Castlevania (2017) s04e07 Episode Script

1
The trick worked.
The stupid little trinkets
you found on that human body?
I think they steal things
from their own court,
carrying them as talismans
or some primitive shit.
The underground court
we've never been able to find.
I always wondered if they were
confusing our senses
with holy water.
And then some idiot shows up
with a divining set
around his neck,
probably thinking it would
make him resistant to swords.
There.
That's their underground court.
She took the tracking stone
right there.
My plan was magnificent.
It wasn't your plan.
It was my plan.
You just agreed to it.
Well, I gave my assent,
therefore it became my plan.
Be happy I even remember
you're here.
What did you just say to me?
You heard me.
Dracula sent me here.
I was to make Targoviste
a gift to him.
Now I will return him to earth
and present it to him.
You're just my little helper.
Fuck you to hell, Varney.
I am entirely fucking finished
with propping up
your delusional bullshit
just to get things done.
What?
I am a soldier.
I still do not know what
the fuck you are supposed to be.
I'm Varney of London,
you insolent Slavic pissflap.
You're a joke!
You're a shallow criminal
who somehow wormed your way
into Dracula's circle
a hundred years ago.
And then he sent you all the way
out here,
to the city he'd already burned.
How useful did he really think
you are?
That's
That's not what happened.
Shut up.
Oh, Ratko, my boy,
you're a criminal too.
- I know you.
- You don't fucking know me.
I know you.
I smell the death on you.
You've committed crimes.
I've practiced war.
War is armies meeting each other
on the field of combat.
- That's not what you do.
- Right.
I'm a clever soldier.
I'm a committed soldier.
I don't go to pageants.
I don't play games.
Are you justifying yourself?
Eat shit. I fight wars.
You have no idea, do you?
War is when you kill so many
of the other side
that they can't fight you
anymore.
Prancing around on a meadow
isn't war.
Stealing into a tent
and cutting every throat
in sight is war.
Poisoning wells is war.
Killing every baby in a town
and disappearing, that's war.
War is for winning.
And tracking that lunatic down
into her secret rooms
and surprising them to death,
that's what I do.
That's what I did.
And you, standing there
flapping and posing.
You're everything I hate.
You vampires who think
it's all about wit.
I use the word loosely,
because you are a shithead
for the ages.
Being charming,
using clever words,
desperate for people
to admire you
because you're special.
Too much of the damaged,
needy human on you.
You're not a vampire.
I'm a fucking vampire.
I lie and I cheat,
because lying to pigs
is meaningless,
and I'm hungry.
I take everything anybody has,
every last fucking drop,
and then I hunt for more.
I am not a criminal.
I am fucking perfect.
Oh, dear, young man.
- Perfect?
- Perfect.
I was given to the Earth
to feed off everything on it
as I choose.
Well, let me tell you, Ratko,
you do not know what I am.
But I tolerate you precisely
because you're good at death.
It nourishes me.
Whatever.
You made me angry.
I don't like to be angry.
Whyever not?
Anger makes you kill, surely.
I bet you even kill
in your dreams.
In my dreams, I am calm.
I am nothing but motion,
and fear, and hunger,
and all the people in the world
are lined up like animals
in pens
for me to bite the blood from.
People forget what we are.
Where do you think you're going?
Well, you seem to have taken
over the effort aboveground.
And I have other things
to attend to.
Yeah. One thing in particular.
Look, we're done screwing
around.
You are going to show us
your fabled underground court.
And then we are going to get
this place in proper order,
defend the people
and clean out the city.
Are we clear?
I think it's time for you
to go to the Underground Court.
Yeah, isn't that what I just
said?
Oh, I don't know.
I stopped listening
a second or two
after you started mewling
about what you want.
Then I decided it was time
for you to follow me.
Know your place.
Let's take a look
at this place first, hm?
Hm. Mm-hm.
Masterly, masterly.
What an awful bloody daub.
Nobody's going to miss that.
I have the location,
and I am preparing the way.
It is the time for accuracy,
excellence,
and whatever passes for courage
in you people.
Hm.
Boo.
That was nice of you.
I didn't realize
anyone was watching.
I was looking for you.
Imagine my surprise when you
dropped out of the sky
and frightened a year's growth
out of the little bastards.
Sorry.
No, really.
It was nice of you.
They don't all have an adult
who'll pay any attention
at all to them.
Let alone plummet down on them
like death from above,
I suppose.
You gave them a story
they'll be telling forever.
I heard them laughing.
Hm.
It's been a while
since children laughed here.
You were looking for me?
I wanted to talk to you
about defenses.
And I wanted to ask
about your food supplies.
I'm not sure there's much.
Well, that's the thing.
I was hoping we could use
some of the dried meat you have
to make meals go a little further?
Use it all.
Seriously?
Whatever you can find.
I tended to forage fresh food
in the mornings,
but I'm sure I have
some preserved things
in the pantries.
You don't actually know what
you've got in your castle, do you?
Not really.
It looks like you were feeding
an army in there
up until a couple of months ago.
Well
that wasn't me.
But I take your point.
I've been preoccupied.
Beyond clearing up
some of the damage from
Let's talk about something else.
Defenses.
I mean, I hope just closing
your castle doors
will keep people away, but
We're going to start
losing the light soon.
Let me show you
where the weapons are kept
and then we'll look
at the outside.
We remember Radu the Black.
Oh, my God.
Wait here.
Bloody hell.
I know.
This is horrible.
Yeah, but that's not
what I meant.
Huh?
Can't be.
You found a new toy?
I don't know.
Not a toy.
What on earth is it?
Well, the story goes that a mad
Norwegian vampire hunter
went to India,
and he convinced the weapons
master of the Raja-Putra clans
to make him this thing.
There's only one.
I saw drawings of it
in my mother's books.
The real question is
how it ended up here.
See? Sign of the cross.
Mm-hm.
Did the vampire hunter
die in India?
Because Hindu vampires
wouldn't have the faintest idea
why he was waving a cross
at them.
Actually, no.
Vampires are basically
an evolved predator species,
so their eyesight
is pretty different to ours.
Turns out that if you put
a big geometric shape
right up close in their
field of vision,
it confuses the shit out
of their brains
and, you know, makes them panic.
Huh. How do you even know that?
Yeah, I learned
all kinds of things
when I was going to be a heroic
monster hunter, remember?
And then all the shit happened,
and bit by bit I suppose
I lost it all.
And now I'm starting
to pick it all up again.
The question is,
if you're keeping
stuff like this down here,
then why aren't you using it
up there?
Because your betters wish it so.
Then it's time I meet them.
Are they through there?
Oh, I didn't say
you could meet them.
They're resting.
Yeah, well, time to stop
sleeping through all this.
Look into my eyes.
Do you really,
really want to make my life
any more annoying right now, hm?
Wakey wakey,
you shower of assholes.
You cannot speak to them like that.
Well, I see why
they're so remarkably
unconcerned about everything.
Keep your voice down.
Why?
They're not going to wake up.
The others here don't understand
about the royal sleep.
Oh.
Yeah.
Zamfir, these two need
to be laid to rest.
This is just wrong.
Do you have a priest?
No priests.
Zamfir, listen to me.
This is over.
It will never be over.
The apocalypse
will never claim us.
The catastrophe of Targoviste
will never happen again.
We killed all the priests,
you see.
Really.
We are taking back control
of our country.
Targoviste isn't a country.
It's the beating heart
of the country.
Not even a city.
It's the greatest city
in the world.
We are its stewards.
- We're taking back control.
- Control? Yes.
Letting your people starve
and swim around
in their own shit.
Not helping them organize.
Not helping them
defend themselves.
I haven't been wiping
their asses either.
Should I nip back up there
with some rags?
You could try giving them the aid
to live their damn lives.
Look!
We've taken so many people in
down here.
Yes, you've made
an interesting collection
of people who are clearly
dying of neglect.
We neglect no one
in the Underground Court.
These people have cracked lips,
and you have flowing water
back there.
We need that. For defense.
Holy water.
Where did you get it
if you killed all the priests?
We recovered it from intact
religious buildings.
Do you know some of them used
to cask and bottle
holy water to sell?
You could have used it to give
people something to drink.
The court must be defended.
What if we'd let people
drink it all,
and then vampires
crossed empty channels
to enter the court
and kill everybody?
Sure. You couldn't risk
letting vampires in.
They might have tidied up.
Oh, that doesn't even work.
And you're defending
two dead bodies.
They will wake.
Their majesties will awaken
from their royal sleep
and save us all.
You're insane.
Of course I'm insane.
The fuck what now?
I went insane the day Dracula
hit the city.
I saw his face in the sky.
It was like the devil himself
punched the world.
How could you not
lose your mind,
seeing hell touch your home?
I sleep for two hours a night
and wake up screaming
ever since it happened.
So you're not so crazy that you
don't know you're crazy?
They will wake.
They are magicians.
They are royal blood.
They journey
in the subtle realms
to recover their strength,
and I have to defend them
until then.
I get it now.
You have been suffering for so long.
Were you the last person
of noble birth left alive
when Dracula struck?
I am not suffering.
This is the great work.
This is my glorious duty.
I will save everyone
by saving them.
Huh.
Well, no wonder they broke it
into pieces.
Did you drag them out
of the ruins of their palace?
It was my job. I saved them.
They will wake.
They will save us all.
And everything will be set right.
Everything will be as it was.
They are magicians, Sypha.
Are they?
The priest class
always suspected it.
They harried the royal family.
Can you believe it? But look.
Look at all the things
we recovered from their palace.
Behold their mystical treasures.
I saved them.
So they will save me.
Are you done farting around
over there?
I don't know who taught you
all these words, but yeah.
Okay. Good.
I am truly sorry for everything
that has happened to you.
But all this has to stop now.
W-What?
We need to get
these people help.
We need to arm the healthy ones
with the weapons you have
down here.
We need to abandon this space,
organize and
Abandon?
Abandon the royal family?
This is a mess.
You did the best you could,
but your rulers are dead
and the people need you.
No. I saved them.
Fre d e ra to r!