the client.
I want to buy you a drink, man.
I know this place that makes a mean pisco sour.
Talking about brandy -- - Actually, I really need to -- - Hey, actually, one sec.
Uhhello? Hey, great.
Okay.
Owen, enough.
I know what's coming, andI get it.
You know, our values just -- just aren't the same.
And we want different things out of life.
You brought my tote bag, and -- and I get it.
No.
- Owen.
- No, no.
- Oh, god.
- Owen? H-hang on, please.
Here.
- Open it.
- Okay.
Jane will you marry me? I-I thought you didn't believe in marriage.
I didn't.
And now you do? Now I see it through your eyes.
Great.
Great.
I'll let him know.
Hey, so, good news.
A buddy of mine wants to do poker night at his house tonight.
- You want to join? - I'm sorry, Luke.
I really need to see Jane.
Excuse me.
Hey.
Grayson! Hey.
Are you okay? Yeah.
A-actually I'm fabulous.
Um we just got engaged.
Wow.
Congrats.
Amazing.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
That'sbig news.
Yeah, it's -- it's huge.
I-I actually just got off the phone with Stacy, and we're gonna celebrate at the pakery.
Would you join us? Uhthat's okay.
I, uh I've got this thing.
- Right? - Right.
Right.
Sure.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Both of you.
Thank you.
Oh, my god! Ladies.
If you'll excuse me, I need to borrow my fiance.
Oh, his fiance.
What's going on? Owen.
For my princess.
Who are you? - Me? - Yeah.
Well, I'm your prince.
Okay.
Fine.
I'm just a guy who'd rather live in your reality than mine.
- Shall we? - Yeah.
Come on.