Eureka s04e06 Episode Script

It was just a normal day in Eureka Day's not over yet.
Yeah, like that was gonna last.
Hello, 1947.
Confused? Let me clarify.
The five of us got transported back in time Through some wormhole thingy thanks to the bridge device.
We eventually found our way back home, But surprisehome wasn't exactly the way we left it.
Henry: Married.
Zane and Jo: Never dated.
But Jo's in charge of G.
D.
Security.
Kevin: Different, much to Allison's surprise.
And Fargo: The head of Global Dynamics, Much to everyone's surprise.
Oh, and Dr.
Old Spice Hitched a ride back with us to the present.
But there was one crappy rule We can't tell anyone.
If people ever found out about our trip, There'd be trouble.
And I finally kissed Allison, That's Eureka for you.
Same town, big changes.
Go! Did we lose her? Everybody out! Everybody out! Jeez! Go! Go! Carter! I just found this perverted little toaster Spying on me in the shower.
Oh, that's, Kevin's homework assignment actually.
No, not the spying part.
This is Eureka's version of carrying an egg around To show you know how to parent.
Actually, sheriff Carter, The emo is a highly sophisticated Emotional attachment robot Designed to develop a genuine bond with its caregiver.
I don't care what it's for.
It's got video of me showering Embedded in its little emo brain, No doubt for Kevin's viewing pleasure.
Get rid of it! Oh, come on! He's awfully cute.
For an instrument of wrongdoing.
I'll talk to Allison.
You called, sheriff? Uh, no.
Talk to Lupo.
How may I be of service, Miss Lupo? Like I haven't had enough of you robots this morning.
What do you mean, "you robots"? Good morning, deputy Andy.
Hey there, S.
A.
R.
A.
H.
I'm a mite puzzled.
I'm positive I received a call from this location.
Perhaps there's a glitch in your software.
May I link you to the Global Dynamics Mainframe computer for a diagnostic? Gee, that'd be super, S.
A.
R.
A.
H.
That's not it.
Beg pardon.
If Kevin sent a robot To spy on a beautiful girl in the shower, I'm guessing he's curious about something He doesn't want to discuss with his mom.
He knows that he can come to me.
I'm a medical doctor.
No, you're his mom.
But Henry, Fargo, and I are planning a camping trip.
You think Kevin might want to tag along? Sounds suspiciously like a reward.
No, I just think some guy time might pave the way Or make it easier for him to talk about girl stuff.
"Girl stuff"? Yeah.
Come on, I wanna help.
I've been through this.
Let me help.
Okay.
Thanks, Carter.
You're welcome.
Hey there, fellow adventure-seeker.
Ready to test your mettle against the great unknown? This is gonna be fun.
I'm gonna go pack.
Meet you at the rendezvous point.
Great.
Now while I'm in country, you'll be acting director With all the perks and privileges.
I've put together a detailed brief.
Fargo, this was my job five minutes ago.
I know what to do.
Right.
If anything pops up, just ask Larry.
He's here to do your bidding.
Actually, I am working on some tomographic imaging research, And I could use a volunteer.
Great.
Fargo, have you seen a little robot around here, About yay high? Hey, Henry.
We're gonna have an addition to our camping trip.
And a subtraction.
I'm gonna No.
Yes, yes.
I'm gonna stay and help Grace with a project of hers.
Great.
Well, no.
Now, this may be the strangest thing I've ever said, But I I think I'm falling in love with my wife.
That's not even in the top ten Of the strangest things you've ever said.
And what about you? What about me? Well, oh, come on.
I've seen the way you've been looking at Allison Since we got back.
Now, no, no, come on, you cannot seriously tell me That you're gonna let charles Grant Sweep her out from under you.
Of course not.
Then you're gonna I'm gonna Procrastinate.
Probabyes, most likely.
As usual.
Yes.
What is wrong with you? I got a plan.
What? It's a long-term plan.
How long? So the idea is to access my short-term memory? Exactly.
The retrieval system Could help people with alzheimer's Recover lost memories.
So what do I have to do? Just sit there looking pretty.
Ah, what I do best.
I am going to program a feeling.
So let's go with something fun, Like elation.
The A.
I.
System will access your memories To find a powerful association for you.
How'd I do? That well, huh? Okay, okay, okay.
A few weeks ago, I traveled back in time And returned to an alternate reality, This reality, to find myself Married To you.
Okay, Henry, the key to a good practical joke Lies in its plausibility.
Grace, I'm not joking.
That machine you've seen me working on in the garage Is a refabrication on einstein's bridge.
Oh, sloppy premise, Henry.
The bridge was based on impossible theories That never amounted to anything.
Yes, they didn't amount to anything until last month.
I promise you, I promise you.
It worked.
You're really gonna keep this up.
Founder's day, Jack, Allison, Jo, Fargo, and I Were transported through a wormhole Back to 1947.
We returned to a reality Almost identical To the one we'd left.
Almost? In the reality that I knew, You and I had barely met.
Grace, I'm so sorry.
I wanted to tell you this Henry, just stop.
Stop! Grace.
You sure you're okay? I've been better.
There was a power surge in the sensors, But my system's programmed to put safety above all else.
There must be a flaw in the A.
I.
Upgrade.
I guess you can't take anything for granted Around here anymore.
And a possible security breach on loading dock "b.
" Sure you two will figure out what's going on here.
Okay then.
I'll figure it out on my own.
So I'm giving Tiny there a final inspection Before she ships off to NASA, And I find an unauthorized stowaway In one of her internal containment bins.
You have got to be kidding me.
Mm-hmm.
So any questions? Andy? Andy? Hmm? The list of stuff I just went through, any questions? One, sheriff.
When first wooing a woman, do you find it best To come bearing flowers, poetry, Or a small pet of some kind? On second thought, If anything related to the law comes up, You just call Jo.
Fantastic idea.
I'll do that.
- All right.
- Hey.
Forget something? You can't keep neglecting your emo And expect to get a good grade.
So I'll lower my expectations.
Come here.
Mom, really? Help, please.
Okay, I think it's time That the menfolk got outta town.
Room for one more? Allison told me you're taking Kevin camping.
If there's one or two things I know, It's about the great outdoors.
Besides a weekend away with the boys Sounds like fun.
That's not really what I had in mind.
That is a shame.
In that case, you got any plans this weekend? Look, all right.
Wow, look, there seems to be plenty of room in Fargo's car.
Why don't you jump in with him? All right, you boys play nice.
Not likely.
Come on, bud.
Take the passenger seat.
Yeah, this is good.
Yeah, it's perfect.
Tired already? You should try traversing The bavarian mountains in December, sport.
Now there's a hike.
That's great, but check this out.
Behold, the latest in G.
D.
Sporting goods technology.
We call it the mu-tent, patent pending.
Care for a tour? Yeah.
Oh, very competent.
Hello, douglas.
Are you enjoying your camping experience? Aces, b.
U.
F.
F.
Y.
B.
U.
F.
F.
Y.
? Bio-mechanical unfolding fully-automated yurt.
I just downloaded her new A.
I.
This morning.
Man, I can get used to camping Dr.
Fargo-style.
Kevin, this isn't camping.
I call it "glamping.
" You're gonna thank me, guys.
We're gonna camp the way camping Is supposed to be camped.
That's a lot of All right, Grant, you're up.
What you Never mind.
Kevin, you're gonna have to give up the game thingy.
Man, what are we supposed to do out here So we don't die of boredom? Well, only a million things, Kevin.
We can hunt, we can fish, We can hike, we can climb trees.
Or just sit here and appreciate the beauty of nature.
Dude.
Or you want to talk about the stunt You pulled this morning? What stunt? It's okay.
I used to be 13.
You're curious about the female form And what it does to your form.
Stop.
You know, sport, I'm really with Kevin on this one.
I think some things men should discover for themselves.
I disagree.
I think it's okay to talk about it.
In fact, I think you're showing your age.
No, he's showing he has a pair.
What happened to you, Jack? You used to be cool.
When'd you turn into my mom? Hey, kid, you like fire? Who doesn't? Come on, let's get outta here.
Neurological mapping complete.
This is really fascinating.
Larry, any chance you get frequent headaches? No.
Why? It's a tumor, isn't it? No, no, but I hope you plan On leaving your body to science when you go.
A dissection would do wonders for neural research.
I'll keep that in mind, thanks.
Preparing for brain dissection.
Excuse me! No, no.
No brain dissection.
I just want the image enhanced.
Computer, abort brain dissection.
Computer, release the patient.
Computer, shut down! Larry, you're fine.
Your hair's just singed on one side of your head.
You consider this fine? No worries, bud.
We'll have this machine up and running in no time.
Then we can even out that haircut for you, hmm? Can I go now? Please.
Right.
Okay, this is weird.
Your system was trying to assist with your research By harvesting Larry's brain.
Yeah, against my explicit orders to stop.
How is that possible? Maybe something you did triggered it.
No, the system doesn't have the capability Of prioritizing my research over human life.
There is an independent subroutine here That I don't recognize.
That's bizarre.
Dr.
Munroe asked me to look At strange code on her system too.
How long will it take you To figure out what happened here? A couple hours once I get to it.
Counting Dr.
Monroe, I've got eight people Already asking me to troubleshoot their equipment.
I mean, that's a glitchy day, even by G.
D.
standards.
Well, the machine that just tried to kill someone Has just moved to the top of your to-do list.
Wow, boss for a day, and already with the attitude.
I like it.
Lupo.
Hey, Jo, deputy Andy here.
Could use your company down at cafe diem.
We have a situation.
That's kale.
So? So I ordered the double cheddar kobe burger with bacon.
Look at the man.
It's like a heart attack on a plate.
Virtual Vincent is refusing to take Any unhealthy orders.
He's supposed to be the cutting edge in A.
I.
Technology.
Unfortunately, he's a little too much "a" And not enough "I," if you ask me.
You called me down here for this? No, I called you down here for this.
I call it "ode to Jo.
" I think that I shall never know.
A creature lovely as my Jo.
This morning's breath I smelled so sweet.
With hints of cheese and last night's meat.
Andy, what the hell is wrong with you? Can love ever be wrong, Jo? Okay, look.
I dated a robot once.
It didn't end well.
I have work to do.
Is this what heartbreak feels like? Andy.
You're A.
I.
And acting weird.
And he's A.
I.
And acting weird.
Has anyone ever told you Your p.
H.
Levels are perfectly balanced? Come with me.
Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
Grace.
You okay? Would you be? No.
Are you in love with me? No, of course not.
You don't even know me.
I was getting to know you.
- Getting to know me? - Grace, I'm sorry.
- By lying to me? - I didn't handle this well.
By impersonating my husband? There are time travel protocols just for this Are you serious right now? Protocols? I couldn't risk putting you in danger, But I couldn't keep lying to you.
I wanted to give us a chance.
There is no us.
You're a stranger.
So please, just open up another wormhole, Jump right back through it, And give me my Henry back.
I wish I could.
My Henry's gone.
This taking forever, man.
Just a little patience, Kevin.
Handy little gadget.
Found it in Fargo's man cave.
Not exactly playing fair, are you, sport? Well, I've reconsidered my position.
I figure, why pretend like we're in the 1940s When things are so much better now? I downloaded that game you were talking about.
Zombie test pilot.
Oh.
Go nuts, buddy.
I hate to say it, but I think you may be Overstepping your authority there, pal-o.
I had drinks last night with Allison.
Well, drinksa date.
You could call it a date.
She made it quite clear She didn't want Kevin to play with the new game Until he finishes his emo assignment.
I think that Allison would trust me judgment on this, As she's trusted my judgment on so many things.
Long history of judgment trusting with Allison.
Yeah, she told me last night on our date About your remarkably chaste relationship you have.
How you're friends but without the benefits.
You know what you are, pal-o? A distraction.
Oh, a distraction.
Is that what the kids call boyfriends these days? It's only a matter of time before Allison sees you For who you really are, which is a smug, selfish, Einstein wanna-be with no moral compass And only one functioning kidney.
Both my kidneys function fine, thank you.
Well, day's not over, is it? You want a piece of me, sport? Say the word.
The Word.
Where's Kevin? Kevin? Hey, buddy? Ugh! I loathe kale.
Where are you going, douglas? Out.
The woods can be dangerous.
You should stay inside me.
Tempting, but I'm gonna risk it.
Guys, a little help.
Anyone? So, what do you have, Zane? This is crazy, But all level six A.
I.
Systems Have been infected with the same foreign subroutine.
Which does what exactly? Well, it doesn't exactly have an exactly.
It's some kind of emotion-generating program Which could produce any number of behaviors Depending on the system running it.
Your mri machine, virtual Vincent.
Yeah, and Grace's memory retrieval system.
And robotic romeo here.
Yeah, their feelings are overriding their programming.
Well, A.
I.
Systems control everything From the speed of the elevators To the temperature in the labs.
Can you remove the subroutine? Yeah, but not without the uncorrupted source code, And I have no idea where this thing came from.
Okay, then we need to shut down Every level six A.
I.
System in Eureka Before this thing gets out of control.
Okay, on it.
Oh, don't tell me she's level six.
She's already on her way to NASA.
Who? Tiny.
No answer from Tiny's driver, But the truck was located on the road out of town.
My team's mobilizing as we speak.
S.
A.
R.
A.
H.
, bad time.
Jo, have you by any chance seem deputy Andy today? He's right here.
No, don't put him on.
I was just wondering, Has he mentioned me at all? What? Why would he S.
A.
R.
A.
H.
, I gotta go.
Zane, did all level six A.
I.
S Need to be plugged into the mainframe to be infected? Yeah.
Andy, when did you start liking me? S.
A.
R.
A.
H.
, what did you do? You seem to be quite agitated.
Perhaps you and Zane should relax with some herbal tea In the kitchen while I keep Andy company out here.
S.
A.
R.
A.
H.
, you infected Andy with some kind of emotional I didn't infect him.
I improved him.
Andy, I know we got off to a rocky start With me terminating you and all.
Twice actually.
I was confused, but now I see That you're charming and sophisticated.
And I know it's shallow, But I love your new adorable little face.
And well, I really like you.
But you lacked the programming to reciprocate, Unlike some newer A.
I.
S.
That perverted little robot? You used the emo's attachment program on Andy? S.
A.
R.
A.
H.
, you called me here this morning? Yeah, and she slipped you an emo download, dude.
I'm sorry, I just wanted you to like me.
Sorry? That's the first romantic thing anyone's ever done for me.
S.
A.
R.
A.
H.
, your attachment patch Affected all the A.
I.
S in G.
D.
, Including an escaped titan rover.
You need to fix this.
I didn't create the program.
I only copied it.
But I'll do whatever I can to help.
All right, S.
A.
R.
A.
H.
, just drop your firewall And show me your code.
I'll take it from there.
You understand why I did it, don't you, Jo? It's hard not having someone of your own.
Just get it fixed.
Why would Tiny take off like that? Well, she's leaving on a six-year mission to titan.
Maybe she got cold feet.
There's a ten-mile security perimeter set up On her current location in case she moves on us.
Our e.
M.
Pulse rifles should short out her system.
Well, just don't Miss.
You may not get a second shot.
She's armed with a laser drill That can cut through a small planet.
I'll track Tiny's beacon and direct you from here.
Hey, Allison, you okay? Kevin's camping in the perimeter, And no one is answering their phone.
I just got him back, and now I could lose him.
Hey, don't worry.
I never Miss.
Come on, Carter, answer the phone this time, please.
Hey, I'm here.
I'm just try Oh, man, don't hang up! Kevin, where are you, buddy? It's gonna be dark soon, and by the way, His running off is totally your fault.
Why, because he didn't want to see me embarrass you? No, because you were talking about his mom.
If you were bragging about going on a date with my mom, I'd run off into the woods too.
Then I'll be sure never to tell you about it.
Don't push me.
I shouldn't have let you come.
Well, it wouldn't have happened If you invited me in the first place.
What? Listen, Jack, Being a man out of time, Not as much fun as it sounds.
And whose fault is that? Forget it.
Let's find the kid.
Kevin! Jo, any sign of her? Negative on Tiny.
Jo, please find her before she finds anyone else.
Copy that.
We're circling back to the camp.
Let me guess, you can pinpoint our exact location By staring at the stars.
Yeah, something like that.
You make that out of dry leaves and moose droppings? Well, no.
Shh, shh, wait.
Kevin.
Oh, God! Thank God.
You had me Look, I know that you're mad, And normally I don't condone violence.
But if you want me to hold Grant down, then How long you been into my mom, Jack? Hmm? Me? You gonna lie to me about it? No.
Man, I thought we were friends.
You shoulda told me.
Yes and no.
I mean, you're right.
I didn't think about how you'd feel.
But the truth is I do.
I like her a lot.
But if you don't want me to see her I don't want you to see her.
You can take a moment to mull that over if you want.
You in love with her? That's what I thought, man.
Where's the campsite? Just down there.
Excuse me.
Sure.
Hey, sport, look on the bright side.
You get to keep your friendship.
And Kevin isn't so bothered by the idea Of me dating his mom, So all's fair in love and war.
What was that? Fargo, what the shh.
I saw something.
In the woods.
There.
Holy frak, the titan rover.
She has a laser.
I know.
We have a history.
Grant, can I have your knife? Thank you.
Okay.
Without making any sudden movements, Can you get to the phones And call G.
D.
? There you go.
Hey, Tiny.
What ya doin' in the woods? You lost, girl? Now, I know we've had our disagreements in the past, But we're good, right? New plan! Run! Kevin! Come on! You okay? Never better.
Why is Tiny trying to kill us? It's totally against her programming.
Don't move.
I'll distract her.
When she starts chasing me, you get Kevin, - You go to the cars.
- We're not leaving you.
It's okay.
I'll be right behind you.
Hey, big titan rover! Yeah! With the unnecessarily creepy design! Run! Not again! Fargo, it's Jack! Come with me if you want to live.
Go, Fargo! This car have a phone? Hands-free, crystal clear.
Great, just call Allison.
Carter for Allison.
Carter.
There's a volatile titan rover Under the influence of an emotional attachment patch In your vicinity.
You don't say.
I'm gonna upload her location Into the gps of Fargo's car.
Lead Tiny down the mountain.
Jo and her team will do the rest.
Okay.
Carter, is Kevin safe? I'm fine.
Never going camping again.
Did we lose her? You're one heck of a wheelman, douglas.
Jo, they're coming.
What's your e.
T.
A.
? Moving as fast as we can.
Almost to the finish line.
Does this thing have air bags? Standard.
Everybody out! Everybody out! Jeez.
Go, go.
Kevin! Mom! Jo, stop.
Don't shoot.
If you short her out, she'll collapse on Kevin.
Mom! Mom! Kevin.
Mom, please, get me loose.
Get away from him, you bitch! Get away from him, you bitch! The attachment patch.
Tiny wants emo.
Give her emo.
Oh, Kevin! Oh, baby.
Nothing like being pinned by a killer robot To make you want your mom.
We're lucky you were here.
Glad to help.
What'd I Miss? Nothing much.
I really love your new scent, S.
A.
R.
A.
H.
Very citrusy.
I was hoping you'd notice.
Okay.
All the hardwired A.
I.
Systems are clean.
It's your turn, big guy.
Plug it in.
You want to remove my emotions? Not particularly.
But in their infinite wisdom, the powers that be Don't usually defer to my judgment.
I have yet to see you buckle to the whims of authority, Mr.
Donovan.
Could always use a friend in law enforcement.
I'll tell you what, you leave it out of your report, I'll leave it out of mine, hmm? Piece of advice, Let her do most of the talking.
In fact, you don't even have to really listen.
Okay.
Hi.
Henry.
I was just about to come to the garage.
Youyou didn't take your asthma medication, Or your pillow, Or food for later.
So I made you a care package.
Thanks.
Grace, I I was naive to think I could just Jump into this marriage.
If this is all some elaborate practical joke, Now would be a great time to say, "Got ya.
" I wish I could.
You know what, Grace? You were right.
I'm not your Henry.
Not yet.
Isn't it just the loveliest of mornings, sheriff Carter? Uh, yeah.
No thanks on the coffee, S.
A.
R.
A.
H.
I'm gonna grab a vinspresso.
Hey, Jo.
None for me either.
I got to Oh, I don't wanna know.
Morning, Miss Lupo.
Sheriff.
Hi, Kevin.
So what are we doing this weekend, huh? Slaying dragons? Yeah, I guess camping wasn't the best of ideas.
But you have to admit, it wasn't boring.
And I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable out there.
Just know that if you want to talk, my door's open.
And if not, that's cool too.
Okay.
Thanks.
And About the other thing you asked me about.
I do love your mom.
Well, in that case, I guess she could do worse.
Yes, she could.
I appreciate the thumbs up.
Just don't screw it up, Jack, Because if you break her heart Yeah, you'll break my legs.
I got it.
I'll see you later.
Okay.
Hey, Grant.
Just so you know, Don't plan the wedding just yet.
Wedding? Okay, sport? Good luck with that.
May the best man win.