Metalocalypse (2006) s04e06 Episode Script

And our home was pillaged to bring forth the dark soul.
I fear these deaths will draw attention to our work.
The mission must continue no matter the cost.
General Crozier, your efforts will be rewarded in due time.
The global economy has been in a spiral since Nathan explosion destroyed Dethklok's last record, and world leaders are demanding answers.
In other news, notorious tyrant sultan Sotajumala has increased employee beheadings because he can no longer afford to keep them on his payroll.
But the question everyone's asking is, when will there be a new Dethklok album to take us out of financial peril? I wish I could help you guys, but I have a really bad case of writer's block, so, uh, my hands are tied.
Tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! falling down hurt yourself really gettin' hurt really gettin' really now it's -- Can we stop this thing?! Okay, fine.
What's going on? I guess I'm just not feeling it.
That "Fallin' Down" stuff's good.
I mean, it's -- it's good enough.
Dude, Nathan.
We've been doing demos for 37 days.
When are you gonna start feeling it already? I don't know.
Check it out.
Amber was feeling it.
She was bouncing on my lap.
Up and down.
Up and down.
Right, Amber? Don't talk.
was alsos reallys exciteds.
They gives me a doubles blowjobs.
Maybe I need a blowjob, you know? Well, let's just try to write at least one verse before we break for lunch, okay, babe? See, Amber, I told you I ran this room.
Well, any suggestions? How about you write something involving hurtin' yourself -- No! I meant for lunch.
Oh, how abouts we gos to that place where they gots those awesomes burritos? Oh, right.
Mexico, right? We're gonna have to put some clothes on these sluts if we're gonna take 'em out in public.
All right.
Well, let's close up the shop.
I mean, I feel like we did that verse almost.
Dude! That phone never rings.
That ams the phones that means somebodys ams gonna get fireds.
All right, look, this isn't easy to say, but crystal Mountain records isn't happy with the latest demos.
I'm afraid you're fired, dick.
Wait a minute.
Are you [Bleep.]
with me? They can't just fire him.
He's awesome.
That's Dick Knubbler over there.
Yeah.
Thank you, Nathan.
I mean, they -- they can't, can they? Can they fire him? Well, yes, they can, Nathan.
In fact, you're so deeply in debt to the label from destroying the last record that you actually have no choice in the matter.
Thanks a lot, Nathan.
It's not my fault that the record wasn't perfect, so I had to destroy it, all right? Don't blame me.
Moving on.
Your new producer should be here any minute.
What's his name? I'm still here in the room.
Crozie her name is Abigail Remeltindtdrinc, also known as "The Record Cleaner," a music producer with an extremely successful track record.
She's known within the industry as a hardheaded battle-ax that bands have broken up over because they can't handle her unorthodox ways of working.
To speak more on this is "misogyny in the workplace" specialist captain Slufgyflaysid.
Misogyny in the workplace is a dangerous tightrope to walk, especially if you're a lady.
Male workers only see female workers as their mommies or pawns for their sexual pleasure.
Super-hot chicks get the worst of this.
Generally, good lookin' bitches have trouble getting respect even if they're good at their job, which they usually aren't.
Putting a sexy little buttercup in charge of Dethklok could prove to be calamitous.
Well, this is some operation you have going on here.
You realize you were supposed to be in the studio an hour ago.
Yeah, but, uh, you know, this ams part of the creative proskess, you know? Let's talk about that.
Hey! What do you say you just leave the creative stuff up to us and go fetch us some drinks, sweetheart? How about you fetch them? You're the bass player.
Oh, youch.
Must be somebody's time of the month.
Verys funnys.
Huh.
Why don't you walk me through a typical recording day? Well, we wake up early around 2:00 P.
M.
We have an imported breakfast from Vienna.
Yeah, then we'll probably nap and then Jack off and then another nap.
Sometimes we'll make it in the studio, but, you know, it's usually around bedtime, so we get real tired.
Then, well, then we go back to bed.
Guys, your process is bull[Bleep.]
Pardon me, uh, Abgail, uh, may I talk to you outside for one moment, please? Listen, this is Dethklok, and this my band, okay? Nathan, you guys are burnt out and deep down, you're worried that you don't have anything left to say.
Um so I'm sending you and the band on a mandatory vacation to hopefully become inspired again.
Yeah, vacation! Yeah, vacations! Knott's berrys farm! I loves Knott's berrys farm.
He didn't say anything about Knott's berry's farm.
Shut up! You're not supposed to be here! 'Cause this is a private conversation! I've taken care of everything already.
Your flight leaves tomorrow.
When you get back, we'll start working on the new album.
See? I'm not so bad.
Who are you calling? Why did you bring me here? I mean, I thought I was fired.
Why am I now having a secret meeting with you? Right.
I understand.
Look, I don't like this new producer, all right? Uh-huh.
She's rubbing me the wrong way right out of the gates.
And you want your job back, right? Uh-huh.
We need to get rid of this lady.
Okay? You understand? Are you implying that we murder her? Nathan, how could you say something like that? I mean, this is a human -- I mean, I know some people if -- I'm not saying that, okay? Fix the demos while we're gone, all right? Uh-huh.
There's enough for you to work with, and I know if you get those demos into shape, you can get your job back and get rid of this lady, all right? Sure, yeah.
Those demos.
I can -- trust me.
Listen.
Dick Knubbler knows how to handle women, okay? And, uh, I can -- I can go over and talk to her and charm the pants off of her and-- What? No! Work on the demos! Don't try to charm her.
You're terrible with women, all right? Just get the demos working.
It's about working hard, okay? I understand What you really mean.
Secret message received.
Oh, pretty hair.
Like my mommy.
Uh, thank you.
What are all these people doing on our plane? It's always crowded in coach.
Coach? I think this is how regular Jack-offs fly.
Ugh.
Gross.
What the [Bleep.]
Is that? There are people around us [Bleep.]
their pants! Oh, but looks at this.
This ams goods.
Checks it outs.
It ams the internationals signs for the groupie sluts.
Press that buttons.
Here they comes.
Let me try that.
Oh, hello.
What can I get you, please? I pressed the button, I'm not gonna degrade myself by, uh, asking for sex.
Hello.
Oh, I'm afraid that's not going to happen.
Oh, how about just a blowjob? No chance! Excuse me.
You go and get us some food and booze.
Now.
Go.
Chop-chop.
Nothing is free in coach, ma'am.
Yeah, well, you know what? "Ma'am"? "Ma'ams"? I don't care if you polish up the demos.
It's still not my decision.
That's what I'm trying to say.
Yeah, yeah, that's fine.
I figured.
I figured.
That's cool.
Why did you bring me here? I wanted to talk to you about something else, something that fits real nice into a hot dog bun.
Aah! Where are we? Is this a resort? You ladies look lost.
How may I help you? Yeah, uh, where's our bags? Oh.
Let me check.
What your bags look like? How would I know? I didn't pack 'em.
You never put any bags on the airplane? That's what I'm saying.
I guess I'm answering my own question.
You lookin' pretty good over there! Yeah, baby! I want to [Bleep.]
you! You lookin' hot! Why ams those mens gawks at us likes that? You'll have to excuse them.
They're not used to seeing such beautiful women in public.
Huh.
Hey, uh, I know we forgot to bring money and stuff, but let's go get a hotel and some food, okay? This vacation sucks! You know, it's all that stupid lady producer's fault.
She did this to us on purpose! Well, maybe if you hadn't All right.
In the first place, we wouldn't be here, Nathan explosion! I said I was sorry! No, you didn't ever say you were sorry.
It was implied! I'd like to add to the record that you're still not saying you're sorry.
You know that I have an apology problem! Get in the van! All of you! This doesn't looks goods! I'm scareds! Whats the [Bleep.]
Am we doings heres? I don't know.
I can see that you are confused as to why I have brought you here.
Well, ever since I accidentally beheaded my band, I have grown tired of my women.
So, the time has come for a fresh crop.
That is why I'm making you girls part of my harem.
Have you ever seen such a wonderful pack of horny swans? No, sire.
These filthy whores will no doubt please you most satisfactorily.
Well, that's enough chitchat.
I now command you to take your clothes off and suck my What? What? There must be some mistake, your -- Silence! I have a mustache! Lower your gaze, woman! We are not ladies.
Listen to my voice.
"Not ladies"? We ams a famous band called Dethkloks.
If you are indeed the great Dethklok, then you will be spared if you can play a brand-new song that no one has ever heard before.
Otherwise, you will still have to suck my [Bleep.]
You hear that, Nathan? We've got to write a brand-new song right here on the spot.
Pickles, you know I'm low on ideas.
I am not gonna suck this guy's [Bleep.]
Me neither.
Nathans, come on.
I don't want to write another song.
Walking, bleeding lurching, seething dying from the dawn of time fester weakling cursed like a demon to walk this earth alive chaste and cast out waiting to blast out a life lived patronized liberation blackened evasion Scythe and Medea punishment is near I see you I curse you to feel my heart I hate you I am you doomed to this earth Aah! Aah! Aah! This sounds like the work of a desperate coked-out lunatic.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And? What I'm telling you is this music is not gonna work, but your engineering is pretty outstanding, and I need an engineer, so you're hired if you want.
I knew you'd come around! Give me a -- ooooooh! Here come that pukey feeling.
Always happens.
How can you still be alive? How can you still be