My Boys (2006) s04e06 Episode Script
Hanger Management
Sometimes, when a friend starts a new chapter in his life, there's a domino effect.
Hey, guys.
Hey.
Whoo, nice outfit! Is it new? No, no, I got it months ago, and then I forgot about it.
And then kenny organized my closet and found a bunch of great stuff.
Kenny organized your closet? Don't mock it.
I'm an amazing organizer.
I've heard this about you.
No, it's true.
The, uh, memorabilia store was hyper-organized.
I could never figure out the system.
It was all alphabetized and put in drawers.
It was intense.
I am telling you, a well-organized closet is one of life's underrated pleasures.
Like eggs for dinner.
Or diving into a perfectly still pool.
Or a warm toilet seat.
- Ohh! See? Why? - Man! What? Do you like a cold toilet seat? I don't want to sit here and think about why your toilet seat was warm.
Yeah, like, "ah, a stranger was just here.
I-I can still feel their butt heat.
" Okay, can we please change the subject? Well, I'm trying to convince kenny to go pro with the closet organizing.
Ah, that's awesome.
Man, you should.
I'm taking steps.
I'm gonna start a little website and see what happens.
Do you have a domain name? Because I have, like, 100 names that I claimed years ago.
I could sell you one.
Like what? I have floopler.
com, uh, faxyourballs.
com, restinpeacebrucejenner.
com, but you can't have that one.
That's my retirement plan.
How did we get from warm butts to faxing your balls? It's not that far.
It's like a diagonal crosswalk.
Anyway, I told kenny that he should do your closet, peej.
In fact, I have a proposal.
You let me organize your closet in exchange for taking some before and after pictures for the website.
Kennysclosets.
com? Do you own that? Yes.
Well, I will in about 10 minutes.
Kenny, I would love for you to organize my closet.
- Yo.
Hey! - Hey! What did I miss? Kenny's starting a closet-organizing business.
Hilarious.
Uh, peej, I need to get with you later and talk about some stuff.
Okay.
Now's good for me.
Seriously, we were talking about warm butts and faxing balls.
Um, okay.
Well, there's this loft building down by the club, and a space just opened up today, so, peej, I am officially giving notice -- I'm moving out.
Wow! Hey! Brando, that's awesome.
Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty psyched about it.
I mean, you know, I'm also kind of sad that our successful run's gonna come to an end.
Hey, don't think of it as an end.
Think of it as an excuse to drink that really good bottle of champagne I have in my fridge.
Yeah.
I'm really happy for you, man.
And you know it's never gonna happen, right? What? Him moving out -- no way.
What are you talking about? You said you were gonna move out when you got the deejay job.
You said you were gonna move out when you lost the deejay job.
You almost moved in with Wendy -- twice.
Dude, I could set my calendar by the number of times you've said you were gonna move out.
You're being ridiculous.
And calendars don't need to be set.
Okay, you know what? I believe you're gonna do it this time.
I believe you're gonna make this happen.
I believe the cubs are really gonna do it this year.
Man, too soon.
Yeah, well, I'm moving out, all right? It's happening.
I signed the lease.
I'm gonna sign the lease.
Oh, well, I, uh I hate to break this up, but we need to see the doctor.
That sounded way more provocative than it actually is.
Oh, yeah.
No, no.
No.
We have a friend who's a doctor who we're getting coffee with because, well, Bobby? Because I am thinking about going to medical school.
Really? That's awesome, man! Congratulations, man.
Where did this come from? The trib has been downsizing in a big way.
And, you know, maybe I've just listened to too much u2, but I want to do something new, you know, something where I can really make a difference in people's lives.
Good for you.
Print journalism is dead.
Hey! Not you, peej.
You're fine.
So, anyway, I'm looking at medical school and maybe teaching, maybe even law school.
Dr.
Bobby.
Has a nice ring to it.
Yeah, of course, since he's not selling matchboxes of weed, it'll probably be "dr.
Newman.
" That's awesome, man.
You've got guts.
It's definitely a little scary, -but, you know, I'm psyched to -- to do something rewarding.
Hey, I have a friend with a start-up closet-organizing business.
Nice.
You pooped on two dreams at once.
Yeah.
Should we get going? Yeah.
Yeah, I got to go, too.
Can I tag along? I need to take some measurements of p.
J.
'S closet.
Yeah.
Me too, and afterwards, I'm gonna hang out in her sweatpants.
Oh, you're serious? Wait, you guys don't want to watch the match? World cup's on! What, nobody? Boopy, do you want to watch the world cup with me? It's really fun, and nobody ever wants to.
No, I'm not gonna sit in a bar and watch grown men kick a ball around.
It's a beautiful day.
I should be in a mall somewhere.
It brings the world together in a really cool way -- every continent, every race.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that doesn't mean anything.
That man looks like he's carved out of marble.
Yeah, that's Brazil.
They're one of the best teams in the world.
And look at that one.
Damn, how come nobody told me about this? Okay, okay, they're not pieces of meat, okay? These are world-class athletes.
Goal! Goal! Ha! He's taking off his shirt.
Why is he taking off his shirt? Well, that's what they do when they score a goal.
At the end of the game, they all take their shirts off and exchange them.
How long do I have to wait for that? Ah, about two merlots.
Barkeep? My gpa was strong, and I had great mcats, but I only got into two schools -- Fairbanks, Alaska, and Grenada.
Wow, so, you had to choose between snow men and palm trees? Yeah, and -- and both really far away.
Well, the big secret about med school is it doesn't matter where you are, 'cause you're not gonna see anything but teachers, books, and cadavers for eight years.
Eight years? Yeah.
Ooh.
I got to run.
If you do decide to go to med school, take a long vacation first and kiss your friends goodbye.
Peej? Hey, thanks for the coffee, Daphne.
See ya.
Thanks.
Wow.
Eight years.
You know, I don't think med school is for me.
It's a shame, 'cause I look rowdy in scrubs.
Hey.
Hey.
How's the move coming? Ah, well, I'm formulating a plan.
Yeah, I figure if I get it organized first, when I actually move, I'll only have to bring the necessities.
That's a big step up from just shoving everything into garbage bags, huh? That's plan "b.
" Check this out.
The one and only copy of viscous circle, my 'zine.
Oh, man.
Remember desktop publishing? You see? This is the danger of organizing.
You don't want to get too bogged down in all the stuff or you'll never get it all packed.
Yeah, you're right, you're right.
Oh, my Jesus action figure! Where you been, buddy? Jesus action figure? What does he do? He's Jesus.
He can do anything.
Hey, the closet organization has begun.
Come check it out.
Hey, you should get kenny to help you.
He is a professional.
That still cracks me up.
Oh, my God.
Okay, I need you to go through this pile here.
Anything you haven't worn in the last year gets chucked.
Okay, let's slow down here, okay? We're not chucking anything.
Even this? No! My grandma gave that to me! Clearly.
Okay, kenny, this is insane, all right? You said you were gonna clean out my closet, notTear apart my entire bedroom.
I decided to upgrade you to the "master cleanse.
" Okay, first of all, come up with a better name.
Second of all, no, just the closet.
And I'm not throwing anything out.
Fine.
What about these boxes over here? Oh, you know, those are Bobby's.
Okay, I'll unpack them.
No, kenny.
Yeah, just now with his new plans and everything, we don't know how long he's gonna be here, so just Deal with my stuff, okay? Whoa, peej, when were you in earth, wind and fire? Be nice.
It's from her grandmother, the color-blind safari enthusiast.
What's going on? Oh, I wanted to show you this.
- Ha ha ha! - Ah! Right? The classic "mike Callahan refuses to let go of the ski rope" photo.
Legs and water everywhere.
Hey, when are your movers coming? Ohh.
Movers.
Hey! Hey! Hey! What are you guys doing here? It's 8:00 A.
M.
Yeah, we're just grabbing a bite before the game.
Yeah, I had two snakebites and beans on toast at about 5:30.
I got to right the ship.
At 5:30? The world cup has no clock.
Except for, of course, the clock.
Brazil is gonna go off today! Mm, huh? She has world cup fever! I gave it to her.
You? What's so funny? I don't know.
It's just weird.
It would be like Mike being into cat grooming or Brando watching "ellen.
" Or Bobby becoming a doctor.
Uh, yeah, actually, I don't know if that's gonna happen anymore, not since we met with my doctor friend.
Is he handsome? Uh, "she.
" Sexist.
Is she hot? No.
Sexist.
Yeah, I think Bobby got a little scared away when he really thought about just how long it takes to become a doctor.
He has other options, right? Yeah, but what I never realized was that Bobby going to grad school could mean Bobby going to grad school really far away.
No, he wouldn't do that, would he? I don't know.
He might not have a choice.
Oh, man, that sucks.
Steph, uh, we got to go.
Next match is about to start, and the world cup waits for no man, not even if they need coffee.
Let's do it! Eu sou brasileiro! Com muito Amor! Ah! See ya! ÃTs olé, olé, olé âTs it's nice for your old Professor to meet us.
Yeah, Professor daily was the best, too.
I'm excited to hear what he's got to say about me going into teaching.
Oh, God, you'd be a natural.
Bobby? Hey! Professor, it's so good to see you.
This is my girlfriend, p.
J.
Very nice to meet you.
Oh, you too.
Bobby speaks so highly of you.
We'll have to see if we can't change that.
How are you, Bobby? What's on your mind? Well, I have been thinking about getting into academia, and I kind of wanted to pick your brain about it.
Don't do it.
Run away.
I'm sorry? Academia is hell.
You Chase tenure, only to get it, and then you realize it's a prison.
He's colorful.
Did I mention how colorful he is? Bobby, you remember Rick redick? Of course.
Yeah, he was my t.
A.
-- Brilliant guy.
Yeah, well, he is now a Professor at mineral valley community college.
Have you heard of it? Uh, no.
Exactly.
It's tragic.
Jobs are scarce.
It's the -- it's the only choice that he had.
But if you could do it all over? I'd buy Google at $15 a share and become a carpenter.
Anything to get away from this hellhole.
Well Good chat.
Well, so far, I'd say the score is upper education -- zero, get a job at the carnival -- one.
Hey, Brando, how's the move coming? I found my old walkman and an old mix tape! I put some new batteries in! I'm in heaven! Well, looks like the move kind of stalled out there, huh? Dude, "spoonman" by soundgarden still holds up! Hey, uh, Brando, I talked to the guy at the corner store.
He said he has a ton of extra boxes and you're welcome to them.
Sounds good! I also -- I ate a baby panda for lunch, bones and all.
It was really delicious.
Right on! Give me a thumbs up if you like to wear ladies underpants.
Yeah! All right, I got to get going.
I'm going to the white sox game with my lawyer buddy, Tim.
Oh, that'll be fun.
Yeah, it should be interesting to hear about how law school is a long and expensive dead-end road.
I'm sorry.
I really thought this search was gonna be, you know, empowering and fun.
Well, who knows? Maybe what I take away from all of this is that I shouldn't go back to school.
Look, you are still a great journalist.
Well, I obviously have a lot to think about.
I hate when I have a lot to think about.
Dude, "barracuda" by heart -- best song ever.
Hey, ladies underpants.
And pantyhose! Whoo! Whoo! It's amazing! My closet looks like it could be in Martha Stewart living.
Martha's a hack.
Each pair of shoes has its own little box with a photo in front? Arranged from casual to formal -- uggs up top, pumps at the bottom.
Where are my crocs? Ah, don't worry about that.
I do not know how that happened.
And my ugly Christmas sweater.
It's for ugly-christmas-sweater parties.
Is it? Anyway, I have an idea how to incorporate Bobby's stuff into -- no, no.
We're definitely keeping Bobby's stuff in boxes.
But when brendan moves out, why not just -- I think we should wait to see if that's gonna happen.
Okay, but these boxes can't just stay piled up over here.
They're drawing focus away from the closet.
Kenny, the boxes are fine, okay? Look, I really appreciate what you did to the closet.
But we're done.
We're not changing anything else.
Okay, crazy person? Me? I'm not the one who had my bathing suits mixed in with my sweaters.
Goal! Goal! Goal! Uh, Stephanie layne? Fabiano is the man! What's happening here? Brazil is what's happening.
They just won the match in an overtime shootout.
Oh, my God.
You just said something about sports that made sense.
What did you do to her? She's the only one who's understood me.
Mm! Oh, hey! How's Bobby doing with his career search? Oh, man, he's kind of bummed.
Turns out there's a lot of overeducated people out there who really don't enjoy their jobs.
Not me.
I love my job.
She said "overeducated.
" Zing! And honestly, I really like living together, you know? And I hate the idea of him going off to East god-knows-where for grad school.
East god-knows-where? I met a girl once in East god-knows-where.
No, you didn't.
All right.
Well, have you told Bobby how you feel? Oh, God, no.
No, no, no.
I don't want to be one of those don't-follow-your-dream, stay-at-home-with-me girls.
Well, it sounds like maybe you won't have to.
Yeah, it might all just go away.
Just like brendan's move.
Well, maybe you're right.
'Cause then I get credit for being supportive, and I get to keep my boyfriend.
It's hard to think about losing something you love.
Like Cameroon is this close to being eliminated, and what am I supposed to do, root for the dutch? Ugh! Can you imagine? No! Oh, my God, I'm on the outside of a sports conversation.
Sucks, doesn't it? Hey, guys.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey, babe.
How was the game? It was great! We had an awesome time! Yeah? Nice to get your mind off things for a bit? Yeah.
And the best part is I think I figured out what I want to do.
I'm gonna go to law school.
I'm gonna be a lawyer.
Oh! Dude, that's awesome.
The world needs more lawyers.
Absolutely.
Yeah! Well, well.
Changes are put! Shouldn't we be celebrating? Or at least drinking? Absolutely! You know what? There is actually a bottle of good champagne in the fridge that was supposed to be for celebrating brendan moving out, but Kenny! We're opening champagne! Come out of the closet! It's gonna be awkward for Stephanie, but I think we can all agree it's time.
Three days.
You managed to go three whole days without making the most obvious joke.
That's friendship, and I thank you.
You're welcome.
It was hard.
What are we celebrating? Well, Bobby is going to law school.
Hey, that's great news! Congrats! Thanks, buddy.
I'm pretty excited about it.
It'll be nice to have a friend who's a lawyer when the "s" goes down.
Well, I mean, it's probably gonna take a couple years, so you might want to keep your "s" together.
What made you decide on law school? Well, my buddy Tim made me realize that, after three short years, a law degree could take you to a bunch of different places -- public defender, politics, FBI.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Dude, FBI! You got to go with FBI! You can wear my "female body inspector" shirt.
Bobby, that's awesome.
Yeah, I'm psyched, man.
I feel like I'm at the beginning of this great adventure, and I have no idea where it's gonna take me.
Wow.
You know what? This is gonna blow brendan's mind, huh? Where is he? Gone.
He moved out.
Yeah, right.
See for yourself.
Son of a bitch.
He did it.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe it.
He actually did it.
That's amazing.
Yeah, but how? I mean, the guy spent the last two days reading old letters and looking through view-masters.
Ah, he was cocooning.
That's what men do before a big move.
I'm pretty sure that's caterpillars.
We're all related.
But he didn't even have any boxes.
He took Bobby's.
He stole my boxes? Well, then where's your stuff? Don't worry about it.
I took care of it.
You moved his stuff in? I told you not to do that! P.
J.
-- how many times did I tell you to keep his stuff separate? I could not have been more clear that I didn't want you moving his stuff in! Would you calm down? I didn't move Bobby in.
I took his stuff, and I put it in a pile where the boxes were.
Okay.
Good.
Hmm.
But I am living here.
Aren't I? I mean, yes and no.
You know, not officially.
So, if Bobby's boxes get unpacked, then he's officially living here? Yes.
And that's a bad thing? Evidently.
Well, no, I'm Okay, I'm -- I'm just trying to be the good girlfriend here.
I just don't want you to feel trapped.
No, I-I don't feel trapped.
A little confused maybe, but not trapped.
Okay.
Wait, I'm sorry.
Okay, so, what -- what are you saying? You want to, like, move in and -- and -- and, you know, have some sort of future together and turn brendan's room into a nursery? Whoa, what? I bet he's starting to feel trapped now.
I mean, no, but that's the point.
You're going away, you know? And you're going to law school.
And I don't want to stand in the way of that dream.
Is that what this is about? You think I'm gonna move? Peej, part of the reason that I picked law school was so I could stay here with you.
Really? Yes.
Listen, we may be poor now, but my family was quite rich once.
We built wings on law schools.
This city is lousy with Newman family wings, trust me.
So You're not gonna move to East god-knows-where? No.
Good.
It's far.
I used to date a girl from there.
No, you didn't.
All right.
You know, I was kind of hoping that, now that Brando's gone, there would be room for me here.
Ohh.
Well, I mean, your boxes are here, so Yes! That's great news! Dude, you're more excited than Bobby.
Of course.
I already moved Bobby's stuff into her closet.
You're gonna want to check the garbage.
He is ruthless.
Why he had terry-cloth shorts, I'll never know.
I just bought those at American apparel! Well, now they're in heaven with your roller skates.
Okay, the champagne's not getting any colder, soHere's a little toast to Bobby and law school.
And to you two officially living together.
And to Brazil, 'cause they're so much faster on the outside than anybody else.
That is weird.
Hey, sports fans.
Hey! Hey, how's your new pad? Oh, it's awesome, dude.
Huge.
I can ride my bike around in there, like "quicksilver" style.
Huh? Underrated Kevin bacon film from the '80s, and it is - Awful! - Awesome! Dude, I can't believe you moved out.
Come on! Was there ever any doubt? Memory lane kept getting longer and longer.
And I can't believe you didn't ask us to help you.
Man, I've pushed your albums in that shopping cart all over this city.
I got movers.
What can I say? I'm an adult in an adult place.
Oh, speaking of which, um, does anybody have an extra vacuum cleaner? Or a lamp? She does.
I found that in her closet.
No, thanks.
What's the champagne for? Bobby is going to law school.
Hilarious.
So, who wants to check out the new pad? I do.
Yeah! Yeah! when friends start new chapters in their lives, sometimes it inspires you to take a look at your own life.
And before too long, you find yourself starting your own new chapter.
Wait! South Korea and Argentina! It's on, baby! Ha ha! It's on! Ha ha! Oh, yeah! Let's take our shirts off Just like they do on tv.
Hey, guys.
Hey.
Whoo, nice outfit! Is it new? No, no, I got it months ago, and then I forgot about it.
And then kenny organized my closet and found a bunch of great stuff.
Kenny organized your closet? Don't mock it.
I'm an amazing organizer.
I've heard this about you.
No, it's true.
The, uh, memorabilia store was hyper-organized.
I could never figure out the system.
It was all alphabetized and put in drawers.
It was intense.
I am telling you, a well-organized closet is one of life's underrated pleasures.
Like eggs for dinner.
Or diving into a perfectly still pool.
Or a warm toilet seat.
- Ohh! See? Why? - Man! What? Do you like a cold toilet seat? I don't want to sit here and think about why your toilet seat was warm.
Yeah, like, "ah, a stranger was just here.
I-I can still feel their butt heat.
" Okay, can we please change the subject? Well, I'm trying to convince kenny to go pro with the closet organizing.
Ah, that's awesome.
Man, you should.
I'm taking steps.
I'm gonna start a little website and see what happens.
Do you have a domain name? Because I have, like, 100 names that I claimed years ago.
I could sell you one.
Like what? I have floopler.
com, uh, faxyourballs.
com, restinpeacebrucejenner.
com, but you can't have that one.
That's my retirement plan.
How did we get from warm butts to faxing your balls? It's not that far.
It's like a diagonal crosswalk.
Anyway, I told kenny that he should do your closet, peej.
In fact, I have a proposal.
You let me organize your closet in exchange for taking some before and after pictures for the website.
Kennysclosets.
com? Do you own that? Yes.
Well, I will in about 10 minutes.
Kenny, I would love for you to organize my closet.
- Yo.
Hey! - Hey! What did I miss? Kenny's starting a closet-organizing business.
Hilarious.
Uh, peej, I need to get with you later and talk about some stuff.
Okay.
Now's good for me.
Seriously, we were talking about warm butts and faxing balls.
Um, okay.
Well, there's this loft building down by the club, and a space just opened up today, so, peej, I am officially giving notice -- I'm moving out.
Wow! Hey! Brando, that's awesome.
Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty psyched about it.
I mean, you know, I'm also kind of sad that our successful run's gonna come to an end.
Hey, don't think of it as an end.
Think of it as an excuse to drink that really good bottle of champagne I have in my fridge.
Yeah.
I'm really happy for you, man.
And you know it's never gonna happen, right? What? Him moving out -- no way.
What are you talking about? You said you were gonna move out when you got the deejay job.
You said you were gonna move out when you lost the deejay job.
You almost moved in with Wendy -- twice.
Dude, I could set my calendar by the number of times you've said you were gonna move out.
You're being ridiculous.
And calendars don't need to be set.
Okay, you know what? I believe you're gonna do it this time.
I believe you're gonna make this happen.
I believe the cubs are really gonna do it this year.
Man, too soon.
Yeah, well, I'm moving out, all right? It's happening.
I signed the lease.
I'm gonna sign the lease.
Oh, well, I, uh I hate to break this up, but we need to see the doctor.
That sounded way more provocative than it actually is.
Oh, yeah.
No, no.
No.
We have a friend who's a doctor who we're getting coffee with because, well, Bobby? Because I am thinking about going to medical school.
Really? That's awesome, man! Congratulations, man.
Where did this come from? The trib has been downsizing in a big way.
And, you know, maybe I've just listened to too much u2, but I want to do something new, you know, something where I can really make a difference in people's lives.
Good for you.
Print journalism is dead.
Hey! Not you, peej.
You're fine.
So, anyway, I'm looking at medical school and maybe teaching, maybe even law school.
Dr.
Bobby.
Has a nice ring to it.
Yeah, of course, since he's not selling matchboxes of weed, it'll probably be "dr.
Newman.
" That's awesome, man.
You've got guts.
It's definitely a little scary, -but, you know, I'm psyched to -- to do something rewarding.
Hey, I have a friend with a start-up closet-organizing business.
Nice.
You pooped on two dreams at once.
Yeah.
Should we get going? Yeah.
Yeah, I got to go, too.
Can I tag along? I need to take some measurements of p.
J.
'S closet.
Yeah.
Me too, and afterwards, I'm gonna hang out in her sweatpants.
Oh, you're serious? Wait, you guys don't want to watch the match? World cup's on! What, nobody? Boopy, do you want to watch the world cup with me? It's really fun, and nobody ever wants to.
No, I'm not gonna sit in a bar and watch grown men kick a ball around.
It's a beautiful day.
I should be in a mall somewhere.
It brings the world together in a really cool way -- every continent, every race.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that doesn't mean anything.
That man looks like he's carved out of marble.
Yeah, that's Brazil.
They're one of the best teams in the world.
And look at that one.
Damn, how come nobody told me about this? Okay, okay, they're not pieces of meat, okay? These are world-class athletes.
Goal! Goal! Ha! He's taking off his shirt.
Why is he taking off his shirt? Well, that's what they do when they score a goal.
At the end of the game, they all take their shirts off and exchange them.
How long do I have to wait for that? Ah, about two merlots.
Barkeep? My gpa was strong, and I had great mcats, but I only got into two schools -- Fairbanks, Alaska, and Grenada.
Wow, so, you had to choose between snow men and palm trees? Yeah, and -- and both really far away.
Well, the big secret about med school is it doesn't matter where you are, 'cause you're not gonna see anything but teachers, books, and cadavers for eight years.
Eight years? Yeah.
Ooh.
I got to run.
If you do decide to go to med school, take a long vacation first and kiss your friends goodbye.
Peej? Hey, thanks for the coffee, Daphne.
See ya.
Thanks.
Wow.
Eight years.
You know, I don't think med school is for me.
It's a shame, 'cause I look rowdy in scrubs.
Hey.
Hey.
How's the move coming? Ah, well, I'm formulating a plan.
Yeah, I figure if I get it organized first, when I actually move, I'll only have to bring the necessities.
That's a big step up from just shoving everything into garbage bags, huh? That's plan "b.
" Check this out.
The one and only copy of viscous circle, my 'zine.
Oh, man.
Remember desktop publishing? You see? This is the danger of organizing.
You don't want to get too bogged down in all the stuff or you'll never get it all packed.
Yeah, you're right, you're right.
Oh, my Jesus action figure! Where you been, buddy? Jesus action figure? What does he do? He's Jesus.
He can do anything.
Hey, the closet organization has begun.
Come check it out.
Hey, you should get kenny to help you.
He is a professional.
That still cracks me up.
Oh, my God.
Okay, I need you to go through this pile here.
Anything you haven't worn in the last year gets chucked.
Okay, let's slow down here, okay? We're not chucking anything.
Even this? No! My grandma gave that to me! Clearly.
Okay, kenny, this is insane, all right? You said you were gonna clean out my closet, notTear apart my entire bedroom.
I decided to upgrade you to the "master cleanse.
" Okay, first of all, come up with a better name.
Second of all, no, just the closet.
And I'm not throwing anything out.
Fine.
What about these boxes over here? Oh, you know, those are Bobby's.
Okay, I'll unpack them.
No, kenny.
Yeah, just now with his new plans and everything, we don't know how long he's gonna be here, so just Deal with my stuff, okay? Whoa, peej, when were you in earth, wind and fire? Be nice.
It's from her grandmother, the color-blind safari enthusiast.
What's going on? Oh, I wanted to show you this.
- Ha ha ha! - Ah! Right? The classic "mike Callahan refuses to let go of the ski rope" photo.
Legs and water everywhere.
Hey, when are your movers coming? Ohh.
Movers.
Hey! Hey! Hey! What are you guys doing here? It's 8:00 A.
M.
Yeah, we're just grabbing a bite before the game.
Yeah, I had two snakebites and beans on toast at about 5:30.
I got to right the ship.
At 5:30? The world cup has no clock.
Except for, of course, the clock.
Brazil is gonna go off today! Mm, huh? She has world cup fever! I gave it to her.
You? What's so funny? I don't know.
It's just weird.
It would be like Mike being into cat grooming or Brando watching "ellen.
" Or Bobby becoming a doctor.
Uh, yeah, actually, I don't know if that's gonna happen anymore, not since we met with my doctor friend.
Is he handsome? Uh, "she.
" Sexist.
Is she hot? No.
Sexist.
Yeah, I think Bobby got a little scared away when he really thought about just how long it takes to become a doctor.
He has other options, right? Yeah, but what I never realized was that Bobby going to grad school could mean Bobby going to grad school really far away.
No, he wouldn't do that, would he? I don't know.
He might not have a choice.
Oh, man, that sucks.
Steph, uh, we got to go.
Next match is about to start, and the world cup waits for no man, not even if they need coffee.
Let's do it! Eu sou brasileiro! Com muito Amor! Ah! See ya! ÃTs olé, olé, olé âTs it's nice for your old Professor to meet us.
Yeah, Professor daily was the best, too.
I'm excited to hear what he's got to say about me going into teaching.
Oh, God, you'd be a natural.
Bobby? Hey! Professor, it's so good to see you.
This is my girlfriend, p.
J.
Very nice to meet you.
Oh, you too.
Bobby speaks so highly of you.
We'll have to see if we can't change that.
How are you, Bobby? What's on your mind? Well, I have been thinking about getting into academia, and I kind of wanted to pick your brain about it.
Don't do it.
Run away.
I'm sorry? Academia is hell.
You Chase tenure, only to get it, and then you realize it's a prison.
He's colorful.
Did I mention how colorful he is? Bobby, you remember Rick redick? Of course.
Yeah, he was my t.
A.
-- Brilliant guy.
Yeah, well, he is now a Professor at mineral valley community college.
Have you heard of it? Uh, no.
Exactly.
It's tragic.
Jobs are scarce.
It's the -- it's the only choice that he had.
But if you could do it all over? I'd buy Google at $15 a share and become a carpenter.
Anything to get away from this hellhole.
Well Good chat.
Well, so far, I'd say the score is upper education -- zero, get a job at the carnival -- one.
Hey, Brando, how's the move coming? I found my old walkman and an old mix tape! I put some new batteries in! I'm in heaven! Well, looks like the move kind of stalled out there, huh? Dude, "spoonman" by soundgarden still holds up! Hey, uh, Brando, I talked to the guy at the corner store.
He said he has a ton of extra boxes and you're welcome to them.
Sounds good! I also -- I ate a baby panda for lunch, bones and all.
It was really delicious.
Right on! Give me a thumbs up if you like to wear ladies underpants.
Yeah! All right, I got to get going.
I'm going to the white sox game with my lawyer buddy, Tim.
Oh, that'll be fun.
Yeah, it should be interesting to hear about how law school is a long and expensive dead-end road.
I'm sorry.
I really thought this search was gonna be, you know, empowering and fun.
Well, who knows? Maybe what I take away from all of this is that I shouldn't go back to school.
Look, you are still a great journalist.
Well, I obviously have a lot to think about.
I hate when I have a lot to think about.
Dude, "barracuda" by heart -- best song ever.
Hey, ladies underpants.
And pantyhose! Whoo! Whoo! It's amazing! My closet looks like it could be in Martha Stewart living.
Martha's a hack.
Each pair of shoes has its own little box with a photo in front? Arranged from casual to formal -- uggs up top, pumps at the bottom.
Where are my crocs? Ah, don't worry about that.
I do not know how that happened.
And my ugly Christmas sweater.
It's for ugly-christmas-sweater parties.
Is it? Anyway, I have an idea how to incorporate Bobby's stuff into -- no, no.
We're definitely keeping Bobby's stuff in boxes.
But when brendan moves out, why not just -- I think we should wait to see if that's gonna happen.
Okay, but these boxes can't just stay piled up over here.
They're drawing focus away from the closet.
Kenny, the boxes are fine, okay? Look, I really appreciate what you did to the closet.
But we're done.
We're not changing anything else.
Okay, crazy person? Me? I'm not the one who had my bathing suits mixed in with my sweaters.
Goal! Goal! Goal! Uh, Stephanie layne? Fabiano is the man! What's happening here? Brazil is what's happening.
They just won the match in an overtime shootout.
Oh, my God.
You just said something about sports that made sense.
What did you do to her? She's the only one who's understood me.
Mm! Oh, hey! How's Bobby doing with his career search? Oh, man, he's kind of bummed.
Turns out there's a lot of overeducated people out there who really don't enjoy their jobs.
Not me.
I love my job.
She said "overeducated.
" Zing! And honestly, I really like living together, you know? And I hate the idea of him going off to East god-knows-where for grad school.
East god-knows-where? I met a girl once in East god-knows-where.
No, you didn't.
All right.
Well, have you told Bobby how you feel? Oh, God, no.
No, no, no.
I don't want to be one of those don't-follow-your-dream, stay-at-home-with-me girls.
Well, it sounds like maybe you won't have to.
Yeah, it might all just go away.
Just like brendan's move.
Well, maybe you're right.
'Cause then I get credit for being supportive, and I get to keep my boyfriend.
It's hard to think about losing something you love.
Like Cameroon is this close to being eliminated, and what am I supposed to do, root for the dutch? Ugh! Can you imagine? No! Oh, my God, I'm on the outside of a sports conversation.
Sucks, doesn't it? Hey, guys.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey, babe.
How was the game? It was great! We had an awesome time! Yeah? Nice to get your mind off things for a bit? Yeah.
And the best part is I think I figured out what I want to do.
I'm gonna go to law school.
I'm gonna be a lawyer.
Oh! Dude, that's awesome.
The world needs more lawyers.
Absolutely.
Yeah! Well, well.
Changes are put! Shouldn't we be celebrating? Or at least drinking? Absolutely! You know what? There is actually a bottle of good champagne in the fridge that was supposed to be for celebrating brendan moving out, but Kenny! We're opening champagne! Come out of the closet! It's gonna be awkward for Stephanie, but I think we can all agree it's time.
Three days.
You managed to go three whole days without making the most obvious joke.
That's friendship, and I thank you.
You're welcome.
It was hard.
What are we celebrating? Well, Bobby is going to law school.
Hey, that's great news! Congrats! Thanks, buddy.
I'm pretty excited about it.
It'll be nice to have a friend who's a lawyer when the "s" goes down.
Well, I mean, it's probably gonna take a couple years, so you might want to keep your "s" together.
What made you decide on law school? Well, my buddy Tim made me realize that, after three short years, a law degree could take you to a bunch of different places -- public defender, politics, FBI.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Dude, FBI! You got to go with FBI! You can wear my "female body inspector" shirt.
Bobby, that's awesome.
Yeah, I'm psyched, man.
I feel like I'm at the beginning of this great adventure, and I have no idea where it's gonna take me.
Wow.
You know what? This is gonna blow brendan's mind, huh? Where is he? Gone.
He moved out.
Yeah, right.
See for yourself.
Son of a bitch.
He did it.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe it.
He actually did it.
That's amazing.
Yeah, but how? I mean, the guy spent the last two days reading old letters and looking through view-masters.
Ah, he was cocooning.
That's what men do before a big move.
I'm pretty sure that's caterpillars.
We're all related.
But he didn't even have any boxes.
He took Bobby's.
He stole my boxes? Well, then where's your stuff? Don't worry about it.
I took care of it.
You moved his stuff in? I told you not to do that! P.
J.
-- how many times did I tell you to keep his stuff separate? I could not have been more clear that I didn't want you moving his stuff in! Would you calm down? I didn't move Bobby in.
I took his stuff, and I put it in a pile where the boxes were.
Okay.
Good.
Hmm.
But I am living here.
Aren't I? I mean, yes and no.
You know, not officially.
So, if Bobby's boxes get unpacked, then he's officially living here? Yes.
And that's a bad thing? Evidently.
Well, no, I'm Okay, I'm -- I'm just trying to be the good girlfriend here.
I just don't want you to feel trapped.
No, I-I don't feel trapped.
A little confused maybe, but not trapped.
Okay.
Wait, I'm sorry.
Okay, so, what -- what are you saying? You want to, like, move in and -- and -- and, you know, have some sort of future together and turn brendan's room into a nursery? Whoa, what? I bet he's starting to feel trapped now.
I mean, no, but that's the point.
You're going away, you know? And you're going to law school.
And I don't want to stand in the way of that dream.
Is that what this is about? You think I'm gonna move? Peej, part of the reason that I picked law school was so I could stay here with you.
Really? Yes.
Listen, we may be poor now, but my family was quite rich once.
We built wings on law schools.
This city is lousy with Newman family wings, trust me.
So You're not gonna move to East god-knows-where? No.
Good.
It's far.
I used to date a girl from there.
No, you didn't.
All right.
You know, I was kind of hoping that, now that Brando's gone, there would be room for me here.
Ohh.
Well, I mean, your boxes are here, so Yes! That's great news! Dude, you're more excited than Bobby.
Of course.
I already moved Bobby's stuff into her closet.
You're gonna want to check the garbage.
He is ruthless.
Why he had terry-cloth shorts, I'll never know.
I just bought those at American apparel! Well, now they're in heaven with your roller skates.
Okay, the champagne's not getting any colder, soHere's a little toast to Bobby and law school.
And to you two officially living together.
And to Brazil, 'cause they're so much faster on the outside than anybody else.
That is weird.
Hey, sports fans.
Hey! Hey, how's your new pad? Oh, it's awesome, dude.
Huge.
I can ride my bike around in there, like "quicksilver" style.
Huh? Underrated Kevin bacon film from the '80s, and it is - Awful! - Awesome! Dude, I can't believe you moved out.
Come on! Was there ever any doubt? Memory lane kept getting longer and longer.
And I can't believe you didn't ask us to help you.
Man, I've pushed your albums in that shopping cart all over this city.
I got movers.
What can I say? I'm an adult in an adult place.
Oh, speaking of which, um, does anybody have an extra vacuum cleaner? Or a lamp? She does.
I found that in her closet.
No, thanks.
What's the champagne for? Bobby is going to law school.
Hilarious.
So, who wants to check out the new pad? I do.
Yeah! Yeah! when friends start new chapters in their lives, sometimes it inspires you to take a look at your own life.
And before too long, you find yourself starting your own new chapter.
Wait! South Korea and Argentina! It's on, baby! Ha ha! It's on! Ha ha! Oh, yeah! Let's take our shirts off Just like they do on tv.