Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999) s04e06 Episode Script

1
[WHISTLING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
SHH!
[GIGGLE]
Jimmy: HOLY MACKEREL!
Boy: OH, BROTHER!
WHAT THE HUH?
JONNY, YOU BLIMPHEAD!
MOVE IT OR LOSE IT!
OW! UNH!
HEH HEH HEH!
HEY FRED-DY!
THERE'S BIG CASH IN
SHOW BIZ, DOUBLE D.
UNLESS YOU'RE ON CABLE. HA!
Kevin: WHAT A RIP!
THIS IS SO LAME,
I'M READY TO HEAVE.
A TROUBLEMAKER!
IS THERE A PROBLEM HERE, PATRON?
THIS MOVIE SUCKS EGGS.
SO GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY.
[GASP]
HEH HEH! HAVE SOME
POPCORN, KEV-O.
ON THE HOUSE.
HUH? WHY DOES HE
GET FREE POPCORN?
I WANT FREE POPCORN!
A DISCHARGED NIBLET FOR ROLF?
[THUD] AAH!
[CRASH]
[ROLF MUMBLING]
"I WANT FREE POPCORN,
I WANT FREE POPCORN."
WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE,
SOME POPCORN FAIRY?
Jimmy: MY EYES!
THIS BUTTER SUBSTITUTE
IS STINGING MY EYES!
NOW, THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT.
MIND YOUR OWN BEESWAX!
UNH! OH!
AWW, DID KEVIN GO BOOM?
RIGHT.
Kevin: FOOD FIGHT!
HA HA!
YOU MISSED! UH-OH!
[LAUGHTER]
PEOPLE, PLEASE!
LET'S NOT BEHAVE LIKE CHILDREN!
YO, ROLF! THINK FAST!
TOO SLOW.
EDDY, DO SOMETHING!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'M MAKIN' A KILLING
HERE, DOUBLE D.
[YELLING AND LAUGHTER]
FAR OUT. LOOKS LIKE 3-D.
Girl: AAH!
ED? IS SOMETHING THE MATTER?
WELL, LOOK WHO
DECIDED TO JOIN US!
Edd: ED! WHAT'S THE
MATTER WITH YOU?
[CHATTER]
All: AAH!
AWAY WITH YOU,
UNWANTED PESTERERS!
ED!
YOU LISTEN TO ME, MISTER.
YOU CAN'T KICK ME OUT.
I LIVE HERE, TOO.
SO MOVE!
EH, EH, OK. WE BETTER GO.
YOU READ MY MIND.
CATCH YA ON THE REBOUND, SLICK.
IS IT ME,
OR IS JONNY'S VOCABULARY
DETERIORATING?
I WAS HOSIN' THEM BIG TIME
WITH THAT FOOD FIGHT,
TILL MR. HAPPY SHOWS UP
AND RUINS EVERYTHING!
HEY, GRUMPULA!
WAKE UP ON THE WRONG SIDE
OF THOSE STEEL SOCKS OF YOURS?
HEY, SOURPUSS!
A DARK CLOUD SEEMS TO BE
HANGING OVER ED'S HEAD, EDDY.
OUR FRIEND IS A MERE
SHELL OF THE AWKWARD,
UNVARNISHED DUNDERHEAD
WE KNOW AND LOVE.
IT'S OUR DUTY TO SEE ED THROUGH
THIS PLAGUE OF GRIEF.
AH, THE GUY'S A BIG BABY.
HE'S PROBABLY JUST GOT GAS.
ED? IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN DO
TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?
Eddy: HEY, DOUBLE D,
IS THAT A LUMP ON A LOG?
HEE HEE HEE!
UHH!
ED CERTAINLY IS LONG
IN THE FACE, EDDY.
THAT'S 'CAUSE HE DOESN'
HAVE A CHIN, EINSTEIN!
SHUT UP!
EDDY, PLEASE!
ED'S HAVING A BAD DAY.
ED'S A WUSS. Ed: HEY,
RUMPLE-FOREHEAD!
I'll GIVE YA 3 TO GE
OVER YOURSELF.
ONE!
SMILE, YOU MISERABLE TWO!
SNAP OUT OF IT, YOU
YOU TORMENT ME!
I'M HURT NOW.
ED?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE
WHEN I'M FEELING CRABBY?
A BIG HUG TO SQUEEZE
THOSE CARES AWAY.
TOUCH ME AGAIN AND
I WILL SQUASH YOU!
WAY TO GO, MR. SENSITIVE.
A HUG. OH, THAT'S RICH.
HA HA HA! ED?
IF YOU CARE TO
SHARE YOUR FEELINGS,
I WANT YOU TO KNOW
I'll BE RIGHT HERE
FOR YOU, MY FRIEND.
[GULPS]
[GRUNTING]
[THUNDER]
Edd: HEH HEH. WELL
LET'S LEAVE ED TO GATHER
HIS THOUGHTS, EDDY.
A LITTLE SELF-INTROSPECTION
MAY DO HIM A WORLD OF GOOD.
COMING, EDDY?
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW?
KNIT HIM A SWEATER?
EDDY!
THAT'S MY NAME.
ARE YOU DOING?
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
GATHERING THINGS TO CHEER ED UP,
NOT UNCLOG HIS DRAIN.
FOR EXAMPLE, ED
ADORES PUDDING SKIN.
SO, I'VE TAKEN THE
LIBERTY OF ADORNING ONE
WITH A WHIMSICAL SMILE!
ISN'T IT SPIFFY?
OH, I GET IT!
SO, THIS HUNDRED-YEAR-OLD
SANDWICH
IS SURE TO PLEASE
MR. CRANKY-PANTS.
[WHISTLE]
IT'S A MAGAZINE. ED'S
BEEN HOLDIN' OUT ON US.
HUH?
HEH HEH HEH.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
THEY HAD MAGAZINES LIKE THAT.
[CLUNK]
HEH HEH.
KEVIN! WHAT IN HEAVEN'S
PASS IT HERE, KEV!
[CLUNK]
DOUBLE D, YOU GOTTA TRY THIS.
[BOING]
POTENT! HA HA HA!
WHOA!
OH!
IS HE HAPPY YET?
NOT EVEN A SMIRK, EDDY.
Eddy: THIS STINKS!
[GROANS]
"ITS TENTACLES TIGHTENED,
SUCKING THE MARROW"
YIP!
[WHIMPERING]
Edd: GO ON, BLOW
OUT THE CANDLE, ED,
AND MAKE A BIG, HAPPY WISH!
[BOOM]
Edd: YOW!
HA HA HA!
YIP!
LA LA LA MR. ROBOT,
OUR MOODY FRIEND
SURE COULD USE A GOOD CHUCKLE.
WHY DON'T YOU SING HIM A SONG
AND LIFT HIS SPIRITS?
I HATE PUPPET SHOWS!
OOH! YOU WERE NOT EVEN TRYING!
YOU PICK THAT UP, MISTER!
NICE TOY.
[INDISTINCT WHISPERING]
NO WAY. FORGE
IT. I AIN'T DOING IT!
BUT, EDDY LOOK AT HIM.
IF ED DOESN'T CHEER UP SOON,
HE COULD BECOME
A PERPETUAL MOPE.
DO YOU REALIZE
HOW MISERABLE
OUR LIVES WOULD BE?
[ROOSTER CROWING]
BAWK BAWK BAWK.
LOOK AT ME, I'M A CHICKEN!
CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK.
YOU LOVE CHICKENS!
CHICKENS MAKE YOU HAPPY!
GRR! BAWK BAWK BAWK.
HOW ABOUT I LAY YA AN EGG?
AH!
[SMASH]
YOU FORGOT TO WIGGLE
YOUR TAIL FEATHERS, EDDY.
THAT'S IT!
I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE
WITH YOUR BAD MOOD!
CRACK A SMILE! BUST A GUT!
BE HAPPY!
GET OVER IT!
AAH!
BIG TROUBLE!
Girl: OW! AAH!
[HORSE WHINNIES] YEE-HAA!
DOUBLE D, WAKE UP!
[CRASHING]
Jonny: WOO-HOO! RIGHT ON!
I WANT TO BE ALONE!
PLANK?
GIVE ME PLANK BACK, YOU MEANIE.
I'M TRYING BUDDY,
BUT I CAN'T REACH YOU.
YOU WANT ME TO WHAT?
THAT'S WEIRD, BUDDY.
BUT I'll DO IT.
OH, THIS OUGHT TO BE GOOD.
GERONIMO!
ED IS HAPPY ONCE MORE!
BUDDY!
NEVER A DULL MOMEN
WITH THESE CLOWNS,
HUH, PLANK?
A PEBBLE?
ED'S BAD MOOD WAS
ALL BECAUSE HE HAD
A PEBBLE IN HIS SHOE?
Jonny: HE'S MAD,
I TELL YOU, MAD!
MY FRIENDS, MY PALS!
I NAME HERE!
[MANIACAL LAUGHING]
SOMEBODY HAD A GOOD
DAY, HUH, DOUBLE D?
[LAUGHTER]
NICE.
PUTTING ONE'S
SHOULDER TO THE WHEEL
CERTAINLY HAS ITS REWARDS.
THERE!
REFINISHED, REJUVENATED,
AND REUSABLE.
WHAT'S THIS?
STRANGE.
NOW, WHAT COULD A
LIPSTICK DISPENSER
BE DOING IN MY YARD?
OH, MY
YOO-HOO!
HI-YA, DREAMBOAT!
[WOLF WHISTLING]
PUCKER UP, OVEN MITT!
Edd: NO, PLEASE!
YOU WOULDN'T DARE!
[KISS]
AH MMM HMM
SPOON PLEASE!
HA HA HA!
WHAT?
[CRASH]
HELLO? HEL-LO?
THANK YOU, SPOON!
BIG HUG FOR MY HONEY!
AAH! OOH!
PUT THOSE LIPS TOGETHER
AND MAKE LIKE A FISH!
GIRL GERMS!
[RING]
AH.
UGH.
KANKER!
Girl: HEH HEH HEH!
[WHIMPERING]
WHAT, YOU, TOO?
A BALL OF YARN IN THE
CLAWS OF RAPTURE,
I'M AFRAID.
Eddy: WHAT'S WITH
THOSE STUPID KANKERS?
WHY CAN'T THEY
JUST LEAVE US ALONE?
GOOD GOLLY ALMIGHTY!
WHAT IS THAT HORRIBLE ODOR?
ED?
NOT I, DOUBLE D!
TALK TO MR. STINKWAD.
HEY, I HAD A KANKER
HAIRBALL STUCK IN MY SHOWER.
Edd: CALM DOWN, EDDY.
I'M SURE IF WE PUT OUR
TWO-AND-A-HALF HEADS TOGETHER, WE
THINK OF SOMETHING, SMART GUY!
SHH-SHH!
SO?
THINK! THINK! THINK! THINK!
Both: THINK! THINK! THINK!
[HORN HONKING]
THINK! THINK! THINK!
VERY WELL, THEN!
AND IT BETTER BE GOOD.
[CLOCK TICKING]
WHERE YA GOIN'?
HEH HEH!
[BIRDS CAWING]
UNH [YELLING GIBBERISH]
HMM MM-HMM.
Eddy: YOU'RE ONTO
SOMETHING, AREN'T YA?
OH! OH! I KNOW. DON'T TELL ME!
WE HIT THEM WITH A ROCK!
[BELL RINGS]
AND THAT'S STUPID!
COULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT!
WHERE'D YOU GO?
[MUMBLING]
[YELLING GIBBERISH]
WHAT IS WITH THE ROCK, ROLF?
HELLO,
BUNDT-CAKE-FOR-BRAIN ED BOY.
ROLF IS USING THIS SMALL ROCK
TO CRUSH THIS BIGGER ROCK.
BUNDT CAKE CRUSHES ROCK?
Rolf: NO. ONLY ROCK
WILL BREAK ROCK!
BY GEORGE, THAT'S THE ANSWER!
PIZZA SLICE BREAKS ROCK?
ED BOY! NO PIZZA, ROCK!
HALF-EATEN PRETZEL-BAGEL
BREAKS ROCK?
MUST ROLF BEAT SOME SENSE
INTO THAT OVERCOOKED NOODLE
THAT YOU CALL A HEAD?
Edd: ROLF! THANK YOU FOR BEING.
AN UNLIKELY SOURCE
OF INSPIRATION.
I'M A NOODLE-HEAD,
AND YOU'RE NOT!
HA HA HA!
OOF!
ROLF, TOO, YEARNS
THE SIMPLE LIFE
AS A NOODLE-HEAD!
EDDY!
I'VE FORMULATED A REMEDY
TO OUR KANKER DILEMMA!
BECAUSE ONLY A ROCK
CAN BREAK A ROCK!
YOU SPENT ALL THIS TIME THINKING
AND THAT'S WHA
YOU CAME UP WITH?
IT'S JUST AN ANALOGY, EDDY.
ROCK BREAKS ROCK;
FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE.
UGH.
WE USE REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY!
OH, I GET YA!
WE HIT THEM WITH A BOOK!
HA HA! OH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE!
PERHAPS A DEMONSTRATION
WILL HELP CLARIFY THINGS.
ED, LISTEN CAREFULLY
NOW, EAT THAT DIRT.
HA HA HA.
WHAT AN IDIOT.
I THOUGHT YOU
SAID TO EAT THE DIRT.
THAT'S REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY, EDDY.
"IN ORDER TO DEFEAT OUR ENEMY,
WE MUST BECOME OUR ENEMY."
HEY, MAY, CAN I
BORROW YOUR BARRETTE?
MY CUTIE PIE'S GONNA
LOVE MY NEW HAIRDO.
AAH!
OH, NO, YOU DON'T.
WHOA!
I NEED IT FOR HAIR.
I SAW IT FIRST.
IS THAT SO?
[CRASH] THIS IS FUN!
I BID YOU GOOD DAY, LADIES.
LOOK, GIRLS.
BIG ED'S COME FOR A VISIT.
WHAT A COINKYDINK.
I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU.
BACK OFF! HE'S MINE.
I SAY WE SPLIT HIM
UP 3 WAYS, HUH, GIRLS?
[GIGGLING]
YOU BETTER BE SURE ABOUT THIS,
OR EDD'S A GONER.
HAVE FAITH IN THE
SCIENCE OF THE MIND, EDDY.
I SAY ON THE COUN
OF 3, WE JUMP HIM.
READY?
MAY!
YOU LOOK VERY PRETTY TODAY.
OH, GEE, YOU'RE MAKING ME
BREAK OUT IN A RASH, BIG ED.
HE'S SO GOOD-LOOKING.
IN A WEIRD KIND OF WAY.
LET'S MAMBO.
SLOW DOWN, CASANOVA.
WE AIN'T COOKED YOU DINNER YET.
OW!
AAH!
[CRASH]
AHEM.
MAY I HAVE YOUR
HAND IN CARRIAGE?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, EDD?
THIS GUY'S STARTING TO
FREAK ME OUT, GIRLS.
BACK OFF, MISTER!
EDDY, LOOK! IT'S
BEGINNING TO WORK!
IT IS? SEE, WHAT'D I TELL YA?
[GRUNT]
WHAT'S HE UP TO NOW?
A TREAT FOR MY SWEETS?
OK, LET'S PITCH SOME WOO.
[KISSING]
LEE, DO SOMETHING.
I'M ON IT, MARIE!
HA HA!
EDD, YOU DID IT!
YOU'RE A MASHER.
AND I AIN'T TALKING
POTATOES, EITHER.
LET'S REVERSE PSYCHO
WHATEVER THE STORE
INTO GIVING US SOME
FREE JAWBREAKERS.
WE'RE NOT DONE YET, EDDY.
NOT DONE?
NO, EDDY.
IN ORDER TO ENSURE OURSELVES
OF A KANKER-FREE FUTURE,
THE 3 OF US MUST STRIKE
WHILE THE IRON IS HOT.
HMM NO WAY.
I'll WAIT FOR THE MOVIE.
ED, PLEASE DON'T GET EDDY.
HA HA! HA HA!
LEAVE ME ALONE! I
DON'T WANNA! GO AWAY!
WHAT JUST HAPPENED THERE?
MOM WAS RIGHT.
THROW A MAN A BONE,
AND HE'LL MESS UP THE CARPET.
WELCOME HOME, MY
DAINTY, DOWDY DARLINGS.
I HAVE FRESHLY LAUNDERED SOCKS
FOR EACH OF MY
CONTEMPTUOUS CUPCAKES.
AND I MADE MY CHICKS PANCAKES.
KETCHUP?
SEE? "I LOVE YOU."
A POET I AM.
THESE GUYS ARE CREEPING ME OUT.
LET'S HIDE IN OUR ROOMS!
WAIT UP, GIRLS!
UH-OH.
[ELEPHANTS TRUMPETING]
SURPRISE, SURPRISE!
LOVE KNOWS NO
BOUNDS, TURTLEDOVES.
WHILE LABELING ALL THE
PERSONAL ITEMS IN YOUR BOUDOIR,
I TOOK THE LIBERTY
OF PLANNING A MORE
ERGONOMIC ARRANGEMEN
TO OUR LOVE NEST.
THEY'RE SO SUFFOCATING!
MAKE 'EM GO AWAY, LEE.
THAT'S IT. I'M CALLING THE COPS.
DIAL ME FOR LOVE.
STOP! GO AWAY!
LET ME OUT!
SHE LOVES ME, SHE LOVES ME ALSO.
AAH!
Ed: IT'S DARK. HA HA! HA HA!
AAH!
CARE TO SNUGGLE UNDER
MY BLANKET OF AMOUR?
AAH!
I HAVEN'T HAD THIS MUCH FUN
SINCE FATHER LET ME
DISASSEMBLE HIS SHAVER.
HERE, EDDY, IT'S YOUR TURN.
GO ON, EDDY. SHOW NO MERCY.
MAKE THEM NEVER BOTHER US AGAIN.
[KNEES KNOCKING]
UM SO YEAH. UM
OH, YOU SCARE US.
YOU'RE SO GROSS.
EEK!
[DOOR SLAMS]
HA! THEY COULDN'T TAKE
THE OLD EDDY CHARM.
CAN'T BLAME 'EM, THOUGH.
I'M TOO MUCH FOR EVEN MYSELF.
YOU'RE EDDY, BIG
MAGNET TO THE, UM
BABES.
LET'S HIT ON 'EM AGAIN.
[EDDY WHISTLES]
NO USE RUNNING! YOU
KNOW YOU WANT ME.
COME ON. QUI
PLAYING HARD TO GET.
UH-OH. LOOKS LIKE WE'RE TRAPPED.
JUST PRISONERS OF LOVE.
CHECK THIS OUT, BOYS.
PHBBT!
OK, TOOTS. IT'S SMOOCHING TIME.
OOH. YUCK. GERMS.
LEAVE US ALONE.
CLICK, CLICK.
OOPS. YOU FOUND ME.
DON'T COME ANY CLOSER.
YOU ARE A SNEAKY BUNNY.
AAH! HOLY SHMOLY!
SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT HERE.
DON'T KISS ME, DOUBLE D.
HEE HEE HEE!
THIS CAN'T BE.
THEY TURNED THE
TABLES ON US, EDDY.
IT'S A REVERSE
REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY!
HA HA HA!
Ed, Edd, and Eddy:
WE ARE TOO YOUNG!
AAH!
[KISSING]
ED, EDD, AND EDDY!
YEAH.