Evil (2019) s04e05 Episode Script
How to Fly an Airplane
1
[SIGHS]
I thought he seemed sad.
He liked my drawing.
What do they do to him, Mom?
They help him rest, um,
they do talk therapy, some medication
- When can Dad come home?
- A few months, I think.
Doctors reevaluate after two months.
LAURA: Is he crazy, Mom?
- No. No, he's not.
- Are we the problem?
He's gonna be fine, girls. He really is.
I don't think Dad looked good.
[SOBBING]
[PHONE RINGING]
David. Everything all right?
- No. Can you come in?
- Yeah. What's going on?
- [PASSING CAR HONKS]
- An exorcism went bad.
The subject slit her wrists.
We're rushing her to Harbor Hospital.
- She never tried anything
- God, by your name save me,
- by your might defend
- Oh, my God.
I didn't even know there was
an exorcism today.
DAVID: There wasn't.
They went around us.
We just got a call
to come in and assess.
Assess now? What's the worth now?
- Covering their asses.
- Oh, God.
Okay, do you want me to call Ben?
No, he's with me.
Can you meet us at the hospital?
The ER, please?
All right, 20 minutes.
I'm gonna have to head
to work for a few hours.
You girls gonna be all right?
- Yeah, we'll be fine.
- You don't have to worry.
[OVERLAPPING ASSENTS]
Hey, come here.
We're gonna have
to hold it together. Okay?
Dad would want us to stay strong.
- We're here, Mom.
- We're not little kids anymore.
- I know. I love you.
- Love you, too.
[SIREN WAILING]
DAVID: That's why we have
psychological
and medical examinations
- But these were emergencies.
- To prevent situations
And I am fully capable of determining
if somebody is spiritually afflicted.
Okay, hold it down, please, over here.
If this woman is to be saved,
it is imperative
that I finish my exorcism.
No, Father.
Father Ignatius asked me
to take over supervision here.
He's worried about liability.
Well, our faith is being
ruined by lawyers.
Thank you for your input.
Please step back.
Hey, Kristen, how are you?
Yeah, I'm-I'm fine. How is she?
She's lost a lot of blood,
but they think she'll live.
Yeah. These are her files.
There's not much in there.
These are our assessors.
This is the lawyer
assigned to our parish,
- Mr. Flowers.
- Nice to meet you. Okay.
The liability risk is high here.
Father Jeffries acted on his own
without due caution.
He ignored safeguards
required by your insurance,
- so you may not be covered.
- What are the safeguards?
You, the assessors.
Oh, wow.
That's a warm feeling.
- DEMENT: What do we do now?
- FLOWERS: Assess.
Find reasons for the exorcism.
That's the only way
to decrease your liability.
And if there are no reasons
for an exorcism?
Well, that would not be good.
If the cause was psychological
or physical, then the Church
- is vulnerable.
- Kristen?
Look, it's hard to tell
from Vicki's file alone,
but she could be suffering from
a major depressive disorder.
I should question the husband.
Father.
DEMENT: Holy Mary.
DAVID: Kristen, Ben.
When did this happen?
MARCUS: I don't know.
I've never seen it before.
KRISTEN: These aren't new.
MARCUS: The past few months
we've been on conflicting schedules.
We sleep in separate beds
so we don't wake each other.
BEN: These look like MRSA.
Staphylococcus aureus.
Which, unfortunately,
- is methicillin-resistant.
- What is that?
Or it could be an allergic reaction.
- Yeah.
- Where are her clothes?
There.
KRISTIN: Have you been using
any new detergent at home?
No, but we don't do our laundry at home.
- What do you mean?
- We're both on red-eye shifts.
She runs the 11:00 p.m. to Italy,
I do the overnight to L.A.
- You're flight attendants?
- She is. I'm a pilot.
And do you have any boils
- or marks?
- No.
What made you think
she needed an exorcism?
After this last red-eye,
she started to exhibit
I don't know,
she was depressed, shut down.
She could barely sleep
through the night.
And sometimes she would claw her face.
So she was showing signs
of self-harming behavior?
Mr. Flowers, could you
give us some space, please?
Yes.
She was hitting herself.
Did Vicki ever have an allergic reaction
to her uniform before?
I-I don't know. I never heard it.
Can we get it from your house?
She never brought it home.
She'd leave it at the crash pad.
I don't know What is that?
That's a hotel room the pilots
and flight attendants use
to sleep between shifts.
Sometimes it takes too long
to get home from JFK,
so they need a bed at the airport.
Could you tell us where
this crash pad is?
[JET ROARING]
[KNOCKING]
Aren't they here 24/7?
Yeah, that's what Marcus said.
You all right?
Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.
You don't seem fine.
[SIGHS] It's, uh, Andy.
What happened?
We had to check him into
a psychiatric treatment
- center upstate.
- Oh, my God, I am sorry.
He'd been dealing with claustrophobia
ever since the avalanche.
You don't get to have your phone there
for the first month,
so I just, I haven't been
able to reach him, which is just
BEN: You did the right thing.
You're getting him the help he needs.
Yeah.
Hey, he's gonna be fine.
DAVID: Go home, Kristin.
Be with your daughters.
- Ben and I can handle this.
- No.
- I want to stay busy.
- [KNOCKING]
- How much?
- "How much"?
The pizza. Aren't you guys Grubhub?
Oh, no, we're here for Shannon.
Shannon, I think it's the exorcists.
- Assessors.
- Assessors.
Come on in.
Marcus said you'd be coming.
Do you want a beer?
- No, I'm fine.
- Yeah, sure. That sounds nice.
Everyone, these are
the exorcist assessors.
ALL: Hey Hi
It's horror binge night.
Have you ever seen The Haunting
of Midnight Mass Club?
- No. What's that?
- A binge watch.
It's 2:00 in the morning to us,
so just adjust your internal clock.
- You're here about Vicki.
- [LAUGHTER]
Don't mind us,
we've got a 12-hour layover,
so we're in a bit of
a partying mood. [LAUGHS]
Marcus says you're Vicki's best friend?
I mean, I guess.
We're on the same routes.
- What do you need?
- Her uniform.
Lucy, can you stir the mac and cheese?
[QUIETLY]: Okay, so this is Vicki's.
How do you know this was hers?
I thought everyone just slept wherever.
Oh, no, that's just the beds
in the living room.
Those are hot beds;
they're first come first serve.
The ones in here are cold beds.
You pay extra to know that
you're the only one sleeping in it.
- These are her uniforms?
- Yes.
Her rotation. One for every out-flight,
one for every in-flight.
Do you all have the same dry cleaner?
No, no. Each airline has their own.
Do you have any skin reactions
from the dry-cleaning chemicals?
- No.
- What about the sheets?
Who does them?
The hotel.
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
Is she okay?
SHANNON: Oh, yeah,
it happens all the time.
You spend all day biting your tongue,
holding back from saying
what you really think.
It comes out somehow.
[OVERLAPPING SCREAMS IN VIDEO
AND HOTEL ROOM]
- Fast forward.
- 15 seconds.
Anyone?
- Uh, thanks, but I'm driving.
- [LAUGHING]
I'll have one. I'll have one,
and then that's it.
SHANNON: Yeah.
- Tori!
- Tori.
Where can a girl get a drink
in a place like this?
SHANNON: I got you, girl.
Hey, you were with Vicki
on her last flight, weren't you?
Yeah. Fuckin' crazy.
Tell these guys what happened.
They're looking into Vicki
going nuts. He's a priest.
Oh, sorry, Father.
No, no, no. It's no problem. I'm David.
Uh, this is Kristin and Ben.
- How's Vicki doing?
- DAVID: We are not sure.
Um, we're just trying to
piece together what happened.
- TORI: Mm.
- Any thoughts?
Yeah.
We were on the red-eye from Rome,
the tourist coupon flight.
- Coupon?
- Tourist deal.
It means people drink a lot
on the way home.
Yeah, they have to go to work on Monday,
so they unwind.
Yeah, but it wasn't just that.
She said she saw Captain Lemire.
- Fuck you.
- That's what she said!
- "Captain Lemere"? What?
- Lemire.
It's an old legend. A ghost pilot.
- We've all seen him.
- I haven't.
Well, that doesn't mean
he wasn't there, you just
- weren't paying attention.
- Okay.
Okay, so there was this pilot, Lemire.
His flight went down
in the North Atlantic.
It was a tragedy.
Everybody on board died.
The thing is, a few months later,
he started appearing on flights
across the Atlantic
whenever there was crazy turbulence.
And I swear he's trying
to crash those flights.
Come on, that's all superstition.
TORI: No, you think everything
is superstition.
When we landed, Vicki fell down.
Her body was, like, throbbing.
She was foaming at the mouth.
The paramedics has to come
and take her off the plane,
and that was the last time she flew.
Her husband called in
- her resignation the next day.
- Come on.
That is not why she was leaving.
Tell them, Tori.
- What do you mean?
- Shut up, Lucy.
What? Tell me.
- What was it?
- She had a side hustle,
- and it took off.
- Lucy!
Everybody knew it, Tori.
Just fuckin' tell them.
Look, she was a mule.
What, for drugs? Heroin?
TORI: No, no. It was not a big deal.
She was moving relics from Rome.
Like bones and old icons.
Apparently there's a big
black market for that.
- That's why she was leaving?
- Yeah. On her last trip
she said she got something
that she could retire on.
She's gonna be flying first class
- from now on.
- KRISTIN: What was it?
No clue. But she hid it
in the galley in a bag.
She wouldn't tell me what it was.
But during the lightning,
- she did say something weird.
- BEN: What?
"I need to destroy it,
or it will destroy me."
[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]
She made me promise
never to show this to anyone.
Whoa.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
We heard you wanted to see us?
We did. We do. Have we met?
No, uh, this is Kristen and Ben.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Are you part of the Entity?
I'm Father Dominic.
There is no Entity,
and you are the other assessors.
We must have really stumbled
onto something important
if you're revealing yourself to us.
David said you were both very knowing.
Yes. We believe this relic
We believe it is a portion
of the True Cross.
Christ's cross?
Yes. A sliver from the base
has always been missing.
It was traced to Croatia
in World War II, but then lost.
We don't know how
your flight attendant
Vicki Finch.
We don't know how
she gained access to it,
but it needs to be returned
to the Vatican.
It is, as you can imagine invaluable.
Is this what possessed her?
We don't know, and that isn't our issue.
But it is our issue.
We believe returning the relic
will exorcise her.
We need this returned immediately,
and we need the three of you
to deliver it.
[CHUCKLES]
I'm sorry, what?
The Vatican has asked you
to deliver this relic.
They have questions for you.
You want us to go to the Vatican?
Yes.
- Why not just David?
- They have questions
that touch upon all your disciplines.
This is non-negotiable.
Oh, I'm-I'm sorry,
I'm not your employee,
so you can't really tell me
what's negotiable.
Kristin, Ben,
I need you to go with David.
- Are you ordering us?
- No.
I'm asking you politely.
This has gone to the very top.
They want the three of you
to meet with them
at the Vatican and discuss this relic.
Uh, let us talk about it.
- Please.
- Yes.
The flight is tomorrow.
[BEN SNORTS]
[WHISPERING]: I've never been to Rome.
♪
[BABY COOING]
[THUNDER CRASHING]
[DEMONIC LAUGHTER]
♪
♪
♪
YASMINE: Wow, look at you,
dressed to impress.
Those priests are all
gonna break their vows.
That's what I'm going for.
Thank you so much, Yasmine.
I really appreciate it.
It's only gonna be 35 hours,
there and back.
- That's it.
- Uh, do you
want me to make dinner?
- Because I don't make dinner.
- Uh, no.
Actually, the girls are gonna
want to make candy salad,
but you shouldn't let them;
I already ordered pizza.
- [EXHALES] Thank God.
- Here is the number
for my neighbor, Sheila Gibson.
She's really great.
She'll come over if there's any problem.
There won't be any problems.
I'm really good with kids.
Also, they had a little bit
of a setback with their dad,
so they might be a bit emotional.
Just let 'em watch
whatever Netflix show they want.
Let me give you the code.
- Come on.
- YASMINIE: Okay.
How'd it go with that
stolen egg, by the way?
Let's talk about that later.
Girls?
Mom, I can do this. I'm old enough.
I know, I know. But Yasmine's
just backup, okay?
Can you get us something cool,
like a T-shirt?
- Or the leaning tower.
- I'm barely gonna be able
to touch the ground when I get there.
- Are you gonna see the pope?
- I don't think so.
We're gonna return a relic
to make someone well.
- Whoa!
- Okay, Mom, here's what you do.
- Okay.
- In the Sistine Chapel
- Mm-hmm.
- You take out your pen
and scrawl your name at the base.
- Oh, my God!
- No, no!
Just don't let anyone see,
and you'll be as famous as Michelangelo.
All right, I think it's time I
leave you juvenile delinquents.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Um, I'll call. Don't kill anyone.
And if you do, keep the receipts.
YASMINE: Just have fun.
It's not for fun, it's work. Okay?
All right, I love you,
I love you, I love you.
- I love you.
- I love you.
Mwah. I'll send photos.
LILA: Michelangelo.
Okay. Don't burn the house down.
- Love you.
- We'll do our best.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Hey, David.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- You want to grab this spot?
Oh, thank you.
You clean up nice, Benny.
Well, this is my first trip to Italy.
Mine, too. You know what?
I thought the Vatican would spring us
first-class tickets.
Yeah. Next time.
You think we're gonna talk to the pope?
I'm sure he's got all the time
in the world for us.
So, does the relic get
its own seat, or?
Well, I was thinking you could
take the window, if you like.
Let the relic sit in the window,
have it enjoy the view a little bit.
DAVID: Ah
KRISTIN: Thank you. Whoops.
Okay, well, I am going to sleep.
You can wake me up when we crash.
- Ben!
- Don't joke.
Hold on, you guys know
that I can't really
crash the plane by joking
about it crashing, right?
Hey! Go to sleep.
[WIND WHOOSHING]
Okay, your sisters are in the kitchen
making something called candy salad.
Ugh, don't get me started.
I think you should start the movie.
No. Come on, tell me,
what did Mom do next?
I don't think your mom would
want me to tell you about
Did she have a lot of boyfriends?
Define "a lot."
- [CHUCKLES]
- Oh, my God. How many?
Well, are we talking just boyfriends,
- or girlfriends, too?
- What?
Okay, that's a story
- for another time.
- [PHONE BUZZING]
- Oh, I want to know.
- Hey, Mom.
What's wrong? Wait, what?
I-I can't hear you.
Where are you? Where's Billy?
- Mom?
- What's wrong?
Okay, I got it.
I got it. Give me an hour.
[SIGHS] Okay.
Okay, my mom lives in
an assisted-living facility,
and a branch just crashed
through her kitchen.
I need to go pick her up.
I'll bring her back here.
Are you four all right
on your own for an hour?
I got it.
- [TRAIN RATTLING]
- [TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
- I want bangs.
- You know, guys,
I should use this cream on Laura's hair.
- I heard it's really good.
- No, that's $60 a jar.
- Mom bought it to be used.
- Will you bleach our hair?
- I heard it's really good.
- No.
Mom would, like, actually kill us
LYNN [POUNDING ON DOOR]:
What are you guys doing?
- Nothing.
- Nothing.
Getting ready for bed.
- Nothing.
- Brushing our teeth.
- I think we should do skin care.
- I can do your nails.
You know, I do Alex's all the time
You guys have to stop.
You're gonna overload the
circuits.
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
Hello, ladies.
Bob the Built Builder here.
So you want to reset your
circuit breaker? Here's how.
First things first,
locate your service panel
LAURA: Oh, great. That's helpful, Bob.
LYNN: So where's the service panel?
LEXIS: I think it's in the basement
near the washing machine.
LILA: Wait, maybe we
should call Mom's friend.
- She said she'd be right back.
- Oh, yeah. Where is she?
Isn't her mom dying?
LYNN: Okay, come on, I need
someone to hold the light.
- I can't. I have to pee.
- No, you don't.
You just want to check your hair.
No, I don't. It's dark.
I need someone to come with me.
It's dark everywhere.
Okay, Lexis, you take Laura
to the bathroom
and use your phone for light.
- Lila, come with me.
- What?
We're breaking off into pairs.
I don't want to go to the basement.
- [SIGHS]
- [STAIRS CREAKING]
LYNN: Okay, where is it?
Is that it?
Okay
Well, that isn't helpful.
Turn on the video.
[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
Now, open the front door
of your service panel
and find the tripped
circuit breaker.
It will be in a
a middle position.
All I see are a lot of switches.
Just start flipping them.
Okay.
Are you becoming more religious?
What?
Mom thinks you are.
I'm just looking at things, is all.
Is it because of Dad?
I don't know.
It feels like we're orphans, doesn't it?
No.
Well, what's it called when
you only have one parent?
- Half-orphan?
- Dad's not dead.
We need to help Mom.
- I think she's losing it.
- I know.
Did you hear her yell out last night?
I think she has bad dreams.
- I think
- [SCRATCHING NOISES]
What was that?
[SCRATCHING OVERHEAD]
Rats?
[SCRATCHING CONTINUES]
[WHISPERING]: Give me the flashlight.
Wait.
Maybe
maybe it's a cat.
[BOTH SCREAM]
[LYNN AND LILA SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[BATS CHITTERING, SQUEAKING]
They're just trying to scare us.
Stop it, Lila!
LILA [IN DISTANCE]: Lynn, be careful!
[FLOOR CREAKING]
LILA: I think I see one over there.
[LEXIS AND LAURA BREATHING HEAVILY]
- Be careful! Watch out!
- [RUMBLING]
[BATS SQUEAKING]
[SCREAMING]
- Inside. Close the door.
- Okay.
- Uh, door.
- Okay.
They cleared out of the kitchen!
- LYNN: Come down here!
- [BATS SQUEAKING]
- [THUNDER RUMBLES]
- Oh, my God.
LYNN [IN DISTANCE]: Laura, are you okay?
Where are you?
[SQUEAKING]
[SCREAMING]
- [BATS SQUEAKING]
- [SCREAMING]
Go! Go, go, go, go!
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
Guys! Guys. We're safe now.
Everybody just needs
to hold it together.
It's fine.
It's okay.
- [SCREAMING]
- No, you guys!
It's just a water stain.
- No, it's a bat.
- LYNN: Everybody calm down.
- It's fine.
- There's another one.
[SQUEAKING]
- Hold on!
- [SCREAMING]
Over here. Wait, I got it.
- It's locked.
- I know!
- The key's in the kitchen.
- Oh, my God.
Aah! It's locked!
Okay, what do we do now?
Oh, there's a fake rock
around here with a key in it.
- I saw Mom use it once.
- Okay.
Why don't we just call the neighbor?
I called her earlier.
I just got her machine.
LAURA: Well, this is great.
We're gonna die out here.
Whoa, hold on, hold on, this is it.
- [GIRLS ALL SCREAM]
- Okay, I'm calling.
Who? Mom's on a plane.
Hi, it's me. We need help.
We're locked outside and there's bats.
SHERYL: I'm so sorry. But where's Mom?
LEXIS: On a trip. A work trip.
Don't you have a key?
Uh, yes. Um
O-Okay, I'll be, I'll be right there.
Who was that?
Lexis.
Um, baby?
Oh, God, this is such bullshit.
We're gonna have to renegotiate
our quid pro quo.
♪
[SIGHS] I can't get ahold of them.
They're probably asleep.
What is it there, 10:00?
Yeah. Oh, wait, I got a text from them.
"Everything's good, Mom.
There was a blackout
from the storm,
but we're good. Send photos."
See? They're strong girls.
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
Why do I get so worried?
I get this itch in my stomach
that something's wrong.
Are we going to a hotel
or straight to the Vatican?
Could we get a bite to eat?
Andiamo dritti al Vaticano?
Vogliamo darci una rinfrescata.
La reliquia va restituita
il prima possibile.
Hmm?
We have to return the relic first.
Here.
Oh, great. Just what I needed.
[GASPS] Oh, my gosh, the Colosseum.
Let me take a picture.
Uh, could could you open the window?
Oh, can you ask them
to unlock the window?
Tolga il blocco per bambini dai
finestrini, la prego.
[SPEAKS ITALIAN]
Great.
They're not gonna let us see
any part of Rome, are they?
Maybe afterwards.
Probably has something to
do with the relic and its toxicity.
If it's toxic, why are we
the ones who transported it?
Because we are the expendable atheists.
DAVID: Speak for yourself.
I don't think they know English.
[SINGING SWEETLY]: Sodomy ♪
Fellatio ♪
Cunnilingus ♪
Pederasty ♪
Father ♪
Why do these words
sound so nasty? ♪
- [BEN CHUCKLES]
- Masturbation ♪
Can be fun ♪
Join the holy orgy ♪
Kama Sutra. ♪
Where do we enter?
Probably the Porta del Perugino.
Entriamo dalla
Porta del Perugino?
They don't seem happy with us.
Did we do something wrong?
[QUIETLY]: Does it feel like
we're being kidnapped?
[QUIETLY]: Kinda.
You get out here.
Wha
- Qui?
- PRIEST: Yes.
Okay.
Um, sorry, should we
bring our bags, or
[DOOR CREAKS SHUT]
BEN: Uh, isn't this the place
where Joe Pesci got killed?
Ma che succede?
Perché siamo qui?
This way.
Why?
The relic.
[UNLOCKS DOOR]
There.
Hey
[DOOR CREAKS SHUT]
[EXHALES]
Well, I'm glad I dressed up.
[FOOTSTEPS ECHOING]
[RUSTLING]
- KRISTIN: What's that noise?
- DAVID: What?
Sounds like rats.
What? I'm-I'm hungry.
You want some?
No, I'm-I'm good.
KRISTIN: Hey, exactly how far
are we supposed to
go down this thing?
No idea. It's all new to me.
Let's just remember
we're doing it for Vicki.
- [DOOR SQUEAKS]
- Hi.
Oh, sorry. How was your trip?
Fine.
What are you doing here?
Seeing if you have the one true relic.
Why didn't you fly with us?
No reason.
No, there was a reason.
He was worried
our plane was gonna crash.
We're the guinea pigs.
No.
This way, please.
[TAPPING FLASHLIGHT IN PALM]
KRISTIN: So, um, what is this, a sewer?
DOMINIC: No, an escape tunnel
for the Holy Father.
From the 16th century.
During World War II, the Vatican chose
to hide their more
irreplaceable artifacts here.
It is where
the One True Cross now resides.
We must see if that
has a place in the cross.
So how did a flight attendant get it?
That is a mystery.
There's an active black market.
That's all we know.
[WATER DRIPPING]
When we enter, please keep
your voices to a whisper.
This is holy ground.
[WHISPERING]: You'd think
if this was holy ground
they'd keep it cleaner.
[WHISPERING]: You'd think
if this was holy ground
it'd clean itself.
[MONK SPEAKING SOFTLY IN LATIN]
You are still Catholic as hell.
It's the tug of ritual.
It has us in its grasp.
Freud.
[MONK CONTINUES SPEAKING
SOFTLY IN LATIN]
♪
It's a counterfeit.
You're kidding.
No. There are relic dealers
who counterfeit real relics.
- Then why is Vicki Finch sick?
- Who's that?
[CHUCKLES] Wow.
The Catholic Church. You gotta love 'em.
The possessed woman with the relic.
There are boils all over her body.
I don't know.
But this is not the stolen relic.
Maybe psychosomatic suggestion?
If only we had a psychiatrist here.
Oh, I'm a psychologist.
This is what I suggest.
This is water blessed by
the Holy Father.
Pour it over her infliction and explain
the relic she stole was a counterfeit.
Thank you, Father.
Have a good trip back.
We need to get food before I get
on the plane, or I'm dying.
Hey, Lynn, hi, how are you?
I-I was starting to get worried.
There was a blackout from a storm
and we couldn't charge our phones.
But everything's all right?
- You're-you're all right?
- Yes.
Mom wants to know if we're all right.
- Hi, Mom!
- Hey, how are you? How's Rome?
- Is it cool?
- KRISTIN: Um, wait,
- there was a blackout?
- LYNN: Yes.
But we handled it.
You'd be proud of us.
Could I talk to Yasmine?
Actually, she had to go help her mom.
The windstorm.
A branch fell into her house.
What?
It's okay, Mom. We did well.
We handled it all on our own.
Did you call the neighbor?
Yes, but we couldn't get her.
Oh, dear God.
LYNN: How's the Vatican, Mom?
Is it beautiful?
No, not really. I'll tell you later.
So-so what happened to Yasmine?
Mom, my phone's almost out
of charge; I'll call you back.
Love you.
Okay, you guys can come out now.
All the bats are gone.
Okay, we're gonna have
to burn the house down,
'cause I can't live here anymore.
Come on. Come on.
Look. Bat-free!
LILA: How'd you do that, Grandma?
Cinnamon sticks.
LYNN: How'd you know
to do that, Grandma?
Let's just say I've lived in
some pretty run-down places.
What the Who's that?
Oh, yeah, that's a, that's a baby.
- I'm babysitting.
- Oh, my God.
[GIRLS ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
This is Timothy.
Timothy, these are your, um
This is Lexis, Laura,
Lila and Lynn.
- Oh, my God, he's smiling!
- LAURA: He likes me.
- No, me.
- SHERYL: He likes all of you.
You know, this is the first time
he's stopped crying today.
Does he have a dad, or did
she have him out of wedlock?
Who? Did who have him out of wedlock?
I don't know. Does he have a mom?
Um shall we tell them, Timothy,
or should we wait?
What does that mean?
[EXHALES] It's, um
it's a bit of a secret.
It's a secret who the mom is?
A bit of one.
Oh, you know what? He might be hungry.
Who wants to feed him?
- I do! I do!
- I'm oldest.
I think he just wants to be held.
Okay.
Why don't you try that? Go ahead.
Be careful. Careful.
It's okay, I know how to do it.
- [LEXIS CHUCKLES]
- LAURA: He's so cute.
It's like you two belong together.
Mom says I could start
babysitting at 14,
so I'm gonna try to learn
as much as I can before then.
I've missed you girls.
You all right, Grandma?
[TRYING NOT TO CRY]:
Yeah, yeah, I think it's the
I think it's the cinnamon sticks.
[GIRLS LAUGH]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- Hey, Father, how's she doing?
- Unchanged.
Doctors can find nothing toxic
in her clothing.
- How was Rome?
- Disappointing.
But we got some holy water
from the pope.
- You might, uh
- I might
Father, tell Vicki
the relic she was transporting
it was counterfeit. She's not guilty.
Kristin thinks this is
- psychological?
- Yes.
And you might want to bless her
with some holy water.
Father Jeffries isn't here.
That's probably better.
Just try it yourself.
- All right.
- Thank you, Father.
And we're heading home.
Fly safe.
Thanks.
KRISTIN: Well, that was
- a nice trip to Rome.
- Yeah.
Hey, look who's here.
My favorite exorcists.
Tori. I didn't know you were
gonna be on this flight.
I'm in first class, but I'll try to
slip you some champagne if you like.
Oh, would you, please?
So, are you checking out
the flight for Vicki?
No, we were returning her relic.
Oh, that's good.
What's that doing here?
It's a fake, Tori.
The relic is counterfeit.
Okay.
She thought our flight was
gonna crash because of that.
It's not going to.
Okay.
It's just, flight attendants
can be superstitious, so
Okay, we're closing up
the doors. Just buckle up.
Hey, get me that drink you just
- TORI: Yes.
- Will you just
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
[KRISTIN SIGHS]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
What the fuck?
[WHISPERING]: Hey, Tori. This thing,
I don't know what's happening,
but it won't shut off.
Excuse me, Father? Father.
David.
- There's a call for you.
- A call?
Ground to air. Please.
[THUNDER CRASHES]
- What's that about?
- David. He got a call.
A call? Here?
It's the captain.
David Acosta.
I have an emergency
air-to-ground call for you.
Please wait.
DOMINIC: David.
Father, how'd you get me here?
The Vatican switchboard
connected me.
- It's urgent that I warn you.
- About?
The relic you brought here.
I said it wasn't
from the Cross of Christ,
and it's not.
- But the box
- Uh What about it?
The monastic father
in the chapel thinks
he recognized it. It is a relic.
Okay.
A demonic relic.
- Bulgarian. The kukeri.
- [CABIN SHAKING]
I don't know what that means.
It's part of a collection being
brought into New York
to be assembled in service
of the ultimate corruption.
So an ultimate evil is
coming to New York?
- It's already there.
- [THUNDEROUS BANG]
- Whoa!
- [PEOPLE EXCLAIMING]
Father, you'll have
to get back to your seat.
David, you mustn't let that piece
reach its destination.
The only way to curb its power
is to destroy it.
- I'm on a plane. How do I
- [TORI CRIES OUT]
You'll have to get back to your
seat now, Father. Please!
CAPTAIN [OVER INTERCOM]:
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is the captain speaking.
We have entered
a rough patch of weather,
and we ask that all passengers
remain in their seats
with their seat belts
securely fastened
until we get through this.
You all right?
[THUNDER CRASHES]
This is the captain.
We are flying through
unexpected weather we could not
detect beforehand.
Please remain seated
with your seat belts fastened.
[WOMAN CRIES OUT]
[KRISTEN SIGHS HEAVILY]
I am not liking this.
I do not like this.
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
David.
- BEN: Hey, hey.
- I thought I saw something.
It looked like
What? What'd it look like?
I don't know.
Like a a ghost.
It's just the static energy
from the lightning strikes
playing tricks on your eyes.
We need to destroy the relic.
- What? Why?
- BEN: Destroy it?
Here? How?
[LOUD BANG]
- [DISTRESSED CRIES]
- [BOOMING THUNDER]
This is the captain.
For your own safety,
we request that you keep
your seat belts fastened.
We are already making
[DEMONIC CRY OVER INTERCOM]
What the hell?
Don't worry. On a flight last year,
somebody on the ground
hacked into the media system,
and they were doing all kinds
of weird sounds.
- Well, are we over the ground?
- No, no.
We're above the Atlantic.
Then where would they be hacking from?
I don't know.
It could be somebody on the plane.
[DEMONIC SHRIEK OVER INTERCOM]
- Oh, my God!
- [WOMAN SOBBING]
David, what are you doing?
[THUNDER CRASHES]
What I can.
- [WOMAN GASPS]
- WOMAN 2: Ow.
BEN: David, the plane
is not having trouble
because of that box.
[DEMONIC SHRIEK]
[THUNDER ROLLING]
- Oh, my God, it's burning.
- What?
[THUNDER CRASHES] [PASSENGERS CRY OUT]
[DEMONIC SHRIEK]
[RUMBLING SUBSIDES]
This is the captain.
My apologies for
that unanticipated weather.
We've already started
our descent into JFK.
We expect to land
40 minutes ahead.
Welcome to New York.
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
[EXHALES] Wow.
Well, good thing we went to Rome.
[SIGHS]
LILA: I want to keep him
forever. Please, can you?
[GIRLS CHATTER INDISTINCTLY]
- How old is he?
- He is so adorable.
- He has to come every time.
- He's such a cutie.
Mom landed. She's on her way.
Okay, um, I think you gals
are fine on your own now.
Why can't Timothy stay?
You know why.
But I want to tell you the secret.
- Yes. I want to know.
- Tell us. Tell us.
We just need to have an agreement.
Okay? This is just between
the five of us.
- [TIMOTHY FUSSING]
- The six of us.
- Promise.
- All right.
- Okay? Cross your heart?
- Yep.
- Yep.
- Yes.
Did you notice that Timothy
looks like you four?
[FUSSING]
You know why?
No. Why?
He's your brother.
[SIGHS]
I thought he seemed sad.
He liked my drawing.
What do they do to him, Mom?
They help him rest, um,
they do talk therapy, some medication
- When can Dad come home?
- A few months, I think.
Doctors reevaluate after two months.
LAURA: Is he crazy, Mom?
- No. No, he's not.
- Are we the problem?
He's gonna be fine, girls. He really is.
I don't think Dad looked good.
[SOBBING]
[PHONE RINGING]
David. Everything all right?
- No. Can you come in?
- Yeah. What's going on?
- [PASSING CAR HONKS]
- An exorcism went bad.
The subject slit her wrists.
We're rushing her to Harbor Hospital.
- She never tried anything
- God, by your name save me,
- by your might defend
- Oh, my God.
I didn't even know there was
an exorcism today.
DAVID: There wasn't.
They went around us.
We just got a call
to come in and assess.
Assess now? What's the worth now?
- Covering their asses.
- Oh, God.
Okay, do you want me to call Ben?
No, he's with me.
Can you meet us at the hospital?
The ER, please?
All right, 20 minutes.
I'm gonna have to head
to work for a few hours.
You girls gonna be all right?
- Yeah, we'll be fine.
- You don't have to worry.
[OVERLAPPING ASSENTS]
Hey, come here.
We're gonna have
to hold it together. Okay?
Dad would want us to stay strong.
- We're here, Mom.
- We're not little kids anymore.
- I know. I love you.
- Love you, too.
[SIREN WAILING]
DAVID: That's why we have
psychological
and medical examinations
- But these were emergencies.
- To prevent situations
And I am fully capable of determining
if somebody is spiritually afflicted.
Okay, hold it down, please, over here.
If this woman is to be saved,
it is imperative
that I finish my exorcism.
No, Father.
Father Ignatius asked me
to take over supervision here.
He's worried about liability.
Well, our faith is being
ruined by lawyers.
Thank you for your input.
Please step back.
Hey, Kristen, how are you?
Yeah, I'm-I'm fine. How is she?
She's lost a lot of blood,
but they think she'll live.
Yeah. These are her files.
There's not much in there.
These are our assessors.
This is the lawyer
assigned to our parish,
- Mr. Flowers.
- Nice to meet you. Okay.
The liability risk is high here.
Father Jeffries acted on his own
without due caution.
He ignored safeguards
required by your insurance,
- so you may not be covered.
- What are the safeguards?
You, the assessors.
Oh, wow.
That's a warm feeling.
- DEMENT: What do we do now?
- FLOWERS: Assess.
Find reasons for the exorcism.
That's the only way
to decrease your liability.
And if there are no reasons
for an exorcism?
Well, that would not be good.
If the cause was psychological
or physical, then the Church
- is vulnerable.
- Kristen?
Look, it's hard to tell
from Vicki's file alone,
but she could be suffering from
a major depressive disorder.
I should question the husband.
Father.
DEMENT: Holy Mary.
DAVID: Kristen, Ben.
When did this happen?
MARCUS: I don't know.
I've never seen it before.
KRISTEN: These aren't new.
MARCUS: The past few months
we've been on conflicting schedules.
We sleep in separate beds
so we don't wake each other.
BEN: These look like MRSA.
Staphylococcus aureus.
Which, unfortunately,
- is methicillin-resistant.
- What is that?
Or it could be an allergic reaction.
- Yeah.
- Where are her clothes?
There.
KRISTIN: Have you been using
any new detergent at home?
No, but we don't do our laundry at home.
- What do you mean?
- We're both on red-eye shifts.
She runs the 11:00 p.m. to Italy,
I do the overnight to L.A.
- You're flight attendants?
- She is. I'm a pilot.
And do you have any boils
- or marks?
- No.
What made you think
she needed an exorcism?
After this last red-eye,
she started to exhibit
I don't know,
she was depressed, shut down.
She could barely sleep
through the night.
And sometimes she would claw her face.
So she was showing signs
of self-harming behavior?
Mr. Flowers, could you
give us some space, please?
Yes.
She was hitting herself.
Did Vicki ever have an allergic reaction
to her uniform before?
I-I don't know. I never heard it.
Can we get it from your house?
She never brought it home.
She'd leave it at the crash pad.
I don't know What is that?
That's a hotel room the pilots
and flight attendants use
to sleep between shifts.
Sometimes it takes too long
to get home from JFK,
so they need a bed at the airport.
Could you tell us where
this crash pad is?
[JET ROARING]
[KNOCKING]
Aren't they here 24/7?
Yeah, that's what Marcus said.
You all right?
Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.
You don't seem fine.
[SIGHS] It's, uh, Andy.
What happened?
We had to check him into
a psychiatric treatment
- center upstate.
- Oh, my God, I am sorry.
He'd been dealing with claustrophobia
ever since the avalanche.
You don't get to have your phone there
for the first month,
so I just, I haven't been
able to reach him, which is just
BEN: You did the right thing.
You're getting him the help he needs.
Yeah.
Hey, he's gonna be fine.
DAVID: Go home, Kristin.
Be with your daughters.
- Ben and I can handle this.
- No.
- I want to stay busy.
- [KNOCKING]
- How much?
- "How much"?
The pizza. Aren't you guys Grubhub?
Oh, no, we're here for Shannon.
Shannon, I think it's the exorcists.
- Assessors.
- Assessors.
Come on in.
Marcus said you'd be coming.
Do you want a beer?
- No, I'm fine.
- Yeah, sure. That sounds nice.
Everyone, these are
the exorcist assessors.
ALL: Hey Hi
It's horror binge night.
Have you ever seen The Haunting
of Midnight Mass Club?
- No. What's that?
- A binge watch.
It's 2:00 in the morning to us,
so just adjust your internal clock.
- You're here about Vicki.
- [LAUGHTER]
Don't mind us,
we've got a 12-hour layover,
so we're in a bit of
a partying mood. [LAUGHS]
Marcus says you're Vicki's best friend?
I mean, I guess.
We're on the same routes.
- What do you need?
- Her uniform.
Lucy, can you stir the mac and cheese?
[QUIETLY]: Okay, so this is Vicki's.
How do you know this was hers?
I thought everyone just slept wherever.
Oh, no, that's just the beds
in the living room.
Those are hot beds;
they're first come first serve.
The ones in here are cold beds.
You pay extra to know that
you're the only one sleeping in it.
- These are her uniforms?
- Yes.
Her rotation. One for every out-flight,
one for every in-flight.
Do you all have the same dry cleaner?
No, no. Each airline has their own.
Do you have any skin reactions
from the dry-cleaning chemicals?
- No.
- What about the sheets?
Who does them?
The hotel.
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
Is she okay?
SHANNON: Oh, yeah,
it happens all the time.
You spend all day biting your tongue,
holding back from saying
what you really think.
It comes out somehow.
[OVERLAPPING SCREAMS IN VIDEO
AND HOTEL ROOM]
- Fast forward.
- 15 seconds.
Anyone?
- Uh, thanks, but I'm driving.
- [LAUGHING]
I'll have one. I'll have one,
and then that's it.
SHANNON: Yeah.
- Tori!
- Tori.
Where can a girl get a drink
in a place like this?
SHANNON: I got you, girl.
Hey, you were with Vicki
on her last flight, weren't you?
Yeah. Fuckin' crazy.
Tell these guys what happened.
They're looking into Vicki
going nuts. He's a priest.
Oh, sorry, Father.
No, no, no. It's no problem. I'm David.
Uh, this is Kristin and Ben.
- How's Vicki doing?
- DAVID: We are not sure.
Um, we're just trying to
piece together what happened.
- TORI: Mm.
- Any thoughts?
Yeah.
We were on the red-eye from Rome,
the tourist coupon flight.
- Coupon?
- Tourist deal.
It means people drink a lot
on the way home.
Yeah, they have to go to work on Monday,
so they unwind.
Yeah, but it wasn't just that.
She said she saw Captain Lemire.
- Fuck you.
- That's what she said!
- "Captain Lemere"? What?
- Lemire.
It's an old legend. A ghost pilot.
- We've all seen him.
- I haven't.
Well, that doesn't mean
he wasn't there, you just
- weren't paying attention.
- Okay.
Okay, so there was this pilot, Lemire.
His flight went down
in the North Atlantic.
It was a tragedy.
Everybody on board died.
The thing is, a few months later,
he started appearing on flights
across the Atlantic
whenever there was crazy turbulence.
And I swear he's trying
to crash those flights.
Come on, that's all superstition.
TORI: No, you think everything
is superstition.
When we landed, Vicki fell down.
Her body was, like, throbbing.
She was foaming at the mouth.
The paramedics has to come
and take her off the plane,
and that was the last time she flew.
Her husband called in
- her resignation the next day.
- Come on.
That is not why she was leaving.
Tell them, Tori.
- What do you mean?
- Shut up, Lucy.
What? Tell me.
- What was it?
- She had a side hustle,
- and it took off.
- Lucy!
Everybody knew it, Tori.
Just fuckin' tell them.
Look, she was a mule.
What, for drugs? Heroin?
TORI: No, no. It was not a big deal.
She was moving relics from Rome.
Like bones and old icons.
Apparently there's a big
black market for that.
- That's why she was leaving?
- Yeah. On her last trip
she said she got something
that she could retire on.
She's gonna be flying first class
- from now on.
- KRISTIN: What was it?
No clue. But she hid it
in the galley in a bag.
She wouldn't tell me what it was.
But during the lightning,
- she did say something weird.
- BEN: What?
"I need to destroy it,
or it will destroy me."
[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]
She made me promise
never to show this to anyone.
Whoa.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
We heard you wanted to see us?
We did. We do. Have we met?
No, uh, this is Kristen and Ben.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Are you part of the Entity?
I'm Father Dominic.
There is no Entity,
and you are the other assessors.
We must have really stumbled
onto something important
if you're revealing yourself to us.
David said you were both very knowing.
Yes. We believe this relic
We believe it is a portion
of the True Cross.
Christ's cross?
Yes. A sliver from the base
has always been missing.
It was traced to Croatia
in World War II, but then lost.
We don't know how
your flight attendant
Vicki Finch.
We don't know how
she gained access to it,
but it needs to be returned
to the Vatican.
It is, as you can imagine invaluable.
Is this what possessed her?
We don't know, and that isn't our issue.
But it is our issue.
We believe returning the relic
will exorcise her.
We need this returned immediately,
and we need the three of you
to deliver it.
[CHUCKLES]
I'm sorry, what?
The Vatican has asked you
to deliver this relic.
They have questions for you.
You want us to go to the Vatican?
Yes.
- Why not just David?
- They have questions
that touch upon all your disciplines.
This is non-negotiable.
Oh, I'm-I'm sorry,
I'm not your employee,
so you can't really tell me
what's negotiable.
Kristin, Ben,
I need you to go with David.
- Are you ordering us?
- No.
I'm asking you politely.
This has gone to the very top.
They want the three of you
to meet with them
at the Vatican and discuss this relic.
Uh, let us talk about it.
- Please.
- Yes.
The flight is tomorrow.
[BEN SNORTS]
[WHISPERING]: I've never been to Rome.
♪
[BABY COOING]
[THUNDER CRASHING]
[DEMONIC LAUGHTER]
♪
♪
♪
YASMINE: Wow, look at you,
dressed to impress.
Those priests are all
gonna break their vows.
That's what I'm going for.
Thank you so much, Yasmine.
I really appreciate it.
It's only gonna be 35 hours,
there and back.
- That's it.
- Uh, do you
want me to make dinner?
- Because I don't make dinner.
- Uh, no.
Actually, the girls are gonna
want to make candy salad,
but you shouldn't let them;
I already ordered pizza.
- [EXHALES] Thank God.
- Here is the number
for my neighbor, Sheila Gibson.
She's really great.
She'll come over if there's any problem.
There won't be any problems.
I'm really good with kids.
Also, they had a little bit
of a setback with their dad,
so they might be a bit emotional.
Just let 'em watch
whatever Netflix show they want.
Let me give you the code.
- Come on.
- YASMINIE: Okay.
How'd it go with that
stolen egg, by the way?
Let's talk about that later.
Girls?
Mom, I can do this. I'm old enough.
I know, I know. But Yasmine's
just backup, okay?
Can you get us something cool,
like a T-shirt?
- Or the leaning tower.
- I'm barely gonna be able
to touch the ground when I get there.
- Are you gonna see the pope?
- I don't think so.
We're gonna return a relic
to make someone well.
- Whoa!
- Okay, Mom, here's what you do.
- Okay.
- In the Sistine Chapel
- Mm-hmm.
- You take out your pen
and scrawl your name at the base.
- Oh, my God!
- No, no!
Just don't let anyone see,
and you'll be as famous as Michelangelo.
All right, I think it's time I
leave you juvenile delinquents.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Um, I'll call. Don't kill anyone.
And if you do, keep the receipts.
YASMINE: Just have fun.
It's not for fun, it's work. Okay?
All right, I love you,
I love you, I love you.
- I love you.
- I love you.
Mwah. I'll send photos.
LILA: Michelangelo.
Okay. Don't burn the house down.
- Love you.
- We'll do our best.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Hey, David.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- You want to grab this spot?
Oh, thank you.
You clean up nice, Benny.
Well, this is my first trip to Italy.
Mine, too. You know what?
I thought the Vatican would spring us
first-class tickets.
Yeah. Next time.
You think we're gonna talk to the pope?
I'm sure he's got all the time
in the world for us.
So, does the relic get
its own seat, or?
Well, I was thinking you could
take the window, if you like.
Let the relic sit in the window,
have it enjoy the view a little bit.
DAVID: Ah
KRISTIN: Thank you. Whoops.
Okay, well, I am going to sleep.
You can wake me up when we crash.
- Ben!
- Don't joke.
Hold on, you guys know
that I can't really
crash the plane by joking
about it crashing, right?
Hey! Go to sleep.
[WIND WHOOSHING]
Okay, your sisters are in the kitchen
making something called candy salad.
Ugh, don't get me started.
I think you should start the movie.
No. Come on, tell me,
what did Mom do next?
I don't think your mom would
want me to tell you about
Did she have a lot of boyfriends?
Define "a lot."
- [CHUCKLES]
- Oh, my God. How many?
Well, are we talking just boyfriends,
- or girlfriends, too?
- What?
Okay, that's a story
- for another time.
- [PHONE BUZZING]
- Oh, I want to know.
- Hey, Mom.
What's wrong? Wait, what?
I-I can't hear you.
Where are you? Where's Billy?
- Mom?
- What's wrong?
Okay, I got it.
I got it. Give me an hour.
[SIGHS] Okay.
Okay, my mom lives in
an assisted-living facility,
and a branch just crashed
through her kitchen.
I need to go pick her up.
I'll bring her back here.
Are you four all right
on your own for an hour?
I got it.
- [TRAIN RATTLING]
- [TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
- I want bangs.
- You know, guys,
I should use this cream on Laura's hair.
- I heard it's really good.
- No, that's $60 a jar.
- Mom bought it to be used.
- Will you bleach our hair?
- I heard it's really good.
- No.
Mom would, like, actually kill us
LYNN [POUNDING ON DOOR]:
What are you guys doing?
- Nothing.
- Nothing.
Getting ready for bed.
- Nothing.
- Brushing our teeth.
- I think we should do skin care.
- I can do your nails.
You know, I do Alex's all the time
You guys have to stop.
You're gonna overload the
circuits.
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
Hello, ladies.
Bob the Built Builder here.
So you want to reset your
circuit breaker? Here's how.
First things first,
locate your service panel
LAURA: Oh, great. That's helpful, Bob.
LYNN: So where's the service panel?
LEXIS: I think it's in the basement
near the washing machine.
LILA: Wait, maybe we
should call Mom's friend.
- She said she'd be right back.
- Oh, yeah. Where is she?
Isn't her mom dying?
LYNN: Okay, come on, I need
someone to hold the light.
- I can't. I have to pee.
- No, you don't.
You just want to check your hair.
No, I don't. It's dark.
I need someone to come with me.
It's dark everywhere.
Okay, Lexis, you take Laura
to the bathroom
and use your phone for light.
- Lila, come with me.
- What?
We're breaking off into pairs.
I don't want to go to the basement.
- [SIGHS]
- [STAIRS CREAKING]
LYNN: Okay, where is it?
Is that it?
Okay
Well, that isn't helpful.
Turn on the video.
[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
Now, open the front door
of your service panel
and find the tripped
circuit breaker.
It will be in a
a middle position.
All I see are a lot of switches.
Just start flipping them.
Okay.
Are you becoming more religious?
What?
Mom thinks you are.
I'm just looking at things, is all.
Is it because of Dad?
I don't know.
It feels like we're orphans, doesn't it?
No.
Well, what's it called when
you only have one parent?
- Half-orphan?
- Dad's not dead.
We need to help Mom.
- I think she's losing it.
- I know.
Did you hear her yell out last night?
I think she has bad dreams.
- I think
- [SCRATCHING NOISES]
What was that?
[SCRATCHING OVERHEAD]
Rats?
[SCRATCHING CONTINUES]
[WHISPERING]: Give me the flashlight.
Wait.
Maybe
maybe it's a cat.
[BOTH SCREAM]
[LYNN AND LILA SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[BATS CHITTERING, SQUEAKING]
They're just trying to scare us.
Stop it, Lila!
LILA [IN DISTANCE]: Lynn, be careful!
[FLOOR CREAKING]
LILA: I think I see one over there.
[LEXIS AND LAURA BREATHING HEAVILY]
- Be careful! Watch out!
- [RUMBLING]
[BATS SQUEAKING]
[SCREAMING]
- Inside. Close the door.
- Okay.
- Uh, door.
- Okay.
They cleared out of the kitchen!
- LYNN: Come down here!
- [BATS SQUEAKING]
- [THUNDER RUMBLES]
- Oh, my God.
LYNN [IN DISTANCE]: Laura, are you okay?
Where are you?
[SQUEAKING]
[SCREAMING]
- [BATS SQUEAKING]
- [SCREAMING]
Go! Go, go, go, go!
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
Guys! Guys. We're safe now.
Everybody just needs
to hold it together.
It's fine.
It's okay.
- [SCREAMING]
- No, you guys!
It's just a water stain.
- No, it's a bat.
- LYNN: Everybody calm down.
- It's fine.
- There's another one.
[SQUEAKING]
- Hold on!
- [SCREAMING]
Over here. Wait, I got it.
- It's locked.
- I know!
- The key's in the kitchen.
- Oh, my God.
Aah! It's locked!
Okay, what do we do now?
Oh, there's a fake rock
around here with a key in it.
- I saw Mom use it once.
- Okay.
Why don't we just call the neighbor?
I called her earlier.
I just got her machine.
LAURA: Well, this is great.
We're gonna die out here.
Whoa, hold on, hold on, this is it.
- [GIRLS ALL SCREAM]
- Okay, I'm calling.
Who? Mom's on a plane.
Hi, it's me. We need help.
We're locked outside and there's bats.
SHERYL: I'm so sorry. But where's Mom?
LEXIS: On a trip. A work trip.
Don't you have a key?
Uh, yes. Um
O-Okay, I'll be, I'll be right there.
Who was that?
Lexis.
Um, baby?
Oh, God, this is such bullshit.
We're gonna have to renegotiate
our quid pro quo.
♪
[SIGHS] I can't get ahold of them.
They're probably asleep.
What is it there, 10:00?
Yeah. Oh, wait, I got a text from them.
"Everything's good, Mom.
There was a blackout
from the storm,
but we're good. Send photos."
See? They're strong girls.
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
Why do I get so worried?
I get this itch in my stomach
that something's wrong.
Are we going to a hotel
or straight to the Vatican?
Could we get a bite to eat?
Andiamo dritti al Vaticano?
Vogliamo darci una rinfrescata.
La reliquia va restituita
il prima possibile.
Hmm?
We have to return the relic first.
Here.
Oh, great. Just what I needed.
[GASPS] Oh, my gosh, the Colosseum.
Let me take a picture.
Uh, could could you open the window?
Oh, can you ask them
to unlock the window?
Tolga il blocco per bambini dai
finestrini, la prego.
[SPEAKS ITALIAN]
Great.
They're not gonna let us see
any part of Rome, are they?
Maybe afterwards.
Probably has something to
do with the relic and its toxicity.
If it's toxic, why are we
the ones who transported it?
Because we are the expendable atheists.
DAVID: Speak for yourself.
I don't think they know English.
[SINGING SWEETLY]: Sodomy ♪
Fellatio ♪
Cunnilingus ♪
Pederasty ♪
Father ♪
Why do these words
sound so nasty? ♪
- [BEN CHUCKLES]
- Masturbation ♪
Can be fun ♪
Join the holy orgy ♪
Kama Sutra. ♪
Where do we enter?
Probably the Porta del Perugino.
Entriamo dalla
Porta del Perugino?
They don't seem happy with us.
Did we do something wrong?
[QUIETLY]: Does it feel like
we're being kidnapped?
[QUIETLY]: Kinda.
You get out here.
Wha
- Qui?
- PRIEST: Yes.
Okay.
Um, sorry, should we
bring our bags, or
[DOOR CREAKS SHUT]
BEN: Uh, isn't this the place
where Joe Pesci got killed?
Ma che succede?
Perché siamo qui?
This way.
Why?
The relic.
[UNLOCKS DOOR]
There.
Hey
[DOOR CREAKS SHUT]
[EXHALES]
Well, I'm glad I dressed up.
[FOOTSTEPS ECHOING]
[RUSTLING]
- KRISTIN: What's that noise?
- DAVID: What?
Sounds like rats.
What? I'm-I'm hungry.
You want some?
No, I'm-I'm good.
KRISTIN: Hey, exactly how far
are we supposed to
go down this thing?
No idea. It's all new to me.
Let's just remember
we're doing it for Vicki.
- [DOOR SQUEAKS]
- Hi.
Oh, sorry. How was your trip?
Fine.
What are you doing here?
Seeing if you have the one true relic.
Why didn't you fly with us?
No reason.
No, there was a reason.
He was worried
our plane was gonna crash.
We're the guinea pigs.
No.
This way, please.
[TAPPING FLASHLIGHT IN PALM]
KRISTIN: So, um, what is this, a sewer?
DOMINIC: No, an escape tunnel
for the Holy Father.
From the 16th century.
During World War II, the Vatican chose
to hide their more
irreplaceable artifacts here.
It is where
the One True Cross now resides.
We must see if that
has a place in the cross.
So how did a flight attendant get it?
That is a mystery.
There's an active black market.
That's all we know.
[WATER DRIPPING]
When we enter, please keep
your voices to a whisper.
This is holy ground.
[WHISPERING]: You'd think
if this was holy ground
they'd keep it cleaner.
[WHISPERING]: You'd think
if this was holy ground
it'd clean itself.
[MONK SPEAKING SOFTLY IN LATIN]
You are still Catholic as hell.
It's the tug of ritual.
It has us in its grasp.
Freud.
[MONK CONTINUES SPEAKING
SOFTLY IN LATIN]
♪
It's a counterfeit.
You're kidding.
No. There are relic dealers
who counterfeit real relics.
- Then why is Vicki Finch sick?
- Who's that?
[CHUCKLES] Wow.
The Catholic Church. You gotta love 'em.
The possessed woman with the relic.
There are boils all over her body.
I don't know.
But this is not the stolen relic.
Maybe psychosomatic suggestion?
If only we had a psychiatrist here.
Oh, I'm a psychologist.
This is what I suggest.
This is water blessed by
the Holy Father.
Pour it over her infliction and explain
the relic she stole was a counterfeit.
Thank you, Father.
Have a good trip back.
We need to get food before I get
on the plane, or I'm dying.
Hey, Lynn, hi, how are you?
I-I was starting to get worried.
There was a blackout from a storm
and we couldn't charge our phones.
But everything's all right?
- You're-you're all right?
- Yes.
Mom wants to know if we're all right.
- Hi, Mom!
- Hey, how are you? How's Rome?
- Is it cool?
- KRISTIN: Um, wait,
- there was a blackout?
- LYNN: Yes.
But we handled it.
You'd be proud of us.
Could I talk to Yasmine?
Actually, she had to go help her mom.
The windstorm.
A branch fell into her house.
What?
It's okay, Mom. We did well.
We handled it all on our own.
Did you call the neighbor?
Yes, but we couldn't get her.
Oh, dear God.
LYNN: How's the Vatican, Mom?
Is it beautiful?
No, not really. I'll tell you later.
So-so what happened to Yasmine?
Mom, my phone's almost out
of charge; I'll call you back.
Love you.
Okay, you guys can come out now.
All the bats are gone.
Okay, we're gonna have
to burn the house down,
'cause I can't live here anymore.
Come on. Come on.
Look. Bat-free!
LILA: How'd you do that, Grandma?
Cinnamon sticks.
LYNN: How'd you know
to do that, Grandma?
Let's just say I've lived in
some pretty run-down places.
What the Who's that?
Oh, yeah, that's a, that's a baby.
- I'm babysitting.
- Oh, my God.
[GIRLS ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
This is Timothy.
Timothy, these are your, um
This is Lexis, Laura,
Lila and Lynn.
- Oh, my God, he's smiling!
- LAURA: He likes me.
- No, me.
- SHERYL: He likes all of you.
You know, this is the first time
he's stopped crying today.
Does he have a dad, or did
she have him out of wedlock?
Who? Did who have him out of wedlock?
I don't know. Does he have a mom?
Um shall we tell them, Timothy,
or should we wait?
What does that mean?
[EXHALES] It's, um
it's a bit of a secret.
It's a secret who the mom is?
A bit of one.
Oh, you know what? He might be hungry.
Who wants to feed him?
- I do! I do!
- I'm oldest.
I think he just wants to be held.
Okay.
Why don't you try that? Go ahead.
Be careful. Careful.
It's okay, I know how to do it.
- [LEXIS CHUCKLES]
- LAURA: He's so cute.
It's like you two belong together.
Mom says I could start
babysitting at 14,
so I'm gonna try to learn
as much as I can before then.
I've missed you girls.
You all right, Grandma?
[TRYING NOT TO CRY]:
Yeah, yeah, I think it's the
I think it's the cinnamon sticks.
[GIRLS LAUGH]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- Hey, Father, how's she doing?
- Unchanged.
Doctors can find nothing toxic
in her clothing.
- How was Rome?
- Disappointing.
But we got some holy water
from the pope.
- You might, uh
- I might
Father, tell Vicki
the relic she was transporting
it was counterfeit. She's not guilty.
Kristin thinks this is
- psychological?
- Yes.
And you might want to bless her
with some holy water.
Father Jeffries isn't here.
That's probably better.
Just try it yourself.
- All right.
- Thank you, Father.
And we're heading home.
Fly safe.
Thanks.
KRISTIN: Well, that was
- a nice trip to Rome.
- Yeah.
Hey, look who's here.
My favorite exorcists.
Tori. I didn't know you were
gonna be on this flight.
I'm in first class, but I'll try to
slip you some champagne if you like.
Oh, would you, please?
So, are you checking out
the flight for Vicki?
No, we were returning her relic.
Oh, that's good.
What's that doing here?
It's a fake, Tori.
The relic is counterfeit.
Okay.
She thought our flight was
gonna crash because of that.
It's not going to.
Okay.
It's just, flight attendants
can be superstitious, so
Okay, we're closing up
the doors. Just buckle up.
Hey, get me that drink you just
- TORI: Yes.
- Will you just
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
[KRISTIN SIGHS]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
What the fuck?
[WHISPERING]: Hey, Tori. This thing,
I don't know what's happening,
but it won't shut off.
Excuse me, Father? Father.
David.
- There's a call for you.
- A call?
Ground to air. Please.
[THUNDER CRASHES]
- What's that about?
- David. He got a call.
A call? Here?
It's the captain.
David Acosta.
I have an emergency
air-to-ground call for you.
Please wait.
DOMINIC: David.
Father, how'd you get me here?
The Vatican switchboard
connected me.
- It's urgent that I warn you.
- About?
The relic you brought here.
I said it wasn't
from the Cross of Christ,
and it's not.
- But the box
- Uh What about it?
The monastic father
in the chapel thinks
he recognized it. It is a relic.
Okay.
A demonic relic.
- Bulgarian. The kukeri.
- [CABIN SHAKING]
I don't know what that means.
It's part of a collection being
brought into New York
to be assembled in service
of the ultimate corruption.
So an ultimate evil is
coming to New York?
- It's already there.
- [THUNDEROUS BANG]
- Whoa!
- [PEOPLE EXCLAIMING]
Father, you'll have
to get back to your seat.
David, you mustn't let that piece
reach its destination.
The only way to curb its power
is to destroy it.
- I'm on a plane. How do I
- [TORI CRIES OUT]
You'll have to get back to your
seat now, Father. Please!
CAPTAIN [OVER INTERCOM]:
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is the captain speaking.
We have entered
a rough patch of weather,
and we ask that all passengers
remain in their seats
with their seat belts
securely fastened
until we get through this.
You all right?
[THUNDER CRASHES]
This is the captain.
We are flying through
unexpected weather we could not
detect beforehand.
Please remain seated
with your seat belts fastened.
[WOMAN CRIES OUT]
[KRISTEN SIGHS HEAVILY]
I am not liking this.
I do not like this.
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
David.
- BEN: Hey, hey.
- I thought I saw something.
It looked like
What? What'd it look like?
I don't know.
Like a a ghost.
It's just the static energy
from the lightning strikes
playing tricks on your eyes.
We need to destroy the relic.
- What? Why?
- BEN: Destroy it?
Here? How?
[LOUD BANG]
- [DISTRESSED CRIES]
- [BOOMING THUNDER]
This is the captain.
For your own safety,
we request that you keep
your seat belts fastened.
We are already making
[DEMONIC CRY OVER INTERCOM]
What the hell?
Don't worry. On a flight last year,
somebody on the ground
hacked into the media system,
and they were doing all kinds
of weird sounds.
- Well, are we over the ground?
- No, no.
We're above the Atlantic.
Then where would they be hacking from?
I don't know.
It could be somebody on the plane.
[DEMONIC SHRIEK OVER INTERCOM]
- Oh, my God!
- [WOMAN SOBBING]
David, what are you doing?
[THUNDER CRASHES]
What I can.
- [WOMAN GASPS]
- WOMAN 2: Ow.
BEN: David, the plane
is not having trouble
because of that box.
[DEMONIC SHRIEK]
[THUNDER ROLLING]
- Oh, my God, it's burning.
- What?
[THUNDER CRASHES] [PASSENGERS CRY OUT]
[DEMONIC SHRIEK]
[RUMBLING SUBSIDES]
This is the captain.
My apologies for
that unanticipated weather.
We've already started
our descent into JFK.
We expect to land
40 minutes ahead.
Welcome to New York.
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
[EXHALES] Wow.
Well, good thing we went to Rome.
[SIGHS]
LILA: I want to keep him
forever. Please, can you?
[GIRLS CHATTER INDISTINCTLY]
- How old is he?
- He is so adorable.
- He has to come every time.
- He's such a cutie.
Mom landed. She's on her way.
Okay, um, I think you gals
are fine on your own now.
Why can't Timothy stay?
You know why.
But I want to tell you the secret.
- Yes. I want to know.
- Tell us. Tell us.
We just need to have an agreement.
Okay? This is just between
the five of us.
- [TIMOTHY FUSSING]
- The six of us.
- Promise.
- All right.
- Okay? Cross your heart?
- Yep.
- Yep.
- Yes.
Did you notice that Timothy
looks like you four?
[FUSSING]
You know why?
No. Why?
He's your brother.