Phineas and Ferb s04e06 Episode Script
Der Kinderlumper (15 min)
No, no, no! I-I've been good! Don't put me in your gundersack! Not the gundersack! No! The Kinderlumper! That's it! The Kinderlumper! So, what do you think? I think you look like you just fell off a turnip truck, and then got run over by a rutabaga truck.
Yeah, yeah, real funny.
This is the official rutabaga regalia for the 100th Running of the Chinchillas from Danville to Badgertown.
By wearing this, it will entice the chinchillas to follow me, the Princess! So yeah, I get it.
It's a huge honor and everything, but come on, Candace.
Why do you really want to be Rutabaga Princess? I get to start the Running of the Chinchillas! Yeah Mom and Dad, and everyone in Danville will be waiting in Badgertown to see me cross the finish line! Yeah I get to be on TV! That's the reason! Stacy, this could be the first step on my way to stardom.
And as my best friend, you'll be famous by association.
That's my favorite kind of famous! Candace! What is it, Phineas? Look at the cool vehicles we made for you for the Running of the Chinchillas! Baljeet has grown a new super-street of bio-engineer rutabaga! I simply spliced the genetic code of a rutabaga and a giant redwood.
And? And fennel.
I want it to smell like licorice! You're not getting me into one of those things! I'm not showin' up for my TV debut lookin' like a complete weirdo! What? I said, "complete".
And now, I must leave.
My public awaits.
Yeah, and I must go be famous by association.
And to think, we knew Stacy before she was famous by association.
Doo bee doo bee dooâ Dah! I'm supposed to be in Badgertown! Morning, Agent P.
I was just doing a little handicapping for this year's Running of the Chinchillas.
I think I'm going to box Dryer's Dust with Squeaky Toy.
And I'm taking Gerbil Bait to win.
You're daft, Carl! Anyway, word has it that Doofenshmirtz plans to attend the ceremony.
The odds are he's up to something evil.
Better look into it, Agent P.
Hmm Gerbil Bait.
Heh, talk about your long shots.
Dangit, Carl! Good morning, everyone.
I'm Mike van Hatofapilgrim here in Danville for the 100th Annual Running of the Chinchillas, and with us today is this year's Rutabaga Princess.
And what's your name, young lady? I'm Candace Flynn.
And I'm famous by association! That's great.
Well, there you have it.
A good day for rutabagas, chinchillas, and self-promoting sycophantism.
Citizens of Danville, it is now time for your princess, me Citizens of Danville, it is now time for your princess, me to start the Running of the Chinchillas! I now summon my tuber troubadour! I will now play the traditional chinchilla fanfare.
What? Butâ Wait.
Huh? I see.
Not a music lover.
My Princess? I will now take a bite of the ceremonial rutabaga.
And now I most humbly take my leave, Princess.
Yeah, you do that, Sputnik.
Chinchillas, let the running begin! Well, there they go! And now, the Running of the Chinchillas is underway! And now, back to you in the studio.
There's no one in the studio.
It's Sunday.
Really? How am I supposed to do a live broadcast when no one is in the studio? We're not live, we're taping this.
Fine.
Candace, here, let me get your train.
Oh, oh, my gosh, sorry! I don't know, Stacy.
This is harder than I thought.
Oh, sorry! Maybe if we ran in front of them, it'd be a little easier.
Okay, now onward to Badgertown! Oh! Oh, my gosh, sorry! That should do it.
Excellent.
Perry the Platypus? Oh.
Sorry you had to see that, it's just that It's one button.
Anyway, you are just in time to witness as I activate the Kinderlumper-inator and transform myself into a real live Kinderlumper! What? Don't tell me you've never heard of the Kinderlumper.
You know, a gigantic troll with sharp teeth and nose like a broom handle, he grabs children, puts them in a gundersack if theyâ You never heard of this? My mother used to sing me this lovely song about it right before I went to bed.
And it goes a little something like this.
(Song: Der Kinderlumper) The Kinderlumper's probably gonna get ya 'Cause you've only ever been an awful kid Pretty soon he's gonna come and catch ya Then everyone will know just what you did Because If you make some bubbles in the bathtub If you've got saliva in your mouth If you ever feel the need to blink your eyeballs If he finds you breathing in and out The Kinderlumper's gonna get ya The Kinderlumper's gonna get ya If you ever drink a glass of water If you turn your head just slightly to the right If you ever feel the need to use the bathroom Then the Kinderlumper's gonna strike tonight! The Kinderlumper's gonna get ya The Kinderlumper's gonna get ya! The Kinderlumper's gonna get ya The Kinderlumper's gonna get ya! He's gonna get you good! The Kinderlumper's gonna get ya! So anyway, I got this actual-sized Kinderlumper costume and I'm gonna shoot myself with the Kinderlumper-inator to make me gigantic and trollish so, you know, it will fit.
Then, I will go scare my brother, Roger, so badly that he is certain to relinquish control of the Tri-State Area to me! Well, to the Kinderlumper, actually, but when the ray wears off, I'll be me again and I'll already be in control.
Stand back, Perry the Platypus.
Prepare to do some beholding! Oh! Knock it off, you crazy platyâ It worked! You know, Stacy? This is fun.
I could get used to this princess thing.
Did you see that? Call in Chopper 4! This is the biggest story of my career! Let's get some! Oh, why did I ever opt for work release? Seriously, Perry the Platypus, was it really necessary to destroy everything? N-Now, t-that's a good trollish gigantic platypus.
Ha! Let that be a lesson to you! Never stand on a big cartoony "X"! And now, I've a little appointment to keep with the Mayor.
Everyone have your signs and foam fingers ready to cheer Candace on? Ready! Ready! Buford, you ripped your finger off! Yeah! What about it?! Nothing.
Phineas, Phineas, Phineas! And Ferb! You have to help us! We're being chased by monster-sized chinchillas! Monster-sized chinchillas? That's awesome! Here they come! This is amazing! I've never been in a helicopter before! They're gaining on us! And can't this thing go any faster?! I got the fennel pedal all the way to the rutabaga metal! And yes, I know it's a weird sentence.
I can't outrun them! Phineas! Isabella! Oh, no! Phineas and Ferb! Oh, those poor innocent kids.
I can't watch.
It's justâ I-It's justâ I'm gonna step outside where I canâ Whoa! Did you see that?! I almost stepped out of the helicopter! Did you see that? Save yourself, Princess! Run! Run! Run! Run! The chinchillas should be here any minute, Mr.
Mayor.
Well, I hope they don't ask me to eat any rutabagas like last year.
I think we can avoidâ What is that?! I think I know this guy.
There's nothing to be afraid of! It's only the Kinderlumper, come to join our celebration! Now, it's a party! I, uh I believe the more appropriate response would be to flee in terror? But, Kinderlumper, why would I ever run away from you? Don't you remember the Kinderlumper song? Remember? Of course I remember! Mother used to sing me the song every night.
The Kinderlumper's always going to love you And bring you lots of presents while you sleep N-No, wait! Those are not the words! That's how she sang it to me.
And I still have some of the gifts you brought me.
Look! Almond brittle! No! Butâ But you don't even like almond brittle! I know.
That's why I never ate it.
No! Funny, I never thought of the Kinderlumper as such a crybaby.
No, it's not fair! Oh, no, the effects are wearing off! Run for your lives! They're coming! The chinchillas! It's too late for me! Save yourselves! Ooh! Ooh.
Ooh! Ooh.
No, no, no.
Stop, stop.
Were you this dramatic when you were Rutabaga Princess? Oh, yeah.
Stop it! Seriously! Candace, that was so exciting! You're the best Rutabaga Princess yet! Phineas! I thought you were stampeded! We were! It didn't hurt.
They were big but they were still fluffy.
It's like being run over by cotton candy.
But less sticky.
That was amazing! We got it all on camera! Wait, really? Did you get Phineas and Ferb and the rutabaga vehicles? Yup.
The whole thing! Where's the camera? Oh, it's right over there.
No! The biggest story of my career, and it just flew away! Welcome to my world, Mike.
Welcome to my world.
Oh, there you are, Perry.
Get over here, you hairy little beast!
Yeah, yeah, real funny.
This is the official rutabaga regalia for the 100th Running of the Chinchillas from Danville to Badgertown.
By wearing this, it will entice the chinchillas to follow me, the Princess! So yeah, I get it.
It's a huge honor and everything, but come on, Candace.
Why do you really want to be Rutabaga Princess? I get to start the Running of the Chinchillas! Yeah Mom and Dad, and everyone in Danville will be waiting in Badgertown to see me cross the finish line! Yeah I get to be on TV! That's the reason! Stacy, this could be the first step on my way to stardom.
And as my best friend, you'll be famous by association.
That's my favorite kind of famous! Candace! What is it, Phineas? Look at the cool vehicles we made for you for the Running of the Chinchillas! Baljeet has grown a new super-street of bio-engineer rutabaga! I simply spliced the genetic code of a rutabaga and a giant redwood.
And? And fennel.
I want it to smell like licorice! You're not getting me into one of those things! I'm not showin' up for my TV debut lookin' like a complete weirdo! What? I said, "complete".
And now, I must leave.
My public awaits.
Yeah, and I must go be famous by association.
And to think, we knew Stacy before she was famous by association.
Doo bee doo bee dooâ Dah! I'm supposed to be in Badgertown! Morning, Agent P.
I was just doing a little handicapping for this year's Running of the Chinchillas.
I think I'm going to box Dryer's Dust with Squeaky Toy.
And I'm taking Gerbil Bait to win.
You're daft, Carl! Anyway, word has it that Doofenshmirtz plans to attend the ceremony.
The odds are he's up to something evil.
Better look into it, Agent P.
Hmm Gerbil Bait.
Heh, talk about your long shots.
Dangit, Carl! Good morning, everyone.
I'm Mike van Hatofapilgrim here in Danville for the 100th Annual Running of the Chinchillas, and with us today is this year's Rutabaga Princess.
And what's your name, young lady? I'm Candace Flynn.
And I'm famous by association! That's great.
Well, there you have it.
A good day for rutabagas, chinchillas, and self-promoting sycophantism.
Citizens of Danville, it is now time for your princess, me Citizens of Danville, it is now time for your princess, me to start the Running of the Chinchillas! I now summon my tuber troubadour! I will now play the traditional chinchilla fanfare.
What? Butâ Wait.
Huh? I see.
Not a music lover.
My Princess? I will now take a bite of the ceremonial rutabaga.
And now I most humbly take my leave, Princess.
Yeah, you do that, Sputnik.
Chinchillas, let the running begin! Well, there they go! And now, the Running of the Chinchillas is underway! And now, back to you in the studio.
There's no one in the studio.
It's Sunday.
Really? How am I supposed to do a live broadcast when no one is in the studio? We're not live, we're taping this.
Fine.
Candace, here, let me get your train.
Oh, oh, my gosh, sorry! I don't know, Stacy.
This is harder than I thought.
Oh, sorry! Maybe if we ran in front of them, it'd be a little easier.
Okay, now onward to Badgertown! Oh! Oh, my gosh, sorry! That should do it.
Excellent.
Perry the Platypus? Oh.
Sorry you had to see that, it's just that It's one button.
Anyway, you are just in time to witness as I activate the Kinderlumper-inator and transform myself into a real live Kinderlumper! What? Don't tell me you've never heard of the Kinderlumper.
You know, a gigantic troll with sharp teeth and nose like a broom handle, he grabs children, puts them in a gundersack if theyâ You never heard of this? My mother used to sing me this lovely song about it right before I went to bed.
And it goes a little something like this.
(Song: Der Kinderlumper) The Kinderlumper's probably gonna get ya 'Cause you've only ever been an awful kid Pretty soon he's gonna come and catch ya Then everyone will know just what you did Because If you make some bubbles in the bathtub If you've got saliva in your mouth If you ever feel the need to blink your eyeballs If he finds you breathing in and out The Kinderlumper's gonna get ya The Kinderlumper's gonna get ya If you ever drink a glass of water If you turn your head just slightly to the right If you ever feel the need to use the bathroom Then the Kinderlumper's gonna strike tonight! The Kinderlumper's gonna get ya The Kinderlumper's gonna get ya! The Kinderlumper's gonna get ya The Kinderlumper's gonna get ya! He's gonna get you good! The Kinderlumper's gonna get ya! So anyway, I got this actual-sized Kinderlumper costume and I'm gonna shoot myself with the Kinderlumper-inator to make me gigantic and trollish so, you know, it will fit.
Then, I will go scare my brother, Roger, so badly that he is certain to relinquish control of the Tri-State Area to me! Well, to the Kinderlumper, actually, but when the ray wears off, I'll be me again and I'll already be in control.
Stand back, Perry the Platypus.
Prepare to do some beholding! Oh! Knock it off, you crazy platyâ It worked! You know, Stacy? This is fun.
I could get used to this princess thing.
Did you see that? Call in Chopper 4! This is the biggest story of my career! Let's get some! Oh, why did I ever opt for work release? Seriously, Perry the Platypus, was it really necessary to destroy everything? N-Now, t-that's a good trollish gigantic platypus.
Ha! Let that be a lesson to you! Never stand on a big cartoony "X"! And now, I've a little appointment to keep with the Mayor.
Everyone have your signs and foam fingers ready to cheer Candace on? Ready! Ready! Buford, you ripped your finger off! Yeah! What about it?! Nothing.
Phineas, Phineas, Phineas! And Ferb! You have to help us! We're being chased by monster-sized chinchillas! Monster-sized chinchillas? That's awesome! Here they come! This is amazing! I've never been in a helicopter before! They're gaining on us! And can't this thing go any faster?! I got the fennel pedal all the way to the rutabaga metal! And yes, I know it's a weird sentence.
I can't outrun them! Phineas! Isabella! Oh, no! Phineas and Ferb! Oh, those poor innocent kids.
I can't watch.
It's justâ I-It's justâ I'm gonna step outside where I canâ Whoa! Did you see that?! I almost stepped out of the helicopter! Did you see that? Save yourself, Princess! Run! Run! Run! Run! The chinchillas should be here any minute, Mr.
Mayor.
Well, I hope they don't ask me to eat any rutabagas like last year.
I think we can avoidâ What is that?! I think I know this guy.
There's nothing to be afraid of! It's only the Kinderlumper, come to join our celebration! Now, it's a party! I, uh I believe the more appropriate response would be to flee in terror? But, Kinderlumper, why would I ever run away from you? Don't you remember the Kinderlumper song? Remember? Of course I remember! Mother used to sing me the song every night.
The Kinderlumper's always going to love you And bring you lots of presents while you sleep N-No, wait! Those are not the words! That's how she sang it to me.
And I still have some of the gifts you brought me.
Look! Almond brittle! No! Butâ But you don't even like almond brittle! I know.
That's why I never ate it.
No! Funny, I never thought of the Kinderlumper as such a crybaby.
No, it's not fair! Oh, no, the effects are wearing off! Run for your lives! They're coming! The chinchillas! It's too late for me! Save yourselves! Ooh! Ooh.
Ooh! Ooh.
No, no, no.
Stop, stop.
Were you this dramatic when you were Rutabaga Princess? Oh, yeah.
Stop it! Seriously! Candace, that was so exciting! You're the best Rutabaga Princess yet! Phineas! I thought you were stampeded! We were! It didn't hurt.
They were big but they were still fluffy.
It's like being run over by cotton candy.
But less sticky.
That was amazing! We got it all on camera! Wait, really? Did you get Phineas and Ferb and the rutabaga vehicles? Yup.
The whole thing! Where's the camera? Oh, it's right over there.
No! The biggest story of my career, and it just flew away! Welcome to my world, Mike.
Welcome to my world.
Oh, there you are, Perry.
Get over here, you hairy little beast!