Royal Pains s04e07 Episode Script

Previously on Royal Pains I need your help.
Would you be interested in joining me in a venture? - What are you doing here? - I've left your father.
This is a pager watch.
It operates on a secure frequency.
When it beeps, you would remove the SIM card from your personal cell and proceed directly here - to Shadow Pond.
- I'm in.
If you don't start changing, if you don't stop this behavior, you are going to end up unloved and alone! I went to see him.
We had a fight.
This is all my fault.
I have to go.
Thanks.
- We going to your apartment? - No, a neutral location.
I'm afraid there won't be time to get you settled, Hank.
We have to begin work immediately.
Well Christina.
- Boris.
- I can't believe it.
Oh, um, meet Hank Lawson, my doctor.
Hank, my translator, Christina Dumond.
- Pleased to meet you.
- And you.
I didn't realize there was a language Boris didn't speak.
He has a few weaknesses.
For whom will I be translating? For Dmitry Vasilyev.
An oil broker I've had some business with over the years.
That explains why I was just informed your guest won't be arriving tonight.
- No.
- Mm.
He's being Dmitry.
The negotiation always begins with getting him in the room.
So, Hank, you see what you've signed on for? You're not even a doctor, are you? Me, uh well, you've guessed it.
Hank is here primarily as a fourth.
You do play poker, Hank? - It's been a while.
- Uh-huh.
Well, all we need is our guest of honor.
So it appears that you're at leisure now for this evening.
Thank you for being here.
Hank, we'll get you settled after all.
Okay.
What are you doing? Trying to impress my new boss.
He's awesome.
He is awesome.
But, uh, all he asked you to do was cover Hank's schedule for tomorrow.
What Jeremiah is all set.
All right, enough, enough.
Yeah! Are you really seeing Brady Wilkerson tomorrow? Pretty impressive, huh? I would love to come along.
Uh, you can't.
Why? Because, you know You're our new office manager.
I mean, as much as I would love it, you can't go along every time I rub shoulders with greatness.
Not that Hankmed's ever rubbed Brady Wilkerson's shoulders before.
Or any other part of him.
He's kind of a dream client, actually.
He was one of our first retainers.
No one's ever met the guy 'cause he's never sick.
He's probably too busy making money.
I know.
He's an ex-boyfriend.
You dated the guy who invented cashbox? No, we didn't exactly date.
More just spent a summer together.
Oh, that's better.
At space camp! We were 12.
Hmm.
- But I had a big crush on him.
- That's awesome.
You had a big crush on the evil genius who made billions counting other people's money.
And now I have a big crush on the sweet genius who built Hankmed.
- Nice save.
- Yeah.
What's this red flag next to Brady's name? Oh, those are for retainers who are past due to renew their contracts.
- Really? - Yeah.
Did, uh did he have a big crush on you too? Maybe.
Maybe you should tag along then.
I love this job.
Father! Oh, father, thank goodness.
Do you do you know where you are? Yes.
Now go away.
Royal Pains 4x07 - Fools Russian Original air date July 25, 2012 Fido! Payload? Is that you? Oh, my gosh, you look great.
And you really haven't changed a bit.
- Wha - Oh-kay.
Hey, Evan R.
Lawson.
I'm the CFO of Hankmed.
- Hey.
- Hi.
This is Dr.
Sacani.
I'm sorry, how are you guys Oh, I'm I'm working with Hankmed this summer.
And Evan is my fiance.
Congrats.
How grown-up of you.
Right? Yeah, sorry we've never had a chance to meet.
But I mean, I'm not sorry you haven't had need of a doctor in over a year, but believe it or not, it's been that long.
Well, you know, I was one of Hankmed's first retainers.
I do know, and in order to show our appreciation, I brought you a renewal contract.
Oh.
Any special deals for charter clients? Especially healthy ones? Ha.
Uh, Hankmed offers all our clients the highest level of care.
All right, well, I'll take a look at it.
Okay.
Uh, we do offer wellness consults, and, Fido, you don't have to be sick to call.
Speaking of wellness, do you guys got time for some ginseng tea? It's amazing.
Uh, shouldn't we complete your exam first? Exam? Your business manager didn't tell you? Wait, Ralph set up an appointment? He said you've been suffering migraines.
Okay, well, he's the one suffering over how I've been investing my money ever since I decided to go to space.
You went to space? I'm sorry, you went to outer space? Life-transforming trip.
- What? Are you kidding? - Yeah.
Everybody should go.
You know, I've always been a space geek, just like Paige.
- We dream the dream, right? - Right.
But actually going changed me in unexpected ways, really.
You developed migraines in space? No, no, no, I've had migraines in the past.
And, you know, I had a couple when I first got back, but that was over a month ago.
I want to go back.
Okay, well, Dr.
Sacani can do a quick exam - Yeah.
- Just a quick one, yeah.
And maybe while he's at it, you can, uh you can tell us what's it like? You know what? You can't put it into words, man.
And that is why I'm entering the space race.
You know, my vision space tourism's for everyone.
You know, it can't transform lives if it's not accessible.
Wow.
I just had an inspired okay you guys are engaged, you both love space.
How 'bout you get married on my company's maiden voyage? Talk about romance.
A wedding in space? We aim to launch next year.
- So do we.
- Well - How perfect is that? - Oh, yeah.
Well, I guess it would keep the guest list down.
Honey, it would be the first space wedding.
Well, technically Star Trek, but - No, that doesn't count.
- Also, it's fictional.
- What? Spock married T'pring - No, no.
But the wedding never happened, remember? Oh, my gosh, she made him fight Kirk.
- To the death.
- How do you fight to the death with a broomstick with a pillow on the end of it? The music was, like Oh, my God, you wanna do the thing? - They were like, zhogg! Yeah.
- But it was more like it was like slow, and they just circled.
And then when they did it, it was just, like, crack, crack, for, like, five minutes.
And then the foot sweep, like oh, yeah.
Whoosh! - Exactly like that! - Hyah! Boris, you needed me? Yeah.
I thought we might do my quarterly blood draw.
You're not due to be checked for another week.
- Are you feeling okay? - Can we proceed? Of course we can.
You slept well, Hank? Ehh, not so much.
Being back in the city always gets my adrenaline going.
Pity.
Better to be well-rested before a challenge, huh? Look who's come to surprise us.
- Ah! - "Christinochka," careful.
Yes, my English stinks, but I know the sound of sarcasm.
- Dmitry Dmitrievich.
- My dear Boris.
Oh, pardon.
I-I shall come later.
No, no, no, of course not.
A nuisance that should have been done by now.
It's good to see you, Dima.
Good to see you, Boris.
Good to see you.
I'm sad this visit may I? Uh, will be such a short one.
Now, don't start saying your good-byes before we've even had a proper greeting.
- Uh, shall I come back? - No, no.
You might as well finish, doctor.
Dr.
Lawson, meet Dmitry Vasilyev.
- A pleasure.
- Yeah.
So what is so urgent? You make me miss wild boar season in Provence.
You were only reluctant to come because you owe me now, yeah? If you insist on talking business before offering him a meal, he must retreat to the comfort of his mother tongue.
Tell him he can enjoy a more leisurely pace at the Shadow Pond summit.
But our respective associates don't share enough common ground to merit a summit.
Dima, Dima, Dima, you can at least stay until, um Boris! Hey.
Here, lie down.
Lie down.
Let's raise his feet.
Here we go.
No, I'm all right.
I'm all right.
All right.
- Here.
- No.
No, this is good, this is good.
My mother insists.
I just feel faint.
My my pulse as well? Yeah.
You may have had a vasovagal reaction to the blood draw.
- Yeah.
- Is he is he fine? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
- Okay, uh, you rest, Boris.
- No.
- We talk more later.
- No, I'm better, I'm better.
Ahh I think we drop the pretense, doctor, yeah? I am suffering from a a condition.
A genetic disease.
I have kept it private.
You can understand why.
So far, the symptoms have not been dramatic.
What is the gene that is defective, doctor? It's the VCP gene on the ninth chromosome.
Yes, that's Sorry to hear that.
Truly.
So you say I must go to Shadow Pond because your time is short? Dima, none of us is immortal.
I will see you at dinner.
Okay? Father, I know that you do not want to talk to me.
But I also know how much you hate hospitals.
Your doctors are reluctant to discharge you because you still need 24-hour monitoring, and you are at risk for seizures.
But since I am a P.
A.
, they may release you into my care.
You could recuperate at home if I attend to you.
What can I do for you, Mr.
Katdare? Get my things.
I'm going home.
Wow, this fresh air seems to be doing you a world of good.
Next time you plan to fake symptoms, could you maybe, I don't know, give me a heads up? It was a necessary ruse, Hank.
And I couldn't risk any bad acting on your part.
Oh, okay.
Is Dmitry unwell, do you think? Well, if I had to guess, I'd say diabetes.
Why? He was shaking when he came in and went right for a sugary drink.
He has arthritis in his joints that made it hard to open the can.
I suspected you might have a knack for this.
Oh And diabetes is what I've heard.
Apparently, recently it's gotten worse.
I chose to expose my own health issues and even exploit them.
In hopes the Dmitry might see you in action and seek help.
I have no idea how consistent his medical care has been, and I imagine he hides his weaknesses from his political enemies.
I thought he was a businessman.
Oil is never just about oil, Hank.
There is a deal I want to make And others would very much like to see made.
It could help stabilize a nascent democracy.
And, yes, it would make money too.
Dmitry Vasilyev is the only man I know who can bring certain parties to the table.
But not if he's ill and depressed.
I need my old friend alive and well.
So I'm here as bait as medical bait.
Let's see if he bites.
I feel like did Picard ever get married? No, no.
I definitely would have remembered that.
That's crazy.
Um, okay, what about anything in Deep space nine? No There was a wedding in Enterprise.
Whoa, Enterprise does not count.
- Does it, Payload? - Definitely not to me.
No, you're right, it doesn't.
So I see no neuro deficits.
There you go.
You're not an alien.
Yeah, I just wanted to rule out any possible causes of your migraines, but you seem fine.
Okay, thanks.
Hey, Ev, you got a second? Um, there's something I want to show you.
Oh, my God, it's beautiful.
- You own a multi-axis trainer? - Oh, yeah.
- Who wants a go? - Me! I could - I mean ladies first.
- You go ahead.
Yes! Me - Would you hold this? - Yeah.
Come on.
Okay, now, step right here.
Careful.
Watch your head.
All right, come in here.
Put your feet here.
This is this is literally this is a dream come true.
Put these babies on.
- All right? - My God.
- All right, you good? - Yeah.
Okay, now, this little device develops balance and fortitude for experiencing weightlessness.
Yeah.
It's also a blast.
Oww! I'm excited.
- Okay, you ready for this? - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay, you ready? - Yep.
Yeah! Oh Yeah! Whoo-hoo! You know, if his stomach is anything like mine, maybe we better take a couple steps back.
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah! Oh oh, God.
- How you feeling? - No, no, I'm good.
Keep going.
Keep going.
Yes, yes.
Okay, stop, stop.
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
All right, hold on.
That was awesome! That was so awesome! I'm ready for zero gravity right now, man.
- Seriously.
- Okay, who's next, huh? Yeah, all right.
Okay, I gotta get out of this thing whoa! - Whoooooah! - Watch out! Oh, my God! Ohh.
Brady, oh, my gosh! Are you okay? Oh, yeah, I think I'm okay.
Oh, God, I'm s dude, I'm so sorry.
What the what is that? I have never seen anything like that before.
Wait, is Dude, you are an alien.
I I think I'm all right.
Oh, man.
Why is his blood green? Evan, hey.
Uh, I hope all is well with you.
Especially because if it's not, you can't reach me, so I don't know.
Uh, I'll try you later.
Finally a break.
My bilingual brain is fried.
Dmitry's English seems pretty good.
But business with Boris is all subtlety and nuance and Why I need fresh air.
Yeah, well, that should help.
So I take it you don't have a light? I'm a doctor.
No, I don't have a light.
I am down to one of these a day, doctor.
That may take more willpower than just quitting outright.
Willpower is no fun at all.
I'd rather indulge in my addictions.
I should see if Boris needs me.
Um ls he all right? - I - I mean I'd ask him myself, but with his new domesticated status, I I don't want to presume.
Doctor Do you have a moment? Uh, absolutely.
Shall I translate? We can do alone.
Thank you, "Christinochka.
" But what would cause the blood to be green? There's one possibility.
Vulcan DNA? Sulfhemoglobinemia.
Okay, now that sounds Vulcan.
That does kind of that could be Vulcan.
Yeah.
Well, it's not.
Have you taken any medicine that you failed to mention? Because medicines that control migraines can contain sulfonamide.
Uh, well, you know, I've been taking every day, but That's way too much.
You can't take that prophylactically.
Your blood is discolored because it has too much sulfur in it.
Okay, but if my migraines return, no one's gonna let me back into space.
Well, then, you can't go back into space.
You have to stop taking those pills.
I'll get a rush on those labs.
And we'll follow up as soon as the results come in.
So that was pretty harsh, man.
The diagnosis is correct.
Yes, but your bedside manner is not.
You need to support the hopes and dreams of your patients.
He needs to stop overmedicating.
Yes, but, Jeremiah, you made him feel bad.
I did? I can't lie to him.
Look, okay.
I know.
I'm not asking you to do that.
I'm just saying Hank doesn't just go the extra mile, he finds ways to soften the blow, so feelings don't get hurt.
You can't be so blunt, Jeremiah.
You mean, how you're being blunt with me? I'm not it's okay.
I got it.
Doctor, this I need stronger.
Ha have you been diagnosed with erectile dysfunction? Erecto what? - Are you ill? - I have diabetes.
Doctor says problem comes with this.
It can impotence is common among diabetics.
Not for me, may maybe for you, but Excuse me? Not before, I'm I'm sorry.
Look, uh An old friend comes to visit tonight.
I don't want to disappoint her, okay? Just some stronger, please.
Please.
How is your blood sugar control? Uh, do you use an insulin pump? Oh, no.
I, uh Oh, you inject insulin? I inject, yes.
Quiet for a second.
Okay.
Ah, deep breath in and out.
Depression can also come with diabetes.
Again.
And depression can cause impotence.
Yes, yes, yes.
Okay, please lie down.
How many times did you try the pills? One one fiasco was more than enough.
Ah, for many men, these pills don't work the first time.
You might need to try the pills several times before success.
And the pills aren't a substitute for, you know, stimulation and the oh, whoa, whoa.
Uh, bedroom tips No need.
Got it.
Your liver's enlarged.
Do you drink alcohol? Look, doctor.
I am Russian.
We drink alcohol, okay? I should draw blood to test your liver function.
The liver can affect diabetes and cause E.
D.
You look at my blood? No, I send it to a lab.
No.
No blood goes out.
We wouldn't have to use your name.
No.
It's too much risk.
No.
Listen, I can't prescribe for you without more information.
Dr.
Dolittle What? Thank you very much.
Please.
You're welcome.
Can you tell me who's president? Father, I know that you don't want to talk to me, but these questions are for your mental status.
I can tell you my wife of 30 years has decided to become independent, like her daughter.
That's my status.
And your temperature's back to normal too.
You need the nutrition, father.
I understand you met with Dmitry, but no lab tests went out? Do you really need my lecture on patient confidentiality? Let's skip your recitation of the hippocratic oath, as well, shall we? Yes.
Now, Hank, I want to warn you about Christina.
Thanks.
Why? Don't underestimate her.
She's formidable.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've noticed.
Did she say something? No, just just that she was concerned about your health.
I was alerting you to her poker skills, Hank.
Oh.
Oh, okay.
What did you think I was going to say? I uh, no, 'cause What did she say about Let's never mind.
Mm-hmm.
I understood that.
- Doctor.
- Boris.
So, um, Texas hold 'em.
If you want to play my game.
Hank.
No.
Good call.
Set up a new skeet range at Shadow Pond.
You can try the new remington over and under, yeah? Don't change our subject, Boris.
This word, embargo, it's a very bad word.
It offends the shias.
Oh, really? Not for me.
Me? Yes.
Gentlemen.
Has been enjoyed, but I must call it an early evening.
Toodle-oo.
Good night.
- Good night, Hank.
- Good night.
Good night, Hank.
What happened? What? Dmitry? Dima? What happened? He's in hypoglycemic shock.
Is there glucose here? No! No glucose yet.
He's been drinking.
I'll give thiamine first.
Okay.
Good.
Thiamine.
Now we give him the glucose.
And this should bring him around.
He asked, "what are you doing here?" Uh, tell tell him he drank, he didn't eat, and he exercised vigorously and put himself into a dangerous low.
Supraventricular tachycardia.
Your heart rate is too rapid.
This should slow it down.
Ow, ow! Ah! Ah! It's not working.
- Boris, help me sit him up.
- Yeah.
That's it.
Good.
Dima.
Oh uhh Okay, just hold him like that.
Uh hold these.
Thank you.
We're going to dunk you, briefly.
Yeah, we are.
That's it, that's it.
Okay, okay.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
That's one way to get your heart back into sinus rhythm.
And it worked.
- It did? - Whew.
Thank God.
He'll be all right? Yeah, I'll stick around to make sure.
But, Dmitry, you need further tests.
I know your reservations about sending out labs, but what if the lab came here? Well, we've definitely found some advantages to having Hank out of the house.
Hmm.
Would it be wrong to ask him to move out after the wedding? You're not going to live on Saturn? So you're not too keen on the interstellar nuptials? You picked up on that.
What happened to the girl who went to space camp? Honestly, I I was never a fan of space.
Too dark and cold.
I went to camp because of my crush on Brady.
Oh, good.
That's awesome.
Fido and Payload sitting in a tree.
What the hell are those nicknames anyway? Fido stands for Flight Dynamics Officer.
And Payload? What's Payload about? Or were you just a little hefty? Ow! I was in charge of mission cargo, thank you very much.
- Ow.
- Geez.
And I was a little hefty.
No.
Are you kidding me? I love that! So was I.
I swear to God.
At least we have that in common, right? What do you mean, "at least"? I bet we weren't that different growing up.
I would have killed too to space camp.
Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? I wouldn't mind a nickname.
Like, Tiberius.
You cannot give yourself a nickname.
And it certainly can't be that.
- It's James T.
Kirk - No, sorry.
It's Captain Kirk's middle name.
Absolutely not.
I won't have it.
- No.
- James Tiberius Kirk.
What's wrong? Sorry to wake you.
I thought I might try another mango lassi.
Of course.
It looks like you have your appetite back.
Father.
I need to apologize For getting angry at you on the day of your fall.
I was insensitive, and I fear that I drove you to the edge.
Literally.
Literally? I am so grateful not to have lost you.
Yes, my desperate act failed.
But maybe there's a silver lining.
Or at least a mango lining.
I'll be right back.
Good evening.
Sorry to ransack your bar.
The one in my suite's empty.
And they call this joint a five-star.
Bourbon okay? Yeah.
You read my mind.
To a long day.
Unless you're used to days like this.
No.
This was definitely a first.
Firsts are good.
I like firsts.
You know I had you beat on that last round of poker.
You know I saw your cards.
Now you know I can bluff.
Now, what's that called in Russian? I don't believe you, but I like how that sounds.
There's more.
Unfortunately, I'm here to do a job, and it's not over.
Look, I'm barely keeping up in these circles.
Thrilling as they are.
Says a man who saved a life with an ice bucket.
But you made that save bilingual.
That's the thrilling part? That is to me.
If you're worried about your boss, Boris respects the concept of being off the clock.
You can trust me on that.
I'd like to get to know you better.
Talk about firsts.
Dima? Where are you going? What about your biopsy? I'm sorry, I must go.
The lab equipment's arrived.
Listen, you need to do this.
- Dmitry.
- What? You're having trouble with your index and middle fingers.
Yes.
Genius.
Arthritis is a symptom of diabetes, I thought.
No, this doesn't look like diabetic arthropathy.
The only joints affected are the second and third metacarpophalangeas.
Really? Sorry.
These knuckles.
I'm beginning to suspect diabetes and liver disease are not your primary illness, but are caused by another underlying condition.
Underlying con what is your doctor cooked for me? Dr.
Lawson is his own man.
Trust me.
Look, if I'm right about what you're suffering from, there may be a bronze discoloration beginning in your armpits.
Would you like some privacy? Could we stop with this P.
C.
crap? Privacy, schmivacy.
Okay.
So what is this new disease I have? It's a blood disease called hemochromatosis.
It causes liver disease and diabetes, and can lead to depression.
The biopsy will confirm it.
And there's a treatment we can and should begin immediately.
Okay.
You want a smoothie? No.
Eggs? No.
No, no, no.
Okay, what happened? Dear old Fido is not renewing his retainership.
It's all Jeremiah's fault too.
How? You were there.
He just blurted out the diagnosis.
He didn't soft-pedal or coddle or even sound sorry.
First of all, Brady wouldn't want to be coddled.
And And what? Really? Paige? I think you blew it with Brady.
- I blew it? - Yeah.
When he asked you for a discount, you didn't respond.
Oh, my he was kidding.
And then he said, he'd get right on it.
He was smiling.
And "I'll get right on it" can mean the opposite.
I know Brady.
And after reading that email, I still don't think he said no.
Oh, really? "I regret we aren't a good fit.
" So, he's open to negotiation.
He just wants a deal.
Paige, the guy's a gazillionaire.
And he wants it to stay that way.
So get your CFO ass over there, and close this deal.
Look, uh If I'm Better, daddy? You haven't called me that for years.
Are the damask roses blooming? I'll go check.
No need.
Perhaps we can walk out together and look at them.
The fresh air would be good for you.
In fact, I'll open the doors now.
You didn't jump.
You were on a chair, spraying the bees' nests when you fell, weren't you? I never said I jumped.
But you let me believe it.
I was afraid You wouldn't stay.
Oh.
Uhh.
Daddy It wasn't just guilt that brought me here.
I almost lost you.
Do you really want me to feel better? I will not take sides with you or mother.
That is for you to settle.
And you will throw out that mental list of eligible bachelors that you have prepared.
Otherwise, yes, I want to help.
I have no list.
Two nice men.
That's not a list.
Do we have a deal? How much more of my blood do you need, doctor? We'll drain off about a pint.
It's called phlebotomy or bloodletting.
It will ease the overload of iron in your hemoglobin which is the source of your symptoms.
Will it cure his illnesses? It won't reverse them, but it will slow them down.
Doctor.
I'm grateful.
Thank you.
There is a catch.
This bloodletting needs to be repeated.
How often? As frequently as you can tolerate.
At least once a week at first, and your blood will have to be tested.
Dima, we could set up a secure lab at Shadow Pond.
And I could make Dr.
Lawson available for additional draws.
Of course you can.
Very convenient for your summit, isn't it? Yeah.
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
- This is interesting.
- Yeah.
Hey, Brady.
Hey, man.
- Thanks for seeing us.
- Shh, shh.
I have to concentrate.
And you're doing it.
You just went up a tenth of a degree.
So, Jeremiah, what's going on? I thought Brady might control his migraines using biofeedback instead of using medication.
How does that work? Well, I use breathing and focus to raise the temperature in my hands.
Retraining the vascular system can help alleviate the migraines.
And as it turns out, having migraines may not prevent me from blasting off again.
If I bring a doctor with me.
Oh, if you bring a so, um, I'm I'm not a doctor, per se.
You certainly aren't.
Don't worry, Fido, we will find you a medical companion if it comes to that.
Thanks.
Yeah, a medical companion.
Well, I know I should go the extra mile for Hankmed.
But it's 62 extra miles to the Karman line at the atmosphere's boundary.
Thanks.
A little space camp stayed with me.
Apparently.
All right.
You can stand down, Bones.
You fulfilled your mission.
Bones? He's Spock.
But he's a doctor.
Oh, right, 'cause otherwise, he's completely Spock.
- Totally.
- Please stop.
So got what you wanted.
Happy? Let's stop it, Dima.
You're more desperate for this deal that I am, and you know it.
Come on.
Get comfortable.
Well, Hank, once again, you've exceeded my high expectations.
I would have been useless if there hadn't been a patient to care for.
Yeah? Ah! Sorry to reinforce stereotype.
I had a packing meltdown.
You're coming to Shadow Pond? Of course.
There's still work to be done.
And we'll get that chance for you to know me better.