Pinky and the Brain (1995) s04e05 Episode Script
The Pinky And The Brain Reunion Special
GEE, BRAIN, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TONIGHT? THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT, PINKY-- TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN YES, PINKY AND THE BRAIN ONE IS A GENIUS THE OTHER'S INSANE THEY'RE LABORATORY MICE THEIR GENES HAVE BEEN SPLICED THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN BEFORE EACH NIGHT IS DONE THEIR PLAN WILL BE UNFURLED BY THE DAWNING OF THE SUN THEY'LL TAKE OVER THE WORLD THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN YES, PINKY AND THE BRAIN THEIR TWILIGHT CAMPAIGN IS EASY TO EXPLAIN TO PROVE THEIR MOUSEY WORTH THEY'LL OVERTHROW THE EARTH THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN NARF! CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
Man: FROM THE W.
B.
TELEVISION STUDIOS IN BURBANK, CALIFORNIA, THIS IS ED McMAHON WITH THE PINKY & THE BRAIN REUNION SPECIAL [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING.]
WITH HOST GAVIN MacLEOD, APPEARANCES BY SOME OF HOLLYWOOD'S BIGGEST STARS, AND SPECIAL GUESTS, RIVERSTOMP.
[CELTIC MUSIC PLAYING AND CLOGS CLANKING.]
Ed McMahon: AND NOW, HERE'S YOUR HOST GAVIN MacLEOD.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUDING.]
HELLO, I'M GAVIN MacLEOD.
TONIGHT, WE'LL BRING YOU SOME CLASSIC MOMENTS FROM ONE OF TV's BEST-LOVED OLD COMEDY SHOWS, PINKY AND THE BRAIN.
WE'LL REMINISCE WITH ITS FANS, AND LATER THRILL TO THE PERCUSSIVE DANCE STYLINGS OF RIVERSTOMP.
BUT WHAT MAKES THIS NIGHT SO SPECIAL, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IS THAT WE WILL BE BRINGING YOU THE LIVE REUNION OF TV's GREATEST COMEDY TEAM, PINKY AND THE BRAIN.
PINKY AND THE BRAIN BEGAN LIFE ON THE SLAPPY WHITE SUMMER REPLACEMENT SPECIAL OF 1972, BILLED AS HIPPY AND DIPPY.
[SEVENTIES POP MUSIC PLAYING.]
LIKE, HEY, DIPPY.
LIKE, YES, HIPPY? DID YOU, LIKE, TAKE A BATH TODAY? WHY, MAN? IS THERE, LIKE, ONE MISSING? HA HA HA! LIKE, RIGHT ON.
THEY WEREN'T FUNNY.
THE MATERIAL WAS SO OLD, BERLE WOULDN'T STEAL IT.
BUT I REMEMBER I SAID TO LOU WALLENBURG, "LET'S GIVE 'EM A SHOW.
THEY'RE CHEAP.
I MEAN, THEY EAT FOOD PELLETS, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
" I SAID WHAT?! I SAID, "LOU, THEY'RE MICE.
WE'LL DO A SHOW ABOUT MICE," WHICH WAS A RADICAL THING BACK THEN.
I MEAN, DANNY THOMAS WASN'T A MOUSE.
DICK VAN DYKE WASN'T A MOUSE.
I DON'T EVEN THINK JOEY BISHOP WAS A MOUSE.
I SAID WHAT?! THEIR NAMES WERE CHANGED TO BIG HEAD AND SILLY, AND THEY BEGAN WORK ON THE PILOT EPISODE.
[GULPS.]
[SQUEAKS.]
OH, THIS IS FUN, BIG HEAD.
HERE, YOU TAKE A TURN.
THANKS, SILLY.
WHEE! WHEE! LOOK AT ME! HA HA HA! [GULPS.]
SILLY, WE MUST PREPARE FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.
WHY, BIG HEAD? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TOMORROW NIGHT? THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT, SILLY-- DRINK FROM THE WATER BOTTLE AND FROLIC POINTLESSLY ON THIS WHEEL.
[GULPS.]
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE.]
YOU COULD TELL THEY FELT CONSTRAINED BY THE SHOW'S FORMAT.
SCHMACK! SCHMACK! [BELL RINGS.]
AND YOU COULDN'T BLAME THEM, REALLY.
I MEAN, THE FORMAT WAS BORING AND STUPID, WHICH WAS THE NAME OF AN OLD COMEDY TEAM FROM BURLESQUE.
HA HA HA! SCHMACK! [BELL RINGS.]
WE WERE BROUGHT IN AS HEAD WRITERS DUE TO THE HIT-MAKING ABILITIES WE DEMONSTRATED ON [KISSES STATUE.]
MAKE ROOM FOR MELVIN.
HEH HEH HEH! BEFORE US, MELVIN HAD NO ROOM.
POIT.
THE OBVIOUS PROBLEMS WITH BIG HEAD & SILLY WERE THE CHARACTERIZATIONS WERE UNORIGINAL, [HUMMING.]
THE MEZON SCENE WAS REDUCTIVE, AND THERE WAS NO DRAMATIC TENSION.
[HUMS EGYPTIAN TUNE.]
[SMACK.]
UHH! BOO-HOO-HOO-HOO.
[SMACK.]
OOH! SO, WE DECIDED TO CHANGE THEIR NAMES.
NARF! I CAME UP WITH PINKY.
I NAMED THE OTHER CHARACTER BRIAN, IN HONOR OFME.
BUT PINCUS WAS DOING THE TYPING THAT DAY.
ZORT! SORRY FOR THE TYPO, BRIAN.
THE QUICK BROWN FOX JUMPED OVER THE LAZY-- NINCOMPOOP.
SUBSEQUENTLY, EVERYTHING ELSE FELL INTO PLACE.
IN EACH EPISODE, BRAIN-- A SUPER-INTELLIGENT, GENETICALLY ALTERED LAB MOUSE WOULD TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! FRANKLY, I DON'T KNOW WHERE "NARF" CAME FROM.
NARF! THE NEW FORMULA HAD ITS TRIAL RUN IN THE EPISODE ENTITLED "MAKE ROOM FOR PANTS," THE FIRST OF WHAT WE THINK OF TODAY AS THE CLASSIC PINKY AND THE BRAINS.
NOT ONLY WILL THE ELECTRIC ZIPPER GIVE ME CONTROL OF THE WORLD'S LEADERS, PINKY, BUT IT WILL REVOLUTIONIZE PANTS.
B-L-B-L-B.
NOT TO MENTION KOULATS.
POIT! THE OBVIOUS PROBLEMS WITH THE ELECTRIC ZIPPER ARE THE INTERLOCKING MECHANISM IS HAPHAZARD, THE FASHION SENSE IS REDUCTIVE, [HUMMING.]
AND THEY LOOK UGLY ON CLAMDIGGERS.
WE COULD ALWAYS INVENT ELECTRIC FLY BUTTONS.
NARF! AND NOW, PINKY, AS SOON AS MY PLAN IS PERFECTED, I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD! AND AS SOON AS MY TAPE DISPENSER IS PERFECTED, I WILL TAPE OVER MY FACE! NARF! UNH! [SMACK.]
LOOK, BRAIN.
I'M MUMINCHANCE! HA HA HA! LAAH.
[LAUGHTER.]
THEY HAD THIS THING-- IT WAS A THING 2 GUYS HAVE.
YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN IT.
DEAN AND I HAD THE THING.
ALLEN AND ROSSIE CERTAINLY HAD THE THING.
JAMES ARNESS WAS IN THE THING.
CHARLES GRODIN HAS THAT THING ON HIS HEAD.
BUT PINKY AND BRAIN-- YEAH.
THEY HAD THE THING.
Gavin MacLeod: AND THAT SPECIAL "THING" WAS NEVER MORE IN EVIDENCE THAN IN THE CLASSIC EPISODE "MAKE ROOM FOR MOSES.
" BRAIN, REMIND ME AGAIN WHAT WE'RE DOING ON THIS MOUNTAINSIDE? I TOLD YOU, PINKY.
WE ARE WAITING FOR MOSES TO COME BY ON HIS WAY TO FETCH THE 2 TABLETS.
OH.
HIGH ALTITUDE GIVING YOU A HEADACHE, BRAIN? NO, PINKY.
THE TABLETS WITH THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
WHEN MOSES ISN'T LOOKING, I WILL CHISEL AN 11th COMMANDMENT-- "THOU SHALT OBEY THE BRAIN"-- AND THEREBY TAKE OVER THE WORLD! BRILLIANT, BRAIN! OH, BUT, HOW WILL I KNOW MOSES WHEN I SEE HIM? YOU CAN'T MISS HIM, PINKY.
HE'S A BEARDED MAN WITH A STAFF.
A LARGE STAFF, OR JUST A PUBLICIST AND A GIRL FRIDAY? NOW I AM GETTING A HEADACHE, PINKY.
WELL, MAYBE YOU CAN BORROW SOME TABLETS FROM THIS HAIRY MAN WITH A STICK.
IT'S MOSES, PINKY! MOSES?! OH, BRAIN, WHAT'LL WE DO? DON'T WORRY, PINKY.
WE'LL SIMPLY HIDE BEHIND THIS BUSH.
OH, HEAVENLY FATHER, SHOW ME A SIGN.
REMIND ME TO ADD ONE MORE COMMANDMENT, PINKY-- "THOU SHALT APPLY SALVE TO THE AFFECTED AREA.
" NARF! McMahon: STAY TUNED FOR MORE CLASSIC BITS FROM THE GOLDEN AGE OF PINKY AND THE BRAIN [APPLAUSE.]
QUICKLY, PINKY.
WE MUST CUT 18 MINUTES FROM THIS TAPE.
SOME HILARIOUS FLUBS AND BLOOPIES FROM THE SERIES ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M-- [BURPS.]
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS.]
HA HA HA! HA HA HA! SORRY, WE'LL TAKE IT AGAIN.
HA HA HA! AND THE EXCITEMENT OF RIVERSTOMP [CELTIC MUSIC PLAYING AND CLOGS CLANKING.]
IT'S WORKING PERFECTLY, PINKY.
ABSOLUTELY, BRAIN! NARF! UHWHAT'S WORKING PERFECTLY? MY PLAN, OF COURSE.
OH? WHAT PLAN IS THAT? MY PLANTO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! [CRICKETS CHIRPING.]
Brain: YES, PINKY, OUR PIRATE BROADCAST IS NOW VISIBLE IN EVERY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.
SOON, EVERYONE ON EARTH WILL BE WATCHING OUR REUNION SPECIAL MADE UP ENTIRELY OF CLEVERLY EDITED HOME MOVIES, COMPUTER IMAGING, AND DISCARDED FOOTAGE FROM THE DIRECTOR'S CUT OF KENNETH BRANAGH'S HAMLET.
AND I WILL BROADCAST MY HYPNO-BEAM AND THE WORLD WILL BE HELPLESS TO RESIST ME! BRILLIANT, BRAIN! OH, NO, NO, WAIT.
WHY WOULD ANYONE WATCH A COMPLETELY FABRICATED TELEVISION SPECIAL ABOUT A SHOW THAT NEVER EXISTED? DID YOU WATCH THE BLOSSOM REUNION SPECIAL? OH, EVERY MINUTE, BRAIN.
YOU DIDN'T THINK THAT SHOW ACTUALLY EXISTED, DID YOU? OH! THAT EXPLAINS JOEY LAWRENCE'S SNUB AT THE EMMYS.
MY PLAN IS BASED ON THESE ESSENTIAL POINTS-- ONE, REUNION SPECIALS ARE HUGE RATINGS-GRABBERS.
TWO, I'VE SCHEDULED OUR SPECIAL ON AN EVENING WHEN THE ONLY COMPETITION IS A HOMEBOYS FROM OUTER SPACE RERUN AN ARENA FOOTBALL GAME, AND A NOVA DOCUMENTARY ON SHOELACES.
[CLICK.]
AND FINALLY-- THREE, NO ONE CAN RESIST THE HIGH-STEPPING, TRASH-CAN POUNDING ADRENALINE RUSH OF RIVERSTOMP.
NARF! BUT HOW DID YOU GET ALL THESE CELEBRITIES TO BE ON THE SHOW, BRAIN? I PROMISED THEM ALL THEIR OWN PSYCHIC HOT LINES ONCE I RULE THE WORLD.
POIT! OH, YOU THINK OF EVERYTHING, BRAIN.
UM, THERE'S JUST ONE THING I DON'T UNDERSTAND, THOUGH.
WHY DID YOU CHOOSE GAVIN MacLEOD TO HOST THE SHOW? GEORGE "GOOBER" LINDSEY HAD A SPEAKING ENGAGEMENT.
[POP MUSIC PLAYING.]
MICE MICE BABY WORD TO YOUR BROTHA.
VANILLA ICE-- WASN'T HE SOMETHING? ONCE? NOW HERE'S THE HOST OF TV's BLOOPS AND FLOOBIES, DICK CLARK.
THANK YOU, GAVIN.
FOLKS, TONIGHT, YOU'RE ENJOYING SOME CLASSIC SCENES FROM PINKY AND THE BRAIN.
NOW, AS ANYONE WHO'S WORKED ON A SET CAN TELL YOU, THINGS DON'T ALWAYS GO SO SMOOTHLY.
[CLICK.]
ACTION! THEY'RE OUR ROBOT COUNTERPARTS, PINKY, PROGRAMMED TO IMITATE OUR BEHAVIOR DOWN TO THE SMALLEST DETAIL.
OBSERVE.
NARF! [SMACK.]
OW! OH, I LIKE THEM, BRAIN.
ASK THEM IF THEY'D LIKE TO PRAY BLIDGE ON THURSDAY.
OH, DEAR.
HO HO HO! [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE.]
"PRAY BLIDGE ON THURSDAY.
" NARF! HEH! SILLY ME.
YES, SILLY YOU.
[LAUGHS.]
[BEEP.]
Dick Clark: POOR PINKY.
NOW THE LINE IS JINXED.
HE'LL NEVER GET IT RIGHT.
[CLICK.]
ACTION! THEY'RE OUR ROBOT COUNTERPARTS, PINKY, PROGRAMMED TO IMITATE OUR BEHAVIOR DOWN TO THE SMALLEST DETAIL.
OBSERVE.
NARF! [SMACK.]
OW! OH, I LIKE THEM, BRAIN.
ASK THEM IF THEY'D LIKE TO PRAY--P-PLAY-- BLAH! [LAUGHTER.]
[MAKES RASPBERRY.]
[LAUGHS.]
HA HA.
VERY FUNNY.
[BEEP.]
Clark: WHAT PINKY DOESN'T KNOW IS THAT BRAIN HATES BEING BOPPED ON THE HEAD WITH A PENCIL.
[CLICK.]
ACTION! THEY'RE PROGRAMMED TO IMITATE OUR BEHAVIOR DOWN TO THE SMALLEST DETAIL.
OBSERVE.
NARF! Clark: OH, THERE'S THAT PENCIL AGAIN.
[SMACK.]
OW! Clark: OOH! THAT'S GOTTA SMART.
OH, I LIKE THEM, BRAIN.
ASK THEM IF THEY'D ENJOY-- UM, PARCHEE-- OH, FISH-- OH, ZORT! HEH! THERE I GO AGAIN! [LAUGHS.]
PINKY, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO-- LAPSE INTO UNCONSCIOUSNESS.
AAH! [THUD.]
AS POPULAR AS PINKY AND THE BRAIN ARE IN THE UNITED STATES, THEIR UNIQUE BRAND OF HUMOR HAS WON THEM ADORING FANS ALL OVER THE WORLD.
HERE'S A FASCINATING CLIP FROM THE ITALIANS' PRODUCTION OF THE SHOW KNOWN AS PINKY ET BRAININI.
[MANDOLIN MUSIC PLAYING.]
DO YOU PONDER WHAT I PONDER, PINKY? I THINK SO, BRAININI.
BUT ARUGULA-FLAVORED GELATO? PITIFUL CLOWN-- I SPEAK OF TAKING OVER THE WORLD.
HOW CAN YOU KNOW THE WORLD WHEN YOUR SOUL IS DEAD? YOU STAMP MY PASSPORT WITH POISON, BRAININI.
I MISS MY WHEEL.
NARFO! HA HA HA HA! [SPITS.]
[HELICOPTER WHIRRING.]
MAMA.
MAMMA MIA! THE REASON FOR THEIR UNIVERSAL APPEAL IS OBVIOUS.
WE ALL RELATE TO THEM AS ARCHETYPICAL REPRESENTATIONS OF OUR OWN PSYCHES.
PINKY HAS A VERY POWERFUL INNER CHILD, NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH HIS EXTREMELY POWERFUL OUTER CHILD.
BRAIN, TOO, HAS A SMALL CHILD INSIDE OF HIM.
BUT I SUSPECT IT'S A VERY ANGRY CHILD WITH A VERY LARGE HEAD.
BALDERDASH AND POPPYCOCK! I WONDER IF ANYONE IS REALLY GULLIBLE ENOUGH TO BUY THIS INANE TV PSYCHOBABBLE.
[HUMS.]
PINKY? OH, WHAT? OH, SORRY BRAIN.
HEH.
I WASN'T LISTENING.
MY INNER CHILD IS HAVING A PLAY DATE WITH MY OUTER CHILD.
ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS, PINKY, BY NOW, WE MUST HAVE REACHED A 30 SHARE IN THE RATINGS.
OH, GOODY! SHALL I PRESS THE BIG, RED, SHINY BUTTON? ZORT! UHH! NO, PINKY! OUR VIEWING AUDIENCE WILL BE AT CAPACITY DURING OUR TOUCHING REUNION.
IT IS THEN THAT I WILL BEAM THE HYPNOTIC RAY THROUGH THE TV SCREEN, INTO HOUSEHOLDS THROUGHOUT THE WORLD.
WELL, WHY DON'T WE JUST STAGE OUR TOUCHING REUNION RIGHT NOW, THEN, BRAIN? WHAT? AND MISS RIVERSTOMP? THEIR GAELIC-INFLICTED GARBAGE-CAN-COVER POUNDING SENDS SHIVERS UP MY SPINE! OH, RIGHT! HEH.
WHAT WAS I THINKING? NARF! McMahon: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE OF THE PINKY & BRAIN REUNION SPECIAL, AND MORE EXCITING CLASSIC CLIPS DON'T WORRY, PINKY.
WE'LL JUST STOWAWAY HERE ABOARD THE EXXON VALDEZ.
A VISIT FROM WILLIE TYLER & LESTER WHO YOU CALLIN' DUMMY, SUCKA?! AND A THRILLING PERFORMANCE BY RIVERSTOMP! YES? YES? NO! NO.
EGAD! SURELY YOU JEST! THAT'S SHIRLEY, THE ASSOCIATE SOMETHING OR OTHER.
SHE'S GOT BAD NEWS.
YES? SOMETHING ABOUT SOMETHING SOMETHING BEING SOMETHING.
[GRUNTS.]
UNH! YOU THINK YOU COULD BE A LITTLE MORE SPECIFIC? [NASAL VOICE.]
UM, NO.
I HAD THE PHONE UPSIDE DOWN.
HEH HEH HEH! YES? YES? NO.
NO! THAT WAS JUST WHAT I SAID-- EXCEPT, OF COURSE, FOR "EGAD.
" RIVERSTOMP'S PLANE IS DELAYED.
DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS, PINKY? UM WILLIE TYLER WILL HAVE TO DRINK JUICE WHILE LESTER SINGS BAD, BAD LEROY BROWN? NO, WORSE THAN THAT, PINKY.
IT MEANS MY PLAN IS RUINED! RIVERSTOMP'S PRESENCE ON OUR REUNION SPECIAL WILL ENSURE MAXIMUM VIEWERSHIP FOR OUR TOUCHING REUNION.
IF THEY DON'T SHOW, I'M DOOMED! MMM.
UM, DO I STILL GET TO PUSH THE BIG, RED, SHINY BUTTON, BRAIN? YES, PINKY.
YOU STILL GET TO PUSH THE BIG, RED, SHINY BUTTON.
OH, GOODY, GOODY! NARF! I'M CURIOUS, PINKY.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEAWHY YOU WILL PUSH THE BIG, RED, SHINY BUTTON? UM BECAUSE IT'S BIG? UH-UH.
BECAUSE IT'S RED? NO WELL, THEN, IT MUST BE BECAUSE IT'S SHINY.
ALL RIGHT.
LAST TIME-- MAXIMUM TUNE-IN, HYPNO-BEAM, RULER OF EARTH.
THINGS THAT HAVE A FRINGE! I'M SORRY.
THANK YOU FOR PLAYING THE $25,000 IMBECILE.
HERE'S YOUR CONSOLATION PRIZE.
[SMACK.]
OHH! NARF! WE'LL JUST HAVE TO STALL AND HOPE RIVERSTOMP MAKES IT IN TIME.
IT WAS EITHER THE GRUELING SCHEDULE OR THE LACK OF FRESH STORY LINES, OR BOTH.
BUT BY THE LAST SEASON, YOU COULD SEE THEY WERE INDIFFERENT AND APATHETIC-- WHICH WAS THE NAME OF ANOTHER VAUDEVILLE TEAM.
HA HA HA! SCHMACK! SCHMACK! [BELL RINGS.]
PINKY, ARE YOU PONDERING-- YOU KNOW.
I THINK SO, BRAIN, BUT, UHH, SOMETHING ABOUT A DUCK.
YOU'RE PROBABLY AN IDIOT, PINKY.
[SMACK.]
UHH! [YAWNS.]
ZORT.
TONIGHT'S PLAN IS AHH, WHO CARES.
IT'S A STINKER LIKE ALL THE OTHERS.
I'M NOT LISTENING, BRAIN.
I'M DOING SOMETHING STUPID OVER HERE.
TROZ--OR, UNH, SOMETHING LIKE IT.
YES, I SEE.
WELL, BETTER GET SOME SLEEP SO WE CAN-- [YAWNS.]
PREPARE FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.
WHAT ARE WE DOING TOMORROW NIGHT, BRAIN? SAME THING WE'VE DONE EVERY NIGHT FOR THE LAST 15 YEARS, PINKY-- [YAWNS.]
TRY TO TAKE OVER THE-- [SNORES.]
[SIGHS AND SNORES.]
THEY ASKED FOR MORE MONEY.
WE LOVED THEM, BUT NOT THAT MUCH.
THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT IS CLOSING ACME LABS, PINKY.
APPARENTLY, THEY FOUND MOUSE DROPPINGS EVERYWHERE.
[WAVERING VOICE.]
OH, BRAIN! WHAT WILL WE DO? PINKY, WITH MY GENIUS AND YOUR KNOWING A GENIUS, WE'LL GET BY.
Brain: * WHAT A BIG SCHLEP TO TUCAMCARI * Both: * WHAT A BIG SCHLEP FOR SURE * * WHAT A BIG SCHLEP TO TUCAMCARI * TO A GIRL COVERED WITH FUR COME, PINKY.
[MECHANICAL ARM BUZZES.]
WE MUST PREPARE FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.
WHY, BRAIN? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TOMORROW NIGHT? COLLECT RESIDUALS.
[BUZZING.]
THAT'S IT, PINKY.
WE'RE OUT OF TIME.
RIVERSTOMP IS OBVIOUSLY NOT GOING TO MAKE IT.
OH, THAT'S TOO BAD, BRAIN.
I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO THEIR GRACEFUL LOUDNESS.
ZORT! AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BEFORE WE PRESENT THE TOUCHING REUNION OF PINKY AND THE BRAIN, HERE'S RIVERS-- UH, RIVERSTRETCH.
UH, I MEAN, HEH, HEH HEH! I, UH--I, UH, UH, UH-- I WAS MURRAY.
UH, REMEMBER THAT EPISODE WHERE I FELL IN LOVE WITH MARY? HEH HEH HEH.
A-AND HOW ABOUT THE ONE WHERE, UH-- WHERE I WORE THE WEDDING GOWN AND THREW SUE ANN ON THE CAKE? [AUDIENCE MURMURING.]
DID YOU EVER CATCH THE LOVE BOAT WITH CESAR ROMERO? WE'LL JUST HAVE TO HAVE OUR TOUCHING REUNION NOW, PINKY.
HOPEFULLY THE LACK OF COMPETITION HAS BEEN ENOUGH TO GET THE WORLD TO TUNE IN.
LET US CHANGE INTO OUR MAKE UP AND COSTUMES.
OH, WE GET TO PLAY DRESS-UP! CAN I WEAR THIS BUNNY COSTUME? OR DO YOU PREFER ME IN THIS TAFFETA TUTU? FORGET THE COSTUME.
JUSTTRY AND LOOK OLD AND DEPRESSED.
YOU MEAN, LIKE YOU? AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.
HERE THEY ARE, TOGETHER AGAIN-- THE ONE AND ONLY PINKY AND THE BRAIN.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING.]
BRAIN? PINKY, IS THAT YOU? BRAIN! PINKY! [CHEERS.]
[CELTIC MUSIC PLAYING AND CLOGS CLANKING.]
OOF! OOF! UNH! UHH! UHH! [POW.]
AAH! PINKY--OW! THERE'S ONLY-- UHH! A MOMENT TO SPARE! AAH! PUSH THE BUTTON! OW! THE BUTTON? THE--OW! BIG, RED ONE! THE BIG, RED, SHINY ONE? YES! OW! OH, THE PAIN.
THE BIG, RED, SHINY BUTTON! WHAT ABOUT IT? ZORT! PUSH IT!! [THUD.]
[BRAIN GRUNTS.]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
OK.
[BEEP.]
[BUZZ.]
[ZAPPING.]
[BUZZING.]
I'VE DONE IT, PINKY.
NOW, EVERYONE IN THE WORLD IS UNDER MY CONTROLAT LAST.
WELL, IT COULDN'T HAPPEN TO A NICER MOUSE SEEKING GLOBAL DOMINATION, BRAIN.
[DIALS.]
GIVE ME THE PRESIDENT.
[INDISTINCT MUMBLING.]
THIS IS THE BRAIN, NEW LEADER OF THE ENTIRE GLOBE.
[INDISTINCT MUMBLING.]
NO, THIS ISN'T A JOKE.
I ORDER YOU TO-- [DIAL TONE.]
HE HUNG UP.
I--I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT, PINKY.
I HAD EVERYTHING WORKED OUT.
WHAT COULD HAVE GONE WRONG? SHH, QUIET, BRAIN.
THIS DOCUMENTARY ON SHOELACES IS AMAZING.
DID YOU KNOW THAT THE LITTLE PLASTIC THINGIES ON THE END OF YOUR SHOELACES ARE CALLED AGLETS? HEH! ALL THIS TIME, I THOUGHT THEY WERE CALLED LITTLE PLASTIC THINGIES ON THE END OF YOUR SHOELACES.
HEH HEH, AGLETS.
YOU DON'T SAY.
HEH HEH.
IMAGINE THAT-- AGLETS.
AGLETS AGLETS!! WELL, YOU CAN CALL THEM "THINGIES" IF YOU REALLY WANT TO.
NOBODY WATCHED OUR REUNION SPECIAL, PINKY.
WE CAME IN LAST IN THE RATINGS.
PERHAPS IF WE'D BEEN REUNITED WITH SHOELACES.
ORDINARILY, I'D HIT YOU WITH A PENCIL FOR MAKING SUCH AN INANE REMARK.
BUT SINCE WE'RE DISCUSSING TELEVISION, I'LL BOW TO YOUR STUPIDITY.
WELL, THANK YOU, BRAIN.
NARF! COME, PINKY.
WE MUST RETURN TO THE LAB TO PREPARE FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.
WHY, BRAIN? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TOMORROW NIGHT? THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT, PINKY.
TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! YOU MEAN THAT'S WHAT WE REALLY DO? NARF! HA HA HA! IT'S JUST LIKE ON TV! NO, PINKY.
NOTHING IS JUST LIKE ON TV.
[PIANO PLAYING.]
SCHMACK! SCHMACK! [BELL RINGS.]
WELL, PRACTICALLY NOTHING.
THEY'RE DINKY * THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN * BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN I'M THE ONE CALLED LARRY.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN YES, PINKY AND THE BRAIN ONE IS A GENIUS THE OTHER'S INSANE THEY'RE LABORATORY MICE THEIR GENES HAVE BEEN SPLICED THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN BEFORE EACH NIGHT IS DONE THEIR PLAN WILL BE UNFURLED BY THE DAWNING OF THE SUN THEY'LL TAKE OVER THE WORLD THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN YES, PINKY AND THE BRAIN THEIR TWILIGHT CAMPAIGN IS EASY TO EXPLAIN TO PROVE THEIR MOUSEY WORTH THEY'LL OVERTHROW THE EARTH THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN NARF! CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
Man: FROM THE W.
B.
TELEVISION STUDIOS IN BURBANK, CALIFORNIA, THIS IS ED McMAHON WITH THE PINKY & THE BRAIN REUNION SPECIAL [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING.]
WITH HOST GAVIN MacLEOD, APPEARANCES BY SOME OF HOLLYWOOD'S BIGGEST STARS, AND SPECIAL GUESTS, RIVERSTOMP.
[CELTIC MUSIC PLAYING AND CLOGS CLANKING.]
Ed McMahon: AND NOW, HERE'S YOUR HOST GAVIN MacLEOD.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUDING.]
HELLO, I'M GAVIN MacLEOD.
TONIGHT, WE'LL BRING YOU SOME CLASSIC MOMENTS FROM ONE OF TV's BEST-LOVED OLD COMEDY SHOWS, PINKY AND THE BRAIN.
WE'LL REMINISCE WITH ITS FANS, AND LATER THRILL TO THE PERCUSSIVE DANCE STYLINGS OF RIVERSTOMP.
BUT WHAT MAKES THIS NIGHT SO SPECIAL, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IS THAT WE WILL BE BRINGING YOU THE LIVE REUNION OF TV's GREATEST COMEDY TEAM, PINKY AND THE BRAIN.
PINKY AND THE BRAIN BEGAN LIFE ON THE SLAPPY WHITE SUMMER REPLACEMENT SPECIAL OF 1972, BILLED AS HIPPY AND DIPPY.
[SEVENTIES POP MUSIC PLAYING.]
LIKE, HEY, DIPPY.
LIKE, YES, HIPPY? DID YOU, LIKE, TAKE A BATH TODAY? WHY, MAN? IS THERE, LIKE, ONE MISSING? HA HA HA! LIKE, RIGHT ON.
THEY WEREN'T FUNNY.
THE MATERIAL WAS SO OLD, BERLE WOULDN'T STEAL IT.
BUT I REMEMBER I SAID TO LOU WALLENBURG, "LET'S GIVE 'EM A SHOW.
THEY'RE CHEAP.
I MEAN, THEY EAT FOOD PELLETS, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
" I SAID WHAT?! I SAID, "LOU, THEY'RE MICE.
WE'LL DO A SHOW ABOUT MICE," WHICH WAS A RADICAL THING BACK THEN.
I MEAN, DANNY THOMAS WASN'T A MOUSE.
DICK VAN DYKE WASN'T A MOUSE.
I DON'T EVEN THINK JOEY BISHOP WAS A MOUSE.
I SAID WHAT?! THEIR NAMES WERE CHANGED TO BIG HEAD AND SILLY, AND THEY BEGAN WORK ON THE PILOT EPISODE.
[GULPS.]
[SQUEAKS.]
OH, THIS IS FUN, BIG HEAD.
HERE, YOU TAKE A TURN.
THANKS, SILLY.
WHEE! WHEE! LOOK AT ME! HA HA HA! [GULPS.]
SILLY, WE MUST PREPARE FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.
WHY, BIG HEAD? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TOMORROW NIGHT? THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT, SILLY-- DRINK FROM THE WATER BOTTLE AND FROLIC POINTLESSLY ON THIS WHEEL.
[GULPS.]
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE.]
YOU COULD TELL THEY FELT CONSTRAINED BY THE SHOW'S FORMAT.
SCHMACK! SCHMACK! [BELL RINGS.]
AND YOU COULDN'T BLAME THEM, REALLY.
I MEAN, THE FORMAT WAS BORING AND STUPID, WHICH WAS THE NAME OF AN OLD COMEDY TEAM FROM BURLESQUE.
HA HA HA! SCHMACK! [BELL RINGS.]
WE WERE BROUGHT IN AS HEAD WRITERS DUE TO THE HIT-MAKING ABILITIES WE DEMONSTRATED ON [KISSES STATUE.]
MAKE ROOM FOR MELVIN.
HEH HEH HEH! BEFORE US, MELVIN HAD NO ROOM.
POIT.
THE OBVIOUS PROBLEMS WITH BIG HEAD & SILLY WERE THE CHARACTERIZATIONS WERE UNORIGINAL, [HUMMING.]
THE MEZON SCENE WAS REDUCTIVE, AND THERE WAS NO DRAMATIC TENSION.
[HUMS EGYPTIAN TUNE.]
[SMACK.]
UHH! BOO-HOO-HOO-HOO.
[SMACK.]
OOH! SO, WE DECIDED TO CHANGE THEIR NAMES.
NARF! I CAME UP WITH PINKY.
I NAMED THE OTHER CHARACTER BRIAN, IN HONOR OFME.
BUT PINCUS WAS DOING THE TYPING THAT DAY.
ZORT! SORRY FOR THE TYPO, BRIAN.
THE QUICK BROWN FOX JUMPED OVER THE LAZY-- NINCOMPOOP.
SUBSEQUENTLY, EVERYTHING ELSE FELL INTO PLACE.
IN EACH EPISODE, BRAIN-- A SUPER-INTELLIGENT, GENETICALLY ALTERED LAB MOUSE WOULD TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! FRANKLY, I DON'T KNOW WHERE "NARF" CAME FROM.
NARF! THE NEW FORMULA HAD ITS TRIAL RUN IN THE EPISODE ENTITLED "MAKE ROOM FOR PANTS," THE FIRST OF WHAT WE THINK OF TODAY AS THE CLASSIC PINKY AND THE BRAINS.
NOT ONLY WILL THE ELECTRIC ZIPPER GIVE ME CONTROL OF THE WORLD'S LEADERS, PINKY, BUT IT WILL REVOLUTIONIZE PANTS.
B-L-B-L-B.
NOT TO MENTION KOULATS.
POIT! THE OBVIOUS PROBLEMS WITH THE ELECTRIC ZIPPER ARE THE INTERLOCKING MECHANISM IS HAPHAZARD, THE FASHION SENSE IS REDUCTIVE, [HUMMING.]
AND THEY LOOK UGLY ON CLAMDIGGERS.
WE COULD ALWAYS INVENT ELECTRIC FLY BUTTONS.
NARF! AND NOW, PINKY, AS SOON AS MY PLAN IS PERFECTED, I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD! AND AS SOON AS MY TAPE DISPENSER IS PERFECTED, I WILL TAPE OVER MY FACE! NARF! UNH! [SMACK.]
LOOK, BRAIN.
I'M MUMINCHANCE! HA HA HA! LAAH.
[LAUGHTER.]
THEY HAD THIS THING-- IT WAS A THING 2 GUYS HAVE.
YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN IT.
DEAN AND I HAD THE THING.
ALLEN AND ROSSIE CERTAINLY HAD THE THING.
JAMES ARNESS WAS IN THE THING.
CHARLES GRODIN HAS THAT THING ON HIS HEAD.
BUT PINKY AND BRAIN-- YEAH.
THEY HAD THE THING.
Gavin MacLeod: AND THAT SPECIAL "THING" WAS NEVER MORE IN EVIDENCE THAN IN THE CLASSIC EPISODE "MAKE ROOM FOR MOSES.
" BRAIN, REMIND ME AGAIN WHAT WE'RE DOING ON THIS MOUNTAINSIDE? I TOLD YOU, PINKY.
WE ARE WAITING FOR MOSES TO COME BY ON HIS WAY TO FETCH THE 2 TABLETS.
OH.
HIGH ALTITUDE GIVING YOU A HEADACHE, BRAIN? NO, PINKY.
THE TABLETS WITH THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
WHEN MOSES ISN'T LOOKING, I WILL CHISEL AN 11th COMMANDMENT-- "THOU SHALT OBEY THE BRAIN"-- AND THEREBY TAKE OVER THE WORLD! BRILLIANT, BRAIN! OH, BUT, HOW WILL I KNOW MOSES WHEN I SEE HIM? YOU CAN'T MISS HIM, PINKY.
HE'S A BEARDED MAN WITH A STAFF.
A LARGE STAFF, OR JUST A PUBLICIST AND A GIRL FRIDAY? NOW I AM GETTING A HEADACHE, PINKY.
WELL, MAYBE YOU CAN BORROW SOME TABLETS FROM THIS HAIRY MAN WITH A STICK.
IT'S MOSES, PINKY! MOSES?! OH, BRAIN, WHAT'LL WE DO? DON'T WORRY, PINKY.
WE'LL SIMPLY HIDE BEHIND THIS BUSH.
OH, HEAVENLY FATHER, SHOW ME A SIGN.
REMIND ME TO ADD ONE MORE COMMANDMENT, PINKY-- "THOU SHALT APPLY SALVE TO THE AFFECTED AREA.
" NARF! McMahon: STAY TUNED FOR MORE CLASSIC BITS FROM THE GOLDEN AGE OF PINKY AND THE BRAIN [APPLAUSE.]
QUICKLY, PINKY.
WE MUST CUT 18 MINUTES FROM THIS TAPE.
SOME HILARIOUS FLUBS AND BLOOPIES FROM THE SERIES ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M-- [BURPS.]
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS.]
HA HA HA! HA HA HA! SORRY, WE'LL TAKE IT AGAIN.
HA HA HA! AND THE EXCITEMENT OF RIVERSTOMP [CELTIC MUSIC PLAYING AND CLOGS CLANKING.]
IT'S WORKING PERFECTLY, PINKY.
ABSOLUTELY, BRAIN! NARF! UHWHAT'S WORKING PERFECTLY? MY PLAN, OF COURSE.
OH? WHAT PLAN IS THAT? MY PLANTO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! [CRICKETS CHIRPING.]
Brain: YES, PINKY, OUR PIRATE BROADCAST IS NOW VISIBLE IN EVERY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.
SOON, EVERYONE ON EARTH WILL BE WATCHING OUR REUNION SPECIAL MADE UP ENTIRELY OF CLEVERLY EDITED HOME MOVIES, COMPUTER IMAGING, AND DISCARDED FOOTAGE FROM THE DIRECTOR'S CUT OF KENNETH BRANAGH'S HAMLET.
AND I WILL BROADCAST MY HYPNO-BEAM AND THE WORLD WILL BE HELPLESS TO RESIST ME! BRILLIANT, BRAIN! OH, NO, NO, WAIT.
WHY WOULD ANYONE WATCH A COMPLETELY FABRICATED TELEVISION SPECIAL ABOUT A SHOW THAT NEVER EXISTED? DID YOU WATCH THE BLOSSOM REUNION SPECIAL? OH, EVERY MINUTE, BRAIN.
YOU DIDN'T THINK THAT SHOW ACTUALLY EXISTED, DID YOU? OH! THAT EXPLAINS JOEY LAWRENCE'S SNUB AT THE EMMYS.
MY PLAN IS BASED ON THESE ESSENTIAL POINTS-- ONE, REUNION SPECIALS ARE HUGE RATINGS-GRABBERS.
TWO, I'VE SCHEDULED OUR SPECIAL ON AN EVENING WHEN THE ONLY COMPETITION IS A HOMEBOYS FROM OUTER SPACE RERUN AN ARENA FOOTBALL GAME, AND A NOVA DOCUMENTARY ON SHOELACES.
[CLICK.]
AND FINALLY-- THREE, NO ONE CAN RESIST THE HIGH-STEPPING, TRASH-CAN POUNDING ADRENALINE RUSH OF RIVERSTOMP.
NARF! BUT HOW DID YOU GET ALL THESE CELEBRITIES TO BE ON THE SHOW, BRAIN? I PROMISED THEM ALL THEIR OWN PSYCHIC HOT LINES ONCE I RULE THE WORLD.
POIT! OH, YOU THINK OF EVERYTHING, BRAIN.
UM, THERE'S JUST ONE THING I DON'T UNDERSTAND, THOUGH.
WHY DID YOU CHOOSE GAVIN MacLEOD TO HOST THE SHOW? GEORGE "GOOBER" LINDSEY HAD A SPEAKING ENGAGEMENT.
[POP MUSIC PLAYING.]
MICE MICE BABY WORD TO YOUR BROTHA.
VANILLA ICE-- WASN'T HE SOMETHING? ONCE? NOW HERE'S THE HOST OF TV's BLOOPS AND FLOOBIES, DICK CLARK.
THANK YOU, GAVIN.
FOLKS, TONIGHT, YOU'RE ENJOYING SOME CLASSIC SCENES FROM PINKY AND THE BRAIN.
NOW, AS ANYONE WHO'S WORKED ON A SET CAN TELL YOU, THINGS DON'T ALWAYS GO SO SMOOTHLY.
[CLICK.]
ACTION! THEY'RE OUR ROBOT COUNTERPARTS, PINKY, PROGRAMMED TO IMITATE OUR BEHAVIOR DOWN TO THE SMALLEST DETAIL.
OBSERVE.
NARF! [SMACK.]
OW! OH, I LIKE THEM, BRAIN.
ASK THEM IF THEY'D LIKE TO PRAY BLIDGE ON THURSDAY.
OH, DEAR.
HO HO HO! [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE.]
"PRAY BLIDGE ON THURSDAY.
" NARF! HEH! SILLY ME.
YES, SILLY YOU.
[LAUGHS.]
[BEEP.]
Dick Clark: POOR PINKY.
NOW THE LINE IS JINXED.
HE'LL NEVER GET IT RIGHT.
[CLICK.]
ACTION! THEY'RE OUR ROBOT COUNTERPARTS, PINKY, PROGRAMMED TO IMITATE OUR BEHAVIOR DOWN TO THE SMALLEST DETAIL.
OBSERVE.
NARF! [SMACK.]
OW! OH, I LIKE THEM, BRAIN.
ASK THEM IF THEY'D LIKE TO PRAY--P-PLAY-- BLAH! [LAUGHTER.]
[MAKES RASPBERRY.]
[LAUGHS.]
HA HA.
VERY FUNNY.
[BEEP.]
Clark: WHAT PINKY DOESN'T KNOW IS THAT BRAIN HATES BEING BOPPED ON THE HEAD WITH A PENCIL.
[CLICK.]
ACTION! THEY'RE PROGRAMMED TO IMITATE OUR BEHAVIOR DOWN TO THE SMALLEST DETAIL.
OBSERVE.
NARF! Clark: OH, THERE'S THAT PENCIL AGAIN.
[SMACK.]
OW! Clark: OOH! THAT'S GOTTA SMART.
OH, I LIKE THEM, BRAIN.
ASK THEM IF THEY'D ENJOY-- UM, PARCHEE-- OH, FISH-- OH, ZORT! HEH! THERE I GO AGAIN! [LAUGHS.]
PINKY, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO-- LAPSE INTO UNCONSCIOUSNESS.
AAH! [THUD.]
AS POPULAR AS PINKY AND THE BRAIN ARE IN THE UNITED STATES, THEIR UNIQUE BRAND OF HUMOR HAS WON THEM ADORING FANS ALL OVER THE WORLD.
HERE'S A FASCINATING CLIP FROM THE ITALIANS' PRODUCTION OF THE SHOW KNOWN AS PINKY ET BRAININI.
[MANDOLIN MUSIC PLAYING.]
DO YOU PONDER WHAT I PONDER, PINKY? I THINK SO, BRAININI.
BUT ARUGULA-FLAVORED GELATO? PITIFUL CLOWN-- I SPEAK OF TAKING OVER THE WORLD.
HOW CAN YOU KNOW THE WORLD WHEN YOUR SOUL IS DEAD? YOU STAMP MY PASSPORT WITH POISON, BRAININI.
I MISS MY WHEEL.
NARFO! HA HA HA HA! [SPITS.]
[HELICOPTER WHIRRING.]
MAMA.
MAMMA MIA! THE REASON FOR THEIR UNIVERSAL APPEAL IS OBVIOUS.
WE ALL RELATE TO THEM AS ARCHETYPICAL REPRESENTATIONS OF OUR OWN PSYCHES.
PINKY HAS A VERY POWERFUL INNER CHILD, NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH HIS EXTREMELY POWERFUL OUTER CHILD.
BRAIN, TOO, HAS A SMALL CHILD INSIDE OF HIM.
BUT I SUSPECT IT'S A VERY ANGRY CHILD WITH A VERY LARGE HEAD.
BALDERDASH AND POPPYCOCK! I WONDER IF ANYONE IS REALLY GULLIBLE ENOUGH TO BUY THIS INANE TV PSYCHOBABBLE.
[HUMS.]
PINKY? OH, WHAT? OH, SORRY BRAIN.
HEH.
I WASN'T LISTENING.
MY INNER CHILD IS HAVING A PLAY DATE WITH MY OUTER CHILD.
ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS, PINKY, BY NOW, WE MUST HAVE REACHED A 30 SHARE IN THE RATINGS.
OH, GOODY! SHALL I PRESS THE BIG, RED, SHINY BUTTON? ZORT! UHH! NO, PINKY! OUR VIEWING AUDIENCE WILL BE AT CAPACITY DURING OUR TOUCHING REUNION.
IT IS THEN THAT I WILL BEAM THE HYPNOTIC RAY THROUGH THE TV SCREEN, INTO HOUSEHOLDS THROUGHOUT THE WORLD.
WELL, WHY DON'T WE JUST STAGE OUR TOUCHING REUNION RIGHT NOW, THEN, BRAIN? WHAT? AND MISS RIVERSTOMP? THEIR GAELIC-INFLICTED GARBAGE-CAN-COVER POUNDING SENDS SHIVERS UP MY SPINE! OH, RIGHT! HEH.
WHAT WAS I THINKING? NARF! McMahon: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE OF THE PINKY & BRAIN REUNION SPECIAL, AND MORE EXCITING CLASSIC CLIPS DON'T WORRY, PINKY.
WE'LL JUST STOWAWAY HERE ABOARD THE EXXON VALDEZ.
A VISIT FROM WILLIE TYLER & LESTER WHO YOU CALLIN' DUMMY, SUCKA?! AND A THRILLING PERFORMANCE BY RIVERSTOMP! YES? YES? NO! NO.
EGAD! SURELY YOU JEST! THAT'S SHIRLEY, THE ASSOCIATE SOMETHING OR OTHER.
SHE'S GOT BAD NEWS.
YES? SOMETHING ABOUT SOMETHING SOMETHING BEING SOMETHING.
[GRUNTS.]
UNH! YOU THINK YOU COULD BE A LITTLE MORE SPECIFIC? [NASAL VOICE.]
UM, NO.
I HAD THE PHONE UPSIDE DOWN.
HEH HEH HEH! YES? YES? NO.
NO! THAT WAS JUST WHAT I SAID-- EXCEPT, OF COURSE, FOR "EGAD.
" RIVERSTOMP'S PLANE IS DELAYED.
DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS, PINKY? UM WILLIE TYLER WILL HAVE TO DRINK JUICE WHILE LESTER SINGS BAD, BAD LEROY BROWN? NO, WORSE THAN THAT, PINKY.
IT MEANS MY PLAN IS RUINED! RIVERSTOMP'S PRESENCE ON OUR REUNION SPECIAL WILL ENSURE MAXIMUM VIEWERSHIP FOR OUR TOUCHING REUNION.
IF THEY DON'T SHOW, I'M DOOMED! MMM.
UM, DO I STILL GET TO PUSH THE BIG, RED, SHINY BUTTON, BRAIN? YES, PINKY.
YOU STILL GET TO PUSH THE BIG, RED, SHINY BUTTON.
OH, GOODY, GOODY! NARF! I'M CURIOUS, PINKY.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEAWHY YOU WILL PUSH THE BIG, RED, SHINY BUTTON? UM BECAUSE IT'S BIG? UH-UH.
BECAUSE IT'S RED? NO WELL, THEN, IT MUST BE BECAUSE IT'S SHINY.
ALL RIGHT.
LAST TIME-- MAXIMUM TUNE-IN, HYPNO-BEAM, RULER OF EARTH.
THINGS THAT HAVE A FRINGE! I'M SORRY.
THANK YOU FOR PLAYING THE $25,000 IMBECILE.
HERE'S YOUR CONSOLATION PRIZE.
[SMACK.]
OHH! NARF! WE'LL JUST HAVE TO STALL AND HOPE RIVERSTOMP MAKES IT IN TIME.
IT WAS EITHER THE GRUELING SCHEDULE OR THE LACK OF FRESH STORY LINES, OR BOTH.
BUT BY THE LAST SEASON, YOU COULD SEE THEY WERE INDIFFERENT AND APATHETIC-- WHICH WAS THE NAME OF ANOTHER VAUDEVILLE TEAM.
HA HA HA! SCHMACK! SCHMACK! [BELL RINGS.]
PINKY, ARE YOU PONDERING-- YOU KNOW.
I THINK SO, BRAIN, BUT, UHH, SOMETHING ABOUT A DUCK.
YOU'RE PROBABLY AN IDIOT, PINKY.
[SMACK.]
UHH! [YAWNS.]
ZORT.
TONIGHT'S PLAN IS AHH, WHO CARES.
IT'S A STINKER LIKE ALL THE OTHERS.
I'M NOT LISTENING, BRAIN.
I'M DOING SOMETHING STUPID OVER HERE.
TROZ--OR, UNH, SOMETHING LIKE IT.
YES, I SEE.
WELL, BETTER GET SOME SLEEP SO WE CAN-- [YAWNS.]
PREPARE FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.
WHAT ARE WE DOING TOMORROW NIGHT, BRAIN? SAME THING WE'VE DONE EVERY NIGHT FOR THE LAST 15 YEARS, PINKY-- [YAWNS.]
TRY TO TAKE OVER THE-- [SNORES.]
[SIGHS AND SNORES.]
THEY ASKED FOR MORE MONEY.
WE LOVED THEM, BUT NOT THAT MUCH.
THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT IS CLOSING ACME LABS, PINKY.
APPARENTLY, THEY FOUND MOUSE DROPPINGS EVERYWHERE.
[WAVERING VOICE.]
OH, BRAIN! WHAT WILL WE DO? PINKY, WITH MY GENIUS AND YOUR KNOWING A GENIUS, WE'LL GET BY.
Brain: * WHAT A BIG SCHLEP TO TUCAMCARI * Both: * WHAT A BIG SCHLEP FOR SURE * * WHAT A BIG SCHLEP TO TUCAMCARI * TO A GIRL COVERED WITH FUR COME, PINKY.
[MECHANICAL ARM BUZZES.]
WE MUST PREPARE FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.
WHY, BRAIN? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TOMORROW NIGHT? COLLECT RESIDUALS.
[BUZZING.]
THAT'S IT, PINKY.
WE'RE OUT OF TIME.
RIVERSTOMP IS OBVIOUSLY NOT GOING TO MAKE IT.
OH, THAT'S TOO BAD, BRAIN.
I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO THEIR GRACEFUL LOUDNESS.
ZORT! AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BEFORE WE PRESENT THE TOUCHING REUNION OF PINKY AND THE BRAIN, HERE'S RIVERS-- UH, RIVERSTRETCH.
UH, I MEAN, HEH, HEH HEH! I, UH--I, UH, UH, UH-- I WAS MURRAY.
UH, REMEMBER THAT EPISODE WHERE I FELL IN LOVE WITH MARY? HEH HEH HEH.
A-AND HOW ABOUT THE ONE WHERE, UH-- WHERE I WORE THE WEDDING GOWN AND THREW SUE ANN ON THE CAKE? [AUDIENCE MURMURING.]
DID YOU EVER CATCH THE LOVE BOAT WITH CESAR ROMERO? WE'LL JUST HAVE TO HAVE OUR TOUCHING REUNION NOW, PINKY.
HOPEFULLY THE LACK OF COMPETITION HAS BEEN ENOUGH TO GET THE WORLD TO TUNE IN.
LET US CHANGE INTO OUR MAKE UP AND COSTUMES.
OH, WE GET TO PLAY DRESS-UP! CAN I WEAR THIS BUNNY COSTUME? OR DO YOU PREFER ME IN THIS TAFFETA TUTU? FORGET THE COSTUME.
JUSTTRY AND LOOK OLD AND DEPRESSED.
YOU MEAN, LIKE YOU? AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.
HERE THEY ARE, TOGETHER AGAIN-- THE ONE AND ONLY PINKY AND THE BRAIN.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING.]
BRAIN? PINKY, IS THAT YOU? BRAIN! PINKY! [CHEERS.]
[CELTIC MUSIC PLAYING AND CLOGS CLANKING.]
OOF! OOF! UNH! UHH! UHH! [POW.]
AAH! PINKY--OW! THERE'S ONLY-- UHH! A MOMENT TO SPARE! AAH! PUSH THE BUTTON! OW! THE BUTTON? THE--OW! BIG, RED ONE! THE BIG, RED, SHINY ONE? YES! OW! OH, THE PAIN.
THE BIG, RED, SHINY BUTTON! WHAT ABOUT IT? ZORT! PUSH IT!! [THUD.]
[BRAIN GRUNTS.]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
OK.
[BEEP.]
[BUZZ.]
[ZAPPING.]
[BUZZING.]
I'VE DONE IT, PINKY.
NOW, EVERYONE IN THE WORLD IS UNDER MY CONTROLAT LAST.
WELL, IT COULDN'T HAPPEN TO A NICER MOUSE SEEKING GLOBAL DOMINATION, BRAIN.
[DIALS.]
GIVE ME THE PRESIDENT.
[INDISTINCT MUMBLING.]
THIS IS THE BRAIN, NEW LEADER OF THE ENTIRE GLOBE.
[INDISTINCT MUMBLING.]
NO, THIS ISN'T A JOKE.
I ORDER YOU TO-- [DIAL TONE.]
HE HUNG UP.
I--I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT, PINKY.
I HAD EVERYTHING WORKED OUT.
WHAT COULD HAVE GONE WRONG? SHH, QUIET, BRAIN.
THIS DOCUMENTARY ON SHOELACES IS AMAZING.
DID YOU KNOW THAT THE LITTLE PLASTIC THINGIES ON THE END OF YOUR SHOELACES ARE CALLED AGLETS? HEH! ALL THIS TIME, I THOUGHT THEY WERE CALLED LITTLE PLASTIC THINGIES ON THE END OF YOUR SHOELACES.
HEH HEH, AGLETS.
YOU DON'T SAY.
HEH HEH.
IMAGINE THAT-- AGLETS.
AGLETS AGLETS!! WELL, YOU CAN CALL THEM "THINGIES" IF YOU REALLY WANT TO.
NOBODY WATCHED OUR REUNION SPECIAL, PINKY.
WE CAME IN LAST IN THE RATINGS.
PERHAPS IF WE'D BEEN REUNITED WITH SHOELACES.
ORDINARILY, I'D HIT YOU WITH A PENCIL FOR MAKING SUCH AN INANE REMARK.
BUT SINCE WE'RE DISCUSSING TELEVISION, I'LL BOW TO YOUR STUPIDITY.
WELL, THANK YOU, BRAIN.
NARF! COME, PINKY.
WE MUST RETURN TO THE LAB TO PREPARE FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.
WHY, BRAIN? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TOMORROW NIGHT? THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT, PINKY.
TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! YOU MEAN THAT'S WHAT WE REALLY DO? NARF! HA HA HA! IT'S JUST LIKE ON TV! NO, PINKY.
NOTHING IS JUST LIKE ON TV.
[PIANO PLAYING.]
SCHMACK! SCHMACK! [BELL RINGS.]
WELL, PRACTICALLY NOTHING.
THEY'RE DINKY * THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN * BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN I'M THE ONE CALLED LARRY.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL