Remington Steele (1982) s04e07 Episode Script
Premium Steele
- What seems to be the problem? - I'm dead.
What do you think you're doing? Lester, look out! - You wanted to see me.
- I did? Yeah.
First of the dead people.
- You're sure you've never met before.
- Absolutely not.
Remington Steele! Of course.
I just did your obituary last week.
- Tell you one thing.
I'm scared.
- You are? Hell, yes.
Murder, county officials on the take, falsified records.
Laura's still in there! Twenty-eight-functioning wireless remote with direct access keypad tuning.
That's it.
Oh, my little beauty.
Built-in M.
T.
S.
- No interruptions, Mildred.
- But, chief- I need to concentrate.
Thank you.
Built-in M.
T.
S.
I'm sorry, boss, but I think you ought- Ooh, what's that? Investigative tool, Mildred.
Could break a case someday.
Hmm.
There's a gentleman outside who's really upset.
Well, Miss Holt is expert at dealing with distressed gentlemen.
She's finishing a security contract.
Besides, he wants to see you.
Oh, Mildred, please.
Look.
I'm right in the middle of- - I need your signature on these.
- Ha.
Glad you're here, Laura.
We have a client outside, okay? I sincerely hope agency funds didn't pay for this.
Excellent investment.
We get an immediate 10% tax investment credit.
Then it depreciates over a period of five years.
Ha.
Gone with the Wind? Merely to make sure that the machine is functioning properly.
That's all.
Ah, here comes our client right now.
- Lester Shane.
- Ah, Lester Shane, pleased to meet you.
How do you do? Remington Steele.
My associate, Laura Holt.
Miss Krebs tells me you're upset about something, and we're here to settle the matter.
What seems to be the problem? I'm dead.
Mr.
Shane, I don't mean to minimize your concern but this is just a rather obvious mistake, isn't it? Exactly what I thought, young lady, but the paper wouldn't listen to me.
Said they had a copy of my death certificate.
I'll admit, that's a bit odd, but why not just let it pass? You're definitely not dead.
Exactly what I thought, young man, but it ain't that simple.
See, I'm in town here on business, but my appointments keep cancelin' on me.
They seem to think I'm dead now too.
- Surely you can explain.
- And then I call my hometown.
It seems that somebody's phoned them with the news, and everyone's cryin' and all.
And if I drive real fast, I might make it back in time for my memorial service.
Kind of a snowball effect, huh? Boy, I tell you.
I'm gettin' to the point where I'm beginnin' to wonder whether I am dead or not.
Been pinchin' myself a lot the last few hours.
It's been quite a shock to my system.
And I think I'd like for you two to figure this thing out before it goes any further.
A mere bureaucratic snafu that Miss Holt will unravel in short order.
Under my watchful eye of course, hmm? Rosewood Cemetery.
Okeydokey.
Don't I know you? Remington Steele.
My associate, Laura Holt.
Steele.
Steele.
Remington Steele! Of course.
I just did your obituary last week.
Uh, forgive me, Miss Carter, but aren't you being a little bit hasty about that? Routine.
We do up obits on prominent people just in case they suddenly buy it.
I remember you because I had one heck of a time digging up background info on you.
Why is that anyway? Come on.
I can keep a secret.
Uh, Miss Carter, apparently you-You listed an obituary for a man who isn't dead.
His name is Lester Shane.
Oh, he's dead all right.
I got the death certificate in the mail yesterday.
As a matter of fact, some joker called me up this morning pretending to be this Shane guy.
Take our word for it.
He's very much alive.
Weil Mortuary sent you this information and asked you to place this obituary? - Yep.
- Could we have a copy of this, please? I'm afraid company policy stating that- Ms.
Carter.
Inasmuch as, uh, your file on me is somewhat incomplete what would you say to a discreet trade? Dinner sometime in exchange for the death certificate? You have to admit, this is a bit strange.
- Reluctantly.
- Relax.
Scarlett and Rhett aren't going anywhere.
Look, if it'll make you any happier we can split up, so we can resolve this case as quickly as possible.
Excellent.
Incidentally, you're not really planning on taking that poor girl to dinner, are you? We'll make it a threesome.
My hands are sort of full.
It's not imperative that we shake.
Uh, I just need a minute.
Dr.
Rossfeld, you're a gentleman.
Uh, I thank you for your patience.
My pleasure.
What can I do for you? Uh, do you happen to remember signing this death certificate? - Lester Shane.
- Should have been two days ago.
Well, there's no way I could have signed this.
Two days ago, I was at a conference in northern California.
Are you saying that this is a forgery? Well, it's hard to conceive why.
But, yes.
That's not my signature.
What's this all about? I wish I knew.
Um, thank you very much.
Certainly.
Hmm.
What do you think you're doing? I'm- I'm looking for Weil Mortuary.
Weil Mortuary closed down two years ago.
You're kidding.
Oh.
My Aunt Sophie always had a liking for this place, bless her freshly departed soul.
So, what goes on here now? - We process forms here.
- Oh! What types of forms? All types of forms.
Someone wants to create the illusion that Lester Shane is dead.
Why? Any thoughts, Mr.
Steele? If you were two extraneous wires, where would you want to be connected? Mr.
Steele, I promise I will buy you the entire MGM library, on videocassette if you would please put that down and concentrate on the matter at hand.
Deal.
D.
O.
A.
Edmond O'Brien, Luther Adler.
- United Artists, 1949.
- Yes? O'Brien plays a businessman who comes to the police at the beginning of the picture to report a murder- his own.
Somehow, he's been poisoned and doesn't understand why.
And the connection with Lester? It's-It's- It's a bit fuzzy at the moment, um.
However, um, D.
O.
A.
is available on videocassette.
We could always buy a copy, have a look at it.
Run it.
See where it leads us, huh? - Life insurance.
- Mm-hmm, yes.
Somebody is trying to collect on Lester's policy.
Lester, could you come here for a minute, please? Lester, this is very important.
- Do you have a life insurance policy? - Nope.
Once thought about getting one though.
Um, are you a wealthy man, Mr.
Shane? I'm comfortable.
Happily married? Happy as anyone can be after 22 years.
Gaslight.
Charles Boyer, Ingrid Bergman.
MGM, 1944.
Um, Boyer attempts to drive Ingrid crazy, um so he can have her committed and then, uh, finally gain her estate.
Oh, it's also available on videocassette.
Well, she don't have to drive me nuts.
- Everything's in my wife's name.
- Oh.
If only we could get into the Weil Mortuary building when it's empty.
Boy, that's one heck of a fine VCRyou got yourself there.
That's-That's the one with the built-in M.
T.
S.
, right? Ah, right.
Yes.
- I didn't realize you were familiar with this equipment.
- Shoot.
You kiddin'? I used to be an electrical engineer in Uncle Sam's army, before I went into agriculture.
Really? Uh, you wouldn't, perchance, happen to know the proper method of hooking one of these wonder videos up to one of those, uh, large, four-foot screens, would you? Mm, just did it for my nephew last weekend.
Two shakes of a lamb's tail.
Really? Hold this, Lester.
Come on.
- Let's go.
- Mr.
Steele? Keep pacing, Miss Holt.
I'm sure you'll come up with something.
I'm gonna take Lester into protective custody.
You could never be too careful with a man's life, even if he is officially dead.
- You're in agriculture, are you, Lester? - Yep.
Gilroy, California- garlic capital of the U.
S.
of A.
Mr.
Steele, I know more about garlic than a man should.
Lester, look out! It's impossible to trace that car with only two letters from the license plate.
Well, next time I'll let them hit Lester, but I'll get the entire plate, okay? - How is he? - He's all right.
He's fine.
He's fine.
I'm going to take him to my flat for safekeeping, okay? All right.
Bye-bye.
- No offense, Steele, but is this your neighborhood? - Well, uh, slight detour.
Uh, Fred, it's just up ahead on the right, mate.
I won't be a minute.
Uh, I'm looking for Monroe.
Thanks very much.
No, next week is not acceptable, my equivocating friend.
By Saturday or no sale.
And we thought it was tough in the old days, Mick.
It's a real jungle out here.
So, what do you think of your investment so far? I wouldn't have believed it, Monroe.
You really are serious about this.
Volume discount and personal service, my friend.
"Give the public what they want" is my newfound credo.
As opposed to taking the public for what you want.
That chapter's closed, Mick.
I told you.
I'm tired of running.
You didn't think I'd take your money and split? It wouldn't have surprised me.
Let's put it that way, hmm? Oh, you wound me, my friend.
Oh, Monroe.
When you came to me, I saw an old mate who was down on his luck needed a pat on the back and a few quid in his pocket.
I hardly expected this.
Reinvestment of profits, lines of credit, arbitrage.
Mick, it's a hell of a lot easier being a pirate on this side of the law - than the one I'm used to.
- Mm-hmm.
Now I suspect what's really brought you here has more to do with what's in this box than checking up on your humble servant.
Slight problem.
Oscar, bring an APL 475S to my office, please.
It's done.
- And my four-foot screen? - Ensconced in your bedroom as we speak.
I don't remember giving you the keys to my flat.
You're a busy man now, Mick.
No need to bother you with mundane details.
Uh-huh.
Well, it's reassuring to see that you haven't given up all our old ways.
How long before Atlanta burns yet again, Lester? We got a slight compatibility problem.
Persevere.
Persevere, mate! Bit stark, don't you think? It'll be getting dark in an hour.
Nothing gets by you, Laura.
This case is no longer a joking matter, Mr.
Steele.
Our client was almost killed today and a forged death certificate was submitted by a mortuary which doesn't exist.
It's time we started getting some answers beginning with what's going on at the former Weil Mortuary.
- Now? - Hey, Steele, I think I located the problem.
Where's that tape of Gone with the Wind? Uh, helps keep his mind off the case.
You know, idle hands.
That sort of thing.
I'll slip into something more appropriate, hmm.
- All right.
- All right? Got it? Yeah.
The room those girls were working in is just through that door.
On you go.
- You're sure this is the room? - Yes.
This morning, this office was filled with tables, filing cabinets and women up to their necks in paperwork! Uh-huh.
Well, uh- With great reluctance, I suggest we call it an evening.
Go back to my place, clear our minds with a screening of- - Not just yet.
- Of course not.
We still have one more card to play.
Okay.
Onwards.
- Yes? - Dr.
Rossfeld? - Yes.
- Federal Delivery Service.
Sign here, please.
It's a little late for a delivery, isn't it? You know our motto.
"On time, every time, all the time.
" Line 26.
I have no idea what this could be.
I'm not expecting anything.
- Thanks.
- Don't- Excuse me, Dr.
Rossfeld.
I'm afraid I need your full signature.
You just initialed this.
I've never heard of anything so silly in my entire life.
- Sorry.
Company policy.
- Mm-hmm.
Thank you very much.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
- Night.
- Good night.
- Okay, try it.
- You got it.
- Oh, darn.
- Mildred? Whoever sold you that thing, gave you the wrong manual.
- Afraid she's right.
- Monroe.
- I got that info on Dr.
Rossfeld.
- Mmm.
It took some doing too.
Had to go to the hall of records, then to Rossfeld's bank - where a friend of mine helped me out because- - Mildred.
Owns property in Reno, Tahoe and the Virgin Islands.
And cash accounts you wouldn't believe.
Hmm.
Dr.
Rossfeld seems to be in someone's front pocket.
That, or the coroner's office is one of the great undiscovered career opportunities.
Dr.
Rossfeld's signature on the death certificate is no forgery.
Dr.
Rossfeld has to do a bit of explaining, doesn't he? Finally, we're getting somewhere.
Anything else, Mildred? Yep.
The Weil Mortuary building is currently owned by a company called Perennial Corporation.
Okay.
Tomorrow Mr.
Steele will hit Rossfeld for some answers.
I'll explore Perennial Corporation.
Mildred, you and Lester go to the obit department of the newspaper and look up the name Weil Mortuary in any listings over the last two years.
Any obit with that name has got to be a phony.
If there are any phony listings, find out if the subjects are still alive.
If they are, I'd bet there's a common link with Lester.
Didn't you hear me? I just made a major breakthrough.
So did we.
We got sound.
- Mick, what brings you here? - I've got a bone to pick with you.
The large screen wasn't to your liking? Oh, it's lovely.
Although a picture would be even lovelier as would the correct instruction manual.
I'm going to have words with that manufacturer.
You're the second customer this has happened to.
- Good merchandise, but their quality control- - The instruction manual, Monroe.
- I'm going to do you one better, Mick.
- Oh.
I'm sending my best man out straightaway to make your video heaven reality.
Forget about reality.
Get me a picture.
Good day.
Good day.
Not only can you escort Miss Holt in but you can hold all calls till she departs.
Well, so you've come to your senses and finally realized that I'm the only man for you.
Oh, you're certainly the only broker for me.
- Good to see you, Norm.
- Oh, it's good to see you.
Where have you been hiding lately? Oh, don't tell me.
You're playing hard to get.
Well, it's working.
Oh, I've been pounding the pavement as usual.
I have a sinking feeling in my gut this is not a social call, is it? - Mmm.
Sit.
- Okay.
Tell me.
How can I win back your heart? Perennial Corporation.
- What do you know about it? - Quite a bit actually.
It's one of the glamour companies of the '80s.
A fast-food chain, life insurance company about 12 other businesses that are doing exceedingly well.
I've got plenty of my clients in Perennial and as a matter of fact, I myself, Mr.
Conservative have invested rather heavily in their stock.
Why? What's your interest in Perennial? I need to find out about a building they bought two years ago.
It's a bit unusual.
Do you mind my asking why? I'm on a case.
Always the professional.
Well, listen, uh, if you're really interested I can arrange a meeting with Perennial's president, Phil Lydon.
- He and I went to business school together.
- That would be great.
Oh, and, uh- Don't worry.
I'll find some way for you to return the favor.
Mmm.
May I help you? Benson Whitely, London coroner's office.
Here to, uh, compare notes with Dr.
Rossfeld.
Spoke to him this morning on the telephone.
- I doubt it.
- No concept of time.
Jet lag and all that.
Uh, must have been last night.
- Rossfeld got here a little early for your meeting.
- Mm-hmm.
Hit-and-run.
- Are you a gambling man? - Why? Eight-to-five you're looking for a black Ford.
- Where's Miss Holt? - At Perennial Corp.
- What about Rossfeld? - Uh, making a final tour of the morgue.
- Yes, can I help you? - ClaireJohnson.
You wanted to see me.
I did? Oh, yeah.
First of the dead people.
Ah, Miss Johnson.
Yes.
Sit down.
- Make yourself comfortable, will you? Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
- Seven to go.
- Uh-huh.
- Remington Steele? Six.
Huh.
Welcome, Miss Holt.
Mr.
Lydon, I appreciate your seeing me on such short notice.
Oh, frankly, I've never heard Norm Maxwell speak so glowingly of anyone in my life.
- Please, have a seat.
- Thank you.
- How about a drink? - No, thank you.
I don't want to take that much of your time.
This may sound strange, but I just wanted to find out why your company bought the Weil Mortuary building a few years back.
Is that why you're here? My gosh.
I- I had all sorts of horrible illusions.
Oh, after all, Norm told me that you're a private investigator.
Oh.
I just had some personal business to take care of at Weil and when I got there, I was told it had been sold two years ago.
Has it been two years already? While I was there, I was ushered away by a man who was very evasive when I asked him what was going on in the building.
That is odd.
Hmm.
We bought that building along with two others on that block as simple real estate investments.
Well, there's certainly nothing mysterious about that.
Do you happen to know what the women were doing in the building? No idea.
But if it's important, I'll have someone check, uh, check up on it.
I'd appreciate that.
Thanks a lot for your time.
What's this all about? As soon as I find out, I'll let you know.
- Thanks again.
- My pleasure.
That woman has become a liability that we can't afford.
- You're sure you've never met before.
- Absolutely not.
You fellas dress alike.
Are you sure there's no connection? - Lady, I'm a salesman from Sacramento.
- I'm an attorney from Irvine.
Say, weren't you in a Stanford production of Oklahoma six years ago? Sorry, I went to Yale.
What in the name of- Mildred? Don't blame me.
You told me to look in the obituaries and locate anybody listed with the Weil Mortuary.
I asked you to locate, Mildred, not corral.
The boss had me bring 'em in from all over.
- Chartered planes, limousines.
- He what? He's got them booked in a hotel on Wilshire until we can figure out what they have in common with Lester.
Excuse me.
I liked it a whole lot better when you weren't so interested in this case.
Excuse me.
Have you not heard of the conference call? Do you know how much money- Laura, trust me.
We are very close.
Each person out there in that reception area had their obituary placed in the newspaper by Weil Mortuary.
All we have to do now is figure out why.
Why the sudden urgency? Deputy Coroner Rossfeld is no longer an employee at the morgue.
He's a paying customer.
- Rossfeld's dead? - Hit-and-run.
Tough coincidence, eh? What have we stumbled into here? The List of Adrian Messenger.
George C.
Scott, Kirk Douglas.
Universal, 1963.
Fine film incidentally.
Available on videocassette.
Never mind the sales pitch.
Just hit me with the plot.
A number of names appear on a list with no apparent connection.
Scott finds the connection, stops the killer.
- What's the connection? - They were all in a World War II prison camp together.
- Great.
- Yes, I'm afraid I ruled that out a few minutes ago.
Look, Laura, the eight people out there all share something in common.
Something worth murdering for.
It's out there somewhere.
- But what? - We can only keep asking, hmm? Boy, I'm so tired of answering questions.
I'm gonna drop right off tonight.
Mm-hmm.
Well, we'll hit it fresh in the morning.
There has to be a connection between all of you.
Here we go.
Hey! Lighten up, man.
Monroe sent me.
Hold it right there, Holt.
Oh.
Norman.
What are you doing here? You didn't think I was gonna let you run in and out of my life so fast, did you? - How was your meeting with Phil Lydon? - Uneventful.
I'm not surprised.
So, what do you say to letting me try to win back your heart over a cup of coffee? I'd feel a lot better about it if I didn't think you were half-serious.
It's funny.
I thought, after four years, I would have had you completely out of my system.
Guess not.
I'm committed.
So, I guess we're destined to be good friends.
- Damn it.
- 'Fraid so.
Um, Laura can a rejected suitor invite a very lovely lady out for a cup of coffee? Sure.
Oh, wait a minute.
I'll make you some.
Fair enough.
What happened to you? The same thing that would have happened to you if I hadn't been able to jimmy your window open.
Is Lester okay? Yes, he's okay.
He's just a bit shaken up.
There's an 18-year-old kid who wasn't nearly so lucky.
- He got blown apart in my hallway.
- Uh, excuse me.
Everything okay in here? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Norman Maxwell.
Remington Steele.
How do you do? What happened to you? Someone doesn't like the way we do business.
Look, Laura, we're no longer dealing with bogus death certificates and obituaries.
The stakes just went up considerably.
- None of this makes any sense.
- Uh, listen, Laura haven't you had enough of this case? I mean, why don't you just call the police and back off? Somehow, I can't help thinking Perennial fits into this.
Oh, no, Laura, come on.
You're barking up the wrong tree.
I mean, Phil Lydon is my friend, for God sakes.
- Where're you going? - Uh, I booked us into a motel.
Olympic and Bundy.
Get there as soon as you can.
- What about you? - I'm just gonna make one stop.
Well, call me eccentric, but I think 11:30 in the evening is a bit late for business.
- Too late for a nightcap? - Well, it looks like you need more than that.
What's up, friend? Uh, the young man you sent over, uh- Rudy.
He's dead, Monroe.
Someone rigged a bomb to my front door, and, uh he, uh- Rudy was working the lock and- Does, uh- Does Rudy have any relatives that we should- I'll handle it.
He was a good kid, Mick.
Full of sass.
Just like we used to be.
I'm sorry, uh- There was no warning.
Doesn't make much sense, does it? All the chances we took, all the things we pulled.
It should have been one of us, Mick.
Not Rudy, not- not an innocent kid.
Should have been one of us.
Do you remember the old Frenchman on Barbados? The one who patched us up? - Sure.
- Do you remember what he said? "I have bad news, mes amis.
You'll live.
" You couldn't stop laughing.
Tore up some of your stitches.
You didn't crack a smile.
Because I saw another side of what he was saying.
I knew then we were lucky.
I mean, really lucky.
Dealt a few more aces than most people.
But it's a mixed blessing, because sometimes those we want to hold closest to us don't always have the same hand.
And there's nothing we can do about it.
Because we don't control the deck.
You're right.
I've felt that way too.
But there are ways we can even the score.
Do you know who did this? No, not yet.
Well, I want to be there when you do.
- Yeah? - It's me.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I, uh- I just left Lester.
He's sound asleep.
Where are you going? Just gonna turn down the air-conditioning.
Sorry.
- I guess I'm a bit jumpy.
- Sit down.
Sit down.
Come on.
Sit down.
Tell you one thing.
I'm scared.
You are? Hell, yes.
Murder, county officials on the take, falsified documents.
I think I'd be more concerned about myself if I weren't scared.
If only we knew what we were up against.
Yes.
I mean, who would have guessed a sweet little old garlic farmer like Lester would take the lid off Pandora's box? - Thanks.
- What for? For saving my life this afternoon.
For being here.
For being you.
Laura, I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Can't we call it quits, Steele? Let's face it.
There is no common denominator.
The natives are getting restless.
And we're running out of questions.
Do all of you have life insurance? This is what they call grasping at straws, Laura.
We already know Lester doesn't.
- No.
- Of course.
- Nope.
- Sure.
- Yep.
- No, ma'am.
- Yo.
- Yes.
So much for Double Indemnity.
And I was just so sure this had something to do with Perennial.
Is that Perennial the same as Perennial Life Insurance? You bet.
Perennial Corporation owns Perennial Life.
Is that the life insurance company you're with? - No.
- Naturally.
I almost went with them once though.
As a matter of fact, I went as far as making out an application with 'em.
Heck, it was 10 pages long.
But I moved out of the city and figured I should be with a company more in my neck of the woods.
That's funny.
I filled out an application for insurance in that company.
But the premiums would have been too big.
Listen, everybody.
How many of you, at some point in your life filled out an application for life insurance with a company by the name of Perennial Life Insurance? - Yes.
I have.
- Mm-hmm.
And I'll bet you anything that whatever those women were doing at Weil Mortuary had something to do with those applications.
Yes, but what does this tell us, Laura? None of these people have been cheated out of any money.
They weren't insured by Perennial.
They never paid a single premium.
We're close.
We're close.
We're getting very close.
We just have to get a little closer.
Yes, Cathy? Who? You're kidding.
I'll be right out.
- Philip Lydon? - Yes.
Detective Sanders.
Do you own a black Mercedes, license "PC1"? Yes, I do.
What's this about? I caught this gentleman here inside your vehicle.
If you'd like to accompany us downstairs, we can assess what else is missing.
Say, dig it, man.
There must be some kind of misunderstanding.
- There was another dude down there.
- Let's go, Officer.
- You understand what I'm sayin'? - Come on, buddy.
Let's go.
Move it.
Hey.
- Hello.
- Where's Sylvia? Well, she's got the flu.
May I, um- Be my guest.
Oop.
So, I sees this suspicious lookin' dude toyin' with the windows here.
And I said, "Hey, man, w- what you doin' here is dishonest.
" You sure there was nothing else taken from your car, Mr.
Lydon? - Yes.
- He would have taken the radio in another minute or two.
Oh, no, man.
You got me all wrong, jack.
I was tryin' to stop the dude from takin'- I think we'd better go back upstairs to your office.
- Pick up the evidence.
Come on, man.
- Hey, man, look- Look- Hey, man.
I got my professional reputation to think about, man.
- Move it.
- My image.
What you doin'? Come on, come on, come on.
Sorry to bother you.
I have a question about my ficus at home.
I thought maybe you could tell me what's wrong.
The leaves are all sticky.
Sticky leaves, huh? Yeah, it gets all over.
Now I thought it was sap or something, but a friend of mine says it's scales.
I'll tell you what.
As soon as I finish in here, I'll write down what you should do.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
Hello.
Naturally, I'm gonna have to ask you to come down to the station and swear a complaint.
Can't we just do it here and get it over with? Sorry, sir, I don't make the rules.
Come on.
All right.
You're gonna be hearin' from my attorney, man.
- This is police brutality.
- Come on.
Let's go.
Sucker.
Glad to see you haven't lost your touch.
Laura's still in there.
What should I do with these two? You're playing the cop.
Arrest them.
Get your hand off me! Oh! Ooh.
Well, I see you haven't lost your touch, either.
This is unbelievable.
Do you understand what Perennial did? All I got from those records is that they made up fake policies on those eight people after they moved out of Los Angeles.
That's just the tip of the iceberg.
Perennial then sold the policies to these other companies.
It's a common practice, like banks with mortgages.
So, Perennial made up bogus policies sold them and then killed off the policyholders by using forged documents? That's right.
That's right.
The other insurance companies then paid death benefits to Perennial expecting them to pass them along to the proper beneficiaries but Perennial just pocketed the money themselves.
Bingo.
We're talking fraud on a scale of tens of millions of dollars, and nobody had a clue.
Until Lester Shane visited Los Angeles on the wrong day.
Yeah.
- What's the matter, Norman? - Oh, my good friend, Phil Lydon.
I'm afraid his high-flying days are over.
Yeah.
So are mine.
What? I told you, Laura.
I put all my money in Perennial.
I put all my clients heavily into Perennial.
When this item breaks, that stock is gonna be worthless.
It'll ruin all of us.
Thinking of your friend Maxwell? I don't know what I'd do if my world suddenly fell apart like that.
You'd go on.
Because that's the only choice any of us ever have.
- We got picture.
! - And sound.
! They've got picture and sound.
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
What do you think you're doing? Lester, look out! - You wanted to see me.
- I did? Yeah.
First of the dead people.
- You're sure you've never met before.
- Absolutely not.
Remington Steele! Of course.
I just did your obituary last week.
- Tell you one thing.
I'm scared.
- You are? Hell, yes.
Murder, county officials on the take, falsified records.
Laura's still in there! Twenty-eight-functioning wireless remote with direct access keypad tuning.
That's it.
Oh, my little beauty.
Built-in M.
T.
S.
- No interruptions, Mildred.
- But, chief- I need to concentrate.
Thank you.
Built-in M.
T.
S.
I'm sorry, boss, but I think you ought- Ooh, what's that? Investigative tool, Mildred.
Could break a case someday.
Hmm.
There's a gentleman outside who's really upset.
Well, Miss Holt is expert at dealing with distressed gentlemen.
She's finishing a security contract.
Besides, he wants to see you.
Oh, Mildred, please.
Look.
I'm right in the middle of- - I need your signature on these.
- Ha.
Glad you're here, Laura.
We have a client outside, okay? I sincerely hope agency funds didn't pay for this.
Excellent investment.
We get an immediate 10% tax investment credit.
Then it depreciates over a period of five years.
Ha.
Gone with the Wind? Merely to make sure that the machine is functioning properly.
That's all.
Ah, here comes our client right now.
- Lester Shane.
- Ah, Lester Shane, pleased to meet you.
How do you do? Remington Steele.
My associate, Laura Holt.
Miss Krebs tells me you're upset about something, and we're here to settle the matter.
What seems to be the problem? I'm dead.
Mr.
Shane, I don't mean to minimize your concern but this is just a rather obvious mistake, isn't it? Exactly what I thought, young lady, but the paper wouldn't listen to me.
Said they had a copy of my death certificate.
I'll admit, that's a bit odd, but why not just let it pass? You're definitely not dead.
Exactly what I thought, young man, but it ain't that simple.
See, I'm in town here on business, but my appointments keep cancelin' on me.
They seem to think I'm dead now too.
- Surely you can explain.
- And then I call my hometown.
It seems that somebody's phoned them with the news, and everyone's cryin' and all.
And if I drive real fast, I might make it back in time for my memorial service.
Kind of a snowball effect, huh? Boy, I tell you.
I'm gettin' to the point where I'm beginnin' to wonder whether I am dead or not.
Been pinchin' myself a lot the last few hours.
It's been quite a shock to my system.
And I think I'd like for you two to figure this thing out before it goes any further.
A mere bureaucratic snafu that Miss Holt will unravel in short order.
Under my watchful eye of course, hmm? Rosewood Cemetery.
Okeydokey.
Don't I know you? Remington Steele.
My associate, Laura Holt.
Steele.
Steele.
Remington Steele! Of course.
I just did your obituary last week.
Uh, forgive me, Miss Carter, but aren't you being a little bit hasty about that? Routine.
We do up obits on prominent people just in case they suddenly buy it.
I remember you because I had one heck of a time digging up background info on you.
Why is that anyway? Come on.
I can keep a secret.
Uh, Miss Carter, apparently you-You listed an obituary for a man who isn't dead.
His name is Lester Shane.
Oh, he's dead all right.
I got the death certificate in the mail yesterday.
As a matter of fact, some joker called me up this morning pretending to be this Shane guy.
Take our word for it.
He's very much alive.
Weil Mortuary sent you this information and asked you to place this obituary? - Yep.
- Could we have a copy of this, please? I'm afraid company policy stating that- Ms.
Carter.
Inasmuch as, uh, your file on me is somewhat incomplete what would you say to a discreet trade? Dinner sometime in exchange for the death certificate? You have to admit, this is a bit strange.
- Reluctantly.
- Relax.
Scarlett and Rhett aren't going anywhere.
Look, if it'll make you any happier we can split up, so we can resolve this case as quickly as possible.
Excellent.
Incidentally, you're not really planning on taking that poor girl to dinner, are you? We'll make it a threesome.
My hands are sort of full.
It's not imperative that we shake.
Uh, I just need a minute.
Dr.
Rossfeld, you're a gentleman.
Uh, I thank you for your patience.
My pleasure.
What can I do for you? Uh, do you happen to remember signing this death certificate? - Lester Shane.
- Should have been two days ago.
Well, there's no way I could have signed this.
Two days ago, I was at a conference in northern California.
Are you saying that this is a forgery? Well, it's hard to conceive why.
But, yes.
That's not my signature.
What's this all about? I wish I knew.
Um, thank you very much.
Certainly.
Hmm.
What do you think you're doing? I'm- I'm looking for Weil Mortuary.
Weil Mortuary closed down two years ago.
You're kidding.
Oh.
My Aunt Sophie always had a liking for this place, bless her freshly departed soul.
So, what goes on here now? - We process forms here.
- Oh! What types of forms? All types of forms.
Someone wants to create the illusion that Lester Shane is dead.
Why? Any thoughts, Mr.
Steele? If you were two extraneous wires, where would you want to be connected? Mr.
Steele, I promise I will buy you the entire MGM library, on videocassette if you would please put that down and concentrate on the matter at hand.
Deal.
D.
O.
A.
Edmond O'Brien, Luther Adler.
- United Artists, 1949.
- Yes? O'Brien plays a businessman who comes to the police at the beginning of the picture to report a murder- his own.
Somehow, he's been poisoned and doesn't understand why.
And the connection with Lester? It's-It's- It's a bit fuzzy at the moment, um.
However, um, D.
O.
A.
is available on videocassette.
We could always buy a copy, have a look at it.
Run it.
See where it leads us, huh? - Life insurance.
- Mm-hmm, yes.
Somebody is trying to collect on Lester's policy.
Lester, could you come here for a minute, please? Lester, this is very important.
- Do you have a life insurance policy? - Nope.
Once thought about getting one though.
Um, are you a wealthy man, Mr.
Shane? I'm comfortable.
Happily married? Happy as anyone can be after 22 years.
Gaslight.
Charles Boyer, Ingrid Bergman.
MGM, 1944.
Um, Boyer attempts to drive Ingrid crazy, um so he can have her committed and then, uh, finally gain her estate.
Oh, it's also available on videocassette.
Well, she don't have to drive me nuts.
- Everything's in my wife's name.
- Oh.
If only we could get into the Weil Mortuary building when it's empty.
Boy, that's one heck of a fine VCRyou got yourself there.
That's-That's the one with the built-in M.
T.
S.
, right? Ah, right.
Yes.
- I didn't realize you were familiar with this equipment.
- Shoot.
You kiddin'? I used to be an electrical engineer in Uncle Sam's army, before I went into agriculture.
Really? Uh, you wouldn't, perchance, happen to know the proper method of hooking one of these wonder videos up to one of those, uh, large, four-foot screens, would you? Mm, just did it for my nephew last weekend.
Two shakes of a lamb's tail.
Really? Hold this, Lester.
Come on.
- Let's go.
- Mr.
Steele? Keep pacing, Miss Holt.
I'm sure you'll come up with something.
I'm gonna take Lester into protective custody.
You could never be too careful with a man's life, even if he is officially dead.
- You're in agriculture, are you, Lester? - Yep.
Gilroy, California- garlic capital of the U.
S.
of A.
Mr.
Steele, I know more about garlic than a man should.
Lester, look out! It's impossible to trace that car with only two letters from the license plate.
Well, next time I'll let them hit Lester, but I'll get the entire plate, okay? - How is he? - He's all right.
He's fine.
He's fine.
I'm going to take him to my flat for safekeeping, okay? All right.
Bye-bye.
- No offense, Steele, but is this your neighborhood? - Well, uh, slight detour.
Uh, Fred, it's just up ahead on the right, mate.
I won't be a minute.
Uh, I'm looking for Monroe.
Thanks very much.
No, next week is not acceptable, my equivocating friend.
By Saturday or no sale.
And we thought it was tough in the old days, Mick.
It's a real jungle out here.
So, what do you think of your investment so far? I wouldn't have believed it, Monroe.
You really are serious about this.
Volume discount and personal service, my friend.
"Give the public what they want" is my newfound credo.
As opposed to taking the public for what you want.
That chapter's closed, Mick.
I told you.
I'm tired of running.
You didn't think I'd take your money and split? It wouldn't have surprised me.
Let's put it that way, hmm? Oh, you wound me, my friend.
Oh, Monroe.
When you came to me, I saw an old mate who was down on his luck needed a pat on the back and a few quid in his pocket.
I hardly expected this.
Reinvestment of profits, lines of credit, arbitrage.
Mick, it's a hell of a lot easier being a pirate on this side of the law - than the one I'm used to.
- Mm-hmm.
Now I suspect what's really brought you here has more to do with what's in this box than checking up on your humble servant.
Slight problem.
Oscar, bring an APL 475S to my office, please.
It's done.
- And my four-foot screen? - Ensconced in your bedroom as we speak.
I don't remember giving you the keys to my flat.
You're a busy man now, Mick.
No need to bother you with mundane details.
Uh-huh.
Well, it's reassuring to see that you haven't given up all our old ways.
How long before Atlanta burns yet again, Lester? We got a slight compatibility problem.
Persevere.
Persevere, mate! Bit stark, don't you think? It'll be getting dark in an hour.
Nothing gets by you, Laura.
This case is no longer a joking matter, Mr.
Steele.
Our client was almost killed today and a forged death certificate was submitted by a mortuary which doesn't exist.
It's time we started getting some answers beginning with what's going on at the former Weil Mortuary.
- Now? - Hey, Steele, I think I located the problem.
Where's that tape of Gone with the Wind? Uh, helps keep his mind off the case.
You know, idle hands.
That sort of thing.
I'll slip into something more appropriate, hmm.
- All right.
- All right? Got it? Yeah.
The room those girls were working in is just through that door.
On you go.
- You're sure this is the room? - Yes.
This morning, this office was filled with tables, filing cabinets and women up to their necks in paperwork! Uh-huh.
Well, uh- With great reluctance, I suggest we call it an evening.
Go back to my place, clear our minds with a screening of- - Not just yet.
- Of course not.
We still have one more card to play.
Okay.
Onwards.
- Yes? - Dr.
Rossfeld? - Yes.
- Federal Delivery Service.
Sign here, please.
It's a little late for a delivery, isn't it? You know our motto.
"On time, every time, all the time.
" Line 26.
I have no idea what this could be.
I'm not expecting anything.
- Thanks.
- Don't- Excuse me, Dr.
Rossfeld.
I'm afraid I need your full signature.
You just initialed this.
I've never heard of anything so silly in my entire life.
- Sorry.
Company policy.
- Mm-hmm.
Thank you very much.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
- Night.
- Good night.
- Okay, try it.
- You got it.
- Oh, darn.
- Mildred? Whoever sold you that thing, gave you the wrong manual.
- Afraid she's right.
- Monroe.
- I got that info on Dr.
Rossfeld.
- Mmm.
It took some doing too.
Had to go to the hall of records, then to Rossfeld's bank - where a friend of mine helped me out because- - Mildred.
Owns property in Reno, Tahoe and the Virgin Islands.
And cash accounts you wouldn't believe.
Hmm.
Dr.
Rossfeld seems to be in someone's front pocket.
That, or the coroner's office is one of the great undiscovered career opportunities.
Dr.
Rossfeld's signature on the death certificate is no forgery.
Dr.
Rossfeld has to do a bit of explaining, doesn't he? Finally, we're getting somewhere.
Anything else, Mildred? Yep.
The Weil Mortuary building is currently owned by a company called Perennial Corporation.
Okay.
Tomorrow Mr.
Steele will hit Rossfeld for some answers.
I'll explore Perennial Corporation.
Mildred, you and Lester go to the obit department of the newspaper and look up the name Weil Mortuary in any listings over the last two years.
Any obit with that name has got to be a phony.
If there are any phony listings, find out if the subjects are still alive.
If they are, I'd bet there's a common link with Lester.
Didn't you hear me? I just made a major breakthrough.
So did we.
We got sound.
- Mick, what brings you here? - I've got a bone to pick with you.
The large screen wasn't to your liking? Oh, it's lovely.
Although a picture would be even lovelier as would the correct instruction manual.
I'm going to have words with that manufacturer.
You're the second customer this has happened to.
- Good merchandise, but their quality control- - The instruction manual, Monroe.
- I'm going to do you one better, Mick.
- Oh.
I'm sending my best man out straightaway to make your video heaven reality.
Forget about reality.
Get me a picture.
Good day.
Good day.
Not only can you escort Miss Holt in but you can hold all calls till she departs.
Well, so you've come to your senses and finally realized that I'm the only man for you.
Oh, you're certainly the only broker for me.
- Good to see you, Norm.
- Oh, it's good to see you.
Where have you been hiding lately? Oh, don't tell me.
You're playing hard to get.
Well, it's working.
Oh, I've been pounding the pavement as usual.
I have a sinking feeling in my gut this is not a social call, is it? - Mmm.
Sit.
- Okay.
Tell me.
How can I win back your heart? Perennial Corporation.
- What do you know about it? - Quite a bit actually.
It's one of the glamour companies of the '80s.
A fast-food chain, life insurance company about 12 other businesses that are doing exceedingly well.
I've got plenty of my clients in Perennial and as a matter of fact, I myself, Mr.
Conservative have invested rather heavily in their stock.
Why? What's your interest in Perennial? I need to find out about a building they bought two years ago.
It's a bit unusual.
Do you mind my asking why? I'm on a case.
Always the professional.
Well, listen, uh, if you're really interested I can arrange a meeting with Perennial's president, Phil Lydon.
- He and I went to business school together.
- That would be great.
Oh, and, uh- Don't worry.
I'll find some way for you to return the favor.
Mmm.
May I help you? Benson Whitely, London coroner's office.
Here to, uh, compare notes with Dr.
Rossfeld.
Spoke to him this morning on the telephone.
- I doubt it.
- No concept of time.
Jet lag and all that.
Uh, must have been last night.
- Rossfeld got here a little early for your meeting.
- Mm-hmm.
Hit-and-run.
- Are you a gambling man? - Why? Eight-to-five you're looking for a black Ford.
- Where's Miss Holt? - At Perennial Corp.
- What about Rossfeld? - Uh, making a final tour of the morgue.
- Yes, can I help you? - ClaireJohnson.
You wanted to see me.
I did? Oh, yeah.
First of the dead people.
Ah, Miss Johnson.
Yes.
Sit down.
- Make yourself comfortable, will you? Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
- Seven to go.
- Uh-huh.
- Remington Steele? Six.
Huh.
Welcome, Miss Holt.
Mr.
Lydon, I appreciate your seeing me on such short notice.
Oh, frankly, I've never heard Norm Maxwell speak so glowingly of anyone in my life.
- Please, have a seat.
- Thank you.
- How about a drink? - No, thank you.
I don't want to take that much of your time.
This may sound strange, but I just wanted to find out why your company bought the Weil Mortuary building a few years back.
Is that why you're here? My gosh.
I- I had all sorts of horrible illusions.
Oh, after all, Norm told me that you're a private investigator.
Oh.
I just had some personal business to take care of at Weil and when I got there, I was told it had been sold two years ago.
Has it been two years already? While I was there, I was ushered away by a man who was very evasive when I asked him what was going on in the building.
That is odd.
Hmm.
We bought that building along with two others on that block as simple real estate investments.
Well, there's certainly nothing mysterious about that.
Do you happen to know what the women were doing in the building? No idea.
But if it's important, I'll have someone check, uh, check up on it.
I'd appreciate that.
Thanks a lot for your time.
What's this all about? As soon as I find out, I'll let you know.
- Thanks again.
- My pleasure.
That woman has become a liability that we can't afford.
- You're sure you've never met before.
- Absolutely not.
You fellas dress alike.
Are you sure there's no connection? - Lady, I'm a salesman from Sacramento.
- I'm an attorney from Irvine.
Say, weren't you in a Stanford production of Oklahoma six years ago? Sorry, I went to Yale.
What in the name of- Mildred? Don't blame me.
You told me to look in the obituaries and locate anybody listed with the Weil Mortuary.
I asked you to locate, Mildred, not corral.
The boss had me bring 'em in from all over.
- Chartered planes, limousines.
- He what? He's got them booked in a hotel on Wilshire until we can figure out what they have in common with Lester.
Excuse me.
I liked it a whole lot better when you weren't so interested in this case.
Excuse me.
Have you not heard of the conference call? Do you know how much money- Laura, trust me.
We are very close.
Each person out there in that reception area had their obituary placed in the newspaper by Weil Mortuary.
All we have to do now is figure out why.
Why the sudden urgency? Deputy Coroner Rossfeld is no longer an employee at the morgue.
He's a paying customer.
- Rossfeld's dead? - Hit-and-run.
Tough coincidence, eh? What have we stumbled into here? The List of Adrian Messenger.
George C.
Scott, Kirk Douglas.
Universal, 1963.
Fine film incidentally.
Available on videocassette.
Never mind the sales pitch.
Just hit me with the plot.
A number of names appear on a list with no apparent connection.
Scott finds the connection, stops the killer.
- What's the connection? - They were all in a World War II prison camp together.
- Great.
- Yes, I'm afraid I ruled that out a few minutes ago.
Look, Laura, the eight people out there all share something in common.
Something worth murdering for.
It's out there somewhere.
- But what? - We can only keep asking, hmm? Boy, I'm so tired of answering questions.
I'm gonna drop right off tonight.
Mm-hmm.
Well, we'll hit it fresh in the morning.
There has to be a connection between all of you.
Here we go.
Hey! Lighten up, man.
Monroe sent me.
Hold it right there, Holt.
Oh.
Norman.
What are you doing here? You didn't think I was gonna let you run in and out of my life so fast, did you? - How was your meeting with Phil Lydon? - Uneventful.
I'm not surprised.
So, what do you say to letting me try to win back your heart over a cup of coffee? I'd feel a lot better about it if I didn't think you were half-serious.
It's funny.
I thought, after four years, I would have had you completely out of my system.
Guess not.
I'm committed.
So, I guess we're destined to be good friends.
- Damn it.
- 'Fraid so.
Um, Laura can a rejected suitor invite a very lovely lady out for a cup of coffee? Sure.
Oh, wait a minute.
I'll make you some.
Fair enough.
What happened to you? The same thing that would have happened to you if I hadn't been able to jimmy your window open.
Is Lester okay? Yes, he's okay.
He's just a bit shaken up.
There's an 18-year-old kid who wasn't nearly so lucky.
- He got blown apart in my hallway.
- Uh, excuse me.
Everything okay in here? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Norman Maxwell.
Remington Steele.
How do you do? What happened to you? Someone doesn't like the way we do business.
Look, Laura, we're no longer dealing with bogus death certificates and obituaries.
The stakes just went up considerably.
- None of this makes any sense.
- Uh, listen, Laura haven't you had enough of this case? I mean, why don't you just call the police and back off? Somehow, I can't help thinking Perennial fits into this.
Oh, no, Laura, come on.
You're barking up the wrong tree.
I mean, Phil Lydon is my friend, for God sakes.
- Where're you going? - Uh, I booked us into a motel.
Olympic and Bundy.
Get there as soon as you can.
- What about you? - I'm just gonna make one stop.
Well, call me eccentric, but I think 11:30 in the evening is a bit late for business.
- Too late for a nightcap? - Well, it looks like you need more than that.
What's up, friend? Uh, the young man you sent over, uh- Rudy.
He's dead, Monroe.
Someone rigged a bomb to my front door, and, uh he, uh- Rudy was working the lock and- Does, uh- Does Rudy have any relatives that we should- I'll handle it.
He was a good kid, Mick.
Full of sass.
Just like we used to be.
I'm sorry, uh- There was no warning.
Doesn't make much sense, does it? All the chances we took, all the things we pulled.
It should have been one of us, Mick.
Not Rudy, not- not an innocent kid.
Should have been one of us.
Do you remember the old Frenchman on Barbados? The one who patched us up? - Sure.
- Do you remember what he said? "I have bad news, mes amis.
You'll live.
" You couldn't stop laughing.
Tore up some of your stitches.
You didn't crack a smile.
Because I saw another side of what he was saying.
I knew then we were lucky.
I mean, really lucky.
Dealt a few more aces than most people.
But it's a mixed blessing, because sometimes those we want to hold closest to us don't always have the same hand.
And there's nothing we can do about it.
Because we don't control the deck.
You're right.
I've felt that way too.
But there are ways we can even the score.
Do you know who did this? No, not yet.
Well, I want to be there when you do.
- Yeah? - It's me.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I, uh- I just left Lester.
He's sound asleep.
Where are you going? Just gonna turn down the air-conditioning.
Sorry.
- I guess I'm a bit jumpy.
- Sit down.
Sit down.
Come on.
Sit down.
Tell you one thing.
I'm scared.
You are? Hell, yes.
Murder, county officials on the take, falsified documents.
I think I'd be more concerned about myself if I weren't scared.
If only we knew what we were up against.
Yes.
I mean, who would have guessed a sweet little old garlic farmer like Lester would take the lid off Pandora's box? - Thanks.
- What for? For saving my life this afternoon.
For being here.
For being you.
Laura, I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Can't we call it quits, Steele? Let's face it.
There is no common denominator.
The natives are getting restless.
And we're running out of questions.
Do all of you have life insurance? This is what they call grasping at straws, Laura.
We already know Lester doesn't.
- No.
- Of course.
- Nope.
- Sure.
- Yep.
- No, ma'am.
- Yo.
- Yes.
So much for Double Indemnity.
And I was just so sure this had something to do with Perennial.
Is that Perennial the same as Perennial Life Insurance? You bet.
Perennial Corporation owns Perennial Life.
Is that the life insurance company you're with? - No.
- Naturally.
I almost went with them once though.
As a matter of fact, I went as far as making out an application with 'em.
Heck, it was 10 pages long.
But I moved out of the city and figured I should be with a company more in my neck of the woods.
That's funny.
I filled out an application for insurance in that company.
But the premiums would have been too big.
Listen, everybody.
How many of you, at some point in your life filled out an application for life insurance with a company by the name of Perennial Life Insurance? - Yes.
I have.
- Mm-hmm.
And I'll bet you anything that whatever those women were doing at Weil Mortuary had something to do with those applications.
Yes, but what does this tell us, Laura? None of these people have been cheated out of any money.
They weren't insured by Perennial.
They never paid a single premium.
We're close.
We're close.
We're getting very close.
We just have to get a little closer.
Yes, Cathy? Who? You're kidding.
I'll be right out.
- Philip Lydon? - Yes.
Detective Sanders.
Do you own a black Mercedes, license "PC1"? Yes, I do.
What's this about? I caught this gentleman here inside your vehicle.
If you'd like to accompany us downstairs, we can assess what else is missing.
Say, dig it, man.
There must be some kind of misunderstanding.
- There was another dude down there.
- Let's go, Officer.
- You understand what I'm sayin'? - Come on, buddy.
Let's go.
Move it.
Hey.
- Hello.
- Where's Sylvia? Well, she's got the flu.
May I, um- Be my guest.
Oop.
So, I sees this suspicious lookin' dude toyin' with the windows here.
And I said, "Hey, man, w- what you doin' here is dishonest.
" You sure there was nothing else taken from your car, Mr.
Lydon? - Yes.
- He would have taken the radio in another minute or two.
Oh, no, man.
You got me all wrong, jack.
I was tryin' to stop the dude from takin'- I think we'd better go back upstairs to your office.
- Pick up the evidence.
Come on, man.
- Hey, man, look- Look- Hey, man.
I got my professional reputation to think about, man.
- Move it.
- My image.
What you doin'? Come on, come on, come on.
Sorry to bother you.
I have a question about my ficus at home.
I thought maybe you could tell me what's wrong.
The leaves are all sticky.
Sticky leaves, huh? Yeah, it gets all over.
Now I thought it was sap or something, but a friend of mine says it's scales.
I'll tell you what.
As soon as I finish in here, I'll write down what you should do.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
Hello.
Naturally, I'm gonna have to ask you to come down to the station and swear a complaint.
Can't we just do it here and get it over with? Sorry, sir, I don't make the rules.
Come on.
All right.
You're gonna be hearin' from my attorney, man.
- This is police brutality.
- Come on.
Let's go.
Sucker.
Glad to see you haven't lost your touch.
Laura's still in there.
What should I do with these two? You're playing the cop.
Arrest them.
Get your hand off me! Oh! Ooh.
Well, I see you haven't lost your touch, either.
This is unbelievable.
Do you understand what Perennial did? All I got from those records is that they made up fake policies on those eight people after they moved out of Los Angeles.
That's just the tip of the iceberg.
Perennial then sold the policies to these other companies.
It's a common practice, like banks with mortgages.
So, Perennial made up bogus policies sold them and then killed off the policyholders by using forged documents? That's right.
That's right.
The other insurance companies then paid death benefits to Perennial expecting them to pass them along to the proper beneficiaries but Perennial just pocketed the money themselves.
Bingo.
We're talking fraud on a scale of tens of millions of dollars, and nobody had a clue.
Until Lester Shane visited Los Angeles on the wrong day.
Yeah.
- What's the matter, Norman? - Oh, my good friend, Phil Lydon.
I'm afraid his high-flying days are over.
Yeah.
So are mine.
What? I told you, Laura.
I put all my money in Perennial.
I put all my clients heavily into Perennial.
When this item breaks, that stock is gonna be worthless.
It'll ruin all of us.
Thinking of your friend Maxwell? I don't know what I'd do if my world suddenly fell apart like that.
You'd go on.
Because that's the only choice any of us ever have.
- We got picture.
! - And sound.
! They've got picture and sound.
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.