iCarly s04e06 Episode Script
iStart a Fan War
You brought a lunch bag? Yeah.
Ever since my mom And I've been going to therapy, She's been tryin' to be A better parent.
So, she packed me a lunch.
Aw, that's so sweet.
Unh.
A fat cake.
Uh, some packets of hot sauce a can of chug-N'-Buzz a c battery and a jar of paprika.
I said she was trying.
I didn't say she was competent.
Well, I still think It's great That her mom's trying.
Oh, man.
Shh! Why is she all-- She's got a monster crush On that dude.
Yeah, I do.
So, it oscillates, And it's got Three different speeds.
So, you know, You can change it up when-- Hey, man.
Could you point that fan Somewhere else? Oh, yeah, sorry.
His name's adam.
He's a pretty Decent lookin' dude.
And here he comes.
Yeah, he's walking this way.
Shut up and be cool.
Just shut up and be cool.
Hey, carly.
Hey, adam.
What is that, a battery? Oh, yeah.
It's a c battery.
It's great for flashlights.
That didn't go As well as I had hoped.
Synced And Edited By KesemB Okay, this next question Was sent in to icarly.
Com by a fan named Frogpunch99.
Frogpunch asks, "Hey, carly and sam, "What's the proper way to cook A pickle with a blowtorch?" Excellent question.
So, we called Carly's brother's best friend, Socko who sent over his cousin a professional welder.
Hi, bernie.
Hey, bernie.
Hey.
Will you please show The fans of icarly The proper way to cook a pickle With a blowtorch? okay.
all righty.
while bernie shows That pickle, Who's in charge we got some pretty cool news For you guys.
next weekend, Icarly's going to wooo! wooo! lame somersault.
of course, we tried to go To webicon last year.
but we were captured By a maniac who locked us In her basement.
she tried to kill our friend, Gibby.
but luckily, Gibby took his shirt off And beat her down.
gibbehh! and speakin' of gibby have you guys checked out The video of gibby trying On his new tinfoil shorts? anyway, back to webicon.
icarly will be A featured guest.
We're gonna be on a panel, Meet a buncha you fans answer questions sign autographs.
So, if you're gonna be In the area and are a fan of icarly who won't kidnap us, See ya there.
And now, let's check back in On our pickle.
yeahhh, mister pickle's gonna Feel that tomorrow.
see, the higher The grit number, The more sand is actually on-- I don't care about sandpaper.
here you go, buddy.
Eat a few of my fireballs.
Up! hey, what are you doing? I'm playing World of warlords.
Hah! why are you playin' In my room? because world of warlords Looks amazing on your tv.
Okay, dude, you keep pushing me, I am gonna rip you in half! And gotcha.
Boow! Whoo! Enjoy your ghostly stroll From the graveyard.
that game is so stupid.
it's not a game, It's a lifestyle.
actually it's an mmorpg.
an mm, what? augh.
Massively multiplayer Online role-Playing game.
I blame myself For asking, "what?" I'm gonna go get some cheese, So I can eat cheese While I play! hey, can I drive The little boat Around your coffee table? sure.
You wanna wear The captain's hat? yes.
oh, my god, it's adam.
He wants to video chat.
Be cool.
Hey, what's up? I saw you on icarly tonight.
You did? Yeah, really funny stuff.
Burning a pickle.
Thanks.
I have been checking out Your whole site.
It is awesome.
Well, don't you know How to flatter a web girl? Augh! Shush.
What was that? Uh, it's just freddie.
He's there in your room? Hey, adam.
Nice hat.
Yeah, well.
Freddie was just heading out.
Ah, guess I'm headin' out.
Leave the hat.
No, I need to wear it.
Sorry.
Um, so are you and freddie Like, a thing? Me and freddie? No.
Um, what? I mean, I'm completely available.
Good to know.
Why'd you ask that? 'Cause a lot Of your icarly fans think That you guys are dating, Or that, you should be.
Our fans? Yeah, I was pokin' around Some forums online.
Oh.
And you saw All that creddie stuff.
Yes.
That was it.
The Creddies.
Well, the creddies Are just like icarly superfans Who want me and freddie To get together.
You know, carly plus freddie, Creddie.
And then there are The seddie fans who want Sam and freddie to get together.
Seddie? Got it.
So, you and freddie Definitely aren't together? Oh, god, no.
Good, 'cause I was wonderin' If maybe you would wanna Catch a movie or something This Saturday.
Aw, I do, but I can't.
I got webicon this Saturday.
Icarly's doin' A whole big thing there.
Dang it.
Well, we'll do it Some other time.
Swear? Huh? Yeah, sure.
Some other time.
Will do.
Hey! Aah! I told you to never sneak up On me when I'm thinking About boys.
I am going to webicon With you.
Why? Because my buddy online Just told me there's gonna be A huge world of warlords booth There, And that whoever shows up Wearing the most awesome stoom Wins a big prize.
Most awesome what? Stoom.
That's cool talk for costume: Cos-Tume Stoom.
Are you sure That saying stoom Doesn't make you a zer? What's a zer? Cool talk for loo-Zer.
You know what you're About to lose? What? The fight We're about to have.
Don't, don't do it.
Yes.
Don't, don't.
Is this big enough? Don't do it.
You're crazy.
Very big pillow.
Hey, what's up? Hey.
Hey, what's up? So, how was school? Aced my physics test.
Nice.
Got an "a" On my world history report.
Good boy.
Had egg salad for lunch.
Tastehh.
You're makin' A new sculpture? Nope.
This is my aruthor costume! Cool! Aruthor? Who's aruthor? Oh, come on.
Stop it.
Aruthor Is the greatest warrior In the entire realm Of world of warlords.
His powers are equaled By no other.
Except maybe aspartamay.
Please.
Aruthor would Annihilate aspartamay, If they could ever do battle.
Why can't they do battle? What? Why can't they do battle? Why they can't do-- Aruthor Is the supreme warrior Of the hoobsher fyords.
Aspartamay Is the supreme warrior Of the pernicious berm.
So it's so weird how you guys Don't have girlfriends.
Isn't it? Aah! See, aruthoooor Aruthor and aspartamay Are separated by the farquar Dimensional plane.
Really? 'Cause if they Ever met face to face the ensuing battle Will be so volatile, It could destroy the multiverse.
Not just our universe, But all others.
I'm having diet soda.
Hey, wanna help me Glue the jewels On mbutt-Flap? Sure.
Yeah.
This is diet.
I told you it was diet.
Now, go get a sponge.
Hi.
Carly, sam, freddie, hi.
Hi.
Hey.
Hi, I'm corbin davis, Webicon v.
I.
P.
Liaison.
Whoa.
Liaison.
Yeah.
We're just so happy To have you here at webicon.
Thanks for that.
Chorizo.
I was supposed To be your liaison last year, But then, you went And got kidnapped By that psychopath.
Yeah, norah.
We remember.
She had a chicken.
Did we lose spencer? No, I thought He was right behind us.
You think maybe he got-- I am aruthor, Defender-- Uh-Oh.
Those close hard.
I am aruthor, Defender of the hoobsher fyords.
Hi, I'm corbin davis, V.
I.
P.
Liaison.
Hey, you got a couple Of broken steam pipes outside Over the door right there.
You might wanna Get that checked out.
We'll look into it.
All right.
Is there a bathroom around here? I drank a lotta juice.
Oh, sure, There's one right next To the icarly conference hall.
Wow, we have our own Conference hall? I am aruthor.
Okay, we're gonna walk past Some fans over there, So stay close together.
All right.
Gotta watch our fans.
Sounds good.
Ah, look, it's the icarly.
Aah! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey! Go help him.
Ahhhh!!!! Out of my face.
Get him.
Please, come back.
Dude, are you okay? Those girls almost tore you To pieces.
I know.
Freddie, come back.
Freddie, freddie? Just go in there And get freddie.
I already saved him once.
That's all he gets from me.
But we can't just leave-- Step aside, young wenchlings! For I am aruthor! I will save fredward By using my longstaff.
Fredward! Fredward benson, Hear my fierce bellowing.
Stop.
Soon, you shall be-- Hey, let go of my staff.
Hey, I made this.
I'm serious.
Give me that.
Did you see that? They took my longstaff.
Bummer.
Tragedy.
Hey guys, not cool.
Whoever took my-- Oh! Uh-Oh! Jee-M'nee.
Uh-Oh, that hurt so bad.
Here's your nerd stick.
Ahh.
Freddie! Freddie! Freddie! Nice meeting you, girls.
I'm gonna go sign up For the stoom contest.
Stoom? It's a cool abbreviation For costume.
Oh, that is cool.
Don't be an irk.
Bye, spencer.
Ugh.
Bye.
Oh.
Augh.
Hey, lady.
Adam! You came to webicon.
I came to see you.
Aw, he came to see me.
Nice.
Wheee.
Are you gonna come watch us On the panel? Front row center.
Yay.
Wheee.
Okay, we're gonna Take you guys Through another way.
Let's do it, baby.
Wait.
Gibby's supposed to meet us By that door.
Where is gibby? His grandfather's drivin' him And guppy here.
But I thought His grandfather's Driver's license was revoked, Like two years ago.
Grandpa?! What? Will you please quit Singin' that song? Ahh, great.
I spend seven years Fighting a war in korea, Now, I can't even do My doo-Dah song.
The korean war Only lasted two years.
I know.
But I met a lady there.
Hey, don't tell Your grandmother.
My pants are too tight.
Why can't I just take A cab to webicon? I can't eat corn.
Corn? No, it's webicon.
Oh.
And we're already An hour late.
Well, it's not me.
It's that dope in front of me.
He won't move his car.
Move it, you turtle, move it! Grandpa? Yeah.
We're still parked.
Oh.
Just drive.
Okay.
Guppy! Your aruthor costume is like, So level 90.
Thank you, seriously.
Epic stoom.
I made it myself.
What? Dude? You might win the competition With that stoom.
Ha, I'm sorry.
Did I hear you say The word might? Well, don't get too cocky.
Why not? I think I'm just cocky enough.
Yeah? Did you see the guy In the aspartamay costume Over there? Aspartamay? Where?! Oh, my god.
Aruthor and aspartamay face to face.
It seems so real.
Shh! Aspartamay! Aruthor.
The icarly q & a panel Will begin In just a couple of minutes.
So, please take a seat As soon as you can.
Thank you.
I can't believe You made me wait in line For two hours to see icarly.
I've waited in line For things That were important to you.
You think I wanted to see wicked? it was fantastic.
oh, there two seats Right there by gavin.
I can't wait to see icarly.
hey, craig Eric.
How are you boys? attention, Attention, icarly fans.
Well, first, I'd like to welcome You all to webicon.
Webicon! I love this place.
Thank you all for coming.
I know you're all big fans.
I know I'm a big fan as well.
Now, I just wanna-- Where's sam? How could she just wander off? You're gonna have A lot of questions, A lot of questions.
Here she comes.
It's very important We see those hands raised.
I'm gonna take hands raised.
If you don't raise your hand, We're not gonna Take your question, okay? Also, one question at a time.
Look at this.
Please look at what they're Selling here.
A fat shake? Brand new From the good people Who bring us fat cakes.
And now, Without further ado my name is ado.
All right.
Here they are Icarly.
We love you, carly! Freddie! Hi.
Hi carly! Thank you.
Okay, let's get started.
Who has a question For the icarly crew? Over here.
I do.
Ado.
Yes.
You guys are so awesome.
Thank you.
I really appreciate that.
You're very kind.
Do you have a question? No, please.
Okay, how about a question? You in the pink shirt.
Um, I've watched Every icarly web show ever.
And regarding sam's Blue remote control, Which I have a photo of here, If you count up all the sounds That the remote has made, It's a total of 93 Unique sound effects, Yet, there are only six buttons On the remote.
Well, I designed the remote To be programmable, So I can assign the buttons Whatever sound effects We need that week.
Ahh.
Told ya.
Um, next question.
Sam, I'm in the back right-- The girl with the bow In her hair.
Hi.
First, thanks for noticing My hair bow.
Um, I'd like to begin By apologizing For my speech issues.
I was cured for a short time, But then suffered a relapse.
Your question? Right.
As you can see, I am a creddie shipper.
Boo! Seddie! Seddie! All right.
All right, One at a time, please.
Let hair bow Finish her question.
Thank you.
Carly and freddie, What are the circumstances Surrounding your Romantic relatnship? Details, please.
Freddie and I aren't In a romantic relationship.
Respectfully, I disagree.
Yeah.
If you look here on my pearpad, You'll see screen caps I've taken From actual icarly webisodes, Proving that carly and freddie Do like each other.
Seddie! Seddie! Freddie! Freddie! --Freddie, all the way.
Here's one where freddie Touches carly's shoulder.
And in this screen cap, carly, Look at the way you're staring Into freddie's eyes.
Well, yeah, 'cause he had A tiny little pimple On his nose.
It was a blackhead.
Next question, Sam, over here! Uh Man boobs in the back there.
Yeah, I, uh-- I gotta agree With hair bow and pearpad.
Anybody who's ever Even been to icarly.
Com Can easily see that carly And freddie are in love.
Wooo! Freddie? No, we're not.
We really aren't.
We really aren't.
Admit it! Sit down.
Relax.
Momma's got this.
All right, listen up.
It's true, carly and freddie Are deeply in love.
Whoa! Oh come on, this is fun.
Freddie! You are an irk.
Adam, adam? Carly, wait.
Bring me an extra fat shake? Yeah, freddie! Freddie rules! Okay, please settle down.
Take your seats.
The icarly q & a panel Will resume in a moment.
It better resume.
Yeah! You gotta taste This fat shake.
Will you pull your head Outta your fat shake And listen to me? What? Carly really likes That adam guy, and now he-- Hey.
Don't hey me.
Did you tell adam That sam was kidding? Yes, but he still thinks You and I have some thing Goin' on.
Why? Because you just said so Into a microphone.
Well then, Bring him back in here.
I'll fix this.
He won't come back.
He's outside waiting For a shuttle.
A shuttle? Yes.
A shuttle is gonna come Get my cute future husband And shuttle him Right outta of my life! Well, what you want me to-- Just go, Tell him that you were kidding About me and carly.
Right now.
Mehhhh! Can I borrow This extension cord? No.
Yeah, well I'm takin' it.
Your costume's impressive, Quite impressive.
Thank you.
In some ways.
What mean you, "some"? Your stoom is good For an amateur.
Oh.
Uh, this costume Is an exact representation Of aruthor.
Yeah, if you're basing it On the beta version.
Ooh.
What are you saying? I'm saying That your tyranian belt buckle Is improperly bejeweled.
What's wrong with my jewels? The proper sequence Is red-Red-Green, Yellow-Red-Blue, Yellow-Yellow-Indigo.
Not red-Green-Red, Yellow-Yellow-Blue, Yellow-Yellow-Indigo.
Idiot.
Oh, yeah? Well, aspartamay's breastplate Is supposed to have One for each elf On the high counsel.
Yours has 13.
Ooh.
Have you anointed a new elf That none of we know about? Oh, I am sorry, aruthor.
Is that a burlap cape, Because isn't it supposed to be Made of jute? No, no, no.
You cannot tell What the fabric is By looking at The character artwork.
Really? Well then, Maybe you should have watched The bonus content On the frothy brook Expansion pack install disk.
Ooh.
Well, excuse me, But I am pretty sure Your costume's not supposed To have a mustard stain Right there.
I had a corn dog.
Interesting, Because aspartamay is supposed To be a vegetarian! We don't have time for this.
There's always time for soup.
Welcome To inside-Out burger.
Would you like to try Our new southwestern combo? Who said that? It was the drive-Thru guy.
Oh.
French fries.
What kind of soup Do you have? They don't have soup.
Uh, I think I'll have the chicken soup.
We don't have soup.
Who said that? The drive-Thru guy.
Oh.
French fries.
Okay, so that's Two large french fries? Yay! No, just one order of fries.
Who are you talkin' to? The drive-Thru guy! Ask him if he's got any soup.
They don't have soup.
Oh.
French fries.
Will you quit that? Okay, so three large fries? No.
Grandpa, why can't we just get Food at webicon? You know I can't eat corn.
Webiconnnn! I'm hearing the voices! Uh, yeah, the guy over there In the sweater vest? Hi, craig ramirez From san diego.
You don't need to announce Your name and point of origin.
Carly and freddie, Is it difficult for you guys To work together, Considering the fact That you're dating each other? Okay, for the 10th time, Carly and I are not dating.
You've only denied it Nine times.
Oh! Look, do you have a question That's not about me And freddie dating? So, you and freddie Are dating? I want him outta here.
Can someone get him outta here? Great, Now you got us kicked out.
Just like The teen choice awards.
Oh, that was your fault.
You're the one Who had to touch Justin bieber's hair.
You have the breath Of a dastardly goat With infected gums.
Your words have no bite, For they are spoken By a gutless fief, Sprung from a lineage of cowards And hog farmers.
Okay, seriously dude, You take that back right now.
No returns, man.
I put it out there And it's stayin' out there.
Oh my god, oh my god.
It's the battle chant Of the pernicious berm.
This is epic.
Pernicious berm.
Pernicious berm.
Pernicious berm.
Hey, he's callin' you out.
You better split.
Pernicious berm.
Pernicious berm.
Aruthor backs down From no challenge.
Hold my longstaff.
Pernicious berm.
Pernicious berm.
Hoobsher fyords.
Hoobsher fyords.
Hoobsher fyords.
Hoobsher fyords.
No way.
No way.
It's the doomsday chant Of the hoobsher fyords.
This is epic.
The prophecy.
Sound the blow-Far! Oh! Yeah! Oh, what kind of a restaurant Doesn't have soup? I thought this was america.
Sir, I can only offer you The food we have on our menu.
Well, put soup on the menu.
Why don't ya?! Okay, I'm not talking To you anymore.
Hello, sir.
Would you like some soup? I've been tellin' you I want some soup.
Okay, we have soup now.
Ah.
Would you like Chicken noodle, split pea? Oh, split pea.
I love split pea.
You can split that pea Right up the middle! Hah-Hah.
Oh, that's great news.
Please pull forward.
Ah.
French fries! Would ya put me down?! No.
Hey, sam's back.
Yeah! Freddie, we love you! Freddie! Sam! You tied him up? He was resisting.
People, yo people.
Fans of icarly, listen up.
Ooh, sam's going to speak To us.
Quiet.
Thank you, ado.
Okay, I got Two important things to say.
First.
.
I don't know If you people have tried A fat shake yet, But I have, And it's like sucking heaven Through a straw.
She sure can turn a phrase.
And second, I was just messin' with you guys When I said carly and freddie Were in love.
What? Wait, you were joking? Yep.
Hah-Hah.
She pulled our collective legs.
And if he is not dating carly, Then he's gotta be dating sam.
That's not true.
Yes! Sam and freddie for the win! No! You guys.
Seddie seddie! Stop it.
Seh-Dee, seh-Dee! No, no, wait, wait! Freddie, you and carly are meant For each other.
Creddie! Yeah! Hey, Will you guys knock it off? C'mon, everybody, please sit! Calm down Before this gets outta hand.
Stool! It's outta hand.
Stop it! This is like one Of my family reunions, Except most of these people Are wearin' shoes.
Look at them.
Sam started a fan war.
You have to stop this.
That crowd is packed with nerds.
So? Don't you understand? A nerd riot can last for days.
Many of these people Don't have jobs Or lives to get back to.
C'mon, they'll listen To you guys.
Please.
Attention.
People.
Eyes right here.
Settle down.
Guys.
Stop that! Por fin! Now please, listen.
No one is dating anyone On icarly.
I'm not dating freddie.
Freddie is not dating sam.
None of us are dating.
you lie.
yeah! geez.
ahh.
ohhh! oog-Fightiaaaaassss.
This is so cool.
longstaff.
Hah.
wrist balls.
haa! hyaa! okay.
ha! whoo! geez.
oh! geez.
how many times I gotta tell you, "we don't sell soup here.
" late to webicon.
you promised me Split pea soup! I did not.
just drive away! french fries.
ah, just gimme The kid's food there.
hey, that's for the next car.
no, it's mine now.
give it back.
get off me! grandpa! french fries.
you teased me about the soup! you want me to call The manager? I'm getting out of here.
drive away.
aah! you took the man.
stop fighting.
You don't need to do this.
Have you no sense of decency? look, I got one side done.
nice.
okay.
Hold my longstaff.
well, well.
I think aruthor deserves A special gift.
oh, my god.
aruthor's About to get powned.
feast on this nugget Of contusion.
wait, wait.
Do not throw-- uh-Oh.
aah! total pownage.
what do you--? Oww.
That was over-The-Line, man.
what? The great aruthor can't handle The nugget? your nugget was just A rock you painted gold.
wrong, sir.
It's a cement chunk That I painted bronze.
well, aspartamay, Choke on my weeping gases Of eternal suffering.
Yeah! ohh.
yeah! oh my god, that's horrible.
What is that? chlorine! aspartamay? aruthor? ahh.
shall we test your skills With a tenacus flogger? only if you like being Tenaciously flogged.
yeah.
ooh.
here.
This is our chief of security.
He's got a flare shooter.
good.
Gimme that.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Get this guy! wait, wait, wait, wait! What did I do? wait.
No, you guys.
Did no one understand What I was trying to say? Ah, forget it.
c'mon, Let's get 'em outta here.
C'mon.
Let's go, let's go.
how can I just leave adam Like that? he belongs to them now.
aah.
yeah, poor adam.
Well, let's go.
no, you hit me-- now, you'll feel my wrath.
Yeah, You flog like a flock Of ballerinas.
that's too hard, too hard.
yeah.
Boom! Now, does pain bother ye? can you take this? boom! take this.
you take this.
you take that.
then, take that.
behold! The kids From icarly approacheth! Take this.
Then take that.
I learned my skill in ascot.
Spencer! Spencer! Aruthor! Stop playing with your friend, We're going home.
Ah, he's not my friend.
He's mean.
Who dares interrupt this Epic battle? She is carly, Sister of aruthor.
Sister? Aruthor has a sister? Yaa! Leave her be! Admit that my costume Is superior to yours.
No.
Release the girl! Say your costume's lame.
Okay.
"Your costume's lame.
" You know That's not what I meant.
Too bad.
For you.
For now you shall watch As your sister feels the power-- Just bite his thumb.
--Of a thousand in one--Aah! Son of a belch, man.
She bit my thumb.
Oh, man! You bit aspartamay's thumb.
You made my thumb throb.
And now, you shall feel The wrath of a thousand And one black and white-- Hah, my sister has snatched Your brawny jewel! Waaa.
Ahh.
Ahh.
What is going on? You snatched His brawny jewel.
That was his life force.
So, now, aspartamay must die! Well, technically, He could reanimate, But it would take The combined powers Of all 99 mages And the blessings of-- He's gonna die.
He's just gonna die.
Aruthor, he won.
Now, can we go home? After we blow the horns Of our forefathers, symbolizing The vanquishment of-- We're going home.
I'll get the car.
You said There'd be soup here.
I lied.
Happy birthday.
Hey, wait up.
Ever since my mom And I've been going to therapy, She's been tryin' to be A better parent.
So, she packed me a lunch.
Aw, that's so sweet.
Unh.
A fat cake.
Uh, some packets of hot sauce a can of chug-N'-Buzz a c battery and a jar of paprika.
I said she was trying.
I didn't say she was competent.
Well, I still think It's great That her mom's trying.
Oh, man.
Shh! Why is she all-- She's got a monster crush On that dude.
Yeah, I do.
So, it oscillates, And it's got Three different speeds.
So, you know, You can change it up when-- Hey, man.
Could you point that fan Somewhere else? Oh, yeah, sorry.
His name's adam.
He's a pretty Decent lookin' dude.
And here he comes.
Yeah, he's walking this way.
Shut up and be cool.
Just shut up and be cool.
Hey, carly.
Hey, adam.
What is that, a battery? Oh, yeah.
It's a c battery.
It's great for flashlights.
That didn't go As well as I had hoped.
Synced And Edited By KesemB Okay, this next question Was sent in to icarly.
Com by a fan named Frogpunch99.
Frogpunch asks, "Hey, carly and sam, "What's the proper way to cook A pickle with a blowtorch?" Excellent question.
So, we called Carly's brother's best friend, Socko who sent over his cousin a professional welder.
Hi, bernie.
Hey, bernie.
Hey.
Will you please show The fans of icarly The proper way to cook a pickle With a blowtorch? okay.
all righty.
while bernie shows That pickle, Who's in charge we got some pretty cool news For you guys.
next weekend, Icarly's going to wooo! wooo! lame somersault.
of course, we tried to go To webicon last year.
but we were captured By a maniac who locked us In her basement.
she tried to kill our friend, Gibby.
but luckily, Gibby took his shirt off And beat her down.
gibbehh! and speakin' of gibby have you guys checked out The video of gibby trying On his new tinfoil shorts? anyway, back to webicon.
icarly will be A featured guest.
We're gonna be on a panel, Meet a buncha you fans answer questions sign autographs.
So, if you're gonna be In the area and are a fan of icarly who won't kidnap us, See ya there.
And now, let's check back in On our pickle.
yeahhh, mister pickle's gonna Feel that tomorrow.
see, the higher The grit number, The more sand is actually on-- I don't care about sandpaper.
here you go, buddy.
Eat a few of my fireballs.
Up! hey, what are you doing? I'm playing World of warlords.
Hah! why are you playin' In my room? because world of warlords Looks amazing on your tv.
Okay, dude, you keep pushing me, I am gonna rip you in half! And gotcha.
Boow! Whoo! Enjoy your ghostly stroll From the graveyard.
that game is so stupid.
it's not a game, It's a lifestyle.
actually it's an mmorpg.
an mm, what? augh.
Massively multiplayer Online role-Playing game.
I blame myself For asking, "what?" I'm gonna go get some cheese, So I can eat cheese While I play! hey, can I drive The little boat Around your coffee table? sure.
You wanna wear The captain's hat? yes.
oh, my god, it's adam.
He wants to video chat.
Be cool.
Hey, what's up? I saw you on icarly tonight.
You did? Yeah, really funny stuff.
Burning a pickle.
Thanks.
I have been checking out Your whole site.
It is awesome.
Well, don't you know How to flatter a web girl? Augh! Shush.
What was that? Uh, it's just freddie.
He's there in your room? Hey, adam.
Nice hat.
Yeah, well.
Freddie was just heading out.
Ah, guess I'm headin' out.
Leave the hat.
No, I need to wear it.
Sorry.
Um, so are you and freddie Like, a thing? Me and freddie? No.
Um, what? I mean, I'm completely available.
Good to know.
Why'd you ask that? 'Cause a lot Of your icarly fans think That you guys are dating, Or that, you should be.
Our fans? Yeah, I was pokin' around Some forums online.
Oh.
And you saw All that creddie stuff.
Yes.
That was it.
The Creddies.
Well, the creddies Are just like icarly superfans Who want me and freddie To get together.
You know, carly plus freddie, Creddie.
And then there are The seddie fans who want Sam and freddie to get together.
Seddie? Got it.
So, you and freddie Definitely aren't together? Oh, god, no.
Good, 'cause I was wonderin' If maybe you would wanna Catch a movie or something This Saturday.
Aw, I do, but I can't.
I got webicon this Saturday.
Icarly's doin' A whole big thing there.
Dang it.
Well, we'll do it Some other time.
Swear? Huh? Yeah, sure.
Some other time.
Will do.
Hey! Aah! I told you to never sneak up On me when I'm thinking About boys.
I am going to webicon With you.
Why? Because my buddy online Just told me there's gonna be A huge world of warlords booth There, And that whoever shows up Wearing the most awesome stoom Wins a big prize.
Most awesome what? Stoom.
That's cool talk for costume: Cos-Tume Stoom.
Are you sure That saying stoom Doesn't make you a zer? What's a zer? Cool talk for loo-Zer.
You know what you're About to lose? What? The fight We're about to have.
Don't, don't do it.
Yes.
Don't, don't.
Is this big enough? Don't do it.
You're crazy.
Very big pillow.
Hey, what's up? Hey.
Hey, what's up? So, how was school? Aced my physics test.
Nice.
Got an "a" On my world history report.
Good boy.
Had egg salad for lunch.
Tastehh.
You're makin' A new sculpture? Nope.
This is my aruthor costume! Cool! Aruthor? Who's aruthor? Oh, come on.
Stop it.
Aruthor Is the greatest warrior In the entire realm Of world of warlords.
His powers are equaled By no other.
Except maybe aspartamay.
Please.
Aruthor would Annihilate aspartamay, If they could ever do battle.
Why can't they do battle? What? Why can't they do battle? Why they can't do-- Aruthor Is the supreme warrior Of the hoobsher fyords.
Aspartamay Is the supreme warrior Of the pernicious berm.
So it's so weird how you guys Don't have girlfriends.
Isn't it? Aah! See, aruthoooor Aruthor and aspartamay Are separated by the farquar Dimensional plane.
Really? 'Cause if they Ever met face to face the ensuing battle Will be so volatile, It could destroy the multiverse.
Not just our universe, But all others.
I'm having diet soda.
Hey, wanna help me Glue the jewels On mbutt-Flap? Sure.
Yeah.
This is diet.
I told you it was diet.
Now, go get a sponge.
Hi.
Carly, sam, freddie, hi.
Hi.
Hey.
Hi, I'm corbin davis, Webicon v.
I.
P.
Liaison.
Whoa.
Liaison.
Yeah.
We're just so happy To have you here at webicon.
Thanks for that.
Chorizo.
I was supposed To be your liaison last year, But then, you went And got kidnapped By that psychopath.
Yeah, norah.
We remember.
She had a chicken.
Did we lose spencer? No, I thought He was right behind us.
You think maybe he got-- I am aruthor, Defender-- Uh-Oh.
Those close hard.
I am aruthor, Defender of the hoobsher fyords.
Hi, I'm corbin davis, V.
I.
P.
Liaison.
Hey, you got a couple Of broken steam pipes outside Over the door right there.
You might wanna Get that checked out.
We'll look into it.
All right.
Is there a bathroom around here? I drank a lotta juice.
Oh, sure, There's one right next To the icarly conference hall.
Wow, we have our own Conference hall? I am aruthor.
Okay, we're gonna walk past Some fans over there, So stay close together.
All right.
Gotta watch our fans.
Sounds good.
Ah, look, it's the icarly.
Aah! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey! Go help him.
Ahhhh!!!! Out of my face.
Get him.
Please, come back.
Dude, are you okay? Those girls almost tore you To pieces.
I know.
Freddie, come back.
Freddie, freddie? Just go in there And get freddie.
I already saved him once.
That's all he gets from me.
But we can't just leave-- Step aside, young wenchlings! For I am aruthor! I will save fredward By using my longstaff.
Fredward! Fredward benson, Hear my fierce bellowing.
Stop.
Soon, you shall be-- Hey, let go of my staff.
Hey, I made this.
I'm serious.
Give me that.
Did you see that? They took my longstaff.
Bummer.
Tragedy.
Hey guys, not cool.
Whoever took my-- Oh! Uh-Oh! Jee-M'nee.
Uh-Oh, that hurt so bad.
Here's your nerd stick.
Ahh.
Freddie! Freddie! Freddie! Nice meeting you, girls.
I'm gonna go sign up For the stoom contest.
Stoom? It's a cool abbreviation For costume.
Oh, that is cool.
Don't be an irk.
Bye, spencer.
Ugh.
Bye.
Oh.
Augh.
Hey, lady.
Adam! You came to webicon.
I came to see you.
Aw, he came to see me.
Nice.
Wheee.
Are you gonna come watch us On the panel? Front row center.
Yay.
Wheee.
Okay, we're gonna Take you guys Through another way.
Let's do it, baby.
Wait.
Gibby's supposed to meet us By that door.
Where is gibby? His grandfather's drivin' him And guppy here.
But I thought His grandfather's Driver's license was revoked, Like two years ago.
Grandpa?! What? Will you please quit Singin' that song? Ahh, great.
I spend seven years Fighting a war in korea, Now, I can't even do My doo-Dah song.
The korean war Only lasted two years.
I know.
But I met a lady there.
Hey, don't tell Your grandmother.
My pants are too tight.
Why can't I just take A cab to webicon? I can't eat corn.
Corn? No, it's webicon.
Oh.
And we're already An hour late.
Well, it's not me.
It's that dope in front of me.
He won't move his car.
Move it, you turtle, move it! Grandpa? Yeah.
We're still parked.
Oh.
Just drive.
Okay.
Guppy! Your aruthor costume is like, So level 90.
Thank you, seriously.
Epic stoom.
I made it myself.
What? Dude? You might win the competition With that stoom.
Ha, I'm sorry.
Did I hear you say The word might? Well, don't get too cocky.
Why not? I think I'm just cocky enough.
Yeah? Did you see the guy In the aspartamay costume Over there? Aspartamay? Where?! Oh, my god.
Aruthor and aspartamay face to face.
It seems so real.
Shh! Aspartamay! Aruthor.
The icarly q & a panel Will begin In just a couple of minutes.
So, please take a seat As soon as you can.
Thank you.
I can't believe You made me wait in line For two hours to see icarly.
I've waited in line For things That were important to you.
You think I wanted to see wicked? it was fantastic.
oh, there two seats Right there by gavin.
I can't wait to see icarly.
hey, craig Eric.
How are you boys? attention, Attention, icarly fans.
Well, first, I'd like to welcome You all to webicon.
Webicon! I love this place.
Thank you all for coming.
I know you're all big fans.
I know I'm a big fan as well.
Now, I just wanna-- Where's sam? How could she just wander off? You're gonna have A lot of questions, A lot of questions.
Here she comes.
It's very important We see those hands raised.
I'm gonna take hands raised.
If you don't raise your hand, We're not gonna Take your question, okay? Also, one question at a time.
Look at this.
Please look at what they're Selling here.
A fat shake? Brand new From the good people Who bring us fat cakes.
And now, Without further ado my name is ado.
All right.
Here they are Icarly.
We love you, carly! Freddie! Hi.
Hi carly! Thank you.
Okay, let's get started.
Who has a question For the icarly crew? Over here.
I do.
Ado.
Yes.
You guys are so awesome.
Thank you.
I really appreciate that.
You're very kind.
Do you have a question? No, please.
Okay, how about a question? You in the pink shirt.
Um, I've watched Every icarly web show ever.
And regarding sam's Blue remote control, Which I have a photo of here, If you count up all the sounds That the remote has made, It's a total of 93 Unique sound effects, Yet, there are only six buttons On the remote.
Well, I designed the remote To be programmable, So I can assign the buttons Whatever sound effects We need that week.
Ahh.
Told ya.
Um, next question.
Sam, I'm in the back right-- The girl with the bow In her hair.
Hi.
First, thanks for noticing My hair bow.
Um, I'd like to begin By apologizing For my speech issues.
I was cured for a short time, But then suffered a relapse.
Your question? Right.
As you can see, I am a creddie shipper.
Boo! Seddie! Seddie! All right.
All right, One at a time, please.
Let hair bow Finish her question.
Thank you.
Carly and freddie, What are the circumstances Surrounding your Romantic relatnship? Details, please.
Freddie and I aren't In a romantic relationship.
Respectfully, I disagree.
Yeah.
If you look here on my pearpad, You'll see screen caps I've taken From actual icarly webisodes, Proving that carly and freddie Do like each other.
Seddie! Seddie! Freddie! Freddie! --Freddie, all the way.
Here's one where freddie Touches carly's shoulder.
And in this screen cap, carly, Look at the way you're staring Into freddie's eyes.
Well, yeah, 'cause he had A tiny little pimple On his nose.
It was a blackhead.
Next question, Sam, over here! Uh Man boobs in the back there.
Yeah, I, uh-- I gotta agree With hair bow and pearpad.
Anybody who's ever Even been to icarly.
Com Can easily see that carly And freddie are in love.
Wooo! Freddie? No, we're not.
We really aren't.
We really aren't.
Admit it! Sit down.
Relax.
Momma's got this.
All right, listen up.
It's true, carly and freddie Are deeply in love.
Whoa! Oh come on, this is fun.
Freddie! You are an irk.
Adam, adam? Carly, wait.
Bring me an extra fat shake? Yeah, freddie! Freddie rules! Okay, please settle down.
Take your seats.
The icarly q & a panel Will resume in a moment.
It better resume.
Yeah! You gotta taste This fat shake.
Will you pull your head Outta your fat shake And listen to me? What? Carly really likes That adam guy, and now he-- Hey.
Don't hey me.
Did you tell adam That sam was kidding? Yes, but he still thinks You and I have some thing Goin' on.
Why? Because you just said so Into a microphone.
Well then, Bring him back in here.
I'll fix this.
He won't come back.
He's outside waiting For a shuttle.
A shuttle? Yes.
A shuttle is gonna come Get my cute future husband And shuttle him Right outta of my life! Well, what you want me to-- Just go, Tell him that you were kidding About me and carly.
Right now.
Mehhhh! Can I borrow This extension cord? No.
Yeah, well I'm takin' it.
Your costume's impressive, Quite impressive.
Thank you.
In some ways.
What mean you, "some"? Your stoom is good For an amateur.
Oh.
Uh, this costume Is an exact representation Of aruthor.
Yeah, if you're basing it On the beta version.
Ooh.
What are you saying? I'm saying That your tyranian belt buckle Is improperly bejeweled.
What's wrong with my jewels? The proper sequence Is red-Red-Green, Yellow-Red-Blue, Yellow-Yellow-Indigo.
Not red-Green-Red, Yellow-Yellow-Blue, Yellow-Yellow-Indigo.
Idiot.
Oh, yeah? Well, aspartamay's breastplate Is supposed to have One for each elf On the high counsel.
Yours has 13.
Ooh.
Have you anointed a new elf That none of we know about? Oh, I am sorry, aruthor.
Is that a burlap cape, Because isn't it supposed to be Made of jute? No, no, no.
You cannot tell What the fabric is By looking at The character artwork.
Really? Well then, Maybe you should have watched The bonus content On the frothy brook Expansion pack install disk.
Ooh.
Well, excuse me, But I am pretty sure Your costume's not supposed To have a mustard stain Right there.
I had a corn dog.
Interesting, Because aspartamay is supposed To be a vegetarian! We don't have time for this.
There's always time for soup.
Welcome To inside-Out burger.
Would you like to try Our new southwestern combo? Who said that? It was the drive-Thru guy.
Oh.
French fries.
What kind of soup Do you have? They don't have soup.
Uh, I think I'll have the chicken soup.
We don't have soup.
Who said that? The drive-Thru guy.
Oh.
French fries.
Okay, so that's Two large french fries? Yay! No, just one order of fries.
Who are you talkin' to? The drive-Thru guy! Ask him if he's got any soup.
They don't have soup.
Oh.
French fries.
Will you quit that? Okay, so three large fries? No.
Grandpa, why can't we just get Food at webicon? You know I can't eat corn.
Webiconnnn! I'm hearing the voices! Uh, yeah, the guy over there In the sweater vest? Hi, craig ramirez From san diego.
You don't need to announce Your name and point of origin.
Carly and freddie, Is it difficult for you guys To work together, Considering the fact That you're dating each other? Okay, for the 10th time, Carly and I are not dating.
You've only denied it Nine times.
Oh! Look, do you have a question That's not about me And freddie dating? So, you and freddie Are dating? I want him outta here.
Can someone get him outta here? Great, Now you got us kicked out.
Just like The teen choice awards.
Oh, that was your fault.
You're the one Who had to touch Justin bieber's hair.
You have the breath Of a dastardly goat With infected gums.
Your words have no bite, For they are spoken By a gutless fief, Sprung from a lineage of cowards And hog farmers.
Okay, seriously dude, You take that back right now.
No returns, man.
I put it out there And it's stayin' out there.
Oh my god, oh my god.
It's the battle chant Of the pernicious berm.
This is epic.
Pernicious berm.
Pernicious berm.
Pernicious berm.
Hey, he's callin' you out.
You better split.
Pernicious berm.
Pernicious berm.
Aruthor backs down From no challenge.
Hold my longstaff.
Pernicious berm.
Pernicious berm.
Hoobsher fyords.
Hoobsher fyords.
Hoobsher fyords.
Hoobsher fyords.
No way.
No way.
It's the doomsday chant Of the hoobsher fyords.
This is epic.
The prophecy.
Sound the blow-Far! Oh! Yeah! Oh, what kind of a restaurant Doesn't have soup? I thought this was america.
Sir, I can only offer you The food we have on our menu.
Well, put soup on the menu.
Why don't ya?! Okay, I'm not talking To you anymore.
Hello, sir.
Would you like some soup? I've been tellin' you I want some soup.
Okay, we have soup now.
Ah.
Would you like Chicken noodle, split pea? Oh, split pea.
I love split pea.
You can split that pea Right up the middle! Hah-Hah.
Oh, that's great news.
Please pull forward.
Ah.
French fries! Would ya put me down?! No.
Hey, sam's back.
Yeah! Freddie, we love you! Freddie! Sam! You tied him up? He was resisting.
People, yo people.
Fans of icarly, listen up.
Ooh, sam's going to speak To us.
Quiet.
Thank you, ado.
Okay, I got Two important things to say.
First.
.
I don't know If you people have tried A fat shake yet, But I have, And it's like sucking heaven Through a straw.
She sure can turn a phrase.
And second, I was just messin' with you guys When I said carly and freddie Were in love.
What? Wait, you were joking? Yep.
Hah-Hah.
She pulled our collective legs.
And if he is not dating carly, Then he's gotta be dating sam.
That's not true.
Yes! Sam and freddie for the win! No! You guys.
Seddie seddie! Stop it.
Seh-Dee, seh-Dee! No, no, wait, wait! Freddie, you and carly are meant For each other.
Creddie! Yeah! Hey, Will you guys knock it off? C'mon, everybody, please sit! Calm down Before this gets outta hand.
Stool! It's outta hand.
Stop it! This is like one Of my family reunions, Except most of these people Are wearin' shoes.
Look at them.
Sam started a fan war.
You have to stop this.
That crowd is packed with nerds.
So? Don't you understand? A nerd riot can last for days.
Many of these people Don't have jobs Or lives to get back to.
C'mon, they'll listen To you guys.
Please.
Attention.
People.
Eyes right here.
Settle down.
Guys.
Stop that! Por fin! Now please, listen.
No one is dating anyone On icarly.
I'm not dating freddie.
Freddie is not dating sam.
None of us are dating.
you lie.
yeah! geez.
ahh.
ohhh! oog-Fightiaaaaassss.
This is so cool.
longstaff.
Hah.
wrist balls.
haa! hyaa! okay.
ha! whoo! geez.
oh! geez.
how many times I gotta tell you, "we don't sell soup here.
" late to webicon.
you promised me Split pea soup! I did not.
just drive away! french fries.
ah, just gimme The kid's food there.
hey, that's for the next car.
no, it's mine now.
give it back.
get off me! grandpa! french fries.
you teased me about the soup! you want me to call The manager? I'm getting out of here.
drive away.
aah! you took the man.
stop fighting.
You don't need to do this.
Have you no sense of decency? look, I got one side done.
nice.
okay.
Hold my longstaff.
well, well.
I think aruthor deserves A special gift.
oh, my god.
aruthor's About to get powned.
feast on this nugget Of contusion.
wait, wait.
Do not throw-- uh-Oh.
aah! total pownage.
what do you--? Oww.
That was over-The-Line, man.
what? The great aruthor can't handle The nugget? your nugget was just A rock you painted gold.
wrong, sir.
It's a cement chunk That I painted bronze.
well, aspartamay, Choke on my weeping gases Of eternal suffering.
Yeah! ohh.
yeah! oh my god, that's horrible.
What is that? chlorine! aspartamay? aruthor? ahh.
shall we test your skills With a tenacus flogger? only if you like being Tenaciously flogged.
yeah.
ooh.
here.
This is our chief of security.
He's got a flare shooter.
good.
Gimme that.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Get this guy! wait, wait, wait, wait! What did I do? wait.
No, you guys.
Did no one understand What I was trying to say? Ah, forget it.
c'mon, Let's get 'em outta here.
C'mon.
Let's go, let's go.
how can I just leave adam Like that? he belongs to them now.
aah.
yeah, poor adam.
Well, let's go.
no, you hit me-- now, you'll feel my wrath.
Yeah, You flog like a flock Of ballerinas.
that's too hard, too hard.
yeah.
Boom! Now, does pain bother ye? can you take this? boom! take this.
you take this.
you take that.
then, take that.
behold! The kids From icarly approacheth! Take this.
Then take that.
I learned my skill in ascot.
Spencer! Spencer! Aruthor! Stop playing with your friend, We're going home.
Ah, he's not my friend.
He's mean.
Who dares interrupt this Epic battle? She is carly, Sister of aruthor.
Sister? Aruthor has a sister? Yaa! Leave her be! Admit that my costume Is superior to yours.
No.
Release the girl! Say your costume's lame.
Okay.
"Your costume's lame.
" You know That's not what I meant.
Too bad.
For you.
For now you shall watch As your sister feels the power-- Just bite his thumb.
--Of a thousand in one--Aah! Son of a belch, man.
She bit my thumb.
Oh, man! You bit aspartamay's thumb.
You made my thumb throb.
And now, you shall feel The wrath of a thousand And one black and white-- Hah, my sister has snatched Your brawny jewel! Waaa.
Ahh.
Ahh.
What is going on? You snatched His brawny jewel.
That was his life force.
So, now, aspartamay must die! Well, technically, He could reanimate, But it would take The combined powers Of all 99 mages And the blessings of-- He's gonna die.
He's just gonna die.
Aruthor, he won.
Now, can we go home? After we blow the horns Of our forefathers, symbolizing The vanquishment of-- We're going home.
I'll get the car.
You said There'd be soup here.
I lied.
Happy birthday.
Hey, wait up.