Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999) s04e07 Episode Script

1
BL-BL-BL-BL-YEAH.
[WHISTLING]
LIFELIKE, AIN'T IT?
YOU, TOO, CAN HAVE
YOUR OWN WAX DUMMY
FROM ED'S SPITTIN' IMAGE OF WAX!
NEED A SCAPEGOAT FOR
MOM AND DAD TO YELL AT?
WHY NOT BLAME THE DUMMY?
ONLY 25 CENTS.
YOU MEAN LIVE LIFE GUILT FREE?
GIVE IT TO ME, EDDY!
WE GOT US A LIVE ONE!
BE GENTLE.
Edd: THE PROCEDURE IS
REALLY QUITE SIMPLE, JIMMY.
STEP ONE WE POUR OATMEAL,
MOTHER NATURE'S
OWN CASTING AGENT.
[GIGGLING]
STEP TWO VIGOROUS
DISTRIBUTION.
THIS WILL ACTIVATE THE OATMEAL'S
INHERENT PROPERTIES
OF COAGULATION.
STEP 3 WE LET IT SET.
[TICKING]
[BELL RINGS]
STEP 4 WE GENTLY EXTRACT YOU
FROM THE NOW-HARDENED MOLD.
LOOK OUT FOR YOUR SHOES!
AAH!
Edd: UH, YES. UM, STEP 5
WE INSERT SOLID BLACK
CYLINDERS INTO THE MOLD
AND METICULOUSLY MEL
EACH ONE INTO ITS CABIN,
THUS COATING EVERY
DELICATE NOOK AND CRANNY.
GET ON WITH IT.
ROME WASN'T BUIL
IN A DAY, KEVIN.
Jonny: WOW! LOOK AT THAT! WHOA!
WHICH ONE'S A DUMMY? HUH? HUH?
BET YOU CAN'T TELL.
ONLY AT ED'S
SPITTIN' IMAGE OF WAX.
WHO'S NEXT?
JIMMY LOOKS LIKE
HE'S GONNA THROW UP!
TURN ME AND PLANK
INTO CANDLES, EDDY!
THIS I GOT TO SEE.
COME, KEVIN. THE
PLACING OF THE WIG
MUST NOT BE MISSED!
THIS IS SO STALE, I SWEAR.
HUH?
CHOICE! A WALLET!
Eddy: ANY CASH?
IT'S EMPTY LIKE YOUR HEAD.
WHAT IDIOT WOULD CARRY A
WALLET WITH NO CASH IN IT?
NO WAY. HEY, EDDY!
CHECK OUT THE IDIOT!
HEY, THAT'S MINE.
AIN'T IT WEIRD HOW WALLETS
CAN TELL A LOT ABOU
A DORK, HUH, SKIPPER?
WHAT'D YOU CALL ME?!
[CHATTERING]
YOUR MIDDLE NAME,
RIGHT, SKIPPER?
GEE, I'M SORRY TO HEAR
YOU'RE LEAVING TOWN, PAL.
I'll SURE MISS YOU.
DON'T COME BACK TOO
SOON NOW. HEH HEH HEH.
YOU AIN'T GONNA TELL, ARE YOU?
DON'T! I'M GROVELING!
I'll DO ANYTHING
YOU WANT. I SWEAR!
JUST DON'T TELL ANYONE!
ANYTHING I WANT, HUH?
BUY ME A SODA 'CAUSE I'M BROKE.
IN YOUR DREAMS!
YOUR CHOICE, SKIPPER.
HEY, ROLF!
HUH? HELLO! NO RAIN TODAY, YES?
HALF-BAKED ED BOY, IS IT DONE?
OK. YOU WIN.
I'M WAITING.
AM I AN ARTISTE OR WHAT?
[LAUGHTER]
WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO?
ED, GIVE JONNY HIS EYES BACK.
RIGHTO, JIM BOB!
OK, YOU'RE HOT. HOTTER!
YEP! THAT'S THEM, JONNY!
[LAUGHTER]
WEIRD, HUH, PLANK?
EVERYBODY GO AWAY!
BUT, EDDY, MY WAX FIGURINE!
AAH!
WE'RE CLOSED!
AAH!
HOME SWEET HOME, HUH, GUYS?
LET'S, UH PLAY
SOME X AND O's.
OH! OH! X's AND O's?
I AM STOOKED ABOUT X's AND O's!
ED, DON'T YOU SEE?
SOMETHING'S AMISS HERE,
AND EDDY'S JUST TRYING TO
FIND YOUR HAMBURGERS YET, WIMPY?
VERY WELL, ED, I'M UP
FOR YOUR CHALLENGE.
HEY, YOU GUYS START. I
NEED TO CHECK ON SOMETHING.
AAH!
[CHATTERING]
ARE YOU PULLING MY LEG, KEVIN?
LIES! ALL LIES! DON'
LISTEN TO HIM, JIMMY.
HE'S MAKING IT ALL UP!
I WAS JUST TELLING
THEM HOW MUCH YOU LOVE
JIMMY'S FASHION SENSE, DORKY.
I DO?
BUT IF THAT'S A LIE,
MAYBE I SHOULD
TELL THEM THE TRUTH.
WHAT TRUTH?
OH, THAT! OH, YEAH.
KEVIN'S RIGHT, JIMMY.
HOW ABOUT SHARING
YOUR SECRETS, BLACKWELL?
HEH HEH HEH HEH.
I WIN AGAIN, DOUBLE D.
WE ARE PLAYING X's
AND O's, AREN'T WE, ED?
Eddy: OK. WHAT'S UP?
MY GO?
UH, WHO'S NEXT? BE RIGHT BACK.
I CAN'T QUITE PU
MY FINGER ON IT, ED,
BUT SOMETHING VERY
STRANGE IS GOING ON HERE.
YEAH, THAT YOU STINK
AT THIS GAME, DOUBLE D.
[PANTING]
AAH!
[CHATTING]
[PANTING]
COME ON, KEV!
YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T TELL!
KEVIN, DON'T!
WHOA, OH, OH!
I WIN.
PREPOSTEROUS.
THIS ISN'T HOW
THE GAME'S PLAYED.
I REFUSE TO CONTINUE
UNDER THESE ABSURD
CONDITIONS, ED.
AW, KITTY CAT GO MEOW?
WOULD YOU MIND TELLING ME
WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU TODAY?
FORGIVE ME.
HA HA HA HA!
YOU'RE BAD, KEVIN. HEE HEE HEE!
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
BLEAH!
Kevin: HEY, EDDY. GET OVER HERE.
COMING, KEVIN.
ONE IS A LONELY
NUMBER, DOUBLE D.
ARK! ARK! ARK!
[HONK HONK]
ED BOY HAS BEEN TRAINED WELL.
[LAUGHTER]
CATCHY TUNE.
NOW GIVE ME A NOSE STAND.
CHOICE. WAVE TO NAZZ.
[GIGGLING]
NOW BEG FOR THE FISH.
ARK! ARK! ARK!
SO? SWALLOW IT OR ELSE.
ALL RIGHT THEN.
HEY, GUYS, WANT TO
KNOW WHAT EDDY'S
OK, OK.
OH, MAN. YOU'RE SICK.
HERE'S SOMETHING
TO WASH IT DOWN WITH.
OOPS, I MISSED. HA HA HA!
BATHROOM'S OVER THERE, PAL!
GOOD ONE, KEV.
YOU'RE A FUNNY GUY.
Edd: EXCUSE ME, EDDY.
MAY I HAVE A WORD
WITH YOU PRIVATELY?
BACK OFF. CAN'T YOU SEE
I'M TRYING TO BEND
TO ONE'S YOKE?
VERY WELL. I'll JUS
TELL YOUR FATHER.
YOU'RE TOO BUSY.
REMEMBER, KEV, LOOSE
LIPS SINK SHIPS, OK?
WHAT DOES MY DAD WANT?
ANYBODY GOT AN ITCH TO SCRATCH?
ED.
NOT NOW, THANK YOU.
I MADE UP THE FATHER EXCUSE
TO LURE YOU AWAY, EDDY.
WHAT IN SAM HILL
HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU?
LOOK AT YOURSELF!
KEVIN'S MAKING A FOOL OF
YOU IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!
YEAH. IT'S USUALLY ME.
I CAN'T TELL YOU.
NOBODY CAN FIND OUT.
Kevin: HEY, EDDY.
COME HERE, WILL YOU?
GOT TO GO.
A FINE EXAMPLE OF
WHO-KNOWS-WHAT, HE IS.
[LAUGHTER]
WHAT'S UP, PAL?
Sarah: HEY, EDDY.
HOW ABOUT A LITTLE
SKIP ROPE, FRIEND?
UH, NOPE. NOT ME.
Jonny: PLANK WANTS TO KNOW
IF YOU'LL SKIPPER OUR BOAT.
HA HA HA!
Rolf: LOOK HERE, ED BOY.
HE WHO COMMANDS THE BOA
MUST BRAVE MANY KNOTS, YES?
HA HA HA!
DUDE, THAT WASN'
EVEN REMOTELY FUNNY.
WHAT SOUNDS LIKE DIPPER
RHYMES WITH FLIPPER
IS CLOSE TO ZIPPER
SHUT UP, SARAH!
IT'S NOT A SLIPPER ♪
WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
IT'S SKIPPER.
SAY WHAT? All: ♪
SKIPPER, SKIPPER
GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!
SEE YOU, SKIPPER.
SKIPPER. WHAT'S WITH THAT?
KEVIN, YOU JERK! YOU WEREN'
SUPPOSED TO TELL ANYONE!
OOPS, I FORGOT.
SORRY, SKIPPER. HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA HA [GRUMBLING]
I'M HERE FOR YOU, EDDY.
A PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS?
Ed: SKIPPER'S EMBARRASSED BECAUSE
EVERYBODY NOW KNOWS EDDY'S MIDDLE NAME.
[CHUCKLING]
SKIPPER?
AH, WHO CARES?
MY LIFE'S WRECKED.
SKIPPER'S A VERY, UM,
EXCEPTIONAL MIDDLE NAME.
BE PROUD OF IT BECAUSE
IT WILL BE WITH YOU
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
NOW, HOW ABOUT A SMILE?
EDDY, IF IT MAKES
YOU FEEL ANY BETTER,
I'll TELL YOU MY MIDDLE NAME.
OK.
WELL, EDDY, MY
MIDDLE NAME IS MARION.
MARION? YOU GO
TO BE KIDDING ME!
THAT'S A GIRL'S NAME! HA HA HA!
MARION! LIKE THAT MAID!
HEY, EVERYBODY! LISTEN UP!
DOUBLE D's MIDDLE NAME IS
EDDY, PLEASE DON'T!
MARION!
HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
Nazz: MY AUNT'S NAME IS MARION.
Sarah: DOUBLE D, THAT'S SO CUTE!
MARION THE HUNGARIAN?
NO! MARION THE LIBRARIAN!
[LAUGHTER]
KIDS CAN BE SO CRUEL, HUH, ED?
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT, SKIPPER!
HA HA HA!
[CREAKING]
HA HA HA HA.
ED, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M
PRACTICING FOR MANURITY?
SO THEN
YOU WON'T WANT TO
FORGET TO REMEMBER THIS
OR LOOK. IT'S EDDO.
OH, AND YOU'LL NEED
TO TAKE BACK THIS
AND THIS.
RECOLLECT THIS. OH, AND THIS!
OH, AND WHO WOULD
WANT TO FORGET ED!
WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!
GIVE ME BACK MY STUFF!
"PLACE MEMORIES HERE"?
Edd: WELL, HELLO, EDDY.
FASHIONABLY LATE AS USUAL.
LATE? LATE FOR WHAT?
OUR TIME CAPSULE,
EDDY. REMEMBER?
WE WERE TO GATHER A FEW
OF OUR POIGNANT POSSESSIONS
AND BURY THEM IN A
GO-NO-FURTHER LOCATION,
THEN RE-EXCAVATE OUR
SAID CAPSULE AS GROWNUPS
AND REMINISCE ON OUR
YESTERDAYS WITH A SMILE.
DO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS, EDDY?
THE TURKEY BASTER,
OR SHOULD I SAY,
OUR CANADIAN SQUIRT GUN.
HA HA HA! OH, YEAH!
I REMEMBER THIS THING.
FUNNY IT WAS, HUH?
AS THOUGH IT WERE
ALWAYS SECOND SEASON.
THERE WAS WATER LEFT IN THAT?
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA. VERY FUNNY.
HOW ABOUT THIS
TABLET OF MEMORIES?
Ed and Eddy: THE
HYPNOTIZING WHEEL!
CAN'T YOU JUST ASK FOR SOMETHING
LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING?
REMEMBER WHEN
WE HYPNOTIZED KEVIN
INTO THINKING HE WAS A CHIMP?
IT IS TO LAUGH,
AND HE THOUGHT MY
BUTT WAS A PEANUT.
YEOW!
HEE HEE! LOOK AT MY ANTICS.
I AM KEVIN THE PRIMATE.
OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH.
HEY, GUYS. UM WHAT'S UP?
UH, NEVER MIND.
I WONDER WHAT NAZZ WILL
REMEMBER OF US WHEN SHE'S OLDER.
THAT YOU LOOKED LIKE AN IDIO
AND HOW COULD SHE HAVE
LET A HUNK LIKE ME GET AWAY.
[CHUCKLING]
SEE? REVISITING BYGONE
DAYS CAN BE FUN, EDDY.
WHAT ELSE YOU GOT IN THERE?
Ed: REMEMBER ME?
OUCH! OH! OW! OOH!
OW! OUCH! OOH! OW!
Both: FAD FREAKY!
GOOD TIMES, HUH, SOCKHEAD?
HEY, I REMEMBER THAT!
HA HA HA! THAT'S WHEN ED HIT YOU
WITH THAT SACK OF POTATOES!
YOUR RECOLLECTION'S
A BIT FOGGY, EDDY.
THIS REMOTE CONTROL WAS
FROM OUR FAUX TIME MACHINE.
OH. TIME MACHINE?
SURELY YOU RECALL
THE TIME MACHINE.
HUH?
IT'S PROBABLY FROM THA
DUMB ROCKET CAR YOU BUILT.
TIME MACHINE. NO
THE ROCKET CAR.
TIME MACHINE. REMEMBER?
JIMMY AND JONNY
WERE AT RAPT ATTENTION
WHILE I EXPLAINED
BUT ARE YOU SURE, DOUBLE D?
MOST ASSUREDLY, JIMMY.
NEITHER I NOR SCIENCE
HAVE FOUND ANY CORRELATION
BETWEEN TIME TRAVEL
AND FRIZZY FLYAWAY HAIR.
ARE YOU DONE YAMMERING?
Edd: PREPARE TO
INCREDIBLY TRANSVERSE.
TO THE TRIASSIC
PERIOD OF YESTERYEAR!
THIS IS GONNA ROCK!
Jimmy: OW! OW!
TALLYHO! BACK IN TIME WE GO!
OW! OW!
Jonny: HANG ON, PLANK!
[PANTING]
WHEE! OOF!
HA HA HA! WHEE!
OHH! OHH! HA HA HA!
UHH! AAH! EHH!
I THINK WE'RE HERE, PLANK.
[ROARING AND HOOTING]
CHIRP, CHIRP.
LOOK OUT BELOW!
PTERODACTYL!
COME ON, JIMMY.
WE CAN'T GET HUR
BECAUSE WE WEREN'
EVEN BORN YET.
WOWSERS! LOOK, PLANK!
TRICERATOPS!
ROAR!
HA HA! RIGHT ON, EH, BUDDY?
WAA! MAKE IT STOP!
MAKE IT
WHOOPEE! 23 SKIDDOO!
ROAR!
AAH!
RAGA! RAGA! WHOO!
Jonny: WOO-HOO!
WHAT THE
NEATO! WE'VE BEEN
SWALLOWED ALIVE, BUDDY.
HUH?
WELL, HELLO, JONNY.
HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON UP THERE?
Edd: HA HA HA!
OH, AND THE FUNNY PART OF
IT WAS THE TYRANNOSAURUS
ACTUALLY LIVED IN THE
CRETACEOUS PERIOD,
NOT THE TRIASSIC PERIOD.
HA HA HA!
OH. OH, GOOD
TIMES, HUH, FELLOWS?
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Ed: YEAH, DOUBLE D.
AN ELEPHANT NEVER FORGETS,
BUT I FORGET WHAT THE
ELEPHANT REMEMBERED.
YES. WELL, YOU PROBABLY
JUST WEREN'T PAYING ATTENTION
AT THE TIME, ED,
BUT I'M SURE EDDY REMEMBERS.
IN ANOTHER LIFE, WINDBAG,
BUT I REMEMBER THIS.
MY DEAR FRIEND THE JUG.
THAT'S A PICTURE, ED,
AND IT'S QUITE FAMILIAR
TO MANY OF OUR ED-VENTURES.
[CHUCKLING]
IT'S FROM WHEN YOU HAD
THE HICCUPS, DOUBLE D.
REMEMBER?
COURSE SAYS VICTOR KICKS
ROLF IN THE HEAD AGAIN.
MY TURN.
[HICCUP]
SEEMS AN AIR BUBBLE HAS
LODGED ITSELF WITHIN MY
[HICCUP]
[HICCUP] HA HA HA!
OH, DEAR.
COME HERE. I'll GET RID OF THEM.
[HICCUP]
OH, DEAR.
[HICCUP]
OH, MY.
Eddy: THERE. THEY'RE GONE.
HICCUPS HAVE LEF
THE BUILDING, EDDY.
[HICCUP]
STRONG HICCUPS.
QUICK, EDDY! DO SOMETHING!
DOUBLE D IS GONNA [HICCUP]
EXPLODE.
ED, YOU IDIOT,
THIS AIN'T GONNA GE
RID OF THE HICCUPS.
[HICCUP]
WATER! I NEED WATER!
[HICCUP]
[MOANING]
[HICCUP]
AAH!
YOU'RE DOING IT ALL WRONG.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
DRINK IT UPSIDE DOWN.
[HICCUP]
LET'S SCARE HIM, EDDY.
AAH!
I AM A ZOMBIE,
AND I WILL MALICE
YOU WITH A SHOEHORN.
[HICCUP]
MALICE ME WITH A SHOEHORN?
[HICCUP HICCUP]
Eddy: HA HA HA!
HICCUPS? ME?
IT LASTED FOR TWO DAYS!
I'M SURE I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED
INVOLUNTARY SPASMS OF
MY OWN DIAPHRAGM, EDDY.
I JUST REMEMBERED
SOMETHING I FORGOT.
SEE? A FLIPPER.
THAT'S A SPATULA, ED.
COOL! FROM WHEN WE
SPRAY-PAINTED THAT GOLD JEWELRY.
INCORRECTION.
ED'S RIGHT, EDDY.
THIS WAS CLEARLY
FROM WHEN WE
BARTERED EGGS FROM ROLF.
ROLF?
OH, LOOK. A FLIPPER.
IT'S A SPATULA, STUPID.
IT REMINDS ME OF WHEN WE
MADE THAT GIANT PANCAKE.
OOH, I MUST.
YUM.
MIXING THIS BATTER'S
KILLING MY ARMS.
ED! GET OVER HERE!
AAH!
Eddy: GRIDDLE
GREASED UP, DOUBLE D?
COOKING OIL IN PLACE, EDDY.
SWEET.
GET AN AGENT, BOYS,
BECAUSE WE'RE GONNA MAKE
THE WORLD'S BIGGEST PANCAKE!
I LOVE PANCAKES, EDDY!
SHUT UP AND POUR, LUMPY.
[DISTANT SHOUTING]
EXCUSE ME, EDDY.
EVERYONE SEEMS TO HAVE MISTAKEN
OUR GRIDDLE FOR A SKATING RINK.
HEY, YOU KIDS, GE
OUT OF MY FRYING PAN!
Sarah: JIMMY!
Edd: ED! WAIT!
HOLY MACKEREL! TIDAL WAVE!
AAH!
Edd: ED, WHAT IN HEAVEN'S
NAME HAVE YOU DONE?
IT'S A BOY!
FEAR NOT, PEOPLE,
AS I HAVE A SPATULA!
OH, NO, YOU DON'T.
I'M THE COOK AROUND HERE,
SO I GET THE SPATULA.
YUM.
I GOT A PRIZE, EDDY!
HEY!
KEEP YOUR MITTS OFF MY PANCAKE.
Eddy: OW! OOH! OW!
IT WASN'T ME! AAH!
AH, THE GOOD OLD DAYS.
WE NEVER MADE NO GIANT PANCAKE.
DID TOO. PROOF A FLIPPER.
GENTLEMEN, PLEASE.
THIS PROJECT WAS MEANT AS A
COMMEMORATION OF FRIENDSHIP,
A RETROSPECTIVE OF DAYS GONE BY.
ADMIT IT. YOU MADE THAT UP.
WAIT!
NOW I REMEMBER AS
THOUGH IT WERE TODAY.
Edd: WELL, HELLO, EDDY.
FASHIONABLY LATE AS USUAL.
LATE? LATE FOR WHAT?
OUR TIME CAPSULE,
EDDY. REMEMBER?
WE WERE TO GATHER A FEW OF
OUR POIGNANT POSSESSIONS
UHH.
I HATE CLIP SHOWS!
Edd: EDDY!
YOU STOP RIGHT THERE, MISTER!
REMEMBER WHEN YOU USED
THAT FISH TO DUEL WITH ROLF?
NO MORE REMEMBERING!
WOW. LOOKY HERE.
ISN'T THIS ICE PACK FROM WHEN
WE DESTROYED JONNY'S HOUSE?
QUIT RAKING UP THE PAST!
FUNNY. THIS REMINDS ME
OF A NUMBER OF OCCASIONS
WHERE YOU CHASED SHUT UP!
ED, DO SOMETHING!
GOOD TIMES, HUH, DOUBLE D?
ED, EDD N EDDY!
BL-BL-BL-BL-YEAH.