SeaChange (1998) s04e05 Episode Script

1 Knox, Professor Knox.
Does anyone know what this guy looks like? OK.
I'm going to have to call you back.
Hiya.
Findlay.
Striplands Mining.
I'm really hoping this is Pearl Bay.
Striplands suspended me while they look into my misconduct.
- I'm sorry.
- Judgement was clouded.
- By what? - You.
This is becoming a bit of a habit, Mr Russo.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I was trying to express my creativity and this woman tried to kill someone! And how long was your boyfriend, with his ridiculous topknot, waiting in the wings? What about the step with the wife running off with the brewer? You can't help yourself, can you, with the interfering? Me? Yes, you're like a control freak who can't make up her mind.
You take away my liquor licence, then you give it back.
Then you want me to hire your daughter -- and then you want me to fire her.
Fine.
I'm going to give you until tomorrow lunchtime to have that contract signed.
Perfect, perfect.
So I sell you my caravan park for nothing and then later you give me double its real value back? Yeah, I thought about it, Bob.
The answer's no.
'And it's Radio Riley, peoples, all the way around the Bay -- where the birds are all chirp-chirping and the bees are all buzz-buzzing because today's the day love comes back into town.
You'd better love him tender, love him do because, baby, he's never giving up on you.
Kevin! You weren't about to just throw something in the water, were you? No.
I'd have to issue you with a littering fine if you did.
It's Phrani's engagement ring.
I've been waiting five years.
She said she'd be here on the 10:47am.
Oh.
Maybe the bus was in an accident.
Oh, um You wanker! Wanker.
Argh! You wanker! And he had flowers, a sign and the ring and Phrani was a no-show.
Ohh.
He was, um he was .
.
crying.
Oh.
I'm so sorry, Kevin.
I always believed she was still coming home even when everybody said she wasn't.
Then when she set a date I thought, "See, I was right all along".
But now I feel like such a nong.
I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation.
Yeah, she's dumped me.
I should have known.
See, I never have any luck.
Well, that's not true! - Oi, Russo! - What?! Sorry, I wasn't expecting pedestrians.
That's it, I'm charging you with reckless conduct endangering life.
- Um, charging - Let's go.
.
.
me with what? - Are you serious? - Time you learnt your lesson.
This is the last straw.
What were you thinking? Clearly I wasn't thinking clearly.
Imagine if you'd hit poor Kevin, of all people.
- Exactly.
- But I didn't and no-one was hurt.
That's not the point.
Look, I was just trying to get rid of a bit of my stuff.
It was my equipment and my right to trash it.
Look, I'm finished anyway.
I'm done.
Done? With the beer brewing.
I've had enough and I never want to brew a bottle of beer again.
Well, surely there's a less dramatic way of disposing of your equipment.
Can we cut the interrogation here, Your Honour? We're not in court just yet, are we? We will be -- this afternoon.
Don't be late.
You having another clean-up? Ah, yeah, thought I'd try and get some semblance of order in this chaos before I go.
You're going? Well, yeah, not for a couple of weeks, but Striplands are reviewing my position and it'd be a miracle if I kept my job after the whole seahorse fiasco.
So what will you do, then? I don't know.
Probably follow the work.
There's a research position in Antarctica.
Yeah, you wanted this towed, is that right? - No, no, it's OK.
- It's no problem.
Look, if it's not working and it's just taking up room, I can get a trailer or No, thank you.
I'm more than happy if it just stays here and we completely forget all about it.
It won't bother you in Antarctica.
No, probably not.
Thanks for your help, Bob.
I don't think I could have got all this stuff to the Salvos by myself.
I'm just too emotional.
Yeah, I get you, mate, I get you.
But once you've got rid of Phrani's gear you'll be able to forget the past and embrace that exciting future we talked about.
Don't know if I've got a future without Phrani, Bob.
She's my sun and my moon.
This place is nothing without her.
It's heart-breaking, and I'm gutted for you -- gutted.
But you know, without Phrani, I agree -- this place is a marginal proposition.
But we can make the best out of a bad situation.
You sign this caravan park over to Jelly Enterprises and you will become a seed investor of The Pearl.
You know what, it's an option I'm considering.
This isn't an option, Kevin -- this is a new beginning.
This is you picking up the pieces and running with them.
Alright, yes.
No, I can't think straight.
That's why I'm doing the thinking for you.
Now put your chicken scratch on there and I'll do the rest.
What's that? A weed.
No, no, no, no.
It's a lotus flower.
But how? Yoo-hoo! Kevin! Kevin! Kevin! Phrani! Phrani.
- Kevin! - Phrani! I was delayed on the tarmac for hours.
And then I got stuck in customs and someone stole all my belongings.
Oh! And I searched the airport for hours until a good Samaritan helped me find my possessions, except for my phone and my money.
That doesn't matter! You're here now, that's what's important.
Oh, my darling, you're even more handsome than I remembered.
I can't believe it's you.
- Can you believe it? - No, I can't.
It's unbelievable! Kevin, our time has finally come.
I can't go another day without you.
Will you marry me -- just like we planned? Yes! Yes! I don't want you two rushing into things.
Kevin, I think there's a little chat we need to finish.
Oh, Robert, there's no time for conversation.
We have so much to catch up on, and now we have a wedding to plan.
Yeah.
But we do have to sort something out, Bob.
Because he's been my lifeline.
Ah, Bob .
.
will you be my best man? Aww.
Ohhh, oh, I'd be honoured.
Yes! Congratulations, Kevin and Phrani! Thank you, thank you.
I'm so thrilled for you both.
You've waited a long time for this.
Oh, it's just wonderful to be back, and of course you are all invited to the wedding.
And I'm going to need some help from you all.
Firstly I hope that the very efficient Heather will be our wedding planner.
Oh, I don't think I should.
I'm, um, really concentrating more on business than marriage these days.
I'll do it, I'll do it.
I know everything about weddings.
Thank you, Lillian.
Perhaps you and Heather could work together.
Yes.
Sure.
Of course, anything to make Phrani and Kevin's day magical.
Yes.
I'll organise the flowers.
I'll do the food, the seating, the music and the register.
I'll do the wedding booklets, the car and the drinks.
And I'll do the cake and a fun but unique tribute for the newlyweds.
Then we're sorted.
We'll make the best team.
Yeah.
Oh, I remember the music from our wedding like it was yesterday.
Oh, Heather.
Sorry.
Right, I need to find lilies.
Maybe some native blue gum.
And maybe and definitely baby's breath.
Baby's what? They're flowers, Zac, a symbol of everlasting love.
And I need an unforgettable car for the going away.
Where? Where are they going? No, that's irrelevant.
It's all about the finale -- the waving off.
It's the big emotional climax to the whole event.
That Chevy -- Miranda's.
It's perfect.
- You mean the one in the shed? - Yeah.
- Alcohol.
- Hmm.
Where's Ben? I need to organise the drinks for the wedding.
I'd settle for a refill.
Dammit! I took her by Her little white hand And dragged her down Oh.
Come on, then.
Tell me what to do.
There's no chance with that car, you know that.
Why? Miranda wouldn't want me to say.
We don't talk about it.
Well, here we are, another Pearl Bay love story.
Don't you love it, Miranda? Oh, except for you and young Elliot Oh.
So sorry, Miranda.
Who's Elliot? Look, just trust me, mate -- just let it go.
You're missing the party.
Yep.
Are you checking up on my methods of beer disposal again? No, I think I'll leave that to Lillian.
I'm just looking for my daughter.
Well, I just saw her hop on a bicycle and ride like the wind.
She must like engagement parties about as much as I do.
It seems a waste.
I told you -- I'm done with the beer.
'Top microbrewery award for New Man'.
Isn't that your ex-wife's boyfriend's beer? That was the name of my beer -- the name I chose to symbolise my new life up here.
And they stole it and won a bloody award for it.
My beer, my wife, my label, my life.
Surely you registered the trademark.
I didn't register anything.
I was too busy taking in the sea air.
I'm certain that 'Bitter Man' is still available.
Or even 'Bitter and Twisted Man'.
You've been a great help.
Aren't you sitting in judgement of me in about an hour or so? Have another go at me then.
Look forward to it.
Hey.
Hey.
Heard Bob Jelly got a bit nostalgic down at the pub.
Yeah.
Can we put him back in jail? Yeah, sure.
Do you want to talk about it? You want to talk about your broken heart? I thought I was over Elliot.
Yeah, nah.
Peg.
- Bloody weddings.
- Bloody weddings, huh? Then Mr Russo ejected a large metal object from the Tropical Star.
It came crashing down into the street, narrowly avoiding the victim.
Mr Russo's circumstances did place him under duress but he was of sound mind and should know that his conduct was life-threatening.
How about asking me if I was of sound mind? We've heard a great deal about your beer brewing crisis and your self-sabotage, Mr Russo.
Now, let's move on to the emotional injury to the victim.
Oh, yeah, that'd be me.
And as I said before, Lau Your Honour, at the time I got a terrible shock but he said he's sorry so I'm good now.
Ah, there, see? Your Honour, I note that the accused did offer an apology at the time.
See?! Are you prosecuting or defending, Constable? I'm just presenting the facts, Your Honour.
And I don't suppose that you've ever, ever acted rashly ever, have you, Your Honour? Well, I'm not the one on trial here.
And in this courtroom today you seem to have no genuine contrition for your actions at all.
The fact that you have some painful personal issues Say something.
No.
No.
No.
Zac.
No, I don't want to do it.
In closing I'd like to say May I approach the bench, Your Honour? Yes, alright.
Is there some problem here? Just wanting to clarify that we all understand the mitigating factors in this case.
Yeah, good idea.
Why don't you just cut to the chase, Lillian? I'm fed up with this man.
Somebody needs to keep running the pub, especially with the wedding coming up.
I'm fed up too, but we need drinks for the reception.
And Ben's is the only pub in town.
Mr Russo, I accept that your actions were a passionate response to your unfortunate personal circumstances but you endangered Mr Findlay's life.
I sentence you to 40 hours community service, which Constable Liano will organise.
But might I strongly suggest that you consider taking your life in a new and positive direction? Self-pity is a very unattractive quality.
Great.
How does 40 hours of brewing beer for Kevin and Phrani's wedding sound? I still can't believe you're unpacking instead of packing.
The only thing I will ever pack for again is a holiday with my beloved husband, starting with our honeymoon.
I bought you a gift.
Oh, it's a beauty! I was hoping you could wear it to our wedding.
Yeah, yeah, you bet.
I had it made to your exact measurements from five years ago when I left.
Five years younger, ah.
Will you try it on? Let's not spoil the surprise.
I think we should wait till the wedding day.
Don't you just love a wedding? Well, when it's two people like Kevin and Phrani -- still so in love after all these years.
It's a bit of an archaic notion, though, isn't it? - That's a little cynical.
- But it's true.
How many times have you been married? Twice.
Unless you count No, twice.
And which one of those was true love? Well, I think they both were in their own ways.
And they both ended -- badly.
They both ended, yes.
But they were both extraordinary while they lasted.
I know things were complicated with Elliot.
But if you ever want to talk about it -- anything I don't.
You really got Ben fired up, so thanks for that.
What do you mean? I did him a favour.
Yeah, well, he reckons he would have preferred jail.
Well, he's very lucky I didn't send him there.
Believe me, I wanted to.
Hey, what's the deal with you and that Elliot guy? Ah, well, we broke up.
You sure that's all there is to the story.
Because the way you're acting kind of seems like HE dumped YOU.
You can stop talking now.
Knew there was more to it.
Miranda, I'm reading this wonderful poem I'll get it.
Hi.
Heather's printed off these information packs.
She's organised Bollywood dancing lessons for tomorrow.
- Attendance is compulsory.
- Compulsory, right.
OK.
Yeah, it's kind of sweet.
She wants everything to be perfect for Phrani and Kevin's big day and thinks we should all go that extra mile.
Yes, of course we will.
Oh, and just letting you know I've added a video link to the back just in case it doesn't make any sense.
Don't tell Heather.
Radio Riley here, and things are hotting up as Pearl Bay kicks into gear for their favourite lovebirds and everybody does their best to get into the mood for that crazy little thing called 'love'.
Laying on the bed of a honey bee They've got 200 downloads on a new release Shy and sheer with the face of a cliff They'll be a danger to the climbers When they reach the lips Spilling my tea onto tear stains A fragrance that hints of mistakes When I walk out the door My throat's still warm Yearning to run But not to hide I was hoping to have him But keep tasting my pride Shy and sheer when faced with a cliff It's too much to climb it when I reach the lip Regulator for breathing.
Fresh air.
And then BCD -- buoyancy control device, for floating.
You're, like, half-man and half-fish.
I love the ocean, man.
Always have.
If you're underwater instead of, like, swimming over the top is that better for sharks? Well, the less likely they'll think you're a seal but ultimately it's their habitat, you know? We're just intruders.
Treat them with respect, they generally leave you alone.
- Generally? - Generally.
Had a close encounter once.
Little curious critter came up and bit me.
- Just missed the femoral artery.
- Yeah.
Just a wee bit of blood -- lot of teeth marks.
So let's see it.
Sorry? Let's see it.
Oh, yeah, well, it was just over Oh, no, no, no! The Chevy.
Oh, yeah.
I thought about it overnight.
It's the perfect wedding car.
It's available and it's free.
Tick, tick, tick.
Yeah nah.
Nah the Chevy is not a very good idea, Lil.
Oh, that's not still because of the Elliot No! Don't -- don't say it.
Look, the fact of the matter is that's ancient history.
We've had the Pearl Bay wedding of the century sprung on us in the here and now.
I'm sure Miranda will be fine.
I'll talk to her.
It probably doesn't even run.
I can get it to run.
Excellent.
Then it's sorted.
24 hours until the wedding.
Get some more hands on deck and it's doable? Yeah, if we start now I don't see why not, yeah.
Great.
I'll sort the temporary rego.
Temporary rego.
Cool.
No need to converse.
I'm only here for my coffee.
Well, I was hoping you'd still come.
Well, if Miranda had no ethical objection to a coffee machine, and she bought the odd decent bottle of wine, I wouldn't have to.
Speaking of wine .
.
this is a peace offering.
A Henschke shiraz! Where did you get this? My private collection.
Thank you.
I know you were trying to do me a favour -- in your own roundabout way -- but I'm really worried about delivering this beer to this wedding.
The brewing thing wasn't my idea.
Really? It turned out rather well, though, don't you think? Much more appropriate form of suffering than sitting with your cellmate watching TV between workouts.
You want me to suffer? This wedding is tomorrow.
Unless I can turn back time I'll be publicly humiliated again.
My last batch of beer was undrinkable, and I'll ruin the happiest day of two people's lives.
I would have thought that dogged determination and creative thinking were two of your strongest traits.
Look, I don't handle pressure very well.
I can see that.
But if you're offering to help, then Did I say I was offering to help? I could really use some help.
Really.
Please.
This is not what I had in mind.
Well, you want beer at this wedding, it's the only way.
Can't we swap positions? It stinks in here.
Well, you wanted to help.
Besides, I'm a sucker for a woman who's not afraid to get her hands dirty.
Alright, let's get this baby ticked over and we can get to Kevin's buck's party, hey? Alright, give the fuel line a little pump there and start 'er up.
- Nothing.
- Nah.
I don't understand.
So we've got a new battery, the ignition's fine.
Starter motor? It wouldn't have a kill switch, would it? A what? It's a sneaky little switch they hide somewhere just so thieves can't take the car.
It's quite common in the older vehicles.
It's a pity we couldn't just call up Oi.
Alright, guys, I mean, it can stay between us but, I mean, what's going on with this car? All I can say is it was a gift.
From Elliot? OK, sorry, so he bought her a car -- then what? What?! Give me a hand pushing this, would you? Come on.
- Ease up, Rocky.
- Oh, thanks, Bob.
I can't stop.
I've gotta stop, I've gotta stop.
Ohh.
I'm trying to get in shape for the wedding.
Oh, me too, me too.
Love a good, uh, stretch.
I just came to remind you about the buck's party.
Yep.
Oh, since we're both here, have you got time to sign those papers that I spoke to you about? You know, bright new future and so forth? Now that you're getting married it's even more important, Kevin.
Yeah, sorry, Bob, but Phrani's back.
You'd have to run it by her.
She's the one with the business savvy, you know.
Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, I know.
I understand completely.
Although women love decisiveness in a man.
That's something Heather taught me.
Right, got to go to the pub.
Great.
So what's the verdict? You can taste very subtle floral hops.
Background malt and the nose with an overtone of grapefruit.
Is that grapefruit? Yeah.
Nice.
Mate.
Cheers.
Thank you.
OK, come on, everybody.
Is everyone ready? What for? For the dancing! It's Bollywood style.
Bollywood? I thought all the colour and movement might be fun.
Not sure.
I've never done it.
I really love disco.
Oh, Phrani, I'm so sorry.
- I've done the wrong thing.
- Oh, no, no, no, you haven't.
You're right.
It'll be fun.
I've always wanted to try it.
Come, everyone.
Alright, everyone.
- Please get in a line.
- What, in a straight line? - Straight line.
Bollywood dancing.
- Will I go to the end here? Yes, please.
Hey.
Hey! What are you doing?! I told you to leave the car alone! We're just borrowing it for the wedding.
Lillian said you'd be fine with it.
Well, I'm not, am I? And if anyone had have asked me I would have said no.
Where are the matches? Miranda, calm down! It's just a car! It's NOT just a car! And it's Radio Riley all the way around the Bay on Kevin and Phrani's wedding day.
May the magic of that first long ago kiss see them through a lifetime of married bliss.
Oh! Perfect fit.
Yes.
Just goes to show what a rigorous diet and exercise regime will do.
Oh, Kevin, you're the handsomest groom that any bride was ever blessed to behold.
Back up.
Got any flammable liquids over there? Not today.
Well, in that case.
- Why the hell not? - Yeah.
Elliot Conway.
The one that got away.
Yeah, I did some sniffing around, to be honest.
Not that anyone was talking.
He bought you the car, huh? No.
No, he, um he left me the car.
As compensation.
Ah.
We were together for about four years.
We even had an engagement party at the pub.
And then one day he just left.
He loved the classic cars.
No regard for the hole in the ozone layer.
You know, Scott Reef in Western Australia was thought to be dead for the longest time after the whole '98 warming event.
Everyone just assumed we'd have to take larvae from healthy reefs and seed it if it was ever going to regenerate.
But as it turns out .
.
all it needed was time .
.
to fix itself.
Yeah, but this is taking ages.
There's no rush.
But .
.
if you ever do remember where the kill switch in that car is please let me know.
But if there's one thing I learned in all my time If it's real love You don't need to ask why Oh, you're here.
What? I thought love was black and white - Thanks, alright.
- Yeah.
Robert.
Yeah lovely.
But if it's right it won't need a fight I didn't know that I should never break That you could split someone Into what's right or wrong And if there's one thing I've learned In all my time If it's real love Don't let it die If it's real love Oh, Phrani! You don't need to ask why But if there's one thing that I Could never deny Real love And you were always there for me But I couldn't see what you could see I change my colours easily You're always strong and steady As I'll always be Now I know that I will always be in flight Forever drawn into your light And if there's one thing I've learned in all my time If it's real love Most beautiful bride in the world ever.
Don't let it die If it's real love You don't need to ask why And now, Phrani and Kevin, it gives me more pleasure than I can possibly say to pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss! Each other? Whoa, real love.
Signed and sealed.
Congratulations.
- Thanks, Bob, yeah.
- Smile! Ah, Kev, you'll need to sign this too.
Yeah, what's that? It's an addendum to the marriage certificate.
- Oh, Phrani should sign it too.
- No, just you.
It's a groom thing.
Oh, it's a groom thing! Alright, then.
Ah, yeah.
There you go, Bob.
There we go.
- This is my husband.
- Smile, everyone.
- Photo bomb! - Oh, Bob! Hey? So funny! Speech -- I think it's about time, isn't it? Hello, everyone.
Before I introduce Bob, our best man, and the bride and groom, and we have some singing and dancing, if you'd indulge me I'd like to express my own personal gratitude to everyone here.
I've got to admit that recently I've been thinking about love and romance as a bit of a one-way ticket to a broken heart.
But then I look around at this random and wonderful bunch of people all putting aside their collective baggage to celebrate the union of this perfect couple, and it goes to show how much we all still want to believe in love.
And that's something to celebrate.
So, Kev, the bill for the beer is in the mail.
And, Bob, it's your turn.
Oh, yes.
Kevin, you're my oldest mate.
Phrani, you're .
.
the love of his life.
And so I give you the happy couple.
The happy couple.
Thanks, Bob.
Drink up, everyone.
So, hey, did you want to dance or? No, thanks, I'm on music duties.
Yeah, nah, me neither.
I was I was just checking.
- You know what? Yes.
- Me too.
Well, you know, you are a truly fascinating dancer.
I've been practising.
Nice speech, though.
Well, I just got swept up in the love that was in the room.
Well, at least you know when it's there.
Maybe not such a lost cause after all, then, hmm? He's my alpha guy He's my alpha guy Thought you guys might like to ride in style.
Miranda, are you sure? Beyond sure.
- Happy wedding, guys.
- Thank you.
- Thank you! - Bye! I know you said you didn't want to talk about Elliot, and I know my own history doesn't exactly represent happily ever after Mum .
.
get to the point.
It was his loss.
Hey.
Oh, hey.
Your Chevy's left a bit of a void.
I'm sure you'll find a project to fill it.
Something else to renew or regenerate while you wait for the sword to fall on your career.
Any ideas? You could buy a kelp farm.
Like in Tasmania.
Reduce carbon emissions, cool the warming ocean.
Mmm.
Uh-huh.
Regenerate the ecosystem.
Is that all going to fit here in the corner? Might have to move a few things.
Hey, you forgot your wedding cake.
Oh, I can't eat this.
I'm a vegan.
Oh.
Well, you can put it under your pillow and you'll dream of the woman you'll marry.
- What? - Yeah, yeah, it's family tradition.
My nan used to make us do it every wedding.
Did it work for you? Who did you dream of? No-one.
Oh, yeah, cool.
Um, you can keep it.
Yeah? Yeah, yeah.
Ooh, thanks.
Don't wanna live in the city My friends tell me I'm changing The smell of salty air Is what I'm chasing Chasing, chasing You probably think I'm mad But it feels good to me 'Cause from now on I'll live as close as I can to the sea.