Shine on Harvey Moon (1982) s04e05 Episode Script

I don't understand it.
What? Does this mean you're back together again or what? What? You know, that Dad slept here last night.
No, it just meant that your dad slept here last night.
- Well, is he gonna do it again? - I am here, you know.
Well, are you gonna do it again? It's only once.
It's nice.
Yeah, well, I mean What I mean is, it's only the one night.
It don't change the world.
- Nothing's impossible.
- No.
Ever tried striking a match on a bar of soap? Nice bit of bacon, this.
Do you want the rind? Oh, ta.
- Where did you get it? - Off a customer.
I done her a soft perm for half a pound of bacon and some eggs and a bit of liver.
You always could lay your hands on things.
Sunday morning, eh? Bacon and eggs.
Real eggs.
Just like old times.
Yeah, well, I thought you deserved a bit of meat this morning.
Tiger.
Excuse me.
Have we got any of that Carnation milk left? No.
Why? Oh.
He likes it in his tea.
I hope he lifts the seat.
What are you up to? - Who, me? - You haven't slept with him for eight years.
- Ten.
- The war started eight years ago.
Still, ten.
All right, ten.
So you go ten years then, all of a sudden, in one night, you're back together again.
You've gotta admit, it does seem strange.
No.
- Was you drunk? - No! - Was he drunk? - No! - Did you have a brain storm? - I knew exactly what I was doing.
- Did Dad? - I didn't have to draw him a map.
So, what's changed, then? What's the big difference? I don't know.
Either I've got less fussy or he's got better.
Has he gone off Frieda, then? Well, she's out the country Sh! - More tea? - If there's enough, yes, please.
Ta.
- I don't know if I can take much more of this.
- What? You two being nice to each other.
- Yeah, well, maybe you'll have to get used to it.
- Yeah, maybe.
It don't seem natural.
Oh, God! Here, Stanley! Do you want something to warm you up? - Oh, yes, please.
- Right, turn over that bit of soil there.
I can't get the spade in there.
It's frozen solid.
- Well, go for a run round, then.
- No, Nan.
Go on.
It'll do you good and keep you warm.
Hey, Geoff, I'm still worried about Harvey, though.
It's not like him to stay out all night like that.
Something terrible could have happened to him.
Well, maybe he stopped over at the prefab.
No.
No, he wouldn't be so daft.
Ah, well.
I still wish I'd phoned the police.
I don't think that'll do much good.
"How old is your son, madam?" "Oh, I see, 38, yes.
It is a bit young for staying out all night.
" I suppose you're right.
I just wish he'd told me he wasn't going to come back.
- Yes, so do I.
- Why? Cheeky monkey! There we are.
That didn't take long now, did it? No.
We can have some proper coffee.
Sorry about the other lot, Leo.
Oh, that's perfectly all right, Veronica.
I didn't know you were supposed to grind the beans first.
No, my fault.
I took it for granted.
- Never mind.
Here, try some of this.
- Oh Lovely crockery.
Bit on the small side, though, eh? So, this is what proper coffee should taste like.
I still don't like it, Leo.
Where should I throw it? Please don't throw it anywhere, Veronica.
It cost me a fortune.
I think it'd be nicer if you put a bit of milk in.
If you got yourself some proper cups, there'd be more room, then, eh? Perhaps you'd like me to make you a cup of tea? No, no, you sit down.
You stay where you are.
You do enough running about after me already.
Oh, I really like it here, Leo.
It was ever so nice of you to say that I could come and live here.
Yes, Veronica, well, I'm delighted that you can come and stay for a while.
It seemed the best thing for everybody.
It's a smashing house.
I ain't never been in a house like this before.
Well, not with two toilets.
And both on the inside an' all.
Good job I'm here, really.
- Why's that? - Well, one would only be wasted, wouldn't it? I mean, you can't use two at the same time, can you? Ha! Yes, it's miles better than the prefab.
It can be a rather large, hollow house when you're on your own.
But I won't be on my own, will I? You'll be here with me.
No, the prefab was all very well.
But this is much more much more me.
I can really see myself settling in here.
Yes, well, let's take it one day at a time, shall we, Veronica? Yeah, that's right.
One day at a time.
I was thinking of making some new loose covers for this sofa, while I'm here, Leo.
Something nice and bright.
- What's wrong with it? - Oh, there's nothing wrong with it.
It's just a bit on the dull side, innit? I thought yellow would be nice.
The best thing about being here is, there'll be lots of room for the baby to grow up in.
Yes.
Oh, I can really see what Rita sees in you now.
- Thank you, Veronica.
- You're so thoughtful, ain't you? So we're agreed, then? Yellow it is.
Course, that means those curtains will have to go.
- Where have you been? - Oh, that's good, that is.
You don't go out on Sundays.
I was worried.
You were worried? We've been down Geoff's allotments, putting in his shallots.
- Where've you been? - Yeah, where have you been, Dad? - Round the prefab.
- Well.
And what were you doing round there? - I bet he weren't putting in shallots.
- Stanley! - Well? - I stayed over.
- You stayed over? - With Rita.
- Did she give you something? - Eh? - Did she slip you a mickey? - What do you mean? - Was you drunk? - I was sober.
You mean you was conscious? - Is that all you've got to say? - Well, what do you want? A 21-gun salute and the Hallelujah Chorus? I just thought, you know - No, what? - I don't know.
- Oh, well, that's clear, then, that is.
- Is it? Are you gonna be staying over again, or is that it now until the end of the next war? - We haven't decided.
- Oh, it's "we" now, is it? Well, it's her decision an' all.
- After all these years.
How long is it? - Ten years.
Ten years! I don't believe it.
Just when you was coming right.
A JP sitting on the council, wearing a pin-stripe suit.
You're a grown man.
Why'd do you have to weaken now? - It's just one of those things.
- Just one of those things? They'll probably take your JP off you when they find out.
- Sure I've got time before Mrs Pelham arrives? - Make time.
I thought we'd had that pipe fixed.
That's Veronica humming.
Oh.
I thought for a moment you were having a baby down there.
Don't be silly.
I wouldn't have it here.
I'd have it in an 'ospital.
- Here, Mrs Moon, what's it like? - Your singing? Terrible.
No! I mean, having babies.
Oh, well, I don't wanna put you off, love.
But put it this way, the first bit's more fun than the last bit.
Trouble is, I can't remember the first bit.
It's often the case.
Join the club.
No, really, Mrs Moon, what's it like? You've had loads! Well, it's difficult to describe, Veronica.
But imagine this.
It's like trying to spit out a melon.
Veronica, didn't anyone ever teach you the facts of life? - Facts of what? - Rita.
No, you tell her, Jan.
Well, I don't know anything about babies.
Oh, no, that's right.
You're still learning.
She's still practising the first bit.
Ha, ha! - She's in a good mood, isn't she? - Yeah.
Must be on account of her getting back with Mr Moon.
Wonders will never cease, eh? - Oooh! - Are you all right? Ooh.
Yeah.
I just get a bit of a twinge down here every so often.
Ooh.
Veronica, what's it like? You know Having a baby on your own and not knowing who the father is and that.
I'm not sure, Jan.
It's my first time, innit? Oh, I don't mind.
Not too much.
It'll be someone to love, won't it? And it won't think I'm funny.
I'll just be its mum.
Yeah, it'd be nice to find out who it was.
But it don't seem too likely now, does it? - No.
- Ooh! - Are you all right? Come on, sit down.
- What's going on? - I don't know, Veronica's come over all strange.
- Oh, blimey.
I just went all funny for a minute.
I'm all right.
- Right, you'll see a doctor.
- Honestly, Mrs Moon, I'm all right.
You'll do as you're told.
I'll ring Leo, see if he can let Maggie off work.
- Can I help you? - It's - Your name, please? - Veronica Perpetuous Spicer.
And what seems to be the problem? Well, I came over all funny at work.
How many weeks before the baby's due? - The doctor said about six.
- Six.
- Right.
Now, husband's name? - Oh, I ain't got an 'usband.
Oh.
- Father's name, then? - Oh.
Ron.
Short for Ronald.
Ron? But I thought you didn't know? Right from the beginning, you've always said you didn't know.
No, I've always known my father's name! Veronica, she means the baby's father's name.
- Precisely.
- Oh, no, that's not Ron.
- No, Ron's my dad.
- Yes, I understand that.
What I need is, what is the baby's father's name? Oh.
No, I don't know.
You don't know? No, it was the works outing, you see.
I'd had a bit too much to drink and I've only got the one good eye.
- But I'm gonna ask the doctor to have a look - Yes, well, that'll be quite enough.
Thank you.
Take a seat and the doctor will see you as soon as he's free.
Right.
Of course, it could have been Ron.
There was a lot of Rons there that day.
And it is a common name Veronica! You don't half show me up sometimes.
Well, what did she have to bring my dad into it for? That's when I started getting confused.
I don't think she made herself very clear.
Ooh, I wouldn't mind a bit of that for my supper.
- Nice, isn't he? - Sh! I wonder if his name's Ron.
Ooh, he's coming over.
- How do you do? - Hello.
- What's your name? - Veronica Perpetuous Spicer.
- Oh, very nice.
And yours? - Mind your own.
That foreign, is it? Do you get it? "Foreign, is it?" Ha, ha! Is she ill, then? That's why she's in such a good mood? No, Maggie's all right.
- Hello, Maggie.
- Here, how did you do that to your eye? I didn't do it, someone else did.
- What, in a bundle, you mean? - You should see the state of the other bloke.
- Yeah? - Not a scratch.
Oh.
Looks like you've had one in the eye an' all.
No, this is a lazy eye.
But I'm gonna ask the doctor to have a look at it while I'm here.
And my fallen arches.
And my verruca.
- Well, Maggie reckons it's a verruca.
- Janice said it was a verruca.
Anyway, now it's free, I thought I'd get my money's worth, eh? Save some for the rest of us, eh? Course, the main reason I'm here is cos I'm expecting.
Oh, yeah, what are you expecting, then? A baby, silly! I would never have noticed.
Well, it wasn't me! I'd remember.
Yeah, so would I.
Miss Spicer, a doctor will see you now.
See you.
Come here often, do you? Look, Maggie, what are you doing Thursday night? - What's it to you? - Only, there's some boxing down at the baths.
Get a bit wet, won't they? - You're game, then? - No.
I hate boxing.
It's stupid and vicious.
And so are the people that do it.
- I suppose it is a bit of a mug's game.
- So how come you asked me to go with you? It's just that a mate of mine's on the bill.
I thought we could We'll go to the flicks instead, eh? I don't wanna go nowhere with you on Thursday night.
Thursday's a bad night, eh? What about Friday? You've got more front than Russia had.
Saturday? So, you'll be off round Rita's, then? - I said I would, when my tea's gone down.
- Ha! You won't get any tea round here! Yeah! Oof! Vi doesn't mess about when she makes her suet pud, does she? - Bomber Harris could have used the recipe.
- I'm not deaf, you know, Geoff Barrett.
So, you and Rita have got one or two things to sort out, I suppose.
Ha! You can say that again.
- Mum, do you wanna come in here and join us? - No.
I've got more important things to do.
Harvey, what about Frieda? I'm just thankful she's abroad.
Gives me some breathing space.
I get the distinct impression that your mum ain't so keen on you and Rita retying the nuptial knot.
- No harm in talking.
- It's not the talking Vi's bothered about.
I know.
It knocked me for six an' all.
When I came back from India, all I wanted to do was get back together with the wife and kids again.
Did you ever read Kipling when you was in India? Gunga Din.
"I've taken my fun where I've found it, and now I must pay for my fun.
Cos the more that you know of the others, the less you will settle for one.
" I wish I could settle for one.
- Still, people do change, don't they? - Some do.
Some don't.
Funny name, Rudyard, innit? It's not half as funny as Isambard Kingdom Brunel.
- Now, there was a man.
- What did he know about women? - What didn't he know about bridges? - Do you fancy a quick snifter before I shoot off? - I've got some Christmas cheer left over.
- No, no, ta.
I'm not on the wagon.
I'm just trotting alongside, if you see what I mean.
- See? You've changed.
- Yeah.
You could do with a clear head at a time like this.
I suppose.
So, you stopping the night at Rita's, are you? - I don't know.
Why? - Oh, I just wondered.
I'm wondering what exactly goes on in Rita's mind? Ah, now there's a thing, Harvey, the female mind.
- Contrary.
- Yeah.
What did the Colonel's lady think? Nobody ever knew.
I tell you something, I've been around longer than you have and I've had my share of experience of the fair sex.
I've given the matter a lot of thought - pondered, as you might say - as to what it is makes women tick.
- And I've come to a conclusion.
- Yeah? Women are a total bloody mystery.
And no man will understand them if he lives to be 105.
- You all right, Mum? - Yes! Come in, Maggie.
Shut the door behind you.
Ooh, freezing, innit? Now, sit yourself down.
Make yourself at home.
Ooh! Oh, look, lovely - nuts.
- Do you want one? - No, thanks.
Sorry, Leo.
I know you've got a do on tonight and I said I'd go straight round the prefab.
But the doctor said I've gotta put my feet up and take it easy.
So I thought I'd come home.
OK? Er yes, Veronica.
As long as you're all right.
The doctor said she'll be all right as long as she don't do nothing silly.
Bit of a problem, innit? Notice anything different about me, Leo? Higher.
Ooh! - Oh, your glasses have gone.
- Yeah.
- The doctor says I don't need 'em no more.
- Oh, really? Gave me a proper going-over, he did.
Got me to read some foreign words off a chart with my bad eye.
- Foreign words? - Mmm.
I think it was og, jeffy, wernag or something.
Then it got too little to make out.
Anyway, it turns out my bad eye weren't a bad eye after all.
How long have you had that plaster over your glasses? Since she was seven.
Everything seems so much more solid now I've got two eyes.
- It suits you.
- I thought you'd given up smoking, Leo.
I had.
Look, I think I'd better make a phone call, put off my friend.
No, no.
No need for that.
Here, maybe just the four of us could have a little party, eh? I think not, Veronica.
Besides, the doctor said that you should take things easy.
Will you excuse me for a moment? He's so thoughtful, isn't he? - You're sure you feel all right now? - Yeah.
I've landed on my feet here, haven't I? I was thinking of making some new loose covers for Leo's sofa while I'm here.
Look, Veronica, you can't stay here forever.
Well, I can't go back to the prefab, Mag.
It's too small.
I know that.
I think he should look after you.
- Who? - Him, the dad.
- The bloke that did it to you.
- We don't know who it is, do we? What do you mean, "we don't know"? You don't know! Don't drag me into this.
Veronica, it was your first time.
You must remember something.
Come on, think.
Here, Dad, do you know how many trains Uncle Geoff's driven? - No.
- Me neither.
But it's lots.
- He said he might take us down the depot.
- Get up, Reet.
- Do you think he will? - Well, I expect so, if he said.
- Did you like trains when you was my age? - When I was young.
What did they have before steam? Here, Mum, it's funny, innit, Nan having a boyfriend? She ain't gonna have no more babies, so why has she got Geoff? - Stanley.
- What? - Bed.
- What would you say if I asked that in the middle of the day? Get.
- Night, Dad.
- Night, son.
You know, it wouldn't be such a bad thing for him to have me round here again.
Night, Mum! Night! I think he likes the way he can play us off against each other now.
It's not out of the question.
We did once.
It was a long time ago.
- He wants me to get him a ferret.
- Play havoc with your window box.
Look, if you want the sport, you buy your own.
What's he want a ferret for, anyway? What else did your mum say? She asked if you were drunk.
She never? Mags asked that an' all.
It's a funny thing, though.
Cos we weren't, were we? Couldn't have been.
Else - You couldn't have? - Could I? - And you did.
- Didn't I? Now the rest of the news Here, Vi, I'm afraid I've got some bad news.
I know.
I just heard it on my radio.
What are them Indians gonna do now? - Eh? - Well, they just shot that little Gandhi bloke.
Poor little fella.
Completely defenceless.
He was only wearing a towel.
No, no, not the Indians! Frieda's back! Come on, come on, I'm gonna be late.
- I thought you didn't wanna go out with him? - Maybe the idea's growing on me.
I think I'll call a doctor.
- Why? - Sounds serious.
Ha, ha! I don't like it.
It looks common.
- Look, that's my best stuff.
- Well, I'm sorry.
Well, all right, then - take it off.
That'll be Leo.
Stan, answer the door.
If you're back with Dad, why are you still going out with Leo? I don't think your dad's gonna worry too much about Leo.
- Here you are.
- Ta.
- Hello, Uncle Leo.
- Stanley.
Ladies.
That looks very nice, Maggie.
It's coming off.
How's her ladyship? Er, Veronica? Oh, she's fine.
Except, of course, I had to cancel my arrangements again last night - and place a new order for peanuts.
- Yeah, she ate the whole bowl.
I know what you're thinking, Uncle Leo.
But we can't have her back.
We just got rid of her.
I'm not saying I'm trying to get rid of her, Stanley.
It's just It would be nice to see some light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm still hoping we might find the bloke who did it.
- How are you gonna do that? - Comb the loony bins? Thought we might go up the johnny factory, see if they can help us.
- It was on their beano that it happened.
- There were 500 people on that outing.
We've gotta do something.
How's she gonna manage on her own with a kid? It ain't gonna be easy.
You know what people are like.
You're making me late now, keeping me here talking.
- Where's Stan? - I don't know.
He's your son.
- I'll see you later.
Bye.
- Bye, Maggie.
- Do you want a drink? - Please.
I suppose you're wondering about Harvey and me? Well, I must confess I've been wondering about it quite a lot since Maggie first mentioned it.
- You didn't say nothing to her? - Not a word.
Oh.
Good.
Rita, when I suggested that, about how you could stop Harvey getting custody of Stanley, - I didn't think you'd take it seriously.
- That's just it, I didn't.
- You mean - No.
No, that's not the reason we did it.
Anyway, it was Harvey's idea more than mine, as I remember.
And it wasn't such a bad idea either.
Eric? Is that you? Oh, Harvey! I thought it was Eric.
Oh, it's good to see you.
Yeah, I heard you was back.
I thought you were staying away longer.
Oh, wonderful, you sound really pleased to see me.
No, I've gotta go to a council meeting.
Well, do you have time to come in? - Yeah, sure.
- I bought you a present.
I got back from Paris last night.
It's just a small, little something.
Here.
- It's a beret.
- I can see that.
- What do you want me to do with it? - Wear it, of course.
What, round here? No, that's ridiculous.
There.
See? You look quite Parisian.
Yeah, all I need is some onions and a bike.
- No, I think you look rather attractive.
- So how was Paris? Well, rather like here.
- Thanks.
- Some things good, some not so good.
- What about the exhibition? - Yes, it's still a possibility.
So it wasn't entirely a wasted journey? Well, it gave me a chance to think about things.
Yeah, look, there's something I've gotta make clear.
- There's something I feel I've gotta say to you.
- Yes, I know.
- You know? - Yes.
I've known for a long time now.
Look, Harvey It's those things I said.
Yeah, well, not to worry.
So I thought maybe we could go away together this weekend, just you, me the alarm clock.
I've gotta see Stanley, got a few things to do.
I've gotta go.
Oh, no! And I really wanted to go to Margate with you, you know, walk to the end of the pier.
Ain't got no pier.
Look, I've gotta get a move on.
Well, how about you? How have things been? Oh, you know.
Up and down.
- Listen - Yeah? Well it's good to be back.
Here, how come you know so many boxers if you don't even like the sport? Just friends.
A lot of them work down the market.
Not a bad bunch, though, eh? - No.
I've really enjoyed myself.
- Yeah, so have I.
- What's that? - What? Can't you see it? Look down there.
Can't see nothing.
Oh, come on, Dad.
Uncle Geoff said he can get me into the depot, - maybe onto one or two of the engines.
- Maybe, I said, Stanley.
Maybe.
It's only for a couple of hours.
What difference does it make? The boy's meant to be round here to see me.
Well, the boy was round here to see you all last night.
And where were you? Round her.
Dad, I really would like to go.
Why don't you come, Harvey? It's interesting.
- I don't wanna go all that way on my day off.
- Please, Dad! - Look, you go.
Don't be back late.
- Thanks a lot, Dad.
- Come on, Uncle Geoff.
- You're sure, Harvey? - I'm all right.
- Please yourself.
Back about four, Vi.
All right.
What have you got against Geoff? - Me? Nothing.
- Well, why didn't you go with them, then? You said you wanted to see more of the boy.
What's the matter with you? - Leave it, Mum.
- You don't like the way they get on together.
- That's not true.
- No? Look, I just wanna spend a quiet afternoon by myself, all right? You don't know what you do want.
It's a good job Stan's got Geoff to play with.
He never knew his granddad.
- You can't keep Frieda hanging about forever.
- I know.
No, and sitting there on your BTM ain't gonna help! Misery! - I ain't sure about this, Maggie.
- It'll be OK.
She's a nice old sort.
But I don't see how it's gonna help us.
If I knew that, I wouldn't have had to take two hours off work! All right, don't shout at me.
- It was nice of Leo to give you the time off.
- Well, it is in his interest.
Eh? We might get a lead or something.
Oh, a lead, eh? Sounds like one of them detective films, don't it? Where they don't leave any trace or any clue they've been near the scene of the crime.
Well, you couldn't say that in this case, could you? Glad your eye's better, Veronica.
Don't suppose you're looking for your old jobs back? - No, Miss Waters.
- Pity.
I've been trying to do a little advertisement to get people to work here.
I want something that'll really catch their eyes.
You could always try what we used to say on the line, actually making the johnnies.
Oh, what was that? "A job where you can really stretch yourself.
" That used to kill Big Doris, that one.
- Well, it's better - What was that other one she came out with? About the flame thrower and the trapeze artist.
Oh, that's right.
He's going through the jungle on the swing Veronica, what can I do for you? Most of it's already been done.
Oh, well! Congratulations, Veronica.
I didn't know you'd got married.
Who's the lucky chap? We was rather hoping you might be able to tell us that.
Me? No? Oh, no.
Not the Bank Holiday beano to West Cliff? And you don't remember a thing? - Well, there was a lot to drink, weren't there? - We was hoping for some clues.
We did take 12 charas to the coast, Maggie.
And she's not the only one, love.
I've got three other girls leaving at the end of next month because of that outing.
It's very embarrassing for the board of directors.
- Why? - They didn't get them up the stick, did they? No, no! But it's not the greatest advertisement for the company, is it? No, don't suppose it is, is it? - Frieda! - Adrian.
- I thought you were still in Paris? - How are you? Terribly busy, actually.
Do you know Julia Whittaker? - Marvellous sculptress.
- Hello.
- Adrian.
- Sorry, we must rush.
- No, of course.
- But let's have drinks next week.
Dying to hear about Paris.
I've got nothing against blokes with hair over their collar, no.
But some people wanna paint pretty pictures of the world.
Some of us wanna grab hold of it by the scruff of the neck and change it.
I mean, I love you First sign of madness, Harvey, talking to yourself.
I was just practising.
- Who were you supposed to be talking to? - No-one.
Working on something for the council.
If you say so.
- I want your advice.
- Is that a joke? Suppose I decide we decide, me and Reet, not to go ahead with the divorce? - I'm not a solicitor.
- I'm asking you as a mate.
Oh.
Are you intending to seek a reconciliation? - Maybe.
- Really? After all that's been said? Yeah, but when you get down to brass tacks, we're still man and wife.
- What about your German lady friend? - Austrian.
Ask yourself this question, Harvey.
- Do you love her? - Who? - The German.
- It's nothing to do with love.
It's about the boy Well, you've asked my advi Look, what I wanna know is, if me and Reet can't make a go of it, can I still go for custody of the boy? "Make a go of it"? You can only proceed in a divorce on the assumption that marital relations have ceased.
Eh? If you dip your toe back into the water, you won't have a leg to stand on.
- Show us.
- Perfect.
Oi! And the other one.
If that one's clean, then that one is.
Cos you don't play football with one leg.
- Show us the other one.
- Other one! I don't believe you! Look at the state of that! You dirty Arab! Wash the bath.
Are you going anywhere special with this Alfie tonight? Don't think so.
Why? Why don't you bring him round here? So you can have a butcher's, you mean? Your dad's coming.
We'll go out for a drink later.
Oh, yeah, that'd be lovely, that would.
No, no, I'm very good company.
Anyway, I must admit, I'm a bit curious.
From what Veronica says, he's the answer to a maiden's prayer.
But that don't matter.
You can still have a go! If that's the mood you're in, I'm not letting him anywhere near you.
He's nice.
- Oh, hello, Frieda! - I was looking for Mrs Moon.
Oh, I expect she's home by now.
- Unless they was extra busy at the saloon.
- No, no, I mean Mrs Moon.
Yeah, I know you do.
I just explained.
No, I mean Mrs Moon who lives here.
- Oh, you mean Maggie's nan, Mrs Moon! - Yes, and Harvey's mother, Mrs Moon.
Of course, I keep forgetting she's Mrs Moon an' all.
And if Mags was to get married, - then she'd be Mrs Moon.
- No, surely she'd And if you were to marry Mr Moon, then you'd be Mrs Moon! - I'll come back.
- No, no, come in, come in.
She won't be long.
She's gonna help me with my knitting when she comes back.
Go on, you sit down.
I'll make you a cuppa.
She knows someone who can get tea off the ration.
That's where she's gone.
That's Maggie's nan, Mrs Moon.
Won't be long.
So, Veronica, you must be very excited about the baby, no? Oh, yeah, especially staying round Leo's.
Oh, it's a lovely neighbourhood for bringing up a baby.
And they've got trees in the street.
- Well, Leo is a very good man.
- Yeah.
I'm gonna make some new loose covers for his sofa while I'm there.
Do you know, he sent me round here in a taxi, and he's gonna send for one to fetch me back.
- Later on, of course.
- Well, he is a very generous man.
Yeah.
Well, he's got a bit of a knees-up tonight.
And I didn't wanna cramp his style, you know.
Of course, he said it's only gonna be a quiet, little do, and there wouldn't be no ladies.
But I bet there'll be ladies, and dancing an' all.
- Are you sure? - Yes.
Well, when I was leaving, they had the radiogram going.
There was two blokes practising with each other.
Yes, of course, Leo is a very keen dancer.
I remember.
Well, he's won competitions dancing with Maggie's mum, hasn't he? Mind you, I expect she'll be dancing with Mr Moon now.
Why? Of course, you don't know, do you? You've been away! Oh, I'm ever so pleased for Stanley.
It's lovely for him, his mum and dad getting back together again.
I was surprised, I can tell you.
- All right, someone did mention - Now we're getting somewhere! - Dick Elliott's gonna cop it! - It's nothing to do with Dick! - So, who put you up to it? - No-one put me up to nothing! Oh, yeah, so how did you become a legal eagle? Look, someone mentioned something about it to me, all right.
But I didn't know nothing about this Foster v Foster.
I wasn't up to nothing! - You expect me to believe that? - It's the truth.
I'm telling you the truth! - That'd make a change! - You look back to last Saturday, all right? Whose idea was it to go out? It was yours.
You know a good opportunity when you see one.
Whose idea was it to come here? I didn't twist your arm.
- You didn't make it difficult neither! - Cos I fancied you! - I might be daft enough to fall back in bed - Thank God things are back to normal.
- Come on through, I'll introduce you.
- You haven't changed! - Neither have you.
You're still a devious mare! - You told me to bring him back for a quiet drink.
- Don't call me a devious mare! - I know who put you up to it! This is them back together, is it? I know it seems - This is all right.
This is normal.
- I've got it.
You're Alfie Wells, the boxer! - Boxer? You know I hate violence! - Look, Mags You didn't know she was mean? She'd skin a gnat for a ha'penny.
I'm surprised you're surprised.
I can't believe Rita would stoop so low.
Stoop so low? She'd break her back to get her own ends.
She's been your Waterloo right from the start.
- Eh? - Into the valley of death rode the 600.
- That was Balaclava.
- Exactly.
Cannon fodder, that's what you are! - She won't have it all her own way.
- It's too late now.
You walked right into it.
- Well, it's over now.
I know where I stand.
- Oh, no, you don't.
Cos Frieda was up here earlier.
And she knows what you've been up to an' all.
Can I come in? How are you? Eric around? - Oh, look, what can I - You made a fool of me, Harvey, such a fool.
I made a fool of myself an' all.
- Why didn't you tell me? - I was trying to get round to it.
I wasn't exactly sure what to tell you.
- Have you told Eric yet? - It's got nothing to do with Eric! Trust Veronica to spill the beans.
- So Veronica is to blame for this? - I suppose not.
Well, what should I say? Congratulations.
It's Rita's way of getting the boy back.
- What are you talking about? - There's no way I can sue for divorce now.
- You mean Rita planned this? - Yeah.
Don't be ridiculous! I'm not interested in why she did it, but why you did it? I was lonely.
Small wonder, the things you said before you left.
Didn't think you cared.
Oh, God, Harvey, you've really hurt me.
For months now, you've been accusing me of having an affair with Adrian.
Which I haven't.
But it's all right for you, isn't it? When my back's turned, you go off with someone! It ain't someone! That is the mother of my children! Oh, God! Typical! A minute ago, you were getting divorced.
Now, all of a sudden, she's the mother of your children! Well, I can't take this! If you think that I'm gonna sit around waiting for you to decide - You know, I trusted you.
- Yeah, well, I didn't trust you.
Ow! No, I'm sorry.
Harvey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that.
Please, I I didn't mean to do that.
I'm sorry.
Anyway, that's us.
Back to square one.
You sound as if you really do mind.
Well, it don't matter now, one way or the other, does it? Anyway, I went down the solicitor's this morning.
I told them to rush the divorce through.
Harvey will think that's what you wanted all along.
- Yeah, well, that's what he thinks now, innit? - And was it? What? Was it what you wanted all along? Well, it's too late now, innit? - Hello, son.
- Mum.
- Where's Stanley? - He's out.
- Where? - He's at Geoff's.
- Again? - Well, I thought you wouldn't mind.
You've been so busy with your own problems this week.
If you ask me, it's a good job he's got someone else to turn to.
- What are they up to? He's round there a lot.
- Don't know.
Geoff said he had a treat for him.
- Hello, Harvey! - Hello, I came round to see what you're up to.
- Come in.
- Hello, Dad.
Where did you get this? - I've always told you about Geoff's train set.
- Did you? - You said I can come and play with it.
- How long have you had it? Since Albert was a lad.
I used to play with it a bit when his kids were small.
- But they didn't come round often.
- Lot of work gone in.
Yeah, I did a lot of that myself, you know.
I had the tools down the workshop.
- I had one when I was a boy.
- This is a Hornby No 1 Special.
Geoff drove something like this, Dad.
- Move over, son, let me work the points.
- Harvey, you can be the signalman.
I'll be the guard, with a whistle and a flag.
Right.
- What can I be? - You can be the station master.
- What does he do? - See we don't get into mischief.
- No, I'll wind up - No, you've done it.
Ready, Harvey? - Yeah.
- Right.
- There she Oh, no, you've got a tunnel! - Yes, lovely.
I've got a better one than that.
- You haven't got any mail bags? - I have upstairs.
Of course, the thing with Harvey is, you've gotta let him have his head sometimes, make his own mistakes.
- Like with Rita.
- I hope not too often, though.
Yeah, I know that took a bit of understanding.
But he's a decent boy at heart.
And you've been so good for him, Frieda.
- Do you really think so? - Of course you have! I've never been able to understand why it's taken the two of you so long to sort things out.
Well, I wouldn't say things are sorted out yet.
No, I mean, what seems to be the problem between you? It's difficult to explain, but this business with Rita has brought things to a head, Mrs Moon.
About time you called me Violet.
I hope you two appreciate this.
It'll taste all the better, having been made by you, love.
- So what's happening with the exhibition, then? - Oh, was this in Paris, like? - Yes.
- You should take Harvey with you next time.
I mean, then he could wear that lovely beret you bought him.
He'd look all right in it over there.
Hello.
- Oh, hello, love! - Hello, Mags.
How's Alfie? - Dunno.
I ain't seen him.
- I'm sorry I put my foot in it.
- Never mind your foot.
What about my fist? - He must think we're a right mob.
He led me right up the garden path, just like all men.
Do I get a cup of tea, then? - He's a handy boxer.
- I don't care! He lied to me.
I told him right from the beginning I didn't like boxing.
I said it's stupid and vicious, like the people who do it.
He agreed, said it was his mate who was a boxer.
Ah, but do you like him? He wants me to go and watch him on Thursday.
- Are you going? - No.
Not on my own, I'm not.
Hey, we can all go, make a family outing of it.
Stan would love it.
- Is your mum gonna be there? - If Stan's coming, I'll have to ask Mum.
- Count me out, then.
- Oh, Dad, you've gotta start talking sometime.
She's right.
You're going, and that's settled.
Innit? - What's she doing in there? - Changing her earrings.
- How long does it take to change earrings? - What do you reckon his chances are? Very good.
If the odds are at all reasonable, I might wager a few bob on him.
- Yeah, I think I might an' all.
- You don't know nothing about betting.
Well, I'll get Leo to do it for me.
- I'd be delighted, Veronica.
- I knew you would.
I knew someone who swallowed an earring.
- Would you put some money on for me? - I don't think your mother would approve.
I don't see why I should miss out on a chance to make some money.
I've got two and a tanner.
If the going looks good, I'll put the whole lot on.
I hope he don't get hurt.
I couldn't stand that.
I don't want him to hurt the other bloke too much.
Make your mind up.
It's gotta be one or the other.
Well, I hope he hammers the other bloke into the canvas.
Especially if I've got my few bob on him.
I hope he knocks him senseless.
I hope he pounds him into a bloody pulp.
I hope he gives him a good bang, and then another one - You all right, Veronica? - Yes, thanks, Mrs Moon.
Well, come on! What are you waiting for? Hey, where have you been? We've been here half an hour.
We went for a cup of tea.
Reet.
Harvey.
Is that it? What? Well, the idea was to get you two together so you could talk to each other.
We just did.
Thank you, thank you! Thank you.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
- Evening! - The first bout of this evening is a welterweight contest of six rounds between, in the red corner, the big puncher from Wapping, Danny Davis! And opposing him, ladies and gentlemen, in the blue corner, Big Georgie Tatum! Alfie! - You said - I changed my mind.
- Well, thanks for - It's all right.
- I'll see you after, yeah? - All right.
Good luck.
Ta.
- Sorry.
- It's all right.
- Oh, hello, Veronica.
- Oh, hello, Ian.
You look nice without your goggles.
Oh, ta.
- Are you here for the fight? - No, I'm just here to watch.
How are things down at the johnny factory? Bit "stretched" at the moment.
- Here, I've been promoted.
- Oh! - Quality control.
- Oh, lovely.
Yeah.
- Well, I'd better be going.
- Yeah, me, too.
Here, Veronica, I never knew you was married.
Oh, I ain't.
It was the works beano.
- Oh.
- Got a bit tiddly.
Mind you, everybody said I had ever such a good time.
- Veronica, my tea! - I'd better be going, then.
Yeah.
- See you.
- See you.
Bye.
To the fourth contest of this evening's programme.
In the red corner, a member of that well-known, well-loved, and very well-respected East End family, Joe Santini! And in the blue corner, Alfie Wells! Oi, didn't you see that, ref? - Uncle Leo! - Just a second.
- No, quick, this is important.
- Thank you.
- Thinks he's done his hand in.
- Which one? - His left hand.
- No, which boxer? The other one.
I'd have another half a crown on Alfie, if I had it.
But I ain't.
What a pity.
I have.
Come on, Alfie! You show him! You give him one! Oooh! That's nice, innit? You can have it as a souvenir.
Come on, Alfie! - I've gotta go to the place again.
- Oh, what a time to choose! Well, I can't help it! - Come with us, Mags.
- No.
- Oh, go on! - No! I won't be a minute.
Come on, Alfie! Veronica, I've gotta have a word with you.
- Hello, Ian.
- Are you still here? Oh, hello, Ian.
- Hello, Maggie.
All right? - Yeah.
How's Big Doris? Oh, she's all right.
Now look Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten! Enjoy that, Vi? - Vi! - What? - Did you enjoy it? - Is it over? Yeah! - He won! - Blimey.
He won.
- Who was the bloke who found her? - Ian.
He works down the johnny factory.
- Where is he now? - Dunno.
He must have got lost in the crowd.
Mind yourselves.
Another customer.
Come on.
What? - Oh, my God! - Alfie! - I thought you said he won? - Well, he did.
If that's winning, what does it look like when you lose? Look, sis, he did win his fight.
Except those Santini brothers got him after.
- Oh, did they? - Where's Veronica? - In the ambulance.
Where have you been? - They went mad up there.
- How is she? - I think she might be having the baby early.
- I'm going with her.
- Oh, my gawd.
What? I'm gonna be a father.
Well, you've done a lot of damage for a little fella! Here, hang on, Mags, we've got him!