Boston Legal s04e07 Episode Script

*** We're letting you go.
- Why? - You're fat.
So if I was thin, I.
I'd still have my job? If you were thin, I'd probably try and have sex with you.
Wait, no, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I've been damaged.
We'll see you all in court.
She's not coming back to a firm of fat bigots.
Are you this hostile in bed? Keep talking, Mr.
Crane.
All I hear is ca-ching, ca-ching, ca-ching.
You're fat.
Off you go now.
Take the man-eater with you.
My name is leigh swift.
And I am here today in hopes of securing legal counsel.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Would you like to get a drink with me? jerry, come on.
You need to keep reminding yourself that this is a good thing.
No, it's not.
Jerry.
Please don't use my name.
When you say my name, it reminds me who I am, which is jerry espenson, which is not a good thing to be at all in this situation.
Okay, first, stop pacing.
It's driving me.
stay! you've had two wonderful dates.
and we all know what's supposed to happen on the third date after two wonderful dates, don't we? You've really never kissed a wan? Not a real one.
Well, it's actually quite simple.
You just move your head towards hers until your lips touch.
Well, what about the tongue business? What am I supposed to do about that? you just sort of.
slip it in and, you know, move it around a little.
Oh, well.
Shouldn't you just write the book? Jerry, the thing about a first kiss, the combination of the psychological and physical stimuli can be overwhelming.
It's best to separate the two.
That would be helpful if I had any idea what you said.
Look.
you're standing at the door with your date.
- Lorraine.
- alan, please.
You look into her eyes, you hold each other's gaze.
You're essentially kissing now.
Not physically, but you're both saying with eye contact how much you long for the taste of each other's lips.
You moisten your own lips gently with your tongue.
A simple kiss now almost seems like nothing, and yet, it's everything.
Because there is nothing.
nothing.
so gentle as that first kiss.
Jerry? Jerry left us.
It's only a kiss, man.
It's not just a kiss.
That's the thing about lorraine, it's never just a kiss.
She.
I swear, she actually makes my tongue change color.
Let see.
It's normal color.
Not the tip.
It's bluish.
It's the normal color.
It's a bit puffy, though.
Is it swollen? It's a bit puffy.
Oh, sweet.
It's the fat bigot and his friend Mr.
Puffy tongue.
I don't believe we've officially met.
$1 million, nothing structured.
As I understand it, your client was offered her job back within an hour.
Oh, gee.
You're right.
You got me there.
$1 million.
I'm alan shore.
$1 million.
How about instead, I bite you on the inner thigh? Does that work for you? If only I'd really said that, but you, of course, misheard me.
Just as your client misheard denny.
Is that your defense? He didn't really fire her for being fat? Miss.
I'm sure you have a name, but I'm not much interested.
I've taken an immediate dislike to you.
I'm sure you get that a lot.
Where I was once prepared to be generous, now I'm not.
You've made the strategic mistake of pissing me off.
You scare me.
See me shudder? Take your clothes off.
I'll make you shudder.
That I did say.
your hostility is just a barely concealed form of foreplay.
I knew it.
You're a horny, insatiable little slut.
I could smell it the second you walked in.
Well, I'm happy to oblige.
let's you and i make like rabbits.
I realize this is unbelievably late notice.
when does your trial start? Today, actually.
Look, I-I just had a knockdown blowout with my lawyer.
Now he's out, and I-I'm desperate.
Let's back up.
Uh, what is yo trial about? I'm being charged with murder.
Mm, something simple then.
Look, I'm a police officer.
Well, I was.
They fired me.
I shot an unarmed man, mistaking him for a suspt.
I thought he had a gun.
Turned out to be a soda can the light caught funny.
Anyway, it was a mistake.
But the D.
A.
'S saying otherwise.
The thing is, they took an M.
R.
I.
Of my brain.
Why? The man I shot was african-american, and, uh, the district attorney's saying the shooting's racially motivated.
Look, I had a couple of incidents at work where I had to go get, you know, sensitivity training and so forth, but I'm not a racist.
Wait.
So they took a scan of your brain to see if the shooting was racially motivated? Yeah, they called it a functional M.
R.
I.
I've read that they can evidently detect a predisposition toward racial bias.
And did it, with you? Yes.
They plan to use it as evidence to convict me of second-degree murder.
Well, you were worse than me.
I just.
between my agitation over lorraine and this emma's repugnance.
I think she was prepared to he sex, though.
I could've been right on the money there.
So now what happens? Well, she's noticed your deposition.
After that, I'll bring our motion to dismiss.
I've been thinking a lot abt what you said, denny.
Oh, I'm glad to hear that.
What'd I say? You said that maybe lorraine is the one for me.
Maybe that's why I can't shake the neck or the kiss.
Maybe i just can't shake her.
Maybe lorraine's it.
I said that? What's the big deal, jerry? - Have you ever kissed a girl? - Yes.
As you or clevant? I kissed claire as me.
- I don't believe you.
- I did.
Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Clarence, I'm ashameto admit I've been googling myself again.
It happens when shirley's out of town.
And I've been on youtube again.
Do you know what's playing now? that was not.
oh, a minister? A preacher? Are you a man dressed as a woman.
he stole my parking place.
I was getting ready to back in, then he whooshed in with his sports car, then he called me names and.
I just lost it.
you weirdo.
you pervert.
Oh, you know what else you can do? You can kiss my ass.
That's what you can do.
Take a look at this here.
Oh! Oh, his image, Mr.
Minister.
Kiss it! His image! Take a good kiss of that, Mr.
Minister! Okay, several issues.
First, you're terrorizing clergy.
That's something we frown on.
Second, you likened your buttocks to god's image.
very politically incorrect even in a blue state.
And you managed to do so on the world wide web as an employee of crane, poole & schmidt, which means that your exposed ass t only speaks to the almighty's image, but ours.
take that right there.
Take a look at this here.
Oh, his image, Mr.
Minister.
I wasn't watching anything.
I expected better from you.
Me? Your conduct leaves a little to be desired.
Hello.
Leigh, hello.
Leigh, hello.
I was just in the neighborod.
I thought, what the hey? What a surprise.
Hey.
Hello.
this is clarence.
You remember leigh.
Hello.
All set for tonight? Tonight.
Well, uh, something's come up, actually.
It looks like I have to work late tonight.
Oh, okay.
- Tomorrow night? - Yes.
well, this case could be consuming, this one that just came up.
Maybe we should postpone till the weend.
Oh, okay.
Good-bye.
What came up? Nothing's come up.
Did I ask you? You're just afraid you'll have to kiss her.
Don't be such a buttinskyhead.
You hurt her feelings.
I said I didn't ask you, you.
poop! all rise.
This court is now in session.
The honorable judge gloria weldon presiding.
Be seated.
Good morning, your honor.
Whitney rome along with katie lloyd of crane, poole & schmidt for the defense.
Your motion is denied.
I haven't even told you what it is yet.
You seek to suppress the M.
R.
I.
Scan.
Mr.
Bass' previous counsel already brought such a motion to suppress.
The issue was ruled on.
Your honor, come on.
A brain scan to read his thoughts? Assuming these things are even accurate.
no.
It reads chemical responses, not thoughts.
And we already make suspects give blood, D.
N.
A.
, Handwriting analysis.
those are objective tests.
So is the brain scan.
I'm allowing it.
What else? - We also have a motion for a continuance in.
- denied.
Wait, we just got this.
Too late.
Denied.
We start today.
your honor.
maybe in the interest of justice, we should put our conflicts on the table.
Meaning? Meaning there may be some bad blood between you and my firm, and it.
Mr.
Palmer, I once had a relationship with a lawyer at crane, poole & schmidt.
- Do you object? - Not at all.
Well, my client objects.
tell your client the affair wasn't very memorable.
And if I had to rese myself from every case where I'd slept with one of the lawyers, or both, I'd have to take up golf.
I'll give you one hour to get yourself ready, then I'm bringing in the jury.
Okay.
listen to me, denny, answer only what you're asked, do not throw in little, uh, comments or asides, and above all, do not, do not, do not offer your opinions.
Will you relax, man? It's me you're talking to.
dear god.
- Alan.
- Lorraine.
I was just leaving.
lorraine.
I was just, uh, thinking about you earlier.
Really? Tell me.
Well.
you know how, uh, both of us seem to be so relationship averse? I was thinking.
maybe you are, uh, right for a longer-term.
thing.
Funny.
Who told you? Told me? That I'm a relationship.
I was planning to tell you.
You're in a relationship.
Yeah, a really wonderful man.
I think you'd like him.
Oh, I'm s.
not sure.
Anyway, I-I-I thought you'd be relieved.
We've decided to make it exclusive.
So you won't have to worry about me stalking you anymore.
terrific.
, We had just came out the deli.
And B.
J.
Went back in because he forgot his soda on the counter.
I kept walking to the car.
B.
J.
Is your brother.
Yes.
Then as I got to the car, this cop car comes screeching up, and two cops jump out, screaming.
And they had their guns pointed at B.
J.
Then what? They just shot him.
He shot him.
He just kept shooting and shooting.
It was like he unloaded the whole gun.
I'm very sorry for your loss, terrence.
When the police arrived and leapt from the car, what did you do, if I may ask? I just hit the ground.
And did you actually see your brother get shot, or did you first hear the shots and then look up? Both.
I first heard the shots, and then I looked up and saw him getting shot.
Thank you.
once again, tightly constructed answers.
There's no room for opinions, especially yours.
What's wrong? Nothing's wrong.
You're being surly.
I can hear it.
- I am not surly.
- Yes, you are.
- Whatever it is, I.
- nothing's wrong! That hurt my feelings.
she's involved.
Who? Lorraine.
She has a boyfriend.
I never liked her.
did she say who? No, and I don't care.
jerry.
Leigh.
Hello.
Welcome.
I'm very unsettled.
If you don't want to date me anymore, please just be honest with me.
I'm 44 years old, I've heard every excuse there is.
The last one said he got summoned for astronaut duty and had to rush off for the moon.
I'm sick of dishonest, disingenuous men.
And people wonder how I could end up with a utility box.
You dishonest man! hey, lady, I tried to let you down nicely, and you punish me for it.
What, I should have opted for cruelty? What do yowant from me? They even fight weird.
Come on, denny.
Let's go.
We were responding to a call that a man matching the description of the suspect was seen going into the deli.
When we arrived, we saw Mr.
Owens and his brother emerging.
We identified ourselves as police officers, drew our weapons and asked them to get on the ground.
Then what? Well, I looked at terrence, the younger brother, over by the car.
Then I heard the shots.
I looked back to see my partner firing at B.
J.
- And yet, you didn't shoot.
- No.
In fact, you said to the, uh, field investigation division that you thought the shoot was reckless.
I thought it was a quick shoot.
I never said it was racially motivated.
Officer payne, how long have you and the defendant been partners? Three years.
- He's your friend.
- Yes.
Ever have reason to think that he's a racist? - No.
Really? You never complained about him? When we were first deployed together, I didn't know him.
He made a few comments that upset me.
Like he "only believed in busing for away games"? his sense of humor is sometimes misplaced.
But he's not a racist.
B.
J.
.
The brother who was mistaken for the suspect.
did he in fact look like that suspect? We only had a general description, but yes, he did match it.
And that suspect was reported as being armed and dangerous.
Yes.
Thank you.
F - first of all, I apologize for embarrassing the law firm.
It's not like me to lose my temper like that, and.
I am very sorry.
uh, second, uh.
I sued them.
- Sued who? - Youtube.
It was wrong for them to humiliate me like that.
I'll represent myself but.
you don't really have a case.
What they did was wrong.
I can't let it go.
I.
clarence, certainly you've heard the saying, any man who represents himself has a drag queen for a client.
Wait, no.
That's not the saying.
Clarence! let me represent you.
I agree, what they did was wrong.
I'll help you.
You don't have to do that.
I want to, and, son, I'm very good.
all rise.
This court is now in session.
The honorable judge brown presiding.
Be seated.
All right.
Before we begin, some of you may or may not have noticed that I'm wearing protective heaear.
I sustained a small wound while gardening.
My doctor advised that I take conservative precautions until the stitches are removed.
Please pay it no attention.
your honor, I think we can make this quick.
Mr.
Bell is alleging defamation of character.
The footage depicts what actually happened, and truth is a complete defense to defamation.
This is silly.
We're also suing under right to publicity.
The plaintiff is not a celebrity.
We get no value trading his name.
You get value trading on footage depicting him.
I direct you to massachusetts law, chapter 214, section 3a.
I'm sorry.
I'm finding it very difficult to get past the helmet.
I am a superior court jurist, and I expect to be treated with the respect that goes with this robe.
I do not sit up here for your amusement.
Even so.
judge, the v-video was aired without a context, so it does not represent the truth.
I'd like to hear exactly how he's been defamed.
You can read how in the complaint.
It is a fair request.
Mr.
Bell.
you will take the stand after lunch.
The helmet threw me.
And you just thought you had the right to fire her 'cause she was fat? And still is.
I thought I had the right to fire people who jeopardize my health.
How does her weight jeopardize your health? According to studies at harvard.
you've heard of harvard? Obesity can spread like a contagious disease.
That's not my opinion.
That's harvard'S.
But I wasn't too fat for you to hit on? Oh, no.
'Cause I like chubby sex.
But I never asked you to dinner.
Did you hear that? I only heard ca-ching, ca-ching.
- I have nothing against the chinese.
- Denny.
so are you firing all thheavy people crane, poole & schmidt? Well, I had to start someplace.
I started with her.
Ca-ching.
And let's just suppose, say, my client did agree to have sex with you.
too late.
I've moved on.
Would you have fired her had she not rejected you? I fired her because according to the harvard studies, the social influence of fat people can be just as damaging as genetics.
I tried to explain that to your client, but her ears were too stuffed with twinkies.
on their way in or out, I-I couldn't be sure.
Ca-ching.
What? It's called functional magnetic resonance imaging.
What does it do? Well, in basic terms, it's a tool that allows us to visualize brain function by showing changes in blood flow and other metabolic processes.
You can tell what someone is thinking? We can tell how someone is feeling, and we can specifically identify responses associated with sociopathic tendencies.
Here, we determined the defendant was racist.
You can really measure this with accuracy? Extreme accuracy.
In this case, we showed Mr.
Bass pictures of people from various races, and then we measured the response in the part of his brain that controls fear.
It's called the amygdala.
And what did it reveal? Officer bass perceives blacmen as threatening.
Possible he would be more trigger-happy with a black man? Absolutely.
How long have these tests been used to read people's minds? They read responses, not minds, but the answer is a long time.
And here, they told you jeffrey bass fears black men more than white.
Unquestionably.
Are you familiar with shooter bias tests, professor? They're video games with white characters and black characters, and the characters reach for either guns or cell phones, and you're supposed to only shoot the ones with guns.
And do these tests reveal that white officers more readily fire on blacks than black police officers? No.
Shooter bias tests have generally concluded that, in this country, everyone shoots black people faster.
focus on the images.
This should only take about a minute.
Okay.
why are we doing this? if our scan gets different results, then we can impeach the validity of theirs.
- and he's seeing what we're seeing? - yes.
I don't ink our scan is getting different results.
You can kiss my ass.
That's what you can do.
Well, you're a weirdo.
Take a look at this here.
Oh, his image, Mr.
Minister.
Kiss that right there! His image! Take a good kiss of that, Mr.
Minister! Outrageous.
Mr.
Bell, the footage fairly and accurately depicts what happened, doesn't it? Yes, but it doesn't tell the whole story.
- Have you gone out in public dressed as a woman before? - Yes.
- In fact, you once joined an all-girls gym, isn't that correct? -Yes.
You recently signed up for a singing contest in drag.
You've gone to work in drag.
But that moment, without a context, makes me look like.
you're a lawyer.
I am.
- Are you familiar with section 230 of the communications decency act? - Yes, but.
which expressly protects online services from defamation liability arising from material posted on their sites by individuals? your honor, this was an extremely embarrassing event, aired worldwide on a web site, absent the context that occasioned it.
The.
the footage depicts what happened.
So where's the damage? Your honor, think of it.
we've all had a meltdown or two, a-a mortifying episode of some sort.
Typically we're allowed to live those moments down.
But now thanks to the internet, we can'T.
Suppose I taped you as justice bubblehead.
put that thing down.
- How would you like to be defined.
- put it down this instant! My point is, life's little embarrassing moments are now having far-reaching and more devastating consequences.
If the day has come that we are going to be publicly and globally shamed by our foolish missteps, then the laws of defamation should keep pace.
Certainly when these tort laws were drafted, the legislators never contemplated.
youtube.
I repeated my command to freeze.
This time he did, but then he started to raise his hand, and in it was a metal object.
I thought it was a gun, and I just reacted.
You know now he was probably raising his hands in surrender.
Yes.
But at the timE.
I ought it was a gun.
Do you work in a pretty tough neighborhood, Mr.
Bass? Yes, it's a gang neighborhood.
And have you ever been shot at before? Three times.
Have you ever shot anybody, besides B.
J.
Owens? Twic hmm.
What color were they? I patrol a predominately black area.
So the two you previously shot were black? Yes.
And according to internal affairs' reports, one of the suspects was also unarmed.
I was cleared of any wrongdoing.
It was an innocent mistake.
Another mistake? Well, have you ever mistakenly shot a white person? - Objection.
- SustaineD.
According to the F.
M.
R.
I.
, You feel more threatened by black people.
Why do you think that is? Look, if that test is accurate, it could be because statistically, blacks commit more violent crimes.
it could be because I been shot at three times by black suspects.
Or maybe you just dislike black people.
No, I do not.
I'm not a racist.
But you shot him eight times.
- Mrs.
Owens.
- you just shot him till he was dead.
- You kept shooting and shooting and shooting! - Mrs.
Owens, I will have you.
- you murdered my baby! - mom, calm down.
- You murderer! - mrs.
Owens, any more such outbursts, and you will be removed from this courtroom.
just let me do all the talking, denny, every word.
Do not even move your lips without checking with me first.
all rise.
You can't be serious.
Judas priest, she's the size of an elephant.
be seated.
okay, I'll hear from the petitioner.
No, before we get to that, your honor, uh, alan shore representing denny crane.
I- I have a- a motion.
Let's hear it.
uh, your honor, uh, perhaps you are not the right jurist to be objective on this one.
What do you mean? his tongue is tied for two reasons, judge.
First, it's puffy.
And second, it's a challenge for him to spin this.
Denny crane fired nancy wilding because she was fat.
It is bigotry in its purest, most evil form.
Fat people in this country are subject to prejudice, emotional abuse and ridicule.
It starts on the playground, and it never stops.
This woman didn't get asked to her high school prom.
Waiters and waitresses ignore her.
She's been denied housing, insurance.
Airlines want to charge her double.
But nancy wilding didn't sit in a corner and feel sorry for herself.
She said, "hey, I'm gonna use my brain.
I'm gonna study.
I'm gonna go to law school.
" And she did.
And she graduated near the top of her class, she passed the bar, she performed ably and successfully as a wyer, and where did it all get her? Fired for being fat.
Somebody somewhere has finally got to say enough.
Nancy wilding is hoping that person is you.
I'll take it under advisement.
Uh, wait, wait.
You didn't hear from me.
I'll take it under advisement.
I'll hear you before I read my ruling.
Judge, I don't think that's how it's supposed to work.
Whatever.
- this is not going well, alan.
- You think? She won't even hear our side.
Hopefully she will before.
excuse me, denny.
- Jerry? - Alan.
What are you doing? I'm standing with my head up against a wall.
Yes.
Why? I had a little row with leigh.
I saw that.
Much of the office did.
I think I was mean to her.
Was I mean to her? Well, from my vantage point, you were very mean.
She was feeling hurt, extremely vulnerable.
She lashed out in pain, at which point you whipped out the wooden cigarette and thrashed her with it.
I just felt everyone staring at us and.
have you called her to apologize? Tried, but.
she's dating my clock radio, just to get back at me.
Uh, I beg your pardon.
She has a crush on my clock radio.
I let her borrow it after the utility box was killed, and when I called to apologize, the two of them were headed out to a movie.
I'm not quite sure how to respond to that, other than to say, you've had two wonderful dates with this woman.
Uh, you're at the precipice of kissing.
And it just seems.
wrong for her now to be dating your clock radio.
Policemen do tough work, dangerous work in cities across this country that seem to only grow more and more dangerous.
That is a reality.
But here is another reality.
african-americans have been targeted disproportionately in both arrests and excessive force.
Blacks comprise 13% of our population, yet 44% of our prison population.
And how many times do you have to turn on the news and see that yet another innocent, unarmed black man has been shot dead by the police before we say enough? Eight times, he shot him.
Even his partner, who is also his friend, called the shooting "reckless.
" Was it an honest mistake? Yeah, sure, like the last time he mistakenly shot an unarmed black man.
How many mistakes.
can we allow him? Do we keep tolerating these executions or not? The victim matched the description of the armed suspect.
He raised his hand with something metallic in it.
It looked like a gun.
My client reacted.
The district attorney did not offer even one witness to dispute that.
Instead, he gave you a brain scan.
The police can now take our blood, our hair, our D.
N.
A.
They can make us give handwriting samples, voice patterns.
They can cck our computers to see what interests us, our gpses to see where we've been.
And today, they're introducing scans to show our feelings.
Where does it stop? And let's assume these M.
R.
I.
S really can show that my client feared black people more than whites.
So what? The law has to distinguish between thought and deed.
The supreme court is doing away with warrants.
Our administration eavesdrops on all of us.
Are we really going to allow this government to unleash the thought police? Are we that scared? We must be.
Because today, the prosecution is trying to convict a man of murder with nothing more than an M.
R.
I.
God help us.
it can't even keep proper time.
You even have a dishonest clock.
hey, I'd really love to chat, but I'm running late for the moon.
I'm sorry, leigh.
I didn't mean what I said before.
I'd love to keep seeing you.
Just not in this lifetime.
I'm too odd, jerry.
I get it.
You're not too odd.
It's.
the reason.
it's just, our two dates went so well, I.
was afraid of the third date.
Why? Because I was worried I'd be expected.
to kiss you.
Which I'd like to do, but it's all so terrifying, your being a real person and all.
There.
Can we move on? it went by so fast.
jerry, I'm just as scared.
Forget about kissing.
Have y thought about how hard it will be for the two of us to hug? All right.
All right.
First off, I will have no comment about my modified headgear.
Truth is always a complete defense against defamation.
Well, that's the law.
But I am minul that 30-second video blogs.
without the proper context.
do not always capture the truth.
I'm also mindful that we live in a video world now, where every tom, dick and harry with a cell phone is a de facto cameraman and via the internet, a-a distributor.
Maybe the current tort laws do need adjusting.
But right now, as they are written, they offer no remedy to those who may be humiliated by this.
The case is therefore dismissed.
As a footnote, if anybody in this room did take footage, moving or still, of me in my headgear, you are hereby enjoined from posting it anywhere.
We are adjourned.
I'm okay.
sorry, clarence.
We tried.
Yes, thank you.
I think the best advice for all of us to remember is if you're out in public, assume the cameras are watching.
Okay, then, I'm told we have a unanimous verdict.
The defense will please rise.
Madam foreperson, what say you? "in the matter "of the commonwealth vs.
Jeffrey bass "on the charge of murder in the second degree, we find the defendant jeffrey bass not guilty.
" no.
ladies and gentlemen of the jury, thank you for your service.
You're dismissed.
We're adjourned.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Get a job without a gun, Mr.
Bass.
All right, I've made my ruling.
What? No.
You said you'd hear from me.
Yeah, I could predict what you'd say.
Well, I'd like to say it just the same, your honor.
Whatever.
your honor, uh, what denny crane did and said here was offensive.
It was cruel.
I'd go so far as to say indecent.
But every plaintiff has a duty to mitigate damages, and this woman was offered her job back within an hour.
That couldn't make her whole from the pain.
May I finish? - I hereby rule that.
- no! Your honor, I agree w-with m-many of the things ms.
Path said.
Fat people are discriminated against, unfairly and pervasively.
It is unforgivable to judge somebody on physical appearance alone, especially in the workplace.
But what my client did here was not altogether wrong.
In fact, more employers should draw a harder line on obesity.
Oh, really? Yes, because it doesn't just go to looks.
- This goes to a serious health issue.
- a serious health issue.
And frankly, it's inexcusable.
It's one of the leading causes of death in this country.
The health care costs run about $117 billion a year.
And we just keep eating and eating and eating.
Look at me.
Look at.
denny.
The fast food companies keep proliferating.
Portion sizes keep getting bigger and bigger.
candy bars and soft drinks.
and we keep getting fatter and fatter and fatter as if it's not killing us, and it is.
And given this new study at harvard, maybe what denny did, uh, wasn't altogether out of line.
Simply having fat friends can triple your risk of becing obese.
If this is true, judge, if obesity is contagious through social networking, then maybe all employers have a duty to their employees to weed out the heifers.
And maybe it's about time, uh, to put aside our inflated sense of political correctness and practice a little tough love with our friends and family.
Say to a loved one, "you're fat.
" Tell a friend, "you look like a hippo on the verge of a heart attack.
" Shock em into going on diets, not just to save themselves, but possibly their friends and coworkers.
That's all denny crane was trying to say.
And perhaps he should be applauded for it.
You done? Yes, your honor, it appears I'm quite done.
case dismissed.
adjourned.
we won? we won.
I still can't believe she ruled in our favor.
Because you judged her by her appearance, that's why.
So did you.
maybe a little.
You know, denny, since I've been your friend, I've gotten heavier.
You're blaming me? Well, that study.
since I've met you, I've gotten bigger.
You're the feed bag.
Me? You're the influence.
Oh, come on.
I don't believe that study anyway.
You don't? Think about it.
Of course fat people have fat friends.
Thin people don't want to hang around with them.
They're too fat.
What? You doing okay? I don't know what you're talking about.
Of course you do.
Here's my philosophy on women, alan.
Oh, god.
It's better to want something you don't have than have something you don't want.
Now when it comes to you and lorraine.
I can't have her.
Exactly.
Please don't reduce sleepover tonight? No popcorn.
Oh, come on.
See? Bad influence.
Well, how can you watch a movie without popcorn? Did you not listen to my closing, denny? I never listen.
- Was it good? - It was good.
- So stop sulkG.
- I'm not sulking.
Well.
don't even come over if you're gonna be like that.
Maybe I won't then.
- Fine.
- Fine.
No red vines.