Superjail! (2007) s04e05 Episode Script
Superstorm!
[ Moaning .]
[ Vomits .]
Yes! Whoo! Aah! Aah! [ Gulping .]
Ohh! Ahh.
Ahh.
Ahh.
Aaaaaah! [ Muttering .]
[ Giggles .]
[ Muttering .]
Ahh! Aaaaaah! Aaah! Aaah! [ Zoom! .]
Aah! Aah! Ugh! Ohh! Ohh! Ohh! Ohh! Aah.
Aaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaah! Oooh! Aaah! Aah! [ Groaning .]
[ Mid-tempo carnival music playing .]
Huh? [ Screeches .]
[ Chomps .]
[ Groaning .]
[ All groaning .]
[ Yoink! .]
All: Aaah! Huh? [ Gunshots .]
[ Laughs evilly .]
Aaaaah! [ German accent .]
Get ready for the main event! Grab your partner und proceed to the starting line! Jared: [ Sighs .]
If only I had a partner.
[ Crying .]
[ Ting! .]
[ Gasps .]
[ Zip! .]
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Warden: Stop moping.
It's time for my big race.
Alice or big race.
Give me your leg.
Warden: Ooh, sorry.
Did you not get the memo? I'm in it to win it this year, and I have a feeling that me and my new partner here are going to blow away the competition.
Alice: Whatever.
[ People cheering .]
[ Pistol fires .]
[ Beeping .]
[ Blowing .]
[ All screaming .]
Warden: [ Chuckles evilly .]
[ Beeping .]
[ Whip! Whip! .]
Watch out for those giant balls! Both: Ugh! [ Beeping .]
[ All screaming .]
Warden: Ugh! [ Whistle! .]
I won! I won! I won! [ Electricity zapping .]
Finally, I'm free.
Warden: Whoo! Sunshine, get over here.
You don't control me anymore.
Aaaah! Aaaah! [ Beeping .]
Warden: Wait! Come back here! [ Thunder crashes .]
Aaah! Both: Aaaaaah! Aaaaah! [ Vegetables shouting indistinctly .]
[ Munching .]
[ Whip! Splat! .]
[ Whimpering .]
Warden: Aaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaah! Both: Aaah! Aaaah! Aaah! Warden: [ Vomits .]
[ All screeching .]
Aaah! Aaaaah! I haven't even told you about the time that the outgoing mail accidentally got switched with the purchase orders for the laundry detail.
[ Snaps fingers .]
[ Swanky music playing .]
[ Heart beating .]
[ Sloop! .]
[ Belches .]
[ Growling .]
Kiss me.
Jared: [ Crying .]
Champagne? Oh, no.
I don't consume beverages that contain alcohol.
Jared: [ Sobbing .]
All this equipment sure is interesting.
Uhuh [ Gasps .]
Jared: [ Crying .]
Ahh! That's it! [ Muffled screaming .]
[ Whimpers .]
Prepare the operating slab! [ Thunder crashes .]
Jared: [ Sobbing .]
Goodbye, my love.
[ Knock on door .]
Huh?! Did it ever occur to somebody that I might be trying to kill myself in here and might appreciate--aah! Charise?! [ Thunder crashes .]
[ Gasps .]
[ Both smooching .]
Was? Sexy? Horny? [ Muttering .]
[ Rumbling .]
Warden: Aaaaaah! Alice: Ugh! Whoa.
Warden: Oh, no! That rascally robot ruined my favorite place in Superjail! [ Sobbing .]
Alice: Um we got bigger problems than candy canes and sugarplums.
[ Electricity zapping .]
Warden: [ Gasps .]
His head is bigger than mine? That's a direct violation of the Superjail constitution.
Wait till I get my hands on him.
Ohh.
Both: Ohh! [ Chuckles .]
Feeling sexy? What happened? Aah! I'm afraid the anesthesia has made you overly emotional! And to think I trusted you! Again.
Jared: Oh, no, Charise.
I need a breather.
Again! Jared: [ Chuckles .]
Where did you learn to do that thing with your feet? Wait! Did he show you that? [ Crying .]
Oh, Jared! I can't believe I fell for that jerk.
Jared: Charise! Ohh! Me? Jared: Wait! I thought-- but that's you! I would never do anything like this on the 78th date.
He's mine.
Aaah! Jared: Huh.
Hmm.
[ Electricity zapping .]
Warden: Listen-- we can do this nicely, or I can restore you to factory settings.
No, you listen.
I'm in control now.
Alice: Just reset the skank and let's go.
Who are you calling "skank," skank? Alice: That's it.
Warden: Wait a second.
We need something to stick in her hole-- something like this! Alice: Ugh! Naydo, squall, thunder, lightning! [ Whirl! Whirl! Whirl! .]
Aaah! Aaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaah! Ugh! [ Electricity zapping .]
Aaaah! Aaaaah! Pathetic.
Both: Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! Of course! [ Squishing .]
[ Creak! Pop! .]
The added electricity in phase 1 accelerated phase 3 with rapid multiplications of highly electrified genome, replacing the normal low libido with that of a slut! [ Pop! .]
[ Electricity zapping .]
[ Zapping intensifies .]
[ Thunder crashes .]
God, I am a genius! I just came to get my things.
[ Thunder crashes .]
Uh, I'll walk you out.
Aaah! [ Thunder crashes .]
We're not practicing good weather safety here.
Ja, ja, ja.
[ Rustling .]
Jared: We're not practicing good weather safety here.
Aaaaaaaaaah! Jared: Charise?! Help! Blizz! Duster! Acid rain! Quake! [ Wham! .]
Both: Ohhh! Alice: Ugh! Aah! Alice: Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh.
Huh? Aaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! Whoa! Aaah! Alice: [ Grunting .]
[ All gasp, scream .]
[ Blows .]
Alice: [ Chuckles .]
[ Whimpering .]
Aaah! [ Mid-tempo music plays .]
Aaaah! All: Aah! Aah! Warden: He-e-e-e-e-lp! Alice: Ugh! [ Cats yowling .]
[ Growls .]
[ Mid-tempo mellow music plays .]
[ Thunder crashes .]
All: Aaaaaaah! [ Beeping .]
Huh? [ Gingerbread men whimpering .]
[ Twinkle! .]
All: Aaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaah! [ Gasping and screaming .]
Huh? [ Cheering .]
Aah! Aaaaaah! [ Twinkle! .]
Both: Aaaah! [ Zap! Zoom! Zap! .]
[ Groans .]
[ Twinkle! .]
Warden: I'm forecasting a climate change here.
You imbeciles! Attack him, not each other! [ Zap! Zoom! .]
Warden: Follow my lead! Alice: Ugh! Aaaaah! Wh-o-o-o-o-oa! Oh-oh-oh-oh! [ Roars .]
Aaaaaaah! [ Whirring .]
Ohhh! [ Pop! .]
Warden: Ooh.
Ugh.
There.
[ Zoom! .]
[ Zap! .]
[ Warble! Twinkle! .]
[ Zap! Zap! Zap! Zap! .]
[ Boom! .]
I did it! I wear the pants in this universe! [ Thunder crashing .]
[ Electricity zapping .]
Aaaaaaaaaaaah! [ Laughs evilly .]
Jared: Charise?! Ugh! Ohh! [ Grunting .]
Aaaaaaaaah! [ Zap! Boom! .]
[ Twinkle! .]
Jared! Jared: Ahh.
You're my hero! Oh, is that a stapler in your pocket? Jared: More like a hole puncher.
[ Zap! Zap! Zap! .]
Whichever.
We sure do have a lot of talking to catch up on.
Jared: Right--talking.
How could I forget? Ugh! [ Both moaning .]
[ Chuckles .]
[ Both moaning and smooching .]
Mm.
[ Chuckles .]
[ Moaning and smooching continue .]
Chirp.
God, I am a ge
[ Vomits .]
Yes! Whoo! Aah! Aah! [ Gulping .]
Ohh! Ahh.
Ahh.
Ahh.
Aaaaaah! [ Muttering .]
[ Giggles .]
[ Muttering .]
Ahh! Aaaaaah! Aaah! Aaah! [ Zoom! .]
Aah! Aah! Ugh! Ohh! Ohh! Ohh! Ohh! Aah.
Aaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaah! Oooh! Aaah! Aah! [ Groaning .]
[ Mid-tempo carnival music playing .]
Huh? [ Screeches .]
[ Chomps .]
[ Groaning .]
[ All groaning .]
[ Yoink! .]
All: Aaah! Huh? [ Gunshots .]
[ Laughs evilly .]
Aaaaah! [ German accent .]
Get ready for the main event! Grab your partner und proceed to the starting line! Jared: [ Sighs .]
If only I had a partner.
[ Crying .]
[ Ting! .]
[ Gasps .]
[ Zip! .]
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Warden: Stop moping.
It's time for my big race.
Alice or big race.
Give me your leg.
Warden: Ooh, sorry.
Did you not get the memo? I'm in it to win it this year, and I have a feeling that me and my new partner here are going to blow away the competition.
Alice: Whatever.
[ People cheering .]
[ Pistol fires .]
[ Beeping .]
[ Blowing .]
[ All screaming .]
Warden: [ Chuckles evilly .]
[ Beeping .]
[ Whip! Whip! .]
Watch out for those giant balls! Both: Ugh! [ Beeping .]
[ All screaming .]
Warden: Ugh! [ Whistle! .]
I won! I won! I won! [ Electricity zapping .]
Finally, I'm free.
Warden: Whoo! Sunshine, get over here.
You don't control me anymore.
Aaaah! Aaaah! [ Beeping .]
Warden: Wait! Come back here! [ Thunder crashes .]
Aaah! Both: Aaaaaah! Aaaaah! [ Vegetables shouting indistinctly .]
[ Munching .]
[ Whip! Splat! .]
[ Whimpering .]
Warden: Aaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaah! Both: Aaah! Aaaah! Aaah! Warden: [ Vomits .]
[ All screeching .]
Aaah! Aaaaah! I haven't even told you about the time that the outgoing mail accidentally got switched with the purchase orders for the laundry detail.
[ Snaps fingers .]
[ Swanky music playing .]
[ Heart beating .]
[ Sloop! .]
[ Belches .]
[ Growling .]
Kiss me.
Jared: [ Crying .]
Champagne? Oh, no.
I don't consume beverages that contain alcohol.
Jared: [ Sobbing .]
All this equipment sure is interesting.
Uhuh [ Gasps .]
Jared: [ Crying .]
Ahh! That's it! [ Muffled screaming .]
[ Whimpers .]
Prepare the operating slab! [ Thunder crashes .]
Jared: [ Sobbing .]
Goodbye, my love.
[ Knock on door .]
Huh?! Did it ever occur to somebody that I might be trying to kill myself in here and might appreciate--aah! Charise?! [ Thunder crashes .]
[ Gasps .]
[ Both smooching .]
Was? Sexy? Horny? [ Muttering .]
[ Rumbling .]
Warden: Aaaaaah! Alice: Ugh! Whoa.
Warden: Oh, no! That rascally robot ruined my favorite place in Superjail! [ Sobbing .]
Alice: Um we got bigger problems than candy canes and sugarplums.
[ Electricity zapping .]
Warden: [ Gasps .]
His head is bigger than mine? That's a direct violation of the Superjail constitution.
Wait till I get my hands on him.
Ohh.
Both: Ohh! [ Chuckles .]
Feeling sexy? What happened? Aah! I'm afraid the anesthesia has made you overly emotional! And to think I trusted you! Again.
Jared: Oh, no, Charise.
I need a breather.
Again! Jared: [ Chuckles .]
Where did you learn to do that thing with your feet? Wait! Did he show you that? [ Crying .]
Oh, Jared! I can't believe I fell for that jerk.
Jared: Charise! Ohh! Me? Jared: Wait! I thought-- but that's you! I would never do anything like this on the 78th date.
He's mine.
Aaah! Jared: Huh.
Hmm.
[ Electricity zapping .]
Warden: Listen-- we can do this nicely, or I can restore you to factory settings.
No, you listen.
I'm in control now.
Alice: Just reset the skank and let's go.
Who are you calling "skank," skank? Alice: That's it.
Warden: Wait a second.
We need something to stick in her hole-- something like this! Alice: Ugh! Naydo, squall, thunder, lightning! [ Whirl! Whirl! Whirl! .]
Aaah! Aaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaah! Ugh! [ Electricity zapping .]
Aaaah! Aaaaah! Pathetic.
Both: Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! Of course! [ Squishing .]
[ Creak! Pop! .]
The added electricity in phase 1 accelerated phase 3 with rapid multiplications of highly electrified genome, replacing the normal low libido with that of a slut! [ Pop! .]
[ Electricity zapping .]
[ Zapping intensifies .]
[ Thunder crashes .]
God, I am a genius! I just came to get my things.
[ Thunder crashes .]
Uh, I'll walk you out.
Aaah! [ Thunder crashes .]
We're not practicing good weather safety here.
Ja, ja, ja.
[ Rustling .]
Jared: We're not practicing good weather safety here.
Aaaaaaaaaah! Jared: Charise?! Help! Blizz! Duster! Acid rain! Quake! [ Wham! .]
Both: Ohhh! Alice: Ugh! Aah! Alice: Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh.
Huh? Aaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! Whoa! Aaah! Alice: [ Grunting .]
[ All gasp, scream .]
[ Blows .]
Alice: [ Chuckles .]
[ Whimpering .]
Aaah! [ Mid-tempo music plays .]
Aaaah! All: Aah! Aah! Warden: He-e-e-e-e-lp! Alice: Ugh! [ Cats yowling .]
[ Growls .]
[ Mid-tempo mellow music plays .]
[ Thunder crashes .]
All: Aaaaaaah! [ Beeping .]
Huh? [ Gingerbread men whimpering .]
[ Twinkle! .]
All: Aaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaah! [ Gasping and screaming .]
Huh? [ Cheering .]
Aah! Aaaaaah! [ Twinkle! .]
Both: Aaaah! [ Zap! Zoom! Zap! .]
[ Groans .]
[ Twinkle! .]
Warden: I'm forecasting a climate change here.
You imbeciles! Attack him, not each other! [ Zap! Zoom! .]
Warden: Follow my lead! Alice: Ugh! Aaaaah! Wh-o-o-o-o-oa! Oh-oh-oh-oh! [ Roars .]
Aaaaaaah! [ Whirring .]
Ohhh! [ Pop! .]
Warden: Ooh.
Ugh.
There.
[ Zoom! .]
[ Zap! .]
[ Warble! Twinkle! .]
[ Zap! Zap! Zap! Zap! .]
[ Boom! .]
I did it! I wear the pants in this universe! [ Thunder crashing .]
[ Electricity zapping .]
Aaaaaaaaaaaah! [ Laughs evilly .]
Jared: Charise?! Ugh! Ohh! [ Grunting .]
Aaaaaaaaah! [ Zap! Boom! .]
[ Twinkle! .]
Jared! Jared: Ahh.
You're my hero! Oh, is that a stapler in your pocket? Jared: More like a hole puncher.
[ Zap! Zap! Zap! .]
Whichever.
We sure do have a lot of talking to catch up on.
Jared: Right--talking.
How could I forget? Ugh! [ Both moaning .]
[ Chuckles .]
[ Both moaning and smooching .]
Mm.
[ Chuckles .]
[ Moaning and smooching continue .]
Chirp.
God, I am a ge