Steven Universe (2013) s04e05 Episode Script
Future Boy Zoltron
- Garnet: # We # - # Are the Crystal # - Steven: # Gems # - # we'll always save the day # Steven: # and if you think we can't # All: # we'll always find a way # - # that's why the people # - # of this world # Garnet: # believe in Garnet # - # Amethyst # - # and Pearl # Steven: # And Steven! # And your dad won't even let you alphabetize the condiments? That's rough.
[Mr.
Smiley whistling.]
Whoa, I want to see what that is.
Hi, Mr.
Smiley! Is that game new? [Laughs.]
Not even close.
I've had old Zoltron here in storage.
You got a quarter? We can see if he still works.
I am Zoltron, robot fortune teller from the future.
I know your future because I am from there.
Whoa! [Laughs.]
Go ahead, ask him anything.
I've just been dying to know.
Will I get that fancy kazoo I've always wanted? Your lucky numbers today are 16, 47, and "W.
" Can I have my quarter back? [Chuckles.]
If I had a quarter for every time somebody asked for their quarter back oh, wait, I do! - Ba-da-bum-ching! - What? It was a joke.
Man, I must be rusty.
Been a while since my comedy days.
- You used to be a comedian? - Yeah.
But that was a long time ago.
What were some of your jokes? I'd rather not talk about it.
Did you have any knock-knock jokes? You want to ask questions, ask Zoltron.
Hey, Zoltron.
Why did Mr.
Smiley quit comedy? You can do it, buddy.
Aah! I just gave him a little tap! A little tap?! Do you know how expensive this machine was?! I-It was an accident! I'll make it up to you! Please, I-I just don't want to be banned from any more of your businesses! [Laughs.]
Hmm.
Hey, you do a pretty good robot voice, don't you? [Laughing.]
Lars: Sadie, come on.
It's like all you want to do is work.
Let's go watch a movie at your place or something.
Nobody will even notice we're gone.
[Chuckles.]
Somebody'll notice.
You know, when they need a doughnut or something.
Steven: Beep, bop, boop.
I am Zoltron, robot fortune teller from the future.
Fetch me a quarter and I'll find your fortune.
- What is that? - Don't change the subject.
I'm not.
This is just interesting.
Ask me anything.
Ugh.
Look at its face.
All right, Zoltron.
Since you know everything, should we skip work? Oh, great.
Sick the robot on me.
You should go to work because because even though Lars won't admit it, he really likes to do a good job.
Letting people depend on him fills his heart with warm feelings like love and trust.
No, it doesn't.
And even though Sadie loves to take charge No, I don't.
she'll still be really impressed with all of your effort.
Is it weird that it knows our names? Yeah, I don't want to talk about it.
- You want to go to work? - Yeah, let's.
Halt! If you're not careful, Zoltron sees prison bars in your future.
[Sighs.]
[Music.]
Zoltron sees that both of you are right.
You do deserve your own rooms.
Zoltron predicts you won't need to worry about that stain.
You can make anything look cool.
Zoltron knows that even if he seems stuck in his ways, deep down, your father really loves you.
- How's it going out here? - Great! I really feel like I'm making a positive change in people's lives.
- Are they paying you for it? - Yes, sir! Then keep it up, Zoltron! Sure! [Wind whistling.]
[British accent.]
Hmm, a fortune-telling machine.
This should be good for a laugh.
That's right.
I am Zoltron! Beep, boop! Give me your questions and your money.
Was it a mistake to come here? Zoltron says, uh of course not? Um Funland is fun for all ages.
Will talking to him make any difference? - Any difference at all? - Zoltron isn't sure.
Human emotions are really complicated for Zoltron.
Tell me the truth.
Do I really just drive everyone around me away? Z-Zoltron says your lucky numbers for today are 16, 47, and "W.
" Come back later? [Gasps.]
My final quarter.
[Sighs.]
Even coins don't want to be around me.
[Sighs.]
Poor guy.
I wish I knew what to tell him.
If only I could see into the future like Garnet can.
I knew you'd say that.
Garnet! I-I need your help with The future.
Oh, yeah! I need some of that.
Can I borrow your future vision? I want to help some random stranger I just met.
That seems like an appropriate use of my powers.
[Smooches.]
There you go.
That should last a little while.
Try to be home in time for dinner! Thanks, Garnet! He's ready to answer your question.
Use this.
What would he say if he saw me now? He'll say, "I'm happy to see you.
" You're lying.
Nobody's happy to see me.
He'll say, "It's been too long.
" I'm too late? I should've come sooner! I don't know, I'm just a boy in a costume! [Sighs.]
Of course.
Everything in my life's a disappointment.
[Buzzer.]
Zoltron sees sadness in your future no matter what you do.
That sounds about right.
I guess the curtain really did close on Mr.
Smiley and Mr.
Frowney.
You're here to see Mr.
Smiley?! [Gasps.]
Nobody misses our act, not even him.
[Sighs.]
I don't know why I'm talking to a machine.
I'll just get on the bus and leave.
Zoltron says that's a question for your doctor.
Uh, Mr.
Smiley! Mr.
Smiley! Hey, don't break character.
You broke enough things today.
- I met Mr.
Frowney.
- What?! He's in town.
Uh, how did you know him? We used to have a routine.
Oh! Comedy.
But he didn't seem very funny.
Actually, he was really depressing.
Yeah, that was the bit.
At least, I thought it was, but even offstage, he was always sad.
Nothing would cheer him up, not even a packed house, not a standing ovation, not even me.
- And, boy, did I try.
- Well, he's about to leave town on a bus.
You should go talk to him before it's too late! I don't know what'd happen if I did.
Wow! Funny running into you.
Of course.
I'm still a punchline, aren't I? Hey! Wow! You look great! That's your best joke yet.
Hi, buddy! Is that all you have to say? [Buzzer.]
Zoltron sees sadness in your future, no matter what you do.
Ugh.
Come on, Steven.
Drop the act.
Wait a second.
You said you were always trying to make him happy.
Did he even know that he was making you sad? - You said he was getting on a bus? - Yeah.
[Music.]
- Harold? - Quentin.
How'd you know I was here? Little robot boy from the future told me.
- Uh, hi, again.
- He came to life! [Chuckles.]
No, fool.
Did you just come here to laugh at me? No! I'm here to tell you that I wanted it to work our act.
But it wasn't making you happy.
I just wanted you to take it seriously.
And I just wanted you to have fun.
Oh.
I guess it was never going to work.
But I really thought we had something.
- You having a bad day, Frowney? - Horrible.
Well, why don't you go outside?! - The sun always cheers me up! - I did, but it rained.
- Why don't you use an umbrella? - I did, but it blew away.
Ooh! You must have been shocked! Yeah, that's when the lightning hit me.
Oh! Smiley, what do you do you do when you're feeling down? I just take my frown and turn it around! [Chuckles.]
Hey, you're ruining the bit! I thought you were a professional.
[Chuckles.]
[Sighs.]
I think I finally got the joke.
Well, I guess my debt is repaid.
[Laughter.]
Steven, that machine cost thousands of dollars.
Zoltron sees cramped legs in his future.
[Mr.
Smiley whistling.]
Whoa, I want to see what that is.
Hi, Mr.
Smiley! Is that game new? [Laughs.]
Not even close.
I've had old Zoltron here in storage.
You got a quarter? We can see if he still works.
I am Zoltron, robot fortune teller from the future.
I know your future because I am from there.
Whoa! [Laughs.]
Go ahead, ask him anything.
I've just been dying to know.
Will I get that fancy kazoo I've always wanted? Your lucky numbers today are 16, 47, and "W.
" Can I have my quarter back? [Chuckles.]
If I had a quarter for every time somebody asked for their quarter back oh, wait, I do! - Ba-da-bum-ching! - What? It was a joke.
Man, I must be rusty.
Been a while since my comedy days.
- You used to be a comedian? - Yeah.
But that was a long time ago.
What were some of your jokes? I'd rather not talk about it.
Did you have any knock-knock jokes? You want to ask questions, ask Zoltron.
Hey, Zoltron.
Why did Mr.
Smiley quit comedy? You can do it, buddy.
Aah! I just gave him a little tap! A little tap?! Do you know how expensive this machine was?! I-It was an accident! I'll make it up to you! Please, I-I just don't want to be banned from any more of your businesses! [Laughs.]
Hmm.
Hey, you do a pretty good robot voice, don't you? [Laughing.]
Lars: Sadie, come on.
It's like all you want to do is work.
Let's go watch a movie at your place or something.
Nobody will even notice we're gone.
[Chuckles.]
Somebody'll notice.
You know, when they need a doughnut or something.
Steven: Beep, bop, boop.
I am Zoltron, robot fortune teller from the future.
Fetch me a quarter and I'll find your fortune.
- What is that? - Don't change the subject.
I'm not.
This is just interesting.
Ask me anything.
Ugh.
Look at its face.
All right, Zoltron.
Since you know everything, should we skip work? Oh, great.
Sick the robot on me.
You should go to work because because even though Lars won't admit it, he really likes to do a good job.
Letting people depend on him fills his heart with warm feelings like love and trust.
No, it doesn't.
And even though Sadie loves to take charge No, I don't.
she'll still be really impressed with all of your effort.
Is it weird that it knows our names? Yeah, I don't want to talk about it.
- You want to go to work? - Yeah, let's.
Halt! If you're not careful, Zoltron sees prison bars in your future.
[Sighs.]
[Music.]
Zoltron sees that both of you are right.
You do deserve your own rooms.
Zoltron predicts you won't need to worry about that stain.
You can make anything look cool.
Zoltron knows that even if he seems stuck in his ways, deep down, your father really loves you.
- How's it going out here? - Great! I really feel like I'm making a positive change in people's lives.
- Are they paying you for it? - Yes, sir! Then keep it up, Zoltron! Sure! [Wind whistling.]
[British accent.]
Hmm, a fortune-telling machine.
This should be good for a laugh.
That's right.
I am Zoltron! Beep, boop! Give me your questions and your money.
Was it a mistake to come here? Zoltron says, uh of course not? Um Funland is fun for all ages.
Will talking to him make any difference? - Any difference at all? - Zoltron isn't sure.
Human emotions are really complicated for Zoltron.
Tell me the truth.
Do I really just drive everyone around me away? Z-Zoltron says your lucky numbers for today are 16, 47, and "W.
" Come back later? [Gasps.]
My final quarter.
[Sighs.]
Even coins don't want to be around me.
[Sighs.]
Poor guy.
I wish I knew what to tell him.
If only I could see into the future like Garnet can.
I knew you'd say that.
Garnet! I-I need your help with The future.
Oh, yeah! I need some of that.
Can I borrow your future vision? I want to help some random stranger I just met.
That seems like an appropriate use of my powers.
[Smooches.]
There you go.
That should last a little while.
Try to be home in time for dinner! Thanks, Garnet! He's ready to answer your question.
Use this.
What would he say if he saw me now? He'll say, "I'm happy to see you.
" You're lying.
Nobody's happy to see me.
He'll say, "It's been too long.
" I'm too late? I should've come sooner! I don't know, I'm just a boy in a costume! [Sighs.]
Of course.
Everything in my life's a disappointment.
[Buzzer.]
Zoltron sees sadness in your future no matter what you do.
That sounds about right.
I guess the curtain really did close on Mr.
Smiley and Mr.
Frowney.
You're here to see Mr.
Smiley?! [Gasps.]
Nobody misses our act, not even him.
[Sighs.]
I don't know why I'm talking to a machine.
I'll just get on the bus and leave.
Zoltron says that's a question for your doctor.
Uh, Mr.
Smiley! Mr.
Smiley! Hey, don't break character.
You broke enough things today.
- I met Mr.
Frowney.
- What?! He's in town.
Uh, how did you know him? We used to have a routine.
Oh! Comedy.
But he didn't seem very funny.
Actually, he was really depressing.
Yeah, that was the bit.
At least, I thought it was, but even offstage, he was always sad.
Nothing would cheer him up, not even a packed house, not a standing ovation, not even me.
- And, boy, did I try.
- Well, he's about to leave town on a bus.
You should go talk to him before it's too late! I don't know what'd happen if I did.
Wow! Funny running into you.
Of course.
I'm still a punchline, aren't I? Hey! Wow! You look great! That's your best joke yet.
Hi, buddy! Is that all you have to say? [Buzzer.]
Zoltron sees sadness in your future, no matter what you do.
Ugh.
Come on, Steven.
Drop the act.
Wait a second.
You said you were always trying to make him happy.
Did he even know that he was making you sad? - You said he was getting on a bus? - Yeah.
[Music.]
- Harold? - Quentin.
How'd you know I was here? Little robot boy from the future told me.
- Uh, hi, again.
- He came to life! [Chuckles.]
No, fool.
Did you just come here to laugh at me? No! I'm here to tell you that I wanted it to work our act.
But it wasn't making you happy.
I just wanted you to take it seriously.
And I just wanted you to have fun.
Oh.
I guess it was never going to work.
But I really thought we had something.
- You having a bad day, Frowney? - Horrible.
Well, why don't you go outside?! - The sun always cheers me up! - I did, but it rained.
- Why don't you use an umbrella? - I did, but it blew away.
Ooh! You must have been shocked! Yeah, that's when the lightning hit me.
Oh! Smiley, what do you do you do when you're feeling down? I just take my frown and turn it around! [Chuckles.]
Hey, you're ruining the bit! I thought you were a professional.
[Chuckles.]
[Sighs.]
I think I finally got the joke.
Well, I guess my debt is repaid.
[Laughter.]
Steven, that machine cost thousands of dollars.
Zoltron sees cramped legs in his future.