Xena: Warrior Princess s04e06 Episode Script

The despair of winter is followed by the hope of spring.
The infernal heat of summer, abolished by a gentle autumn breeze.
Life's brutal truths are softened by its tender mercies.
You know, I like that.
Thank you.
My writing has allowed me to express my most inner feelings.
I don't know how I'd survive without it.
I wish you had something like that, Xena.
Are you kidding? I got this.
It's perfect.
More hot sand Touring the world is sure tough on shoes.
Yeah, I gotta get Argo to a blacksmith in the next town.
Actually, I was talking about my shoes.
Ready? -Tara! -It's Istafan! Run! You know what you've done, don't you? Yeah, I know.
It's a crime we cannot pardon.
She has broken the goddess' law! You will be disciplined.
Take her! A terrible crime has been committed against our benefactor and protector The great muse, Calliope.
Calliope? This far from home? Her scales of justice shall be swift and fair.
Ten lashes, Licinus And don't spare your arm.
A transgression like this must be disciplined.
That's not nice.
Save some for me! You can take over here.
Tara? I don't wanna hurt you or your people but I'm not gonna let you beat this girl with a whip.
So call off your lynch mob and go home.
This is no mob.
This is the town militia and I am the chief magistrate.
Tara, what did you do? She committed a crime so insidious we must punish it quickly and severely.
That's great, Tara.
You really messed this up! She danced.
What? She danced.
Danced? Danced.
In the time of ancient gods, warlords and kings a land in turmoil cried out for a hero.
She was Xena.
A mighty princess forged in the heat of battle.
The power The passion The danger Her courage will change the world.
XENA, THE WARRIOR PRINCESS Now, the three of us are gonna walk outta town, nice and easy.
We don't want any more trouble.
Istafan I think that banishment is enough of a punishment for that crime.
Yes.
All right.
But you must leave immediately.
-Yes.
-That seems fair.
Tara I'm gonna miss you a lot.
Thanks for giving me a job in your store, Telamon.
It was wonderful having you around.
Take care, Tara.
I'm sorry it didn't work out.
Goodbye, Andros.
Tara, I shouldn't have run away when they came to arrest you.
-I should have stayed by your side! -You hadda watch out for yourself.
I understand.
Take care of your dad.
He's a nice guy.
I will.
Well, let's go! I don't get that.
Since when is Calliope the muse of not dancing? It goes back into their history, something about a fire that burned down most of the city after a big dance almost 60 years ago? Thanks, Xena! It was really nice seeing you again.
You too, Gabrielle.
Where do you think you're going? Look, I know a way to sneak back into the village so nobody'll see me.
Tara, you can't do that.
They were going to beat you.
Who knows what will happen if you go back there after you've been banished -Look, I'm on a mission! -A mission? That guy, Telamon, and his son Andros They're the nicest men I've ever met in my entire life.
And they're stuck in that hole where people aren't even allowed to dance.
Look, I can't throw a chakram and I don't like staffs but I can dance! Ever since I was a kid, it was my most favorite thing to do in the entire world.
I even made money, street-dancing in Thebes.
And it breaks my heart that Andros is stuck there where people aren't even allowed to do that.
I wanna change things so that he can.
Look, I know people like that.
I came from a town just like it.
The people aren't going to change, and you're going to get hurt.
I think that you should stay with us.
-We're going back.
-You're gonna help me? Yeah.
And so said Calliope, first among muses "And none shall dance before me nor in my house, nor in my temples.
" We must preserve our traditions! I agree.
Tara and I have discussed it, and she wants to apologize to the whole community.
Yeah I'm really sorry.
We can show her mercy if she changes her ways Can't we, Istafan? How do we know she's really changed? Look, Tara wants to stay here with Telamon and Andros.
She understands that she's going to have to obey the rules.
I'm going to hang around for a couple of days to see that she gets on the straight and narrow and after that if she steps outta line, you can punish her any way you see fit.
That sounds pretty reasonable, Istafan.
All right.
But Telamon I want you to teach that girl that dancing is evil! I will.
Are you sure you and Xena don't wanna spend the night in the store? We could set up some cots for you.
We'll be fine.
We're used to roughing it.
Thank you for bringing Tara back to us.
It's our pleasure.
-Good night, Gabrielle.
-Good night, Tara.
I hate foreign food.
What are you doing? Ever since I heard that it's not allowed I've never wanted to dance so badly all my life! Just fells so good Let's just try and get some sleep, huh? Is the plan underway? I gotta dance.
Go to sleep.
Do you do repairs? Shoes and boots Bags and saddles.
I travel a lot! I don't want some half-hearted patch job.
I just want something that will last.
It'll take me at least -three days.
-Three days? You didn't hear? Phillipan, the reformer's coming.
People have been talking about it all morning.
He's supposed to be a great preacher of righteousness.
That's exactly what this town needs Another "holier-than-thou" preacher.
You watch your mouth, young lady! I'm sorry.
Look, you can't make me walk around barefoot for three days.
I'll getcha some loaners.
Here he comes! Clear the way! In the name of Calliope on behalf of all the citizens of Palios and all righteous people everywhere I welcome a great man and a great prophet to our city! Ladies and gentlemen I give you Phillipan The reformer! Bless you! Betcha could get to like that, huh? Got your pigeon.
What, didja shoot it from a catapult? The tail feathers were smokin'.
-Hey, how'ja round up all the people? -We love ya, Phillipan! We started a rumor about your coming three days ago.
Thanks for getting here so quickly.
Well, I figure you sprang for the express bird.
It's gotta be important not to mention the reward you promised me.
Don't tell me this is another "virtue is its own reward" job We love you, Phillipan! -Xena, I thought better of you, I really did.
-Phillipan! Over here! You know I might as well go back to Oman, because I got a good thing going there with the king's sister.
I'm this close to the crown jewels and he doesn't suspect a thing.
He does now.
I sent two pigeons.
Follow my lead! People of Palios! May I present to you Phillipan of Crete.
Reformer of warlords, dancers and evil people! It's even said that he once convinced the king of thieves himself to do a good deed, for no reward other than his own virtue! Well, I wouldn't believe everything you hear.
King of thieves? That degenerate blowhard Beg your pardon? Sinners like him never have the courage to be really successful.
I'm sure he's just a fraud and an idiot.
No doubt.
Would you excuse me? This plan of yours does it involve humiliating that horse's ass? -Yep.
-Then I'm in.
Good citizens of Palios Heed my words.
You know how it happens.
It all starts with a tune rollin' around in your head.
The next thing you know you're hummin' at work, ain'tcha? You've done it.
You've heard it We've all been there.
Then you know what? Your toe starts to tap.
And your heel followed by your knee, 'cause they're all connected.
It moves on up, and then you start gyratin'.
The next thing you know you just gotta let it go! Trust me, good people.
I know from whereof I speak.
For I, myself, was on that rocky road to Tartarus.
That's right, brothers and sisters.
In my wild and misspent youth I, too, danced.
But then an amazing event transpired.
The goddess Calliope came into my life and claimed it as her own! Praise Calliope! -Praise Calliope! -Praise her! Praise her! Get 'em up! Praise her! Nice and loud, now.
I know you can do it.
Praise her! -Praise her! Get 'em up, Gabrielle.
-No.
Istafan I can tell that you have a righteous community here.
But I just wonder Are you doin' everything you can? -Whaddya mean? -Well Is it enough to simply eliminate dancing? What about singing? Painting? Flashy embroidery? For shame! I'm telling you, people! Extremism in the name of piety is no vice.
Get 'em up and praise her! Get 'em up and praise her! Praise Calliope! Are you praisin' Calliope? Get 'em up! Come on! There you go, Istafan To the sky to praise her! Praise her! Praise her! Praise her! -Can you believe this? -Come on, folks.
-Give it up for the goddess.
-He suckered everyone.
-Wave those hand for the muse.
-No.
Not everyone.
Get 'em up and praise her! She's up there! She can't hear! Louder! Louder out of you! Telamon You didn't stay for the end of Phillipan's speech.
I had all this work to get done.
Oh, that explains it! I thought, maybe you felt that Phillipan's ideas were a little extreme.
Well, they certainly are strict but I'm sure he and Istafan know what's best.
It's a pity that the kids don't feel that way.
You know, I sure hate to see children pitted against their own parents.
That's ridiculous! Andros is my life.
He's a good boy.
He's the most important thing in my life, now his brother's gone.
His brother? Yeah.
He moved to Athens a few years back.
Why? He got a job there.
But Andros is gonna stay here with me! A little moral teaching isn't gonna frighten him off.
Well, I'm glad you feel that way.
You know what? This Phillipan might be just what this town needs.
I'm tellin' you, Istafan I see signs of decadence everywhere I go in this town.
Do you realize, on my way here, I saw two people holding hands? You know where that can lead? -Now, brother -Yes? I noticed last night at the meetin' This is exactly what I'm talkin' about, Istafan.
-Look at that filth! -What's wrong with that? My father painted that.
It's where he was born.
You painted that? -Well, I know it's not very good.
-Good? It's an abomination! Don't tell me you don't see it! Look.
Look at the firmness of those rounded peaks! The cleft in that valley.
And the tower! Thrusting skyward! Oh, Phillipan's right.
It's obscene! That's not true.
My father's a good man.
He wouldn't paint anything wrong! So Even good men can fall prey to bad influences.
The painting must be destroyed.
Calliope has spoken.
Praise her! I'm a candle in the wind My future flickers 'fore my eyes I'm too restless to be satisfied with silence So, I'll push further through the night Say you wanna put me out when I'm lonely No, I've heard those lies before 'Cause the fire inside, it just keeps burning Just won't stand it anymore You came along You pulled me up when I was down The way you made me feel just took me by surprise You took my hand, you stole my heart, you fed the fire When you moved with me you gave me back my life Let the spirit move me Let the spirit move me Let the spirit move me Let the spirit move me Let the spirit move me Let the spirit move me What is it, Andros? What's the matter? I'm leaving, Tara For good.
And I want you to come with me.
Cha, cha, cha.
Cha, cha, cha.
Settle down, you're calling attention to us.
-I can't help it.
-Have you seen Tara? She's supposed to meet me and tell me how it's going with the other kids.
No, I haven't seen her.
-What's wrong? -Nothing, I hope.
She's gone.
They're both gone.
Xena? So Off you go again.
It was all about the cute guy, wasn't it? Hey, it wasn't her idea to leave.
I asked Tara to come with me.
-Really? -I've had it! I've had it with their backward ideas! Their rules! Their laws! My brother found a great job in Athens.
That's where we're heading.
And after that? -You mean, you didn't tell him, Tara -Tell me what? That running away isn't a solution.
It's what cowards do when they're not willing to stand and fight for what they believe in.
Isn't that right, Tara? Look, Andros, I understand why you wanna leave.
But you should understand what it means.
It means you never stop.
It means no home, and no family and your father loses another son.
And it means not sticking around ever long enough to help the ones you actually claim you care about.
You know, Tara, I got involved with this because I thought I sensed a change in you, somehow.
I'm really getting into these metal patches.
I like steel.
Gabrielle, I sense that there's some pent-up energy Some frustration eating at you.
Some unresolved desire.
-I can tell! You need to get -Dancing! I just wanna dance.
Well, actually I was on a different track.
You know? I hope that Tara can talk those kids into going along with this.
Yeah? Well, if she doesn't I'll be squandering one of my finest performances.
Good day to you, Istafan! Are you ready to see the seeds planted that will sprout into the fruits of our labors? Yes.
Phillipan, I must ask, do you really think? What's that you're doing, young lady? I'm just nervous.
Well, as I was saying, well Yeah? Do you really think milit'ry training's what our children need? 'Course.
See All that excess energy that used to be squandered on degenerate dance can now be channeled into martial discipline.
Well, I guarantee it'll work.
See, I talked Xena into leadin' the drill herself.
She'll whoop 'em into shape! It's just that there's an election tomorrow.
This may not be that popular with the voters I mean, the public.
Left! Left! Left, right, left! Left! Left! Left, right, left! Doesn't that look good? Praise Calliope! Praise her! Left, right, left! Left! Left! Left, right, left! Halt! All right, now let's get this going.
We're here to purify your minds.
We're here to give you a little focus.
Now that's a very important word for you Focus.
-Say it with me! Focus! -Focus! Focus! -You all right? -Yeah, get on with it.
Some of you think that dance is a way to express your inner feelings It's an art! Well, Phillipan has asked me to show you a real art! The art of war! War! War! War! So, this first move is called "defense of the perimeter" and it insures that anyone who gets in your space loses an arm! A leg! Or a vital body part! Then let us begin.
One! Two! Three.
Four.
Five.
Altogether now! One! Two.
Three! Four! Five! You were right! This is going down very well with the voters I mean, the parents.
With respect, I tend to work better without an audience.
No problem! Clear the area! Xena needs to work! Now, everyone, except the children, home! Ok.
So you guys have seen the basic moves.
And now if you give us some space my lovely assistant and I will put it together.
Gabrielle? All right! Who's next? Thank you.
Thank you, but really You give me too much credit.
The great changes that have been introduced to this town recently are the doin's of my friend.
I hope I can call ya that.
Speech! Come on up here.
You know who he is! My friend, Istafan! Xena! I understand today's teachings went well.
Very well, Phillipan.
The kids are quick learners.
I'm hoping to begin lessons in swordplay by the end of the week.
In one week Praise Calliope! That is absolutely wonderful.
Well, then strategies and tactics can't be far behind, can they? Did you show 'em those hand-to-hand killing techniques? Tomorrow.
No! My child is not going to learn how to kill! I won't have it! Teaching them to kill to take their minds off dance? Have you heard anything more ridiculous? Perhaps you can talk about that with Istafan after the elections when things have calmed down a little When the children are more focused.
After the election is too late.
Andros Your brother, Thanos, didn't leave because he found a job in Athens.
He left because he didn't wanna be here.
He hated this place Hated what we made of it! I've already lost one son because of our ignorance.
I refuse to lose another! But I know I will unless things change.
As of tonight I intend to run against Istafan, as chief magistrate of our town! We need change! Or our children will leave us.
And our town will die.
It looks as though you'll have a real election now.
Father I wouldn't worry about it, though.
I'm not worried.
So today when you raise your arm to vote, remember You're not voting for Istafan or I You're voting for a sane way to deal with our traditions.
Our children! And our tures! Thank you! -What are you looking for? -Licinus.
Where is he? -How did I do with your speech? -It was fine.
You did drop the line about everlasting judgment and posterity.
Well, I thought it was a little over the top.
Oh, really? Let it go, Gabrielle.
Praise Calliope! Brother Istafan asked me to say a few words on his behalf.
Sinners, beware! Your time is at hand.
Everyone! Stay calm! Licinus, have the militia search for the perpetrator! -Over here, quickly! -I'll check the alley! We'll cover the gates! People! This is what I was afraid of! Telamon wanted change! Well! I guess he got it, all right? Our first assassination attempt! With all this dissension we've been having lately I think it only makes sense that the assassin was Licinus.
Licinus? -Licinus? -Well That's ridiculous! It was one of those young rebels! Any time I have ever seen Istafan, Licinus has been at his side until today when suddenly, for the most important event of the year, he's not here.
He was looking after security matters! Well, he didn't do a very good job then, did he? This is ridiculous! Why would I want Phillipan killed? Who said anything about you, Istafan? I was talking about Licinus.
What I meant was, someone under my I mean, someone who works for me You're lost for words? That's somewhat outta character, don't ya think? Istafan wanted Phillipan dead 'cause he thought he could scare you into thinking change would bring anarchy.
This man would do anything to remain in power including lying, murdering, and brutalizing your children.
It's all lies.
Everything I've done was for the sake of the children.
Then it'll be interesting to see how you deal with this.
Militia! Militia! Arrest them all! Come and get some! Wait! I have seen the light! Calliope has spoken to me! The scales have fallen from my eyes! Let's dance! Come on! Come on! Here we go! Wait!