The West Wing s04e06 Episode Script
Game On
Previously on The West Wing: C.
J.
Cregg was getting threats.
We put an agent on her.
He walked into the middle of an armed robbery.
Crime.
Boy, I don't know.
Think the strike against me is nobody likes the smartest kid in the class? It's not a strike unless you watch it sail by.
You're weak, you're liberal.
And you can't be trusted.
Horton Wilde's had a heart attack.
The Democrats have nominated someone who's had three heart attacks? If you're wondering: "Crime.
Boy, I don't know," is when I decided to kick your ass.
- A crisis of confidence? - Yeah.
- I don't understand.
- I was on the helicopter and he's second guessing himself.
He's revising answers in his head I know.
When I left him he was ready.
I don't understand.
- He's ready.
You can see it.
- Not this morning.
This isn't supposed to happen with you.
- Christians? - Yes.
What happened to"steady as she goes"? A smart guy said presidential elections are won and lost on 1 square foot of real estate.
- Up here.
- Well, that's great.
- Yeah.
- We still got a day before he debates.
We'll go back to school.
I think that's just gonna pour gas on the problem.
- What do you wanna do? - We got a two-minute drill.
I think whatever answers he gives, we should just say: "That's terrific, Mr.
President.
" - What's the point of the drill? - We got five scheduled before tomorrow.
- We're using one for this.
- This is crazy.
I don't believe this.
-"That's terrific, Mr.
President.
" - All right.
- Leo.
- Listen, we're gonna do something in the drill right now.
- What? - No notes, just positive reinforcement.
- Why? He has a problem this morning.
All right.
Leo, I've got a 9:30 flight.
I'll be there sometime after lunch.
- You can't do this with a phone call? - Oh, God, I don't know.
The man died.
There's a widow.
We're asking them to pack.
I'm an hour away in a rental car.
We didn't make it personal - All right.
I just need you in San Diego.
- Josh.
We're still looking for 10 words.
- I'm still looking for them too.
- Ten words, 10 words.
Let's go.
We're gonna expand the field.
No notes during this drill.
That's you too.
- What's that? - No notes during the drill.
- Why? - He's in his head.
- There's important feedback in the drills.
- We've got four more.
- We've got one on the plane.
- When's Debbie starting? The president sent her to the Maxwell School for a three-day crash course.
You got a $ 10 bill on your clipboard.
- Yeah, I owe it to someone.
- You can all go on in.
Thank you.
- Ten words.
- We don't have them yet, Mr.
President.
All right, let's do a drill.
Despite a rise in tension, you've held up funding for a missile defense shield.
Too much money for too little protection.
Next.
You oppose a system that would offer children a choice of schools.
That would offer some a choice of schools.
I haven't given up on better schools for everybody.
Vouchers drain money from that goal.
This next question's on capital punishment, which you oppose.
If your daughter was raped and murdered would you wanna see the man responsible put to death? It's important to understand the president doesn't make that decision.
Though he appoints Supreme Court justices who do so.
Why? Any All right.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'll just go right to No, I don't.
I think you know that I'm opposed Let's not do that.
I haven't seen any evidence that it's a deterrent.
And there are more effective - In my state - Oh, my God.
What? You weren't kidding.
What's the matter with you? When I left you I just mentioned your daughter being murdered.
And you're giving us an answer that's not only soporific, it's barely human.
Yes, you'd wanna see him put to death.
You'd want it to be cruel and unusual.
Which is why it's a good idea that fathers of murder victims don't have legal rights in these situations.
Now we're going back to school.
Let's go, 10 bucks.
Crisis of confidence.
You did 1 square foot of real estate? - Yes, I did.
- Ten bucks for you.
And you, you big bear, come to me.
I'm gonna kiss you right on the mouth.
- Ten bucks.
- Anything else, sir.
- Work hard.
- Thank you, sir.
- Thank you.
- Thank you, Mr.
President.
- Have a safe flight.
- I'll see you in San Diego.
Sorry about that.
It was the president's idea.
He bet us you couldn't stay quiet if he gave a bad answer.
- What? - He's ready.
- Excuse me.
- Hang on one second.
Can he do Inside Politics tomorrow? He can do it on tape, but we're downtown at 5.
Let me talk to them.
- Yes.
- I'm Sam Seaborn.
I'm here to see William Bailey.
Okay.
Hey, William Bailey.
Bill Bailey.
I just got that.
Mention it to him.
He's probably never heard that reference.
- It's Will.
-"Merry Christmas you old Building and Loan.
" That's George Bailey.
Well, why don't we get him.
- Will! - Will? Good to see you.
Be with you in a second.
Darren and Sharon, where are you? Good, but don't use the words"waiting period.
" The point was to support a stricter waiting period for handguns.
Waiting period sounds like an inconvenience.
Keeping guns away from felons is a national necessity.
Have you called on the ballot initiatives? - Hi.
- Hi.
Sam Seaborn.
Sure.
Will Bailey.
You wanna come inside? - Will, you got like, two minutes.
- Yeah.
There's a press conference.
I've been trying to study a little.
I met your assistant.
She's funny.
She's attractive.
I hope I'm not inappropriate.
I have an assistant? - Well, somebody who works here.
- Yeah.
First things first.
I bring the condolences of the White House on your loss.
On Mrs.
Wilde's loss, I should say.
Everybody's.
And you ran a strong campaign for the candidate.
You should be proud.
Thank you.
- You know why I came here? - It's not to tell me I ran a strong campaign and should be proud.
- It's not, though you did and you should.
- And I will once it's over.
- It's over.
- Nothing I can do about election law.
- The man's name stays on the ballot.
- Can't campaign without a candidate.
- Campaign of ideas.
- The candidate died.
But not the ideas.
The metaphor alone knocks me down.
- Elsie! - Mr.
Bailey.
- Yeah.
- I'm getting cold feet about the bow tie.
You like it, but for me, my whole world becomes about it.
- Can we rustle up a real one? - Yeah, and we have to get in the car.
The campaign's become embarrassing to us.
It's a national joke.
Sorry about that.
I got a press conference.
Sally and the suffragettes, what you got? - Oh, we did the PSA.
- Let me see.
Very nice, but do me a favor.
Read this for me.
"It doesn't matter who you vote for, make sure you vote.
" I like the sentiment but I think it does matter who you vote for.
What if it said"No matter who you vote for, make sure you vote.
" What do you think? - Good.
- Good.
- Will? - Yeah.
- I'm here for the president.
- I admire the president, Sam, I really do.
- But? - I don't work for him.
Let's go.
All right, everyone.
Thank you very much.
Carol's passing out playbooks.
Senator, we've put you on criminal justice.
- Martin, we moved you to welfare, okay.
- Sure.
There's also third-party validator information as well as names of the reporters you'll be handcuffed to.
If it's not your thing, don't try to wing it, call somebody over.
Surrogate plane leaves at 9.
See you tomorrow for pre-game.
C.
J.
, could I see you? And I need Congresswoman Wyatt for just a moment.
- Bennett's gonna spin for Ritchie.
- I could have told you that.
Hang on.
No, wait.
I did.
I find competitiveness feminine in tall women.
- On defense? - Yeah.
What the hell? Don't heckle around with me.
I got a Democrat shilling for Ritchie on defense.
I gotta get a guy.
A Republican.
This is why I'm talking to you.
You're gonna use Albie Duncan.
- He'll do it? Duncan? - Yes.
Look at me.
He's not a little bit crazy? Albie Duncan? No, no.
A little bit.
- Toby - He'll be great.
See to it.
Andy I'm crazy about the roundness of your head.
- Thank you.
Andy? - She's nervous.
- These are won and lost in the rooms.
- Not this one.
- You think so? - I know so.
- Don't get overconfident.
- That ship sailed.
Hey, you wanna know something? C.
J.
doesn't like running.
- Why not? - Believe it or not because it takes time away from helping.
- I really like that about her, don't you? - Yeah.
- Good.
Then marry me again.
- No.
What else you got? All right, let's make it interesting.
Let's add incentive.
The president wins the debate tomorrow, and you marry me again.
How about the president wins the debate, he gets elected president again.
See that's the difference between you and me.
You're smalltime.
And that's why the twins are gonna need their father around full-time.
Because your thing would be a terrible trait A terrible family trait to pass on to little Beatrice and Bluto.
I'm naming them Beatrice and Bluto now.
I don't care if they're boys or girls.
- What do you need? - Back up Albie Duncan.
- Is he crazy? - No.
No.
No.
A little bit.
No.
Look, he's Albie Duncan.
He was in the Eisenhower State Department.
He's brilliant.
He's respected.
He's a Republican.
If he's crazy, I don't wanna be sane.
- You're not.
- Excellent.
I'm out of here.
Read Gabe Tillman's speech to the Stanford Club last night.
You're gonna think you wrote it.
Only it was somebody better.
Someone who will fight for world-class schools.
Someone who will take decisions away from HMOs and give them to doctors.
Someone who will make polluters pay for the pollution they cause here.
What are your plans for the final week? Volunteers are going door-to-door.
We've got six busloads of AFT and AFL volunteers coming down.
We've got six get-out-the-vote rallies in the next six days.
- We're in this to win it.
Yeah.
- Ted Willard.
Orange County Post-Gazette.
What happens if that happens? If your candidate wins? An election will be held after no more than 90 days.
- Does the party have someone in mind? - We're vetting Wendell Wilkie.
- Seriously? - Seriously, one election at a time.
Beth.
Sixty percent of residents disagree with the Horton Wilde gun position which doesn't distinguish it from many issues important to voters.
Is the Wilde campaign out of touch? Sixty percent is six of 10 in a focus group.
We change one mind, it's a dead heat.
We change two, it's a landslide.
This campaign's a mechanism of persuasion.
We're not asking for a show of hands.
Yeah.
- June Wheeler, San Jose News.
- You're a long way from home.
- This is a fun story.
- Glad I could help.
We're all sitting here pretending this is a regular press conference.
And you're very engaging up there, but your candidate died.
So why isn't this all a little preposterous? Chuck Webb is a congressman who as chairman of not one but two commerce subcommittees has taken money from companies he regulates.
He's on the board of the NRA, once challenged another congressman to a fistfight on the floor over an amendment to make stalkers submit to background checks before buying AR-15s, AK-57s Street Sweepers, MAC-10s, MAC-lls.
He's joined protests designed to frighten pregnant women.
- What's your point? - There are worse things than no longer being alive.
You said earlier that the 47th pays more in taxes How you doing? You don't want to be in San Diego now? I'd want to be in San Diego.
I'm about to head there.
I was just at your press conference.
You guys ready? Yeah.
It's gonna be great or a disaster, nothing in between.
Good.
- So, what is this? - Our contributors gave money to Wilde.
- He's dead now.
- I know.
And that's the metaphor.
A standard-bearer for a party that's dead in every bedroom community in Southern California.
- That guy had a point.
- Who? The Post-Gazette.
He asked if we had a name.
- You want one yet? - No, not me.
Not right now.
- Kay Wilde does.
- The widow? Yeah.
She wants a Democrat to tell us privately that they'll run if he wins.
Nobody wants it.
- Do you believe they're gonna need it? - No.
Then give her Winston Churchill.
What does it matter? All right, it matters.
- What are you doing? - I swear to God I'm trying to win an election.
I'd think you, of all people, would be able to recognize it when you saw it.
All right.
All right.
I can get on the 405 if I go straight down there.
Fourth light.
Give them hell tomorrow.
All right.
- You have more events tonight, right? - Yeah.
Your tie doesn't go.
What are those stripes? They're gonna blur.
- You like the herringbone? - I think it'll glow.
- It is.
- This is the navy heraldic club.
Any other year.
They're broadcasting in HD Digital now and with the pixels Anybody, anybody have digital yet? - A solid silk rep.
Light mustard.
- Not with his coloring.
Okay.
So it's the charcoal and blue.
Yeah, it's good.
Charlie? Thanks.
- Hey, Charlie.
- Hi.
You're starting in the Oval Office.
- When do you leave? - Now.
- Good luck.
- Tell him.
- Hey.
- Good afternoon, Mr.
President.
They've chosen a tie.
It's charcoal and blue.
No, I decided to go ahead and wear my lucky tie.
You sure? This tie feels pretty lucky to me.
Then it's your lucky tie.
Why don't you get mine, we'll go to the plane.
Listen, what do you say I sit in on this meeting.
We've got time.
What do you say you get into pre-game? Let me worry about this for tonight.
- All right.
- Come here a second.
There's no such thing as too smart.
There's nothing you can do that's not gonna make me proud of you.
Eat them up.
- Game on.
- Okay.
We'll go next door.
About a week ago we stopped a Qumari ship called the Mastico on information that it was carrying - Hello.
- What do you need? Ten words, let me try two.
Defense.
"I will make America's defenses the strongest in history.
" When we say that are we comparing ourselves to Visigoths adjusted for inflation? Crime:"Some crimes are so heinous, so hateful to American values that we ought to lock the prisoners up and throw away the key.
" - Don't say yes to that one.
- Keep working.
And call me every 30 minutes.
You read Gabriel Tillman's speech at the Stanford Club? - No.
- The governor's got a new writing staff.
- Are you gonna call every 30 minutes? - Yeah.
- One more drill on the plane.
- We're gonna make you proud.
Enjoy it.
Okay.
You stopped a Qumari ship with what, Leo? Are we on another crime spree? Why don't you call? We stopped them with a warning shot from the USS Austin - Okay.
- An LPD San Antonio class warship.
The weapons were not on their way to the Qumari.
They were on their way to the Bahji.
If I can't get everyone else on board with the fact that Qumar is our enemy surely we can all agree that the International Bahji Cell is.
Weapons were on their way to the Bahji.
The Austin stopped them.
- Qumar's leveraging the Mastico.
- We know this.
- What do they want? - Yesterday they want missile technology.
Today they want convicted Bahji operatives let out of U.
S.
jails.
It changes.
- You're gonna have to give them some - I don't have to do anything.
I'm right, they're wrong.
They're strong I'm much stronger.
And what happens tomorrow morning? The president gets on TV makes his case.
- We're not ready.
- Nowhere near ready.
- What happens? Assuming we get around the Boland Amendment and any potential violations of domestic law and separation of powers.
Forgetting international outcry and sticking Arab allies with a choice of loyalties.
You violated the Geneva Convention.
- Since when? - Since Francisco Pizarro.
Well, if you're gonna throw the Swiss in my face.
Ali Nissir is at the General Assembly.
How hard would it be to quietly get him here tonight? UN diplomats are a little under pay scale.
- He's a reasonable guy - Is he? Ali Nissir is what passes for reasonable these days.
How hard would it be to get him here quietly tonight? Not hard.
All right.
Why don't you do it, and we'll talk about the next step.
- Margaret.
- What was that before with 10 words? It's a debating phrase.
It has to do with making things simpler.
Would you get me the National Security Council? Yes, sir.
Broadcasting live at 9:00 tonight on the East Coast and tape delayed on the West Coast.
- What's going on? - Okay.
I understand it was the last debate of the first campaign.
- Everything all right? - No.
Before the debate the president went out to sneak a cigarette.
- He lit his necktie on fire.
- Yes.
Josh gave him his, he won, and now it's his game tie.
It got wrecked by a cleaning solvent we probably shouldn't use anymore.
- Did you tell him? - No.
But that's a different conversation.
My point is, doesn't this look like the real one? I don't remember what the real one looked like.
- Where did you get a tie on a plane? - The neck of a labor secretary.
What am I thinking? You can't pull this kind of fake-out.
Now it becomes the bad-luck tie.
Bad things will happen in that tie.
No, you gotta face the music and dance alone.
You know what? I think maybe you and the president are obsessing on the tie.
I'm gonna throw this notion out, see if the cat licks it up.
I think the president's performance had actually very little to do with the tie.
Okay.
- You heard me say it was his game tie? - Yeah.
Okay.
Mr.
Secretary.
Oh, Miss Cregg.
- Thanks so much for helping us out.
- Yes.
- Have you ever seen the Moscow Circus? - No.
Then I have no point of reference to describe what a post-debate spin room is like.
I like you.
You're the one I like.
Thank you very much.
What happens is you'll be taken into the room.
A volunteer will walk in behind you holding up a sign with your name on it.
And the press will surround you.
Is that dignified? Absolutely not, don't even hope.
They want you to talk about why is a Republican spinning for the president.
Nobody is expecting you to say a thing that would embarrass the party to which you've been a loyal and active member.
He'll be attacked during the debate on China.
He'll have to defend trade goals versus human rights.
Trade's essential for human rights.
Instead of isolating them, we make them live by the same global trading rules as everyone else and gain and strengthen the forces of reform.
- That's it, it's that simple.
- No, it's not simple.
- It's incredibly complicated.
- Sure.
McGarry's boy's over there coming up with greeting cards.
- Josh? - Sitting with me trying to boil down foreign policy into a 10-word statement.
No, no, he's the 10-word.
And believe me, he hates it.
I've been at the State Department for 30 years.
There's no right answer.
And diplomacy needs all the words it can get its hands on.
Plus, he's from Connecticut.
Yeah.
But the thing is Ritchie's good at it.
We need to show we have that club in our bag.
That's all.
What kind of shot do you get with that club? According to the best people who've analyzed polling data there are a million undecideds who'd come to Bartlet if he displayed one quality that were more like Ritchie, and we chose this.
So for 90 seconds tonight the mountain will come to Mohammed.
And we'll pretend the whole thing never happened.
- It's incredibly complicated.
- Yes.
- The answer I just gave you on trade.
- It was perfect.
You know there's a decent chance I'm full of crap, right? - Sure.
- Free trade is essential for human rights.
The end of that sentence is,"We hope.
- Because nothing else has worked.
" - But I wouldn't say that tonight.
The president knows Chinese political prisoners are gonna be sewing soccer balls with their teeth whether we sell them cheeseburgers or not.
- So let's sell them cheeseburgers.
- Nor, if it were I, would I say that.
Let me tell you something, young lady.
Thirty-seven hundred years ago in the Shang Dynasty when a king died, his slaves were beheaded.
The lucky ones.
The unlucky ones were buried alive.
Political repression? This is progress.
Still, I think the first answer's our winner.
So can I find an aide and have her bring you some Schweppes Bitter Lemon? No, I'm too steamed.
- Yes, yes, okay.
- Good.
- Carol? - Yeah.
- Go to work.
- Yeah.
- So is he crazy? - Yes.
- What do you think? - Well, if we lose because of a 10-word answer then I'm quitting show business.
- What do you think? - I think it depends who shows up.
If it's Uncle Fluffy we've got problems.
If it's the president? In his last campaign, his last debate? For the last job he'll ever have? The president shows up I think it could be a sight to see.
I mean, a sight to see.
What do you think? I think you're going to enjoy yourself tonight.
- Mr.
Ambassador.
- Mr.
McGarry.
You know Jordan Kendall.
I do, but I did not know she worked here.
Special counsel to the office of the chief of staff.
Mr.
Nissir the president starts his debate in four minutes.
I won't be there, obviously.
And for me, it's like missing my brother's wedding.
A big Super Bowl or something.
And I'm mentioning this to underline the importance of this conversation.
You have to turn the boat around.
It's the match being held to the fuse.
I don't know anything about a boat.
You're not getting access to THAAD.
We're not gonna release Bahji operatives.
And we're not gonna give you $30 billion to create the Trans-Qumari pipeline.
You have to turn the boat around.
Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.
The debate will begin in two and a half minutes.
We'd like to remind you that this is a live broadcast.
In the event of any technical difficulties we ask that everyone remain quietly in their seats until the issue has been addressed.
I guess what I don't understand is this: Have I ever exhibited any evidence that I'd be mad if a tie got ruined? - No, sir.
- No, I'm not that guy.
- This tie was special.
Chemicals at the cleaner don't know that.
President Bartlet and Governor Ritchie to the stage, please.
- Josh? -This is their two-minute warning.
Yeah.
Guys we're gonna give him the room now.
Bring it, boss.
Nothing but strikes.
Game on.
I just assumed you wanted to include me.
Good evening from the University of California, San Diego.
I'm Alexander Thompson.
Well, it's in the bag.
You have someone here to show off for.
- My daughters are here? - You kidding? Ellie's wearing makeup.
- I don't approve of that.
- You understand she's 27, right? I don't approve of that either.
Remember the tie Josh had to give me at the last minute? Yeah, I heard that happened.
Think there's any point in having the debate? There was juice in that.
It was in the last seconds.
Just the energy getting me out on stage.
Well, tough.
- Sir? - Yeah.
I gotta go.
We'll do mushy later.
So for now, I just gotta say I love you so much, that my head's gonna fly off.
But more importantly, game on, boyfriend.
Let's go.
- Okay.
- By the way, I feel bad.
I don't think I've done enough to help prepare.
Why are you telling me this now? - Just because.
- Oh, my God.
You're insane.
Are you? You're insane! - Charlie! - Thirty seconds, please.
- Josh, we need your tie.
- What the hell? - Take it off! - What happened? - My wife cut it off with scissors.
- Why? - I don't think we got time, Josh.
- Fifteen seconds.
- We got it.
- No one's done camera tests.
- She's right.
Let's run some.
- Right here! Ladies and gentlemen, President Josiah Bartlet of New Hampshire - Would you keep it down? and Governor Ritchie of Florida.
Quiet, please.
The rules for tonight's debate are as follows: A candidate will be asked a question by one of the panelists and he will have His opponent will then have 60 seconds with which to ask a question and get an answer though it must be limited to the same topic.
There will be two minutes for closing statements at the end.
By virtue of a coin toss Governor Ritchie, the first question is for you.
- Governor Ritchie, good evening.
- Good evening.
The biggest philosophical difference between you and the president is over the role of the federal government itself.
And whether national problems really have national solutions.
- Can you explain your view? - Well, first, let me say good evening.
And thank you.
It's a privilege to be here.
My view of this is simple.
We don 't need a federal department of education telling us our children have to learn Esperanto, they have to learn Eskimo poetry.
- Eskimo poetry? -Let the states decide.
Let communities decide on health care.
On education.
On lower taxes, not higher taxes.
Now, he's gonna throw a big word at you.
Unfunded mandate.
He's gonna say: "If Washington lets the states do it, it's an unfunded mandate.
" But what he doesn 't like is the federal government losing power.
- Hi.
-I call it ingenuity of American people.
President, you have 60 seconds for a question and answer.
First, let's clear up a couple of things.
"Unfunded mandate" is two words not one big word.
There are times when we're 50 states.
And there are times when we're one country and have national needs.
The way I know this is that Florida didn't fight Germany in World War II or establish civil rights.
You think states should do the governing wall-to-wall.
That's a perfectly valid opinion.
But your state of Florida got $ 12.
6 billion in federal money last year from Nebraskans and Virginians and New Yorkers and Alaskans with their Eskimo poetry.
Twelve-point-six out of a state budget of 50 billion.
And I'm supposed to be using this time for a question, so here it is: Can we have it back, please? - Game on! - Oh, my God.
Strike them out, throw them out! Anybody want spin? - It's not gonna be Uncle Fluffy.
- No.
Mr.
President, the next question is for you.
And the partisan bickering.
Now I want people to work together in this great country.
That's what I did in Florida.
I brought people together.
That's what I'll do as your president.
End the logjam, end the gridlock and bring Republicans together with Democrats because Americans are tired of partisan politics.
Mr.
President? What you did in Florida is bring the right together with the far right.
I don 't think Americans are tired of partisan politics.
They're tired of hearing politicians diss partisan politics to get a gig.
I've tried it before, they ain't buying it.
That's okay, though.
That's okay because partisan politics is good.
Partisan politics is what the founders had in mind.
It guarantees that the minority opinion is heard.
And as a life-long possessor of minority opinions I appreciate it.
If you're troubled by it, you should know in this campaign you've used the word liberal 74 times in one day.
It was yesterday.
I'm not sure I can watch anymore.
No, wait.
I can, I can.
Israel launched an unwarranted, illegal, unilateral air strike against the people of Qumar.
The air strike was neither unwarranted, nor was it against the people of Qumar.
It was against two Bahji terrorist camps.
After the Israeli foreign minister was shot down by Bahji operatives of, by-the-by, Qumari citizenship educated, if we're gonna use that word, in Qumari madrasahs and financed by fat members of the Qumari royal family including the sultan's brother, Abdul ibn Shareef.
Zionist propaganda.
And we lost a cabinet minister, as well.
Yes, and you have the results of joint U.
S.
, U.
K and Qumari search and rescue operations that detail the tragic loss at sea.
Yet your intelligence services seem ready to tell the Arab world it was Israel.
A state that sanctions covert assassination.
Of terrorists.
Are you saying Mr.
Shareef was one of them? Excuse me, Mr.
Ambassador.
Leo? You gotta stop it.
You gotta turn the boat around.
You're gonna be at war.
I can't play games anymore.
I can't do it anymore.
Ben Yosef gave me the medal of David and 10 hours later he was dead.
I can't pretend Qumar's our quirky ally whose culture it's important to be tolerant of.
They're not wearing wooden shoes.
I was a soldier.
I flew fighters over the DMZ.
It was incredibly dangerous.
What did I do that for? What am I handing to the next guy and to my kid? - Turn the boat around.
Do that for the next guy.
Do that for Mallory and the president.
He's busy.
No, the question is should we focus on 90 percent of the kids who go to public school or give parents money from the public school budget to send their kids to private school at a time when private schools are turning away kids who can afford it? Public schools are gonna be the best schools.
They're gonna be cathedrals.
The answer is a change in the way we finance schools.
Governor Ritchie, your rebuttal.
Mr.
McGarry I think we are both men.
And we both know there's a charade being enacted here.
I understand Western politics.
And I understand President Bartlet is unable to admit Israel's complicity in the death of the sultan's brother during a close election.
So perhaps we could re Did I say something funny? You think the president's afraid that if he admitted complicity in Shareef's death, he would lose votes in this country? To sweep all 50 states, the president would only need to do two things: Blow the sultan's brains out in Times Square then walk across the street to Nathan's and buy a hot dog.
Mr.
Ambassador, you're gonna turn the Mastico around.
You are going to cease and desist any disinformation campaign that links the death of Shareef to Israel.
And sometime next year the sultan is gonna propose a Middle East peace plan the Qumar Plan, and win the Nobel Peace Prize.
Make your phone call.
I'll be waiting.
He's a little hot under the collar, is he not? Excuse me.
I have a meeting of godless infidels next door.
Governor Ritchie, many economists have stated that the tax cut which is the centerpiece of your economic agenda could actually harm the economy.
- Is now really the time to cut taxes? - You bet it is.
We need to cut taxes for one reason.
American people know how to spend their money better than the government does.
Mr.
President, your rebuttal.
There it is.
- What the hell? - He's got it.
That's the 10-word answer my staff's been looking for for two weeks.
There it is.
Ten-word answers can kill you in political campaigns.
They're the tip of the sword.
Here's my question: What are the next 10 words of your answer? Your taxes are too high? So are mine.
Give me the next 10 words, how are we gonna do it? Give me 10 after that, I'll drop out of the race right now.
Every once in a while Every once in a while there's a day with an absolute right and an absolute wrong.
But those days almost always include body counts.
Other than that, there aren't very many unnuanced moments in leading a country that's way too big for 10 words.
I'm president of the United States not the president of the people who agree with me.
If the left has a problem with that they should vote for somebody else.
We begin closing statements with Ritchie.
- I'm gonna make a bold suggestion.
- What? Let's not spin.
Let's leave the room.
Use experts.
Nobody from the campaign, nobody from the White House.
- Definitely not us.
- Why? There's nothing left to do.
It's inelegant.
The punch Ali never gave Foreman when he was down.
- Absolutely.
- Just a statement.
The president's on his way to Washington to get back to work.
There'll be drinking on the plane.
That shouldn't be included in the statement.
Trade with China is essential for human rights.
By engaging China and making them live by the same global trading rules as everyone else, we gain We strengthen the forces of freedom, the president knows this.
Mr.
Secretary? - I'm sorry, Miss Cregg, you need me? - I have a question.
Isn't there a decent chance you and the president are wrong? I'm sorry? I mean, doesn't he also know Chinese political prisoners are gonna sew soccer balls whether we sell them cheeseburgers or not? I mention this because the president just reminded us that complexity isn't a vice.
You're the one I like too.
Thank you very much and good night.
It's over.
You'll be back.
Tammy, I'd like to buy this old guy a beer.
- He had a good night.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- How does it feel? - Winning? - Yeah.
- Good.
- I thought he was gonna fall over himself trying to be genial.
- So did we.
But then, we were convinced by polling that he was gonna be seen as arrogant no matter what performance he gave in the debate.
And then that morning at 3: 10, my phone rings, it's Toby Ziegler.
He says,"It's a gift that they're irreversibly convinced that he's arrogant.
Because now he can be.
" If your guy is seen that way you might as well knock some bodies down with it.
- You don't fly with the team? - Not this time.
I had to return the rental car, that's why I was glad to get together.
One-way charges on rental cars are insane.
If everybody drove one-way it'd work out in the wash.
What do you think? Oh, I think every rental car in America would be at the Grand Canyon and the Tropicana.
Let the campaign fold, man.
- Stay out of the news this week.
- I'm sorry.
- Thank you.
- Sure.
- You grow up in California politics? - I grew up in Brussels.
Why? Several members of my family worked at the NATO headquarters.
You're not Thomas Bailey's grandson by chance, are you? I'm his son.
I'm the youngest.
That had to have been a nice Career Day.
"Hello, I'm Will's dad, I'm supreme commander, NATO Allied Forces.
" - Not a lot of kids took your lunch money.
- No.
It's embarrassing, Will.
There's a campaign being waged here, and I'm not embarrassed by it.
There are things being talked about, things you and the White House believe in.
They'll only be talked about in a blowout.
You know there's no glory in it.
And you still come here twice and tell me my guy's a joke? That my people are embarrassing? How many told you to get out of the way for John Hoynes? The bandwagon was in Texas, the boys were in Nashua.
How many Democrats told you it was embarrassing? - I'm not kidding, how many? - All of them.
That's right.
You're the one who wrote Tillman's speech.
- No, I'm not.
- At the Stanford Club.
Yes, you are.
- I don't even I don't know what - That's fine.
But you and I both know different, right? So let's have some respect for that.
You've ghosted for senators, movie stars.
I think the king of Belgium one time.
Do you say anything? - No.
- Why? - Speechwriters don't do that.
- Yeah.
Okay.
I'll just say it was very good.
And a number of people think so.
Leave it there.
Except to say that the jokes worked too.
I don't know who wrote them.
But I know it wasn't the governor of California.
You see that girl over there? The one I thought was your assistant.
Her name is Elsie Snuffin.
- What a great name.
- Isn't it? - Why did you tell me that? - She wrote the jokes.
- Anyway, you should know about her.
- Where'd you find her? She was the 11 th man on a 10-man writing staff for a sitcom.
They weren't using her stuff because it was smarter than the show.
But she didn't know that.
All right.
Thank you for the beer and for the lively conversation.
Listen.
If you can't find a Democrat tell Mrs.
Wilde - Tell Kay that I'll do it.
- Are you kidding? Tell her I'm a graduate of Princeton and editor of the Duke Law Review.
I've worked for congressmen and the D-Triple-C.
I have seven years at Gage Whitney.
I've served as deputy communications director and senior counselor.
Tell her I grew up two streets from here.
- I'm not gonna ask anyone else.
- This is for election night.
I read about it before then, I'm gonna deny it and we're through.
Excuse me.
- Listen - We love you.
Thank you.
I've gotta get to a bed, but I just wanted to say thanks for the hard work.
One more week.
You're making a lot of people proud.
And if you get a chance read the governor's speech to the Stanford Club.
It's gonna give you chills.
The jokes are particularly funny.
Anyway, good luck.
- Great job.
- Thank you.
Good night, Will.
Don't forget your necktie.
Keep it.
J.
Cregg was getting threats.
We put an agent on her.
He walked into the middle of an armed robbery.
Crime.
Boy, I don't know.
Think the strike against me is nobody likes the smartest kid in the class? It's not a strike unless you watch it sail by.
You're weak, you're liberal.
And you can't be trusted.
Horton Wilde's had a heart attack.
The Democrats have nominated someone who's had three heart attacks? If you're wondering: "Crime.
Boy, I don't know," is when I decided to kick your ass.
- A crisis of confidence? - Yeah.
- I don't understand.
- I was on the helicopter and he's second guessing himself.
He's revising answers in his head I know.
When I left him he was ready.
I don't understand.
- He's ready.
You can see it.
- Not this morning.
This isn't supposed to happen with you.
- Christians? - Yes.
What happened to"steady as she goes"? A smart guy said presidential elections are won and lost on 1 square foot of real estate.
- Up here.
- Well, that's great.
- Yeah.
- We still got a day before he debates.
We'll go back to school.
I think that's just gonna pour gas on the problem.
- What do you wanna do? - We got a two-minute drill.
I think whatever answers he gives, we should just say: "That's terrific, Mr.
President.
" - What's the point of the drill? - We got five scheduled before tomorrow.
- We're using one for this.
- This is crazy.
I don't believe this.
-"That's terrific, Mr.
President.
" - All right.
- Leo.
- Listen, we're gonna do something in the drill right now.
- What? - No notes, just positive reinforcement.
- Why? He has a problem this morning.
All right.
Leo, I've got a 9:30 flight.
I'll be there sometime after lunch.
- You can't do this with a phone call? - Oh, God, I don't know.
The man died.
There's a widow.
We're asking them to pack.
I'm an hour away in a rental car.
We didn't make it personal - All right.
I just need you in San Diego.
- Josh.
We're still looking for 10 words.
- I'm still looking for them too.
- Ten words, 10 words.
Let's go.
We're gonna expand the field.
No notes during this drill.
That's you too.
- What's that? - No notes during the drill.
- Why? - He's in his head.
- There's important feedback in the drills.
- We've got four more.
- We've got one on the plane.
- When's Debbie starting? The president sent her to the Maxwell School for a three-day crash course.
You got a $ 10 bill on your clipboard.
- Yeah, I owe it to someone.
- You can all go on in.
Thank you.
- Ten words.
- We don't have them yet, Mr.
President.
All right, let's do a drill.
Despite a rise in tension, you've held up funding for a missile defense shield.
Too much money for too little protection.
Next.
You oppose a system that would offer children a choice of schools.
That would offer some a choice of schools.
I haven't given up on better schools for everybody.
Vouchers drain money from that goal.
This next question's on capital punishment, which you oppose.
If your daughter was raped and murdered would you wanna see the man responsible put to death? It's important to understand the president doesn't make that decision.
Though he appoints Supreme Court justices who do so.
Why? Any All right.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'll just go right to No, I don't.
I think you know that I'm opposed Let's not do that.
I haven't seen any evidence that it's a deterrent.
And there are more effective - In my state - Oh, my God.
What? You weren't kidding.
What's the matter with you? When I left you I just mentioned your daughter being murdered.
And you're giving us an answer that's not only soporific, it's barely human.
Yes, you'd wanna see him put to death.
You'd want it to be cruel and unusual.
Which is why it's a good idea that fathers of murder victims don't have legal rights in these situations.
Now we're going back to school.
Let's go, 10 bucks.
Crisis of confidence.
You did 1 square foot of real estate? - Yes, I did.
- Ten bucks for you.
And you, you big bear, come to me.
I'm gonna kiss you right on the mouth.
- Ten bucks.
- Anything else, sir.
- Work hard.
- Thank you, sir.
- Thank you.
- Thank you, Mr.
President.
- Have a safe flight.
- I'll see you in San Diego.
Sorry about that.
It was the president's idea.
He bet us you couldn't stay quiet if he gave a bad answer.
- What? - He's ready.
- Excuse me.
- Hang on one second.
Can he do Inside Politics tomorrow? He can do it on tape, but we're downtown at 5.
Let me talk to them.
- Yes.
- I'm Sam Seaborn.
I'm here to see William Bailey.
Okay.
Hey, William Bailey.
Bill Bailey.
I just got that.
Mention it to him.
He's probably never heard that reference.
- It's Will.
-"Merry Christmas you old Building and Loan.
" That's George Bailey.
Well, why don't we get him.
- Will! - Will? Good to see you.
Be with you in a second.
Darren and Sharon, where are you? Good, but don't use the words"waiting period.
" The point was to support a stricter waiting period for handguns.
Waiting period sounds like an inconvenience.
Keeping guns away from felons is a national necessity.
Have you called on the ballot initiatives? - Hi.
- Hi.
Sam Seaborn.
Sure.
Will Bailey.
You wanna come inside? - Will, you got like, two minutes.
- Yeah.
There's a press conference.
I've been trying to study a little.
I met your assistant.
She's funny.
She's attractive.
I hope I'm not inappropriate.
I have an assistant? - Well, somebody who works here.
- Yeah.
First things first.
I bring the condolences of the White House on your loss.
On Mrs.
Wilde's loss, I should say.
Everybody's.
And you ran a strong campaign for the candidate.
You should be proud.
Thank you.
- You know why I came here? - It's not to tell me I ran a strong campaign and should be proud.
- It's not, though you did and you should.
- And I will once it's over.
- It's over.
- Nothing I can do about election law.
- The man's name stays on the ballot.
- Can't campaign without a candidate.
- Campaign of ideas.
- The candidate died.
But not the ideas.
The metaphor alone knocks me down.
- Elsie! - Mr.
Bailey.
- Yeah.
- I'm getting cold feet about the bow tie.
You like it, but for me, my whole world becomes about it.
- Can we rustle up a real one? - Yeah, and we have to get in the car.
The campaign's become embarrassing to us.
It's a national joke.
Sorry about that.
I got a press conference.
Sally and the suffragettes, what you got? - Oh, we did the PSA.
- Let me see.
Very nice, but do me a favor.
Read this for me.
"It doesn't matter who you vote for, make sure you vote.
" I like the sentiment but I think it does matter who you vote for.
What if it said"No matter who you vote for, make sure you vote.
" What do you think? - Good.
- Good.
- Will? - Yeah.
- I'm here for the president.
- I admire the president, Sam, I really do.
- But? - I don't work for him.
Let's go.
All right, everyone.
Thank you very much.
Carol's passing out playbooks.
Senator, we've put you on criminal justice.
- Martin, we moved you to welfare, okay.
- Sure.
There's also third-party validator information as well as names of the reporters you'll be handcuffed to.
If it's not your thing, don't try to wing it, call somebody over.
Surrogate plane leaves at 9.
See you tomorrow for pre-game.
C.
J.
, could I see you? And I need Congresswoman Wyatt for just a moment.
- Bennett's gonna spin for Ritchie.
- I could have told you that.
Hang on.
No, wait.
I did.
I find competitiveness feminine in tall women.
- On defense? - Yeah.
What the hell? Don't heckle around with me.
I got a Democrat shilling for Ritchie on defense.
I gotta get a guy.
A Republican.
This is why I'm talking to you.
You're gonna use Albie Duncan.
- He'll do it? Duncan? - Yes.
Look at me.
He's not a little bit crazy? Albie Duncan? No, no.
A little bit.
- Toby - He'll be great.
See to it.
Andy I'm crazy about the roundness of your head.
- Thank you.
Andy? - She's nervous.
- These are won and lost in the rooms.
- Not this one.
- You think so? - I know so.
- Don't get overconfident.
- That ship sailed.
Hey, you wanna know something? C.
J.
doesn't like running.
- Why not? - Believe it or not because it takes time away from helping.
- I really like that about her, don't you? - Yeah.
- Good.
Then marry me again.
- No.
What else you got? All right, let's make it interesting.
Let's add incentive.
The president wins the debate tomorrow, and you marry me again.
How about the president wins the debate, he gets elected president again.
See that's the difference between you and me.
You're smalltime.
And that's why the twins are gonna need their father around full-time.
Because your thing would be a terrible trait A terrible family trait to pass on to little Beatrice and Bluto.
I'm naming them Beatrice and Bluto now.
I don't care if they're boys or girls.
- What do you need? - Back up Albie Duncan.
- Is he crazy? - No.
No.
No.
A little bit.
No.
Look, he's Albie Duncan.
He was in the Eisenhower State Department.
He's brilliant.
He's respected.
He's a Republican.
If he's crazy, I don't wanna be sane.
- You're not.
- Excellent.
I'm out of here.
Read Gabe Tillman's speech to the Stanford Club last night.
You're gonna think you wrote it.
Only it was somebody better.
Someone who will fight for world-class schools.
Someone who will take decisions away from HMOs and give them to doctors.
Someone who will make polluters pay for the pollution they cause here.
What are your plans for the final week? Volunteers are going door-to-door.
We've got six busloads of AFT and AFL volunteers coming down.
We've got six get-out-the-vote rallies in the next six days.
- We're in this to win it.
Yeah.
- Ted Willard.
Orange County Post-Gazette.
What happens if that happens? If your candidate wins? An election will be held after no more than 90 days.
- Does the party have someone in mind? - We're vetting Wendell Wilkie.
- Seriously? - Seriously, one election at a time.
Beth.
Sixty percent of residents disagree with the Horton Wilde gun position which doesn't distinguish it from many issues important to voters.
Is the Wilde campaign out of touch? Sixty percent is six of 10 in a focus group.
We change one mind, it's a dead heat.
We change two, it's a landslide.
This campaign's a mechanism of persuasion.
We're not asking for a show of hands.
Yeah.
- June Wheeler, San Jose News.
- You're a long way from home.
- This is a fun story.
- Glad I could help.
We're all sitting here pretending this is a regular press conference.
And you're very engaging up there, but your candidate died.
So why isn't this all a little preposterous? Chuck Webb is a congressman who as chairman of not one but two commerce subcommittees has taken money from companies he regulates.
He's on the board of the NRA, once challenged another congressman to a fistfight on the floor over an amendment to make stalkers submit to background checks before buying AR-15s, AK-57s Street Sweepers, MAC-10s, MAC-lls.
He's joined protests designed to frighten pregnant women.
- What's your point? - There are worse things than no longer being alive.
You said earlier that the 47th pays more in taxes How you doing? You don't want to be in San Diego now? I'd want to be in San Diego.
I'm about to head there.
I was just at your press conference.
You guys ready? Yeah.
It's gonna be great or a disaster, nothing in between.
Good.
- So, what is this? - Our contributors gave money to Wilde.
- He's dead now.
- I know.
And that's the metaphor.
A standard-bearer for a party that's dead in every bedroom community in Southern California.
- That guy had a point.
- Who? The Post-Gazette.
He asked if we had a name.
- You want one yet? - No, not me.
Not right now.
- Kay Wilde does.
- The widow? Yeah.
She wants a Democrat to tell us privately that they'll run if he wins.
Nobody wants it.
- Do you believe they're gonna need it? - No.
Then give her Winston Churchill.
What does it matter? All right, it matters.
- What are you doing? - I swear to God I'm trying to win an election.
I'd think you, of all people, would be able to recognize it when you saw it.
All right.
All right.
I can get on the 405 if I go straight down there.
Fourth light.
Give them hell tomorrow.
All right.
- You have more events tonight, right? - Yeah.
Your tie doesn't go.
What are those stripes? They're gonna blur.
- You like the herringbone? - I think it'll glow.
- It is.
- This is the navy heraldic club.
Any other year.
They're broadcasting in HD Digital now and with the pixels Anybody, anybody have digital yet? - A solid silk rep.
Light mustard.
- Not with his coloring.
Okay.
So it's the charcoal and blue.
Yeah, it's good.
Charlie? Thanks.
- Hey, Charlie.
- Hi.
You're starting in the Oval Office.
- When do you leave? - Now.
- Good luck.
- Tell him.
- Hey.
- Good afternoon, Mr.
President.
They've chosen a tie.
It's charcoal and blue.
No, I decided to go ahead and wear my lucky tie.
You sure? This tie feels pretty lucky to me.
Then it's your lucky tie.
Why don't you get mine, we'll go to the plane.
Listen, what do you say I sit in on this meeting.
We've got time.
What do you say you get into pre-game? Let me worry about this for tonight.
- All right.
- Come here a second.
There's no such thing as too smart.
There's nothing you can do that's not gonna make me proud of you.
Eat them up.
- Game on.
- Okay.
We'll go next door.
About a week ago we stopped a Qumari ship called the Mastico on information that it was carrying - Hello.
- What do you need? Ten words, let me try two.
Defense.
"I will make America's defenses the strongest in history.
" When we say that are we comparing ourselves to Visigoths adjusted for inflation? Crime:"Some crimes are so heinous, so hateful to American values that we ought to lock the prisoners up and throw away the key.
" - Don't say yes to that one.
- Keep working.
And call me every 30 minutes.
You read Gabriel Tillman's speech at the Stanford Club? - No.
- The governor's got a new writing staff.
- Are you gonna call every 30 minutes? - Yeah.
- One more drill on the plane.
- We're gonna make you proud.
Enjoy it.
Okay.
You stopped a Qumari ship with what, Leo? Are we on another crime spree? Why don't you call? We stopped them with a warning shot from the USS Austin - Okay.
- An LPD San Antonio class warship.
The weapons were not on their way to the Qumari.
They were on their way to the Bahji.
If I can't get everyone else on board with the fact that Qumar is our enemy surely we can all agree that the International Bahji Cell is.
Weapons were on their way to the Bahji.
The Austin stopped them.
- Qumar's leveraging the Mastico.
- We know this.
- What do they want? - Yesterday they want missile technology.
Today they want convicted Bahji operatives let out of U.
S.
jails.
It changes.
- You're gonna have to give them some - I don't have to do anything.
I'm right, they're wrong.
They're strong I'm much stronger.
And what happens tomorrow morning? The president gets on TV makes his case.
- We're not ready.
- Nowhere near ready.
- What happens? Assuming we get around the Boland Amendment and any potential violations of domestic law and separation of powers.
Forgetting international outcry and sticking Arab allies with a choice of loyalties.
You violated the Geneva Convention.
- Since when? - Since Francisco Pizarro.
Well, if you're gonna throw the Swiss in my face.
Ali Nissir is at the General Assembly.
How hard would it be to quietly get him here tonight? UN diplomats are a little under pay scale.
- He's a reasonable guy - Is he? Ali Nissir is what passes for reasonable these days.
How hard would it be to get him here quietly tonight? Not hard.
All right.
Why don't you do it, and we'll talk about the next step.
- Margaret.
- What was that before with 10 words? It's a debating phrase.
It has to do with making things simpler.
Would you get me the National Security Council? Yes, sir.
Broadcasting live at 9:00 tonight on the East Coast and tape delayed on the West Coast.
- What's going on? - Okay.
I understand it was the last debate of the first campaign.
- Everything all right? - No.
Before the debate the president went out to sneak a cigarette.
- He lit his necktie on fire.
- Yes.
Josh gave him his, he won, and now it's his game tie.
It got wrecked by a cleaning solvent we probably shouldn't use anymore.
- Did you tell him? - No.
But that's a different conversation.
My point is, doesn't this look like the real one? I don't remember what the real one looked like.
- Where did you get a tie on a plane? - The neck of a labor secretary.
What am I thinking? You can't pull this kind of fake-out.
Now it becomes the bad-luck tie.
Bad things will happen in that tie.
No, you gotta face the music and dance alone.
You know what? I think maybe you and the president are obsessing on the tie.
I'm gonna throw this notion out, see if the cat licks it up.
I think the president's performance had actually very little to do with the tie.
Okay.
- You heard me say it was his game tie? - Yeah.
Okay.
Mr.
Secretary.
Oh, Miss Cregg.
- Thanks so much for helping us out.
- Yes.
- Have you ever seen the Moscow Circus? - No.
Then I have no point of reference to describe what a post-debate spin room is like.
I like you.
You're the one I like.
Thank you very much.
What happens is you'll be taken into the room.
A volunteer will walk in behind you holding up a sign with your name on it.
And the press will surround you.
Is that dignified? Absolutely not, don't even hope.
They want you to talk about why is a Republican spinning for the president.
Nobody is expecting you to say a thing that would embarrass the party to which you've been a loyal and active member.
He'll be attacked during the debate on China.
He'll have to defend trade goals versus human rights.
Trade's essential for human rights.
Instead of isolating them, we make them live by the same global trading rules as everyone else and gain and strengthen the forces of reform.
- That's it, it's that simple.
- No, it's not simple.
- It's incredibly complicated.
- Sure.
McGarry's boy's over there coming up with greeting cards.
- Josh? - Sitting with me trying to boil down foreign policy into a 10-word statement.
No, no, he's the 10-word.
And believe me, he hates it.
I've been at the State Department for 30 years.
There's no right answer.
And diplomacy needs all the words it can get its hands on.
Plus, he's from Connecticut.
Yeah.
But the thing is Ritchie's good at it.
We need to show we have that club in our bag.
That's all.
What kind of shot do you get with that club? According to the best people who've analyzed polling data there are a million undecideds who'd come to Bartlet if he displayed one quality that were more like Ritchie, and we chose this.
So for 90 seconds tonight the mountain will come to Mohammed.
And we'll pretend the whole thing never happened.
- It's incredibly complicated.
- Yes.
- The answer I just gave you on trade.
- It was perfect.
You know there's a decent chance I'm full of crap, right? - Sure.
- Free trade is essential for human rights.
The end of that sentence is,"We hope.
- Because nothing else has worked.
" - But I wouldn't say that tonight.
The president knows Chinese political prisoners are gonna be sewing soccer balls with their teeth whether we sell them cheeseburgers or not.
- So let's sell them cheeseburgers.
- Nor, if it were I, would I say that.
Let me tell you something, young lady.
Thirty-seven hundred years ago in the Shang Dynasty when a king died, his slaves were beheaded.
The lucky ones.
The unlucky ones were buried alive.
Political repression? This is progress.
Still, I think the first answer's our winner.
So can I find an aide and have her bring you some Schweppes Bitter Lemon? No, I'm too steamed.
- Yes, yes, okay.
- Good.
- Carol? - Yeah.
- Go to work.
- Yeah.
- So is he crazy? - Yes.
- What do you think? - Well, if we lose because of a 10-word answer then I'm quitting show business.
- What do you think? - I think it depends who shows up.
If it's Uncle Fluffy we've got problems.
If it's the president? In his last campaign, his last debate? For the last job he'll ever have? The president shows up I think it could be a sight to see.
I mean, a sight to see.
What do you think? I think you're going to enjoy yourself tonight.
- Mr.
Ambassador.
- Mr.
McGarry.
You know Jordan Kendall.
I do, but I did not know she worked here.
Special counsel to the office of the chief of staff.
Mr.
Nissir the president starts his debate in four minutes.
I won't be there, obviously.
And for me, it's like missing my brother's wedding.
A big Super Bowl or something.
And I'm mentioning this to underline the importance of this conversation.
You have to turn the boat around.
It's the match being held to the fuse.
I don't know anything about a boat.
You're not getting access to THAAD.
We're not gonna release Bahji operatives.
And we're not gonna give you $30 billion to create the Trans-Qumari pipeline.
You have to turn the boat around.
Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.
The debate will begin in two and a half minutes.
We'd like to remind you that this is a live broadcast.
In the event of any technical difficulties we ask that everyone remain quietly in their seats until the issue has been addressed.
I guess what I don't understand is this: Have I ever exhibited any evidence that I'd be mad if a tie got ruined? - No, sir.
- No, I'm not that guy.
- This tie was special.
Chemicals at the cleaner don't know that.
President Bartlet and Governor Ritchie to the stage, please.
- Josh? -This is their two-minute warning.
Yeah.
Guys we're gonna give him the room now.
Bring it, boss.
Nothing but strikes.
Game on.
I just assumed you wanted to include me.
Good evening from the University of California, San Diego.
I'm Alexander Thompson.
Well, it's in the bag.
You have someone here to show off for.
- My daughters are here? - You kidding? Ellie's wearing makeup.
- I don't approve of that.
- You understand she's 27, right? I don't approve of that either.
Remember the tie Josh had to give me at the last minute? Yeah, I heard that happened.
Think there's any point in having the debate? There was juice in that.
It was in the last seconds.
Just the energy getting me out on stage.
Well, tough.
- Sir? - Yeah.
I gotta go.
We'll do mushy later.
So for now, I just gotta say I love you so much, that my head's gonna fly off.
But more importantly, game on, boyfriend.
Let's go.
- Okay.
- By the way, I feel bad.
I don't think I've done enough to help prepare.
Why are you telling me this now? - Just because.
- Oh, my God.
You're insane.
Are you? You're insane! - Charlie! - Thirty seconds, please.
- Josh, we need your tie.
- What the hell? - Take it off! - What happened? - My wife cut it off with scissors.
- Why? - I don't think we got time, Josh.
- Fifteen seconds.
- We got it.
- No one's done camera tests.
- She's right.
Let's run some.
- Right here! Ladies and gentlemen, President Josiah Bartlet of New Hampshire - Would you keep it down? and Governor Ritchie of Florida.
Quiet, please.
The rules for tonight's debate are as follows: A candidate will be asked a question by one of the panelists and he will have His opponent will then have 60 seconds with which to ask a question and get an answer though it must be limited to the same topic.
There will be two minutes for closing statements at the end.
By virtue of a coin toss Governor Ritchie, the first question is for you.
- Governor Ritchie, good evening.
- Good evening.
The biggest philosophical difference between you and the president is over the role of the federal government itself.
And whether national problems really have national solutions.
- Can you explain your view? - Well, first, let me say good evening.
And thank you.
It's a privilege to be here.
My view of this is simple.
We don 't need a federal department of education telling us our children have to learn Esperanto, they have to learn Eskimo poetry.
- Eskimo poetry? -Let the states decide.
Let communities decide on health care.
On education.
On lower taxes, not higher taxes.
Now, he's gonna throw a big word at you.
Unfunded mandate.
He's gonna say: "If Washington lets the states do it, it's an unfunded mandate.
" But what he doesn 't like is the federal government losing power.
- Hi.
-I call it ingenuity of American people.
President, you have 60 seconds for a question and answer.
First, let's clear up a couple of things.
"Unfunded mandate" is two words not one big word.
There are times when we're 50 states.
And there are times when we're one country and have national needs.
The way I know this is that Florida didn't fight Germany in World War II or establish civil rights.
You think states should do the governing wall-to-wall.
That's a perfectly valid opinion.
But your state of Florida got $ 12.
6 billion in federal money last year from Nebraskans and Virginians and New Yorkers and Alaskans with their Eskimo poetry.
Twelve-point-six out of a state budget of 50 billion.
And I'm supposed to be using this time for a question, so here it is: Can we have it back, please? - Game on! - Oh, my God.
Strike them out, throw them out! Anybody want spin? - It's not gonna be Uncle Fluffy.
- No.
Mr.
President, the next question is for you.
And the partisan bickering.
Now I want people to work together in this great country.
That's what I did in Florida.
I brought people together.
That's what I'll do as your president.
End the logjam, end the gridlock and bring Republicans together with Democrats because Americans are tired of partisan politics.
Mr.
President? What you did in Florida is bring the right together with the far right.
I don 't think Americans are tired of partisan politics.
They're tired of hearing politicians diss partisan politics to get a gig.
I've tried it before, they ain't buying it.
That's okay, though.
That's okay because partisan politics is good.
Partisan politics is what the founders had in mind.
It guarantees that the minority opinion is heard.
And as a life-long possessor of minority opinions I appreciate it.
If you're troubled by it, you should know in this campaign you've used the word liberal 74 times in one day.
It was yesterday.
I'm not sure I can watch anymore.
No, wait.
I can, I can.
Israel launched an unwarranted, illegal, unilateral air strike against the people of Qumar.
The air strike was neither unwarranted, nor was it against the people of Qumar.
It was against two Bahji terrorist camps.
After the Israeli foreign minister was shot down by Bahji operatives of, by-the-by, Qumari citizenship educated, if we're gonna use that word, in Qumari madrasahs and financed by fat members of the Qumari royal family including the sultan's brother, Abdul ibn Shareef.
Zionist propaganda.
And we lost a cabinet minister, as well.
Yes, and you have the results of joint U.
S.
, U.
K and Qumari search and rescue operations that detail the tragic loss at sea.
Yet your intelligence services seem ready to tell the Arab world it was Israel.
A state that sanctions covert assassination.
Of terrorists.
Are you saying Mr.
Shareef was one of them? Excuse me, Mr.
Ambassador.
Leo? You gotta stop it.
You gotta turn the boat around.
You're gonna be at war.
I can't play games anymore.
I can't do it anymore.
Ben Yosef gave me the medal of David and 10 hours later he was dead.
I can't pretend Qumar's our quirky ally whose culture it's important to be tolerant of.
They're not wearing wooden shoes.
I was a soldier.
I flew fighters over the DMZ.
It was incredibly dangerous.
What did I do that for? What am I handing to the next guy and to my kid? - Turn the boat around.
Do that for the next guy.
Do that for Mallory and the president.
He's busy.
No, the question is should we focus on 90 percent of the kids who go to public school or give parents money from the public school budget to send their kids to private school at a time when private schools are turning away kids who can afford it? Public schools are gonna be the best schools.
They're gonna be cathedrals.
The answer is a change in the way we finance schools.
Governor Ritchie, your rebuttal.
Mr.
McGarry I think we are both men.
And we both know there's a charade being enacted here.
I understand Western politics.
And I understand President Bartlet is unable to admit Israel's complicity in the death of the sultan's brother during a close election.
So perhaps we could re Did I say something funny? You think the president's afraid that if he admitted complicity in Shareef's death, he would lose votes in this country? To sweep all 50 states, the president would only need to do two things: Blow the sultan's brains out in Times Square then walk across the street to Nathan's and buy a hot dog.
Mr.
Ambassador, you're gonna turn the Mastico around.
You are going to cease and desist any disinformation campaign that links the death of Shareef to Israel.
And sometime next year the sultan is gonna propose a Middle East peace plan the Qumar Plan, and win the Nobel Peace Prize.
Make your phone call.
I'll be waiting.
He's a little hot under the collar, is he not? Excuse me.
I have a meeting of godless infidels next door.
Governor Ritchie, many economists have stated that the tax cut which is the centerpiece of your economic agenda could actually harm the economy.
- Is now really the time to cut taxes? - You bet it is.
We need to cut taxes for one reason.
American people know how to spend their money better than the government does.
Mr.
President, your rebuttal.
There it is.
- What the hell? - He's got it.
That's the 10-word answer my staff's been looking for for two weeks.
There it is.
Ten-word answers can kill you in political campaigns.
They're the tip of the sword.
Here's my question: What are the next 10 words of your answer? Your taxes are too high? So are mine.
Give me the next 10 words, how are we gonna do it? Give me 10 after that, I'll drop out of the race right now.
Every once in a while Every once in a while there's a day with an absolute right and an absolute wrong.
But those days almost always include body counts.
Other than that, there aren't very many unnuanced moments in leading a country that's way too big for 10 words.
I'm president of the United States not the president of the people who agree with me.
If the left has a problem with that they should vote for somebody else.
We begin closing statements with Ritchie.
- I'm gonna make a bold suggestion.
- What? Let's not spin.
Let's leave the room.
Use experts.
Nobody from the campaign, nobody from the White House.
- Definitely not us.
- Why? There's nothing left to do.
It's inelegant.
The punch Ali never gave Foreman when he was down.
- Absolutely.
- Just a statement.
The president's on his way to Washington to get back to work.
There'll be drinking on the plane.
That shouldn't be included in the statement.
Trade with China is essential for human rights.
By engaging China and making them live by the same global trading rules as everyone else, we gain We strengthen the forces of freedom, the president knows this.
Mr.
Secretary? - I'm sorry, Miss Cregg, you need me? - I have a question.
Isn't there a decent chance you and the president are wrong? I'm sorry? I mean, doesn't he also know Chinese political prisoners are gonna sew soccer balls whether we sell them cheeseburgers or not? I mention this because the president just reminded us that complexity isn't a vice.
You're the one I like too.
Thank you very much and good night.
It's over.
You'll be back.
Tammy, I'd like to buy this old guy a beer.
- He had a good night.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- How does it feel? - Winning? - Yeah.
- Good.
- I thought he was gonna fall over himself trying to be genial.
- So did we.
But then, we were convinced by polling that he was gonna be seen as arrogant no matter what performance he gave in the debate.
And then that morning at 3: 10, my phone rings, it's Toby Ziegler.
He says,"It's a gift that they're irreversibly convinced that he's arrogant.
Because now he can be.
" If your guy is seen that way you might as well knock some bodies down with it.
- You don't fly with the team? - Not this time.
I had to return the rental car, that's why I was glad to get together.
One-way charges on rental cars are insane.
If everybody drove one-way it'd work out in the wash.
What do you think? Oh, I think every rental car in America would be at the Grand Canyon and the Tropicana.
Let the campaign fold, man.
- Stay out of the news this week.
- I'm sorry.
- Thank you.
- Sure.
- You grow up in California politics? - I grew up in Brussels.
Why? Several members of my family worked at the NATO headquarters.
You're not Thomas Bailey's grandson by chance, are you? I'm his son.
I'm the youngest.
That had to have been a nice Career Day.
"Hello, I'm Will's dad, I'm supreme commander, NATO Allied Forces.
" - Not a lot of kids took your lunch money.
- No.
It's embarrassing, Will.
There's a campaign being waged here, and I'm not embarrassed by it.
There are things being talked about, things you and the White House believe in.
They'll only be talked about in a blowout.
You know there's no glory in it.
And you still come here twice and tell me my guy's a joke? That my people are embarrassing? How many told you to get out of the way for John Hoynes? The bandwagon was in Texas, the boys were in Nashua.
How many Democrats told you it was embarrassing? - I'm not kidding, how many? - All of them.
That's right.
You're the one who wrote Tillman's speech.
- No, I'm not.
- At the Stanford Club.
Yes, you are.
- I don't even I don't know what - That's fine.
But you and I both know different, right? So let's have some respect for that.
You've ghosted for senators, movie stars.
I think the king of Belgium one time.
Do you say anything? - No.
- Why? - Speechwriters don't do that.
- Yeah.
Okay.
I'll just say it was very good.
And a number of people think so.
Leave it there.
Except to say that the jokes worked too.
I don't know who wrote them.
But I know it wasn't the governor of California.
You see that girl over there? The one I thought was your assistant.
Her name is Elsie Snuffin.
- What a great name.
- Isn't it? - Why did you tell me that? - She wrote the jokes.
- Anyway, you should know about her.
- Where'd you find her? She was the 11 th man on a 10-man writing staff for a sitcom.
They weren't using her stuff because it was smarter than the show.
But she didn't know that.
All right.
Thank you for the beer and for the lively conversation.
Listen.
If you can't find a Democrat tell Mrs.
Wilde - Tell Kay that I'll do it.
- Are you kidding? Tell her I'm a graduate of Princeton and editor of the Duke Law Review.
I've worked for congressmen and the D-Triple-C.
I have seven years at Gage Whitney.
I've served as deputy communications director and senior counselor.
Tell her I grew up two streets from here.
- I'm not gonna ask anyone else.
- This is for election night.
I read about it before then, I'm gonna deny it and we're through.
Excuse me.
- Listen - We love you.
Thank you.
I've gotta get to a bed, but I just wanted to say thanks for the hard work.
One more week.
You're making a lot of people proud.
And if you get a chance read the governor's speech to the Stanford Club.
It's gonna give you chills.
The jokes are particularly funny.
Anyway, good luck.
- Great job.
- Thank you.
Good night, Will.
Don't forget your necktie.
Keep it.