Jane the Virgin (2014) s04e06 Episode Script
Chapter Seventy
1 NARRATOR: Ah, friends, our Jane has been through so much.
She got married to Michael, but then he died.
And so she wrote a book about their love story, and it was going to be published.
So, great news there.
Plus, she reconnected with her very first love, Adam.
Less happy? Our Rafael.
After he lost all his money and was kicked out of the hotel, well, he hit a real low point.
I just want to step back.
(GRUNTS) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Luckily, Jane was there for him.
Not as lucky? His sister Luisa.
See, she thought she was going crazy because she was hallucinating some guy named Carl.
You see Carl here, right? No.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: So she checked herself into a psychiatric hospital.
But OMG! Carl was real.
See, Petra's twin sister, Anezka, and their mother, Magda, set Luisa up so they could assume control of the hotel.
In the event of her incapacitation, all her hotel shares go to Anezka.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I know.
Straight out of a telenovela, right? Well, imagine this.
Jane's father was a huge telenovela star, but he absolutely hated his costar, Fabian.
Luckily, Fabian was killed off their telenovela.
Which reminds me, I did say someone would die on ours.
When Jane Gloriana Villanueva was 14 years old, she was given a gift that would change her life.
I love The House on Mango Street so much.
What should I read next? Is it time? I think so.
We've been saving one of our favorite recommendations, and we think you're finally ready for Isabel Allende.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And, friends, as Jane tore through the trials of the Trueba family, she realized she wasn't the only one who saw the world a certain way.
It's called magical realism.
And there is a whole Latin American literary tradition to explore.
ENCHANTING MUSIC (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And explore, Jane did.
(SIGHS) Try this one.
Now this.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And over the years, as Jane read more and more stories, her world opened up.
And often, she felt inspired.
(SIGHS) Always write when the spirit moves you.
Also, as a sidenote, maybe it's time to have sex.
I mean, you are already pregnant.
(LAUGHS) But, until then, go on.
Write.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And so, yes, this bookstore always held a special place in Jane's heart.
Which is why When my book comes out, it would mean the world to me to have my launch party - here.
- Really? I can't imagine doing it anywhere else.
We'd be so honored! (ALL LAUGH) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which brings us here now.
RAFAEL: Oh, wow.
It's your book, Mommy! - It's finally here.
- Yeah.
(EXHALES SHAKILY) I'm a published freaking author! (ALL CHEER) Hey! (HUMMING) RAFAEL: You know Mateo can't read, right? Oh, he's not allowed to read my book till he's 25, anyway.
But, when that day comes, I think he's gonna be very touched that I wrote him a note that was so thoughtful and moving.
(RINGTONE PLAYS) PETRA: I need to vent.
Anezka's offering guests a discount for paying in cash.
RAFAEL: What? Why? So that she and my mother can pocket it.
They act like they're running a backroom poker game, not a hotel.
You have to help me get her out of here.
I'm sorry, but I'm not getting involved with the hotel right now.
What? Why not? Is Jane sitting right there? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, yes, the ghost of rivalries past.
This is my choice.
I've decided I'm letting the hotel go until Luisa is better, and then we'll see where we're at.
Your sister hallucinated a person.
She could be in the mental institution for months.
I just need to step away for my own well-being.
Ugh, you need to get out of the Villanueva house.
Everything okay? Well, my sister's shares have reverted back to a lunatic who's running the hotel I built into the ground, and I can't even go inside to see my children.
Remind me why I need to let go.
Because lying and sneaking around got you thrown in jail in the past and run over by a car in the present, so we need to protect the future.
Not just for you, but for your children, who need you as a role model.
Wow.
Guilt plus scare tactics.
Well done.
Thank you.
And, not to pile on, but seeing as you're stepping back until Luisa is declared mentally competent Which could take months Why not put out some job feelers? What? Just to take off the financial pressure until everything's sorted out.
(SPUTTERS) Plus, it'll give you something to do.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And get you out of the house.
Yeah.
Why not? Maybe I could consult somewhere.
Exactly.
Like a boutique hotel.
That could be kind of cool.
JANE: Great.
This note's everything.
(GIGGLES) I still can't believe it.
In hardcover.
(GASPS) The new Angelique Harper? And a hardcover.
How decadent.
You okay? Yeah.
Just taking it in.
Overwhelmed.
And how about that cover? Stop, this isn't about me.
You're a published author.
I'm a published author! Salsa Okay, okay, fine, fine.
I'll autograph your copy.
Do your thing.
Yes.
- That is you and me.
- Aw.
I'm the one with the longer hair.
(CHUCKLES) Hey, so, how's that party coming? Any agents RSVP yet? Yes, two so far.
Plus Caridad Piñeiro, who is, like, the queen of the Latina romance world.
And I sent a very carefully crafted tweet about the party to Isabel Allende.
Who? (WHISPERING) What? She is, like, my favorite author of all time.
She's, like, my Stan Lee.
- Ah.
Wow.
- Mm-hmm.
What did you tweet? (SIGHS) Oh.
It-it may have gone on a little long, but you get the point.
I invited her to the party.
I am so proud of you.
I love you.
I love you, too.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah, that didn't really happen.
Thanks.
I'm kind of proud of me, too.
JANE: I can't believe I almost said "I love you.
" I don't know what came over me.
Sounds like love came over you.
No.
No, no, no, no.
It is way too early.
Uh, I think I just got swept up with excitement about my book.
A-And he was so sweet about my party.
I'm not ready to use the "L" word.
MAGDA: Lakomy.
Velmi lakomy.
I'm not being stingy because I refuse to let you skim cash off the bookings.
Okay.
Let's take a vote.
Who is for cash discounts? Oh, wait, I control two-thirds of hotel.
Two to one.
I win again.
MAGDA: Perfect.
Anezka, double the nightly rate.
You can't just double a hotel rate.
- There are price points.
- Oh.
Speaking of price points, ours has gone up.
If you want us to walk away, we will need ten million.
I don't have that kind of cash.
Well, I guess you're just going to have to book a lot of expensive rooms.
(LAUGHS QUIETLY) This plan makes no sense.
We just had termites.
Bookings are down.
We're trying to bring people here, not drive them away.
You don't have to go along with her.
You're the one in charge of the hotel.
Not her.
Yes.
I am in charge.
That is why I have new business shoes.
And I trust Mother.
It is like I am queen, and she is my hand.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Well, more like your hook.
I never thought that I'd miss having Luisa in charge.
MAGDA: Oh, really? And did Luisa tell you she wanted to sell the hotel to get enough money to break her crime lord girlfriend out of jail? (GASPS) What happened? Oh, uh, t-the villain did something really bad.
So sorry I'm late.
Did Teresa finally tell Elena that Rodrigo was really Juan Carlos in a bad wig? I actually don't mind the wig, but no.
She decided to keep it a secret to use as leverage for when Raul reveals that he's not actually dead.
Classic.
Come on, Mateo.
You're coming to my house.
Okay, I'm off to drop signed copies of my book to the bookstore because I am a published author.
LATIN MUSIC (CRIES OUT) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Look at her.
Nothing can shake that smile.
Oh, dear.
Looks like the bottom fell out of her plans.
Ah! LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, come on, universe.
That's a little on the nose.
Hey, guys.
What's going on with the store? Oh, no.
- I can't believe it.
- In all the chaos, I-I just forgot.
- Well, what happened? - Our building was sold, and the new landlord raised the rent.
- We can't afford it.
- Wha? We've been praying for a miracle, but JANE: No one knows they're there anymore.
I mean, more of us buy our books online.
No one goes to the bookstores.
Oh, it's just so sad.
That little place is so magical, and it's the only bilingual bookstore in the neighborhood.
Sorry, hon.
- What about your party, though? (SIGHS) Well, I'll just have to go with Plan B, I guess.
I'll have it at the publisher's office.
(GASPS) Plan B? More like Plan Blech.
Office parties are so sad.
All the fluorescent lighting.
Sheet cake.
And all the cubicles decorated with pictures of people's sad, sad children.
NARRATOR: FYI Rogelio had a brief office job in 1998.
It still haunts him.
It'll be fine, Dad.
Come on, Mr.
Sweetface! It's been five minutes.
- Time to go.
- MATEO: (SHOUTING) No! (MUMBLES) - I have the most amazing idea.
- You're not recreating the bookstore on the set of your telenovela.
- Why not? - Because when you recreated the house for Jane's wedding, it cost you 50 grand.
We don't have that kind of money right now.
The rent on our house Our gorgeous waterfront mansion, you mean.
is exorbitant.
Jane will be fine.
- She's a grown woman.
- But it's my duty - as her father - Rogelio, if you build that bookstore, plan on moving into it.
No sulking.
Go to work.
You're gonna be late for your fitting.
Oh.
Good afternoon, ex-costar.
You must be here for your funeral fitting.
How is civilian life as number none on the call sheet treating you? Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.
Hmm.
Now that you got what you wanted I'm wondering if you can find it in your heart to give me what I want.
A dignified farewell scene.
But you are already dead.
Not if I come back as a ghost.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh.
Like in Our Town, when Emily appears as a ghost at her own funeral.
Oh.
Like Amor en la Familia, when Matias comes back from the dead to kill his stepbrother because he slept with his father.
- NARRATOR: Or that.
- Exactly! Just one scene.
I'll come to my funeral at full size, and make a short but impassioned speech about the preciousness of life.
I'm up for a movie, and I'm looking for something dramatic for my reading.
You know, to show my range.
Come on, sexpot to sexpot can you help me? After all that you have done to try to destroy my life and sully my daughter, how dare you come and beg for more screen time! I hope you never work in this town again.
JANE: That's it, huh? Yeah.
My headhunter said the same thing.
I got to figure out a way to beef it up a bit.
It's not quantity, it's quality.
Plus, he says they'll run a background check, and my criminal record doesn't help.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I mean, I could have told you that.
You just got to keep pounding the pavement.
- You'll find something.
- I hope so.
JANE: It says that you're analytic, fair-minded, result-oriented, and incredibly sexy.
Okay.
(TAPS KEYBOARD) Just joined LinkedIn.
- No! No, no, not LinkedIn.
- What's wrong with it? Oh, when you sign up, it e-mails everyone in your whole address book for, like, eternity.
No, that can't be true.
PETRA: LinkedIn? Are you serious? I didn't know.
I'm sorry.
Where are the girls? On their way with their nanny.
And you should be working here.
My mother is a horror show.
We've been losing bookings left and right.
You think I don't want to be near my kids? You think it's easy for me to watch your mother and sister run our hotel into the ground? Then let's come up with a plan.
Our last plan left me with three broken ribs.
I am done scheming.
I am looking for a short-term job.
NARRATOR: Pro tip leave "short-term" off your résumé.
Okay so what if the Marbella hires you? As our general manager.
What? We need one.
You know the place.
Why work somewhere else? You'll see the girls.
You'll be able to help out with the hotel.
Magda will never go for it.
Let me at least try.
Absolutely not.
Why would I do that? To make the hotel profitable.
Rafael's the only person who knows this place as well as I do.
Without him around to keep things running smoothly, there is no way I can get you that money.
Trust me.
All I want is for you to leave.
Fine.
I will take a meeting with him.
LUISA: Carl is real, and he uses an inhaler.
SUSPENS MUSIC ANEZKA: Someone's clumsy.
Those shoes are ridiculous.
KRISHNA: But a lot of people have asthma.
Well, my mother doesn't.
And neither does Anezka.
Yeah, look, it's a long shot.
Just show me the footage.
What time did you overhear my mother and sister talking about Luisa? Close to midnight.
I remember because I looked at my watch, and I thought, "This is no way to live.
" Okay.
Good, good.
Go to 11:45.
Okay, now scroll through slowly till midnight.
Wait.
That's Luisa.
It has to be.
(GASPS SOFTLY) NARRATOR: Is it me, or does that shadow totally have asthma? Oh, my God.
Carl is real.
They must have wanted you to overhear them talking about Luisa being insane They were setting you up! Well, and if Carl is real, that means Luisa's in a mental institution for nothing, right? Well No, Well, not for nothing she was still trying to break a mass murderer out of jail.
That's legitimately crazy, right? But not hallucination crazy.
Which means I have to tell Raf, don't I? And I will.
Very shortly.
But first I'm gonna use this to get rid of my mother, and you're gonna help me do it.
Mrs.
Solano This is way beyond the scope of my job.
So I'm gonna need a raise.
ROGELIO: It's done.
The bookstore is staying open.
Jane, update your paperless post.
Your dream party is back on track.
I took care of everything.
So call me back.
I love you.
Took care of everything? How? Remember when I was in People en Español's "50 Most Beautiful" list? You've mentioned it once or twice.
NARRATOR: A day.
Well, I stayed friends with the editor, Arianna, and she's going to do a feature on the party.
That will bring the store tons of exposure, attention, and, in the words of Abba, - "Money, money, money.
" - What? I told her everything Jane said about what the community will gain by having a physical space to shop, how the Internet is ruining us all, uh, bilingual bookstores, blah, blah, blah, and she said there's a story there! But what does that have to do with Alexandro and Enrique's lease? Press plus celeb photos equals business.
And what if your calculation doesn't add up? It will.
Trust me.
And I cosigned the lease on the bookstore, just to make everyone comfortable.
So if they can't pay their rent, we'll be responsible for it? Yes, but, Xiomara, I know how press works.
Trust me, after the party, that couple will be looking to expand, they'll have so much business.
MAGDA: Let's talk business.
Did you cut the legs off this chair? Few inches.
It's an old Czech intimidation technique.
So, I see you've spent time in prison.
I like that.
Shows you can get scrappy.
Okay.
Great.
So I'm hired? Yes.
But not as general manager.
A bartender? Apparently, the Prague pirate doesn't think I have the experience to manage the hotel that I founded.
She's just doing this to humiliate me.
Yeah, and so what if she is? Look, if you take the job, you'll be able to keep an eye on the hotel, you'll be close to the twins, you can help Petra - when a crisis comes up - I can help Petra by being the manager of the Marbella.
I am not some bartender.
What's the alternative? You're gonna work the front desk at the Holiday Inn? NARRATOR: Between you and me, he didn't get that job.
You got to get over yourself.
It's a job.
You're broke.
Okay.
You're right.
Huh! That was quick.
Oh, we're in a groove.
Oh, great! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date.
Are you stealing food from the kitchen? Perks of management.
- MAN: Hold the elevator.
- Oh.
(JANE CHUCKLES) Hold the elevator! Okay.
(BELL DINGS) So, my publisher set up a mini book tour - for me next week.
- Wow.
Fancy.
I might have oversold it.
Two stops, both in Florida.
Ow.
Still pretty bad-ass.
Agreed.
(LAUGHS) Anyway, um I was wondering if you wanted to come.
W-We can make it into a little road trip.
Make a playlist, eat fast food.
Huh? Maybe go wild and get a speeding ticket.
- Really? - Okay, no speeding ticket.
You want me to come? Yeah.
Because I love you.
NARRATOR: Again that didn't happen.
Here's what Jane really said.
Yeah, it'd be fun.
- Let me just look at my deadlines.
- Of course.
JANE: I can't believe I almost said "I love you" again.
XIOMARA: You're obviously feeling it.
Why not say it? Because I don't know if I'm really in love.
And I don't know if he loves me back.
ROGELIO: That's ludicrous.
Anyone with a pulse will love you back.
I-I got to go, Mom.
I'll talk to you later.
It's impossible not to love you.
Everyone loves you, Jane.
Rudy! How much do you love Jane? Uh, a lot? - Exactly.
- Okay! So, um, my publishers e-mailed me, and apparently, they reached out to Arianna a few times, and she hasn't returned their calls.
- What? - I know.
Weird, right? Maybe you can ask her to call them back.
Arianna's not gonna call them back.
And she's definitely not gonna write a feature - on your book party.
- What? Why? Because I told her I'd appreciate it if she didn't.
And why would she listen to you, peasant?! Maybe because I'm making sweet love to her.
(TIRES SCREECH) Oh! Oh! Look who else just got screwed! How did you know about any of this? Well, the walls between our dressing rooms are quite thin.
And since I was in People en Español's "30 Under 30" this year, I happen to know Arianna quite well.
"30 Under 30" means nothing compared to "50 Most Beautiful People!" I was in high school when you did that! JANE: Stop! I can't believe this.
How come you just can't mind your own business? Maybe you should have your father explain that to his friend Judy? Judy was a spur-of-the-moment impulse that paid off mightily.
But you planned this.
You found out I needed a favor from this woman, so you seduced her, and got inside of her head.
- You're good.
- JANE: You're disgusting.
So I assume you'll get Arianna back on the story if I get you your pretentious ghost monologue? Bingo.
Fine.
I'll get the writers on it.
NARRATOR: What would a ghost even say? FABIAN: Not good enough.
I want you to write it.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, boo.
Why do you have to write it? Fabian says it's because I wrote the monologue that got Dad a Paloma nomination, but I think it's just to torture us both.
Ugh! If your father hadn't co-signed the lease on the bookstore, you wouldn't be in this position.
It's fine.
I'm almost done.
And it's actually pretty good, you know, for a ghost soliloquy.
I mean, I avoided all the obvious clichés.
Still, it's just so outrageous.
Are you okay, Ma? Because Dad does this kind of stuff all the time.
You know the guy likes to go big.
You know that.
It's just What? My dance studio hasn't been doing so great.
Oh, no.
And I wanted to talk to your father about putting some money there.
How bad is it? I just need a little cash infusion, but it's not like banks are lining up to lend money to struggling local dance studios.
And our monthly budget is stretched as it is because of the rent on our giant house.
Ma, don't stress.
Dad won't have to use this money.
I'll get Fabian the monologue ASAP.
He'll love it.
It's perfect for him.
Super dramatic, you know? So he can do his over-the-top acting.
I just can't do it anymore, Krishna! I just feel too guilty.
NARRATOR: Speaking of over-the-top-acting Anybody would.
You've been lying for a long time.
Look, you don't have to remind me! It's my mother's fault.
She said we should use Anezka as a pawn.
(GASPS) It's not true.
I am so sorry.
I was going to tell you.
I (STAMMERS) I-I feel badly.
But I knew Luisa wouldn't trust me, and Mother suggested using you.
No.
You're lying.
No, I'm not.
You know what? Let's go.
We'll confront her together.
That is not true, Anezka.
She is lying.
Mother, stop.
I told her already.
MAGDA: I am not working with Petra.
Don't be stupid.
She's not stupid! She just didn't think her mother could be so cruel.
- Don't let her use you anymore.
She's a liar.
You know this.
This is the same woman who abandoned you because she said you weren't the pretty one.
She's just trying to get into your head.
I'm not trying to get into anyone's head.
I just don't want to keep deceiving my sister.
And I know this was my idea, but I realized something: you're the evil one, not her.
This is absurd.
She has no proof.
Oh, yeah? Then how would I know Carl is real? I'm done, Mother.
RAFAEL: I can't believe this.
Queen Magda has me scheduled for a shift tonight during your book party, and she won't let me out of it.
It's okay.
I understand.
That's the way it is when you have a regular job.
I bet I can duck out for, like, an hour.
Stop.
It's so not a big deal.
I'll give you a play-by-play.
Okay, well, have fun tonight.
She seemed cool.
Not bummed like, at all.
XIOMARA: I just hope Jane's books sell, or Rogelio will buy up every last copy, and then order a thousand more online.
This about the lease? NARRATOR: Well, look who's become one of the girls.
He goes so overboard, especially when it comes to Jane.
Maybe it's a guy thing.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Or not.
I'm not saying that it's okay, just that it's this feeling.
You know, like you have to provide.
And it's so easy to lose perspective and go overboard.
Look at everything I did to try to get the Marbella back.
And I'd still do anything for my family, even wear a silk screen bow tie.
Okay, next time you see me, I might be quitting, because this book party might just launch my career.
(LAUGHING) This monologue is a stinky piece of garbage, and I hardly understand it! It's like I'm falling for you all over again.
You need to fix this right now! They are filming my coverage tonight! Sorry.
Any rewrite's gonna have to wait.
My book party's in a few hours.
(SQUEALS) Well, if you don't do the rewrite right now, you can kiss the People en Español article bye-bye-bye.
What? No, no, you can't do that to me.
(GROANS) ANEZKA: I can't do this anymore! I don't know who to believe.
You were the only one who really loved me.
I wish you were here to guide me.
I wish I could be kissing your face and your beard.
Both beard.
If you'd just send me a sign Yes, you're right, I should have a drink.
Maybe little snack, too.
- Can we get more nuts here? - NARRATOR: I don't think so.
It's already pretty crazy.
Oh, actual nuts.
Meh.
Meh? What-what does "meh" mean? It means "ugh, bleh," or (BLOWS) Charming.
It needs more pizzazz, more sparkle.
It needs to be more flowery.
Okay, flowery.
Fine.
I can do flowery.
Flowery is my specialty.
Now it has too many describey words.
Adjectives? No, words that describe other words.
You said you wanted flowery.
Yes, but not so flowery.
If I hand you a bouquet of flowers, you will smile.
But if I hand you a thousand flowers, you will suffocate to death under the weight of all those flowers.
I'll make it less flowery, but we have to move fast here.
I have to pick up my dress from the dry cleaner by 5:00.
- Well, now it's just boring.
- Ugh! I-I don't get it.
I-I don't understand what you want.
Okay, if I hand you a hundred flowers No, no.
No more flower analogies.
Just tell me what you want.
I want it to be epic! I want people to weep.
I want them to feel sorry for taking me for granted! Because they won't realize until I'm gone how much they really loved me.
JANE: Honestly, Fabian, I tried everything.
I just feel like we're going in circles here.
I-I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
(GASPS) Yes! That! That's excellent writing! - I want those words in my speech.
- You want "The light at the end of the tunnel" in your monologue? Yes.
It's such a nice image.
Clean, original, specific.
No adjectives.
Hmm.
Okay.
Do you also like, "Until my death we were two peas in a pod"? Yes! Peas in a pod! Another great image.
Now you're getting it! NARRATOR: And in that moment, Jane realized exactly the kind of speech Fabian wanted.
And friends, I don't think Jane would mind me saying that what she wrote was as hackey a monologue as the world has ever seen.
Riddled with every cliché she could think of.
It's perfect.
Oh, thank God for small favors.
You are on fire! It's exactly like God has done me a small favor.
I knew you were a great writer, but this this, I-I - Takes the cake? - Yes! Exactly! - NARRATOR: Enough with the clichés! - Great! So you're gonna call Arianna, make sure she's at the party? Yes! I'll call her right away.
Now go, or as you so beautifully put it, "Haste makes waste!" No.
Ma, stop.
I don't have time for smoky eyes.
- Where's the sitter? - Inhala, exhala, Jane.
(DOORBELL RINGS) That must be her.
- This is so pretty.
Can I wear it? - Of course you can.
Bling! (RINGTONE PLAYS) Oh.
I'm running late so I can't talk, but I will see you at the party in 20.
ADAM: Wait.
Wait.
Bad news.
I just got slammed with notes, and they pulled my deadline up.
What? ADAM: Yeah.
I have to turn in the panels tonight, so I can't make it to your party.
I'm so sorry.
No, I get it.
Hey, don't even worry about it.
It's all good.
Have a great night, Jane.
You deserve it.
Thanks.
- Adam can't come.
Work.
- Mm.
It's fine.
Rafael can't come, either.
I mean, that's the one that really stings because he told me to write the book, you know? - Aw.
- Why "aw"? What? Well, I just didn't want to make him feel bad.
(SIGHS) NARRATOR: Aw, he definitely does look a little bummed.
JANE: Can I get a rum and Coke, please? Wow.
You look great.
You, too.
Cute outfit.
So, what are you doing here? Isn't your party starting, like seven minutes ago? Ugh! Rum and Cherry Coke? Oh, I'm still figuring out the soda gun.
(LAUGHS) Well, I just wanted to tell you that I'm really bummed you can't come tonight.
Really? Mm-hmm.
I'll quit.
You're not you're not quitting.
But I just wanted you to know that.
And I wanted you to see the acknowledgements.
To Michael? No, that's the dedication.
The acknowledgements are in the back.
Wow.
- Are you gonna cry? - What? No.
It's sweat.
Bartenders don't cry.
(LAUGHS) Now go.
Okay? Enjoy your party.
(EXHALES) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which brings us here, now.
SOFT GUITAR (EXHALES) (EXHALES) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) ENRIQUE: Jane! The store hasn't been this crowded - in years! - Yesterday, we couldn't even afford a tiny ad, and now we are getting a feature in People en Español! (ALL LAUGHING) - It's perfect! - Aw! FABIAN: Jane! LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Almost perfect.
- Uh-uh.
- Oh.
What are you doing here? Huh? Aren't you supposed to be shooting your ghost monologue? I snuck away from set and told the director I was going 10-2.
It is way too late for another rewrite.
No, no, the monologue is perfect.
But Arianna's not coming.
- What? - She saw a picture of me online with another lover, and now she wants nothing to do with me.
I'm so sorry.
Why would you post something like that? I didn't! I was tagged.
NARRATOR: Ugh, I've been there, buddy.
Oh, no.
Oh, my After all that work? What am I supposed to tell Alejandro and Enrique? I will make it up to you, Jane.
I promise.
I'm gonna start a category 7 tweetstorm for all the fans and telenovela stars to come down here immediately.
- That will get instant publicity.
- Not enough.
Do not underestimate the power of my shirtlessness.
No, this is an emergency.
I'm going to go completely naked and cover my precious junk with your precious book.
I may need two.
- Ay.
- Where's the bathroom? What did the featherbed want? Arianna's not coming.
I will kill him, in real life this time! Dad, no.
It's not his fault.
Of course it is.
No, it's not.
It's yours.
I'm sorry, but it is because of you that we are in this situation.
You're on the hook for the lease.
Mom is gonna be furious.
And the bookstore is not gonna get the press that they need.
All because you wanted to swoop in with your ridiculous scheme to be a hero, when I could've just easily had the party at the publisher's office.
I just wanted you to have the book party of your dreams.
I know.
But why do you always have to go too far, Dad? Huh? I guess I overcompensate.
I mean, I-I wasn't around when you were a kid Seriously, this can't be your excuse anymore.
We're beyond it.
You didn't even know I'd been born! How can you blame yourself for something that you didn't even know happened? Because maybe I did know.
What? I mean, I didn't know.
But a part of me I don't know Always suspected, maybe I mean, I-I knew how religious Alba was.
And-and maybe I didn't ever call your mom because I didn't want to know.
In case.
I-I had dreams, ambitions.
Do you hate me? You were 16.
I get it.
- Really? - I mean, I wish you'd called.
Because I would have found you sooner.
But everything happens for a reason, right? And I like where we're at now.
So let's just keep moving forward and not keep coming back to this.
NARRATOR: And in that moment, Rogelio let the ghost of his past go.
- Thank you, Jane.
- Mm-hmm.
Now go take care of your adoring fans.
(EXHALES) And remember what I taught you about selfie angles.
Chin down, camera up.
(CHUCKLES) First, I have to break the news to Alejandro and Enrique.
(SIGHS) (GASPS) Do I know you? (WHISPERS): Oh, my God.
You're real.
(CHUCKLES) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Come on, Jane, use your words.
I'm sorry.
I'm overwhelmed because you're, like, my favorite author of all time, and you're actually standing here.
And, I mean, for years, I sat in that very corner and I read every single one of your books, and NARRATOR: Okay, maybe use less words.
It just feels so magical that you actually saw my tweets and came.
NARRATOR: To clarify, she didn't see Jane's tweets.
She saw these Your book means everything to me.
The House of the Spirits? Well, I loved that one, yes.
Um, but I was talking about Paula.
It helped me through my grief, when my husband died.
I'm so sorry.
When was that? Uh, four years ago.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
It's-it's the combination of feeling him everywhere tonight.
And you actually being here feels like well like magical realism.
Well, writing helped me through my grief, too.
There's light at the end of the tunnel, I promise.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Man, when she says it, it sounds brand-new.
Sometimes I just feel so guilty.
Telling your story doesn't betray the memory It keeps the spirits alive.
About living, I mean.
Being joyful, when he's not here to share it with me.
How can I be happy or in love? I write about strong women with passionate hearts.
It's all about the heart.
It's what drives us and Determines your fate.
I'm sorry, I've seen your TED Talk, like, a million times.
NARRATOR: Back off, stalker.
Well, magical realism can work both ways.
You are mine.
You are the reader I always imagined.
Let yourself enjoy your success.
Just live passionately, love passionately.
- NARRATOR: Which brings us here.
- The whole thing was perfect.
I did a reading, I sold 67 books, and Isabel Allende was there.
- Wow.
- And she was everything I imagined her to be.
And she made me realize that I have to tell you something.
And you might freak out, because you might not be ready (STAMMERS) but I have to live passionately and so what what is wrong? (CHUCKLES) (SHUDDERING BREATH) I'm moving to L.
A.
What? The VFX house that wanted to hire me a couple months ago, they-they contacted me again.
I said no, but they came back with an even bigger offer.
When? Earlier today, before your party.
I'm sorry.
I just have to take it.
You don't have to take it.
You want to.
Is that why you didn't come tonight? I didn't want to be in all your pictures.
I'm so sorry.
It's just watching what you've been experiencing the past few weeks, your dreams coming to life, it it just, it made me want to pursue my own dreams.
Good luck in L.
A.
I just feel so stupid.
No, Jane.
I can't believe I almost told him I loved him.
I can't believe I did love him.
(SNIFFLES) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And just then, she had a thought ¿Qué? Nothing.
I just I just realized I didn't think, after Michael, I could ever have my heart broken.
So there's that, at least.
(CRYING) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, a small light at the end of the tunnel after all.
How's Jane? She's actually doing okay.
Good.
I wanted to apologize.
I shouldn't have cosigned their lease.
It's fine.
I know you were just trying to take care of your family.
I was.
Luckily, Isabel Allende bought a first edition book, which paid for almost all their rent.
Wow.
That's lucky.
NARRATOR: Or magical.
But you just can't keep doing these giant things for Jane.
I know.
And I had a breakthrough, actually.
I was talking to Jane, and it goes back to when you were pregnant and a small part of me wondered if you'd - kept the baby, and that's - What?! A very small part.
I just meant I couldn't rule it out.
Jane wasn't mad.
She understood.
Jane hasn't been beating herself up for the last five years since you showed up.
You made me feel so guilty! NARRATOR: Yeah, not quite the reaction he was hoping for.
No, no, no, no.
It-it wasn't like that.
- I don't want to hear it.
- Xo, please I need some space.
(KEYS JANGLE) RAFAEL: You look like you could use a drink.
Thanks.
It's been a little rough around here.
But I think I've got my sister handled.
And let's just say I don't think you're going to be a bartender forever.
I've been working on I don't want to know the details.
But if anyone can do it, you can.
(WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY) Stay here.
DRAMATIC MUSIC LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Whoa.
She looks like she's seen a ghost.
- EMT: Back away! - EMT 2: Make room! NARRATOR: I'll give you a little clue, friends.
She didn't kill herself.
She got married to Michael, but then he died.
And so she wrote a book about their love story, and it was going to be published.
So, great news there.
Plus, she reconnected with her very first love, Adam.
Less happy? Our Rafael.
After he lost all his money and was kicked out of the hotel, well, he hit a real low point.
I just want to step back.
(GRUNTS) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Luckily, Jane was there for him.
Not as lucky? His sister Luisa.
See, she thought she was going crazy because she was hallucinating some guy named Carl.
You see Carl here, right? No.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: So she checked herself into a psychiatric hospital.
But OMG! Carl was real.
See, Petra's twin sister, Anezka, and their mother, Magda, set Luisa up so they could assume control of the hotel.
In the event of her incapacitation, all her hotel shares go to Anezka.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I know.
Straight out of a telenovela, right? Well, imagine this.
Jane's father was a huge telenovela star, but he absolutely hated his costar, Fabian.
Luckily, Fabian was killed off their telenovela.
Which reminds me, I did say someone would die on ours.
When Jane Gloriana Villanueva was 14 years old, she was given a gift that would change her life.
I love The House on Mango Street so much.
What should I read next? Is it time? I think so.
We've been saving one of our favorite recommendations, and we think you're finally ready for Isabel Allende.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And, friends, as Jane tore through the trials of the Trueba family, she realized she wasn't the only one who saw the world a certain way.
It's called magical realism.
And there is a whole Latin American literary tradition to explore.
ENCHANTING MUSIC (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And explore, Jane did.
(SIGHS) Try this one.
Now this.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And over the years, as Jane read more and more stories, her world opened up.
And often, she felt inspired.
(SIGHS) Always write when the spirit moves you.
Also, as a sidenote, maybe it's time to have sex.
I mean, you are already pregnant.
(LAUGHS) But, until then, go on.
Write.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And so, yes, this bookstore always held a special place in Jane's heart.
Which is why When my book comes out, it would mean the world to me to have my launch party - here.
- Really? I can't imagine doing it anywhere else.
We'd be so honored! (ALL LAUGH) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which brings us here now.
RAFAEL: Oh, wow.
It's your book, Mommy! - It's finally here.
- Yeah.
(EXHALES SHAKILY) I'm a published freaking author! (ALL CHEER) Hey! (HUMMING) RAFAEL: You know Mateo can't read, right? Oh, he's not allowed to read my book till he's 25, anyway.
But, when that day comes, I think he's gonna be very touched that I wrote him a note that was so thoughtful and moving.
(RINGTONE PLAYS) PETRA: I need to vent.
Anezka's offering guests a discount for paying in cash.
RAFAEL: What? Why? So that she and my mother can pocket it.
They act like they're running a backroom poker game, not a hotel.
You have to help me get her out of here.
I'm sorry, but I'm not getting involved with the hotel right now.
What? Why not? Is Jane sitting right there? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, yes, the ghost of rivalries past.
This is my choice.
I've decided I'm letting the hotel go until Luisa is better, and then we'll see where we're at.
Your sister hallucinated a person.
She could be in the mental institution for months.
I just need to step away for my own well-being.
Ugh, you need to get out of the Villanueva house.
Everything okay? Well, my sister's shares have reverted back to a lunatic who's running the hotel I built into the ground, and I can't even go inside to see my children.
Remind me why I need to let go.
Because lying and sneaking around got you thrown in jail in the past and run over by a car in the present, so we need to protect the future.
Not just for you, but for your children, who need you as a role model.
Wow.
Guilt plus scare tactics.
Well done.
Thank you.
And, not to pile on, but seeing as you're stepping back until Luisa is declared mentally competent Which could take months Why not put out some job feelers? What? Just to take off the financial pressure until everything's sorted out.
(SPUTTERS) Plus, it'll give you something to do.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And get you out of the house.
Yeah.
Why not? Maybe I could consult somewhere.
Exactly.
Like a boutique hotel.
That could be kind of cool.
JANE: Great.
This note's everything.
(GIGGLES) I still can't believe it.
In hardcover.
(GASPS) The new Angelique Harper? And a hardcover.
How decadent.
You okay? Yeah.
Just taking it in.
Overwhelmed.
And how about that cover? Stop, this isn't about me.
You're a published author.
I'm a published author! Salsa Okay, okay, fine, fine.
I'll autograph your copy.
Do your thing.
Yes.
- That is you and me.
- Aw.
I'm the one with the longer hair.
(CHUCKLES) Hey, so, how's that party coming? Any agents RSVP yet? Yes, two so far.
Plus Caridad Piñeiro, who is, like, the queen of the Latina romance world.
And I sent a very carefully crafted tweet about the party to Isabel Allende.
Who? (WHISPERING) What? She is, like, my favorite author of all time.
She's, like, my Stan Lee.
- Ah.
Wow.
- Mm-hmm.
What did you tweet? (SIGHS) Oh.
It-it may have gone on a little long, but you get the point.
I invited her to the party.
I am so proud of you.
I love you.
I love you, too.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah, that didn't really happen.
Thanks.
I'm kind of proud of me, too.
JANE: I can't believe I almost said "I love you.
" I don't know what came over me.
Sounds like love came over you.
No.
No, no, no, no.
It is way too early.
Uh, I think I just got swept up with excitement about my book.
A-And he was so sweet about my party.
I'm not ready to use the "L" word.
MAGDA: Lakomy.
Velmi lakomy.
I'm not being stingy because I refuse to let you skim cash off the bookings.
Okay.
Let's take a vote.
Who is for cash discounts? Oh, wait, I control two-thirds of hotel.
Two to one.
I win again.
MAGDA: Perfect.
Anezka, double the nightly rate.
You can't just double a hotel rate.
- There are price points.
- Oh.
Speaking of price points, ours has gone up.
If you want us to walk away, we will need ten million.
I don't have that kind of cash.
Well, I guess you're just going to have to book a lot of expensive rooms.
(LAUGHS QUIETLY) This plan makes no sense.
We just had termites.
Bookings are down.
We're trying to bring people here, not drive them away.
You don't have to go along with her.
You're the one in charge of the hotel.
Not her.
Yes.
I am in charge.
That is why I have new business shoes.
And I trust Mother.
It is like I am queen, and she is my hand.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Well, more like your hook.
I never thought that I'd miss having Luisa in charge.
MAGDA: Oh, really? And did Luisa tell you she wanted to sell the hotel to get enough money to break her crime lord girlfriend out of jail? (GASPS) What happened? Oh, uh, t-the villain did something really bad.
So sorry I'm late.
Did Teresa finally tell Elena that Rodrigo was really Juan Carlos in a bad wig? I actually don't mind the wig, but no.
She decided to keep it a secret to use as leverage for when Raul reveals that he's not actually dead.
Classic.
Come on, Mateo.
You're coming to my house.
Okay, I'm off to drop signed copies of my book to the bookstore because I am a published author.
LATIN MUSIC (CRIES OUT) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Look at her.
Nothing can shake that smile.
Oh, dear.
Looks like the bottom fell out of her plans.
Ah! LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, come on, universe.
That's a little on the nose.
Hey, guys.
What's going on with the store? Oh, no.
- I can't believe it.
- In all the chaos, I-I just forgot.
- Well, what happened? - Our building was sold, and the new landlord raised the rent.
- We can't afford it.
- Wha? We've been praying for a miracle, but JANE: No one knows they're there anymore.
I mean, more of us buy our books online.
No one goes to the bookstores.
Oh, it's just so sad.
That little place is so magical, and it's the only bilingual bookstore in the neighborhood.
Sorry, hon.
- What about your party, though? (SIGHS) Well, I'll just have to go with Plan B, I guess.
I'll have it at the publisher's office.
(GASPS) Plan B? More like Plan Blech.
Office parties are so sad.
All the fluorescent lighting.
Sheet cake.
And all the cubicles decorated with pictures of people's sad, sad children.
NARRATOR: FYI Rogelio had a brief office job in 1998.
It still haunts him.
It'll be fine, Dad.
Come on, Mr.
Sweetface! It's been five minutes.
- Time to go.
- MATEO: (SHOUTING) No! (MUMBLES) - I have the most amazing idea.
- You're not recreating the bookstore on the set of your telenovela.
- Why not? - Because when you recreated the house for Jane's wedding, it cost you 50 grand.
We don't have that kind of money right now.
The rent on our house Our gorgeous waterfront mansion, you mean.
is exorbitant.
Jane will be fine.
- She's a grown woman.
- But it's my duty - as her father - Rogelio, if you build that bookstore, plan on moving into it.
No sulking.
Go to work.
You're gonna be late for your fitting.
Oh.
Good afternoon, ex-costar.
You must be here for your funeral fitting.
How is civilian life as number none on the call sheet treating you? Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.
Hmm.
Now that you got what you wanted I'm wondering if you can find it in your heart to give me what I want.
A dignified farewell scene.
But you are already dead.
Not if I come back as a ghost.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh.
Like in Our Town, when Emily appears as a ghost at her own funeral.
Oh.
Like Amor en la Familia, when Matias comes back from the dead to kill his stepbrother because he slept with his father.
- NARRATOR: Or that.
- Exactly! Just one scene.
I'll come to my funeral at full size, and make a short but impassioned speech about the preciousness of life.
I'm up for a movie, and I'm looking for something dramatic for my reading.
You know, to show my range.
Come on, sexpot to sexpot can you help me? After all that you have done to try to destroy my life and sully my daughter, how dare you come and beg for more screen time! I hope you never work in this town again.
JANE: That's it, huh? Yeah.
My headhunter said the same thing.
I got to figure out a way to beef it up a bit.
It's not quantity, it's quality.
Plus, he says they'll run a background check, and my criminal record doesn't help.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I mean, I could have told you that.
You just got to keep pounding the pavement.
- You'll find something.
- I hope so.
JANE: It says that you're analytic, fair-minded, result-oriented, and incredibly sexy.
Okay.
(TAPS KEYBOARD) Just joined LinkedIn.
- No! No, no, not LinkedIn.
- What's wrong with it? Oh, when you sign up, it e-mails everyone in your whole address book for, like, eternity.
No, that can't be true.
PETRA: LinkedIn? Are you serious? I didn't know.
I'm sorry.
Where are the girls? On their way with their nanny.
And you should be working here.
My mother is a horror show.
We've been losing bookings left and right.
You think I don't want to be near my kids? You think it's easy for me to watch your mother and sister run our hotel into the ground? Then let's come up with a plan.
Our last plan left me with three broken ribs.
I am done scheming.
I am looking for a short-term job.
NARRATOR: Pro tip leave "short-term" off your résumé.
Okay so what if the Marbella hires you? As our general manager.
What? We need one.
You know the place.
Why work somewhere else? You'll see the girls.
You'll be able to help out with the hotel.
Magda will never go for it.
Let me at least try.
Absolutely not.
Why would I do that? To make the hotel profitable.
Rafael's the only person who knows this place as well as I do.
Without him around to keep things running smoothly, there is no way I can get you that money.
Trust me.
All I want is for you to leave.
Fine.
I will take a meeting with him.
LUISA: Carl is real, and he uses an inhaler.
SUSPENS MUSIC ANEZKA: Someone's clumsy.
Those shoes are ridiculous.
KRISHNA: But a lot of people have asthma.
Well, my mother doesn't.
And neither does Anezka.
Yeah, look, it's a long shot.
Just show me the footage.
What time did you overhear my mother and sister talking about Luisa? Close to midnight.
I remember because I looked at my watch, and I thought, "This is no way to live.
" Okay.
Good, good.
Go to 11:45.
Okay, now scroll through slowly till midnight.
Wait.
That's Luisa.
It has to be.
(GASPS SOFTLY) NARRATOR: Is it me, or does that shadow totally have asthma? Oh, my God.
Carl is real.
They must have wanted you to overhear them talking about Luisa being insane They were setting you up! Well, and if Carl is real, that means Luisa's in a mental institution for nothing, right? Well No, Well, not for nothing she was still trying to break a mass murderer out of jail.
That's legitimately crazy, right? But not hallucination crazy.
Which means I have to tell Raf, don't I? And I will.
Very shortly.
But first I'm gonna use this to get rid of my mother, and you're gonna help me do it.
Mrs.
Solano This is way beyond the scope of my job.
So I'm gonna need a raise.
ROGELIO: It's done.
The bookstore is staying open.
Jane, update your paperless post.
Your dream party is back on track.
I took care of everything.
So call me back.
I love you.
Took care of everything? How? Remember when I was in People en Español's "50 Most Beautiful" list? You've mentioned it once or twice.
NARRATOR: A day.
Well, I stayed friends with the editor, Arianna, and she's going to do a feature on the party.
That will bring the store tons of exposure, attention, and, in the words of Abba, - "Money, money, money.
" - What? I told her everything Jane said about what the community will gain by having a physical space to shop, how the Internet is ruining us all, uh, bilingual bookstores, blah, blah, blah, and she said there's a story there! But what does that have to do with Alexandro and Enrique's lease? Press plus celeb photos equals business.
And what if your calculation doesn't add up? It will.
Trust me.
And I cosigned the lease on the bookstore, just to make everyone comfortable.
So if they can't pay their rent, we'll be responsible for it? Yes, but, Xiomara, I know how press works.
Trust me, after the party, that couple will be looking to expand, they'll have so much business.
MAGDA: Let's talk business.
Did you cut the legs off this chair? Few inches.
It's an old Czech intimidation technique.
So, I see you've spent time in prison.
I like that.
Shows you can get scrappy.
Okay.
Great.
So I'm hired? Yes.
But not as general manager.
A bartender? Apparently, the Prague pirate doesn't think I have the experience to manage the hotel that I founded.
She's just doing this to humiliate me.
Yeah, and so what if she is? Look, if you take the job, you'll be able to keep an eye on the hotel, you'll be close to the twins, you can help Petra - when a crisis comes up - I can help Petra by being the manager of the Marbella.
I am not some bartender.
What's the alternative? You're gonna work the front desk at the Holiday Inn? NARRATOR: Between you and me, he didn't get that job.
You got to get over yourself.
It's a job.
You're broke.
Okay.
You're right.
Huh! That was quick.
Oh, we're in a groove.
Oh, great! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date.
Are you stealing food from the kitchen? Perks of management.
- MAN: Hold the elevator.
- Oh.
(JANE CHUCKLES) Hold the elevator! Okay.
(BELL DINGS) So, my publisher set up a mini book tour - for me next week.
- Wow.
Fancy.
I might have oversold it.
Two stops, both in Florida.
Ow.
Still pretty bad-ass.
Agreed.
(LAUGHS) Anyway, um I was wondering if you wanted to come.
W-We can make it into a little road trip.
Make a playlist, eat fast food.
Huh? Maybe go wild and get a speeding ticket.
- Really? - Okay, no speeding ticket.
You want me to come? Yeah.
Because I love you.
NARRATOR: Again that didn't happen.
Here's what Jane really said.
Yeah, it'd be fun.
- Let me just look at my deadlines.
- Of course.
JANE: I can't believe I almost said "I love you" again.
XIOMARA: You're obviously feeling it.
Why not say it? Because I don't know if I'm really in love.
And I don't know if he loves me back.
ROGELIO: That's ludicrous.
Anyone with a pulse will love you back.
I-I got to go, Mom.
I'll talk to you later.
It's impossible not to love you.
Everyone loves you, Jane.
Rudy! How much do you love Jane? Uh, a lot? - Exactly.
- Okay! So, um, my publishers e-mailed me, and apparently, they reached out to Arianna a few times, and she hasn't returned their calls.
- What? - I know.
Weird, right? Maybe you can ask her to call them back.
Arianna's not gonna call them back.
And she's definitely not gonna write a feature - on your book party.
- What? Why? Because I told her I'd appreciate it if she didn't.
And why would she listen to you, peasant?! Maybe because I'm making sweet love to her.
(TIRES SCREECH) Oh! Oh! Look who else just got screwed! How did you know about any of this? Well, the walls between our dressing rooms are quite thin.
And since I was in People en Español's "30 Under 30" this year, I happen to know Arianna quite well.
"30 Under 30" means nothing compared to "50 Most Beautiful People!" I was in high school when you did that! JANE: Stop! I can't believe this.
How come you just can't mind your own business? Maybe you should have your father explain that to his friend Judy? Judy was a spur-of-the-moment impulse that paid off mightily.
But you planned this.
You found out I needed a favor from this woman, so you seduced her, and got inside of her head.
- You're good.
- JANE: You're disgusting.
So I assume you'll get Arianna back on the story if I get you your pretentious ghost monologue? Bingo.
Fine.
I'll get the writers on it.
NARRATOR: What would a ghost even say? FABIAN: Not good enough.
I want you to write it.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, boo.
Why do you have to write it? Fabian says it's because I wrote the monologue that got Dad a Paloma nomination, but I think it's just to torture us both.
Ugh! If your father hadn't co-signed the lease on the bookstore, you wouldn't be in this position.
It's fine.
I'm almost done.
And it's actually pretty good, you know, for a ghost soliloquy.
I mean, I avoided all the obvious clichés.
Still, it's just so outrageous.
Are you okay, Ma? Because Dad does this kind of stuff all the time.
You know the guy likes to go big.
You know that.
It's just What? My dance studio hasn't been doing so great.
Oh, no.
And I wanted to talk to your father about putting some money there.
How bad is it? I just need a little cash infusion, but it's not like banks are lining up to lend money to struggling local dance studios.
And our monthly budget is stretched as it is because of the rent on our giant house.
Ma, don't stress.
Dad won't have to use this money.
I'll get Fabian the monologue ASAP.
He'll love it.
It's perfect for him.
Super dramatic, you know? So he can do his over-the-top acting.
I just can't do it anymore, Krishna! I just feel too guilty.
NARRATOR: Speaking of over-the-top-acting Anybody would.
You've been lying for a long time.
Look, you don't have to remind me! It's my mother's fault.
She said we should use Anezka as a pawn.
(GASPS) It's not true.
I am so sorry.
I was going to tell you.
I (STAMMERS) I-I feel badly.
But I knew Luisa wouldn't trust me, and Mother suggested using you.
No.
You're lying.
No, I'm not.
You know what? Let's go.
We'll confront her together.
That is not true, Anezka.
She is lying.
Mother, stop.
I told her already.
MAGDA: I am not working with Petra.
Don't be stupid.
She's not stupid! She just didn't think her mother could be so cruel.
- Don't let her use you anymore.
She's a liar.
You know this.
This is the same woman who abandoned you because she said you weren't the pretty one.
She's just trying to get into your head.
I'm not trying to get into anyone's head.
I just don't want to keep deceiving my sister.
And I know this was my idea, but I realized something: you're the evil one, not her.
This is absurd.
She has no proof.
Oh, yeah? Then how would I know Carl is real? I'm done, Mother.
RAFAEL: I can't believe this.
Queen Magda has me scheduled for a shift tonight during your book party, and she won't let me out of it.
It's okay.
I understand.
That's the way it is when you have a regular job.
I bet I can duck out for, like, an hour.
Stop.
It's so not a big deal.
I'll give you a play-by-play.
Okay, well, have fun tonight.
She seemed cool.
Not bummed like, at all.
XIOMARA: I just hope Jane's books sell, or Rogelio will buy up every last copy, and then order a thousand more online.
This about the lease? NARRATOR: Well, look who's become one of the girls.
He goes so overboard, especially when it comes to Jane.
Maybe it's a guy thing.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Or not.
I'm not saying that it's okay, just that it's this feeling.
You know, like you have to provide.
And it's so easy to lose perspective and go overboard.
Look at everything I did to try to get the Marbella back.
And I'd still do anything for my family, even wear a silk screen bow tie.
Okay, next time you see me, I might be quitting, because this book party might just launch my career.
(LAUGHING) This monologue is a stinky piece of garbage, and I hardly understand it! It's like I'm falling for you all over again.
You need to fix this right now! They are filming my coverage tonight! Sorry.
Any rewrite's gonna have to wait.
My book party's in a few hours.
(SQUEALS) Well, if you don't do the rewrite right now, you can kiss the People en Español article bye-bye-bye.
What? No, no, you can't do that to me.
(GROANS) ANEZKA: I can't do this anymore! I don't know who to believe.
You were the only one who really loved me.
I wish you were here to guide me.
I wish I could be kissing your face and your beard.
Both beard.
If you'd just send me a sign Yes, you're right, I should have a drink.
Maybe little snack, too.
- Can we get more nuts here? - NARRATOR: I don't think so.
It's already pretty crazy.
Oh, actual nuts.
Meh.
Meh? What-what does "meh" mean? It means "ugh, bleh," or (BLOWS) Charming.
It needs more pizzazz, more sparkle.
It needs to be more flowery.
Okay, flowery.
Fine.
I can do flowery.
Flowery is my specialty.
Now it has too many describey words.
Adjectives? No, words that describe other words.
You said you wanted flowery.
Yes, but not so flowery.
If I hand you a bouquet of flowers, you will smile.
But if I hand you a thousand flowers, you will suffocate to death under the weight of all those flowers.
I'll make it less flowery, but we have to move fast here.
I have to pick up my dress from the dry cleaner by 5:00.
- Well, now it's just boring.
- Ugh! I-I don't get it.
I-I don't understand what you want.
Okay, if I hand you a hundred flowers No, no.
No more flower analogies.
Just tell me what you want.
I want it to be epic! I want people to weep.
I want them to feel sorry for taking me for granted! Because they won't realize until I'm gone how much they really loved me.
JANE: Honestly, Fabian, I tried everything.
I just feel like we're going in circles here.
I-I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
(GASPS) Yes! That! That's excellent writing! - I want those words in my speech.
- You want "The light at the end of the tunnel" in your monologue? Yes.
It's such a nice image.
Clean, original, specific.
No adjectives.
Hmm.
Okay.
Do you also like, "Until my death we were two peas in a pod"? Yes! Peas in a pod! Another great image.
Now you're getting it! NARRATOR: And in that moment, Jane realized exactly the kind of speech Fabian wanted.
And friends, I don't think Jane would mind me saying that what she wrote was as hackey a monologue as the world has ever seen.
Riddled with every cliché she could think of.
It's perfect.
Oh, thank God for small favors.
You are on fire! It's exactly like God has done me a small favor.
I knew you were a great writer, but this this, I-I - Takes the cake? - Yes! Exactly! - NARRATOR: Enough with the clichés! - Great! So you're gonna call Arianna, make sure she's at the party? Yes! I'll call her right away.
Now go, or as you so beautifully put it, "Haste makes waste!" No.
Ma, stop.
I don't have time for smoky eyes.
- Where's the sitter? - Inhala, exhala, Jane.
(DOORBELL RINGS) That must be her.
- This is so pretty.
Can I wear it? - Of course you can.
Bling! (RINGTONE PLAYS) Oh.
I'm running late so I can't talk, but I will see you at the party in 20.
ADAM: Wait.
Wait.
Bad news.
I just got slammed with notes, and they pulled my deadline up.
What? ADAM: Yeah.
I have to turn in the panels tonight, so I can't make it to your party.
I'm so sorry.
No, I get it.
Hey, don't even worry about it.
It's all good.
Have a great night, Jane.
You deserve it.
Thanks.
- Adam can't come.
Work.
- Mm.
It's fine.
Rafael can't come, either.
I mean, that's the one that really stings because he told me to write the book, you know? - Aw.
- Why "aw"? What? Well, I just didn't want to make him feel bad.
(SIGHS) NARRATOR: Aw, he definitely does look a little bummed.
JANE: Can I get a rum and Coke, please? Wow.
You look great.
You, too.
Cute outfit.
So, what are you doing here? Isn't your party starting, like seven minutes ago? Ugh! Rum and Cherry Coke? Oh, I'm still figuring out the soda gun.
(LAUGHS) Well, I just wanted to tell you that I'm really bummed you can't come tonight.
Really? Mm-hmm.
I'll quit.
You're not you're not quitting.
But I just wanted you to know that.
And I wanted you to see the acknowledgements.
To Michael? No, that's the dedication.
The acknowledgements are in the back.
Wow.
- Are you gonna cry? - What? No.
It's sweat.
Bartenders don't cry.
(LAUGHS) Now go.
Okay? Enjoy your party.
(EXHALES) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which brings us here, now.
SOFT GUITAR (EXHALES) (EXHALES) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) ENRIQUE: Jane! The store hasn't been this crowded - in years! - Yesterday, we couldn't even afford a tiny ad, and now we are getting a feature in People en Español! (ALL LAUGHING) - It's perfect! - Aw! FABIAN: Jane! LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Almost perfect.
- Uh-uh.
- Oh.
What are you doing here? Huh? Aren't you supposed to be shooting your ghost monologue? I snuck away from set and told the director I was going 10-2.
It is way too late for another rewrite.
No, no, the monologue is perfect.
But Arianna's not coming.
- What? - She saw a picture of me online with another lover, and now she wants nothing to do with me.
I'm so sorry.
Why would you post something like that? I didn't! I was tagged.
NARRATOR: Ugh, I've been there, buddy.
Oh, no.
Oh, my After all that work? What am I supposed to tell Alejandro and Enrique? I will make it up to you, Jane.
I promise.
I'm gonna start a category 7 tweetstorm for all the fans and telenovela stars to come down here immediately.
- That will get instant publicity.
- Not enough.
Do not underestimate the power of my shirtlessness.
No, this is an emergency.
I'm going to go completely naked and cover my precious junk with your precious book.
I may need two.
- Ay.
- Where's the bathroom? What did the featherbed want? Arianna's not coming.
I will kill him, in real life this time! Dad, no.
It's not his fault.
Of course it is.
No, it's not.
It's yours.
I'm sorry, but it is because of you that we are in this situation.
You're on the hook for the lease.
Mom is gonna be furious.
And the bookstore is not gonna get the press that they need.
All because you wanted to swoop in with your ridiculous scheme to be a hero, when I could've just easily had the party at the publisher's office.
I just wanted you to have the book party of your dreams.
I know.
But why do you always have to go too far, Dad? Huh? I guess I overcompensate.
I mean, I-I wasn't around when you were a kid Seriously, this can't be your excuse anymore.
We're beyond it.
You didn't even know I'd been born! How can you blame yourself for something that you didn't even know happened? Because maybe I did know.
What? I mean, I didn't know.
But a part of me I don't know Always suspected, maybe I mean, I-I knew how religious Alba was.
And-and maybe I didn't ever call your mom because I didn't want to know.
In case.
I-I had dreams, ambitions.
Do you hate me? You were 16.
I get it.
- Really? - I mean, I wish you'd called.
Because I would have found you sooner.
But everything happens for a reason, right? And I like where we're at now.
So let's just keep moving forward and not keep coming back to this.
NARRATOR: And in that moment, Rogelio let the ghost of his past go.
- Thank you, Jane.
- Mm-hmm.
Now go take care of your adoring fans.
(EXHALES) And remember what I taught you about selfie angles.
Chin down, camera up.
(CHUCKLES) First, I have to break the news to Alejandro and Enrique.
(SIGHS) (GASPS) Do I know you? (WHISPERS): Oh, my God.
You're real.
(CHUCKLES) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Come on, Jane, use your words.
I'm sorry.
I'm overwhelmed because you're, like, my favorite author of all time, and you're actually standing here.
And, I mean, for years, I sat in that very corner and I read every single one of your books, and NARRATOR: Okay, maybe use less words.
It just feels so magical that you actually saw my tweets and came.
NARRATOR: To clarify, she didn't see Jane's tweets.
She saw these Your book means everything to me.
The House of the Spirits? Well, I loved that one, yes.
Um, but I was talking about Paula.
It helped me through my grief, when my husband died.
I'm so sorry.
When was that? Uh, four years ago.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
It's-it's the combination of feeling him everywhere tonight.
And you actually being here feels like well like magical realism.
Well, writing helped me through my grief, too.
There's light at the end of the tunnel, I promise.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Man, when she says it, it sounds brand-new.
Sometimes I just feel so guilty.
Telling your story doesn't betray the memory It keeps the spirits alive.
About living, I mean.
Being joyful, when he's not here to share it with me.
How can I be happy or in love? I write about strong women with passionate hearts.
It's all about the heart.
It's what drives us and Determines your fate.
I'm sorry, I've seen your TED Talk, like, a million times.
NARRATOR: Back off, stalker.
Well, magical realism can work both ways.
You are mine.
You are the reader I always imagined.
Let yourself enjoy your success.
Just live passionately, love passionately.
- NARRATOR: Which brings us here.
- The whole thing was perfect.
I did a reading, I sold 67 books, and Isabel Allende was there.
- Wow.
- And she was everything I imagined her to be.
And she made me realize that I have to tell you something.
And you might freak out, because you might not be ready (STAMMERS) but I have to live passionately and so what what is wrong? (CHUCKLES) (SHUDDERING BREATH) I'm moving to L.
A.
What? The VFX house that wanted to hire me a couple months ago, they-they contacted me again.
I said no, but they came back with an even bigger offer.
When? Earlier today, before your party.
I'm sorry.
I just have to take it.
You don't have to take it.
You want to.
Is that why you didn't come tonight? I didn't want to be in all your pictures.
I'm so sorry.
It's just watching what you've been experiencing the past few weeks, your dreams coming to life, it it just, it made me want to pursue my own dreams.
Good luck in L.
A.
I just feel so stupid.
No, Jane.
I can't believe I almost told him I loved him.
I can't believe I did love him.
(SNIFFLES) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And just then, she had a thought ¿Qué? Nothing.
I just I just realized I didn't think, after Michael, I could ever have my heart broken.
So there's that, at least.
(CRYING) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, a small light at the end of the tunnel after all.
How's Jane? She's actually doing okay.
Good.
I wanted to apologize.
I shouldn't have cosigned their lease.
It's fine.
I know you were just trying to take care of your family.
I was.
Luckily, Isabel Allende bought a first edition book, which paid for almost all their rent.
Wow.
That's lucky.
NARRATOR: Or magical.
But you just can't keep doing these giant things for Jane.
I know.
And I had a breakthrough, actually.
I was talking to Jane, and it goes back to when you were pregnant and a small part of me wondered if you'd - kept the baby, and that's - What?! A very small part.
I just meant I couldn't rule it out.
Jane wasn't mad.
She understood.
Jane hasn't been beating herself up for the last five years since you showed up.
You made me feel so guilty! NARRATOR: Yeah, not quite the reaction he was hoping for.
No, no, no, no.
It-it wasn't like that.
- I don't want to hear it.
- Xo, please I need some space.
(KEYS JANGLE) RAFAEL: You look like you could use a drink.
Thanks.
It's been a little rough around here.
But I think I've got my sister handled.
And let's just say I don't think you're going to be a bartender forever.
I've been working on I don't want to know the details.
But if anyone can do it, you can.
(WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY) Stay here.
DRAMATIC MUSIC LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Whoa.
She looks like she's seen a ghost.
- EMT: Back away! - EMT 2: Make room! NARRATOR: I'll give you a little clue, friends.
She didn't kill herself.