Star Wars: The Clone Wars s04e06 Episode Script
Nomad Droids
Homeward bound.
On a peaceful relief mission to the planet Aleen, R2-D2 and C-3PO were caught up in an adventure beyond their comprehension.
After finally resolving the crisis and being taken to Jedi Master Adi Gallia's cruiser, they now head home toward the safety of the Republic, hoping to avoid a Separatist attack.
And Mistress Padmé, you would not believe the adventures Artoo and I had on that troubled planet of Aleen.
We have been in the most absurd situations.
I could never compute.
Well, I told you, Threepio, it's a big universe out there, beyond the few million planets you know.
And obviously, for the most part, quite uncivilized.
I hope never to end up on a mission of that nature again.
Good.
I need you here to supervise the senatorial banquet.
It was pushed up and is only two days away.
Oh, my! They've hit the main reactor, prepare to evacuate.
Non-essential personnel evacuate immediately.
Non-essential personnel evacuate immediately.
Did you hear that? We've got to get out of here.
It's General Grievous! Artoo, where are you going? We need to find an escape pod.
All pilots to your stations.
All flight crews, man your stations.
Move to your stations! All flight crews, man your stations.
R2-D2, get down from there at once.
This is not an escape pod.
Well, if there's nothing better, I suppose, it will just have to do.
I'm sure I will live to Artoo, you should know I have total confidence in your skills as a pilot, provided you can avoid these star cruisers.
Oh, my! Avoid them the other way! Artoo, do something! Get us out of here! They're right behind us! We've been hit! Ah! Right on target! Well done, Artoo.
Oh, no! The reactor was hit, it's shutting down.
We'll disintegrate for sure.
Fixable? This scrap pile? Without the tools, this ship is utterly useless! I suppose, we could get out and have a look around.
Oh, really.
You see, not even a ladder.
Utterly useless! Utterly! Look, look! Over there! - Intruders! - Oh! - Shiny! - It's shiny! Intruders! Did you hear that? Whoever you are, please note that my counterpart here is programmed in 47 schools of self-defense.
There, I've frightened them off.
Fear not, Artoo, just little creatures.
Can't possibly damage us! Oh! Oh! Oh! Get the Big Hay-Zu.
He'll know what to do.
Really! May I say that this is no way to treat a friendly visitor to your planet.
The Big Hay-Zu says there are no friendly visitors.
This Hay-Zu doesn't sound very reasonable.
We do what he says, whatever he says, for our own good.
Your own good? He sends our children to fight his wars, the lucky ones.
What does he do to the unlucky ones? So, you are the intruders? Intruders? Oh, hardly, Your Worshipful-ness! We are On this planet, things are what Hay-Zu says they are! Quiet, Artoo.
What's this? Your friend challenges Big Hay-Zu's authority! Sir, my disagreeable friend here means no disrespect.
We are just trying to get back to our home planet, but our ship is damaged.
And I fear, repaired or not, that further travel in it might not result in our arrival there unscathed.
That's the chance you'll have to take.
Now get off my planet while I'm in a good mood, or I'll have you dismembered and sold for scrap.
Free them! Ah, big talk for a small droid! Artoo, have your sensors frozen? I am not going to let you at him! In fact, I'm going to switch you off before you cause an intergalactic incident.
Oh, my! You just killed him.
Dead.
He's dead.
The Big Hay-Zu is dead.
You must understand this was an accident, a terrible accident.
He's dead! He's dead! The Big Hay-Zu is dead! He's dead! He's dead! The Big Hay-Zu is dead! Gold one, we have a proposition.
We wish you not to leave, but for you to stay, as our new leader.
A lot you know, you over-stuffed barrel of bolts.
I could be a leader.
I am honored by your consideration but you should choose a leader from among your own.
None of us has killed Hay-Zu.
None of us have earned the title.
Terminating the big one does not anoint me leader.
You must choose.
Now, who are the three smartest, most intelligent, most understanding, most compassionate? You should choose a leader from among these three.
Who thinks he should be leader? Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
And this young lady? Yeah! Lastly, him.
Yeah! Congratulations! You are now a democracy.
- I got more votes than he did.
- No, you didn't! - Sit down! It was me! It was me! - I got the most votes.
- That is not true.
- Ridiculous! No! No, it was me.
I heartily agree.
Is the ship ready? Then we'll just have to risk it, and leave them to build their happy democracy, on their own.
I got the votes! Down with democracy! Yes, I'm reading the gauges.
I have nothing to do but read gauges.
Why? What do the gauges say? Running out of power? The ship and us, too! Oh, I knew we should never have left the Jedi cruiser.
Another planet? According to the positional system coordinates, this is Balnab, a stellar remnant in its emerging stages of organic development.
I've heard terrible stories about these primitive planets.
I dare not imagine what is beginning to swim in their primordial soups.
I know we have to find power.
But do we have to find it out there? Afraid? Of course I'm not afraid.
I am now.
Quickly, see if your scanners can find a viable power source.
Yes, me, too.
Life forms? What kind? They appear to be humanoid and completely devoid of intelligence.
Artoo, make a dash for it! What are they? Bring them.
The leader will know.
Another leader? Oh! I do hope this one is more understanding.
My fault! Ha! I should have known.
Who dares come to my land? Just two wandering droids searching to find their home! Droids? What are droids? Well, kind sir, droids are mechanical beings possessing artificial intelligence, designed to make - Silence! - At once, sir.
Your Sir-ness, being silent is one of my specialties.
Who dares to bring these non-living things before me? It was I who brought them.
I thought that How unfortunate.
No one thinks here but me! Artoo, be quiet.
This situation calls for my most delicate diplomatic skills.
Please excuse my insolent friend, Your Eminence-ness, but I know a holographic image I know not of your blasphemy.
Perhaps "holographic" is the incorrect word in your native tongue, but it is obvious that you are not real.
Not real! I'll show you not real! Hey, what are you doing back here? I said what are you doing back here? Back where? Help you? Whereabouts We're not gonna help you.
We worked hard to keep these mindless organics enslaved.
And if you want to order someone around, get your own organics.
Oh, yeah! And just how is an astromech unit going to make our loyal subjects rebel? Uh-oh.
Oh, my! Oi, get them! Uh-oh, again! Artoo! It's time to leave but we still need to recharge.
Here they come! They're coming for us.
We're done for! They're gonna kill us! Run for it! It's all your fault, Artoo, all your fault.
Whatever will we do now? Artoo, I'm talking to you.
Please don't mumble.
Artoo, you're almost out of power.
Here, rest.
Me? I have 1.
723% left in my power core.
I thought for sure you would have figured something out by now.
You're usually so good at that sort of thing.
Oh, Artoo, don't leave me, please.
Rest, my friend.
I will be joining you soon.
That Republic Y-wing is a great prize.
Do you think there are any Jedi around? Don't worry.
We be takin' off before anyone realizes we've landed.
What have we here? Looks like two droids that ran out of power.
Lookie, lookie here.
Come to papa.
There you go.
This should be a fun one.
Who would rescue us? Master Anakin? Artoo, you're recharged.
I'm recharged! We survived.
Where are we? Pirates? Oh, my.
What are they cheering for? Oh, goodness gracious me! Soon it will be us.
Oh, my stars! Oh, no! General, we've come across what appears to be a pirate ship.
Use that ship for target practice.
Open fire! All forward cannons open fire.
Battle stations! Oh, my! Go get him, Artoo.
Oh, no, we'll never get back to the ship! We surrender.
We surrender! Uh, where did you come from? They must be pirate droids.
Pirate droids! You're under arrest.
Pirate droids? We're not pirate droids.
We are part of the Republic.
Oh, yes, we are pirate droids.
That is what we thought.
Send them off to the incinerator room with the rest of the pirate scum.
The incinerator room? Yes.
You will be melted down for General Grievous' war machine.
This is terrible.
No! No! Oh, this trip has been nothing but calamity all the way.
Thanks for the rescue, Master Plo.
General Grievous has fled.
Very good! Finish off the remaining droids.
We're Republic.
We belong to Senator Amidala.
Don't shoot.
Don't shoot! I can't believe it.
You know these droids, Commander Wolffe? Yes, sir.
We transported them to Master Gallia's ship after we left the planet Aleen.
Yes, Commander Wolffe.
How have you been, sir? We have been on quite an adventure.
Well, I'm certain Wolffe would love to hear about it.
Uh, actually, sir - Excellent! It's a long story.
- Uh - And you won't believe it.
Sir, excuse me I hardly believe it myself.
It all started when
On a peaceful relief mission to the planet Aleen, R2-D2 and C-3PO were caught up in an adventure beyond their comprehension.
After finally resolving the crisis and being taken to Jedi Master Adi Gallia's cruiser, they now head home toward the safety of the Republic, hoping to avoid a Separatist attack.
And Mistress Padmé, you would not believe the adventures Artoo and I had on that troubled planet of Aleen.
We have been in the most absurd situations.
I could never compute.
Well, I told you, Threepio, it's a big universe out there, beyond the few million planets you know.
And obviously, for the most part, quite uncivilized.
I hope never to end up on a mission of that nature again.
Good.
I need you here to supervise the senatorial banquet.
It was pushed up and is only two days away.
Oh, my! They've hit the main reactor, prepare to evacuate.
Non-essential personnel evacuate immediately.
Non-essential personnel evacuate immediately.
Did you hear that? We've got to get out of here.
It's General Grievous! Artoo, where are you going? We need to find an escape pod.
All pilots to your stations.
All flight crews, man your stations.
Move to your stations! All flight crews, man your stations.
R2-D2, get down from there at once.
This is not an escape pod.
Well, if there's nothing better, I suppose, it will just have to do.
I'm sure I will live to Artoo, you should know I have total confidence in your skills as a pilot, provided you can avoid these star cruisers.
Oh, my! Avoid them the other way! Artoo, do something! Get us out of here! They're right behind us! We've been hit! Ah! Right on target! Well done, Artoo.
Oh, no! The reactor was hit, it's shutting down.
We'll disintegrate for sure.
Fixable? This scrap pile? Without the tools, this ship is utterly useless! I suppose, we could get out and have a look around.
Oh, really.
You see, not even a ladder.
Utterly useless! Utterly! Look, look! Over there! - Intruders! - Oh! - Shiny! - It's shiny! Intruders! Did you hear that? Whoever you are, please note that my counterpart here is programmed in 47 schools of self-defense.
There, I've frightened them off.
Fear not, Artoo, just little creatures.
Can't possibly damage us! Oh! Oh! Oh! Get the Big Hay-Zu.
He'll know what to do.
Really! May I say that this is no way to treat a friendly visitor to your planet.
The Big Hay-Zu says there are no friendly visitors.
This Hay-Zu doesn't sound very reasonable.
We do what he says, whatever he says, for our own good.
Your own good? He sends our children to fight his wars, the lucky ones.
What does he do to the unlucky ones? So, you are the intruders? Intruders? Oh, hardly, Your Worshipful-ness! We are On this planet, things are what Hay-Zu says they are! Quiet, Artoo.
What's this? Your friend challenges Big Hay-Zu's authority! Sir, my disagreeable friend here means no disrespect.
We are just trying to get back to our home planet, but our ship is damaged.
And I fear, repaired or not, that further travel in it might not result in our arrival there unscathed.
That's the chance you'll have to take.
Now get off my planet while I'm in a good mood, or I'll have you dismembered and sold for scrap.
Free them! Ah, big talk for a small droid! Artoo, have your sensors frozen? I am not going to let you at him! In fact, I'm going to switch you off before you cause an intergalactic incident.
Oh, my! You just killed him.
Dead.
He's dead.
The Big Hay-Zu is dead.
You must understand this was an accident, a terrible accident.
He's dead! He's dead! The Big Hay-Zu is dead! He's dead! He's dead! The Big Hay-Zu is dead! Gold one, we have a proposition.
We wish you not to leave, but for you to stay, as our new leader.
A lot you know, you over-stuffed barrel of bolts.
I could be a leader.
I am honored by your consideration but you should choose a leader from among your own.
None of us has killed Hay-Zu.
None of us have earned the title.
Terminating the big one does not anoint me leader.
You must choose.
Now, who are the three smartest, most intelligent, most understanding, most compassionate? You should choose a leader from among these three.
Who thinks he should be leader? Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
And this young lady? Yeah! Lastly, him.
Yeah! Congratulations! You are now a democracy.
- I got more votes than he did.
- No, you didn't! - Sit down! It was me! It was me! - I got the most votes.
- That is not true.
- Ridiculous! No! No, it was me.
I heartily agree.
Is the ship ready? Then we'll just have to risk it, and leave them to build their happy democracy, on their own.
I got the votes! Down with democracy! Yes, I'm reading the gauges.
I have nothing to do but read gauges.
Why? What do the gauges say? Running out of power? The ship and us, too! Oh, I knew we should never have left the Jedi cruiser.
Another planet? According to the positional system coordinates, this is Balnab, a stellar remnant in its emerging stages of organic development.
I've heard terrible stories about these primitive planets.
I dare not imagine what is beginning to swim in their primordial soups.
I know we have to find power.
But do we have to find it out there? Afraid? Of course I'm not afraid.
I am now.
Quickly, see if your scanners can find a viable power source.
Yes, me, too.
Life forms? What kind? They appear to be humanoid and completely devoid of intelligence.
Artoo, make a dash for it! What are they? Bring them.
The leader will know.
Another leader? Oh! I do hope this one is more understanding.
My fault! Ha! I should have known.
Who dares come to my land? Just two wandering droids searching to find their home! Droids? What are droids? Well, kind sir, droids are mechanical beings possessing artificial intelligence, designed to make - Silence! - At once, sir.
Your Sir-ness, being silent is one of my specialties.
Who dares to bring these non-living things before me? It was I who brought them.
I thought that How unfortunate.
No one thinks here but me! Artoo, be quiet.
This situation calls for my most delicate diplomatic skills.
Please excuse my insolent friend, Your Eminence-ness, but I know a holographic image I know not of your blasphemy.
Perhaps "holographic" is the incorrect word in your native tongue, but it is obvious that you are not real.
Not real! I'll show you not real! Hey, what are you doing back here? I said what are you doing back here? Back where? Help you? Whereabouts We're not gonna help you.
We worked hard to keep these mindless organics enslaved.
And if you want to order someone around, get your own organics.
Oh, yeah! And just how is an astromech unit going to make our loyal subjects rebel? Uh-oh.
Oh, my! Oi, get them! Uh-oh, again! Artoo! It's time to leave but we still need to recharge.
Here they come! They're coming for us.
We're done for! They're gonna kill us! Run for it! It's all your fault, Artoo, all your fault.
Whatever will we do now? Artoo, I'm talking to you.
Please don't mumble.
Artoo, you're almost out of power.
Here, rest.
Me? I have 1.
723% left in my power core.
I thought for sure you would have figured something out by now.
You're usually so good at that sort of thing.
Oh, Artoo, don't leave me, please.
Rest, my friend.
I will be joining you soon.
That Republic Y-wing is a great prize.
Do you think there are any Jedi around? Don't worry.
We be takin' off before anyone realizes we've landed.
What have we here? Looks like two droids that ran out of power.
Lookie, lookie here.
Come to papa.
There you go.
This should be a fun one.
Who would rescue us? Master Anakin? Artoo, you're recharged.
I'm recharged! We survived.
Where are we? Pirates? Oh, my.
What are they cheering for? Oh, goodness gracious me! Soon it will be us.
Oh, my stars! Oh, no! General, we've come across what appears to be a pirate ship.
Use that ship for target practice.
Open fire! All forward cannons open fire.
Battle stations! Oh, my! Go get him, Artoo.
Oh, no, we'll never get back to the ship! We surrender.
We surrender! Uh, where did you come from? They must be pirate droids.
Pirate droids! You're under arrest.
Pirate droids? We're not pirate droids.
We are part of the Republic.
Oh, yes, we are pirate droids.
That is what we thought.
Send them off to the incinerator room with the rest of the pirate scum.
The incinerator room? Yes.
You will be melted down for General Grievous' war machine.
This is terrible.
No! No! Oh, this trip has been nothing but calamity all the way.
Thanks for the rescue, Master Plo.
General Grievous has fled.
Very good! Finish off the remaining droids.
We're Republic.
We belong to Senator Amidala.
Don't shoot.
Don't shoot! I can't believe it.
You know these droids, Commander Wolffe? Yes, sir.
We transported them to Master Gallia's ship after we left the planet Aleen.
Yes, Commander Wolffe.
How have you been, sir? We have been on quite an adventure.
Well, I'm certain Wolffe would love to hear about it.
Uh, actually, sir - Excellent! It's a long story.
- Uh - And you won't believe it.
Sir, excuse me I hardly believe it myself.
It all started when