Mount Pleasant (2011) s04e06 Episode Script

Denise Bradwell.
Will you marry me? Yes! Yes! We're not going to worry about what might be happening.
We ordered pizza.
It's Saturday night.
Could do with getting out.
Let's face it, as plus ones go, you're a ten.
It's about feeling special for once.
Appreciated.
Married? You want to explain to me how two completely different women can both be filing for divorce at exactly the same time?! Morning.
Did I fall asleep? Ella said to leave you.
Figured sleeps not something you've had much of lately.
Thought you'd be gone by now Were you not cold? Freezing.
Right, well, I'd better get myself in the shower.
Erm Thanks, Greg.
For what? Just You know, thanks.
Close those bloody curtains.
Ooh.
Language on it! Dan! All Robbie's stuff, dumped out at the bottom of our drive.
Pauline must have come round this morning.
Mm.
We shouldn't have let him stay.
We should have chucked him out on his bloody arse.
Stop swearing in front of Molly! Oh, there's a four-week grace period with newborns.
He's in the shower.
Are you two getting up? I don't want to be by meself when he comes down.
What's this? An intervention? Think of it more as a lynch mob.
They were outside.
Pauline must've brought 'em round and dumped 'em.
Shit.
That's probably not a good sign, is it? No, it's not.
And if you don't want me chucking them all back outside again, I'd start talking if I were you.
We want to know everything.
Now.
You all right, Bianca? Yes.
Why wouldn't I be? Oh, you know, last night? Oh! Pht! It's OK to talk about it, you know.
Particularly with me.
I am paid for that sort of thing, you know.
You hate other people's problems.
But I like yours.
I don't mean I like them, I put up with Oh, you know what I'm trying to say.
I'm fine, Roger.
Honestly, stop being such a fusspot.
Here, have a muffin.
Caroline, the first one - I was at rock bottom when we met.
I was broke, I was homeless, staying round a mate's.
Couldn't come to you, couldn't go to Mum.
Didn't want anyone knowing what a loser I'd become.
And there she was - beautiful, smart, going places and I just threw myself into it, headfirst.
I told myself it was real, that I was in love, that it was something I could grab onto, like a lifeline, and once I did, I couldn't let go.
It was only when I slid that ring on her finger that I finally stopped.
Finally took a breath, finally realised what a mistake I'd made.
So you did what you always do.
You bailed.
No.
No, no, it wasn't like that.
I actually tried to make it work.
Even got a job.
Sales.
And that's That's when I met Jasmine.
She was a client.
But it was different with her.
That time it WAS real.
I mean, I fell for her hard, more than I ever have for anybody.
So you met someone else and instead of ending it with Caroline, like any normal human being would, you just disappeared.
No, I just didn't want to hurt her.
Robbie, that's what you always say! And it's bullshit! It's never about not wanting to hurt people - you DO hurt people.
It's about not wanting to see their faces when you do it! There she is! My future trophy wife! I'm not a trophy.
Yes, you are! You're the FA cup, Wimbledon shield and Olympic Gold all rolled into one.
We should get a baby-sitter tonight, go out and celebrate properly.
Could do.
There's this little bar by the canal, proper exclusive.
Our agency took us there once, full of celebs.
You'll love it.
They give you Champagne and they put strawberries in it! Sounds great.
So what happened with Jasmine? It was wonderful.
Perfect.
Everything I'd always wanted.
I should have told her about Caroline straight away and maybe if I had, we'd still be But I left it too late.
By the time she was talking about marriage, how could I tell her then? So you thought "Sod it, I'll just marry her as well, "not like she'll ever find out.
" Yeah.
For a while, it worked.
But then it was about getting a place together - joint mortgages, joint bank accounts, starting a family.
There would've been background checks, credit checks So you got in there first.
Another disappearing act.
It killed me, Lisa.
You've no idea.
It still does.
But I had no choice.
I just I didn't want to I didn't want to see her face.
And this? All of this, it all happened in just six months? Er No, it was a slightly longer period than that.
Robbie? Have you ever even been to New York? No.
Morning, Lisa.
How was the dinner party, Bianca's big date? Er Not good.
Robbie is a bit, erm Well, he's not quite right for Actually, why the hell am I covering for him? Robbie is married.
To two different women.
And we knew nothing about it! There! Really? Jesus.
I'm just going over to see if Bianca's all right.
She got caught right in the middle of it all.
Oh, poor B! Yeah.
I'll come with you.
What? Yeah.
No, it's all right, I'll just No, no, because she needs all of her friends right now.
Muffin? I made loads.
Thanks.
So you're definitely OK, then? You're not upset or Lisa, I'm fine, I told you.
Oh! Who's that? I am so popular today! Is she really OK? No idea.
Who can tell? Woman wears more masks than Batman.
Oh, hello! Come on in! Hiya, Denise.
What you doing here? Nothing, I'm just Oh, dear, have you got something in your eye? Er I don't think so.
Have I? Yes.
Ooh! And you have too, Tanya! Oh, no, wait.
I know what it is.
It's the sparkle from this bad boy! And he's taking me out to celebrate at that posh bar by the canal.
Oh, Roger! Oh Yes? I want you to go to the shop and buy every bridal magazine you can.
Denise has asked me to arrange her wedding! Well, she did such a good job with Charlie and Pauline's.
Plus we've got the same sense of style, me and you.
Dear God, it's going to be a neon-pink wedding with feathers Right, never mind that, let's talk about the important bit.
When's the engagement party? Oh.
I don't know if we're having one.
I don't think Fergus likes parties.
Yes.
You're having an engagement party.
I'll throw it for you.
We'll have it round at mine.
We'll have music, drinks "Imogen Winters" lingerie hamper! You'll be up for that, won't you? Oh, it's so exciting! I'll talk to Ella, we'll arrange everything.
Oh! Congratulations.
What does she mean? We won't have to parade around in our unmentionables, will we? No! We won't, will we? I've no idea.
I don't think I even said yes, did I? On your own? Yeah.
Good.
Found your little delivery this morning.
Yeah, well I assumed he'd wangle his way into crashing at yours.
For the moment.
What was I supposed to do? Oh, I wouldn't worry.
Soon as he thinks things are getting awkward, he'll sharp leave.
And he needn't come knocking on my door when he does, neither.
The hotel of Mum and Dad is closed for business, permanently.
And you really mean that, do you? Why else would I have been up at the crack of dawn, dragging his gear round yours? To make a point? Yeah.
And I made it.
So you can tell him, from now on, he's on his own.
I won't be giving him a second thought.
Is he? What's a bigamist? Well, it means he married two women.
At the same time.
Really?! Flipping heck, the church must have been packed.
Anyway, love, I am made up for you.
I tell you what, why don't you come round for coffee tomorrow? Bring Josh.
Him and Molly can have a play date.
Aww! That'd be nice.
I'll see you then, Lisa.
Yeah.
A party, Mum? I don't know Why not? Nothing is going to stop us from carrying on as normal.
Maybe we can't go out and have fun, but we can bring the fun here.
Good old Denise.
She couldn't've got engaged at a better time.
When were you planning on having it? We're hardly set up for having guests at the moment, are we? Here's an idea, Greg - how about tomorrow, me and you get up early and just go at it all day? Sorry? Well, two hands are better than one.
With both of us working, we could be finished in no time.
It's not your kind of work, Tanya.
She's good at that sort of thing, actually.
Are you? Yeah, I grew up in a house full of men.
Um Right.
Yeah, I guess.
Sure, why not? Good.
Then, knock off early and come and have your fish and chips now.
Where is everyone? Upstairs, I think.
Dan? I'll head out first thing - see if I can find a cheap flat to rent.
Are you? Brilliant.
That solves everything, then, doesn't it? What you doing? Watching television.
Extreme Hoarders.
When the announcer read it out, I thought he said "Extreme Hors D'Oeuvres", didn't I, Lisa? How we laughed.
I meant what are you doing up here? What do you think we're doing up here? Neither us know what to say to him, Dan.
I went to see Mum.
How is she? Pretending to act tough.
Pretending he's dead to her.
She's going to fall hard this time.
This'll be the worst one yet.
Hey, Molly Come on, then, budge up.
"After the break, "a couple unable to give up on their compulsive collection of gnomes.
" "It's got so bad" Ooh, you look smart! I thank you.
You sorted a baby-sitter, then? No need.
I've thought of something a lot better than a night out.
A night in.
You don't want to be going off to some silly club, eh? Tonight should be about me and you.
Here, in our flat.
Together.
But that's like every night.
Ah, but it's not.
Because before, we were here as just boyfriend and girlfriend.
Now we're fiance and fiancee.
And soon we shall be husband and wife.
If it's about the money It's not about the money, Denise! It's not about the money.
I just thought it'd be nice.
Cuddle up on the sofa, watch one of your favourite movies Titanic? Exactly.
They're not really my sort of places, those hipster bar things.
You don't mind, do you? No.
No, this'll be nice.
And .
.
strawberries and bubbly, just like you wanted! Have we got any flutes? I don't know.
But there's some of them thin Champagne glasses in the cupboard.
Did you never want to get married, Roger? Never met the right woman.
What would be your "right woman"? Oh, I don't know Rich? Out of the country a lot? I don't believe you.
Everybody needs somebody.
We weren't made to be alone.
What's wrong with me, Roger? Nothing.
Nothing is wrong with you.
Why is every man I meet a Chris or a Robbie? Well, they're not.
Yes, they are.
It's like they know they can do it, like they can tell that, for some reason, I'm just unlovable.
Give me that.
Here, give it to me.
Come here.
Come here.
Come here.
Look, you are not unlovable.
Loads of people love you.
Even I You know I know you do, Roger.
But it's not the same thing, is it? That's friendship love.
Is that really so bad? Pauline's going to crash and burn, isn't she? Flip back to her old ways - the thieving, the drinking Flower, I'm not sure she ever stopped doing either.
No, no, Baz, Lisa's right.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
I know you both think you've seen her bad, but there's worse.
Believe me, there's worse.
Like what? Put it this way - we might all be seeing a lot more of her than we'd like.
She'll start stripping off?! What?! No! She won't start stripping off! What's wrong with you?! I don't know! You put the thought in me head! I meant she'll be round here all the time, keeping herself busy so she's not thinking about him.
If it's bad him walking unannounced into the bedroom every morning, wait till Mum starts deciding to stay the night too! We've got to do summat! How can we? After everything Robbie's done, she can't just get past that.
Can she? We'll have to lay the groundwork.
And how do we do that? That was nice, last night.
You fell asleep! Only for a bit! For a disaster movie, they took their time getting to the good bit.
It's not a disaster movie.
It's a love story.
Right! A love story where everyone drowns, freezes or gets trampled on.
Funny idea of romance, some people.
Fergus, I've been thinking.
About that money you owe Lisa I do not owe Lisa! I owe the business.
My business.
Why keep banging on about it? Why do you bang on about money at all? I don't.
You do! You did it last night.
Going on like I didn't want to take you out because I'm short of cash.
I'm sorry But I told you why I didn't want to go.
It had nothing to do with money.
You know I'll probably get invited to a lot more events and socials? Be nice to go together sometimes.
Yeah, well, Fersa's going to pick up eventually too as well.
And when it does, I'll be sent out on conference days and seminars.
You won't want to come with me to them.
I'd happily go.
But I wouldn't expect you to.
The times we're apart don't matter, it's the times when we're together, that's all that counts.
Whenever I'm at work and things are getting on top of me or I'm here, looking after Josh while you're out on assignment - that's what keeps me going.
Knowing that, in a couple of hours, it'll be me and you again - I actually enjoy waiting for it.
Does that sound silly? No.
Good.
Because I don't ever want to stop waiting for you, Denise.
Oh, ha, ha! Very funny.
I set the trends, you know.
Next year, everyone'll be wearing these.
I'm pretty sure everyone could fit in it too! Yep, it is a bit roomy.
It's your Dad's old one.
Mind you, he couldn't change a plug without breaking a window, so God knows what he used it for.
Don't! Don't you start as well! I'm not, I'm not.
You look great.
I like a woman in uniform.
Even if it is a gas fitter's.
Stop it, you! I'm so sorry, Denise, I completely forgot we arranged this.
Oh, Mum, there you are! Listen, what are you doing this afternoon? Me and Dan have to pop out, trying to smooth things over between Robbie and Pauline.
Is she upset about him being a botanist? He's not Yes, Denise.
But me dad's stopping here with Molly - why don't you stay? The play date was for her and Josh anyway.
Ooh, we could do.
If you don't mind, Barry? Course I don't, flower.
Hey, I've heard your news.
# If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it # If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it! # Whoa, oh, ohh, oh, oh, oh, oh # Whoa, oh, ohh, oh, oh, ohh # If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it # If you liked it Play date.
For which pair? Anyway, we're meeting me mum down The Dog for dinner in half an hour.
But remember - we need to introduce the subject subtly.
Dan, I am nothing if not subtle.
Oi! You two! We're off now.
Will you be OK? We'll be champion, love.
Actually, Lisa, can I have a quick word? What's up? That's the money Fergus owed.
All two grand.
Has he made it back? How? No, he wouldn't let me help.
But I want to.
If we're getting married, we should share everything, good and bad.
Shouldn't we? No, love.
It doesn't work that way.
Keep it for now.
Please.
If you need it for the business, then it's there.
If he makes it back himself, well, you can just return it, can't you? It's a loan.
Denise I said no.
We'll talk about it later.
Ah, thank you.
I must say, that was quite the collection haul today, Bianca.
Made more than twice as much as we usually do.
I know that was down to you somehow, but I really can't say what you did.
I smiled, Roger.
So? I smile all the time.
No, you don't.
You must just think you do.
Well, anyway, it's nice to see you doing it.
And I hope you're feeling better than you did yesterday.
I am.
I'm sorry I was such a big silly.
It's just been such a long time since I did anything like that.
You know, getting invited out for dinner, getting dressed up all nice - and then he turns out to be a A shit-heel.
Roger! A shit-heel, yeah.
Well, if that's all you were worried about, it's very easily resolved.
We'll go out for dinner.
Tonight.
Just you and me.
But you hate going out.
Yes, I know.
That's why it'll be such a magnanimous gesture on my part.
Oh, thank you, Roger! That's just what I need! A lovely night out in a big, posh, expensive restaurant! Ooh! Er, no, wait! Bianca! I didn't actually specify the price range, did I? Bianca? Extreme Hors-D'Oeuvres? That'd make quite a good show, actually.
It would.
Hey, maybe you could use your new contacts and get it made? You could even host it.
Oh, I don't know about that.
Someone told me that if you go on television, you gain five pounds.
Oh.
Must be all the radiation from the cameras or something.
Probably.
Can you hold Molly? What's crack-a-lackin'? Speaking.
Oh.
I see.
No, thank you.
I'll head down now.
Bye.
What's happened? It's Sue's headstone.
They've finally put it up.
That one we had at the funeral was just a place holder.
We've had a special one properly made.
One I think she'll like.
I'll stay here, take care of Molly.
You go.
No, no.
No, no.
I'd I'd like to take her with.
I want Sue to meet her granddaughter.
Would you like me to drive? Blood and sand.
Has anyone got an elephant gun on them? There's a big white one in the room wants putting out of its misery.
We didn't want to bring it up.
What's he said? What excuses has he come up with for this one? Actually, I think he's pretty much told the truth.
Yeah, right.
How could you tell? Because he's made himself sound like a right bastard.
Mmm.
First day at nursery - I was upstairs with the other mums and I watched him.
I watched him go right up to this pretty little girl in pigtails, flash her that smile of his, then nick off with her lollipop.
When I got him home, I asked him why he'd done it.
He just looked at me and he said "I didn't.
" I remember that.
You and dad gave him a right bollocking.
Then, that night, you came up to our room and you gave him a trifle.
In the end, he said sorry.
I never got a trifle.
You never had anything to apologise for.
He had a lot of trifles over the years, didn't he? What if he said sorry? Oh What if he came to you and told you everything? No bullshit, no excuses.
Just laid it all out there.
I'd give him a smack round the head.
And then? It's not going to happen anyway.
One lollipop too many, he knows that.
He knows there's only so far you can push someone before they'll never welcome you back again.
So it don't matter what I'd do.
Because he won't come.
You can tell him that too.
You can tell him I know he won't come.
You make sure you tell him.
Barry, it's beautiful.
They wanted roses on the design.
That's what were in their book.
But I said "Sue hated roses.
" Lilies, that's what she'd want.
White lilies.
That's what I bought her for our first date.
And our first anniversary.
And every anniversary after.
And I'll keep bringing them, kid.
"Eternal love"? Is there any other kind? If it's not eternal, it's not love.
That's why we wanted this.
That's my place there, by Sue's side.
Where I was meant to be.
Body and soul.
That were our commitment.
Up there, down here.
For ever.
Can you give us a minute, love? All the time you need.
Oh, Sue.
I always said we'd go together.
I said if you ever went, I'd follow.
And then you'd joke with me.
You'd say "What? You, you silver charmer?" "You'll have a young model on your arm "before I get to the pearly gates.
" Well, turns out you were right.
There is another woman in my life after all.
Molly-Sue.
Say hello to your grandma.
That smile and your beauty and everything that's wonderful about you, you got from your mum.
Now you know where she got it.
We did good, kid.
We did good.
".
.
Olympic Gold medal for Great Britain.
" "OK, Matt, we're going to start with you.
" Hey.
Where's Josh? At me mum's.
She's not meant to have him till Monday.
I wanted us to have some time alone.
Oh, well, I'll see the end of this, then we'll have an early night! What What's happening? I'm sorry, Fergus.
I'm so, so sorry.
I can't marry you.
Hiya, Dad.
How was your play date? It were great.
We went to the cemetery.
You did what? Hey, your mum's headstone's gone up.
Oh, Dad! Why didn't you give us a ring? I'm fine.
Denise went with us.
How does it look? Beautiful.
Proper beautiful.
Your mum would've been really happy.
No.
Your mum IS really happy.
Come here What's happened? Never mind what's happened.
Put your jacket back on, we're going out.
I'm driving you round Mum's.
Oh, I don't think that's such a good idea, Dan.
Yes, well, I do.
We've spoken to her and she's going to listen to what you've got to say.
Really? She said that? No.
She said the opposite, but this is Mum we're talking about, so we all know what that means.
Let's leave it till the morning.
We're not leaving it till the fucking morning! Dan.
The baby.
What? Oh, she's fine.
There's a four-week grace period with newborns.
No, there's not.
The first four weeks are the most important stages.
It all goes in.
They tested it on monkeys.
Yeah, Dan! Just Leave it alone! Right, I'm off to practice.
Have a good night.
Wow, look at you two! Here Quite a cute couple, actually.
Very funny.
Go on, clear off.
Send me the picture later! Right, come on, then, where are you taking me? Well, erm Do you like hamburgers? No, I don't.
Oh.
Erm Ooh! I know! I know just the place! Come on! Please say something.
What is there to say? You don't want to marry me.
I love you so much.
But it wouldn't be right.
We want different things.
I want you.
You don't, Fergus.
You want the same girl that used to be your secretary.
That's who you'd be waiting for.
But that's not me, not now.
No more than you're the same guy that used to be my boss.
We've both changed.
I haven't changed.
You have! You have changed! For the better, so much for the better! And I love you more now than I ever did.
Even then.
Then why? Because those times we're apart, .
.
they do matter.
I don't want you to keep waiting for me, Fergus.
It's not fair.
Marriage is a lifetime.
And that's a long time to wait.
You know I would've done though, don't you? I know you would.
You're not coming with me? Pretty sure you can do this on your own.
You've had enough practice.
It's different this time, Dan.
Hey, I think, instead of CDs, we should have a bit of karaoke on the go.
Ella had a singing thing on her Xbox.
She got it for Christmas.
She never got a look in - I was always belting out Kylie gold.
# La la la # La la la-la la # La la la # La la la-la la Oi! You're really up for this party.
Distraction, Greg, beats avoidance hands down.
I guess it does.
Shouldn't you call it a day? God! I didn't even realise! Right, looks like it's takeaway again.
Chinese tonight, Ella? What do you think? Sounds good.
We can have it in the lounge - if I fall asleep, you won't get stuck with me all night.
Suits me.
I'll go and clean up.
Actually, Greg We've got a spare room.
Seems a bit silly, all things considered, you staying out there.
I don't know what Bradley would think about that.
I think he'd think it was the sensible option.
Ooh.
I think I might have the steak.
Oh I've heard that the chicken and mushrooms are very good here.
Maybe we should really push the boat out and have a bottle of bubbly too.
Oh! Oh, my God.
I don't smile very much, do I? You were probably smiling on the inside.
Yes, I THINK I probably was.
Gary was right, we really do make a cute couple! There! You see, you can do it.
Ready to order? Yes, please.
I'll have the chicken and mushrooms and a glass of house red.
I was only joking with you, silly! Yes, well, I wasn't.
Two steaks, please, medium rare? And a bottle of Champagne.
Thank you.
Ohh! Ohh Oh, it's the bubbles.
It's the bubbles that get you! Mmm.
That and the 14 per cent alcoholic-proof content.
It's been a very silly and a very fun day.
Thank you, Roger.
Not at all.
It's nice to see that you've finally stopped feeling sorry for yourself.
I have.
I'm going to really miss you when you've gone, Roger.
It's been so nice having someone round the house who doesn't scamper off up to his room the minute he gets home.
Yes, well, I've never been one for scampering.
Oh I'm going to miss you too, Bianca.
No, you're not! I know you like to be on your own.
Mmm.
Well, I've always been something of a lone ranger.
But I must confess, erm I've, erm I've really enjoyed this last week with you.
Have you? Yes.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry, Bianca, I would never mean to Oh, my God! It's fine.
No, it's not fine.
I would never I should never have I just I'd better go and lie down, I've had far too much to drink I'm so sorry, Bianca.
Roger, please! It's OK! ".
.
top tips on how you can take charge of selling your home" I'm going to ring her.
Oh, don't ring her now, Dan.
Just leave it.
No, I'll ring, if only to see which one's still standing.
Then I'll leave it.
"Hello?" I don't want to know details.
I just want to make sure you're talking.
- "What you on about?" - What do you think? Robbie.
"Robbie's not here, Dan.
" Dad, have you seen that envelope? I dropped him round two hours ago.
What envelope? The one Denise left, with all the Fersa money in it.
"I think I might have bloody noticed if he was, don't you?" "Dan?" Mum, I'm going to have to call you back.
How much money? How much money, Lisa?! Roger.
It's Gary's big match tonight and he really wants you to come.
I know you're avoiding me.
This is silly.
It was just a kiss.
It's Pauline.
She's got some very weird ideas about baby care.
So because one son's a bigamist, I can't look after me granddaughter? I can't keep playing house with you.
I need to sort myself out.
He won't come to the house any more.
You've got to talk to her.
And have her think I'm a loser? Yeah, I'm on me way.
It's Robbie.
He's in hospital.