Secret Diary of a Call Girl s04e05 Episode Script
Episode 5
I thought your book was just - wow! We think it's absolutely perfect for the big screen.
DK adores it.
She's the hottest actress on the scene.
We already have a director attached - Leon.
What I suggest we do is that we fly you out to New York to meet them.
Oh! All I wanted was move to in with you and try and have a normal relationship.
This is a completely fucked-up situation.
Maybe you shouldn't have moved in with me and my fucked-up situation! Sometimes you just have to get away from it all.
You know, work, home, boyfriends And do what you want to do.
And for me that means Bit of shopping, few laughs.
Oh, yeah, and maybe making a hit movie! New York City! Here I come! Here I come! Well, that's breakfast and sight seeing done.
Three hours to kill.
What is a girl to do? That's the thing men don't understand about it's not about the clothes.
MIKA: Love Today It's that, even if it's just for a few hours, all women want to feel like a movie star.
Everybody's gonna love today, gonna love today Anyway you want to Anyway you've got to Love love me, love love me Love love me Love love me Love love I've been crying for so long Fighting tears just to carry on OM-Jesus! That looks phenomenal with a capital "meow".
Seriously, if you don't buy that, I will.
I'm not kidding.
'Scuse me.
Urgent Tyra mail! I don't even know if I want to be gay anymore.
My God! I'm getting it.
Don't.
I said leave it! I thought you were cool with all this.
The clients and the phone calls? She's not here, OK? So you'll just have to find some other girl or wank yourself off, you twat! Er, no, I'm not interested in an upgrade.
Thank you, though.
Yeah.
Sorry about theyou know, the wanking.
Yeah.
I have to get out of here.
You've got to be kidding me.
Where the hell is she? I've been calling all morning.
New York.
Typical! Leave me to pick up the pieces.
Er Discreet Elite.
You can't just walk in here Do be quiet, child! And get me a drink.
if they could see me now That little gang of mine I'm eating fancy chow and drinking fancy wine I'd like those stumble bums Thanks.
To see for a fact The kind of top drawer first-rate chums I attract I know.
I know, I just couldn't really find anything I wanted.
Tonight I landed, pow! Right in a pot of jam What a setup! Holy cow! Belle? Sweetie! Wow! Oh, my God! You are even more fabulous in the flesh.
I already know we're going to be friends.
Thanks.
So you must be Dava or? Oh, seriously, what is wrong with me? Yes, I'm Dava.
But please - my friends call me DK.
OK.
We are so lucky to have Leon attached to this project.
He's going to do an awesome job with your story.
Well, I haven't quite said yes yet.
Oh, I know.
But you will.
You must! Because I already feel we're like soul sisters! I love this book.
Thank you.
Let's workshop it because I want the movie to go deeper into Belle's character.
Yes.
I want to explore where reality and fantasy overlap.
OK.
Like rubbing the condensation off a bathroom mirror without touching it.
Yes! Yeah, yeah.
Good! I mean, here, for example.
Let's see When you meet a new client.
I want you to tell me more about what you're thinking.
Yes.
But don't just tell it to me.
No.
Feel it to me.
Imagine that I am the client and DK is you.
Oh.
Yes.
This is good.
This is good.
Andaction! Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm not entirely sure what I should be doing? Talk us through it.
But with your heart.
You are our eyes, our hands.
Action! OK, well, um, first of all I might start by putting on a little music.
No, no, no, no, no! No.
I want to know how you would deconstruct the client.
I Andgo! OK, well, clearly you have a dominant personality so I'd want to work with that.
Maybe start off by standing behind him.
Yeah.
It keeps them off guard.
Right.
Now, umcaress him.
Just gently.
Very good.
That'll make him excited.
Ah! Yes! No! No peeking.
Yeah, exactly.
Because dominant people love being forced to give up control.
And come round.
And kiss him.
Oh! OK.
Well, no.
Soft! Light.
You know, like, barely touching.
OK.
Yeah.
Yeah, good.
Ow! Ow! OK, good, good.
Rip off my dress! Well, I wouldn't reallyI wouldn't say rip.
You could always use the buttons.
I want you inside me so bad.
Oh, my! Take me, you sexual viper! OK! We're animals! I think we've got the basic shape.
There it is.
Here we go.
OK, and cut! And cut! Please! Please, stop! Cut! It's a good thing I came by.
These books are an utter disgrace.
But I suppose you miss your darling Belle.
Good riddance to her.
Well said, child.
Well? Be honest.
How was it? I can g-genuinely say that that was a .
.
truly extraordinary performance.
Yes! Are you listening? Right.
Not only am I not going to give you a reduced rate but you are going to book the same girl at the same rate and you are going to enjoy it.
Mr Bennett, you do realise I beat men for a living? Tomorrow at four will be fine.
You're amazing.
I know.
How do you do that? It's quite simple.
Men need to be told what to do.
Believe me, when they say no, they really mean yes.
Go on.
That's it, give it more wrist.
What the fuck is going on here? What's she still doing here? She was running the business that allows you to live in this rather bourgeois maison de famille.
Get out.
Do let me know if Belle ever returns.
What the hell's going on, Poppy? I'm sorry.
Don't give me that.
You're not a kid anymore! I'm sorry.
No, don't.
Don't! No-one cares about me.
That's not true.
Yes, it is.
No, it's not.
Of course we care.
You're great.
You're funny, you're bright.
You're really good with that whip now.
You just kissed me back.
No, I didn't.
Poppy, no! No? No! Look, I'm with Hannah and I'm not going to do anything to jeopardise that.
So you and Leon, you're quite a liberated couple, aren't you? Oh, honey, we're not in a relationship! God, no! I'm married.
But I mean, in In there you just I mean, you had sex! And? How can you do that? I am surprised you of all people should ask.
How can we really sink our teeth into your story if we're afraid to get our hands even a little dirty? I suppose.
I just hope the aim is I don't want it to be strictly about bonking, you know.
I want it to be about relationships and family Oh, yeah.
Absolutely! Absolutely! And I want to know everything! So, you have a man? Yes, I do.
Ben.
Fabulous.
Though actually, we're kind of in the middle of a row at the moment.
Oh, sweetie, I had no idea.
Well, no, it's not Hang on.
Angelo! Two more.
Stat! I guess relationships can be pretty hard to keep up in your line of work.
Yeah.
Yeah, they can.
But you know, Ben's different.
He's there for me, so You really trust him.
More than anyone in the world.
Yeah? Oh, hey, Bobby! Uh-huhuh-huh.
OK, yeah, I'll see you there in a few.
OK.
Uh, OK, I got a thing.
Awesome hanging out.
Don't forget about the read-through tomorrow.
Leon's writing some scenes specially.
Ciao, sweetie.
Yesterday I saw the sun shining And the leaves were falling down softly My cold hands needed a warm, warm touch And I was thinking about you Here I am looking for signs to leave me You hold my hand but do you really need me? Guess it's time for me to let you go Well, I've got to do my bit to keep up the Special Relationship! I don't care what the PE is, Mitchell, it's a piece of shit company! No, it is not my opinion, it is a fact.
Sorry.
It's fine.
Do not BS me about the yield, Mitchell.
The yield is six times overinflated because the copper markets are on some kind of suicide pact.
Umdo you mind if we? No, no.
Of course.
It's just round this corner.
Do you want to get that? What?! Listen, Mitchell, you asshole When you are showing an Alpha of one point three, you come back to me, and at that time I can guarantee I will tell you to go fuck yourself.
Yeah, why don't you do that.
Sorry, again, um Is it Is it good? An Alpha of one point three? No, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have Are you kidding me? One point three is fucking amazing! Sorry, excuse my language.
But it is, like, unheard of.
I'm afraid I don't really understand what it is you do.
I basically specialise in CTA and systematic diversified macro investments.
OK, well, that wasn't in English! Right.
Sorry.
Um, I guess you could say I assess value.
Let's takeyou as an example.
You are a commodity.
Oh, thanks.
No, I mean like your services are a commodity that you sell for a price, right? Right.
And your price rises with experience, exclusivity et cetera.
But you also factor in risk, future earning capacity, asset value deterioration Deterioration? Yeah, you know, as you get older, perhaps put on weight, have kids, wrinkles.
It all detracts from the value.
Oh, that's good isn't it? That's nice, yeah.
And it's my job to make money by taking advantage of the tiny little differences between what something is actually worth and what somebody thinks it's worth.
You see, the secret is to be real careful before letting go of what you've got, because you only really know something's true value when it's gone.
Then it's too late.
Yes, Mitchell.
I thought you might say that but unfortunately, the price has just gone up.
Sorry, do you mind if we, um? Oh, no, of course.
Come on.
Sorry.
You're up early.
You know me.
Busy busy, busy.
Listen, I hope we're OK after You know, last night.
Oh I've made you some breakfast.
Sit.
Go on, sit.
VELVET UNDERGROUND: Sunday Morning Early dawning Sunday morning it's just the wasted years so close behind Mr Sleepyhead! It's from Hannah.
Thank you all for coming.
Belle, don't worry about these guys - they're just the money! So, this morning we're gonna show you a sample scene from the movie to give you a feel of where we're coming from.
Enjoy.
Well, hi, there! I'm Belle.
That's Italian, by the way, for "totally gorgeous".
Come on in.
I love champagne in the morning.
'Don Perigone' all the way.
What?! I think that it's important for a girl to learn to stand on her own two feet.
Feet.
Knees.
Same difference.
Oh, oh, oh, baby! RICK JAMES: Superfreak Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! Come on, give it to me! Oh! Yeah, yeah, take it! Aargh, aargh, aaaargh! And to think my mama said there's no such thing as a free lunch! Oh, my God! Wasn't it great? She hated it.
I thought it was cheap.
No way.
No, no.
I thoughtI thought she was shallow and, frankly, just a bit stupid.
Like, I totally do not agree.
You know, I think the character has real warmth and .
.
she's just so funny - like you.
Well, that's the thing, because I don't think she was anything like me.
Really? Leon.
No, no, it's OK.
Why? She likes men, luxuries Look.
OK She's a modern woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it.
Isn't that what you're all about? Well, yeah.
Actually, no.
I mean, that's not really my point.
My No! I'll tell you the point.
The point is those idiots in there loved it and this could make us a nice chunk of change.
OK.
Well, I just, I think I had Unrealistic expectations and I'm sorry.
OK, I'm sorry.
OK.
No.
I hear you.
I hear you.
We'll give you points off the gross.
OK? Now can we please just do this deal? You don't get it.
Come on! Belle, Belle, come on, let's talk about it.
Belle! Everything you want is right here.
No, no.
I thought everything I wanted was here, but it's not.
You sell everything else but you won't sell this, huh? Oh, God! Wow! This is bullshit! Midtown Grand, and then JFK, please.
MAROON 5: She Will Be Loved Beauty queen of only 18 She had some trouble with herself Sometimes you value least the people who love you most.
Until you remember that without them, your life is worth nothing.
I drove for miles and miles And wound up at your door When life knocks you down the secret is to get straight back in the ring.
Maybe you are not quite as good as you think you are.
Well, there's only one way to find out, isn't there? What would you get up to in the city that never sleeps? This is your chance to win the weekend of a lifetime.
Courtesy of Virgin Holidays plus Hip Hotels, you and three friends could fly premium economy to New York and stay for three nights in the luxury Manhattan boutique hotel Hotel On Rivington.
You'll be served cocktails in CV, followed by dinner at Thor.
And if that isn't enough to tempt you, you'll also win £2,000 so you can follow in Belle's footsteps and have the shopping spree to end all shopping sprees.
To be in with a chance of winning, answer the following question correctly:
DK adores it.
She's the hottest actress on the scene.
We already have a director attached - Leon.
What I suggest we do is that we fly you out to New York to meet them.
Oh! All I wanted was move to in with you and try and have a normal relationship.
This is a completely fucked-up situation.
Maybe you shouldn't have moved in with me and my fucked-up situation! Sometimes you just have to get away from it all.
You know, work, home, boyfriends And do what you want to do.
And for me that means Bit of shopping, few laughs.
Oh, yeah, and maybe making a hit movie! New York City! Here I come! Here I come! Well, that's breakfast and sight seeing done.
Three hours to kill.
What is a girl to do? That's the thing men don't understand about it's not about the clothes.
MIKA: Love Today It's that, even if it's just for a few hours, all women want to feel like a movie star.
Everybody's gonna love today, gonna love today Anyway you want to Anyway you've got to Love love me, love love me Love love me Love love me Love love I've been crying for so long Fighting tears just to carry on OM-Jesus! That looks phenomenal with a capital "meow".
Seriously, if you don't buy that, I will.
I'm not kidding.
'Scuse me.
Urgent Tyra mail! I don't even know if I want to be gay anymore.
My God! I'm getting it.
Don't.
I said leave it! I thought you were cool with all this.
The clients and the phone calls? She's not here, OK? So you'll just have to find some other girl or wank yourself off, you twat! Er, no, I'm not interested in an upgrade.
Thank you, though.
Yeah.
Sorry about theyou know, the wanking.
Yeah.
I have to get out of here.
You've got to be kidding me.
Where the hell is she? I've been calling all morning.
New York.
Typical! Leave me to pick up the pieces.
Er Discreet Elite.
You can't just walk in here Do be quiet, child! And get me a drink.
if they could see me now That little gang of mine I'm eating fancy chow and drinking fancy wine I'd like those stumble bums Thanks.
To see for a fact The kind of top drawer first-rate chums I attract I know.
I know, I just couldn't really find anything I wanted.
Tonight I landed, pow! Right in a pot of jam What a setup! Holy cow! Belle? Sweetie! Wow! Oh, my God! You are even more fabulous in the flesh.
I already know we're going to be friends.
Thanks.
So you must be Dava or? Oh, seriously, what is wrong with me? Yes, I'm Dava.
But please - my friends call me DK.
OK.
We are so lucky to have Leon attached to this project.
He's going to do an awesome job with your story.
Well, I haven't quite said yes yet.
Oh, I know.
But you will.
You must! Because I already feel we're like soul sisters! I love this book.
Thank you.
Let's workshop it because I want the movie to go deeper into Belle's character.
Yes.
I want to explore where reality and fantasy overlap.
OK.
Like rubbing the condensation off a bathroom mirror without touching it.
Yes! Yeah, yeah.
Good! I mean, here, for example.
Let's see When you meet a new client.
I want you to tell me more about what you're thinking.
Yes.
But don't just tell it to me.
No.
Feel it to me.
Imagine that I am the client and DK is you.
Oh.
Yes.
This is good.
This is good.
Andaction! Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm not entirely sure what I should be doing? Talk us through it.
But with your heart.
You are our eyes, our hands.
Action! OK, well, um, first of all I might start by putting on a little music.
No, no, no, no, no! No.
I want to know how you would deconstruct the client.
I Andgo! OK, well, clearly you have a dominant personality so I'd want to work with that.
Maybe start off by standing behind him.
Yeah.
It keeps them off guard.
Right.
Now, umcaress him.
Just gently.
Very good.
That'll make him excited.
Ah! Yes! No! No peeking.
Yeah, exactly.
Because dominant people love being forced to give up control.
And come round.
And kiss him.
Oh! OK.
Well, no.
Soft! Light.
You know, like, barely touching.
OK.
Yeah.
Yeah, good.
Ow! Ow! OK, good, good.
Rip off my dress! Well, I wouldn't reallyI wouldn't say rip.
You could always use the buttons.
I want you inside me so bad.
Oh, my! Take me, you sexual viper! OK! We're animals! I think we've got the basic shape.
There it is.
Here we go.
OK, and cut! And cut! Please! Please, stop! Cut! It's a good thing I came by.
These books are an utter disgrace.
But I suppose you miss your darling Belle.
Good riddance to her.
Well said, child.
Well? Be honest.
How was it? I can g-genuinely say that that was a .
.
truly extraordinary performance.
Yes! Are you listening? Right.
Not only am I not going to give you a reduced rate but you are going to book the same girl at the same rate and you are going to enjoy it.
Mr Bennett, you do realise I beat men for a living? Tomorrow at four will be fine.
You're amazing.
I know.
How do you do that? It's quite simple.
Men need to be told what to do.
Believe me, when they say no, they really mean yes.
Go on.
That's it, give it more wrist.
What the fuck is going on here? What's she still doing here? She was running the business that allows you to live in this rather bourgeois maison de famille.
Get out.
Do let me know if Belle ever returns.
What the hell's going on, Poppy? I'm sorry.
Don't give me that.
You're not a kid anymore! I'm sorry.
No, don't.
Don't! No-one cares about me.
That's not true.
Yes, it is.
No, it's not.
Of course we care.
You're great.
You're funny, you're bright.
You're really good with that whip now.
You just kissed me back.
No, I didn't.
Poppy, no! No? No! Look, I'm with Hannah and I'm not going to do anything to jeopardise that.
So you and Leon, you're quite a liberated couple, aren't you? Oh, honey, we're not in a relationship! God, no! I'm married.
But I mean, in In there you just I mean, you had sex! And? How can you do that? I am surprised you of all people should ask.
How can we really sink our teeth into your story if we're afraid to get our hands even a little dirty? I suppose.
I just hope the aim is I don't want it to be strictly about bonking, you know.
I want it to be about relationships and family Oh, yeah.
Absolutely! Absolutely! And I want to know everything! So, you have a man? Yes, I do.
Ben.
Fabulous.
Though actually, we're kind of in the middle of a row at the moment.
Oh, sweetie, I had no idea.
Well, no, it's not Hang on.
Angelo! Two more.
Stat! I guess relationships can be pretty hard to keep up in your line of work.
Yeah.
Yeah, they can.
But you know, Ben's different.
He's there for me, so You really trust him.
More than anyone in the world.
Yeah? Oh, hey, Bobby! Uh-huhuh-huh.
OK, yeah, I'll see you there in a few.
OK.
Uh, OK, I got a thing.
Awesome hanging out.
Don't forget about the read-through tomorrow.
Leon's writing some scenes specially.
Ciao, sweetie.
Yesterday I saw the sun shining And the leaves were falling down softly My cold hands needed a warm, warm touch And I was thinking about you Here I am looking for signs to leave me You hold my hand but do you really need me? Guess it's time for me to let you go Well, I've got to do my bit to keep up the Special Relationship! I don't care what the PE is, Mitchell, it's a piece of shit company! No, it is not my opinion, it is a fact.
Sorry.
It's fine.
Do not BS me about the yield, Mitchell.
The yield is six times overinflated because the copper markets are on some kind of suicide pact.
Umdo you mind if we? No, no.
Of course.
It's just round this corner.
Do you want to get that? What?! Listen, Mitchell, you asshole When you are showing an Alpha of one point three, you come back to me, and at that time I can guarantee I will tell you to go fuck yourself.
Yeah, why don't you do that.
Sorry, again, um Is it Is it good? An Alpha of one point three? No, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have Are you kidding me? One point three is fucking amazing! Sorry, excuse my language.
But it is, like, unheard of.
I'm afraid I don't really understand what it is you do.
I basically specialise in CTA and systematic diversified macro investments.
OK, well, that wasn't in English! Right.
Sorry.
Um, I guess you could say I assess value.
Let's takeyou as an example.
You are a commodity.
Oh, thanks.
No, I mean like your services are a commodity that you sell for a price, right? Right.
And your price rises with experience, exclusivity et cetera.
But you also factor in risk, future earning capacity, asset value deterioration Deterioration? Yeah, you know, as you get older, perhaps put on weight, have kids, wrinkles.
It all detracts from the value.
Oh, that's good isn't it? That's nice, yeah.
And it's my job to make money by taking advantage of the tiny little differences between what something is actually worth and what somebody thinks it's worth.
You see, the secret is to be real careful before letting go of what you've got, because you only really know something's true value when it's gone.
Then it's too late.
Yes, Mitchell.
I thought you might say that but unfortunately, the price has just gone up.
Sorry, do you mind if we, um? Oh, no, of course.
Come on.
Sorry.
You're up early.
You know me.
Busy busy, busy.
Listen, I hope we're OK after You know, last night.
Oh I've made you some breakfast.
Sit.
Go on, sit.
VELVET UNDERGROUND: Sunday Morning Early dawning Sunday morning it's just the wasted years so close behind Mr Sleepyhead! It's from Hannah.
Thank you all for coming.
Belle, don't worry about these guys - they're just the money! So, this morning we're gonna show you a sample scene from the movie to give you a feel of where we're coming from.
Enjoy.
Well, hi, there! I'm Belle.
That's Italian, by the way, for "totally gorgeous".
Come on in.
I love champagne in the morning.
'Don Perigone' all the way.
What?! I think that it's important for a girl to learn to stand on her own two feet.
Feet.
Knees.
Same difference.
Oh, oh, oh, baby! RICK JAMES: Superfreak Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! Come on, give it to me! Oh! Yeah, yeah, take it! Aargh, aargh, aaaargh! And to think my mama said there's no such thing as a free lunch! Oh, my God! Wasn't it great? She hated it.
I thought it was cheap.
No way.
No, no.
I thoughtI thought she was shallow and, frankly, just a bit stupid.
Like, I totally do not agree.
You know, I think the character has real warmth and .
.
she's just so funny - like you.
Well, that's the thing, because I don't think she was anything like me.
Really? Leon.
No, no, it's OK.
Why? She likes men, luxuries Look.
OK She's a modern woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it.
Isn't that what you're all about? Well, yeah.
Actually, no.
I mean, that's not really my point.
My No! I'll tell you the point.
The point is those idiots in there loved it and this could make us a nice chunk of change.
OK.
Well, I just, I think I had Unrealistic expectations and I'm sorry.
OK, I'm sorry.
OK.
No.
I hear you.
I hear you.
We'll give you points off the gross.
OK? Now can we please just do this deal? You don't get it.
Come on! Belle, Belle, come on, let's talk about it.
Belle! Everything you want is right here.
No, no.
I thought everything I wanted was here, but it's not.
You sell everything else but you won't sell this, huh? Oh, God! Wow! This is bullshit! Midtown Grand, and then JFK, please.
MAROON 5: She Will Be Loved Beauty queen of only 18 She had some trouble with herself Sometimes you value least the people who love you most.
Until you remember that without them, your life is worth nothing.
I drove for miles and miles And wound up at your door When life knocks you down the secret is to get straight back in the ring.
Maybe you are not quite as good as you think you are.
Well, there's only one way to find out, isn't there? What would you get up to in the city that never sleeps? This is your chance to win the weekend of a lifetime.
Courtesy of Virgin Holidays plus Hip Hotels, you and three friends could fly premium economy to New York and stay for three nights in the luxury Manhattan boutique hotel Hotel On Rivington.
You'll be served cocktails in CV, followed by dinner at Thor.
And if that isn't enough to tempt you, you'll also win £2,000 so you can follow in Belle's footsteps and have the shopping spree to end all shopping sprees.
To be in with a chance of winning, answer the following question correctly: