Baskets (2016) s04e06 Episode Script

1 MRS.
BASKETS: The new CEO of Baskets Rodeo.
- [CLAPPING.]
- Thanks, everybody.
I appreciate that.
- Hey, how did you kids get in here? - Shut up, old man.
- Excuse me? - DALE: The only lesson that these kids understand is a cinder block to the face.
- Hey - Hear, hear.
Cheers.
You guys are partying with minors.
That is a Class A felony.
You really think I'm a good CEO? - Sure, you're a great CEO.
- Thanks, Dale.
[HIGH-PITCHED HUM, HEARTBEAT POUNDING.]
NURSE [DISTANT, ECHOING.]
: Now just move your eyes slowly, left to right.
Anything out of the ordinary? Any distortions? Swirling sensations? Sir, just keep moving your eyes, please.
Mm, who is that over there? Oh, that's our clown.
Okay.
I don't see any reason why you can't go home, I just wouldn't drive for a couple days.
Well, I don't drive.
What's with this clown? Yeah? Is he a doctor? - No.
- He's not much of a clown, either.
NURSE: Well, grief clowning is a special skill.
I mean, he's got a certificate.
A certificate doesn't mean anything when you're in the clowning business.
[QUIETLY.]
: Watch this.
[MAKES BIRD NOISES.]
- Oh! Thanks! - Yeah, no problem.
Maybe I can come by and give him some pointers, or maybe volunteer here, I don't know.
Oh, it's a paying job.
- Paying job? - Yeah.
I used to clown professionally, but I'm a CEO now.
What-what are you doing? Oh, I was just looking for my business card.
Oh, uh, well, you're wearing a hospital gown.
That is true.
Yeah.
Probably not in there.
Yeah.
All righty, then.
[PHONE RINGING.]
Oh, hi, Chip.
How are you? Uh, listen.
Can you come pick me up at the hospital, please? Oh.
Well, you know, honey, I'm in Denver.
I got a carpet emergency.
Oh, gosh, I forgot that you were in Denver.
I probably forgot 'cause I got hit in the head.
Oh, okay.
Well, feel better.
Uh, well, don't forget to feed the cats, honey.
Okay.
- Mom? - Sorry, Chip.
Got to go.
- Mom! - [PHONE BEEPS.]
[SIGHS.]
I'm down here.
The urn that is included with the cremation is a hard plastic shell.
But if you'd like your father to reside in something - a little more gracious - Um, that's okay.
You're sure? My dad loved plastic.
But how's that gonna look? Oh, I'm probably just gonna keep it in the closet.
That's fine.
What are your plans for the service? I haven't made any plans yet.
This was pretty sudden.
My dad fell off the roof trying to fix the TV antenna.
And, unfortunately, he fell before he could finish the job, - so it's still broken.
- Oh.
Now I can't leave my mom home alone, or she'll go up on the roof to try to fix the antenna.
I got it.
I got it.
Okay, well, um, I left my mom at Costco temporarily, but I should really get back to her as soon as possible.
- Let's just finish this.
- Okay.
- [PHONE RINGING.]
- Oh, it's Chip.
- Hello? - Hey, Martha, listen, I need you to, - uh - I'll do it.
But you don't know what I'm asking you to do.
- [PHONE BEEPS OFF.]
- Sir, I've got to go.
I'll come back for my dad.
Do you miss my clowning? Do I miss your clowning? Yeah, it's a legitimate question.
Um, not yet, I guess.
'Cause I do.
Hmm.
You know, I've been listening to, to those success tapes.
The ones Tammy gave you? Well, let's not get mixed up in the personalities, Martha.
But let's just say the system works.
It-it, it does.
- Okay.
- I do miss clowning.
Something reminded me of that today.
Something? Yeah, something, Martha, yeah.
I just I don't know, I saw this clown, and I thought maybe I should return to clowning, you know? As-as a hobby.
Just-just do it for the joy of it.
Okay.
You need to take a left right here.
Um, we have to stop at Costco first.
I ain't going to no Costco, Martha.
- MARTHA: Well, my mom's here.
- [CHIP SIGHS LOUDLY.]
CHIP: Do you have a life outside of Costco? MARTHA: Sometimes I go to Sam's Club.
Mom.
I can eat ham.
No one said you couldn't.
- Would you like a sample? - Oh, hey, Lorenzo.
- No, thank you.
- I-I'll take some.
I just got out of the hospital.
Thank you.
Okay, Mom, let's get you home.
Okeydokey.
See you tomorrow.
MARTHA: Well, we'll see about that.
Since my husband died, my daughter won't let me stay home alone.
Martha, your Your dad died? You didn't tell me.
Well Oh, God, uh You okay? Do Is this I should hug you.
I'm gonna hug you, okay? I'm going in for a hug, here - Okay.
Well, ow, my cast.
- Okay, sorry.
It just happened, Chip.
We don't even know where we're gonna have the services.
[EXHALES.]
God You're sad.
You must be sad.
I'm sorry.
Uh, uh, I'm so sorry.
All right, well, let me help.
I-I, I can, uh, let me host it.
I could, I could host it.
Okay In your condo? In my con No, but there's a there's a common room in my condo.
It's a great space.
We could d we could have it there.
You think you could score it for the wake? Yeah.
Yeah-yeah, absolutely.
- No problem.
- Okay.
All right.
Okay, Mom, let's go.
Chip's gonna host the wake.
Whoopie-do! [GIGGLES.]
See you tomorrow.
Well, we'll see about that, okay? Can I get, uh, seven of those to go? Yeah, come in.
You can come in.
Hi.
I'm, uh, I'm Chip Baskets.
I'm a condo I'm a condo owner.
And I'm Anita in Operations.
Uh I wanted to-to talk to you, or to anybody about reserving the, uh, common room.
Um, yeah.
Okay.
You'd have to talk to David.
David? 'Cause everything really runs through David.
Oh, yeah, that's what they Yeah, is he, is he on the premises? He is around, but he's in and out.
And he's on the premises of other premiseses in California.
Um, so he just had a baby.
- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
Well, luckily, you'rehere.
- Well, I can't do anything.
- So [CHUCKLES.]
'Cause I'm in sales.
But could I put a request in through you? Sure.
I will put in a request with David.
- That sounds like a good plan.
- Right? Thank you very much.
Great.
If, uh, you need me, I'll be in my unit.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
CHIP: Okay, you guys are fed, I changed your litter box, I gave you water.
I think I'm gonna be on my way.
- Mom! - Chip! - What are you doing here? - What happened to your neck? What do you mean? I called you from the hospital.
Well, I didn't know it was so serious, honey.
Well, I'm-I'm totally fine.
Oh, hi, kitties.
What are, what are you doing here? I thought there was a carpet emergency.
Well, Martha's father died, honey.
- I came right home.
- Yeah, I know, it's sad.
Terrible.
Honey, never let me go on the roof in my 90s, okay? - What are you doing? - I'm making a casserole for Martha's family.
You know, when someone dies, people get hungry.
Well, I told Martha that I would, uh, you know, try to throw a wake for her.
Oh, well, that's really nice, honey.
What are you planning? You know, and I was thinking about maybe I don't know, dipping my toe back into clowning and doing something, you know, there.
At a funeral? Yeah, grief clowning.
It's a - It's a specialty.
It's - Oh.
You know, it makes people feel better.
But I thought you were happy being a CEO, honey.
I am, I am, I am.
I just, you know, It's a performance itch, and maybe I just want to scratch that itch at the funeral.
Well, I guess I'd talk to Daniel if I was you because he's always planning all these memorials at the church.
He'll tell you if being a clown at a wake is crazy or not.
It's not crazy, Mom.
Well I'll talk to him.
- You need some onions? - Don't I.
[BIRDS SINGING, DOG BARKING.]
When are we going to your work? I'm taking a bereavement day.
If you're trying to get between me and the sample ham man, forget it.
I like him.
You don't even know his name.
Lorenzo.
- Okay, you're right.
- [DOORBELL RINGS, KNOCKING AT DOOR.]
Why do people keep showing up? My husband died.
Oh.
Martha, I'm so sorry for your loss.
- Thanks.
- I brought you a casserole.
Thanks, I'll put it in the fridge.
And don't worry about the pan, get it back to me whenever you can.
It doesn't match my other ones anyways.
It's a Le Creuset, though.
[GASPS.]
- Hi.
- There you are.
- Darling, how are you? - Oh, not so good.
So sorry.
I can't stand being in this house anymore.
All the memories, honey? - No TV.
- No TV.
Well, let's sit and chat, you know? MARTHA: Don't sit there, that's my dad's paperwork.
Oh! Oh, geez, I'm sorry, Martha.
- Sorry.
- Thanks, Mrs.
Baskets.
I appre Mom, stop.
- Do not go on the roof.
- What is she doing on the roof? She's trying to fix the TV.
Mom.
[SIGHS.]
I'll take you to Costco.
MRS.
BASKETS: Costco? Always a good fix when you're not feeling good.
Here we go.
Hey, Reverend Kwon? Oh, hey, Chip.
Hey, uh, do you have a minute? Yeah.
Um, I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry about the other night with those kids.
I wasn't thinking, and that's I'm sorry.
You coming here and saying that Jesus teaches us to forgive.
That's all you had to do.
Who's Jesus? Oh, oh, yeah, the guy from the Yeah, the Bible guy.
Yeah.
Um, hey, listen [STAMMERS.]
I wanted to ask your advice.
I have to, uh, perform a eulogy - Cool.
- at Yeah, it is cool.
And, uh, my mom says you're the master at it.
I mean, she may be a little biased.
She's kind of a fan, but I think she has a crush on you, actually.
[LAUGHING.]
: Oh, come on, Chip.
So I-I kind of came to ask your advice.
I have this eulogy and I wanted to bring what I call my grief clowning to the, to the wake.
Well, I always try to remember that it's not about me, right? It-It's about the mourned and-and the mourners.
Yeah.
But I have managed to get some enormous laughs over the years.
- Hm.
- Is it open casket? No, I don't think so, no, no, no.
Yeah, gives you some leeway.
Maybe you could come to the service and check it out and - see what you think about it.
- Oh! Sure.
Yeah? Would you do that? Yeah, you know what, y-y-yes, I will.
I-I-I will be there.
You know where the Bullet Train Apartments are? - Yes.
- They're on Federalsburg Street.
- Yeah, okay.
Okay.
- Okay.
All right, thanks, Kwon.
Reverend Kwon.
You got the bath and the closet Sorry.
Have you talked to David yet? Um, not yet.
They're not trying to get the common room, are they? No, but if you did want to, you do need to go through David.
Okay, you know what, why don't we assume that David's gonna grant me - the common room - I'm so sorry.
and then you can tentatively slot me in until maybe David vetoes it.
Hey, Martha, I wanted to let you know we have the common room.
We have the common room.
Oh, um, I didn't realize that we ever hadn't had it.
We didn't didn't have it.
We But I'm-I'm just saying we have it for sure, it's carved in stone.
Um, okay, thanks, Chip.
Yes, exciting.
It's beautiful.
Lot of square footage, uh, lights, everything you need, couches.
I fell in love with clowning as a child, and, uh, actually, was formally trained in-in-in France.
I don't have any specific grief clowning training, but I have a ton of experience with grief - in my own personal life.
- Mm.
I'm actually performing at a wake this weekend if you'd like to see me showcase my talents.
Uh, there'll be a lot of grieving there.
I mean, I'm-I'm-I'm hoping.
Um, we'll send a scout.
Perfect.
- [MACHINE WHIRRING.]
- Excuse me, we're setting up for a memorial service here.
Are you friends of the deceased? - What is with the hot choc - Chip.
You really pulled it off.
- Thanks, Mom.
- Hey, Martha.
- Hi, Mrs.
Baskets.
- [QUIETLY.]
: Hey, Mrs.
Brooks.
Hey, any news on my dish? You mean the pale blue one? - La Creuset.
- I thought you said it was no hurry getting it back to you.
Well, no hurry doesn't mean we lose our minds, Martha.
Chip, talk to her.
All right, no [EXHALES.]
Yeah, I will.
All right.
And then I gotta go upstairs and change clothes.
[WHISPERS.]
: I don't care about the dish.
How are you, Martha? - I'm all right.
- [KIDS LAUGHING.]
Being an executrix is a lot more complicated than I thought it would be.
- [MACHINE WHIRRING.]
- [KIDS LAUGHING.]
Can you hold on one second, Martha? Can you guys quiet down, please? You were saying? And my mom is mad at me 'cause I wouldn't let her invite the Hormel ham sample guy.
Martha, you got to stop cockblocking your mom.
She's grieving.
And I don't know if this is the best time for you to be going over your dad's paperwork.
Do you think I'm doing it to avoid facing my feelings? I don't know.
Is that possible? Sounds like a good idea.
Hey, listen, I wanted you to know that I'm, uh, I'm gonna swing for the fences.
What fence? That's just an expression.
Here.
At the-the memorial.
I'm gonna I'm gonna turn up the clowning, if that's okay with you.
Yeah, of course.
Okay.
Thank you for your faith, Martha.
[QUIETLY.]
: No-no-no-no-no.
That's Anita.
I'm gonna handle this.
Anita! Look what you did! And all without David.
A glimpse at what's possible.
My fingerprints cannot be anywhere near this.
- Okay? - Okay.
And we just have to keep this room open, because this is the common area.
The kids need to be able to come in and out for the hot chocolate.
'Cause if David finds out that I, that I okayed this - without his approval - Yeah I am no-no-no You don't I'm dead.
Oh.
No-no, I-I, I understand.
Um, but can I, can I introduce you to the widow first? Mrs.
Brooks.
- There's somebody I want to - What? want you to meet.
Come here.
Yeah, just explain that to the widow, please? Explain who to what? - I g I don't know - What you What you just said to me, you just explain - Miss Brooks? - What? Uh, I just wanted to let you know that they're During the-the service, uh, and Anita will be able to tell you better, but during the service there are gonna be some small little tykes - getting some hot chocolate.
- What? - My husband died.
- ANITA: I know.
How much hot chocolate are you guys gonna need? - MRS.
BROOKS: What? - CHIP: Nothing.
Nothing, Mrs.
Brooks.
Okay, so try to keep it under an hour, and I will try to keep them out.
Okay.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
[MACHINE WHIRRING.]
Hi, everybody.
Um I think we should just get started.
Uh, we're gonna lose this room in less than an hour, so we should get started, yeah.
Okay, uh, so, um, Mr.
Brooks, uh, died accidentally while fixing the TV antenna.
It's still not fixed.
MRS.
BASKETS: They still have an antenna? Why don't we take up a collection for cable? I don't think we have time for that.
Uh MRS.
BASKETS: No? Okay.
Yeah, sure.
Uh, here, well um hold on a moment.
- Here, just pass this around.
- MRS.
BASKETS: Yeah.
Here, we'll put it right over here.
But as I was saying, Mr.
Brooks died accidentally, but some say heroically.
Falling off the roof.
Which reminds me of a punch line of a joke, and the punch line is, "Grandpa is on the roof.
" And then, uh, the set-up for it goes like Okay, there was a cat on a There was a cat on the roof Yeah, okay, so Oh, yeah.
- So there-there's a, um - Move over, Martha.
Martha, did you, uh, did you want to say something? Not right now.
Okay.
Uh, so, uh, I think the Oh.
I'm sorry, I tried to keep them out, but they're kids.
By the way, if the scout is here, whoever you are, I'm sorry, but [MACHINE WHIRRING.]
Uh, so, so sorry about this.
Okay, kids, uh Hold on.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hey, guys.
Who wants to do the conga? [CLAPS HANDS.]
Who wants to do the conga? Put your hands on my hips, right here.
- Okay.
- Okay, here we go, doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo.
Uh, doo-doo-doo-doo, [PLAYS KAZOO.]
: doo-doo.
- Doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo.
- A congo.
- [CONTINUES PLAYING KAZOO.]
- [CHUCKLING.]
- MARTHA: Lorenzo no.
- MRS.
BROOKS: Ooh.
- Mom - It's okay.
It's too early for you to be flirting with him.
All right.
I'll fix the TV.
We got you money for cable.
Ugh.
Mrs.
Baskets.
I can't give you your dish back.
I can't wash it.
You burned the casserole - to the bottom of the dish.
- Oh, well.
Well [WHISPERS.]
: don't worry about it, Martha.
CHIP: Okay, uh [STAMMERS.]
Hurry this along.
Um Don't-don't come back here.
- [CHILDREN VOCALIZING.]
- MRS.
BASKETS: They're back.
[PLAYING ALONG ON KAZOO.]
CHIP: They're a little hyped up on hot chocolate, I think.
- [SCATTERED LAUGHTER.]
- Okay, guys, thank you.
- [APPLAUSE.]
- Oh.
They like it.
They like it.
Bow, bow, bow.
Okay, uh, and then just maybe right back out.
Here we go.
There we go, gang.
[CHIP AND KIDS VOCALIZING.]
- [PLAYING ALONG ON KAZOO.]
- ANITA: Oh, David? Hi.
Yeah, I've been trying to call you over and over, but you were signed out.
- Is that David? - ANITA: Did you get the Oh, yeah, you can you can use the room.
- We have the room? - For how long? Three three hours if you want.
- MRS.
BASKETS: Oh! - We have the room! - We have three more hours.
Okay.
- MRS.
BASKETS: The room! - We have the room.
- [SIGHS.]
What a relief.
Now we can respect Mr.
Brooks the way he should be.
MRS.
BASKETS: We raised $63.
Great meeting y'all.
Take care.
That was a big success, don't you think? - It was - Oh, I thought Chip was so terrific.
It was very cool and unusual and interesting.
You liked it? I love the kids' conga.
Yeah.
I mean, when you work with kids, you never know.
You know, lot of wild card situations there, but, uh Yeah, it all worked out.
- I laughed.
I never laugh.
- I've seen you laugh.
Maybe I'm not aware of it.
Chip, you're CEO but maybe this is, you know you.
Thank you.
DANIEL: Well, anyway, got to run.
God bless.
Thank you.
Thank you for letting me be part of this.
- See you in church.
- Okay.
[MRS.
BASKETS CHUCKLES.]
Mom, you want some hot chocolate? - It's really good.
- Oh, yes.
Are there any tiny marshmallows? Yeah.
How many you need? Oh, you know, just fill it up, honey.
BOY: He started slow but sort of warmed up a bit.
He got some scattered laughter.
His makeup needed a little work, but his costume was decent.
I'd be inclined to move him to the next round.
Okay.
Thanks for helping.
Ooh, candy.
Yay.