Bob Hearts Abishola (2019) s04e06 Episode Script

Two Rusty Tractors

1
Previously on Bob Hearts Abishola
How would you feel about
sitting in that chair?
- That is your chair.
- No.
That chair belongs to the
president of the company.
I'm gonna be CEO.
What is the difference?
Well, the president does all the work,
and the CEO drops by every now and then
to criticize that work.
So, you would be like my mother?
Don't make it weird.
Christina, what do you want?
A chance at redemption,
rebirth.
Kofo, Goodwin,
you guys came to this country
for a chance.
It's the central promise of this nation.
I pledge allegiance to the flag
All right, pipe down, Betsy Ross.
What do you think?
We do need a new janitor.
(SCOFFS)
I move we make Christina
the warehouse janitor.
Ooh, I second it!
- All in favor.
- ALL: Aye.
- N-No, no, no, no aye. No aye.
- Meeting adjourned.
Morning.
Good morning, my love.
What are your plans for today?
As it happens,
I'm taking myself to the dollar theater
- to see a John Wayne double feature.
- Mm.
Have fun with The Duke.
I didn't know you knew John Wayne.
In Nigeria,
we know all of your celebrities.
You know, when I was young,
I used to think
your president was Elvis.
(PHONE RINGS)
Malaysia.
Hey, Wati, what's going on?
Aw, man. I'm sorry.
That time of year, huh?
Oh, that reminds me,
I got to clean out the gutters.
How bad is it?
Well, why are you wasting time
talking to me? Call Goodwin.
He's MaxDot president now.
He handles this kind of thing.
But he's going to yell at me.
I used to yell at you all the time.
You ought to see me now.
I never yell. In fact, these days
I can't stop smiling.
That sounds irritating.
I never made bad jokes.
Well, maybe it's time for you to take
a little off your plate, too.
Okay, nice talking with you, Wati.
Is there a problem at work?
Yeah,
we're a sock company with no socks.
What are you going to do?
Well, I reckon
I'm going to see John Wayne.
- Ma'am.
- (GIGGLES SOFTLY)
(SIGHS)
("IFANLA" BY SOLA AKINGBOLA PLAYING)
I have an extra Jell-O.
The poor man in 203 died
before he could enjoy it.
Oh, strawberry.
I'm already over today.
Had a five-catheter morning.
Better to give them than get them.
Wouldn't it be great if we
could just go home right now?
And do what?
Go to the movies in
the middle of the day
with all the other useless people?
Forgot who I was talking to.
She's just frustrated with her husband
and taking it out on you.
You are her work Bob.
I mean, he had a chance
to go to work today,
and he turned it down
without even a thought.
Don't worry.
You found a second husband.
I am sure you'll be
able to find a third.
I do not want another husband.
I want this one.
Well, this one is broken.
Bob used to be so dedicated to work.
During one of our first dates,
he barely spoke to me because
he was so busy taking calls.
That is when I knew I would marry him.
So why are you sitting here whining?
Do something about it.
Like what?
Either snap him out of this nonsense
or create a Tinder profile.
Gloria, heads up.
Ooh, death Jell-O.
You're telling me there's no socks
in the whole mid-Atlantic?
Bubala, listen to me,
I've been doing business with
your family for almost 50 years.
I was at your freaking bris.
I'm getting another call,
let me know when you pull
your head out of your ass.
Go for Dottie.
Hey, Mom, how's it going
finding a new supplier?
Terrible,
but I'm having a blast.
All this chaos
reminds me of the old days.
If only my heart could still handle
a pot of coffee and an eight ball.
It's amazing you only
had the one stroke.
No leads?
No, it's backed up everywhere.
Not just Malaysia, all the Asias.
I'm glad you're having fun.
You know me, sweetie.
If I can't create the drama,
- at least I can enjoy it.
- (KNOCKING)
Is that China?
- It's Bob.
- May I?
DOTTIE: Goodwin wants to talk to you.
Hey, Goodwin.
GOODWIN: Hello, Mr. Wheeler.
I have everything under control.
Enjoy your time at home.
Okay. Well, call me if you need me.
Okay, I will not, bye-bye.
Why didn't you tell him the truth?
That is the truth.
- No, it's not.
- It will be!
Drama, drama, drama.
Oh, good, you are home.
- Close your eyes.
- What?
Close your eyes.
I like where this is going.
- I got you a surprise.
- Oh, boy.
Okay, open.
A suit? You bought me a suit?
I did.
Aw, this'll be great for church.
All the aunties will be
feeding me their puff-puffs.
It's not quite right for church,
but it is perfect for a
chief executive officer.
(SCOFFS) Very subtle, Mrs. Wheeler.
Is it? Let me try again.
Go to work, please.
Goodwin's running things.
I don't want to step on his toes.
You are the boss.
His toes are meaningless.
Try on your suit.
I will, if you promise to take it off.
I am worried you are
misunderstanding me.
Go. Back. To. Work.
Okay, thank you for your time.
No luck with Korea.
Then why are you thanking them?
Even if our world is ending,
I still like to be polite.
Talked to the factory in
Turkey that had surplus,
but we got outbid by those
Fruit of the Loom douchebags.
Freaking Fruit of the Loom.
- Freaking Fruit of the Loom!
- Ugh!
All my old contacts are dead ends.
Some of them are just dead.
How many Red Bulls have you had?
I'll ease up,
if you give me some of your Adderall.
DOUGLAS:
This isn't how I thought it would end.
I figured it would be
Mom losing the company
in a poker game.
Me, too!
I will tell the vendors
we are experiencing delays
and their orders are not en route.
You will tell them nothing.
But what do I say when they call?
That they are en route.
- But they are not en route.
- Stop saying that!
Hi, this is Dottie Wheeler,
may I speak with Gene Eichelberger?
Aw he was a good guy.
Guess who found us some socks.
- Oh!
- Yay!
- Where did you find them?
- I got friend of a friend
who works at the Port of Baltimore.
He's got a container full
of compression socks just sitting there.
Attaboy, Bobby!
Yeah, I also watched True Grit.
Pretty good day.
This is wonderful news.
I will not have to lie to our customers.
Slow down. You still might.
Why are they sitting in the port?
Oh, a lot of times when
companies go bankrupt,
their merchandise sits in port.
Under FIATA regulation,
that product can't be moved
until they find a new buyer.
- Oh
- Good point.
Yeah, this is recycling
and this is garbage.
If we're gonna do this,
we got to go now.
Otherwise,
we're gonna start missing shipments.
Uh, Mr. Wheeler,
I know you are trying to help,
but we know nothing about those socks.
Then we better hit the road
and check 'em out.
You got a better idea, I'm all ears.
Perhaps your better idea is en route.
Let's go.
I am impressed that you
know how to drive this.
Me, too.
I'm kidding.
Learned how to drive these
when I was a teenager,
working for my dad.
Those must be good memories.
I hated it.
All my friends were chasing girls,
smoking pot.
I was trying to avoid serial
killers at truck stops.
We have something in common.
I, too, was exploited by my father.
Cheap labor.
- Free labor.
- Hmm.
I resented it at the time,
but now I cannot wait
for my babies to grow up
and work for nothing.
I am sorry I put MaxDot in
such a terrible position.
You're responsible for global warming
and an early monsoon season?
I should have had a backup plan.
Goodwin,
you can't put it all on yourself.
Then who do I put it on?
Well, off the top of my head,
I'm gonna say Al Gore.
- What?
- Think about it.
He sounded the whole
global warming thing.
Before that, we were just
enjoying really mild winters.
You are talking nonsense.
Yes, I am. Helps me sleep at night.
How about some music?
(ELECTRIC LIGHT ORCHESTRA'S
"DON'T BRING ME DOWN" PLAYS)
Oh, yeah, here we go.
Come on, you know this one.
(SINGING ALONG):
Don't bring me down ♪
- Groos ♪
- Goodwin ♪
Don't bring me down ♪
- Groos ♪
- Goodwin ♪
I am not in the mood, Mr. Wheeler.
- (MUSIC STOPS)
- Come on.
Lighten up, we're on a road trip.
One of these days ♪
You're gonna break your glass ♪
(SINGING ALONG):
Don't bring me down ♪
No, no, no, no, no ♪
No, no ♪
Ooh-ooh-hoo! ♪
There you go!
- I'll tell you once more ♪
- (HORN HONKS)
Before I get off the floor ♪
- Don't bring me down. ♪
-
(PHONE RINGS)
Hello.
Hey, just calling to say good night.
- Where are you?
- Just outside Akron.
Ah, I've never been there, is it nice?
No, it's Akron.
(LAUGHS) How's your drive so far?
Good. Tell your mother we loved
the dinner she packed for us.
You miss me?
You only left a few hours ago.
Aw, sweetie,
don't be sad, I'll be home soon.
She misses me.
- (PHONE RINGS)
- Oh, that's great.
- Everything at the hospital good?
- Yeah.
- Kemi and Gloria behaving?
- Hello, my love.
Bob
could you finish your
call in the bathroom?
I guess so.
Hang on.
Are the children ready for bed?
Put them on.
I was fine talking in front of you.
Hello, my babies.
Are you ready for your bedtime story?
Mm-hmm. (CLEARS THROAT)
That's really sweet.
This is private.
Go back in the bathroom.
(MACHINE HISSES)
(HISSES)
(GROANS)
Any way we can turn that down a little?
- (MUFFLED): No, I cannot.
- What?
(HISSING STOPS)
If I turn it off,
I might suffocate in my sleep.
I'm willing to take that risk.
I am sorry,
but I have unusually narrow airways
for a man my size.
Should've gotten two rooms.
You agreed we should try
to save the company money.
That's before I knew I was
bunking with Darth Vader.
Where are you going?
- To go get another room.
- Sure.
That is the Wheeler way.
What's that supposed to mean?
Never mind.
No, you got your little mask off,
spill it.
Okay.
Your free-spending,
devil-may-care attitude
is what put MaxDot on the
brink of financial ruin.
Is that right?
Your company Cadillac,
your brother's Corvette,
your brother.
Somebody's been keeping a list.
And checking it twice.
Well, as long as you're checking stuff,
you might notice that
when I ran the joint,
nobody had to schlep to Baltimore
to buy socks out of
a shipping container.
So, you do blame me?
No. Uh, a little. I don't know!
Good night, Mr. Wheeler.
Aw, screw it.
We only got a couple hours left anyway.
(MACHINE HISSING)
Goodwin.
Hello?
Fine, be that way.
(MUFFLED): What is that disgusting odor?
Oh, good,
you can smell through the mask.
What's in that container?
- You a cop?
- Never mind.
Right here.
These socks are not stolen, are they?
- You a cop?
- Never mind.
May I?
Knock yourself out.
Please be good, please be good.
Oh, here we go.
These are beauties.
Y-stitched heel.
Check out that tight weave.
Oh, people will love sliding
their feet into these babies.
You guys really like socks, huh?
Not in a weird way, we sell 'em.
We will need to inspect
the rest of the boxes.
Fine with me.
- And you're clear this is a cash transaction.
- BOB: Yeah, we're clear.
And you're legally
authorized to sell them.
Never mind.
Aw, these are great.
If the whole shipment is like this,
we're saved.
Thanks to you.
Come on, man.
I believe last night,
just before you intentionally farted
you blamed me for the
company's misfortune.
How about you and me share the blame?
I dumped MaxDot on you
and went on my merry way.
You bought a boat.
Mistakes were made by all parties.
I suppose I was more worried
about saving face than
solving the problem.
(SCOFFS) Nobody's perfect.
I have to be.
I am the first non-white,
non-Wheeler president,
which means I get one chance.
Says who?
Says this country.
Do I really have to give
you a history lesson?
Okay, fine, but this is not the country.
This is MaxDot,
where we pride ourselves on screwing up
over and over again.
That's the Wheeler way.
Thank you, my friend.
All right, let me see if I can
get this guy to cut us a deal.
Oh, let me do it.
I am a Nigerian.
So?
Negotiating is in my blood.
When I was born,
my mother dragged herself
to three hospitals
before she found an acceptable price.
Here you go.
Can I tell you something?
Sure.
When you came back to the company
and they offered you the janitor job,
I thought for sure you'd say no.
But you didn't.
You took the job and toughed it out.
Showed a lot of character.
Thank you, Douglas.
I mean, if it was me,
- I would've hung myself in the supply closet.
- (GROANS)
Uh, pipes aren't sturdy enough,
I checked.
(PHONE RINGS)
Tell me something good.
Oh, thank God!
Bobby got the socks!
- (SIGHS)
- Well, great job, honey.
We'll see you when you get back.
We should go celebrate.
- Great idea, Douglas.
- Thank you, Mom.
Oh, Christina,
when you're finished cleaning up here,
maybe you can come and join us.
Why aren't you eating?
I have no appetite.
Don't worry, it's gonna be okay.
Yes.
Even if Bob's business goes under
and you lose your house,
you will still have me.
You will live with Gloria,
but you will still have me.
(PHONE RINGS)
It's Bob.
What happened?
Oh, that's wonderful news.
They got the socks.
- Oh, great.
- Yes, yes, great.
Are they still at the Baltimore docks?
Where are you? Yes.
See if he can get me a
60-inch flat-screen TV.
Oh! And one of those
talking refrigerators.
Okay, drive safe.
I'll talk to you later tonight.
I still have a house.
To your house.
- To my house.
- To your house.
That is wonderful news.
What is wonderful?
Abishola says Bob got the socks.
(OTHERS SIGHING)
Finally he does something good.
Congratulations,
you will not lose your home.
(SIGHS) I am so glad I
got Bob back to work.
Uh-uh. You?
I am the one who has been
shaming him day in and day out.
That only made him feel weak.
I gave him encouragement
when we were stranded
on his stupid boat.
When he asked me if he
should go back to work
while we were playing video games,
I said yes.
We can all agree it was not Dele.
BOTH: Mm-hmm.
You know,
I put his name on the prayer list
at church every week.
So, you are taking credit for this?
No, I am giving God credit.
It was not God.
It was me!
- This food is delicious.
- You know why?
These mom-and-pop places,
they make everything in-house.
Nothing's premade, nothing's frozen.
Nothing's clean.
I bet they never have
to scramble for supplies
from Kuala Lumpur.
I have never been there,
but I hate that place.
You know
- We could do it.
- Do what?
This.
Make biscuits and gravy?
Take back control of our business.
I do not understand.
America used to have a
booming textiles industry,
and we moved it all overseas.
Why don't we
bring it back?
Oh, the cost would be astronomical.
Only at first.
But if we could control
our socks start to finish,
our profit would skyrocket.
We could be completely
vertically integrated.
Everything from spinning to knitting.
- The whole shebang.
- Shebang?
- Magilla.
- Oh, yes.
Other companies would call us
when they had shipping problems.
And we would gladly help them out,
charging ludicrous fees.
We'd be bringing business
back to Detroit.
Ford. General Motors.
MaxDot Therapeutic Hosiery.
Mr. Wheeler, do not say all
this if you are not serious.
I'm as serious as a
moisture-wicking toe seam.
Last night I said you
were devil-may-care,
but I was wrong.
You are chutzpah!
To chutzpah.
To chutzpah.
Hey.
I thought you'd be asleep.
I was staying awake to
give you a hero's welcome.
Hero's a strong word.
I mean, sure,
I saved the company from going under.
Maybe hero's right.
(CHUCKLES) You must be exhausted.
Actually,
I'm kind of excited about something.
You've decided to go
back to running MaxDot?
No, Goodwin's still in charge.
- Oh.
- I'm gonna do something bigger.
Oh!
I'm gonna start up a
manufacturing division
of MaxDot.
So, you are not going
to be at home all day?
No, it's gonna be a lot of work.
I got to find a warehouse,
buy knitting machines, sock ovens,
those little "Made in America"
stickers with the flags on 'em.
All I heard is that it's
going to be a lot of work.
- It's also gonna be expensive.
- Mm-hmm.
We'll have to get a big loan.
Have to put up some kind of collateral.
- Collateral?
- Yeah, probably the house.
This house?
Don't worry, we're not gonna lose it.
No one thinks they are
going to lose their house.
That's right, positive thinking.
Thanks for talking me into this.
You're the best.
Previous EpisodeNext Episode