The Umbrella Academy (2019) s04e06 Episode Script

1
[DISCONCERTING MUSIC PULSING]
[STATIC BUZZING]
Do it, girl.
[MUSIC INTENSIFIES, TRAILS OFF]
["MAP OF THE PROBLEMATIQUE"
BY MUSE PLAYING]
[VOLUME INCREASES]
[ENTRANCING PROG ROCK PLAYING]
[ANTHEMIC GUITAR LINE BUILDING]
Fear ♪
And panic in the air ♪
I want to be free ♪
From desolation and despair ♪
And I feel like everything I sow ♪
Is being swept away ♪
Well, I refuse to let you go ♪
I can't get it right ♪
[SINGER HOLDING NOTE]
Since I met you ♪
[INTRICATE, FRENETIC GUITAR LINE]
[SONG HALTS]
[TENSE, UNEASY MUSIC PLAYING]
[CROWD MURMURING INDISTINCTLY]
Keepers.
We are nearing the moment of return
to our rightful lives.
[CROWD] Yeah!
No longer will we need
to live in the memories
of another place or another time.
[CROWD CLAMORING IN AGREEMENT]
The nonbelievers will try
to break through our lines
and stop the Cleanse.
We cannot let that happen!
[CROWD HOLLERING]
So now is the time for vigilance!
Now is the time for sacrifice!
Because, goddamn it,
we're the only effers
brave enough to see this through!
Are you with us?
[ALL YELLING] Yeah!
- Are you with us?
- [CROWD ROARING] Yeah!
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]
[OFFICER] Go, go, go!
[TIRES SCREECHING]
If we find the target,
what are your instructions?
No one takes a shot unless
I order. Is that clear?
Yes, sir.
Against my better judgment,
we'll try it your way.
How do you want to proceed?
We should talk to Jean and Gene.
Those lunatics? Waste
of time if you ask me.
There might be a way
to negotiate with them,
and at the very least,
it could buy us some time
to get Ben and Jennifer out of
there before they become the Cleanse.
Very well.
[FOREBODING MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC TRAILS OFF]
We gave 'em hell back there, didn't we?
Yeah, just like the good old days, huh?
Better than the old days.
Man, we took on the CIA
and we won, my friend.
Yeah.
I'm so ashamed I even
wanted to work there.
It's like I've been
sleepwalking through my own life.
Meanwhile, I'm married
to the hottest, smartest,
most psychotic chick on the planet.
Yeah.
And I'm an aging stripper living
alone in a condemned building.
No, whoa. Hey.
When I was playing secret agent,
who sniffed out a global conspiracy?
Ah
- I got lucky.
- Lucky?
Five couldn't do that, and he's
been working there for years.
You got a big fat win,
and no one can take that away from you.
Huh.
[FESTIVE HOLIDAY MUSIC PLAYING]
Papi's home!
Come here! Get in here!
Hi!
Hon. Hello.
You guys been good, huh?
I missed you guys so much.
Look what I got you. Shoes off.
- Huh? Oh.
- [DIEGO] Shoes off.
Look at Oh! It's
got blood. Don't worry.
Yeah, peep that, huh?
[GRUNTS] Hey, where's Lila?
[LILA'S MOM] Who knows? Like
you, she doesn't tell us anything.
- She hasn't come back?
- No.
What are you standing there
for? Come. You must be hungry.
Yes. We are starving, aren't we?
Oh, uh, could I please
borrow some clothes?
Of course!
You can take from
Cousin Ronnie's closet.
Oh!
[RONNIE] My closet?
[IN PUNJABI] I don't want these
stinky monkey legs in my pants!
I'm going to kick your ass! Get lost!
[SOMBER, MEASURED MUSIC PLAYING]
What do you want?
The boy and his girlfriend.
["GENE"] No problem.
Go ahead and get 'em,
but first, you need permission
from every man and woman here.
[JEAN] Now, it doesn't
have to be unanimous, Gene.
We could agree to a simple majority,
just to keep things sporting.
This was a waste of time.
- We should shoot every last one of them.
- You're not helping.
- ["GENE"] Typical.
- Excuse me?
Every word out of your mouth is
a perfect little pearl, right?
Not to be questioned because
you think you know best.
- Such a man's perspective.
- [JEAN SIGHS IN EXASPERATION]
I am a man.
As are you.
[CHEEKY WOODWINDS PLAYING]
Uh
Why don't you two toddle on
off to wherever you came from?
Forget even entertaining
somebody else's opinion
or respecting their wishes.
- What are you prattling on about?
- Can we please get back to my brother?
We're not giving him up.
And you never listen!
But I've got your attention now.
You're doing things my
way from here on out.
[QUIRKY STINGER]
[FOREBODING MUSIC PLAYING]
That was weird.
For once, my boy, we are
in complete agreement.
So, do you have a plan B?
["GENE" WHISTLING]
What the hell was that?
That was an unsuccessful
attempt to thwart our plans.
No. That was you acting
like a fucking lunatic!
You are overreacting.
Am I?
You clearly know that man, Gene.
- How?
- It doesn't matter.
Like hell it doesn't!
Keep your voice down.
["GENE" WHISTLING]
And what is this god-awful
song you keep whistling, Gene?
You don't even like that song.
Something's changed.
Oh.
They got to you, didn't they?
The nonbelievers.
Stop talking, Jean.
Don't you talk to me
like that, Gene Thibedeau.
I brought you into this work.
You're upsetting our followers.
I taught you the truth
[KEEPER 1] Yeah!
- about the Cleanse.
- [KEEPER 2] Right!
Without me, he'd just be some
sniveling little mama's boy
trying to finish his dissertation.
- [BLADE RINGING]
- Ah!
[CROWD GASPS]
[JARRING MUSIC DRONING]
[WEAKLY] Who are you?
[DISTRESSING MUSIC PLAYING]
You killed her.
Cunning observation, Bea.
[KEEPER 3] Why'd you do that?
Jean has betrayed us!
[KEEPER 4] But she's your wife.
["GENE"] Alas, no more.
The Cleanse is bigger
than love, my compatriots.
It's bigger than all of us!
She started the movement.
[CROWD MURMURING IN AGREEMENT]
There's a difference
between starting something
and having the spine to
see it through, Bea
no matter the cost.
Jean got cold feet!
Anybody else's feet feeling chilly?
Good.
Get back to your posts.
Might wanna give that
a light sharpening.
[MUSIC TRAILING OFF]
Everything looks normal.
It's possible they solved
the Cleanse without us.
[INDISTINCT LAUGHTER, CHATTER]
Hey, you good?
It's been seven years since I've
seen my kids, Five. I'm scared.
What are you scared of?
That they won't love
me like they did before.
Hey. It's only been
a few hours for them.
Nothing's changed.
You promise?
Yeah. Promise.
[DOOR OPENS]
You're back!
We are.
Good. Yeah. I was
starting to get worried.
[RUEFUL, INTROSPECTIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
What?
[DIEGO] Oh, I don't know. I
I missed you.
- You did?
- Yeah! I mean, why wouldn't I?
It's just, I I can't remember
the last time you said that.
[DIEGO] Yeah.
Sorry about that.
That's gonna change.
Lot of things are gonna change now.
[GRACE] Mommy's home!
[BITTERSWEET, POIGNANT MUSIC PLAYING]
[LILA BREATHING TREMULOUSLY] Oh my god.
[SOBBING, LAUGHING SOFTLY]
You can let go of me now, Mommy.
[LILA] Just a little longer.
[GRACE] But you're squishing my face.
Why are you crying?
I'm just so happy to see you.
[DIEGO] You okay?
Yeah.
[DIEGO] Come here!
Oh!
It smells so nice in
here. Hey! How's it going?
Oh! Yo, yo, yo! Shoes.
Oh, sorry.
- Wait, what's with the dirt?
- [KLAUS] Oh, yeah.
Allison and Claire Bear
had to dig me out of the
grave of a dead greyhound.
Is anyone hungry?
My God, I could eat a horse.
- Hey, family.
- Long story.
[SPRIGHTLY, SWEET MUSIC PLAYING]
Hello. Oh, hi. Uh
[KLAUS] I'm famished. If I
can get a little sandwich
[LILA] It's so good to see you.
You too.
[KLAUS] Oh my God.
- Oh my God.
- Shoes.
[LILA] Hi!
Okay.
Cinco, you coming?
- Yeah. I'm right behind you.
- All right. Take your shoes off.
[INDISTINCT, ANIMATED CHATTER]
My team is in position,
ready to fire on your command.
Hold your horses there,
Rambo. I'm gonna go in.
Don't be ridiculous.
Even with your powers,
you'd be overwhelmed by the
sheer number of those extremists.
There's one less of
them to worry about now.
- Who?
- Jean.
With a G?
With a J.
- Husband gutted her like a trout.
- What?
Some people just aren't
cut out for marriage.
You see?
I gave you an opportunity to
resolve this issue. You failed.
Now we do it my way.
Gene was right.
You do always think
you know what's best.
- If you get a sight on Ben, take the shot.
- What? No!
Excuse me.
I saved your life
back there on the road.
You owe me the chance to talk to Ben.
You have 15 minutes,
but I fail to see how you
intend to breach that mob.
I need to borrow a
tire iron and a Sharpie.
[TENSE, UNEASY MUSIC PLAYING]
[KEEPER] Heads up!
Hey, hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Hey, who the fuck are you, dude?
- Whoa! Hold on a second!
[TENSE MUSIC PULSING]
[MUSIC SUBSIDES]
You're late.
My truck broke down, so I had
to hoof it the last couple miles.
That's not much of a weapon.
It was the best I could
do on short notice.
Can I join you guys?
[FRAUGHT, UNEASY MUSIC PLAYING]
Yeah.
You can post up with us at
the back of the building.
Make sure no one gets in.
Grab a spot.
I just I gotta take a piss first.
Any chance I can use the can inside?
"Can inside."
[ALL CHUCKLING]
No. Jean and Gene said
nobody goes inside.
Find a shit bucket.
Yeah, of course. No problem.
I'll just use the alley.
[GRIM, DETERMINED MUSIC PLAYING]
[VIKTOR CRIES OUT]
Like I said, nobody
goes inside, asshole!
[SCREAMING]
[JANGLY CLATTERING]
[VIKTOR] Ben! Ben!
Ben, are you in here?
Ben.
[PULPY OOZING]
[BEN] Viktor?
What are you doing here?
You need to come with me.
I'm not leaving Jennifer.
I'm gonna help you, okay? Both of
you. I need you to listen to me.
[DISTORTED] We don't need your help!
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell.
What's happening to me?
["DANCE OF THE SUGAR
PLUM FAIRY" PLAYING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER, LAUGHTER]
Hey, has anyone heard from Viktor?
Maybe he found Ben and Jennifer.
Surely he would've
called, left a message.
So we all struck out?
God, what a bunch of losers.
Well, not entirely.
Yeah.
Deputy Director Ribbons is a Keeper,
along with other agents at the CIA.
It's your boss, Five.
Yeah.
It turns out Gene and Jean also have
a bigger movement than we thought.
So we have to get to Ben and Jennifer
before they do and stop the Cleanse.
Right, but we have to find them first.
[LUTHER] Yeah. They might be anywhere.
[KLAUS] We gotta find 'em.
What's with you?
You've barely said a word,
Five. When does that ever happen?
It's called thinking, Luther.
You should try it sometime.
- Hey!
- Whoa! Uncalled for!
- Shut up.
- I do think. I think you're an asshole!
[KLAUS] Grandpa's not had his nap.
[ALLISON] Can we not do this right now?
No, you know what?
Let's do it right now.
We all struck out. There's
nothing better to do.
Five, it's gonna be okay.
It's not gonna be okay.
Oh, don't talk to my
wife like that, man.
Not around here. Not during Christmas.
You gonna do something
about it, fuckface?
- Hey!
- [ALLISON] Whoa, language!
Yeah. I'm gonna k-i-c-k
your a-s-s, my boy.
Mmm. Looks like somebody
passed the first grade.
Hey, both of you need to stop, okay?
What's that?
What's what?
That thing on your
wrist? You hate bracelets.
No, I don't.
Yeah, you do. I gave you
one for Valentine's Day.
You traded it for a
Dyson vacuum. What
Did you give her this?
Answer the question, Five.
I made it.
For her?
Well, I sure as hell
didn't make it for you.
Is something going on between you two?
- Diego
- Holy shit!
Oh wow!
- [DIEGO] Holy shit!
- What?
I didn't see that one coming.
Holy shit! I was right!
The book club. All this time.
I knew you were cheating on me with
[LILA] I wasn't cheating.
At least not when
you thought that I was.
- Should we go? We should go.
- We're not going anywhere.
Did you s-k-r-e-w my wife?
"Screw" is spelled s-c-r-e-w.
[COUGHING, SPUTTERING]
Okay, you need to
listen to me, all right?
No matter how strange
this sounds, just listen.
Five and I,
we've been lost in a subway.
[SCOFFS, LAUGHS]
It's not a regular subway.
It's a waypoint
between alternate timelines
of the same moment in time.
Yeah. Think I'm gonna buy that bullshit?
[FIVE] She's telling
the truth, all right?
We got lost. We couldn't
find our way back.
[HOARSELY] We were searching
for seven years, Diego.
[ACHING, BITTERSWEET MUSIC PLAYING]
We were moving from
timeline to timeline.
We had no idea what we would find.
We were
chased, attacked, shot at.
I never stopped trying
to find a way home.
But I got tired,
and I had to stop running.
Um, that's when it happened.
Do you love him?
Diego, now's not the
[EMPHATICALLY] Do you love him?
[BITTERSWEET MUSIC CONTINUING]
Hey, stupid grown-ups, check out the TV.
- [REPORTER] One of the occupants
- Isn't that Uncle Ben?
is a former convict
named Ben Hargreeves.
Look, look, look, look, look!
convicted in 2019
for a crypto Ponzi scheme
and served four years in Avalon
Federal Correctional Institution.
Oh, we gotta go.
Yeah.
how this armed group of protesters
is connected with Hargreeves.
Local police have yet to be able
to get close enough to the building
to make contact,
and we have no information if
Hargreeves is holding any hostages.
The Cleanse.
It's changing both of you.
Into what?
Well, I'm not sure,
but I do know that if
you stay here with her,
it's only gonna get worse.
[SIGHS]
I'm not leaving her, Viktor.
[PHONE RINGING]
That's Dad checking on us.
[DISTORTED] Don't touch it!
Please!
Please let me answer it.
It could buy us more time.
More time. More time for what?
[BLEAK, SEVERE MUSIC PLAYING]
[BEN] God.
He wants to kill you.
[PHONE STOPS RINGING]
Father of the year, that guy.
Ben, listen.
If you don't come out with me
I guarantee you
that Dad and his tactical
team will come in,
and they will kill you
and Jennifer.
And I don't want that.
I'm scared, Viktor.
Me too.
I wanna go home.
[PHONE RINGING]
- No!
- [VIKTOR GRUNTS]
[PHONE CONTINUES RINGING]
Damn it!
Pick up, boy!
[LINE RINGING]
[ENGINE REVVING]
That doesn't look good.
Quick, back down that
alley so we're out of sight.
- Diego!
- [FIVE] Back up, you idiot!
- I'm trying.
- What?
[LUTHER] What?
Come on, you piece of shit.
[RADIO WARBLES]
doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo,
baby shark ♪
- [KLAUS] What are you doing?
- Hit the brakes!
[DIEGO] I'm trying!
Mommy shark ♪
It's not working!
Come on, man! You're
gonna get us killed!
[KLAUS] Now would be an excellent
time for somebody to do something!
- [DISTORTED] Daddy shark ♪
- [HARSH METALLIC GRATING]
Oh fuck!
- Shit!
- [SONG HALTS]
- [KLAUS] God.
- [ENGINE SPUTTERING]
[ENGINE WHEEZING]
Oh.
[AWKWARDLY] Hey.
For the love of God, shoot 'em.
[LUTHER] Go! Go! Go!
Hey! I just replaced those!
Maybe you shouldn't have
cheaped out on the brakes.
To be fair, new ceramic
pads on a vehicle this old
is not a good investment.
Stop yapping and start doing!
Like what? There's too many of them!
Five, do the blinky and
get us into the store.
That doesn't work anymore.
You gotta try, Five.
I can't, all right?
I'll mimic your power.
We'll do it together.
You're not doing anything with him.
You know we're gonna
end up in the subway.
Do not think about the past.
If you're gonna do something,
now would be the time.
- Yeah!
- Your family needs you.
I need you.
Seriously?
[LUTHER] What the
- What is that?
- What?
[ALLISON] God, I think it's Ben!
- Stay where you are!
- Viktor, you're hurt. Come here.
No, I'm fine! Just don't touch Ben!
[HARSH, GRATING WHEEZING]
[ALLISON] Is that Jennifer?
Get away from him!
[VIKTOR] Ben, please.
Please let me help you.
[DISTORTED] Leave now.
I I can't control it.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] I
don't wanna hurt you.
[AGENT] This is Sniper Team 1.
I got eyes on the target.
[ENERGY CRACKLING, HUMMING]
[DETERMINED, DIRE MUSIC PLAYING]
- [LUTHER] What's he doing?
- [ALLISON] He's pulling out the durango.
Viktor, let him go!
I can save him!
[DIRE MUSIC TAPERS OFF]
[WHOOSHING, PULSING]
[AGENT] We are out of time, sir.
Take the shot.
[INTENSE, DISTRESSING MUSIC PLAYING]
[INTRICATE, SOMBER VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYING]
[ENERGY CRACKLES]
[MUSIC TRAILS OFF]
[BEN GROANS]
[SPARE, SORROWFUL PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
Tango down.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER RADIO]
[WRENCHING, DISTRAUGHT MUSIC PLAYING]
[NOISOME CHIRRING]
[WET RUSTLING]
[SLICK SLITHERING]
[GUTTURAL GROWLING]
[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
[GROWLING IN DISTANCE]
It's happening.
[INTENSE, ROUSING MUSIC PLAYING]
It's happening!
[DISTANT GROWL]
- What the hell was that?
- The Cleanse. It's here.
Don't be afraid!
[KLAUS] Oh God.
Oh my God!
Ben.
[LUTHER] Ah shit! We gotta get
that thing away from Viktor.
- What if we hurt it?
- Doesn't matter.
- They might still be alive.
- What?
[FIVE] We should get to cover.
- Oh shit!
- Allison, wait!
[LUTHER] Oh God.
[LUTHER] Let's go! Over here! Over here!
Come on! Whoo, yeah!
That's right! Come on! Come
get these legs and eggs, baby!
What are you doing, big
guy? What are you doing?
I'm trying to start a fight. Hey,
come on, assface. Come on! Hey!
[THE CLEANSE BELLOWS SHRILLY]
Klaus!
- Hey!
- I can fly now.
Oh, it hurts.
- Hey. Hey, pal, how you doing?
- I'm okay.
- Okay, I gotcha.
- I'm okay.
[LILA] Holy fuck!
Okay, that didn't work.
- Eye lasers?
- Yeah, yeah.
Aim for the tanks.
[LOW, ROLLING BELLOW]
Is it supposed to get bigger?
I'm here, I'm here!
Get away from me, kid.
We almost got killed!
Stay away from my wife!
I've really had enough of this shit.
It's really big and scary.
Okay.
Allison!
What are you doing?
My turn.
[BEN, DISTORTED] Allison!
- [LILA] What are you waiting for?
- It's Ben.
Not anymore.
Allison, watch out!
No!
Oh my God!
Come on. We gotta get up.
Come on!
All right. That's it.
[INTENSE, ROUSING MUSIC CONTINUING]
Pick on someone your own
size, you giant piece of shit.
Uh, a little help?
My hand is stuck in his ass.
- Let's do this?
- Okay.
[MUSIC SWELLING]
[LURID SHRIEK]
It's not working!
[HOWLS]
[LILA] Will this thing
ever stop growing?
Stop fighting each other
when we're about to be killed!
- [FIVE] I wanna kill him.
- It's over, Five.
Shit.
[CROWD CLAMORING]
Allison.
Allison!
[VIKTOR] You good?
[KLAUS] Is she still breathing?
- Barely.
- [LILA] There she is.
[KLAUS] Is she alive? Allison?
Oh wow.
What now?
We gotta get the hell out of here
and figure out how to kill that thing.
- Let's go.
- [KLAUS] Let's go. All right, come on.
All right. On your feet.
[SUBWAY APPROACHING]
[PA SYSTEM CHIMES]
[WARPED VOICE SPEAKING
BACKWARDS OVER PA]
[MELANCHOLY, RESIGNED MUSIC PLAYING]
[AGENT] Let's move out, Sergeant.
It's time to evacuate, sir.
On the contrary, it's time
to face the inevitable.
Goodbye, Gary. Thank
you for your service.
[GARY] Let's roll out!
[CROWD SCREAMING IN PANIC]
Why did I wait to take the shot?
Because maybe you are
a good man, after all.
You pathetic, self-deluded zealot.
Do you have any idea what you've done?
Yeah.
I ended the world.
[REGINALD SCOFFS]
[PERSON] Shoot it!
[SCREAMS CONTINUING IN DISTANCE]
And that's a good thing, my love.
Who are you?
[STATELY, INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING]
Abigail.
You did this?
You left me no choice.
But why?
Dying was my penance for
creating something so deadly.
This
Cleanse.
Wasn't it enough to
see our world destroyed?
Why would you loose it on this one?
[REGINALD] Because I was
so lonely without you.
I didn't ask to be brought back to life.
That was an act of love.
No, Reginald.
It was hubris.
Your actions had
consequences far greater
than anything you could imagine.
And it was my duty to set it right.
So,
it was you who thwarted all my plans
to keep Ben and Jennifer apart.
[ABIGAIL SIGHS]
I was wrong.
And you made it right.
Well done, my love.
Well done.
[SOMBER, STOIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[SHRILL, PIERCING SHRIEK]
[SUBWAY TRACKS GRATING SHRILLY]
["DEAD TO THE WORLD" BY NOEL
GALLAGHER'S HIGH FLYING BIRDS PLAYING]
[SOULFUL, MELANCHOLY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
I can lend you a dream ♪
'Til we meet again ♪
I'm dead to the world ♪
I don't know where I've been ♪
And if you say so ♪
I'll bend over backwards for love ♪
I can lend you a dream ♪
'Til we meet again ♪
I'm dead to the world ♪
I don't know where I've been ♪
[SONG TRAILS OFF]
[BRAKES SCREECH]
[FOOTSTEPS CLAMBERING]
[QUIZZICAL, INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING]
Hey, wait!
["AIN'T IT A SHAME" BY
FATS DOMINO PLAYING FAINTLY]
[BOLD, ROLLICKING ROCK
MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY]
Ain't that a shame ♪
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
You're the one to blame ♪
You broke my heart ♪
When you said we'll part ♪
[WAITER] There you go!
Our specials
[BOOTH FIVE] Hey, you. Over here.
[OTHER FIVE] Can someone
get Drunk Five out of here?
What is this place?
It's a gas station. The hell
does it look like? It's a deli.
[NEWSPAPER FIVE CHUCKLES]
[WAITER FIVE] Coffee.
And two pastrami.
Bon appétit.
It's a little light
on the sauerkraut, no?
Yeah, it says it on the menu. I keep
telling him, but he never listens.
Sorry.
It's not your fault.
Theoretically, it is.
Oh, you're not gonna like that.
So I take it you figured
out the subway system by now.
Alternate versions of
the same moment in time?
That is correct.
You'd be surprised how long it took
some of the Fives to figure that out.
We're all you from alternate timelines.
Most of us here have given
up trying to fix the problem.
What problem?
The broken timeline, man.
There's only supposed to be one.
[ENIGMATIC, SONOROUS MUSIC PLAYING]
I don't get it. I
Look around, Five. Does
this seem right to you?
No, but
You think Einstein was thinking of this
when he was figuring out relativity?
Not a chance. This shit
woulda made his head explode.
Okay. So what shattered
the original timeline?
Not "what." "Who."
And I will give you three
guesses to figure it out.
We did!
Why you always gotta
wreck shit, Brisket Five?
Why?
By "we," he means the
family. My siblings?
The morons, yeah.
I'm familiar with them. Yeah.
One perfect timeline, and the moment
we come into existence boom!
Shattered to an infinite
number of alternate timelines
in an infinite loop of time
as we try and save the world
How many times was it again?
145,412.
That's a lot.
He's like Rain Man, that
one. He loves numbers.
Oh, by the way, check out the artwork.
It's all the different ways
we've made our universe go kaboom.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
Gold star for consistency, am I right?
We need to fix this.
Oh, trust me. We've tried.
That's why one of us
created the Commission.
He wanted to undo all
the broken timelines.
Get back to the one and only.
But that always fails because
[SIGHS] The family is the problem.
We're doomed to save
or destroy the world
over and over again, ad infinitum.
Bingo.
Bingo.
Sorry. I need to get back to my
family. Stop this from ever happening.
Well, good luck with that.
Guess you don't want your brisket to go?
[ENIGMATIC MUSIC SWELLS]
[THE CLEANSE BELLOWING]
Thank God. Hello.
[CLAIRE] Mom!
[ALLISON] I'm okay.
Go with your cousins.
- No. I'm not leaving you.
- Claire, please.
Come on. Let's go.
Claire? We'll take care of her.
Just can you and the
others just stay here, okay?
Just one second. One second.
[OVERLAPPING CONFUSED CHATTER]
All right, on the couch.
[DIEGO] How do we beat a thing
that everything we
throw at it, it gets
it gets bigger and it gets stronger?
Well, we can't.
It's only a matter of time
before it envelops everything.
So the world's ending again, huh?
[KLAUS] Hey! Great timing. Great timing.
Hey.
- Five.
- [KLAUS] Five!
Why'd you come back, buddy?
Things are pretty bleak here.
Trust me. I wasn't planning on it.
Fortunately, I had a, uh,
long and eye-opening
conversation with myself.
What?
We are the reason
that this is happening.
You care to elaborate?
The marigold that infected our
mothers, bringing forth our births
[POIGNANT MUSIC PLAYING]
[FIVE] had an
unexpected side effect.
It shattered the timeline,
and it broke it into an infinite
number of alternate timelines.
The timelines are
bleeding into each other.
That's how the Keepers were
able to find those artifacts.
Holy shit. Gene and Jean were right.
Their dreams of other
timelines were real.
[FIVE] So we need to go
back to the original timeline
before the other ones were created.
Am I the only one who's
very, very, very confused?
Nope.
That's what Ben was trying to show me.
What does Ben have to do with this?
Back at the department store,
when I was trying to pull the
durango from his body, I had a vision.
I think he was trying to
show me the original timeline.
He tried to kill you.
But he didn't. He pushed
me away to save me.
I think he was trying
to tell me something.
That the Cleanse isn't a bad thing.
[LUTHER SCOFFS] You're saying that thing
that destroys everything it
comes into contact with is good?
I think so? I
We need to let the
marigold in our bodies
merge with the durango
inside the Cleanse.
They should cancel each other out.
Okay. Then what happens to us?
We cease to exist.
[KLAUS SPUTTERING]
Old Klaus might have been down
for some recreational hara-kiri,
but it turns out that I'm
really not into killing myself,
so, uh, count me out.
Actually, it's not killing
ourselves. It's worse than that.
We'll be erased from history.
Okay, what about the other timelines?
They will never have
existed. None of us will.
No one will have any
memory of this or us.
[BITTERSWEET, WISTFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
Does anyone else not like this plan?
If we cease to exist, what
happens to our families?
I'm not sure.
Wait. No, I I don't like
where this is going, Five.
Come on, Five. There
has to be another way.
There isn't.
[KLAUS] Take it easy, all right?
Lila, why don't you take the family
to that crazy subway of yours.
You save them save yourself.
- No, she can't do that.
- I'm not talking to you, Five.
All the marigold needs
to be destroyed, Diego.
If Lila isn't here when the
Cleanse comes, it just restarts.
Yeah, well, good thing
it's her decision, isn't it?
Yeah.
I'm staying with my mom.
Claire Bear.
- No.
- Mom, I'm staying.
No. You have to go with Lila, okay?
No. I'd rather die here with
you than not remember you.
No.
Claire.
I need you to live okay?
I need you to live and experience
all of the amazing things that
this world has to offer you, okay?
- I'll forget you, Mom.
- No.
We don't know that.
Okay? We don't know that.
What I do know is you
have to go with Lila.
No, I can't.
Hey, listen to Mom, Claire Bear.
Every time I do, things turn out okay.
Hey, look at me.
Look at me.
I will always be a part of you.
Always.
Even if you don't remember me.
You'll always be my
beautiful, smart girl.
Okay?
[DELICATE, ACHING MUSIC PLAYING]
[SHAKILY] Come here. I love you.
[CLAIRE] Love you too.
[CLAIRE WEEPING]
- Okay.
- [ALLISON] You have to go.
- [CLAIRE] No. No.
- [ALLISON] Baby, you have to go.
Let's go. Get the family together, okay?
Lila, Lila, wait.
Look, I don't wanna sound
like an asshole here,
but if Five is right, you
leaving is not a good thing.
He's right. You can't go.
[STIFLED SOBBING]
- Watch me.
- [LUTHER] Lila!
[LILA] Okay. Come on, everyone.
Stand around me, okay?
Lila, don't do this.
Hold onto me.
[LILA] All right, come on!
[YELLING IN PUNJABI]
can wait here! Yeah!
All right!
Sweetheart. Okay?
[IN PUNJABI] Where are we going?
I'll tell you when we get there.
Where are we going?
Somewhere safe, angel, okay?
- [FAMILY MEMBER 1 SPEAKING IN PUNJABI]
- [FIVE] Lila.
[FAMILY MEMBER 2] What's he doing here?
Can you just keep everyone together?
- [LILA] Don't try to stop me.
- Lila, please.
I can't leave them. What
if they don't make it?
Then they don't make it.
[SUBWAY APPROACHING]
If you go with them, then
this whole thing starts over.
It doesn't end until all the
marigold inside us is gone.
You don't know that.
Yeah, I do.
You do too.
You have to let them go.
[IN PUNJABI] Lila, the train
is here! What should we do?
[WRENCHING, DISTRAUGHT MUSIC PLAYING]
I'm sorry.
Okay, come on. Come on, everyone.
What are you waiting for?
Come on, come on, come on!
Mom!
No, Lila!
[FAMILY CLAMORING]
- [FAMILY MEMBER] Lila!
- [GRACE] Mommy!
[LILA] It's okay, love.
I'll see you soon, okay?
[FAMILY CRYING OUT] Lila!
Make sure you read to
Gracie every night, okay?
[GRACE] Mommy!
And don't let the twins fight!
[URGENT, SWEEPING MUSIC PLAYING]
It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay.
It's gonna be okay.
[BITTERSWEET, RESIGNED MUSIC PLAYING]
I hate you for this. [SOBS]
I know.
I hate you. I hate you for this.
[LUTHER] So, uh now what?
[VIKTOR] Guess we just wait.
I'm sorry, guys.
If I'd have known we were gonna
die here, I would have cleaned up.
Well, at least your
laundry's clean. I mean
Actually, it's not.
[MONSTROUS BAYING IN DISTANCE]
[SHRILL SHRIEKING]
[KLAUS] It looks angry.
What gives you that impression?
[CHUCKLES DRYLY]
The kids?
Yeah, they're safe.
And Claire.
Think they're gonna be okay?
Yeah.
My family will take care of them.
She'll never be alone.
So
we gonna do this thing?
[THUNDEROUS STRIDE CRASHING]
[STEELY, RESOLUTE MUSIC PLAYING]
All right. Moving!
Come on. Let's go.
[KLAUS] Quickly.
[GUTTURAL BELLOWING]
[KLAUS] Oh God, I loved those windows.
- All right.
- Doesn't matter anymore.
Well, maybe we should
go around the circle
and, you know,
share our favorite moments together.
What?
Barf.
- Let's not do that.
- That's a bad idea.
- Yeah, it's terrible.
- That's a terrible idea.
Yeah, bad call.
Okay, so what do we do?
Just power up, I guess.
You feel strong enough for this?
Yeah.
I think so.
[KEEN, CLEAR RESONANCE]
[STEADY, EMOTIONAL PIANO LINE PLAYING]
[KLAUS SHUDDERS]
Ugh, I'm feeling
[DIEGO] Okay.
Now what?
Now we wait.
[METHODICAL PIANO LINE CONTINUING]
[BOOMING STRIDE IN DISTANCE]
[DISTORTED EXPLOSION ECHOING]
I'm sorry you left Canada for this.
I'm not.
This is where I'm supposed to be
with my family.
You were right.
Don't.
I see you.
I finally see you.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
I know.
[HOARSE GROWLING]
[FLESHY OOZING]
[INTRICATE SYMPHONIC LINES UNFOLDING]
- Uh
- [KLAUS YELPING]
Five?
Don't fight it. Let it
take you. Just let it go.
Whoo! It stings.
[LUTHER] Yeah.
I know. Right, buddy?
Hold on, okay?
It's almost over.
[SOLEMN, EXPANSIVE VIOLIN LINE PLAYING]
[WINCING] Ah!
Thank you for letting me
be in your weird family.
Oh God, I'm gonna miss you guys.
I'm just glad we're
all together in the end.
No more legs and eggs, eh?
Maybe we'll see each other again.
That would be nice.
You know, I just wanna say
I love you guys
but you are all assholes.
Fuck you.
[CHUCKLES]
[EPIC, UNCANNY MUSIC BUILDING]
[ERRATIC AUDIO DISTORTION]
[POIGNANT, STIRRING MUSIC PLAYING]
[EMOTIONAL VIOLIN ARRANGEMENT BUILDING]
[DISTORTION RUSHES]
["I THINK WE'RE ALONE NOW" BY TOMMY
JAMES AND THE SHONDELLS PLAYING]
[GROOVY, JOYFUL ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
Children, behave ♪
That's what they say
when we're together ♪
And watch how you play ♪
They don't understand ♪
And so we're running
just as fast as we can ♪
Holding on to one another's hand ♪
Trying to get away into the night ♪
And then you put your arms around me ♪
As we tumble to the
ground and then you say ♪
I think we're alone now ♪
There doesn't seem
to be anyone around ♪
I think we're alone now ♪
The beating of our
hearts is the only sound ♪
Look at the way ♪
We gotta hide what we're doing ♪
'Cause what would they say ♪
If they ever knew ♪
And so we're running
just as fast as we can ♪
Holding on to one another's hand ♪
Trying to get away into the night ♪
And then you put your arms around
me as we tumble to the ground ♪
And then you say ♪
[REGINALD] On the twelfth hour
of the eighth day of August 2024,
absolutely nothing out
of the ordinary occurred.
You might say
it was just a normal day.
[SONG HALTS]
["THIS MUST BE THE PLACE (NAIVE
MELODY)" BY THE TALKING HEADS PLAYING]
[STRIPPED-DOWN, EMOTIONAL
NEW WAVE MUSIC PLAYING]
Home is where I want to be ♪
Pick me up and turn me around ♪
I feel numb, born with a weak heart ♪
I guess I must be having fun ♪
The less we say about it, the better ♪
We'll make it up as we go along ♪
Feet on the ground, head in the sky ♪
It's okay, I know nothing's wrong ♪
Nothing ♪
Oh, I got plenty of time ♪
Oh, you got light in your eyes ♪
And you're standing here beside me ♪
I love the passing of time ♪
Never for money, always for love ♪
Cover up and say goodnight ♪
Say goodnight ♪
Home is where I want to be ♪
But I guess I'm already there ♪
I come home, she lifted up her wings ♪
I guess that this must be the place ♪
I can't tell one from another ♪
Did I find you or you find me? ♪
There was a time before we were born ♪
If someone asks,
this is where I'll be ♪
Where I'll be ♪
Oh, we drift in and out ♪
Oh, sing into my mouth ♪
Out of all those kinds of people ♪
You got a face with a view ♪
I'm just an animal
looking for a home ♪
And share the same
space for a minute or two ♪
And you love me 'til my heart stops ♪
Love me 'til I'm dead ♪
Eyes that light up ♪
Eyes look through you ♪
Cover up the blank spots ♪
Hit me on the head, I go ♪
[SWEET, SOULFUL VOCALIZING]