Hetty Wainthropp Investigates (1996) s04e05 Episode Script

acorn media [ghostly voices.]
Leave me.
Leave me be! [Ghostly voices continue.]
Make him leave me be! Do you hear? [Dog barking and growling.]
[Door opens.]
Geoff? Hmm? You getting up or what? I'm going to work.
You want this? Ah Huh.
What's this? A reminder of your decorating duties.
OhOk.
Don't worry if you change your mind about paint colors or anything.
You can ring me.
On your new toy.
[Kiss.]
Only if you really want to.
Oh, I was bringing-- it's arrived, Robert-- a reply to my advert! Can you believe it? From Whitby? Yes, yes! From Kate, my cousin, my long lost relative.
I found her, Robert! She's written! She's moved from Whitby, as a matter of fact, to a little village called kirk-- kirkwell, that's it.
She's widowed, owns a pet shop.
How long is it since you've seen her? Oh, not since we were at school together.
Oh, you must invite her over.
Too late.
She's invited us.
To Yorkshire? We don't have to have passports.
What do you say? We've nothing much on.
Well, I have.
Sorry.
I have this article to write.
There's a deadline.
We journalists work to them, and I don't want my article to be in late.
I've got to do some research into that dodgy roofing company.
I can't believe this! I found somebody from me family.
I thought they'd all passed on.
Ha ha! Kate fielding.
Oh, she did turn a good skipping rope.
Salt, mustard, vinegar, pepper pepper, salt mustard, vinegar, pepper, salt mustard, vinegar, pepper-- it looks just like lancashire really.
[Cell phone rings.]
Oh! Mrs.
Wainthropp.
In my pocket.
It's my mobile phone.
Oh, goodness.
Can you answer it? I don't know.
We're not supposed to use them when we're driving.
What do you do? Oh.
Blue button.
Blue button.
Hello? Janet.
No, we're driving to a village near Whitby.
Yes, he's with me.
Tell her I'll be back tonight late.
He'll be back tonight Oh, it's gone.
Oh, it's dead as a dodo.
Loss of signal.
It can happen.
Yes.
When we were girls, Kate and I, we talked to each other through 2 tin cans and a length of string-- our mobile phone.
It worked every time.
Hello.
Mrs.
Susan dent? Yes.
Robert wainthrop.
You telephoned "the echo.
" [Door buzzes.]
OhYou're the reporter? Yes.
[Sea gulls calling.]
So I said to my husband-- oh, he's at work, in case you're wondering.
Well, having the roof sprayed from the inside seems a good idea.
Styro-protec were giving a good discount, and I always like a good discount.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Not so fast.
My pencil's on fire.
So this company-- styro-protec-- sprayed this plastic stuff all over your loft as insulation and protection? Yes.
It was fine at first.
Cost a few hundred.
But what's money when it comes to your house? How much exactly? 417 pounds and 67 pence.
Is that exact enough? Yes.
Thank you.
When did the trouble start? Well, I said to my husband, "there's a funny, musty smell coming from somewhere.
" And when we went up to the loft to look, their plastic stuff was eating its way into the structure of our house.
There was rain coming in.
That was the smell--damp.
WellWe were devastated.
That cost tom a lot of lettuce to have it put right.
Lettuce? Money, lettuce.
A lot of lettuce it's a line from "guys and dolls.
" I played adelaide.
I got a great review from your paper, said I had a modicum of talent.
"A lot of lettuce"? Well, I didn't dare ask him how much.
I twisted up his arm in the first place to have it done.
So the damage was rectified by you Can I say, at considerable expense? You certainly can.
I want you to tell your readers just what's going on with those swindlers at styro-protec.
I will.
I will.
You mentioned another-- Pam and Eric pardew, yes.
There's their address and details.
They'll show you the havoc caused by these con merchants.
Journey's end.
The shop is open, Mrs.
wainthrop.
I wonder if we'll still like each other.
It's been an age.
[Doorbell jingles.]
[Bird squawks.]
[Doorbell jingles.]
Hetty ponsomby.
Kate fielding.
Oh ho ho.
Ha ha ha.
Oh, Hetty, the years have been kind to you.
And you look well, Kate.
Count me blessings.
Is this your son? No, no.
Derek's in Australia.
This is Geoffrey, my partner, partner in crime.
I run a detective agency.
Not come to arrest me, I hope.
Ha ha ha.
No, not today.
I'm off duty.
Ha ha ha.
[Ahem.]
We've a lifetime's news to catch up on.
We certainly have.
[Squawk.]
Ha.
Still keeping up your music, I see.
[Choir singing.]
[Playing piano.]
Farewell to thee shadows on the sea noI'm not mad.
I'm not.
[Voices laughing.]
I'm sorry I never met your husband.
A freak wave, they said.
He loved his fishing.
Always bringing lobsters home.
I've never had one since.
Joe was a good man.
He cared for me.
He set me up in me little shop as if he knew what was coming.
Now, Kate Oh, look at me.
I bring you on a day out, and here I am bluthering away.
Come.
All right, Janet.
I've got you a tea.
Ok.
Thanks.
Ta.
What's wrong, love? Something in your tea? Yeah.
Lots of rats around here, Warren.
[Cup clatters.]
Ah, look at that.
Restless today.
A wind.
Fishermen out there.
Shadows on the sea.
We must get you back to your shop.
I've kept you away long enough.
Terrible.
Don't you think? It's terrible.
They want doing for fraud.
Shysters.
Have you complained to anyone? Who to? This styro-protec company would have changed its name 3 times by now.
At least.
Moved on.
Blackburn.
Bolton even.
Swindlers.
It's a scoop.
Write this down.
Win you an award.
Pam and Eric Pardew.
P-a-r-d-e-- w.
W.
[Voices.]
Agnes, stop.
What is it? Me father.
I heard his voice.
I won't go to him.
I won't! Agnes, your father's been dead long since.
Heard his voice! I know I did! I didn't imagine it.
This is my cousin Hetty.
She's a private investigator.
How do you do? I'm all right now.
Are you sure? I should open up me shop.
Yes.
Go.
Go.
I'm I'm Agnes stubbs, miss.
Whatever must you think of me? You better get back to your shop.
I'll stay with miss stubbs.
Is that all right? You're brave.
Most folk here think I'm off me head.
It was a public house once.
Me father bought out the license.
He was a strict teetotaler.
He must be angry with me! Why? Because I've sinned.
Hey.
Where the hell have you been? I'm sorry.
Sorry.
I'm not a big fan of the supernatural, miss stubbs.
But that's a solid wall.
Yes? Well, it seems so, yes.
Yes.
This is me torture chamber.
I suffer here, day and night.
You say you hear voices? Shouts, laughter The growl of a hound, me father calling me.
And the voice you hear is angry? Oh, yes.
Last month, I was offered strong drink.
I succumbed.
What drink did you have? Sherry.
II didn't like it.
My father must have been watching me.
First, he sent a padfoot.
Now he summons me himself.
Padfoot? A few nights back, I saw a man outside with a dog by the wall.
I'd thrown ashes at the moon.
Ashes at the moon? Why? If you're being haunted, it's supposed to free you from the boggarts.
Boggarts Demons, spirits Devil.
When your time is nigh, you see the devil's dog, a padfoot, so the story goes.
It's just a story.
That's all.
You think so? Yes, I do.
You investigate things, Kate said.
Things of this world, yes.
Will you investigate me? You? Yes.
Find out if I'm being haunted or I'm simply going mad.
[Cell phone ringing.]
Oh.
Hello.
Hello? I Hold on.
Mrs.
wainthrop.
You're breaking up.
Hello? What? Where? Wait.
Hello? Hello? Oh, that's better.
I can hear you now, Mrs.
wainthrop.
Kirkwell.
Yes, of course I can.
No, no.
Janet will understand.
It's work.
Ok, I'll be there as soon as I can.
Bye.
Geoff.
Geoff! He's done a bonk.
What? I overheard him talking on his mobile to a woman.
I'm sorry if that upsets you.
It doesn't.
Locked out, are you? Well You're locked out.
Allow me.
Huh! There you are Little lady.
What have you done, you great lunk? No probs.
I have a screwdriver and a chisel.
The damage will be repaired.
I did a course on joinery.
Who are you? Your neighbor Carl p.
Unsworth.
What's the "p" for? Power.
Hello.
["Hello".]
Oh, Mrs.
wainthrop.
I thought there was nobody here.
Kate's off gadding.
Did anybody see you arrive? No, I don't think so.
Good.
I've got you secret lodgings for the night.
[Knock on door.]
WhoWho's there? It's only me, miss stubbs--Geoffrey, the lodger.
I'm just going to be downstairs.
If you hear anything, I'll hear it, too.
Ok? Good night.
Good night.
[Thunder rumbles.]
[Dog growling and barking.]
[Thud.]
[Agnes groaning.]
Miss stubbs, are you ok? You heard him-- the devil's dog? Yes, I did.
Oh, I'm not mad, that.
So [Groans.]
Kind of you to come and see me.
We need to take instructions, miss stubbs.
Instructions? Mmm.
OhOh, yes.
I asked you to find out if I was off my chump.
You heard the dog? Yes, I did.
Scary.
Aye.
That's all right.
You say that you've actually seen the dog as well as heard it? A couple of nights ago Padfoot.
I think we must try to find a rational explanation for all this.
I've lived here too long-- all my life in that horrible old house.
Can you not move, start somewhere fresh? Missed my chance.
Should have taken it, but I wouldn't sell.
Who wanted to buy? Those shadwell brothers.
Turned up from redcar a few years back.
Kept knocking at my door Until I told them I was staying put.
Give me 2 days, miss stubbs, and I'll send this padfoot, death dog, whatever you call it, away with its tail between its legs.
Oh! Hello.
Hello.
I'm looking for a Mr.
shadwell.
We're called that.
Aye.
Both would.
I'm a close friend of miss Agnes stubbs.
Oh, aye? She's wondering if you're still interested in purchasing her property.
She's asked me to negotiate.
I've worked as an estate agent.
We'll need to think on it.
We cannot pay her top work.
Oy, nimrod, get off that net.
Sorry.
I'm sure we can discuss a fair price.
Oy? We'll pass it on.
Yeah.
See you.
Thanks for your time.
Oh, I'm staying with Kate hepple.
We heard.
Problems? From those two? Well, you never know.
She might pistol-whip us with her pension book.
Kirkwell's one of those places where everyone seems to know everyone else's business.
A great place for smuggling in the old days, this, you know.
The whole coast was notorious for it.
Secret passages.
Fancy a laugh? What? Oh.
Oh! Janet, what's happened here? I didn't notice they were chained up.
You won't forget to check next time, will you? It won't happen again, Mr.
honeywell.
This lot's got to be cleared up and on the road by 4:00.
It will be.
[Footsteps approaching.]
Right! I've had enough of you! Get that lot cleared now, or I won't cover for you any longer.
And you, what is your problem? Have you got something against women drivers, or is it just women? Girlie power, is it? Oh, lay off him, Janet.
It's only because he fancies you.
Me? Fancy her? Yeah.
Now, let's get this floor cleared up.
Sorry.
Perhaps that was an entrance.
Could have been.
Let's keep going.
Just a minute.
The other day, cousin Kate did a disappearing act around there.
For the lobsters, these things.
[Kicking floorboards.]
[Hollow thuds.]
Mrs.
wainthrop! Well done, Geoffrey.
Yes! Hold the front page.
Oh! Ha.
[Door creaks.]
[Knocking.]
Geoffrey? [Knocking.]
Aah! Who's that? Aah! Geoffrey? Are you all right? Yeah.
Is that you, or have you turned into a ghost? Sorry if I scared you, Mrs.
wainthrop.
I slipped.
Where are you? You seem very close.
I think I am, very close.
You want me to go on exploring? There's more tunnels.
No, no need to, Geoffrey.
We best get back.
Kate will be wondering where we are.
Ok.
At least we can put Agnes' mind to rest.
Janet.
Look, um I know what happened earlier.
Now, loyalty's all very well, but you just look after yourself, ok? Listen, let's you and me have a chat sometime.
Ok.
See you tomorrow.
Bye.
I found him down by the back.
Someone's pet? Probably.
Probably.
Lucky it's still alive.
Shy, isn't he? Well, he did say hello once.
Stuck his neck out.
He had some strange markings-- yellow stripes, maybe a bit of red.
Kids paint them.
I shouldn't worry.
It's nothing rare or special.
I'll make sure he's taken care of.
Where have you been, Hetty? I've missed you today.
Oh, here and there, enjoying meself.
Good.
Oh, I had a word with Ben, the choirmaster, about you singing a solo with us.
A what? You have such a lovely voice.
ButI've not sung in years.
But I promised the choir.
I said how special you were.
Oh, Kate.
Hetty, I'll look such a fool if you're not there.
And you must come and see it, too, Geoffrey.
Though I'm afraid I shan't be able to.
I have to be in Whitby.
Hiya Little lady.
Just wanted to make sure you get in ok.
Yeah.
Well, I've got my key tonight.
I can manage to turn it all by my little self.
Just wanted to make sure that my repairs wereHunky-dory.
Allow me, Janet.
Yes.
Perfect fit.
Yeah.
Well, thanks.
A bit like you and me.
What? Such a perfect fit.
Everything all right, Janet? Robert! Robert! Robert, I'm dead glad to see you.
How are you? I'm fine.
Is this a bad moment to call? No, no.
The little lady had a bit of a lock-out problem last night.
I helped her out.
I was just checking that everything wasHunky-dory.
Is it? Yeah.
Now.
Now, use your magic mobile and get in touch with Robert.
He had a friend once who kept tortoises and terrapins.
Sam I think his name was.
Describe those neck markings to him, see what he says.
You don't believe your cousin, Mrs.
wainthrop? Illogical things bother me, Geoffrey.
Kate said children paint the necks.
But the first sight of a paintbrush, a tortoise would put his head in.
And all that hoo-ha about me singing a solo with the choir, and Kate not there.
I think something's going on tomorrow night, and I need to put me mind at rest.
I'll be pleased to make the call, Mrs.
wainthrop.
I thought you might be.
Now, you better go in.
You don't want to be late for choir practice.
Well, what do you think? It's strong stuff.
Are you sure of your facts? Oh, yes.
2 separate couples said the same thing-- damage, high cost of repair.
It's an expose, you see.
It certainly is.
Ah, you don't like my prose style.
No, it's good.
It's just I hope it's not too strong.
You've only spoken to 2 people.
Don't you need a bit more evidence before you go to print? [Telephone ringing.]
Ah, Mr.
wainthrop.
I've just got in.
Everything's all right with you and Hetty? Oh, good.
Yeah.
Sam? Yes.
Oh, right.
A moment.
Tortoise Yellow stripes Red spot.
I've got to go, Mr.
wainthrop.
You've got my mobile number.
I'll get back to you.
Bye.
[Cell phone ringing.]
Come on, then.
[Cell phone ringing.]
Yes? Hello? Oh, Mr.
wainthrop.
Are you all right, Geoffrey? You sound short of breath.
No.
Well, it's difficult to explain.
I have to find a way to turn my mobile off.
Now, that tortoise you found-- it sounds like a species called Pseudemys.
It's a terrapin, actually, very rare.
Oh, and you're not allowed to import them without a license.
It's just for the afternoon.
I need to help a family friend out.
This company your friend's investigating Styro-protec.
I don't want him to get into trouble over what he writes about them.
I just want to make sure that his facts are right.
I'll tell you what.
Try companies house.
They'll send you chapter and verse on any company you like.
I think they charge you out 6 quid for a balance sheet.
I'll just find you the number.
Right.
Thanks.
Won't need the afternoon off, then.
That's what I thought.
On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross the emblem of suffering and shame and I love that old cross where the dearest and best for a world of lost sinners was slain so I'll cherish the old rugged cross till my trophies at last I lay down [door creaks.]
I will cling to the old rugged cross and exchange it someday for a crown [singing continues faintly.]
Is it all right? Of course it's all right.
It's asleep.
Don't touch.
He's coming around.
Get it out of there quick.
Come on.
Hurry.
Till my trophies at last I lay down I will cling to the old rugged cross and exchange it someday for a crown good morning, Kate.
Hetty.
Hetty, I I'm looking after them for collectors.
You're importing rare species illegally.
No, Hetty.
Isn't this a pit-bull terrier? That's not legal, is it? Is it? You always did find me out, even when we were girls together.
I should have known.
Can I talk to you? Please, Hetty.
Joe didn't leave much.
The shop hardly brings in anything.
I was desperate for money.
Dave skerry was full of sympathy, said he'd like to help.
He tricked me, Hetty.
He said, would I help him to import a few harmless tortoises? He paid well.
And then he wanted me to use the business to help him smuggle in other rare species.
And then the dogs arrived, fighting dogs for betting.
I tried to say no, but I was trapped, an accomplice, his accomplice.
How do these animals get here? From the foreign ships.
The shadwells pretend to go out for lobsters and collect the animals from beyond the 3-mile limit.
So, that's why this skerry fellow wants to buy miss stubbs' house-- so convenient.
It's the perfect place to hide the animals and pass them on.
I'd get out of this business if I could.
Honestly, Hetty, I would.
But these dogs bring £5,000.
All for profit.
You wouldn't tell anyone? The police or anyone like that? You wouldn't rat on me? [Knock on door.]
Good morning, little lady.
Your mail.
Just thought I'd bring it up.
Thanks.
Shouldn't you get dressed? [Music playing.]
Care to watch me at the weights? Not before breakfast.
[Knocking.]
Mr.
wainthrop! [Doorbell ringing.]
Robert! We're family, Hetty, blood.
I can't allow it to go on.
It won't, not with me.
Because of what you've done, the shadwells have done a flit.
I know that, but they'll set up again somewhere else, until the police find them.
When you wrote to me, I was overjoyed.
But you lied to me, Kate.
You didn't care what disease those animals brought into the country, and you've cast a doubt on Agnes stubbs' sanity! I'll make it up to her, Hetty.
It's a criminal offense, and you know it! And what am I going to do now? [Door slams.]
Robert! Wait.
Stop.
Janet, what is it? That company-- styro-protec-- their agents might have set you up.
Set me up? For what? Libel.
What? I've got the reports and balance sheets.
They've sued people for libel a number of times-- always provincial newspapers.
It's not conclusive proof, but it's worth holding back from, isn't it? They've led me on? Let me write an article based on lies? So they can sue the newspaper, yeah.
That's disgraceful.
Someone should write about this.
I never did get my lobster salad.
Let's go home, Geoffrey.
[Clang.]
Oh, sorry to scare you, little lady.
HeyWhere's that little guy? He'll be home any time now.
You know, if he weren't around, there'd be chances for you and me to Cozy up.
You'd like that, Janet.
You reckon? WellHe's a bit on the small side, isn't he? For a girlLike you.
He can look after himself.
That's what the mouse said as they brought down the mallet.
Is that a threat? [Laughs.]
Jan? What is it? What's happened? It's me.
I've made a mistake.
We shouldn't have decided to live together, not here.
You said you loved it.
You had plans to paint, to paper.
Oh, Geoff, I just don't want you to get hurt, that's all.
We haven't met.
I'm Geoff Shawcross.
I'm-- I know who you are-- Carl p.
Unsworth.
My girlfriend Janet told me.
And did she tell you anything else Little man? She seemed to think I should be careful of you.
Can't think why.
Little lady knows who has the power.
Power isn't in muscle.
It's here.
Understand one thing, Carl-- Janet doesn't like being bothered by you.
She'd rather you left her alone.
So would I.
There are laws against that kind of thing.
Don't make me use them.
It's fairly good, Robert, but it's on a different subject, isn't it? Aye.
"Sue thy neighbor.
" Everybody's doing it.
It's become a national pastime.
I've said things against the whole nasty business.
Good for you.
What about you, love? I'm sorry things didn't work out with your cousin Kate.
They did at first.
It was after.
Well, you can't choose who's to be in your family, can you? No, unfortunately.
You don't think this article's too outspoken? No, no, no.
[Creak.]
What's that noise? Nothing.
You're hearing things, Hetty.
There's no secret passages here.
I hope not.
IHa ha ha.
[Voices laughing.]
Robert, there are voices.
[Thud.]
There's somebody in the house.
Ta-da! Ta-da! It's these two, the little devils.
What's this? We heard you were partial to lobster.
Oh, I am.
I love it! I got him in kirkwell.
Isn't that wonderful? Are we to eat it now? Yes, of course we can.
Oh, what a treat! Robert, who needs long-lost relatives when I've got not only you, but Geoffrey and Janet as well.
This will be our family celebration.
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