Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990) s04e07 Episode Script

- You guys, let's just start without her.
- No.
If this is gonna be our official sorority meeting, then we're gonna do it right.
Here we go.
One for you, and one for you, and one for you.
- Thank you.
- And one for me.
- Sorry I'm late.
- New dress? Oh, this old thing? Well, it's not too incredible or anything.
It was on sale at Maxwell's.
The best part is I bought it with my very first paycheck.
Working girl.
- Yeah, well, I hope he likes it.
- He? You mean she hasn't told you about Stuart yet? You're going out with a guy named Stuart? I know, but you're gonna love him.
He is very sweet.
How did you meet him? Actually, my father set us up.
Hold on.
We will get the dirt on this and other major matters right after the meeting.
Well, how long does a sorority meeting last? Well, at the Alpha House, the secretary reads the minutes.
Then there's old business, new business.
Then we adjourn the meeting, and we see who got pinned and who lost their virginity.
Well, then, I hereby move for this meeting to be adjourned.
- I second it.
- I second it.
It's unanimous.
Meeting adjourned.
So did anyone get pinned or lose their virginity over this weekend? Well, now, Kelly, I lost my virginity a couple years ago.
Well, I was just wondering if you and Stuart had taken a ride on the roller coaster yet.
No.
But we're going dancing again tonight, so check back with me tomorrow.
Andrea, let's face it, we're the last of a dying breed.
Well, from what I hear from Brandon, Andrea and her dorm adviser are getting pretty chummy.
- Dan's a nice guy.
- Is that it? For now.
Get back to me at the end of the semester.
Well, my love life is a mess, as usual.
- Thought you liked John Sears.
- And I do.
The timing just couldn't be worse.
The night I break up with Dylan, he gets carjacked.
- Poor Dylan.
- Well, at least he wasn't hurt.
Well, I think he's feeling a lot better today.
- Why? Did you talk to him? - No.
But Brandon did, and I think they found his car.
Think you'll recognize it, man? You only had the car a day.
Look, Brandon, how many 911 's you figure they got in this lot? I don't know, ten, 12.
It is L.
A.
, after all.
What, you think it's right here under this sheet? Damn it.
You should be thankful this isn't your car.
It's an ugly car.
It's like a nightmare and it's getting worse.
There's a cop over by that shed.
He probably knows something.
Right.
Excuse me, officer.
Listen, I got a call, said you found my car.
From who? I don't know.
Some guy called and said you recovered my Porsche.
No Porsches came in this week.
Are you sure, man? The guy called me up and gave me the serial number off the engine and said the car was right here.
Let me see your registration.
Could it be in another impound yard, maybe? Seems there was a little mistake, boys.
The car we recovered was a Honda Civic.
Wait, you're telling me that I came down here to this hellhole for nothing? You don't even have my car? Sorry, there was a screwup.
A screwup.
From the police department? I'm shocked.
Hey Hey.
Hey, I'm talking to you.
Listen, he got carjacked a couple nights ago.
He's just not himself.
Yeah, well, tell your buddy to cool it before he gets into some real trouble.
Yeah, I'll do my best.
Thanks.
- What is so funny? - Nothing.
Everything.
I don't know.
Normally, I'm a real sourpuss.
But when I'm with you, I get giddy.
Well, I have that effect on depressive types.
- Oh, okay.
- Thank you, Mr.
Carson.
You know, you can call me Stuart.
Unless you still hate my name.
No, I'm getting used to it, but what if I call you Stewie? The last person who called me that was my mother.
Scratch that.
What about Stu? As in beef stew? Well, it's meaty, it's hearty, it sticks to your ribs.
Oh, that's not working for you either, is it? My father used to call me Stu.
But then he developed some other nicknames.
Like what? When I dropped out of college, he called me The Bum.
When I was trying to promote rock concerts, he called me The Hippie.
When I tried to get into commercial real estate, he called me The Fool.
I don't think you wanna know what he started calling me when I tried to buy into some racehorses.
Oh, man.
I've never seen that side of your father.
Well, his true personality only comes out when he's lecturing me.
How about if I just call you Stuart? That's good.
Now, could you whisper that in my ear? No.
Hey, you night crawlers, it's 2 a.
m.
, and time for the David Silver Show.
Here's David.
Andrea.
Andrea, it's getting late.
I was having the most amazing dream.
Was there yogurt involved? No, we were flying.
It was great.
Only now I don't have the strength to put my clothes on.
So stay.
- No, I can't.
- Stay.
I can't, I can't.
I stayed last night and I almost missed my first class.
You are not the most dependable alarm clock.
I wish it didn't have to be this way.
Today I was with my friends and they kept talking about their boyfriends.
I couldn't even say a word.
Andrea, we both agreed it's for the best we don't go public.
It's not fair.
I mean It's not like you're my teacher anymore.
I looked at the college guidelines on resident advisers.
They do not have a non-fraternization rule.
No, not specifically, but how it's interpreted is a whole other matter.
What's the worst thing that could happen if they find out about us? Oh, I don't know.
And I don't wanna know.
Do you? Sleep well.
Thanks.
- Bye.
- Hey, invite me in? - What? - Invite me in.
Yeah, right.
My parents are probably inside waiting with the lights turned down.
Good.
If they're up, I'll just explain why I can't bear to live without you.
Stuart, I think we'd better call it a night.
Easy for you.
I'm not letting you go.
What are you doing? You cannot come in.
- You're coming back to my place.
- No, Stuart.
Put me down.
Your wish is my command.
So Did I sweep you off your feet? Look, this is so good.
I don't think that we should rock the boat.
I don't wanna rock the boat.
I wanna sink the boat.
Go.
Brenda, we have to talk.
Look, I know I'm late.
We just lost track of the time, and I'm really sorry.
Well, that's a start.
We have to lay down some very clear rules, young lady.
I don't get it.
What's the problem? I mean, I'm working, I'm going to school.
You guys just go on with your lives, and I promise I'll be fine.
Brenda, this is the third time this week you've come in at 3 a.
m.
Well, look at it this way.
Consider yourselves lucky I came home at all.
Good night.
Well, things are back to normal at the old Walsh household.
Mom's talking to herself.
Dad's coming to me for advice, and you're back in the old doghouse.
No, I'm one foot out the door.
So, what's really going on with you and Stuart? - What do you think is going on? - Oh, I don't know.
He's rich, he's good-looking, he's rich.
There's gotta be a catch.
You know, you're worse than Mom and Dad.
Are you saying this guy's all together? Brandon, let me put it to you this way.
There's never been anyone in my life, including Dylan McKay, who knows how to - How to what? - I'm trying to find the right word.
How to woo.
Stuart gives good woo? The best.
In that case, does he have a twin sister who's as rich as he is? And if you've done the reading, don't worry.
You will not fall below the Mendoza Line for a grade of C.
- Yeah? - The Mendoza Line? - Was that in the chapters? - Mendoza Line? No, that's not in your reading, will not be on the test.
So if there's nothing else, look, life is short, study hard.
Class dismissed.
It looks like I'm gonna be in all night studying my notes.
Wanna come over? I don't think so.
I'm not gonna sweat this one.
Steve, you're gonna brick this test.
You're gonna find yourself below his Mendoza Line, whatever that is.
I don't think so.
You see, the KEG House has this one-hour super cram.
Guaranteed to bring you up to speed on any exam.
One hour? Yeah, I can let you in on some of these frat secrets if you'd like.
I think I'll stay away from your shortcuts, Mr.
Legacy Key.
Mr.
Begging- Mrs.
-Teasley-to-Graduate.
Is this why you took down Professor Randall's office hours? Maybe you're planning on sucking up a little bit, huh? No, I'm not planning on sucking up.
I don't wanna be another face in the crowd.
There's nothing wrong with personalizing the student-teacher relationship, I read that somewhere.
- I think it was Dante.
- In other words, you are sucking up.
Give me a break, will you? Between Brenda's undeclared war on my parents and Dylan's psychosis, I don't know what's going on.
It's gotta be rough getting your car jacked.
Yeah, it's not only that.
Kelly tells him she wants to start dating other people like an hour before this kid sticks a gun in his face.
Don't tell anyone, though, it's top-secret.
It's no secret at the KEG House.
Everyone knows John Sears is going out with her.
So you figure if the insurance company is willing to settle, then there's not much chance of ever finding it, am I right? The claims officer said that if a stolen vehicle is not recovered in the first 48 hours, it's already at a chop shop or halfway down to Guadalajara.
I hate to admit it, but you were right, Jim.
I shouldn't have bought that car in the first place.
You're covered for a rental vehicle until you wanna buy a new one.
Any idea what you might want? Oh, I don't know.
I was thinking maybe a tank.
Urban assault vehicle, that kind of thing.
I'm glad to see you still have a sense of humor.
Is that what this is? You know, in a situation like that, there's nothing you could have done.
Well, I don't know, Jim.
I mean, I could've jammed through the light.
I could've honked my horn, backed up and knocked the guy over, and I didn't do any of those things, man.
I froze.
I thought maybe the kid was lost, you know, then he whips out this gun.
I got the barrel right in my face, and I'm looking down that little hole.
And I saw my whole life in that hole.
But he didn't care.
He was ready to kill me and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.
You know, it might not be such a bad idea to get counseling.
It really helped Brenda.
Actually, I I got something else in mind.
Hey, you're good.
Dodge City, you better be.
Mom, I told you, you cannot park in the apartment manager's spot.
He told me it was okay.
- Hi, Jackie.
- Hi, Donna.
You're doing David's laundry again? Why not? It's the highlight of my social life.
Oh, and I ordered pizza for you guys.
One vegetarian and one with pepperoni.
Well, thank you.
Wow, your mom is so great.
Yeah, you don't have to listen to her constant complaining about how miserably lonely she is and how I never come to visit, and how awful it is sharing Erin with Mel.
It's enough to drive me crazy.
Look who's here.
Hi, baby doll.
Erin, you are so precious.
Well, we're just one big, happy family.
One big, happy, dysfunctional family.
Don't listen to her.
She's a psych major.
Oh, I understand, but I'd rather cut myself shaving than watch the Clippers lose from the nosebleed section.
But, no, I appreciate you thinking of me, thanks.
All right, bye-bye.
How you doing? Cory Randall.
You are? Brandon Walsh.
I'm in your class.
Nosebleed section.
Seat 125.
Great, great.
Thanks for coming by.
I wish more of my students would come by and introduce themselves.
- Why don't you have a seat? - Thanks.
So I take it you're into sports, huh? Yeah, why not? By studying them, I get a lot of free tickets.
I know, I was the sports editor on my high school newspaper.
Well, good.
So you probably know the origins of the Mendoza Line.
Actually, I ran a check on my computer last night and came up empty.
Try the sports page.
So, what, are you a little uptight about this test? No, not really.
But if you wanna show me an advance copy, I wouldn't complain.
- Brandon, you read Chapter 2, right? - Sure.
You're already in the hall of fame.
- Hi there.
- Hi.
In the market for a used StairMaster? Only if it steps two.
I really enjoyed last night.
So I noticed.
Look at this.
We could buy an almost new, king-sized waterbed.
I don't think we should consider buying common property when we can't even hold hands in public.
- Andrea - You better turn away from me.
- Somebody might be watching us.
- You're not being fair.
I'm not? Excuse me, what about you? Every time I think about us, I don't understand it.
Why is it we have to hide behind closed doors? I mean, are you so ashamed that you're going out with a freshman? Of course not.
Well, why is it all we can do is do it in your room? Look, it's just You know People talk.
Look, we can't go on this way.
What are we gonna do? Brando, I think I actually aced my first college exam.
Steve, what's the matter with you? I just asked you about social structure, which is what the last section of the test was on, and you haven't told me what your answers were.
I wrote GAIL.
You wrote GAIL? Who's GAIL? Goals, Adaptation, Integration and Law.
- Very good, Steve.
I'm impressed.
- You know.
Hey, Dr.
Henderberry.
That's what you get when you take the KEG super cram.
Hey, Silver.
What's going on? Moby Dick.
Eight hundred and twenty-two pages.
If I can get halfway through it, I may not get bounced.
You're gonna get bounced.
Don't worry, just take a load off.
The whale did it.
- The whale did it.
- Thanks.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, John.
Hi, Kelly.
Hey, Steve.
Charlie Dixon goes to Leslie Summer and says, "Listen, with your blessing, we'd like this year's KEG-Alpha homecoming float to reflect something a little more relevant.
" So, what are we doing? A tribute to Velcro and other household fasteners.
That's good.
Who thought of that? Thank you, thank you, thank you.
- You're a funny guy.
- I'm trying.
So when do I graduate from phone date to the real thing? Maybe after midterms, if you're nice.
If I'm ni? I'm nice.
I thought you broke up with McKay.
I did.
But right now, I need to talk to him.
Kelly, I'm not just doing doughnuts here, am I? You know, spinning my wheels, chasing my vestigial tail? You're a funny guy.
Hey.
- How you doing? - I'm doing.
Well, it's good to see you back on campus.
And why is it good to see me back on campus? Don't do this, Dylan.
I still wanna be part of your life.
Kel, what do you wanna go and do something like that for? - My life sucks, and you know it.
- Dylan.
What do you want me to say? None of this has been easy on me, I'll tell you that.
But I'm not gonna get myself in another situation where some little punk with a big gun can do a number on me.
I'm about to pop a pie in the microwave, if you wanna hang around.
No, thanks, I'll troll for it later.
I gotta hit the books.
What about you, Brenda? I did my studies this afternoon.
No, I think she meant, do you want a piece of pie? No, I can't.
I have to go.
Stuart's waiting for me.
Guys, I promised that I would meet him for coffee.
We won't be late.
Be firm but gentle, Dad.
I think they like each other.
I'm getting that impression.
I mean, what is the crime here? You set us up.
What, do you want us to hate each other? No, that's not the point.
This whole thing with Stuart is going way too fast.
Honey, just give yourselves time to come up for air.
I mean, you've got other things going on in your life.
I'm keeping up with everything.
What about him? Larry Carson is a pretty demanding boss.
I can't imagine he's too happy about his son gallivanting around every night.
Hello.
Yes, he's right here.
Thank you.
Well, that sounds wonderful.
It's Larry Carson.
He's inviting us to his place in Bel Air for brunch on Saturday.
Is he really? He called it a triple date.
I rest my case.
Okay, folks, read them and weep.
Nice work.
For those of you who did well, have a nice weekend.
For those of you who did not, shame on you.
Bro, I got a B.
I told you, you should have joined a fraternity, man.
I will follow my brothers through the gates of hell.
I love college.
- How'd you do? - I got an A-plus.
So you did.
What's this? A note from Professor Randall? Could you meet me tomorrow at 1:30? A Saturday meeting? How cozy.
Well, it's obvious you've become the teacher's pet.
How about the Santa Monica promenade? There must be at least a dozen films there.
No, half the students from our dorm will be out there cruising.
Hey, what about the Nuart Theatre? They're showing a D.
H.
Lawrence double feature film.
No.
- You don't wanna go see that.
- I didn't say that.
No, but you were thinking that it's just the kind of movie people from your department would wanna go and see.
Look, I came here because I wanted to ask you out.
On a real date in front of real people.
But you gotta decide what we're doing.
I just need I just need time to think about this.
I mean, it's not easy going public.
Every place feels so risky.
See? So it's not just me.
We could always do your room.
Did anybody see you come in here? No.
How are you at Scrabble? - You want another bite? - No.
No? You don't want another bite? - Look over here, silly.
- I think she's had enough.
Well, I just like to make sure she's well-fed, because who knows what goes into her after Mel takes her.
Well, I'll clean her up because Mel should be here any time.
Thanks, honey.
I want her ready and me long gone before he gets here.
Dylan's on his way over too.
You're kidding? You guys are back on? Well, I said to him, "I still wanna be part of your life.
" And today, he called me up and he asked me to go out on a date, to the gun range.
Oh, how romantic.
What was I supposed to say? According to Chapter 4 of my psych book, you're going through post-traumatic stress syndrome.
Well, you just be careful there.
I will.
I'm just going to keep him company.
That must be him.
I'll get it.
Hi, Dave.
Donna, you look great.
- Thanks, Mel.
- Hey, Dad.
Hi, Nina.
Who's Nina? You working out or something? You look big, nice and buff.
Well, it's Nina's doing.
She's a fitness fanatic.
- Where's my little darling? - I assume you don't mean me.
I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd still be here.
- Nina, this is Jackie, Erin's mother.
- And don't you forget it.
Jackie, you're just making this worse than it is.
Oh, I am, huh? Well, tough.
Have a nice weekend.
You certainly started mine out right.
Your mother just won't let us get on with our lives.
Can you blame her? How could you bring your girlfriend here, Mel? - I can't win.
- Yeah.
Kelly, they were gonna meet sooner or later.
You are just as bad as your father, aren't you? Well, you're just as neurotic as your mother.
Excuse me, can I say something? - No.
- No.
Fine.
All right, your turn.
Sorry, you know I'm for gun control.
Yeah, well if you wanna control your gun, use both hands.
Come on, you'd be a fool not to learn this.
Dylan, don't call me that.
Kelly, there are 2 million handguns in Los Angeles alone.
How soon before one of them is pointed at you? Now, come on, do one clip.
It won't kill you.
There you go.
Get it like that.
Square yourself up to the target like I did.
Now, just aim and squeeze the trigger.
It's gonna be loud, isn't it? Yeah, but just expect it.
The first one's always the worst.
Where do I aim? Hit the target.
Go for the center.
I can't do this.
Hey, what do you want? You wanna be a statistic? You wanna be a victim? I mean, Kelly, the writing is spray painted on the wall.
You got as much a chance of taking a bullet as being in a car accident.
Am I not supposed to worry about that? It's not my problem, let other people worry? I'm worried about you.
Don't be.
I'm getting pretty good at this.
What's wrong with you? I'm just scared.
I'm scared.
That's why I'm learning to protect myself.
Can't we just get out of here, please? Haven't you been listening to anything I've said? What do you want me to say? It's a violent world out there and nobody's safe.
I didn't make the rules, but no one's safe.
Not you, not me, nobody.
Thank you.
Good morning, Mr.
And Mrs.
Walsh.
The Carsons are by the pool.
If you'll just follow the path through the garden.
Thank you.
Where have you guys been? We've been waiting for you.
We thought you lost track of time.
- Are we late? - No, you're not late.
You're as punctual as ever.
Brenda, stop giving your father a hard time.
How you doing, Jim? Terrific, Larry.
Your house is overwhelming.
Well, thank you.
We like it.
- You must be Cindy.
- Hi, very nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
And this is my wife, Vivian.
Hello, Vivian.
Oh, are these for me? They're beautiful.
Your gardens are beautiful.
I have never seen so many Oceana roses.
We're going to get along fabulously.
Stuart.
Stuart, get your rude self out of the pool right now and come and say hi to the Walshes.
- Well, at least he didn't call me Stu.
- Hey, relax.
It's only my parents.
- Hi, how you doing? - Hi.
Just let me dry off.
- This is going to be a long afternoon.
- It sure is.
Hey Mom, you don't have to apologize.
I'm just so ashamed, walking out like I did.
I didn't even say goodbye to Erin.
- I miss her so much.
- Well, you'll see her Sunday night.
I hate the weekends.
Mom, it's gonna be all right, okay? - Andrea.
- Hey, gents.
- Kelly's looking for you.
- That's why we're here.
What's going on? We haven't seen you around.
I've been involved.
- Involved? Involved is good.
- Involved is good.
Yeah, involved is good.
But I feel like I'm trying to get into an ice-cold pool step by step.
I know I'm gonna love it, it's just the getting there that's agony.
Well, call me a guy, but in situations like this, I usually opt for the old cannonball.
The flying cannonball.
Into the deep end, preferably naked.
- Naked is good.
- I'll take that into consideration.
- Just remember, naked is good.
- Naked is good.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Kel.
What's going on? - Thanks for coming.
- No problem, what's up? Dylan.
He's acting very scary.
I'm sure he's gonna be fine, Kel.
Not if he's spending all of his time at a target range shooting guns.
Is that what he's doing? Believe me, Steve, it's not wow.
It's like ever since the carjacking, he's gone gun-crazy.
I wouldn't be surprised if he's bought one.
Listen, Kel, I grew up hunting.
Owning a gun is not the worst thing a guy can do.
Besides, it's just a fact of life, ever since the riots, people in L.
A.
Have been arming themselves.
Yeah, I get it.
Because this is the Wild West? It's the good guys and the bad guys killing each other every day, right? - I wouldn't go that far.
- Well, maybe Dylan would.
Guys, he's acting like he's Rambo or something.
When he shaves his head and starts talking to the mirror, then we'll worry.
Brandon, you've seen him, he is not in a good way.
I'll admit it, he's had some bad moments.
Bad moments? I haven't seen him this angry, including when his father died.
I mean, I'm just afraid that he's gonna hurt himself or somebody else.
All right, assuming you're right, what do you want us to do about it? Just go over there.
Talk to him, see for yourself.
Because he sure will not listen to me.
I've gotta go to campus and talk to this professor.
- But we'll get with him today.
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
- He's our friend too.
Here you are.
Am I the only one having seconds around here? That would be thirds, Dad.
Jim, I hate to talk business, but since I have you here, I hope you don't mind taking a look at the preliminary numbers on this Plano project.
Well, I think this is my cue to exit.
Hey, Stuart, this mall project involves you too.
During the week it does.
But right now, if you don't mind, the kids would like to be excused.
Brenda, would you tell him that with his attitude, he's never gonna amount to much? Stuart, with your attitude, you're What was that again, Larry? Go on, get out of here.
Oh, they are so cute together.
- Hey, thanks for coming down.
- You bet.
Believe me, I wouldn't have brought you down here on Saturday if it wasn't a front-burner issue.
Not a problem.
What's going on? Well, it's about one of your classmates.
His name is D'Shawn Hardell.
Although, really, he just likes the letter D on his jersey.
Right, right, I read about this kid.
Hot prospect from Texas, just transferred here from some JC.
Yeah, unfortunately his academic game isn't what it should be.
To say that this guy needs a little coaching would be an extreme understatement.
So you want me to tutor him? Well, I'm interviewing five students for the job.
Look, from your test, obviously you've got a firm grasp of the fundamentals and I know you're a fellow sports pig, so that makes you a candidate for the job.
Cool.
I should tell you something.
D'Shawn's not dumb.
He's got it in him to be a fine student.
He's just not motivated.
- So it could be a struggle.
- I'm game.
And there's gonna be a little pressure too.
If he's gonna be eligible to walk on the court, he's gotta get at least a C in my class.
- The Mendoza Line.
- That's right.
Named after Mario Mendoza, a bad-bat, good-glove infielder whose lifetime batting average was 200.
A statistical measure for major-league competence.
If you don't mind, I'll just cancel the other interviews.
- You mean I got the job? - Slam dunk.
All right.
Thanks.
Okay.
Great shot.
Pinball's one of the few things I'm really good at.
At least, according to my father.
Well, it must be very hard to try and live up to his expectations.
I gave that up a long time ago.
I just let my dad write me off as the idiot child.
Well, that's his loss.
But I must be maturing, because for the first time, I'm really enjoying being back in the family fold.
I think you helped.
A lot.
Well, like I said, I have that effect on depressive types.
Hold on, hold on.
My parents are just outside.
Oh, so now the shoe's on the other foot? Well, I don't care.
Let them find out.
I love Hey, is this where the party's at? Hey, either one of you guys D'Shawn Hardell? - Who's asking? - Brandon Walsh.
Professor Randall told me I could meet him here.
Oh, yeah, man.
You're my tutor.
- That's me.
- Sweet.
- How much they paying you? - Not as much as they're paying you.
That's cold.
And I could have had a lot better deal at Arizona State, you understand? But it was a numbers thing, and I was man out.
So now I'm a Condor.
Hey, right on the glass.
Yeah.
- Hardell.
- Hey, call me D'Shawn, coz.
D'Shawn, we gotta hit the books, man.
Randall wants us to jump right in and get ready for Monday's class.
Don't hold the ball.
Shoot it.
Come on, man, we've got studying to do.
- The ball.
- Go on, now.
Only if you can make that shot.
You got it, man.
He's hard.
Brandon is hard.
Let's go, two on two.
I'll take my tutor.
- Think fast.
- Bingo, come on now.
Come on, give it up.
Donna, did Dylan call for me? Great, Kelly's home.
No, only John Sears.
Look, she's gonna notice Erin, so just be up-front and lose the attitude.
Come on.
Heave-ho.
Hi, Kelly.
Say hi to Kelly, Erin.
- You're babysitting? - Well, it's just for the afternoon.
This is incredible.
Mel strikes again, huh? He dumped her on you.
Look, just yell all you want and get it over with, okay? Yeah, I will.
Because I think your father is sick.
Your mom's a space case half the time.
- At least she's trying, David.
- Yeah, well, so is he.
You guys, please.
- She started it.
- Oh, yeah, I started it.
Now, neither of you started it.
This is your parents' war, not yours.
- She's right.
- Yeah.
I think that for Erin's sake, we need to both remember not to fight our parents' battles.
All right.
That's better.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Your note said to meet you in the Union for a date.
So here I am.
Good boy.
Where we going? Oxnard? No, right here.
No.
Not quite here.
Would you say that this is the exact center of the room? It appears to be, yes.
What kind of date is this? Just say, it is my version of a flying cannonball.
I just don't think we're gonna be able to defer, Larry.
I'm gonna have to run those numbers again.
Larry, are you still hounding this poor man? They're ready to leave and we're going out tonight.
Okay, the boss has spoken.
Now we just have to find Brenda.
Well, I understand that she and Stuart are going out tonight too.
Again? Listen, I gotta tell you, I think that Brenda is the best thing that ever happened to my son.
- She is.
She really is.
- But every night? Don't think they're burning the candle at both ends? Are you kidding? I wish I had all that energy.
Listen, you sit.
I'll go find the kids.
Thanks.
Would you like some coffee? Coffee, please.
Stuart? Stuart? Hey.
Where's Brenda? The Walshes are leaving.
Well, she's taking a shower, Dad.
- Dad, I am over 21.
- But she's not.
Hey, show a little respect.
Now, get yourselves discreetly downstairs and you can take her home.
Why? We're going out.
Not tonight.
Her parents want her to stay in.
Dad, I have tickets.
Hey, you guys have the rest of your lives to be together.
Stuart Mr.
Carson.
Hello, honey.
Oh, my God.
Stuart, next time, get her to use the pool house.
I don't think her father is as tolerant as I am, huh? - Fellas, what's happening? - Looking for you, baby.
Glad you made it.
Otherwise, we'd eat this by ourselves.
- No chance.
- What's with the Jeep? Turning over a new leaf? No, it's just a rental till Manny gets the Speedster going.
Come on in.
Watch it, man, the cheese.
So, gentlemen, what is happening? Nothing, man.
How were the waves? They were about 3-foot.
Excellent sets, though.
Nice breaker to the left.
From out there, the city seems almost mellow.
I can almost imagine that.
Yeah, the problem is, eventually, you gotta paddle back in, so - You look a lot better, man.
- Yeah, I feel better.
In fact, I was thinking of taking some classes on Monday.
I heard you've been spending time at the gun range popping off caps.
Yeah.
Let me guess.
Kelly asked you to come over here and talk to me, right? She's just concerned, that's all.
She thinks you've gone Waco, man.
She thinks you're stockpiling firepower here.
Guys, she's overreacting.
I mean, come on, she's feeling guilty, and I think we all know why.
I'll get the plates, you guys grab the drinks.
Sounds good.
A Walther PPK 9 mm kurtz.
Excellent weapon.
Stopping power, size, elegance.
Fourteen in the clip, one in the pipe.
I tried other guns, but really, it was a no-brainer.
That's very unique.
Denny from the target range says you're a damn good shot.
Hold on, Mr.
McKay.
Denny never told me your age.
Unless you're over 21, I'm afraid I can't sell you a handgun.
Sorry, that's law.
Wait, you're telling me I can't buy peace of mind? How about a shotgun? Don't think it'll fit in my glove compartment.
Listen, this city's full of 15-year-olds with MAC-10 street sweepers.
I don't think anybody is checking their ID.
Hey, believe me, I sympathize with your situation, but I can't help you.
At least, not here.
But after hours, there are a lot of guys who can get you anything you want.
Okay.
I'll see you after hours.