The Closer s04e05 Episode Script
Dial M For Provenza
PROVENZA: Angie, how else can I say it? I don't want lunch.
- Yes, you do.
- No, I don't.
(ANGIE LAUGHING) Come on.
Did anyone ever tell you you're a big old grouch? You're the first.
(ANGIE CHUCKLING) At least you're a big old sexy grouch.
(LAUGHING) Come on.
Please? They have pancakes here.
Angie! I just killed your husband an hour ago.
I don't want pancakes.
ANGIE: So what? Come on.
You're gonna go on the run on an empty stomach? Look, I own half a car dealership now.
I'm rich.
I'll buy.
Buzz, are we getting all this? Well, if you're asking if I can do anything about this truck noise in the background, - I'm not a magician.
- It's not going in a festival.
I was just asking if we were recording or not.
ANGIE: Really? (SIGHS) I can't decide what's more nauseating.
Her trying to kill her husband or watching her come on to Provenza.
ANGIE: Well Chief.
We have guns.
We can stop this.
And then we just wait for proof that he's dead.
Proof? Proof? Here's his wallet.
The proof we agreed on.
Now, here.
You take the wallet.
Now, you give me the $20,000.
No.
No, I'll give you the money when the cops call me and say that they found the body.
- Lieutenant Flynn.
- Already on it, Chief.
(CELL PHONE RINGING) ANGIE: Hello? FL YNN: Yes.
Hello.
FLYNN: Is this Ms.
Anush Serabian? It's Angie Serabian.
Yeah.
Yes, this is Lieutenant Flynn of the LAPD.
Oh.
- (LAUGHING) It's a cop.
- Don't say where you are.
- Hi.
- FL YNN: Hi.
Are you sitting down, ma 'am? No, no.
Actually, I'm standing, in a parking lot in Bakersfield.
(SIGHS) Listen, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but your husband was shot in an apparent robbery, and he's dead.
(EX CLAIMS) Oh, no! (MOCK CRYING) Oh, my God! I don't believe it! Okay.
Okay.
- Now, give me the money.
- All right.
Don't be so pushy.
(CHUCKLING) Now, that's what I'm talking about, Angie.
Money is exchanged.
- And so ends another Provenza date.
- Hmm.
George, you're really gonna call me, right? Angie, baby.
I promise.
Mmm.
You have not seen the last of me.
(CHUCKLES) Mmm.
(CHUCKLING) ANGIE: Oh, George, cut it out.
Angie Serabian, you're under arrest for the attempted murder of Alex Serabian.
SANCHEZ: Hands on the car.
ANGIE: What are you talking about? DANIELS: You have the right to remain silent.
If you refuse to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Get your hands off me! Stop it! Ms.
Serabian, I'm Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson of the LAPD.
Let me tell you something.
I'm not here to kill anyone.
I'm here on a date.
You tell them, George! Thank you.
Thank you.
Hold the applause.
I'm here all week.
(LAUGHING) You lied to me! He didn't tell me he was lying, so you can't arrest me.
Ms.
Serabian, sign this waiver, or I'll be forced to leave you in Bakersfield, and it'll be at least a week until you're arraigned in LA.
- I'm not signing anything.
- PROVENZA: Angie.
- ANGIE: No! - Sign the waiver, sweetie pie.
And I tell you what.
We'll drive back together, and I'll even throw in a nice, romantic lunch.
FLYNN: You sure it's not gonna be too hot in there? And what? Melt the videotape? No.
Here.
- Hey, this is not your property! - Hey, I need the wallet.
PROVENZA: Here we go.
Oh, please.
Not with that stupid thing again.
Listen, all my evidence is in here, and I'm taking no chances.
FLYNN: Come on, let's go.
ANGIE: You know what I can tell about you? - FLYNN: What? - You hate women.
No.
Just you.
FLYNN: Come on.
ANGIE: You're pinching my arm again.
- FLYNN: Here we go.
- No sea una bitch! WOMAN: Who are you calling a bitch for? (SPEAKING SPANISH) WOMAN: Are you? MAN: Rosie, you been riding us all day, girl.
Chill out.
And now you're taking his side? Whatever, man.
Yeah, I'm gonna take his side, perra.
Get used to it.
I'm not even hungry anymore.
And I can't believe you lied to me, George.
George didn't lie to you, Angie.
I did.
- And my name isn't George.
- Well, what is it, then? Lieutenant.
You know, you need to quit laughing and judging me.
- I was in a really bad marriage.
- Hey, listen, sweetie.
Between us, we've been stuck in six bad marriages.
We just didn't choose to murder our way out.
Though I understand the urge.
I bet your wife never cut up your credit cards or made you feel like a cheap prostitute.
Or made you dance naked in front of your AA friends.
Your husband let you have credit cards? (CHUCKLES) What's gonna happen to me, George? Oh, Angie, it's not gonna be that bad.
You'll be off to Parker Center.
You'll like that.
They're gonna take your picture, they're gonna fingerprint you, and they're gonna book you.
I mean, who knows? Be a gas.
Um What's gonna happen to me after that? And then we give the surveillance tape and the 20 grand over to the DA.
Do you really think you have enough evidence to put me in jail? (CHUCKLING) Are you serious? Once the jury sees the evidence that we have in that car, you're out of here.
Am I right? - Now what did you lose? - Cell phone.
I left it in the car.
You know, you should be really worried about your friend George.
I mean, I had to tell him three times where to find my husband.
Don't worry about him.
That guy's at the top of his game.
(CHUCKLES) Look, you got to order something off the menu, because starting tomorrow, it's gonna be nothing but powdered eggs and burritos.
Do you think all the evidence was in the car? Every bit of it.
Oh, my God.
Maybe I should call the cops.
(ANGIE CHUCKLES) The real cops, right? (CHUCKLES) Oh, too bad for you, and great for me! (ANGIE LAUGHING) Am I sorry that we ruined your afternoon off? FLYNN: You betcha.
But, Chief, if I tried, I mean, I couldn't count the number of things that went right today.
Start with the things that didn't, like how you lost the evidence we need to prosecute an open-and-shut case of attempted murder! Brenda, the evidence isn't lost.
It's just out for a joyride.
I don't need sarcasm.
I need the evidence.
Don't look at me, the FBI stopped manufacturing evidence in the late '90s.
(STIFLED CHUCKLES) Chief, have we suffered a setback? Unquestionably.
But even if, God forbid, even if we never find the video or the money or my car, Angie Serabian can still be prosecuted.
FLYNN: He's right.
With a little finesse, Angie could confess.
(PROVENZA AND FLYNN CHUCKLE) You must have a little more faith than I do in the Lieutenant's charisma.
ALEX: How could you do this to me? - I don't know what - ALEX: How could you do this to me? For 25 years, I give you everything.
A house, a car, new tits.
And this is how you pay me back? - You bitch! - You're a (ALL EX CLAIMING) Commander, what is going on here? Mr.
Serabian wanted to retrieve his wallet and meet the arresting detectives.
Up till now, I had no idea about this afternoon's complications.
Is that my shirt? You give him my lucky dice shirt? Do you see the mother you have? BRENDA: Commander, please remove Mr.
Serabian and his family this instant! Wait! You, in my shirt.
How much money did she give you to kill me? $20,000.
Where did you get that kind of money, except by stealing it from me? Oh, my God.
I don't know anything about any money or Or any attempted murder, either.
Ms.
Serabian, my entire squad saw you give Lieutenant Provenza here an envelope of cash because you thought he murdered your husband.
And as soon as I know where you got that money, I'm gonna be halfway to convicting you.
HOVNAN: Ms.
Chief, perhaps if you could give my brother his wallet, we could all go home now? Uh, yeah.
Look, Mr.
Serabian, we want to thank you for giving us your wallet to assist in the arrest of your wife.
Unfortunately, it was stolen, along with all the other evidence, so you might want to cancel your credit cards and things, and - Oh, God.
- How inept are you people? You wouldn't believe this bunch.
Chief Johnson, a word.
Stay.
- Where did you get the money? - I entered your picture in an ugly contest, and you won the grand prize.
Since you cannot hold her more than 48 hours after booking, you might want to consider releasing her now and then bringing her back in when you have a chance to locate the missing evidence.
(SHOUTING) Detective Sanchez, please take Ms.
Serabian here to processing, and let me know when she's ready to be released.
And, Mr.
Serabian, you are staying right here.
(ALEX YELLS) (SINGSONG) Ha-ha.
I get to go home.
Bye, Georgie.
So, that's it? No, that's not it.
She'll probably try to kill you again.
BRENDA: The operation was entirely successful.
Murder was prevented.
However, in the aftermath, there was a small complication.
Mmm-hmm.
While buying food for the suspect, Lieutenant Provenza's car, with all the evidence, was stolen.
(LAUGHING) You're kidding, right? And because I believe that Ms.
Serabian remains capable of carrying out her murder-for-hire plans, we need to protect the husband while searching for Lieutenant Provenza's car.
You do realize that the longer the evidence is out there, the nearer to impossible it will be to admit it at trial? Just do what you have to do.
I'll sign off on whatever you need.
- You will? - Yes, with this understanding, if this situation is not completely resolved within 48 hours, I will expect Provenza's resignation from your division.
That is completely arbitrary! Lieutenant Provenza is an invaluable second-in-command! Who gets paid more than anyone else in PHD, except for yourself.
Can you honestly tell me that he's worth it? - Absolutely.
- Or is it possible that your misguided attachment to him is based on your fondness for him as a person? Excuse me.
The clock's ticking.
Why am I still here? For the umpteenth time, it's for your protection.
From my nutjob wife? (LAUGHING) A woman dumb enough to hire a cop to kill me? Look, as soon as we get the okay from the Chief, we're all gonna move to a motel.
And spend the night with you two idiots? No, thanks.
I have my own gun, and I know how to use it.
Flynn.
No, no, no.
Flynn, if he wants to go, let him go.
He's driving me crazy.
And, I mean, we can't hold him here, anyway.
Thank you.
And the $20,000 that you lost, if it came from me, you're paying it back! I'll send you a claim form.
And I want my shirt.
You let him walk out of here, just like that? Chief, he complained for an hour.
We couldn't lock him up.
(EXASPERATED SIGH) Where's Ms.
Serabian right now? Almost through processing, Chief.
With the husband out, do you want us to hold her? No.
Sergeant Gabriel and I will follow her.
BRENDA: Thank you.
Have we found the young man who stole Lieutenant Provenza's car? No.
But we did find his girlfriend, who paid by check at the pancake house.
Ms.
Lucy Santacruz, lives at 84th and McKinley.
Stakeout in progress.
Detective Sanchez, would you please press Ms.
Santacruz a little? Maybe we could hurry things along.
Thank you.
Chief, instead of Sanchez, maybe I should be looking for my car and then kick the asses of those punks who stole it! As much as I'd like to see you break your own record for procedural violations in a single shift, I'd prefer if you and Lieutenant Flynn found Mr.
Serabian and kept him under surveillance.
Do I need to explain how that's done? (GABRIEL SIGHS) With our luck, she's probably calling in another hit.
BRENDA: I don't know.
I don't have the slightest idea how this woman's mind works.
BRENDA: What I wouldn't give to see the egg she hatched from.
(SIGHS) Kid said his father went for a sandwich on the way to his office.
(GRUNTS) Apparently, Dad didn't want to be home when Mom got back.
- Angie still lives here? - Yeah, in the guest cottage.
The asshole lives in the main house.
Must make for some happy reunions in the driveway.
(SIGHS) - You want some? - No, thanks.
I just ate.
So, can't we prosecute Angie without the tape? I mean, I don't understand.
We all heard what she said.
I think a jury would believe the attempted-murder part, but now that Lieutenant Provenza lost the cash that Angie gave us, the murder-for-hire part goes out the window.
And maybe I should just toss him out after it.
Get rid of Lieutenant Provenza? You serious? I wish I were, Sergeant.
It would make life a whole lot easier.
Here we go.
She left her car in Bakersfield.
What do you think she's doing here? Picking up a set of keys to a loaner or something? Lieutenant, are you following us? We're looking for Alex Serabian, just like you asked.
His son said he was on his way here.
"A-L-E-X-J-A-G.
" That's his car.
- Alex Serabian is here? - PROVENZA: Yeah.
BRENDA: Oh, for heaven's sakes! (ANGIE SCREAMING) ANGIE: (SCREAMING) Help me! GABRIEL: Angie! Angie! Angie! (ANGIE SCREAMING) ANGIE: Someone shot my husband! GABRIEL: Angie! Angie! Help me! Oh, my God! Help me! Help me! - What? What's going on? - Help me! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I'm I'm rich! I'm rich! (EX CLAIMING) Oh, my God, I'm rich! (SCREAMING HYSTERICALLY) Oh, no.
(SIGHS) (PROVENZA GRUNTING) Okay.
Now we have to get serious.
BRENDA: Morning.
Any news on Lieutenant Provenza's car? The girl from the pancake house gave up her boyfriend/car thief, and Sanchez is staking out the dirtbag's apartment right now.
Okay.
And what did we hear from the medical examiner? The bullet that killed Alex Serabian was a.
32-caliber.
Went straight through his heart.
TOD was estimated around 8:45.
Roughly 15 minutes before you arrived on the scene.
Oh, for heaven's sakes.
15 minutes? Add that to the fact that we saw Angie Serabian walk in and out and didn't hear a gunshot and she tested negative for gunshot residue.
So it's virtually impossible that she murdered her husband herself.
Search of the premises turned up a wall safe, which the victim's brother opened for us.
We found Alex Serabian's passport, a small amount of cash.
No sign of a murder weapon, but the gun Serabian had registered to him was a.
32-caliber Walther.
Same caliber as the one that shot him.
So it's possible that Mr.
Serabian's gun was used against him.
Any leads on where Ms.
Serabian got her money? Nothing, but SID found a considerable amount of cash in a desk drawer in Alex Serabian's office.
- Want to guess how much? - $20,000 seems to be the magic number.
To the dollar.
(SIGHS) All right, I want to know if Ms.
Serabian hired anyone else to murder her husband.
Lieutenant Provenza, did she mention anyone else to you? - Nope.
- No.
Okay.
Where is Ms.
Serabian now? She's in Interview 2, gabbing on her cell phone.
I Mirandized her and figured it was okay for her to keep talking while Buzz recorded her.
Thank you.
Morning, everyone.
How are we doing with our attempted murder? Very well.
Very well.
Case closed.
Excellent.
And has the husband been notified? More or less.
Oh, my God.
With me.
With me.
Well? Well, we picked up one of the guys who stole your car, but he's not talking.
- Where is he? - Interview 1, sir.
Thank you, Sanchez.
Even if the evidence is never recovered, we still have witness statements from our officers.
Yeah, and there's nothing more persuasive to a jury than the statements of the officers who botched the case in the first place.
- What was that about? - What was what about? He just walked out of here with a picture of your mother.
He's awfully fond of my mother.
Hey, idiot.
Do you know me? I said, "Do you know me?" No, man.
I never seen you before.
PROVENZA: Well, then.
- Do you know who this is? - Your daughter? (ALL LAUGHING) No.
No.
This is the sweet little old lady that you brutally murdered and cut into tiny pieces.
Whoa! What are you talking about? You stole her car.
You must be the one that killed her.
I didn't kill no old lady, man.
That car was just sitting (EX CLAIMING) So, you admit it.
You admit it.
You stole the Civic.
Bitches left us in the middle of nowhere, man.
We needed to get home, but I didn't kill nobody.
Where we going? If you don't want to be under arrest for first degree murder, you're gonna take me to that car, and you better hope there's no blood in it, you little pissant! (BRENDA EX CLAIMS) (SIGHS) He is going to be the death of me! ANGIE: Yeah.
I know, Marie.
It's just terrible.
I know.
Yeah, it was all my fault.
Yeah.
Because it was my idea to get the white couch.
Yeah, I know.
It picks up everything.
Yeah.
Marie, I gotta go.
Yeah.
It's the police.
No.
They're totally clueless.
All right.
Bye-bye.
Can we get you anything, Ms.
Serabian? Something to drink? Well, champagne might be nice.
I think the celebration is a little premature, considering that you were the last person with your husband before he was discovered dead.
You followed me the whole time.
Explain how I killed Alex with you guys watching me.
I just thank God you're the worst police department in the whole world.
Ma'am, we will eventually prove that you paid someone to murder your husband.
If I really wanted to get someone to kill Alex, right, do you think I would ask George? I can't say.
But have no fear, we are aggressively looking into that.
Well, you really need to speed things up, 'cause I got a big funeral to plan.
And I'm gonna go to Canyon Ranch.
Last time you left here, things didn't go so well, so you will not be leaving here again anytime soon.
All right, well, fine.
But I really need somewhere to plug in my charger, then.
Sorry.
We're gonna be needing this.
See? Just like inside the car, no blood.
Where's the money that was in that envelope? - Gas and beer.
- Gas and beer? You didn't spend 20 grand on gas and beer.
What 20 grand? It was only a few hundred in real money.
- The rest was fake.
Check it out.
- FLYNN: Look at this! Serabian cash.
FLYNN: Little creep just might be telling the truth.
- FLYNN: These are photocopied.
Look.
- I can't believe it! She ripped me off! Who can you trust these days? Wait, wait, wait.
Flynn! Wait.
Thank God Almighty! We're back in business! (ALL CHEERING) - Now you got what you want.
Can I go? - Can you go? No, you can't go! You stole my car! Your car? What happened to the old lady? ANGIE: Did anyone ever tell you you're a big old grouch? PROVENZA: You're the first.
(ANGIE LAUGHING) But you know what? At least you're a big old sexy grouch.
Thanks.
- Come on.
They have pancakes here.
- Angie.
I just killed your husband an hour ago.
I don't want pancakes.
Really? You're gonna go on the run on an empty stomach? Come on.
I own half a car dealership now.
- I'm rich.
I'll buy point that thing at me, payaso! Can't you see I'm driving? MAN 1: Where we going, anyway, man? MAN 2: Don't worry about it.
MAN 1: Hey, bro! You're wasting the beer, man.
- MAN 1: Tripping, man.
- Bro, this car smells like my grandpa.
MAN 1: Your grandpa stinks, bro! I assume we're no longer looking at footage of the sting operation.
- Chief, should I fast-forward? - That would be a good idea.
Thank you.
Chief, sorry to interrupt.
Detective Daniels found something I think you should see.
A bill from Perma-Safe Security for installation of a wall safe? And a floor safe we knew nothing about.
(HOOTING) Oh! Yeah, boy! - ANGIE: You tell them, George.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
- Hold the applause.
I'm here all week.
- ANGIE: You lied POPE: Well, it's not a total loss.
We shouldn't have any trouble prosecuting the guys who stole Lieutenant Provenza's Civic.
Good luck wrapping this up.
And, Chief Johnson, tick-tock.
What does that mean, "tick-tock"? It's the sound of the clock running out on my career.
- Ah! - The reason I didn't mention it last night - is because I didn't know it was here.
- TAO: You can't drill through the top, and jackhammering the safe will take at least two hours.
Or we can pull it out in about five minutes by hooking a cable to a tow truck and (GRUNTS) Time is money, Mr.
Serabian.
Do I use the tow truck, or are you gonna give me the combination? I told you, I don't know it.
(SIGHS) This is gonna be fun.
(ENGINE REVVING) (CREAKING) (SHATTERING) (GASPING) Perfect! (EX CLAIMS) (CHUCKLING) (DRILLING) - BRENDA: Oh.
- Okay.
What do we have here? FLYNN: This looks like Alex Serabian's Walther.
With one bullet missing.
But good luck getting prints off of this.
I'm guessing there's $5,000 in each bundle.
And I've got the will.
The portion I highlighted is what you were interested in.
Uh, Sergeant Gabriel, where are we with Ms.
Serabian's cell phone? We checked all her calls over the last three days, and none of them seem like potential accomplices.
Chief, I read the brother his rights, and I put him in 1.
Thank you.
Thank you, Detective.
Um Sergeant Gabriel, Interview Room 1.
Meet you there.
And has anyone seen Lieutenant Provenza? Uh, Chief, the last I saw, he was in Electronics.
So, who had the combination, Chief? The killer.
(DOOR OPENS) If you think I blame myself for that asshole being dead, well, I don't.
I blame that crappy steering-wheel lock.
If that thing had worked the way it was supposed to, none of this would have happened! Lieutenant, there's no time left to consider how we got here.
Only how we get out, and if we can, how we do it with a bit of dignity.
(CHUCKLING) Oh.
It is way too late for that.
Pull it together.
For the next hour, I need the stubborn, cynical, rude, suspicious know-it-all you've always tried to be.
After that, we'll see.
(DOOR OPENS) Oh, my God.
It's about time.
I've been here all by myself forever.
I don't have any magazines.
I don't have my phone.
And I'm a widow.
Ms.
Serabian, I know how fond you are of Lieutenant Provenza here, so I imagine that you will be delighted to know that we have recovered his car and all its contents.
- Isn't that wonderful? - I don't believe you.
Well.
Believe her now? For our purposes, it doesn't matter if you gave Lieutenant Provenza $20,000 or $20.
You asked him to murder your husband, you paid him, and we have it all, clear as day, on videotape.
- Not anymore, we don't.
- Can we skip - the commentary track, please? - ANGIE: I keep telling you, - I didn't kill my husband! - I'm quite certain of that.
Then what am I still doing here? Angie, just listen to her, huh? Because, Ms.
Serabian, I have no interest in prosecuting you for attempted murder when I have an actual murder to solve.
And I think that I can find the killer if you'll only tell me how you got the combination to the safe.
Alex's brother gave it to me.
Thank you so much.
I'll be back in two shakes.
But I will leave Lieutenant Provenza here to keep you company.
Now that she's off the hook, maybe you two can patch things up.
(DOOR OPENS) (DOOR SHUTS) Oh, my, Mr.
Serabian.
You look uncomfortable.
Can we get you something? - A glass of water? - Or a sponge? Let me get to the point, Mr.
Serabian.
Because, in pursuing my investigation, I have come to a conclusion that I think you will find extremely distressing.
- You have? - I'm afraid so.
I am convinced that your sister-in-law, Angie, murdered your brother.
I know.
It's so horrible.
- Are you sure? - Absolutely.
Why? Are you surprised? No, no.
I mean, from the moment I learned that Angie was trying to kill my brother, I knew she would do it.
She's very determined.
Well, I just have a few loose threads that I need to stitch up, Mr.
Serabian.
(CHUCKLES) Please, call me Hovnan.
Thank you, Hov Hov - Hovnan.
- Hovnan.
- Hovnan.
- Havnan.
GABRIEL: Hovnan.
BRENDA: Havan? - Hovnan.
- Havana? Havnana? It's okay.
Just please call me Hank.
Everybody does.
(BRENDA CHUCKLES) So, Hank, a short while ago, we opened the safe we retrieved from your office, and guess what.
Inside, we found the gun Angie used to kill your brother.
- It was in the safe? - How about that.
Of course, that would mean Angie would have to have the combination.
And I need to find out how she got that.
I know you told us that you didn't have the combination, and it must be terribly embarrassing now to admit that you did, but we all tell little white lies from time to time.
I know I have.
- Have you, Sergeant? - Nope.
Never.
BRENDA: I just want to make sure that the right person goes to jail for Alex's murder, and knowing who all had the combination would make that immensely helpful.
Yes.
Only Alex and I had the combination, and I gave it to Angie.
BRENDA: And why, exactly, did you do that? Hank? I gave her the combination, because Angie came to me and said she needed $20,000 to make her problems go away.
And when you found out that the problem was your brother, - you must've felt terribly betrayed.
- Yes, terribly! I felt terribly betrayed! And I knew Alex would think that I gave her the money, and - Which I didn't! - No, you merely gave her the combination to the safe that contained the money, so that she could get the money herself.
Which is why, I imagine, you were so desperate to return it.
I took Alex's gun from the safe to put the money underneath, and that's when Angie walked in.
And I said, "How could you do this? "How could you take my brother's money to have someone kill him?" And she said, "You know how he treats me? Like a dog.
" And I said, "No.
He's my brother.
I love him.
"Go away.
I don't ever want to see you again!" And just then, Alex walked in.
- That must have been awkward.
- Yes.
Very, very awkward.
BRENDA: Hmm.
And he said, "How could you, my wife, and you, my brother, do this to me?" And I said, "It's not me.
It's Angie.
It's all her fault.
" And Angie grabbed the gun and said, "I should have done this myself in the first place!" Yeah! And she shot Alex.
(GASPS) And Angie said that police would suspect me, and it'd be better if we say nothing of what happened.
Oh.
- And then you walked out together.
- Yes, yes.
We walked away.
What is your problem? That's a really great story, Hank.
But I have a better one.
At 9:00 p.
m.
Last night, we saw your sister-in-law, Angie, walk by herself into Serabian Motors.
Not one minute later, she walked out, again, by herself.
There was no time for her to have retrieved the gun, shot him, and placed it back in the safe.
She could have done it very, very quickly.
We would have heard a gunshot.
No.
The only reasonable explanation is, Alex confronted you when you tried to return the money, and so you took the gun and shot him.
Isn't that what happened? You shot your own brother.
But why? Why would I do that? Angie kept talking about how she was inheriting half a car dealership, and it got me wondering, "Who gets the other half?" And according to Alex's will, that would be you.
And when she failed to knock him off, despite all your backhanded help, you took matters into your own hands and shot him yourself.
- Didn't you shoot him? - I shot him! I shot him! But I wasn't aiming at him.
Well, we're just gonna have to let the jury sort that out.
Sergeant Gabriel, would you please arrest Mr.
Serabian here, while I go check on Lieutenant Provenza? This is This is all Angie's fault.
And now what? She's gonna walk away? No, more than likely, she drives away.
In your brother's Jaguar.
PROVENZA: Maybe I wasn't completely honest with you He's like a minute from closing Shh.
You weren't exactly truthful with me, either.
What? No.
What makes you think I wasn't being truthful? (CHUCKLES) For starters, you handed me that pile of bogus money.
I mean, so much for establishing trust.
(ANGIE CHUCKLES) No.
I know.
But, you see, I was afraid that if I gave you the money, I would never see you again.
- What? - What? Yeah, and I can't tell you.
Angie.
Angie.
I know that you didn't kill Alex.
So talk to me.
Well ANGIE: I It's hard for me to say this, but I was just thinking that maybe the only reason you were interested in me is because I was paying you to kill my husband.
(ALL EX CLAIM IN RELIEF) Oh.
Angie.
Angie.
(ALL LAUGHING) That's just not true.
No, it's not true.
And there is no reason that we still can't get together.
- Really? - Really.
Really.
But since we're being honest (CHUCKLES) Angie, I have to tell you something.
I have to tell you, that by the time you're available, you may be too old for me.
(LAUGHING) What do you mean by that? Well, you just confessed to attempted murder, and you're going to prison for at least 10 years.
But But she said she wasn't interested in attempted murder.
Well, she isn't.
But I am.
(RELIEVED SIGH) (CHUCKLES) (CHUCKLES) (KNOCKING AT DOOR) Yeah? Well, congratulations, Lieutenant.
Yeah, I know.
You're thrilled.
Uh, I just dropped by to tell you that I am never going to retire.
- Ever.
- Why? Look, I'm not gonna tell you that I'm Charlie Hustle.
The only thing I chase these days are women who have had a few drinks.
Okay.
But if you want to save a couple of bucks out of our division's budget by trading my experience for a rookie I have a civil-service job, and the only way that I am going to leave the Los Angeles Police Department is if I get shot, have a heart attack, and then you run me over.
After which, I will consider a disability position.
But you really still haven't told me why.
When my first wife and I divorced, I agreed to split my pension with her from the day I retire.
I'll be damned if she gets a nickel.
That I understand.
- You do? - Mmm-hmm.
I made a distressingly similar arrangement with my first wife.
Ah.
You do realize that I may eventually be forced to put you in some crappy desk job.
Then expect me to die with a stapler in my hand.
Till death do us part.
(SIGHS) (SIGHS) English-SDH
- Yes, you do.
- No, I don't.
(ANGIE LAUGHING) Come on.
Did anyone ever tell you you're a big old grouch? You're the first.
(ANGIE CHUCKLING) At least you're a big old sexy grouch.
(LAUGHING) Come on.
Please? They have pancakes here.
Angie! I just killed your husband an hour ago.
I don't want pancakes.
ANGIE: So what? Come on.
You're gonna go on the run on an empty stomach? Look, I own half a car dealership now.
I'm rich.
I'll buy.
Buzz, are we getting all this? Well, if you're asking if I can do anything about this truck noise in the background, - I'm not a magician.
- It's not going in a festival.
I was just asking if we were recording or not.
ANGIE: Really? (SIGHS) I can't decide what's more nauseating.
Her trying to kill her husband or watching her come on to Provenza.
ANGIE: Well Chief.
We have guns.
We can stop this.
And then we just wait for proof that he's dead.
Proof? Proof? Here's his wallet.
The proof we agreed on.
Now, here.
You take the wallet.
Now, you give me the $20,000.
No.
No, I'll give you the money when the cops call me and say that they found the body.
- Lieutenant Flynn.
- Already on it, Chief.
(CELL PHONE RINGING) ANGIE: Hello? FL YNN: Yes.
Hello.
FLYNN: Is this Ms.
Anush Serabian? It's Angie Serabian.
Yeah.
Yes, this is Lieutenant Flynn of the LAPD.
Oh.
- (LAUGHING) It's a cop.
- Don't say where you are.
- Hi.
- FL YNN: Hi.
Are you sitting down, ma 'am? No, no.
Actually, I'm standing, in a parking lot in Bakersfield.
(SIGHS) Listen, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but your husband was shot in an apparent robbery, and he's dead.
(EX CLAIMS) Oh, no! (MOCK CRYING) Oh, my God! I don't believe it! Okay.
Okay.
- Now, give me the money.
- All right.
Don't be so pushy.
(CHUCKLING) Now, that's what I'm talking about, Angie.
Money is exchanged.
- And so ends another Provenza date.
- Hmm.
George, you're really gonna call me, right? Angie, baby.
I promise.
Mmm.
You have not seen the last of me.
(CHUCKLES) Mmm.
(CHUCKLING) ANGIE: Oh, George, cut it out.
Angie Serabian, you're under arrest for the attempted murder of Alex Serabian.
SANCHEZ: Hands on the car.
ANGIE: What are you talking about? DANIELS: You have the right to remain silent.
If you refuse to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Get your hands off me! Stop it! Ms.
Serabian, I'm Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson of the LAPD.
Let me tell you something.
I'm not here to kill anyone.
I'm here on a date.
You tell them, George! Thank you.
Thank you.
Hold the applause.
I'm here all week.
(LAUGHING) You lied to me! He didn't tell me he was lying, so you can't arrest me.
Ms.
Serabian, sign this waiver, or I'll be forced to leave you in Bakersfield, and it'll be at least a week until you're arraigned in LA.
- I'm not signing anything.
- PROVENZA: Angie.
- ANGIE: No! - Sign the waiver, sweetie pie.
And I tell you what.
We'll drive back together, and I'll even throw in a nice, romantic lunch.
FLYNN: You sure it's not gonna be too hot in there? And what? Melt the videotape? No.
Here.
- Hey, this is not your property! - Hey, I need the wallet.
PROVENZA: Here we go.
Oh, please.
Not with that stupid thing again.
Listen, all my evidence is in here, and I'm taking no chances.
FLYNN: Come on, let's go.
ANGIE: You know what I can tell about you? - FLYNN: What? - You hate women.
No.
Just you.
FLYNN: Come on.
ANGIE: You're pinching my arm again.
- FLYNN: Here we go.
- No sea una bitch! WOMAN: Who are you calling a bitch for? (SPEAKING SPANISH) WOMAN: Are you? MAN: Rosie, you been riding us all day, girl.
Chill out.
And now you're taking his side? Whatever, man.
Yeah, I'm gonna take his side, perra.
Get used to it.
I'm not even hungry anymore.
And I can't believe you lied to me, George.
George didn't lie to you, Angie.
I did.
- And my name isn't George.
- Well, what is it, then? Lieutenant.
You know, you need to quit laughing and judging me.
- I was in a really bad marriage.
- Hey, listen, sweetie.
Between us, we've been stuck in six bad marriages.
We just didn't choose to murder our way out.
Though I understand the urge.
I bet your wife never cut up your credit cards or made you feel like a cheap prostitute.
Or made you dance naked in front of your AA friends.
Your husband let you have credit cards? (CHUCKLES) What's gonna happen to me, George? Oh, Angie, it's not gonna be that bad.
You'll be off to Parker Center.
You'll like that.
They're gonna take your picture, they're gonna fingerprint you, and they're gonna book you.
I mean, who knows? Be a gas.
Um What's gonna happen to me after that? And then we give the surveillance tape and the 20 grand over to the DA.
Do you really think you have enough evidence to put me in jail? (CHUCKLING) Are you serious? Once the jury sees the evidence that we have in that car, you're out of here.
Am I right? - Now what did you lose? - Cell phone.
I left it in the car.
You know, you should be really worried about your friend George.
I mean, I had to tell him three times where to find my husband.
Don't worry about him.
That guy's at the top of his game.
(CHUCKLES) Look, you got to order something off the menu, because starting tomorrow, it's gonna be nothing but powdered eggs and burritos.
Do you think all the evidence was in the car? Every bit of it.
Oh, my God.
Maybe I should call the cops.
(ANGIE CHUCKLES) The real cops, right? (CHUCKLES) Oh, too bad for you, and great for me! (ANGIE LAUGHING) Am I sorry that we ruined your afternoon off? FLYNN: You betcha.
But, Chief, if I tried, I mean, I couldn't count the number of things that went right today.
Start with the things that didn't, like how you lost the evidence we need to prosecute an open-and-shut case of attempted murder! Brenda, the evidence isn't lost.
It's just out for a joyride.
I don't need sarcasm.
I need the evidence.
Don't look at me, the FBI stopped manufacturing evidence in the late '90s.
(STIFLED CHUCKLES) Chief, have we suffered a setback? Unquestionably.
But even if, God forbid, even if we never find the video or the money or my car, Angie Serabian can still be prosecuted.
FLYNN: He's right.
With a little finesse, Angie could confess.
(PROVENZA AND FLYNN CHUCKLE) You must have a little more faith than I do in the Lieutenant's charisma.
ALEX: How could you do this to me? - I don't know what - ALEX: How could you do this to me? For 25 years, I give you everything.
A house, a car, new tits.
And this is how you pay me back? - You bitch! - You're a (ALL EX CLAIMING) Commander, what is going on here? Mr.
Serabian wanted to retrieve his wallet and meet the arresting detectives.
Up till now, I had no idea about this afternoon's complications.
Is that my shirt? You give him my lucky dice shirt? Do you see the mother you have? BRENDA: Commander, please remove Mr.
Serabian and his family this instant! Wait! You, in my shirt.
How much money did she give you to kill me? $20,000.
Where did you get that kind of money, except by stealing it from me? Oh, my God.
I don't know anything about any money or Or any attempted murder, either.
Ms.
Serabian, my entire squad saw you give Lieutenant Provenza here an envelope of cash because you thought he murdered your husband.
And as soon as I know where you got that money, I'm gonna be halfway to convicting you.
HOVNAN: Ms.
Chief, perhaps if you could give my brother his wallet, we could all go home now? Uh, yeah.
Look, Mr.
Serabian, we want to thank you for giving us your wallet to assist in the arrest of your wife.
Unfortunately, it was stolen, along with all the other evidence, so you might want to cancel your credit cards and things, and - Oh, God.
- How inept are you people? You wouldn't believe this bunch.
Chief Johnson, a word.
Stay.
- Where did you get the money? - I entered your picture in an ugly contest, and you won the grand prize.
Since you cannot hold her more than 48 hours after booking, you might want to consider releasing her now and then bringing her back in when you have a chance to locate the missing evidence.
(SHOUTING) Detective Sanchez, please take Ms.
Serabian here to processing, and let me know when she's ready to be released.
And, Mr.
Serabian, you are staying right here.
(ALEX YELLS) (SINGSONG) Ha-ha.
I get to go home.
Bye, Georgie.
So, that's it? No, that's not it.
She'll probably try to kill you again.
BRENDA: The operation was entirely successful.
Murder was prevented.
However, in the aftermath, there was a small complication.
Mmm-hmm.
While buying food for the suspect, Lieutenant Provenza's car, with all the evidence, was stolen.
(LAUGHING) You're kidding, right? And because I believe that Ms.
Serabian remains capable of carrying out her murder-for-hire plans, we need to protect the husband while searching for Lieutenant Provenza's car.
You do realize that the longer the evidence is out there, the nearer to impossible it will be to admit it at trial? Just do what you have to do.
I'll sign off on whatever you need.
- You will? - Yes, with this understanding, if this situation is not completely resolved within 48 hours, I will expect Provenza's resignation from your division.
That is completely arbitrary! Lieutenant Provenza is an invaluable second-in-command! Who gets paid more than anyone else in PHD, except for yourself.
Can you honestly tell me that he's worth it? - Absolutely.
- Or is it possible that your misguided attachment to him is based on your fondness for him as a person? Excuse me.
The clock's ticking.
Why am I still here? For the umpteenth time, it's for your protection.
From my nutjob wife? (LAUGHING) A woman dumb enough to hire a cop to kill me? Look, as soon as we get the okay from the Chief, we're all gonna move to a motel.
And spend the night with you two idiots? No, thanks.
I have my own gun, and I know how to use it.
Flynn.
No, no, no.
Flynn, if he wants to go, let him go.
He's driving me crazy.
And, I mean, we can't hold him here, anyway.
Thank you.
And the $20,000 that you lost, if it came from me, you're paying it back! I'll send you a claim form.
And I want my shirt.
You let him walk out of here, just like that? Chief, he complained for an hour.
We couldn't lock him up.
(EXASPERATED SIGH) Where's Ms.
Serabian right now? Almost through processing, Chief.
With the husband out, do you want us to hold her? No.
Sergeant Gabriel and I will follow her.
BRENDA: Thank you.
Have we found the young man who stole Lieutenant Provenza's car? No.
But we did find his girlfriend, who paid by check at the pancake house.
Ms.
Lucy Santacruz, lives at 84th and McKinley.
Stakeout in progress.
Detective Sanchez, would you please press Ms.
Santacruz a little? Maybe we could hurry things along.
Thank you.
Chief, instead of Sanchez, maybe I should be looking for my car and then kick the asses of those punks who stole it! As much as I'd like to see you break your own record for procedural violations in a single shift, I'd prefer if you and Lieutenant Flynn found Mr.
Serabian and kept him under surveillance.
Do I need to explain how that's done? (GABRIEL SIGHS) With our luck, she's probably calling in another hit.
BRENDA: I don't know.
I don't have the slightest idea how this woman's mind works.
BRENDA: What I wouldn't give to see the egg she hatched from.
(SIGHS) Kid said his father went for a sandwich on the way to his office.
(GRUNTS) Apparently, Dad didn't want to be home when Mom got back.
- Angie still lives here? - Yeah, in the guest cottage.
The asshole lives in the main house.
Must make for some happy reunions in the driveway.
(SIGHS) - You want some? - No, thanks.
I just ate.
So, can't we prosecute Angie without the tape? I mean, I don't understand.
We all heard what she said.
I think a jury would believe the attempted-murder part, but now that Lieutenant Provenza lost the cash that Angie gave us, the murder-for-hire part goes out the window.
And maybe I should just toss him out after it.
Get rid of Lieutenant Provenza? You serious? I wish I were, Sergeant.
It would make life a whole lot easier.
Here we go.
She left her car in Bakersfield.
What do you think she's doing here? Picking up a set of keys to a loaner or something? Lieutenant, are you following us? We're looking for Alex Serabian, just like you asked.
His son said he was on his way here.
"A-L-E-X-J-A-G.
" That's his car.
- Alex Serabian is here? - PROVENZA: Yeah.
BRENDA: Oh, for heaven's sakes! (ANGIE SCREAMING) ANGIE: (SCREAMING) Help me! GABRIEL: Angie! Angie! Angie! (ANGIE SCREAMING) ANGIE: Someone shot my husband! GABRIEL: Angie! Angie! Help me! Oh, my God! Help me! Help me! - What? What's going on? - Help me! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I'm I'm rich! I'm rich! (EX CLAIMING) Oh, my God, I'm rich! (SCREAMING HYSTERICALLY) Oh, no.
(SIGHS) (PROVENZA GRUNTING) Okay.
Now we have to get serious.
BRENDA: Morning.
Any news on Lieutenant Provenza's car? The girl from the pancake house gave up her boyfriend/car thief, and Sanchez is staking out the dirtbag's apartment right now.
Okay.
And what did we hear from the medical examiner? The bullet that killed Alex Serabian was a.
32-caliber.
Went straight through his heart.
TOD was estimated around 8:45.
Roughly 15 minutes before you arrived on the scene.
Oh, for heaven's sakes.
15 minutes? Add that to the fact that we saw Angie Serabian walk in and out and didn't hear a gunshot and she tested negative for gunshot residue.
So it's virtually impossible that she murdered her husband herself.
Search of the premises turned up a wall safe, which the victim's brother opened for us.
We found Alex Serabian's passport, a small amount of cash.
No sign of a murder weapon, but the gun Serabian had registered to him was a.
32-caliber Walther.
Same caliber as the one that shot him.
So it's possible that Mr.
Serabian's gun was used against him.
Any leads on where Ms.
Serabian got her money? Nothing, but SID found a considerable amount of cash in a desk drawer in Alex Serabian's office.
- Want to guess how much? - $20,000 seems to be the magic number.
To the dollar.
(SIGHS) All right, I want to know if Ms.
Serabian hired anyone else to murder her husband.
Lieutenant Provenza, did she mention anyone else to you? - Nope.
- No.
Okay.
Where is Ms.
Serabian now? She's in Interview 2, gabbing on her cell phone.
I Mirandized her and figured it was okay for her to keep talking while Buzz recorded her.
Thank you.
Morning, everyone.
How are we doing with our attempted murder? Very well.
Very well.
Case closed.
Excellent.
And has the husband been notified? More or less.
Oh, my God.
With me.
With me.
Well? Well, we picked up one of the guys who stole your car, but he's not talking.
- Where is he? - Interview 1, sir.
Thank you, Sanchez.
Even if the evidence is never recovered, we still have witness statements from our officers.
Yeah, and there's nothing more persuasive to a jury than the statements of the officers who botched the case in the first place.
- What was that about? - What was what about? He just walked out of here with a picture of your mother.
He's awfully fond of my mother.
Hey, idiot.
Do you know me? I said, "Do you know me?" No, man.
I never seen you before.
PROVENZA: Well, then.
- Do you know who this is? - Your daughter? (ALL LAUGHING) No.
No.
This is the sweet little old lady that you brutally murdered and cut into tiny pieces.
Whoa! What are you talking about? You stole her car.
You must be the one that killed her.
I didn't kill no old lady, man.
That car was just sitting (EX CLAIMING) So, you admit it.
You admit it.
You stole the Civic.
Bitches left us in the middle of nowhere, man.
We needed to get home, but I didn't kill nobody.
Where we going? If you don't want to be under arrest for first degree murder, you're gonna take me to that car, and you better hope there's no blood in it, you little pissant! (BRENDA EX CLAIMS) (SIGHS) He is going to be the death of me! ANGIE: Yeah.
I know, Marie.
It's just terrible.
I know.
Yeah, it was all my fault.
Yeah.
Because it was my idea to get the white couch.
Yeah, I know.
It picks up everything.
Yeah.
Marie, I gotta go.
Yeah.
It's the police.
No.
They're totally clueless.
All right.
Bye-bye.
Can we get you anything, Ms.
Serabian? Something to drink? Well, champagne might be nice.
I think the celebration is a little premature, considering that you were the last person with your husband before he was discovered dead.
You followed me the whole time.
Explain how I killed Alex with you guys watching me.
I just thank God you're the worst police department in the whole world.
Ma'am, we will eventually prove that you paid someone to murder your husband.
If I really wanted to get someone to kill Alex, right, do you think I would ask George? I can't say.
But have no fear, we are aggressively looking into that.
Well, you really need to speed things up, 'cause I got a big funeral to plan.
And I'm gonna go to Canyon Ranch.
Last time you left here, things didn't go so well, so you will not be leaving here again anytime soon.
All right, well, fine.
But I really need somewhere to plug in my charger, then.
Sorry.
We're gonna be needing this.
See? Just like inside the car, no blood.
Where's the money that was in that envelope? - Gas and beer.
- Gas and beer? You didn't spend 20 grand on gas and beer.
What 20 grand? It was only a few hundred in real money.
- The rest was fake.
Check it out.
- FLYNN: Look at this! Serabian cash.
FLYNN: Little creep just might be telling the truth.
- FLYNN: These are photocopied.
Look.
- I can't believe it! She ripped me off! Who can you trust these days? Wait, wait, wait.
Flynn! Wait.
Thank God Almighty! We're back in business! (ALL CHEERING) - Now you got what you want.
Can I go? - Can you go? No, you can't go! You stole my car! Your car? What happened to the old lady? ANGIE: Did anyone ever tell you you're a big old grouch? PROVENZA: You're the first.
(ANGIE LAUGHING) But you know what? At least you're a big old sexy grouch.
Thanks.
- Come on.
They have pancakes here.
- Angie.
I just killed your husband an hour ago.
I don't want pancakes.
Really? You're gonna go on the run on an empty stomach? Come on.
I own half a car dealership now.
- I'm rich.
I'll buy point that thing at me, payaso! Can't you see I'm driving? MAN 1: Where we going, anyway, man? MAN 2: Don't worry about it.
MAN 1: Hey, bro! You're wasting the beer, man.
- MAN 1: Tripping, man.
- Bro, this car smells like my grandpa.
MAN 1: Your grandpa stinks, bro! I assume we're no longer looking at footage of the sting operation.
- Chief, should I fast-forward? - That would be a good idea.
Thank you.
Chief, sorry to interrupt.
Detective Daniels found something I think you should see.
A bill from Perma-Safe Security for installation of a wall safe? And a floor safe we knew nothing about.
(HOOTING) Oh! Yeah, boy! - ANGIE: You tell them, George.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
- Hold the applause.
I'm here all week.
- ANGIE: You lied POPE: Well, it's not a total loss.
We shouldn't have any trouble prosecuting the guys who stole Lieutenant Provenza's Civic.
Good luck wrapping this up.
And, Chief Johnson, tick-tock.
What does that mean, "tick-tock"? It's the sound of the clock running out on my career.
- Ah! - The reason I didn't mention it last night - is because I didn't know it was here.
- TAO: You can't drill through the top, and jackhammering the safe will take at least two hours.
Or we can pull it out in about five minutes by hooking a cable to a tow truck and (GRUNTS) Time is money, Mr.
Serabian.
Do I use the tow truck, or are you gonna give me the combination? I told you, I don't know it.
(SIGHS) This is gonna be fun.
(ENGINE REVVING) (CREAKING) (SHATTERING) (GASPING) Perfect! (EX CLAIMS) (CHUCKLING) (DRILLING) - BRENDA: Oh.
- Okay.
What do we have here? FLYNN: This looks like Alex Serabian's Walther.
With one bullet missing.
But good luck getting prints off of this.
I'm guessing there's $5,000 in each bundle.
And I've got the will.
The portion I highlighted is what you were interested in.
Uh, Sergeant Gabriel, where are we with Ms.
Serabian's cell phone? We checked all her calls over the last three days, and none of them seem like potential accomplices.
Chief, I read the brother his rights, and I put him in 1.
Thank you.
Thank you, Detective.
Um Sergeant Gabriel, Interview Room 1.
Meet you there.
And has anyone seen Lieutenant Provenza? Uh, Chief, the last I saw, he was in Electronics.
So, who had the combination, Chief? The killer.
(DOOR OPENS) If you think I blame myself for that asshole being dead, well, I don't.
I blame that crappy steering-wheel lock.
If that thing had worked the way it was supposed to, none of this would have happened! Lieutenant, there's no time left to consider how we got here.
Only how we get out, and if we can, how we do it with a bit of dignity.
(CHUCKLING) Oh.
It is way too late for that.
Pull it together.
For the next hour, I need the stubborn, cynical, rude, suspicious know-it-all you've always tried to be.
After that, we'll see.
(DOOR OPENS) Oh, my God.
It's about time.
I've been here all by myself forever.
I don't have any magazines.
I don't have my phone.
And I'm a widow.
Ms.
Serabian, I know how fond you are of Lieutenant Provenza here, so I imagine that you will be delighted to know that we have recovered his car and all its contents.
- Isn't that wonderful? - I don't believe you.
Well.
Believe her now? For our purposes, it doesn't matter if you gave Lieutenant Provenza $20,000 or $20.
You asked him to murder your husband, you paid him, and we have it all, clear as day, on videotape.
- Not anymore, we don't.
- Can we skip - the commentary track, please? - ANGIE: I keep telling you, - I didn't kill my husband! - I'm quite certain of that.
Then what am I still doing here? Angie, just listen to her, huh? Because, Ms.
Serabian, I have no interest in prosecuting you for attempted murder when I have an actual murder to solve.
And I think that I can find the killer if you'll only tell me how you got the combination to the safe.
Alex's brother gave it to me.
Thank you so much.
I'll be back in two shakes.
But I will leave Lieutenant Provenza here to keep you company.
Now that she's off the hook, maybe you two can patch things up.
(DOOR OPENS) (DOOR SHUTS) Oh, my, Mr.
Serabian.
You look uncomfortable.
Can we get you something? - A glass of water? - Or a sponge? Let me get to the point, Mr.
Serabian.
Because, in pursuing my investigation, I have come to a conclusion that I think you will find extremely distressing.
- You have? - I'm afraid so.
I am convinced that your sister-in-law, Angie, murdered your brother.
I know.
It's so horrible.
- Are you sure? - Absolutely.
Why? Are you surprised? No, no.
I mean, from the moment I learned that Angie was trying to kill my brother, I knew she would do it.
She's very determined.
Well, I just have a few loose threads that I need to stitch up, Mr.
Serabian.
(CHUCKLES) Please, call me Hovnan.
Thank you, Hov Hov - Hovnan.
- Hovnan.
- Hovnan.
- Havnan.
GABRIEL: Hovnan.
BRENDA: Havan? - Hovnan.
- Havana? Havnana? It's okay.
Just please call me Hank.
Everybody does.
(BRENDA CHUCKLES) So, Hank, a short while ago, we opened the safe we retrieved from your office, and guess what.
Inside, we found the gun Angie used to kill your brother.
- It was in the safe? - How about that.
Of course, that would mean Angie would have to have the combination.
And I need to find out how she got that.
I know you told us that you didn't have the combination, and it must be terribly embarrassing now to admit that you did, but we all tell little white lies from time to time.
I know I have.
- Have you, Sergeant? - Nope.
Never.
BRENDA: I just want to make sure that the right person goes to jail for Alex's murder, and knowing who all had the combination would make that immensely helpful.
Yes.
Only Alex and I had the combination, and I gave it to Angie.
BRENDA: And why, exactly, did you do that? Hank? I gave her the combination, because Angie came to me and said she needed $20,000 to make her problems go away.
And when you found out that the problem was your brother, - you must've felt terribly betrayed.
- Yes, terribly! I felt terribly betrayed! And I knew Alex would think that I gave her the money, and - Which I didn't! - No, you merely gave her the combination to the safe that contained the money, so that she could get the money herself.
Which is why, I imagine, you were so desperate to return it.
I took Alex's gun from the safe to put the money underneath, and that's when Angie walked in.
And I said, "How could you do this? "How could you take my brother's money to have someone kill him?" And she said, "You know how he treats me? Like a dog.
" And I said, "No.
He's my brother.
I love him.
"Go away.
I don't ever want to see you again!" And just then, Alex walked in.
- That must have been awkward.
- Yes.
Very, very awkward.
BRENDA: Hmm.
And he said, "How could you, my wife, and you, my brother, do this to me?" And I said, "It's not me.
It's Angie.
It's all her fault.
" And Angie grabbed the gun and said, "I should have done this myself in the first place!" Yeah! And she shot Alex.
(GASPS) And Angie said that police would suspect me, and it'd be better if we say nothing of what happened.
Oh.
- And then you walked out together.
- Yes, yes.
We walked away.
What is your problem? That's a really great story, Hank.
But I have a better one.
At 9:00 p.
m.
Last night, we saw your sister-in-law, Angie, walk by herself into Serabian Motors.
Not one minute later, she walked out, again, by herself.
There was no time for her to have retrieved the gun, shot him, and placed it back in the safe.
She could have done it very, very quickly.
We would have heard a gunshot.
No.
The only reasonable explanation is, Alex confronted you when you tried to return the money, and so you took the gun and shot him.
Isn't that what happened? You shot your own brother.
But why? Why would I do that? Angie kept talking about how she was inheriting half a car dealership, and it got me wondering, "Who gets the other half?" And according to Alex's will, that would be you.
And when she failed to knock him off, despite all your backhanded help, you took matters into your own hands and shot him yourself.
- Didn't you shoot him? - I shot him! I shot him! But I wasn't aiming at him.
Well, we're just gonna have to let the jury sort that out.
Sergeant Gabriel, would you please arrest Mr.
Serabian here, while I go check on Lieutenant Provenza? This is This is all Angie's fault.
And now what? She's gonna walk away? No, more than likely, she drives away.
In your brother's Jaguar.
PROVENZA: Maybe I wasn't completely honest with you He's like a minute from closing Shh.
You weren't exactly truthful with me, either.
What? No.
What makes you think I wasn't being truthful? (CHUCKLES) For starters, you handed me that pile of bogus money.
I mean, so much for establishing trust.
(ANGIE CHUCKLES) No.
I know.
But, you see, I was afraid that if I gave you the money, I would never see you again.
- What? - What? Yeah, and I can't tell you.
Angie.
Angie.
I know that you didn't kill Alex.
So talk to me.
Well ANGIE: I It's hard for me to say this, but I was just thinking that maybe the only reason you were interested in me is because I was paying you to kill my husband.
(ALL EX CLAIM IN RELIEF) Oh.
Angie.
Angie.
(ALL LAUGHING) That's just not true.
No, it's not true.
And there is no reason that we still can't get together.
- Really? - Really.
Really.
But since we're being honest (CHUCKLES) Angie, I have to tell you something.
I have to tell you, that by the time you're available, you may be too old for me.
(LAUGHING) What do you mean by that? Well, you just confessed to attempted murder, and you're going to prison for at least 10 years.
But But she said she wasn't interested in attempted murder.
Well, she isn't.
But I am.
(RELIEVED SIGH) (CHUCKLES) (CHUCKLES) (KNOCKING AT DOOR) Yeah? Well, congratulations, Lieutenant.
Yeah, I know.
You're thrilled.
Uh, I just dropped by to tell you that I am never going to retire.
- Ever.
- Why? Look, I'm not gonna tell you that I'm Charlie Hustle.
The only thing I chase these days are women who have had a few drinks.
Okay.
But if you want to save a couple of bucks out of our division's budget by trading my experience for a rookie I have a civil-service job, and the only way that I am going to leave the Los Angeles Police Department is if I get shot, have a heart attack, and then you run me over.
After which, I will consider a disability position.
But you really still haven't told me why.
When my first wife and I divorced, I agreed to split my pension with her from the day I retire.
I'll be damned if she gets a nickel.
That I understand.
- You do? - Mmm-hmm.
I made a distressingly similar arrangement with my first wife.
Ah.
You do realize that I may eventually be forced to put you in some crappy desk job.
Then expect me to die with a stapler in my hand.
Till death do us part.
(SIGHS) (SIGHS) English-SDH