Gintama (2005) s04e05 Episode Script
The Other Side of the Other Side of the Other Side Would Be the Other Side
Well, I've got an important announcement from TV Tokyo.
The current analog broadcast will be ending on July 24, 2011 and switching to a terrestrial digital broadcast.
Once that has happened, analog televisions will Gin-san.
What? They didn't ask for this today.
Really? Shuddap This Perowne stuff is good.
Can't deny that.
You'll take anything, huh? After all these years of being called DORK, Gin-san, I'm gonna do it.
A life that keeps sputtering on An endless loop of finding bad things on the other side I'm going to break free of this DORK Spiral today! That's right.
All you need is a chance to turn your life around.
We'll be taking off from this place today.
Let's go, Hasegawa-san.
Yeah! Win, win, and win more! No more DORK! ["The other side of the other side of the other side would be the other side.
".]
Horse racing is a mind game.
The result comes from a number of intertwined factors.
Quite frankly, anybody who doesn't use their head is an idiot.
I don't understand the nitty-gritty stuff, but you just have to pick the winning horse, right? Too naive.
There are notes about records, news, times, training, pedigrees, jockeys, trainers The wealth of information written here narrows down the choices.
Naturally, you can't take what's written at face value.
You have to read between the lines to spot the hidden signs and arrive at the only possible truth.
That's how you predict God, that's long! That's a long-ass explanation! I'm a beginner, so I don't understand all that crap.
So which horse has it coming? Which horse is it? Like I was saying, the predicting is the epitome of horse racing! If you think it's too much effort, just go with your gut! There's always beginner's luck.
I see.
Go with my gut Hey! What's that?! The date?! It wouldn't be so hard if you could win like that! Don't worry.
Weren't you talking about beginner's luck just now? The stars are aligned for me today.
I can see the star of victory shining above me.
Yeah, can't you see that shining star next to the Big Dipper? No, you don't want to see that one.
People have died after seeing that.
That's odd I had a pretty good feeling this time That's odd I had a pretty good feeling this time Wait, you weren't even predicting anything.
You just went with the date.
You're one to talk.
Your ticket was completely wrong, too.
No, don't lump me together with you.
My prediction was on a whole different scale from yours.
I stayed up for seven hours last night simulating possible outcomes.
And that lead to this result.
Hey, don't you feel empty when you say that? How much time are you wasting? And yeah, didn't you have anything else to do? I didn't.
I'm sorry.
W-Well, let's pull ourselves together and try another race, Hasegawa-san.
You're right.
We only lost one race.
The game's just begun! That's right! Go! Go! That's it! Run your ass off! The whip! Use the whip! Lost everything Yeah Even had the hairs on my ass plucked off I don't even have enough for the train-ride back.
What's wrong? Did you snap after losing so much.
Nah.
It just seems like this is how it's always been since we met.
Really? 'Cause you know, I may be like this now, but before I met y'all, I was a top level bureaucrat in the Bakufu.
Weren't you ever taught to obey authority? You're from the Bakufu? We're from Immigration.
We've got a job for you, Odd Jobs.
I was shooting my way up the ladder Despite appearances But Gin-san! Shinpachi! I told you not to act arbitrarily! It's gonna eat me! Bastard I'm fully aware that we won't be able to capture it in one piece.
A little sacrifice is necessary for the stupid prince to understand that fact.
Hey! Are you listening to me?! So you want to use my sidekick as bait so you can get permission to dispose of that? You people are rotten to the core.
Like I said, we have to learn to live with them.
Rotten or not, I'm protecting this country in my own way.
That's my kind of samurai code.
I see.
Then, I'll follow my own samurai code! Wait up! So what if the Bakufu or the country collapses?! I'll live tall until the day this body falls apart! That bastard's gone and done it.
Hasegawa, what is the meaning of this?! I told you to capture him without hurting him! This is an international issue! Live tall Sounds like a goal a kid would set.
That's right.
My mother used to say "You're hunched over.
Stand up straight.
" Mom, am I standing up straight right now? -gawa! Hasegawa! I'm going to report this incident to my father! Shut it.
Shut it! I told you to shut your mouth, you blob-headed alien! That was where everything started going wrong.
Before that point, I was Taizo Hasegawa.
People called me by my real name.
But ever since Why were you fired, old-timer? Well Because It's because I lost my head once and just followed my bliss.
A young girl like you should always think about the consequences of your actions.
Life is long, you know.
I don't want to hear that from a loser like you.
See ya, you Dumb Old Retarded Kook! Or "DORK" for short! Yes I became DORK Hasegawa-san Let's go Our battle's over now Looking back, the two of us have never come out ahead when we gamble together.
When we play pachinko, we end up losing the money for the next day's meals When we go to the casino Everybody's ready? Even! We leave without the clothes on our backs.
Enough already Gin-san, today's different.
Tomorrow is Hatsu's birthday.
I see Your wife's Even after everything that's happened, I still want to look good for Hatsu.
Well, I at least want to be a husband who manages to scrape by, despite being a failure.
That's what's kept me floundering around this whole time.
I worked my ass off to find a job.
I struggled in vain to escape this lifestyle.
But my efforts always ended in failure Is this the DORK Spiral? Now, I don't even have a place to live, let alone a job.
Er, wait.
Looking back now, all of my failures were because of you guys It's just your imagination.
I talk to Hatsu every now and then on the phone, but the trial was the last time I saw her in person.
Sorry.
He didn't wear the suit you prepared.
What a stubborn bastard.
Or no, what a stubborn couple.
You're perfect for each other in those dirty clothes.
Hatsu I will now deliver the committee's verdict.
The accused, Taizo Hasegawa, is found guilty.
Of the crime of making his wife cry.
Go after her right away.
That's your sentence.
Magistrate! As for D.
A.
Haga, we shall punish him accordingly once we've learned the details.
The DVDs in the possession of the accused have been deemed a dangerous substance, so I shall take custody of them personally.
Why?! How badly do you want to watch those DVDs?! And so, this case is closed.
Hatsu! Wait! Hold on! I need to tell you something! You did it, Hasegawa-san! DORK! We'll get your compensation for you! Hatsu! I've made her suffer so much I want to at least buy her a present.
Makes you wanna laugh, right? Go ahead.
Everything's fallen apart.
Thanks to the DORK Spiral, I have no job, no money I have nothing left Still I can't back down.
You can go home, Gin-san.
I can't force you to stay here any longer.
But, I Go home? Don't be ridiculous.
I'm finally getting the hang of it.
Gin-san We're staying to the end.
I'll watch your battle all the way through.
I won't give up.
As long as there's a 1% chance As long as I still have my underwear I'll break free of this DORK Spiral, for Hatsu For our future! Whether you like it or not, this is the last shot.
Make sure you have no regrets.
Gin-san Hasegawa-san It's on! Yes When gambling, the question is what you bet.
The cost varies depending on the risk.
The fleeting thrill of betting money and putting yourself on the line The ardor and frustration from empathizing with the horse and jockey Different people bet different things.
But I will bet my life on this horse! Everything on number 13 winning! Gotcha.
Today's final race is made up of older horses with a ten million yen earnings limit.
The race will be 1800 meters on turf with all sixteen gates occupied.
The horses are entering their gates one by one without any incident.
I'm counting on you, Justaway I'm staking everything on your explosive speed! Finally, Patek of Visa has entered its gate.
All horses in.
The race has begun.
A clean start.
The horses are now battling for position.
Who will have the early advantage? In front, we have Arcade Humming.
Cheap Impact is holding its position at third.
Bono Machan is in the middle of the pack.
Hatsu I have a feeling I can change if I win this race Hatsu! Arcade Humming is still in front.
The trailers are slowly cutting down on his lead.
They've just turned the third corner and are on their way to the fourth.
No, I have to change For Hatsu's sake, I have to win! Win and change! They've turned the fourth corner and hit the last stretch.
Arcade Humming in front.
Cheap Impact bearing down from the outside.
Gin-san, you're rooting for Hatsu and me, right? Go! Cheap Impact! He's pulled ahead! It's Cheap Impact! Aw, yeah! Uh, wait.
What are you doing, Gin-san?! You said you'd watch my battle all the way through! Yeah, I will.
But I have my own battle going on at the same time.
Go! All the way through! That's wrong! And dishonest! And you're supposed to be the main character?! Exactly! As the main character, I have to win my battles! This was the method I arrived at! Think about it.
You're falling down a serious DORK Spiral.
It didn't matter what your prediction was.
The result would always be another step ahead.
So I decided to bet on your tendency to have things backfires.
Wh-What does that mean? I bet everything on the horse you crossed out first, Cheap Impact.
Don't hold a grudge.
I'm sick of losing everything with you when we gamble together! This time, I'll use you as a stepping stone to become a winner! Gin-san, you've forgotten one critical thing.
I'm not the only one who suffers from the DORK Spiral backfiring.
Gin-san, it's the same for you! You're such a poor loser.
Look at how my horse is leading Where are the others? Bearded Miracle is coming from the inside.
Making a run on the outside is Justaway! Justaway has closed the gap! Incredible speed! What explosive speed! Here it comes! What?! Gin-san, this is no longer an ordinary horse race.
It's the DORK Cup's final match to determine if I can escape this DORK Spiral! Go, Justaway! Cross the line, Justaway! Escape, Cheap Impact! Run away from Justaway! Cheap Impact is in front! Cheap Impact has a three length lead.
Justaway is closing in! Keep going! Keep going! Keep going! Keep going! Pass him! Pass him! Pass him! Pass him! Will it be Cheap Impact? Or Justaway? Cheap Impact or Justaway? They're neck and neck! An epic match! Please! Please! Please! Please! Cheap Impact?! Justaway?! Cheap Impact or Justaway?! Cheap Impact?! Justaway?! Cheap Impact or Justaway?! Cheap Impact?! Justaway?! Cheap Impact?! Justaway?! Justaway breaks ahead and they cross the finish line! Justaway has won! H-Here it comes Finally, it's come Man! I can't take this anymore! Damn it! Damn it! I demand a do over! I did it I did it, Gin-san I've finally escaped the DORK Spiral I can finally graduate from being DORK Isn't that nice? Hatsu Now I can go see you with my head held high A deliberation is being held regarding the fourth corner of Oedo Horse Race number 12.
The result of the deliberation is that Justaway went outside the boundary at the fourth corner, blocking Bono Machan's path, and will be disqualified.
Justaway went outside the boundary at the fourth corner Wh-What was that? I couldn't hear what he said.
What does it say on the screen? My eyes are all teared up, so I can't see clearly.
Which means My ticket won! What the hell is this?! What did I do to deserve this? Why did this have to happen?! Why me?! Why?! Hasegawa-san, what is this?! [Suicide Note.]
Hasegawa-san! [Always remembered.]
I'm not dead! It's a gag anime, so I can't die! God The staff is made up of a bunch of heartless bastards who kill somebody off because they can't come up with a punch line! Weren't you ever taught that crickets and worms are still living creatures so you just treat them with care?! [Always remembered.]
Hey! Give it up already! [The End.]
[Preview.]
What? It's okay for me to bitch a bit? Well, after three years, I've got a whole list of stuff to bitch about.
Even if I'm the main character of a JUMP series, I've got plenty of stuff to unload.
Actually, on second thought, I'm bitching all the time, so once you tell me to bitch, I can't really think of anything.
["It Takes a Bit of Courage to Enter a Street Vendor's Stand".]
Hell, am I the only main character who bitches all the time? [And the name of that stand is "Guchiriya.
".]
[Let's go vent all those pent-up complaints we've been saving every day.
.]
[See you next time.
.]
The current analog broadcast will be ending on July 24, 2011 and switching to a terrestrial digital broadcast.
Once that has happened, analog televisions will Gin-san.
What? They didn't ask for this today.
Really? Shuddap This Perowne stuff is good.
Can't deny that.
You'll take anything, huh? After all these years of being called DORK, Gin-san, I'm gonna do it.
A life that keeps sputtering on An endless loop of finding bad things on the other side I'm going to break free of this DORK Spiral today! That's right.
All you need is a chance to turn your life around.
We'll be taking off from this place today.
Let's go, Hasegawa-san.
Yeah! Win, win, and win more! No more DORK! ["The other side of the other side of the other side would be the other side.
".]
Horse racing is a mind game.
The result comes from a number of intertwined factors.
Quite frankly, anybody who doesn't use their head is an idiot.
I don't understand the nitty-gritty stuff, but you just have to pick the winning horse, right? Too naive.
There are notes about records, news, times, training, pedigrees, jockeys, trainers The wealth of information written here narrows down the choices.
Naturally, you can't take what's written at face value.
You have to read between the lines to spot the hidden signs and arrive at the only possible truth.
That's how you predict God, that's long! That's a long-ass explanation! I'm a beginner, so I don't understand all that crap.
So which horse has it coming? Which horse is it? Like I was saying, the predicting is the epitome of horse racing! If you think it's too much effort, just go with your gut! There's always beginner's luck.
I see.
Go with my gut Hey! What's that?! The date?! It wouldn't be so hard if you could win like that! Don't worry.
Weren't you talking about beginner's luck just now? The stars are aligned for me today.
I can see the star of victory shining above me.
Yeah, can't you see that shining star next to the Big Dipper? No, you don't want to see that one.
People have died after seeing that.
That's odd I had a pretty good feeling this time That's odd I had a pretty good feeling this time Wait, you weren't even predicting anything.
You just went with the date.
You're one to talk.
Your ticket was completely wrong, too.
No, don't lump me together with you.
My prediction was on a whole different scale from yours.
I stayed up for seven hours last night simulating possible outcomes.
And that lead to this result.
Hey, don't you feel empty when you say that? How much time are you wasting? And yeah, didn't you have anything else to do? I didn't.
I'm sorry.
W-Well, let's pull ourselves together and try another race, Hasegawa-san.
You're right.
We only lost one race.
The game's just begun! That's right! Go! Go! That's it! Run your ass off! The whip! Use the whip! Lost everything Yeah Even had the hairs on my ass plucked off I don't even have enough for the train-ride back.
What's wrong? Did you snap after losing so much.
Nah.
It just seems like this is how it's always been since we met.
Really? 'Cause you know, I may be like this now, but before I met y'all, I was a top level bureaucrat in the Bakufu.
Weren't you ever taught to obey authority? You're from the Bakufu? We're from Immigration.
We've got a job for you, Odd Jobs.
I was shooting my way up the ladder Despite appearances But Gin-san! Shinpachi! I told you not to act arbitrarily! It's gonna eat me! Bastard I'm fully aware that we won't be able to capture it in one piece.
A little sacrifice is necessary for the stupid prince to understand that fact.
Hey! Are you listening to me?! So you want to use my sidekick as bait so you can get permission to dispose of that? You people are rotten to the core.
Like I said, we have to learn to live with them.
Rotten or not, I'm protecting this country in my own way.
That's my kind of samurai code.
I see.
Then, I'll follow my own samurai code! Wait up! So what if the Bakufu or the country collapses?! I'll live tall until the day this body falls apart! That bastard's gone and done it.
Hasegawa, what is the meaning of this?! I told you to capture him without hurting him! This is an international issue! Live tall Sounds like a goal a kid would set.
That's right.
My mother used to say "You're hunched over.
Stand up straight.
" Mom, am I standing up straight right now? -gawa! Hasegawa! I'm going to report this incident to my father! Shut it.
Shut it! I told you to shut your mouth, you blob-headed alien! That was where everything started going wrong.
Before that point, I was Taizo Hasegawa.
People called me by my real name.
But ever since Why were you fired, old-timer? Well Because It's because I lost my head once and just followed my bliss.
A young girl like you should always think about the consequences of your actions.
Life is long, you know.
I don't want to hear that from a loser like you.
See ya, you Dumb Old Retarded Kook! Or "DORK" for short! Yes I became DORK Hasegawa-san Let's go Our battle's over now Looking back, the two of us have never come out ahead when we gamble together.
When we play pachinko, we end up losing the money for the next day's meals When we go to the casino Everybody's ready? Even! We leave without the clothes on our backs.
Enough already Gin-san, today's different.
Tomorrow is Hatsu's birthday.
I see Your wife's Even after everything that's happened, I still want to look good for Hatsu.
Well, I at least want to be a husband who manages to scrape by, despite being a failure.
That's what's kept me floundering around this whole time.
I worked my ass off to find a job.
I struggled in vain to escape this lifestyle.
But my efforts always ended in failure Is this the DORK Spiral? Now, I don't even have a place to live, let alone a job.
Er, wait.
Looking back now, all of my failures were because of you guys It's just your imagination.
I talk to Hatsu every now and then on the phone, but the trial was the last time I saw her in person.
Sorry.
He didn't wear the suit you prepared.
What a stubborn bastard.
Or no, what a stubborn couple.
You're perfect for each other in those dirty clothes.
Hatsu I will now deliver the committee's verdict.
The accused, Taizo Hasegawa, is found guilty.
Of the crime of making his wife cry.
Go after her right away.
That's your sentence.
Magistrate! As for D.
A.
Haga, we shall punish him accordingly once we've learned the details.
The DVDs in the possession of the accused have been deemed a dangerous substance, so I shall take custody of them personally.
Why?! How badly do you want to watch those DVDs?! And so, this case is closed.
Hatsu! Wait! Hold on! I need to tell you something! You did it, Hasegawa-san! DORK! We'll get your compensation for you! Hatsu! I've made her suffer so much I want to at least buy her a present.
Makes you wanna laugh, right? Go ahead.
Everything's fallen apart.
Thanks to the DORK Spiral, I have no job, no money I have nothing left Still I can't back down.
You can go home, Gin-san.
I can't force you to stay here any longer.
But, I Go home? Don't be ridiculous.
I'm finally getting the hang of it.
Gin-san We're staying to the end.
I'll watch your battle all the way through.
I won't give up.
As long as there's a 1% chance As long as I still have my underwear I'll break free of this DORK Spiral, for Hatsu For our future! Whether you like it or not, this is the last shot.
Make sure you have no regrets.
Gin-san Hasegawa-san It's on! Yes When gambling, the question is what you bet.
The cost varies depending on the risk.
The fleeting thrill of betting money and putting yourself on the line The ardor and frustration from empathizing with the horse and jockey Different people bet different things.
But I will bet my life on this horse! Everything on number 13 winning! Gotcha.
Today's final race is made up of older horses with a ten million yen earnings limit.
The race will be 1800 meters on turf with all sixteen gates occupied.
The horses are entering their gates one by one without any incident.
I'm counting on you, Justaway I'm staking everything on your explosive speed! Finally, Patek of Visa has entered its gate.
All horses in.
The race has begun.
A clean start.
The horses are now battling for position.
Who will have the early advantage? In front, we have Arcade Humming.
Cheap Impact is holding its position at third.
Bono Machan is in the middle of the pack.
Hatsu I have a feeling I can change if I win this race Hatsu! Arcade Humming is still in front.
The trailers are slowly cutting down on his lead.
They've just turned the third corner and are on their way to the fourth.
No, I have to change For Hatsu's sake, I have to win! Win and change! They've turned the fourth corner and hit the last stretch.
Arcade Humming in front.
Cheap Impact bearing down from the outside.
Gin-san, you're rooting for Hatsu and me, right? Go! Cheap Impact! He's pulled ahead! It's Cheap Impact! Aw, yeah! Uh, wait.
What are you doing, Gin-san?! You said you'd watch my battle all the way through! Yeah, I will.
But I have my own battle going on at the same time.
Go! All the way through! That's wrong! And dishonest! And you're supposed to be the main character?! Exactly! As the main character, I have to win my battles! This was the method I arrived at! Think about it.
You're falling down a serious DORK Spiral.
It didn't matter what your prediction was.
The result would always be another step ahead.
So I decided to bet on your tendency to have things backfires.
Wh-What does that mean? I bet everything on the horse you crossed out first, Cheap Impact.
Don't hold a grudge.
I'm sick of losing everything with you when we gamble together! This time, I'll use you as a stepping stone to become a winner! Gin-san, you've forgotten one critical thing.
I'm not the only one who suffers from the DORK Spiral backfiring.
Gin-san, it's the same for you! You're such a poor loser.
Look at how my horse is leading Where are the others? Bearded Miracle is coming from the inside.
Making a run on the outside is Justaway! Justaway has closed the gap! Incredible speed! What explosive speed! Here it comes! What?! Gin-san, this is no longer an ordinary horse race.
It's the DORK Cup's final match to determine if I can escape this DORK Spiral! Go, Justaway! Cross the line, Justaway! Escape, Cheap Impact! Run away from Justaway! Cheap Impact is in front! Cheap Impact has a three length lead.
Justaway is closing in! Keep going! Keep going! Keep going! Keep going! Pass him! Pass him! Pass him! Pass him! Will it be Cheap Impact? Or Justaway? Cheap Impact or Justaway? They're neck and neck! An epic match! Please! Please! Please! Please! Cheap Impact?! Justaway?! Cheap Impact or Justaway?! Cheap Impact?! Justaway?! Cheap Impact or Justaway?! Cheap Impact?! Justaway?! Cheap Impact?! Justaway?! Justaway breaks ahead and they cross the finish line! Justaway has won! H-Here it comes Finally, it's come Man! I can't take this anymore! Damn it! Damn it! I demand a do over! I did it I did it, Gin-san I've finally escaped the DORK Spiral I can finally graduate from being DORK Isn't that nice? Hatsu Now I can go see you with my head held high A deliberation is being held regarding the fourth corner of Oedo Horse Race number 12.
The result of the deliberation is that Justaway went outside the boundary at the fourth corner, blocking Bono Machan's path, and will be disqualified.
Justaway went outside the boundary at the fourth corner Wh-What was that? I couldn't hear what he said.
What does it say on the screen? My eyes are all teared up, so I can't see clearly.
Which means My ticket won! What the hell is this?! What did I do to deserve this? Why did this have to happen?! Why me?! Why?! Hasegawa-san, what is this?! [Suicide Note.]
Hasegawa-san! [Always remembered.]
I'm not dead! It's a gag anime, so I can't die! God The staff is made up of a bunch of heartless bastards who kill somebody off because they can't come up with a punch line! Weren't you ever taught that crickets and worms are still living creatures so you just treat them with care?! [Always remembered.]
Hey! Give it up already! [The End.]
[Preview.]
What? It's okay for me to bitch a bit? Well, after three years, I've got a whole list of stuff to bitch about.
Even if I'm the main character of a JUMP series, I've got plenty of stuff to unload.
Actually, on second thought, I'm bitching all the time, so once you tell me to bitch, I can't really think of anything.
["It Takes a Bit of Courage to Enter a Street Vendor's Stand".]
Hell, am I the only main character who bitches all the time? [And the name of that stand is "Guchiriya.
".]
[Let's go vent all those pent-up complaints we've been saving every day.
.]
[See you next time.
.]